Work Text:
"Hey Spidey!"
"What?" Peter asked. God, it was Deadpool again. This guy was obsessed with him lately. Like, almost every night Peter for the past two weeks had had to listen to the stupid chatter of a lunatic in spandex. Ok, maybe he couldn't exactly judge on the spandex part, but aren't mercenaries supposed to have military clothes and Kevlar jackets or something?
"How is your night going? Captured a lot of bad guys? Anything strange happened?" and besides, how did Deadpool manage to always get on top of every rooftop Peter happened to be on? New York kind of had a lot of rooftops after all.
"Why are you so interested?" Peter asked.
"Jeez, no need to get so defensive! I just wanted to know how is my favorite super spider doing." Peter raised an eyebrow. Though it was probably lost behind the mask.
"You do realize I should probably tie you up and leave you to the authorities?"
"Kinky, Spidey, aren't you? I have to admit I kind of have a thing for bondage; I didn't peg you for the type but after all it makes sense-" Peter tuned him out. Just as he was about to leave, he noticed that one of the sleeves of Deadpool's costume was torn and most of his arm was showing through. Peter squinted his eyes.
"Y'know, I think you should see a doctor," he said.
"Really? Well, actually that kind of role play is something I'm not really into, I mean sexy nurses and all that stuff, I'm more of a military uniform kind of guy."
"No, not that- I meant, you should probably have a doctor take a look at your arm, doesn't it like hurt?" Deadpool blinked (how did he manage to look so fucking expressive with that mask on?) before gazing down at the patchwork of scars and scabs that was his right arm.
"Oh, that! Thanks Sipdey, I knew you cared~." Peter just stared at him "Anyway, it's fine really, it's always like that. Actually, can you do me a favor?"
"What kind of favor?" Peter asked, taking mental note of asking some other superhero if they knew what this deal with Deadpool's skin was.
"Can you blow?" Peter's felt his cheeks go hot.
"W-What the hell?" Deadpool laughed.
"No, not like that, you naughty boy! Can you like, hook your mask up a little and blow some hair?"
"Why?" Peter got defensive, not liking this guy's request to 'hook his mask up'.
"Can you please blow some hair on my arm, like this" Deadpool moved the mask so that his mouth was visible, together with even nastier looking scars, and blew over his forearm as demonstration "Only on my elbow?" he twisted his arm, to show a rather gruesome scab.
"No" Peter deadpanned, a bit disturbed by the sight, and left.
Peter was going home, feeling like he was about to fall asleep. Maybe he should try one day, sleeping while attached to a web. It was about four in the morning, he had just battled a random super villain after having tried to track him down for the better part of two weeks, he was covered in bruises and he was sure tomorrow morning his everything would be sore. And he had a test he hadn't studied for in about five hours or so. Maybe he should pretend to be sick and hope Aunt May didn't see right through it.
Peter groaned as a familiar red shape waved at him from the top of a building. He so didn't want to deal with Deadpool now, but it was too late to change route.
"Not tonight Deadpool."
"Just call me Wade, dearie," Deadpool sing sang in that annoying voice of his.
"Ok, Wade, I'm tired and sore and I want to get home."
"He just called me Wade~" he squeaked, clapping his hands together "Spiderman called me Wade with his cool, heroic voice!"
"You know what? Fuck off." Peter jumped and manage to avoid Deadpool, who just launched himself at him and seemed to be trying to hug him. "The hell dude?"
"C'mon Spidey, let me hug you! You're sooo cute!"
"Am not," Peter said, blushing slightly under the mask. "Now let me go, I'm too tired for your bullshit."
"...Spideyyy." Deadpool tilted his head and Peter just knew he was about to pull out one of his weird, moronic ideas. "If I pull down my pants, can you blow some air on my butt? It's not as great as yours, but it's still one hell of a butt."
"Fuck no!" Peter screamed, jumping off of the building and swinging home as fast as he could. What the fuck was wrong with that guy?
Peter was swinging around when his spider sense told him to dodge. He dodged and saw a familiar red and black shape falling down a couple meters from him. He cursed and shoot a web to stop Deadpool's fall. The mercenary started singing something, legs and arms dangling down while Peter dragged him up. He could hear people screaming down on the road.
"Did I ever tell you how much of a moron you ar- Uhnf!" Peter's back connected with the brick wall of a building. He stuck to hit with his feet in a rather awkward position and picked Deadpool up.
"Hi there," Deadpool said as he found himself basically in Peter's lap. Peter blushed. How was it that whenever Wade Wilson was around he blushed?
"What were you doing, you fucking moron?" Peter asked.
"I just wanted to say hi." Deadpool wrapped his arms around Peter's neck and leaned his head on Peter's shoulder, sighing. Pete cleared his throat.
