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“Have you ever been in love?”
The question made Bachira’s whole body freeze up. Memories of icey blue eyes, broken promises, and warm lips flashed through his mind like lightning. Bachira had sworn to never talk about it again, but he was just a little tipsy, tipsy enough that his brain said ‘ah fuck it’. He let his chin rest on his palm and let a bitter smile spread onto his face. He turned to the stranger at the bar, the only other person in the damn place who he ended up striking up a conversation with, Reo, he thinks his name was, and slowly nodded.
“Yeah… once.”
It felt strange admitting it. It felt even worse remembering that it was over because even after a year, Bachira isn’t sure he’ll ever feel the way he did then. But the worst part of it all is that somewhere deep in his heart, he misses him. That stupid, stupid boy who stole his heart and then left with it. He shouldn’t miss him, in fact, Bachira should despise the other for what he did. And yet he can’t and he hates himself for it everyday. But that’s not the point, the point is Reo has moved one seat closer to him, he must be intrigued by the far away look in Bachira’s yellow eyes. It’s almost as if he is begging to hear more without asking for it in words. Or maybe Reo relates to Bachira’s far away look and maybe, just maybe, he wants to feel less alone. Bachira can’t blame him for that. So he takes another sip of his drink because if he’s going to tell this story he doesn’t want to remember it in the morning and then he meets Reo’s eyes.
“Better buckle your seatbelt because I’m about to tell you the story of my epic summer romance with Isagi Yoichi or as I like to call him, trouble.”
-
Isagi Yoichi came into Bachira’s life like an unexpected summer storm.
He took over Bachira’s world like dark clouds take over the sun. And he rained on Bachira, the type of heavy rain that makes you think it will never stop. Bachira thought Isagi would never leave him and Bachira didn’t want him to leave either. Bachira basked in the summer storm that was Isagi Yoichi, he danced in the rain, wishing for it to never end. But people don’t always get what they want. And like every storm does, Isagi came in fast with lightning and thunder to rock Bachira’s world and then left after leaving a devastating mess behind him.
Bachira should have known, he should have seen the dark clouds as they rolled in and took cover because dark clouds always spell trouble. But instead he stood out in the open and let Isagi do what storms do best, destroy. It was the most beautiful type of destruction. And maybe, just maybe, Bachira did see them. Maybe he did know from his first time seeing Isagi that he would only cause him trouble and yet decided to let him ruin him anyways. But if that were the case, Bachira certainly wouldn’t tell anyone, too embarrassed of his own dumb decision. So he keeps that idea under lock in key somewhere deep in his heart, refusing to ever acknowledge it.
The two of them met for the first time last summer, July 6th, to be exact. Isagi Yoichi was the devastatingly handsome and incredibly charming new boy in town. A self-proclaimed wanderer, that’s what he called himself. He was looking for anything that would give his life meaning and so he travelled place to place in search of the next thing that would excite him so he could devour it and then move on. He stayed in a motel right outside the town, no one knows how he got the money to live the lifestyle he did but that just added to the mystery, it's what drew everyone to him, including Bachira.
( “I’m probably giving him too much credit but he really was the talk of the town and yet he still set his eyes on me! Me of all people! At the time I was flattered but now I wish I could go back in time and tell former Bachura to grab his coffee and get the hell out of there, ya know? )
Bachira remembers that day, July 6th, like it happened yesterday. He remembers watching Isagi stroll into the little coffee shop in simple black jeans and a white t-shirt with a smile on his face and his hands in his pockets, he remembers the way his confidence seeped out of him so effortlessly it took Bachira’s breath away. He remembers thinking, ‘what a privilege it must be, to get to know someone like that’ and he remembers when his yellow eyes met the others icey blue ones. He remembers the wink Isagi threw at him from across the shop, can still remember how fast his own cheeks turned red. He remembers the way his heart sped up when the other so casually slid into the seat across from him, a coy smile on his face as he asked, “Is this seat taken?” to which Bachira could only shake his head no, too in shock at the fact that a cute boy actually wanted to take to him.
July 6th is a day permanently seared into the mind of Bachira. He and Isagi talked for hours, neither planned to spend all day in the tiny cafe and yet they both just couldn’t pull away. When they were forced out when the place closed, Isagi had slipped Bachira his number with another wink.
“I came to this town in search of something that could change my life, I may have just found it.”
