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“[…] better creatures could love you; I know.
But now they’ll have to
get through
me.”
- my love should wear a warning sign, damn right I remember you |e.j.|
You’d think he’s not a morning person, but years of college mixed with V-League changed him.
His eyelashes flutter, blinking the sleep out of his groggy eyes. The familiar warmth envelopes him, a soft ray of the dawn flowing in the dark room from a small gap on the curtain covering the window. Soft tufts of hair tickle his cheeks as he tries to adjust, but to no avail – Yamaguchi always had a tight grip in his sleep.
Not that Tsukishima complains.
He managed to wiggle at least enough to face Yamaguchi, the latter’s arms circled around his waist, laying on Tsukishima’s arm. He’s already at an age where he no longer minds, and any show of annoyance will just be performative, because it’s part of his charm. His other arm lazily rests on Yamaguchi’s side, fingers slowly pressing against his back.
Still feeling a little sleepy himself, Tsukishima relaxes, embracing the moment of silence. Seven years is a lot of time to learn, and as golden light filters through, a sliver of glow along the freckles of the love of his life, he doesn’t mind being sappy when he’s left to his own devices. A small smile makes it way to Tsukishima’s lips, an occurrence that always happens around Yamaguchi: He knows he’s always been adored by Yamaguchi, but in his opinion, it should honestly be the other way around.
It always amazes him whenever he thinks about how they managed to stick together throughout the years, weathering the storms brought on by high school and college. The boy he always had scoffed at for being a weakling easily stole his heart as they steadily grew together, culminating into the peak of happiness that Tsukishima still doubts he deserves, up to this day.
He still doesn’t understand why Yamaguchi chose him. Asking doesn’t really help, either, considering how many times his questions were met with a bashful smile or a non-sensical answer. Yamaguchi remains to him as the biggest juxtaposition: simple, yet complex. For all the years they’ve been together, Tsukishima has accepted that there is not a single answer to the mysteries that the optimist hold.
Golden eyes study his face carefully, short eyelashes and all. The freckles strewn across full cheeks made Tsukishima smile a bit wider – his heart, beating just a tad faster.
He loves Yamaguchi, as seldom as he says it, publicly or otherwise; Admittedly, his own lack of affection always worried him for years they’ve been together. Will Yamaguchi someday get tired of his detached persona? What if he craves for someone more caring, more open? The fear of not being able to change haunted him for a good portion of their years; After all, what’s the business of such a loveless creature like him being with someone like Yamaguchi, who has so much love to give that it goes beyond his body?
But it’s Yamaguchi. He always has his silent ways of reassuring Tsukishima, shy smile and a glint in his eyes that reassures Tsukishima that he knows him better than anyone else. He doesn’t say it, but Tsukishima knows, and agrees. Yamaguchi always knows when to reach out, and when to let him be. When to hold his hand, thumb rubbing the back of Tsukishima’s hand, as if erasing any worries and agitations, and when to let Tsukishima steep, simply sitting next to him as his thoughts were being sorted out.
In senior year, Yamaguchi told him that he didn’t know where he would be if it were not for Tsukishima, but Tsukishima had always been of the opposite belief – That Yamaguchi molded him from the stars across his cheeks and the hairpin curve of a smile that he always had.
The gentle breathing from Yamaguchi comforts Tsukishima beyond measure, his own body curving in, feeling the laziness of the Sunday morning take him over. Yamaguchi shifted in his sleep, scooting closer to Tsukishima’s warmth.
He must’ve been tired, Tsukishima thought. College is brutal to both of them, but it’s not so bad when you have someone to hold you up. Like a safety net. When they left Karasuno, Tsukishima was admittedly anxious, not quite sure what the future holds. It’s true, he didn’t have any reason to worry about his career, but the lack of support systems and the distance that some of them traveled put a heavy drop in his stomach.
But he had always been there. Standing next to him, from elementary until now. Yamaguchi keeps him grounded, and Tsukishima would’ve been lost without him.
“Tsukki?”
Yamaguchi’s quiet, sleepy voice breaks him out of his reverie, and Tsukishima looks down, humming lowly in response. Yamaguchi shifts slightly, easing the weight on Tsukishima’s arm, burying his face into his chest.
“You’re up so early.”
“I’m trying to sleep again,” He replies, absentmindedly stroking Yamaguchi’s back, the action bringing a drowsy smile on the latter’s face. “It’s a Sunday. We can afford to sleep in.”
Yamaguchi yawns and stretches a little, nodding in agreement. None of them made an effort to stand up, but now they both know that they wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. They’re both still bleary, but Sunday mornings are always so heavy on the body; by now, the curtains slipped open a little bit, and more light permeated into the room.
“I love you,” Tsukishima says, voice quiet. Normally he’d be flustered and embarrassed, but right now, he just wants to say it for some reason. He buries his face into Yamaguchi’s hair, as the latter giggles a little at the sudden confession.
“I love you too,” Yamaguchi murmured, following it with, “What’s up with you?”
Tsukishima smiles slightly at the mirth lacing Yamaguchi’s voice. “Just wanted to say it.”
“You’re weird on Sundays, Tsukki.”
“It’s your fault,” Tsukishima replies, holding Yamaguchi closer. “You made me like this.”
He closes his eyes, Yamaguchi’s soft laugh grounding him, feeling like falling in love over and over again.
He doesn’t mind it.