Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Everything hurts, and there was not even an akuma in sight to justify it. She’s tired and has never felt the fatigue more than now; when she is nothing but (temporarily) free of her responsibilities as Luka claims the right to be her human blanket and main source of heat.

For such a large world she lives in, why does everything (or mostly) feel like they’re being stacked upon her? She feels like she’s going to suffocate in an invisible but tight grip. She feels like a thin thread that’s barely holding on and about to snap. Time seems to fly so fast and so slow at the same time, yet never giving Marinette enough to even catch up. All she needs is a break; enough time to think about and for herself for once and without the consequences of being accused as ‘selfish’.

So, there she lays in bed with Luka one afternoon, thankfully without the interference of her parents incessantly barging in on them. She should try to get away from Luka’s hold (because it should feel similar to the suffocation of pressure), yet the feeling of his arms around her brings nothing but comfort, using his heartbeat as her anchor to remain in such a relaxed state. She listens to him breathe and (tries to) match her own breathing with his.

Everything hurts, but it’s slowly dwindling the longer she stays in Luka’s arms.

So perhaps she may see the world as cruelly working her to death and against her, but if she has to receive Luka’s support after all of it, then maybe Marinette doesn’t mind the suffering at all.

A small voice in the back of her head chastises her for disregarding her well-being, even if for the sake of having to indulge herself with Luka’s presence. Perhaps she’s being selfish, perhaps not.

But this is nice. This is okay. This is warm and comfortable.

Having enough with her musings, Marinette glances at what’s in front of her. With the amount of times they’ve shifted to find a comfortable position, it’s left Luka’s shirt ruffled and a little out of place. She doesn’t look up high enough to know if Luka’s looking at her or not, but she sets her sight on his exposed skin and reaches out to it with a hand. Hesitantly, her brushes against his collarbones, tracing small and random shapes onto them. Luka tries to hold in a shudder from the sensation, his hold on Marinette faintly tightening. She doesn’t say anything for a while to indicate if she notices or is bothered by it and continues what she’s doing.

“You good, Marinette?” He whispers to her, his breath blowing against her hair.

“Mhm…”

Luka rubs her back in hopes of soothing whatever it is that’s hurting her, and Marinette feels the warmth of his touch even through her shirt. His chin settles on top of her hair, ignoring the twitch of his nose when a few strands dare to tickle him.

“Just let me know if you want me to stop.” One of his hands reaches up to remove her hair ties and combs through her soft and dark hair.

“This is fine… s’nice.”

He doesn’t look down enough to know if whether or not her eyes are slowly closing, but he tries his best to continue soothing her. Before she succumbs to sleep, he hears her whisper something to his wrinkled shirt.

“You’re enough.… you’re all I need.”

He closes his eyes and joins her soon after into the land of dreams.

Sometime later, he maybe sees through the smallest gap a bright light from down below and hears hushed voices, but ignores it in preference to the small body finding comfort with him.

They are warm and content and alright for the moment.

Luka would probably chastise her for thinking that she’s used to overworking herself (again), but Marinette just wants to tell herself that living through another day of dragging herself physically, emotionally, and mentally is a norm and that there are, in fact, worse days to come. Like today.

She likes Kagami. She really like Kagami. She really does, but it still catches her off-guard to see her and Adrien together. Dating.

Which is what she has to witness after school.

Which is why she calls Luka right after, asking him to come find her because as much as she loves Alya, she wouldn’t always understand her. Not the way Luka does.

Which is why she’s looking at nothing and nowhere and no one, holding Luka’s hand to keep her grounded as her mind goes to everything and everywhere and everyone.

Which is why they’re both content to just listen to the sound of Paris as they sit on a bench, watching the sunset as it paints the sky in pink and orange.

She’s liked Adrien for a long time so, it’s only fair that she takes her time with getting over him. Right?

She needs a lot of time to accept the fact that Adrien might will never look at her the way he looks at Kagami. It still hurts to acknowledge that she never stood a chance in the first place. Not even close. Not in the slightest.