That’s what Isagi told him, those words haven’t left Bachira since that day. They still ring in his head when he lays in bed at night. It was a beautiful lie told by a beautiful person and it burned Bachira because while he is just another notch on Isagi’s belt of broken hearts, Isagi actually did change his life. Albeit not for the better. From that day on, Bachira found himself caught up in the storm known as Isagi.
Their first date followed quickly after that.
( “Let me set the stage for you Reo, it’s a hot summer night, and I’m spending it with an even hotter guy, he drives a beat up old car and that should have been my red flag but when you’re blinded by a puppy dog crush it feels like that old, stupid, beat up car is the new telsa or something. If you can’t tell I know nothing about cars. I’m getting off track… anyways back to the story!” )
Isagi picked Bachira up late at night, it wasn’t a planned thing. Isagi had called him randomly in the dead of night and said, “Wanna come on a drive with me?” His voice was low with a mischievous lilt that made Bachira’s heart flutter. How could he say no? The boy with the beautiful blue eyes he’s thought about for days was asking him to go on an unofficial date, it was like a dream come true. So he said yes, ( “Shoulda said no, I was fucking dumb Reo! Dumber than a bag of rocks!” ) and Isagi was at his doorstep in just a couple minutes.
Bachira was in sweats and a loose t-shirt and his hair was still wet because he had just gotten out of the shower and he wanted to change but he didn’t really have time and Isagi? Well when Isagi stepped out of the car he took Bachira’s breath away. He was in a white t-shirt, washed out jean jacket, and slightly ripped dark blue jeans. His hair was falling slightly in his face and in the moonlight his blue eyes glowed. Bachira could feel himself getting sucked into the other’s orbit, all he wanted to do was be close to the other boy, run his hands through his hair and hear him talk about his day. Bachira wanted to hold the hands that Isagi hid in his pockets and kiss his lips which were curled into his signature smile. It was only their second meeting, their first date, and yet Bachira thought maybe, just maybe, it would be the start of something never ending.
( “Yeah, I was a delusional idiot, as you can see.” )
For a second, Bachira just stood and watched the other boy. He couldn’t believe there was a person who could look just like an angel, little did he know, Isagi was just a devil in a well made disguise. He was broken out of his thoughts when Isagi called out to him, “You gonna keep standing there looking pretty or get in the car?” It was playful, meant to tease him, but Bachira couldn’t help but get hung up on the fact that Isagi called him pretty. It set his heart ablaze. So with quick steps, Bachira made his way over the other’s car, hopped in, and didn’t look back.
The two of them drove, for a long time. They didn’t really talk, instead they listened to the soft music that played from the radio and let their hands wander. Bachira let his arm rest on the middle console of the car and after a minute, Isagi rested his arm there too. And soon enough, the two found their hands linked. Bachira remembers looking over at the other, eyes wide when he realized that Isagi had taken his hand. He remembers seeing how Isagi just kept looking forward, head bopping slightly to the music and it was then he realized just how easy being with Isagi was. He liked it, liked feeling like he didn’t need to overthink things, he could just be himself. Isagi wouldn’t care, so why should he? A smile bloomed onto Bachira’s face that night and he looked out the window, his hand in Isagi’s, and thought this is what falling in love was.
( “To be fair, he really was handsome, and our hands really did fit together perfectly. He made it easy to fall in love. I hate him to this day for that. For fitting so effortlessly into my life and then leaving like it was nothing. I can still feel the ghost of his hand in mine, the taste of his lips still linger… god I really hate him.” )
Bachira doesn't know how long they drove for, all he remembers is the warm feeling of holding hands with Isagi and the cold feeling he got when they pulled back into his driveway. He didn’t want to say goodnight, too afraid to say goodbye. And when Isagi let go of his hand to let Bachira get out of the car it just felt… wrong. So Bachira took a leap of courage ( “I should have just said goodnight but there’s a lot of things I should have done so let's not get into it.” )
“Want to come inside?”
The words left Bachira’s mouth before he could even think twice. His hand reached out to grab Isagi’s sleeve. His yellow eye’s melted into the blue of Isagi’s, and the other boy could only raise an eyebrow. Isagi must not have thought Bachira would have the courage to ask, but he did, and here they were. The air seemed to tense as Bachira awaited an answer, ‘say yes, please say yes’ he thought, pleading. He wanted this so badly, wanted Isagi so badly to stay (no one has ever stayed and Bachira later on would learn Isagi was not an exception to that rule). For a second, the world was frozen, and then Isagi let his lips turn into a smirk, “Sure.” It was the confirmation Bachura needed, his own face breaking out into a wide, electrifying smile. Nothing more was said as he got out of the car alongside Isagi and dragged him to his house.
