Chapter Text
So it’s come to this.
Buck feels the light coming from behind him through his closed eyelids; mud and leaves and rocks below his knees; icy steel binding his wrists; his chest aching with every breath.
This is where I end. He listens to the silence that engulfs him and opens his eyes.
⇜⇜⇜
It had been a rainy Sunday morning when Eddie Diaz disappeared without a trace. Or maybe with too many traces. Buck knows Eddie had tried to leave some clues behind, crumbs, like Hansel and Gretel, but whoever had taken him, made a mess of everything, dispersing the evidence to the wind.
The police are as helpful as they can be, with Athena pulling every contact she has and pushing them to comply. The problem is there’s no ransom, no proof of life, no explanation behind the kidnapping, and Buck is sent on a loop.
Christopher is heartbroken and Buck made promises he doesn’t know if he will be able to keep.
Promises to stay away from danger.
Promises to not interfere.
Promises.
Vain promises.
⇝⇝⇝
A voice comes from behind Buck, but he can barely hear it.
“Buckley?”
That voice. Locate it. Pay attention.
The voice is inquiring. And Buck doesn’t understand: why the question, the interrogation. It’s him. Of course, it’s him. Who else could he be?
⇜⇜⇜
Time flies by. Chris keeps asking about Eddie and when he will be coming back to them. Buck is running out of things to say.
Then one night, one exceptionally difficult night, Christopher asks one more time. Isabel looks at Buck with pleading eyes. It seems she’s out of answers too.
He takes a deep breath and pats Chris’ curls. He plants a kiss at the top of his head and whispers, “I’m going to do everything and anything in my power to bring him back, Chris, I promise.”
And this promise, this particular promise he intends to keep.
Two weeks have passed from Eddie’s kidnapping when Buck loses it. He lashes out at the whole team. Bobby stares at him; mouth gaping, voice caught in his throat, mute. There’s nothing he can say to calm Buck down and that’s a fact.
Bobby gives Buck a week off without it even being requested, and Buck only thanks him, grabs his stuff, and leaves the station without looking back.
⇝⇝⇝
Someone leans on him. There’s a hand on Buck’s shoulder and a whisper in his ear. “It’s ok. It’s almost over.”
Over, the word echoes in his mind. The air is frosty and refuses to enter Buck’s lungs. “Almost.” The pain as he breathes indicates a pair of fractured ribs, his face is intact and he might have a broken wrist.
“Are you still with us, Buckley?” There are so many questions being asked and Buck can’t answer them.
How frustrating will this get? “Come closer.”
⇜⇜⇜
There’s a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy and Buck decides to call him. He needs all the help he can get and if that means digging into his long-forgotten past, then so be it. After two weeks, the police are useless. Not even Athena trusts her coworkers to find Eddie.
So Buck calls his guy.
At first, he finds himself on a wild-goose chase that never seems to end. He wastes almost a week running around, getting nothing out of anyone. Athena calls him every night to check in. To check in on the progress of the hunt.
To check in on him.
His answer is always the same: “Athena, I’m trying.”
⇝⇝⇝
“I can’t,” the voice teases and a cackle escapes their mouth.
“No. You don’t want to.” Buck hurries himself not to beg and searches for a lie in the back of his mind. Please. Please. Come closer. Let me get to you. “Why are you laughing?”
“Because you still believe you are in control here.”
“And I’m not.”
“You are most definitely not.”
Silence again and Buck shivers at the sharpness of the cold air surrounding him. He pushes a little further. “This needs to stop now.”
“You don’t want that, Buckley.”
“Yeah,” he spits out, “I do.”
⇜⇜⇜
Their screaming match can be heard from outer space. Athena decides to follow a lead that Buck disregarded before. He knows she won’t get anywhere. His guy told him so. He gives up on trying to convince her to drop it after his voice is hoarse from yelling at the phone.
She wants him to go back home. But he will keep going while Christopher is safe with his family and friends.