She wasted so many hours pining over someone who was too enraptured with someone who is more on par with them.

She poured almost her entire heart out to someone who never even held his hand out to catch her.

She cried for nights over someone who never thought that her nightmares happened before she falls asleep. Nightmares that were filled of high expectations, too many hopes, and what ifs.

She cherished memories with someone who might not even remember a single detail, long lost within the depths of his mind. But not hers. Never hers.

After all, what is bashful and soft pink when you can have vibrant and fiery red?

Perhaps she wasn’t good enough.

Marinette loses herself in her realizations, but the feeling of Luka’s hand in hers is all it takes to reel her back into the land of the grounded. All it takes is a smile from him to stop that small and pathetic voice inside her head from corrupting her thoughts even more, tainting how she sees the world.

“You good, Marinette?” He asks, and she feels his thumb brush against the back of her hand.

“Yeah.”

“Let me know if you want to go somewhere else, or if you want to go home. I’ll take you there, wherever it is.” He smiles a little wider, and she can’t help but smile back.

“That would be wonderful, Luka. Thanks.”

She looks down at their intertwined fingers and a different voice (which strangely sounds like Tikki) tells her that, surely, there was nothing wrong if she just focused on this instead? To just hold his hand and make it into a new memory to replace counter the pain of the past?

Her eyes stray away from their hands and lose themselves again into the horizon, only this time, she has Luka to guide her thoughts into something better. Something that has him in them, hopefully.

“But you’re enough… you’re all I need right now.”

They are warm and content and alright for the moment.

That night’s dream becomes interesting. Previously, she’d have an array of nightmares due to a lot of things – akumas, commissions, schoolwork, being class representative, Lila, Adrien – so, imagine her surprise when Luka is the one haunting her dreams this time. Is this an omen, she asks herself, of whether or not Luka would someday betray her? Hate her? Leave her? Forget about her?

Guilt hits her when all these treacherous questions dare define Luka’s presence in her dream. Why would she think the worst of him when all she’s felt when her eyes were closed were warmth?

Luka felt like home in her dreams, as if he belongs there.

“You good, Marinette?” Tikki asks her after noticing the lack of sweat and worry on her holder’s brow. A new and strange sight compared to what she’s seen in the past.

“I guess.” She lays back down and makes herself comfortable again, making sure to not jostle her kwami from her perch on the pillow.

“Was it another nightmare?”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Was it a good one, then?”

“You could say that.”

She kisses Tikki on the spot on her head and closes her eyes to sleep. Unaware of the attention on her, Tikki smiles a little as she makes a guess on what Marinette’s dream could’ve been about. On who it could’ve been about.

Perhaps things are getting better for her precious Ladybug, and hopefully stays that way.

They are warm and content and alright for the moment.

Chapter Text

She dreams of Luka again the next night. And another night. And another night. And another night. And another night.

Something as recurrent as this should scare her. But instead, all Marinette feels and thinks is that it’s not so bad to have dreams of Luka smiling at her.

When she sees the stretch of his lips, the slight flush of pink across his cheeks when he looks straight into her eyes, the stray strands of baby hair tickling the top of his forehead, the way his lashes flutter as he blinks, how his nose twitches just so…

The images she has seen in her dream calls to her like a memory, and just looking back at them makes her heart beat a little faster, even if she hasn’t done any running. It makes her face flush a little, even if she’s not too hot under her warm blanket. It makes her eyes water a little, even if she’s not feeling sad. It makes her smile more than a little, even if it’s just a dream about him. It makes her hands tremble a little, even if she’s not scared at all.

She doesn’t remember all the other details, except for his face; except for him smiling at her. she doesn’t mind it, though, because dreams are supposed to make you feel good, and her dreams of Luka are definitely the good ones.