"Did you... Did you jump off of a building to greet me? Hold on, let me take us up." Peter wriggled around, trying to get to face the wall while not making Wade fall off.
"I knew you'd catch me before I fell, you're so brave and heroic and rightful and all that cool stuff~ And if you didn't, I could have set a new personal record for healing time after falling from a building. You know one time it took me less than an hour to heal after jumping off of a skyscraper? But it was a short skyscraper. You know, we should get in this position more often." Deadpool moved his hips, making Peter really aware of where the merc's crotch was. Awkward. He accelerated.
"You're the biggest idiot I ever met," Peter mumbled.
"You have a special place in my heart too." Peter snorted and climbed over the rooftop.
"You can get off now," Peter said.
"Here? Where everyone could see?"
"Not in that sense and you know it." Deadpool huffed and let go of Peter's back.
"Party pooper." Deadpool twisted his neck, trying to see his back. Ha pointed at the web still hanging there "How long does that last?"
"Not much. Give it a while, it will- WADE!" Deadpool was taking off the upper part of his costume. Not like he didn't have some damn nice abs under those scars, but that was not the point.
"I don't want to risk to lose this, this is the web you caught me with, I'll hold on to this all of my fucking life," Deadpool said, as he carefully folded the spandex.
"It... It won't possibly last all of your life," Peter muttered, equal parts irritated and embarrassed. And the tiniest bit flattered. And for the love of God, Parker, stop staring at his chest!
"Then I'll have to jump from buildings more often when you're around!" Deadpool paused "Hey Spiderman? Itsy bitsy spider? Best Superhero Butt of the Year? Baby boy? Lovely arachnid currently fascinated with my abs?"
"What is it?" Peter blushed furiously under the mask.
"So you were fascinated with my abs," Wade stated. Peter was sure his cheeks were steaming under the mask. "Look, I just wanted to ask you... Could you please blow on my shoulder blades? Pleeeease?" before Peter could answer, he heard a scream. Looking down, he saw people running away in fear from something he couldn't see, hidden behind another building.
"I'd really need to go." Deadpool gave Peter thumbs up and a spandex covered smile; and Peter swinged away.
Halfway through the fight with a strange, mutated, uh, bear maybe, Deadpool appeared and helped him stop the thing. Always topless. Peter heard someone say Wade's chest was horrible with all the scars, and he immediately wanted to punch this person in the face.
"Come here often baby?" Peter looked up. He was sitting on the edge of a rooftop, the night a really calm and uneventful one. Wade sat next to him, handing him something that looked like take away. "Hungry?"
Peter looked inside the bag. Burritos. His mouth watered. "You have no idea. Thanks for the food." he hooked up his mask and almost moaned when he bit down the food. Next to him, Wade started eating his food and talking about how he had finally bought a Nintendo 3DS and how cool it was. Peter occasionally replied, but mostly let him say whatever he wanted. It was relaxing in a way.
Despite the many totally inappropriate comments, Wade's company was actually really nice. Peter turned to look him as he spoke. After a while, the man took off a glove and stopped talking for a moment to blow air on the back of his hand. Peter frowned.
"What is it with you and blowing air on various parts of your body?" he asked.
"When you put it like that you make it sound kinky," Wade said giggling "It's just... You see, the scabs sometimes itch real bad, but if I scratch them I end up opening a new wound, which heals in five seconds but it kind of defeats the point. But I found out, if I blow air on the itchy part it itches a bit less." Peter suddenly felt guilty. The elbow, the shoulder blades, even the butt, were all places where a person couldn't reach with his face. He grabbed Wade's hand and blew over it. The merc stayed silent for a moment, before uttering a small 'thank you' with a voice that made Peter feel like a total asshole for having just ignored Wade before.
"No problem. Glad to help," Peter said awkwardly. He decided to finish his food. Wade stayed quiet, just munching on his own burrito.
"Spidey," he said hesitantly.
"Mh?"
"Would you mind blowing some air on my face?"
"No problem," Peter answered, swallowing down his food. Wade slowly took off his mask, turning away like he didn't really want Peter to see him.
"Here." he pointed at his temple, were Peter could see some really nasty scars. He blew gently over it and heard Wade sigh.
"Anywhere else?" he asked. Wade just pointed at a spot on his head and one on his jaw.
"Thanks," he murmured after Peter had finished, pulling his mask back on his face as quickly as he could. Peter's heart broke a bit seeing Wade so ashamed of himself.
"That's what friends are for, aren't they?" Wade stared, and Peter could swear he could hear his brain trying to process the fact that someone had just called himself his friend. It wasn't a nice feeling. Then Wade grinned, threw an arm over Peter's shoulder and went back to talking. Peter smiled and supposed he was allowed to rest his head on Wade's shoulder. If the merc asked, it was because it was cold and he was warm. He didn't ask, but his hand started stroking Peter's forearm. It was nice.