When they finally got inside, the door shutting so loudly behind them that it made Isagi jump to the point it made Bachira’s giggles fill the quiet space around them, they could both feel it. The magnetic pull that kept them close. Soon enough, Isagi was pushing Bachira’s hair out of his face, his hand still lingering on his cheek and Bachira was getting lost in those ocean eyes again. This time, they were close, and there was nothing in the way to stop them, not the seatbelts of the car or the pressure of the world around them, in this moment, it was just Bachira and Isagi. It felt so real, so raw, and Bachira thought this was it, no one has ever drawn him in like Isagi. It was fast, sure, but maybe this was what they called love at first sight, maybe this was that whirlwind of love he had been aching for. Maybe Isagi really was it for him.
( “Ah… I was a bit of a hopeless romantic, It was shameful really, I guess, now that he’s gone, I realize the blame is on me.” )
But Bachira didn’t have much more time to think because Isagi was walking forward, pushing Bachira’s back into the door. Isagi was leaning forward and sweeping Bachira away, consuming his heart and mind. Isagi kissed him and he tasted like bitter black coffee and Bachira found himself craving more. So he let go of all inhibitions and let his arms hook around the other boy's neck and pulled him close. And they kissed and they kissed and they kissed. Some say they feel sparks when they kiss, some say they feel fireworks, Bachira felt none of that. Instead, he felt warmth, the kind of warmth you get when drinking a hot cup of bitter black coffee on the coldest day in December, it’s a warmth that starts in your chest and spreads to the rest of you. Kissing Isagi felt like pure warmth and Bachira found himself addicted to the taste of bitter black coffee.
They probably could have kissed all night but humans need to breathe and so Bachira pulled away with a slight gasp which made Isagi slightly laugh which in turn made Bachira begin to laugh. The two boys stood, foreheads pressed together, hands linking, sending laugh after laugh into the once lonely space of Bachira’s home. Bachira never wanted this to end, the warmth and light Isagi brought him was something Bachira wanted to hold onto and never let go of. So he pulled the other boy towards his couch and held him close, sharing kisses here and there as they talked till the sun began to rise.
Bachira told the blue eyed boy about how his insecurities ate at him due to the lack of present parents and an ulgy childhood. Bachira told him he loved yellow because it was the color of sunflowers and Bachira loved sunflowers. Bachira told him about his dreams and hopes and Isagi listened quietly while smiling and rubbing patterns onto the back of his hand. Isagi in turn tells Bachira about his first heartbreak at the tender age of fifteen ( “That’s another red flag! Who talks about their breakup while on a date with someone else! I don’t know who’s dumber me for falling for his bullshit or Isagi for being so obviously toxic.” ) Isagi also told him about his love for travel, his favorite memories from travelling, and all the places he still wants to go. Isagi told Bachira about his distaste for staying in one place for too long, and it should have been a tell, should have sparked worry in his heart. But instead Bachira let himself fall deeper into the charming person Isagi Yoichi was. That night Bachira and Isagi got lost in each other’s worlds and for a moment, it seemed things would be perfect. And for a while, it was.
July was a whirlwind for Bachira and Isagi. They spent every moment they could together. Isagi would pick Bachira up in the morning and they would keep their hands clasped the whole ride to the little cafe they first met at to eat breakfast together. Bachira brought Isagi to his art studio, letting him see all the pieces he was too afraid to show the world. He worried Isagi would hate them, but Isagi just smiled his pretty smile and showered him in compliments. “A beautiful person creating beautiful art, you’re amazing Bachira.” That’s what Isagi told him with a smile. And it shook Bachira’s heart up, Isagi had that effect on him. Everything he said seemed to carry weight, when he said something it seemed like he meant it. ( “As it turns out he didn’t mean jackshit, he was just a really good liar.” )It made his heart flutter, but then again, most things Isagi did made his heart flutter. Isagi took Bachira on surprise dates every week, each one more fun than the last. Once, Isagi took Bachira to a pretty spot to watch the sunset. There was a picnic with all of his favorite foods and a blanket they could lay on to watch the sky. That night, Bachira spent it cuddled up into Isagi’s side as they looked up into the sky, stealing kisses, telling stories. It was perfect. It was the night Bachira told Isagi he loved him. For Bachira it marked the end of July and the beginning of what felt like a never ending love story. But in reality, it really marked the beginning of the end, for Isagi and Bachira.