It’s another day of living a not so normal life, and classes have just ended. For the most part, Marinette tries to avoid seeing Kagami and Adrien together, because it still hurts. She’s still not ready to act unbothered while insisting she’s happy for them. Instead, she spends her free time staying close to Alya and Nino as they talk on the way out, while Adrien hurriedly leaves for his fencing class.

For some unknown reason, she can’t help but look around for something, or for someone. Alya and Nino, who are too engrossed in their discussion on how to spend their time together while babysitting their younger siblings, fail to realize that Marinette has strayed away a little from them.

She looks around from the top of the stairs for something; for someone. Her grip tightens against her bag straps as her head turns from side to side. From the safety of her purse, Tikki peeks up at her holder, who’s currently standing on the balls of her feet. The kwami has an idea on what’s going on, but refuses to say anything on the matter. Instead, she chooses to look around for herself from her perch.

Marinette finally spots him before Tikki does (not that she knows her kwami was looking, as well). She settles her heel back down on the ground and does her best to resist waving her arm up in the air to catch his attention. But as soon as she bites her lower lip and raises her arm a little, she realizes that there’s no need when Luka eventually spots her, smiles, waves at her (and she waves back, albeit shyly), and climbs up the flight of stairs to meet her.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Tikki stifles a giggle as she witnesses their awkward interaction, before hiding back inside the purse. This time, Marinette braves the decision to start the conversation.

“Are you here for Juleka?”

Even though it should be the most obvious answer, considering she’s in the same class and friends with his sister, Marinette can’t help but deflate a little at the disappointment; that he’s not actually here for her.

“On another day, I would be.” He takes hold of her lunch bag, and she’s too surprised to even resist, “I’m actually here for you today.”

Or perhaps not.

“O-oh…”

This time, Alya and Nino notice Luka’s presence and decides to join in on their conversation. Marinette doesn’t hear anything they say, as her mind goes blank and can only focus on the weight of Luka’s arm around her shoulders while he’s talking with Alya and Nino. It takes them a few minutes before the couple realize that Marinette is in good hands, and they leave her with Luka as they go on their way.

Luka and Marinette, on the other hand, remain on the top of the stairs as other students continue filing out of the building. He still has his arm around her shoulders, and he doesn’t seem on dropping them anytime soon. She doesn’t mind the contact and tries really hard to not lean too much into him and bask in his warmth.

“You good, Marinette?”

“Uhuh.” She looks up at him and can’t help but love how the bright afternoon sun’s shining down on his face, making him absolutely golden. Absolutely gorgeous. Absolutely mesmerizing. “What about Juleka?”

“I got her text, saying she’s going somewhere with Rose.” He leads her down the steps, “And even if she wasn’t, I’d still come and pick you up because I want to.”

She gives in and finally leans onto him, and he squeezes her shoulder as if he’s keeping her from moving away.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

They are warm and content and alright for the moment.

They spend the rest of the day in her room, and thankfully, no akuma has the decency (or the audacity) to disturb their peace. At the moment, Marinette has finally left behind the homework she’s finished, in exchange for a new design project.

To her joy, Luka doesn’t mind staying for this part. He tries his best with giving feedback on her progress, pointing out what colour looks nice or if something is missing. He sits cross-legged on the chaise, his shoes already discarded on the floor. He has a hand resting on his chin, his thumb and fore finger rubbing against its sides as he tilts his head from side to side, humming as he does so.

“So… what do you think?”

“I think… it looks great!” He crosses his arms, smiling wide and his eyes bright, looking directly at her.

“You sure?”

“Do you trust me?”

“O-of course, I do! I-it’s just… I’m having second thoughts about it.” She takes a seat beside him, releasing a deep sigh that has him putting an arm around her shoulders (again, but she still doesn’t mind the contact).

“Well, just make sure you take some breaks every now and then. Don’t overwork yourself like you keep doing – ,” he pinches her cheek when she pouts at his statement, “ – and just let your ideas flow. Once you have everything out of your system, then you can start cutting out – ” she pouts even more, even with him still pinching her, “ – all the things that don’t work or you don’t need.”