He has a promise to keep.
There’s no sign of Eddie yet, but it feels like he’s getting closer.
There’s a shift in the air. Buck feels like there are guns pointed at his head constantly.
⇝⇝⇝
“No, you really, really don’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because it would be the end of the road.”
“I’d like it to be the end of the road,” Buck says playfully.
“Oh. No, no, Buckley. Don’t. You seriously don’t want that.” And the voice laughs maniacally at him.
Buck hears a muffled scream and he closes his eyes.
Air. Where on Earth has air gone to? His broken ribs and his swollen wrist start screaming at him. Pay attention. He shakes his head violently, almost growling, and his sweaty curls are sticking to his forehead.
“You are not the one in control here.”
“I know,” Buck says and it comes out sad and melancholic. “Believe me, I know.”
“So...”
⇜⇜⇜
A text message changes everything.
8 pm. Temescal Canyon Park. Come alone, Buckley.
⇝⇝⇝
“So...” The end of the road is here and Buck is planning to enjoy it. “Let him go. Take me instead. It’s me who you want.”
“Ah, so you know.” Surprised, the voice sounds surprised. Why?
“Yes, I know. It’s me who you want, not him.”
“Are you sure, then?”
Why do you keep asking questions? “Yes. Let him go.”
The voice is moving, but not closer, it’s going away and Buck’s heart rate rises and his superficial and painful breaths become even shallower.
“Do you- do you really believe I didn’t know?” Don’t touch him. “I swear, if you do something-“
“Cute. No, Buckley, I won’t touch him.” The voice is far away and sounds disgusted. A door creaks open.
⇜⇜⇜
The text and the location are certain confirmation that it was him and not Eddie that they wanted. It’s enough to drive Buck to move along with his plan. He takes the precaution to let Athena know he has a lead, but he chooses to refrain from giving her any details. He’s going to have to do this alone if he wants Eddie safe.
He calls the guy that knows another guy and gets ready for the worst.
⇝⇝⇝
“If you touch a hair on his head I will find a way to dismember your whole body. With my teeth,” Buck growls.
“We’ll see,” the voice replies.
No. Don’t. Please.
The door from where the muffled screams were coming slams shut and another voice starts screaming like crazy. “Don’t. Don’t. Please. Let go. Please. Stop this.”
Buck listens closely, he hears whispers and begging while someone is being dragged by his side.
This voice is one he recognizes. “Stop. Stop this. You don’t get to do this. Please. Please, stop,” Eddie pleads.
Buck turns his head and sees him: beaten and broken, tears clearing a path down his face through the dirt. It’s been days. Weeks, even. Have they fed him? Cleaned him? Beat him? Tortured him? The thought makes him sick.
“Please,” Eddie’s last words before his knees are forced to hit the floor. Buck gets to see his image with precision: blood over his face mixed with tears and dirt, bruises covering almost every inch of exposed skin. His neck has deep cuts and seems to be very swollen.
Eddie looks at him, smiles painfully, and winks. The gesture is so simple and full of meaning that Buck’s heart stops for a second. He stares at him. Hours turned to minutes turned to seconds turned to milliseconds turned to nothing. He smiles.
⇜⇜⇜
The scenarios that run through Buck’s mind vary in degrees of horribleness and desperation. From finding Eddie’s body on the side of the road to finding Eddie unscathed and just all being a big misunderstanding. Right, as if these guys are going to just laugh it off.
He packs a bag and throws it in the back of his Jeep. Gun ready in its holster and phone plugged and charging, he ventures on the road to the rendezvous point at the park in West Los Angeles.
⇝⇝⇝
“They are...” Buck starts to talk. He wants to reassure Eddie. He wants to make everything better. He wants to let him know that-
Bang.
Interruption. He hears the shot coming from behind them. From light, from death, from everything that’s wrong in the world.
Eddie still smiles as the bullet pierces through him.
