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sins of the father

Summary:

Qui-Gon reflects on the changes training Anakin will bring to his life.

Work Text:

There are many ways to touch the Force, Qui-Gon knows. In Republic-controlled space, every child is tested during their species’ infancy. If they are above the threshold, they are eligible to become Jedi, if they are sent away before they reach 6 standards, or their species’ equivalent.

But there are many ways for a being below the threshold to manipulate the Force, even unconsciously. An ace pilot. A lucky gambler. A green thumb. A detective who always knows when her suspect is lying. An artist with dreams of things he has never seen, so far away, yet so real. A slave who knows when her Master is in a mood before he does.

Qui-Gon does not test Shmi’s midichlorian count. He does not need to. Force-sensitivity is often inherited. And there is something in her he recognizes, something basic, something primal.

Qui-Gon does not tell Shmi any of this. It would hurt her, he thinks, to know the opportunities she could have had if she hadn’t been born on Tatooine. He also does not want Shmi to refuse to send Ani away. He would respect her wishes of course, if she did. But he doesn’t think she will. He knows how limited her choices are for her son, as a slave.

It is not required by Republic law for a parent to give up their child, of course. But it is strongly encouraged. The Seekers tell them, honestly, about the difficulties non-Force sensitives have raising Force sensitive children—the risk of community rejection, of terrible accidents caused by lack of training. They tell them of the many dangers in the galaxy Force sensitives face outside of the protections of the Order—kidnapping, even enslavement. And, of course, they tell of the opportunities the Jedi provide. The Seekers do their jobs well. It is rare the parents of a Force sensitive refuse for good. Qui-Gon has no memories of his family, which is not uncommon among the Jedi. They sent him to the Temple as an infant, as soon as they met the Seeker.

Qui-Gon likes Shmi. She is kind, exceptionally so, especially in spite of her circumstances. And she has taught her son that compassion, something that will serve Ani well as a Jedi. Qui-Gon wants to free her. He is already thinking of ways he can make the trip back to the Outer Rim, places he can convert Republic currency to something that Watto would accept, even before he leaves with Ani. It is not often that a mission takes him to this part of the galaxy. But he is certain he can work around it. Perhaps there will be time for a quick detour on a future follow-up mission to Naboo...

He knows better than to make Shmi any promises. But Qui-Gon is certain that he will come back to Tatooine, with or without the Council’s approval. He is reminded of a maxim his own Master taught him, one of Master Dooku’s best lessons. Qui-Gon hears his Master’s voice clearly when he thinks it: What the Council does not know will not hurt them.

Dooku had not been a particularly kind Master—there was a reason that he and Obi-Wan had never met—but he had been an effective one. Qui-Gon has always strived to be both, for all of his apprentices. Whether he had succeeded in this, he recognized, was not for him to say.

He had never thought he would take another padawan after Obi-Wan (he hadn’t even planned on taking Obi-Wan) but even now, he is already planning how best to train Ani in the back of his head. It will be difficult for someone not raised in the Temple, in ways he knows he can’t fully understand right now. But he is certain that this is the path the Force wants him to be on. Qui-Gon has believed in the prophecies since long before he took Obi-Wan as his apprentice.

The Zabrak darksider’s attack causes complications, but it also increases his certainty. The galaxy is a dangerous place, and the Republic is failing in many ways. Qui-Gon believes this, and has spent his entire career as a Jedi being confronted with evidence of it. But even so, it is difficult for him to follow Ani's status as the Chosen One to its natural conclusion—that if he is the Chosen One, it means the Sith have returned.

He feels a flash of guilt when he looks at Obi-Wan. He has known for some time now that his padawan was nearing readiness for the Trials. But he has said nothing of it to Obi-Wan. They had been together for over twelve years now, longer than any of Qui-Gon’s previous apprentices. But he can hedge and delay no longer: Qui-Gon can admit to himself now that in reality, Obi-Wan has been ready for the Trials for quite some time. He just did not want to let the boy go. The Force has helped him see that, has given him a clarity he had lacked. Qui-Gon had not wanted to be alone again.

That was... selfish, almost unforgivably so. Certainly unbecoming of a Jedi Master. It was possible that his fondness for Obi-Wan was approaching an Attachment. Qui-Gon would have to meditate on that. He would have to talk to his padawan, explain things to him so he is not blindsided in front of the Council.

But then Ani says something to him about being cold, and then the Queen and then some of the pilots and all the civilians and—he does not get a chance to meditate on the journey back to Coruscant, nor is there time for a private conversation with Obi-Wan.

During the meeting with the Council, he can feel the hurt and betrayal slip through the training bond with his padawan for a fraction of a second when he tells them that he will train the boy, that Obi-Wan is ready for Knighthood. Obi-Wan freezes, hurt flashing in his eyes. Then it is gone, as if it was never there, and he steps forward to bolster his Master's words. He does not believe that he is ready, Qui-Gon thinks. The Council's decision is frustrating, but the Force tells him it will not be their final answer. Afterwards, Obi-Wan, in his usual cautious way, tells him that he agrees with the Council, that Ani should not be trained, saying nothing of his soon to be ending apprenticeship. Then he acts as if all is normal, though the small smile he gives him does not reach his eyes. Qui-Gon will have to speak with him.

He does not want this to be the last thing that happens between them before Obi-Wan completes the Trials, before Qui-Gon cuts his braid. He has no desire to hurt his padawan. He wants them to remain friends, to continue taking missions together, as equals instead of student and teacher. He wants Obi-Wan’s help, his wisdom, in training Ani, for the young man is wise beyond his years, and Qui-Gon knows that he is far from infallible. He wants Obi-Wan and Ani to be more than the brother-padawans they practically already are.

He wants Obi-Wan to know how proud he is of him.

On the Queen's ship, he studies Obi-Wan out of the corner of his eye. Already, he can see what a fine Knight the young man will be.

But he will have time for all of that, he thinks as the ship approaches the blockade around Naboo. After they free this world, he will have time to explain all of that to Obi-Wan, to free Shmi and to train Ani. He believes, no, he knows that the Force will provide.

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