He cups both of her cheeks and she tries so hard not to blush so much but ends up with very pink and stinging cheeks. “You got that, baby girl?”

She blinks in surprise at his question, and Luka uses her reaction as an opportunity to brush his thumbs against her cheeks. Normally, Marinette would blush at this sort intimacy form Luka, but her mind is too distracted to allow her to feel embarrassed.

“W…what did you just call me?”

He chuckles at her words and leans closer.

“Did I lose you there, baby girl?” He’s not so subtle at trying to keep the laughter in, considering how much his smile is straining against his cheeks and his hands tremble a little against her skin.

“Baby…girl? Wha – ”

“If you don’t like it, just tell me. I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable, so – ”

“I-it’s okay. I kinda…like it.” She doesn’t shake off his hold on her face, but her eyes fall to the ground. She bites her lip, and he can’t help but think that she’s just adorable.

“Alright, baby girl.” He watches how the colour red paints her cheeks beautifully. “But I’ll only call you that when we’re alone or you feel comfortable enough to be called it.”

“That sounds nice.” Her eyes find his again, but this time she relishes how light she feels when she loses herself in their colour. She loses herself like a balloon freely floating, and she doesn’t mind the drift so long as it’s with him.

Standing in her room, his hands holding onto her face like glass, and looking into her softly makes her feel warm and content and alright for the moment.

Luka goes home at some point, but they spend the rest of the night draining their phones’ batteries talking to each other until they fall asleep. This happens the next night, and the night after that, and the night after that, and the night after that. It becomes something regular on most nights, and Marinette regrets those few ones when akumas make their appearance, disrupting the routine she has with Luka. And in the mornings after those awful nights, she makes sure to text him a greeting and apology, and he never fails to say that it’s fine; that it’s all okay and he understands.

And on those nights that she feels joy with a sprinkle of excitement before, during, and after their calls, she knows she must be smiling even before she starts dreaming of Luka again. Every time he offers his hand, she takes hold of it. She makes sure to hold onto him tightly (though it’s unclear whether she actually does or not while dreaming) as he pulls her away to wherever and somewhere. She tries to count every callous she feels on his hand, and it makes everything feel so real. She watches how his hair bounces on every step or leap they take. She notices the lack of stiffness around his shoulders, and somehow, she’s proud that she’s someone he can be relaxed and vulnerable with. She splays out her other arm to feel the air around them, and she’s quite sure she feels something soft. She takes a whiff of her surroundings, and she’s quite sure it’s Luka who she smells like a breath of fresh air.

She has another one of those dreams with Luka, where she takes his hand and runs away to wherever and somewhere, and Marinette sits up to remember him her dream.

She looks at Tikki, who she finds is sleeping peacefully, and closes her eyes to relish whatever new moment they must’ve done in the dream. She clenches her hand against her soft blanket and imagines that she’s back to holding his hand. She breathes in and imagines she can still smell his shampoo. She listens to the sound of a silent and sleeping Paris and imagines that she can still hear him talk to her. she tilts her head from side to side and imagines that she’s back to that floaty feeling she gets whenever they’re close to each other.

Something warm grows in her chest; in her heart and it feels exciting. It grows and grows like a flower under sunlight and water and care.

Marinette opens her eyes, and they are wide in part fear and part confusion. She puts a hand to her chest to feel the fast beating of her heart, and her face warms up even when her hands are now cold and clammy.

This must be love, but not the same way how it used to be or still lingers with Adrien. And for some reason, she likes the feeling of it. She really, really likes this feeling, which is something she hasn’t felt in a while, even with Adrien. Her face feels warmer than ever and she’s probably on the verge of crying, so much so that not even the bite on her lip doesn’t stop her from smiling so wide and –

‘He’ll just get tired of waiting for you. He’ll just get tired of you.’

Something awful grows in her chest; in her heart and it aches. It wilts and wilts like a flower without the sunlight and water and care.