“I love you.” Bachira whispered against Isagi’s lips. The sun was almost fully set and two boys on the mountain were drowning in the cool colors of the sky, purples and blues showering them. Bachira didn’t mean to let the words slip, but here, in this moment, he couldn’t hold himself back. Isagi still tasted like bitter coffee and it felt so safe, like an anchor he could hold onto forever. He couldn’t hold it back anymore, Bachira was the type to love fiercely and wholeheartedly, if he loved he loved fully. And right now, he was fully in love with Isagi. So, he let himself go, let all his emotions pour out into those three words. This was him, giving his all to Isagi. It would drastically change things, but from the way things were going, he thought it would be for the better.
( “...I have many regrets in my life Reo. I regret eating sand when I was a kid and getting so sick I had to go to the hospital. I regret letting all those kids in my school bully me with no repercussions. I regret quitting soccer. But I think my biggest regret is telling Isagi Yoichi that I loved him. He didn’t deserve it.” )
Except, when Bachira leaned back, trying to see any reaction from Isagi, he felt his heart stop. Isagi almost seemed disappointed. It was only a flash, a break in the facade, but it was there. It planted a seed of doubt in Bachira’s heart. But Isagi, the devil in disguise he was, quickly hid it. He let a smile fall on his face, the pretty one that always took Bachira’s breath away. And it crushed the seed, because Bachira was a fool, a fool in love.
“You glow under the moonlight, I think you might be the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” Isagi whispered into the air, the sun had finally set, the moon now high in the sky. Isagi then leaned in again, capturing Bachira’s lips with his again. His heart still fluttered, still addicted to the bitter taste of coffee Bachira let himself fall into the kiss, forgetting that Isagi never even acknowledged his declaration of love. In fact, he never brought it up again. ( “It was then, I should have known then, I should have seen it, I was so so stupid Reo. So stupid.” )
That night, the sun set on the last day of July and on Isagi and Bachira’s relationship.
Ever since that night something in their relationship shifted. It stopped feeling equal. Bachira and Isagi were no longer on the same playing field. It was almost like they were racing and at first, they were running besides each other until Isagi started going faster and faster and Bachira could only chase behind him, hoping to catch up. Yet Bachira tried to ignore it, he didn’t like it, the feeling of Isagi slipping out of his grasp. And slowly, he felt himself start to change. His world stopped revolving around his art and his own life, but instead Isagi. He found himself doing anything he could to win the other’s praise, his affection. Sometimes, Isagi would ignore him. He wouldn’t answer his texts, wouldn’t pick up calls, and if Bachira went to see him, his car would be gone. Those nights threw him into turmoil. Fears and insecurities ate at his heart and there was nothing Bachira could do but cry. Instead of laughter filling his house now it was sobs, harrowing sobs of a boy whose heart was being flown to places it has never been. He tried to bring it up to Isagi once. It didn’t go too well.
“Isagi, can we talk, please?” Bachira had asked one night. They were sitting on his couch watching some movie that Bachira couldn’t focus on. Bachira was focused on the fact that Isagi had ignored him for three days and from what he heard it was because Isagi drove into the city, to party. To get away from him, is how that translated to Bachira. It made him feel sick, his stomach churned. He just wanted to feel warm again, he wanted Isagi’s warmth again. Even here, with Isagi’s arm around his shoulder, that once protective warmth wasn’t here. Instead, Bachira felt cold and he hated it.
“Sure babe what’s up?” Isagi responded back. Except he didn’t even look at him, like he didn’t even car. At this point, Bachira was getting angry. Did his feelings mean nothing to Isagi? Did he care? At all? Bachira wanted the Isagi who looked into his eyes while he talked back, he wanted the Isagi who memorized his coffee order back, he wanted /his/ Isagi back.
( “My Isagi didn’t really exist though, that’s the part I was missing. My Isagi was a mask, a deception, maybe he was just a figment of my imagination, who knows. All I know is that he was never really there.” )
Bachira was angry, he was frustrated, and he was hurt. So he got up and turned the TV off ignoring the protests from the other. “When I talk, look at me, this is serious.” He exclaimed, now staring down at Isagi who still sat on the couch. The other boy just rolled his eyes, “What’s your problem?” Isagi said in an accusatory tone. His eyes were narrowed and even though Bachira was the one standing over Isagi, it felt as if Isagi was the one looking down on him. It made Bachira feel small and he wanted to cower, to shy away. Almost all the fight in him was gone with the way Isagi looked at him. He didn’t like it, didn’t like feeling unloved. After all he had done to keep them together, to catch up to Isagi in this never ending race, did he really want to lose it all to some fight?