Buck’s eyes trail a path along his body, searching, making a list. Not the head. Not the heart. Not a limb. Not the neck. Not anything. But where? Hours turned to minutes turned to seconds turned to milliseconds turned to… blood.
Eddie still smiles as his body touches the floor.
The fall is slow and terrible and heart-wrenching and bloody. Buck throws his body to cover Eddie. From what, he doesn’t know. The bullet already left its trail and the blood is already pouring out in huge red waves.
⇜⇜⇜
The ride is silent and overwhelming. Images of all of the what-ifs play on a loop in his mind. He drives without a care in the world. He’s an automaton. The circumstances surrounding whatever is about to go down don’t matter to him. Nothing matters to him anymore. He only needs to get from point A to point B.
Eddie, I’m on my way.
Eddie is his destination.
⇝⇝⇝
The engines sound near.
Help.
On. Its. Way.
“That was just a taste, Buckley,” the voice whispers near Buck’s ear. A hand presses on his broken ribs, deeply, with precision, and then vanishes.
White noise, white light, white. White. Buck shakes and shakes; head, body, wrists.
Far away, very far away, but very close, very, very close, sirens and shots and-
Bang bang bang bang bang. Explosions and lights. Blue and white and red and fire. Explosion and-
Buck is trembling against Eddie’s body, silent and cold.
No light, no life, no death, no mind, no body. No more blood.
A car stops beside them, body against body. Eddie goes lax, trembling underneath Buck; tears on his face and blood over his shirt. What should I do? What was I supposed to do? Both bodies lie next to each other, shaking. One saying goodbye, the other not letting go. My hands are tied. Hold on. Please.
Two hands are picking him up and Buck sits on his heels, head hanging low, chin grazing his chest, eyes firmly shut to avoid seeing the tears, the dirt-
The blood.
⇜⇜⇜
Buck parks his jeep by the entrance to the park. Someone taps his window with the barrel of a gun three times. He can’t see the face behind the glass, but he recognizes the gesture. He unlocks the door and they open it from the outside for him while he puts his hands up in the air.
Take it easy, Buckley. One step at a time.
His feet touch the ground and he’s led away from his Jeep.
A gun cocks by his side and Buck attempts to grab his own. They have him on his knees before he can make half a movement. His gun is taken away from him while his wrists are tied behind his back. Buck counts how many men are around him. One, three, five.
The first blow goes to his ribcage and Buck lands face-first onto the cold, damp dirt. He’s been kicked like this before. He knows everything that is coming next.
They grab him by the curls and lift him until they have him kneeling again. Buck still doesn’t know what they want from him, but he’ll do whatever it takes to get Eddie back.
The kicks keep coming. He will surrender his own life for Eddie in the blink of an eye. He keeps falling to the ground and being lifted in an unending repetition of kicks and punches.
An engine roars behind him.
Buck closes his eyes and braces for the darkness to come.
⇝⇝⇝
“It’s okay. Hey. Hey. Listen to me. It’s going to be ok. I’m here, Buck. I’m here.”
Oh. Athena. Athena is here. Listen to that, Eddie? She’s here. We’re safe now.
“He has to be okay and he- he has to go back home. With me. With us. But- but he was so- they did that to him,” he gasps, his ribs screaming in pain. “And I wasn’t there, again. I was never there. And he was here- in the end. He was here,” Buck looks up to Bobby, “with me.”
Athena tries to get Buck’s wrists loose. She attempts to soothe him while he keeps up the fight in him, he wiggles in her arms. He fights her embrace and his restraints. He fights to keep his eyes on Eddie and he fights to stay there, his mind present in this moment.
“He smiled and winked at me. He winked. He knew. He- knew. And I- I didn’t, ‘Thena. I didn’t. So he has to go back home and then- He needs to- come back to me. And then- then-” A strangled gasp escapes Buck. “Then.”
But Eddie’s dead.
And that’s the end of the road.