“My problem…” Bachira whispered, could he do it? Could he fight back? He had to, it felt like, to make something of them, to salvage the broken pieces of their relationship. “It’s you. You ignoring me and leaving me in the dark of all your plans. You never talking to me about anything ever and only showing up when it’s convenient. Is that what I am to you Isagi? Just something convenient, there when you want me but gone when you don’t? I can’t keep doing this. It’s driving me crazy Isagi so please, if that’s all I am to you tell me.” At this point, Bachira had started yelling. His arms were flailing and all Isagi could do was stare at the angry boy with wide eyes. Bachira had never lashed out like this, he always buried his feelings, too afraid of how others would judge him if he said the things he truly wanted to say. But Isagi, Isagi was something Bachira didn’t want to lose, so he let go of his insecurities for once. This was something he wanted to fight for, he just hoped Isagi felt the same.
When he finally calmed down, he met the other’s blue eyes. Isagi seemed angry. His eyes burned like blue fire and they sent shivers down his back. Bachira began to shrink back as Isagi stood up from the couch. “Is that what you think of me Bachira? I’ve never given you any reason to not trust me and I don’t owe you anything. Just because you’re insecure doesn’t mean you get to take it out on me. I never thought of you as a convenience but if that’s what you think then I guess I’ll just leave, I thought you knew me better than that. I thought you were different.”
It was like a punch in the gut hearing that and watching Isagi walk away. Bachira felt his knees go weak as the door slammed behind the boy he loved. It took a minute for everything to seep in. But when it did, Bachira felt his knees hit the ground and the tears begin to flow. ( “He never saw me cry, that’s the one thing I can say. I never let that bastard see me cry.” ) He spent that night alone, his only company his own tears.
Isagi and Bachira didn’t talk the next day. Bachira spent the whole day home, thinking about their fight. Was He really the one in the wrong? ( “I wasn’t.” ) Maybe he was too harsh on Isagi. ( “I should have been harsher.” ) Maybe he really did let his insecurities get the best of him. ( “Yeah and even if I did, he shouldn’t have talked to me like that.” ) He should apologize, he was the one who messed up, he was the one who got it wrong. ( “Young and dumb, I had nothing to apologize for but past Bachira was just a mess of feelings. I really deserved a hug, fuck Isagi for not giving me one. Reo, after this story is over, I demand a hug.” )
So that’s what Bachira did. The next day he found himself in front of Isagi’s rented home to apologize. He nervously knocked on the door, eyes downcast waiting, hoping for an answer. When the door finally opened, he could feel Isagi’s eyes looking down on him. ( “How dare he look down on me! I’m taller! Me! Yeah by like only a centimeter but still!” ) Bachira almost wanted to run away from the heavy gaze, but he stood firm. If he didn’t apologize how would they ever fix their relationship? How would Isagi ever love him? So there he stood, eyes down, and he waited. He waited for Isagi to make the first move because who knows maybe Isagi really did want nothing to do with him at this point. Maybe an apology wouldn’t be enough and Isagi would leave him anyways. All of these thoughts ate at Bachira and maybe these were the insecurities Isagi was talking about before. He was getting lost in his own thoughts when Isagi finally spoke up. The other cleared his throat loudly, which made Bachira look up. Their eyes met, and Isagi finally spoke. “What are you doing here? Came to yell at me some more?” It stung. His words, but he guessed he deserved it for the way he acted.
“No… I’m here to apologize.” Bachira said lightly, keeping their eye contact. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. And I’m sorry I let my insecurities get the best of me. I love you and it scares me and I let it get to me I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?” Bachira is almosting begging at this point, and he thinks it’s all for nothing because Isagi is still just looking at him with those eyes. Those cold, ice blue eyes. For a second, Bachira thinks it’s all over, and then, the ice in Isagi’s eyes melt. He leans in swiftly for a kiss, a tender, ‘I forgive you” kiss. And Bachira falls right back into him. So quick to forget all his worries because the warmth Isagi gave him was back and that was all he really wanted.
“I forgive you, I know it must have been hard saying that. So thank you. I care so much about you Bachira, don’t forget that.” That’s what Isagi said that day and in that moment it was enough for Bachira. He had Isagi back and that was enough. He thought the worst of it was over, that the rest of August would pass just the way July did, in a lovely, rosy way. Oh how wrong he was.
( “It was always, ‘I care about you’ or ‘You mean so much to me’ it was never ‘I love you’. He ever, not once, said he loved me back. And that’s how I should have known really. He was never truly mine, in fact, he was gone long before he met me and so, I guess, the jokes on me.” )
August was filled with fights. And they always went the same way. Isagi would walk out and Bachira would apologize. It was agonizing, the constant question of whether today would be a good day or a bad day. For Bachira, the bad days sucked, they hurt more than anything. But the good days, the good days were magical. On the good days Bachira got to drown in Isagi’s warmth, feed his addiction to the taste of bitter hot coffee, and feel loved beyond belief. So Bachira stayed and he apologized every time because he didn’t want to lose that feeling, even if it hurt he stayed by Isagi.
But as summer started rolling into fall, Bachira began to feel a change, a shift. Isagi had begun, pulling away more. He was running ahead again, so far ahead Bachira could barely even see him. It was stressful and it was scary and they fought more and more and more. Bachira was exhausted and yet he still texted Isagi good morning and good night every day. He still held his hand as they walked side by side. He still loved him fiercely. And then, everything changed.
It happened right after one of the good nights. He and Isagi spent the night at Bachira’s. They made homemade pizzas together, which ended in a flour fight. They giggled while throwing the flour at each other and once they were both covered in it they decided it was best to just order a pizza to eat. After both took showers they cuddled up in the corner of the couch, Bachira’s head laid on Isagi’s chest so he could hear his heartbeat to remind him he was real and he was there. This was a good night, a really good night. A night that brought hope into Bachira’s heart and made him think that maybe, just maybe, things would get better. Maybe this was finally the beginning of forever, the one Bachira had been waiting for. ( “I was wrong, so so wrong.” ) That night, Bachira fell asleep warm.
And then he woke up cold.
When he woke up, groggy from sleep, he felt an unexplainable coldness overtake him. When he looked around, Isagi was gone. All traces of him were gone. It was like he had never even been there at all. Bachira felt his heart drop in his chest. Immediately he was up, he checked his phone for any texts and yet nothing. Isagi’s car was gone, everything Isagi had left in his apartment, the tooth brush, the extra clothes, the soccer ball, everything, just… gone. He called the place that Isagi was staying at but they told him he was gone. Bachira felt the tears well up, this couldn’t be happening, no, he wouldn’t believe it. He stumbled back into the living room after checking the house only to notice something he hadn’t before. A note, taped to the dinner table Bachira never uses.
“Goodbye. - Isagi.”
Bachira felt his heart crack. And it hit him in that moment, what Isagi truly was. He was someone who didn’t care, and for a while Bachira liked that. But Bachira had hoped, Isagi cared about him. The person who kissed him tenderly and called him beautiful, the person who held his hand, who laughed at his jokes, who loved him. And yet, after all Bachira had done for Isagi, he just left. It dawns on him then, tht Isagi never loved him, he probably didn’t love his last ex, hell, Bachira doesn’t think Isagi has ever loved anyone or anything. And it hurts, it hurts because Bachira gave so much of himself up for Isagi. He lost himself for Isagi and this is what he gets in return. A broken heart, a lifetime of insecurities, and the feeling of hitting the ground. Bachira had hit rock bottom and had no idea how to get back up. But right now, what he could do, was cry. So he did. Bachira ripped up the stupid note left by the stupid boy and let himself cry.
-
“You wanna know the worst part Reo?” Bachira asked, a small, bitter smile set on his face. He looks up, meeting the eyes of the purple haired boy. The other could only nod, so invested in the tragic love story Bachira told.
“I knew.” He admits, finally unlocking that box he hid in his heart. “I knew his world moved too fast and burned too bright. I knew that at some point he would leave. I knew he was trouble from the minute he walked into my life. But I still stayed.”
It was hard to admit. It hurt to admit. But after almost a year of trying to pick up the pieces of his own broken heart, Bachira felt it was finally time to start admitting the things he buried away, maybe then he could truly let go. He would admit that part of him doesn’t regret all the time he spent with Isagi, he would admit a part of him may still love the boy who left him, and he would admit that he still loved the taste of bitter hot coffee except the real thing could never compare to the taste of Isagi’s lips.
