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It all started when a red-haired ran through the 1-A Agency and jumped on Bakugou Katsuki aka Ground Zero.
Now this was an unprecedented feat, something that had never been attempted for the sheer fear of his wrath. This boy- no wait, it's a man- what the hell he’s a grown man and he’s jumping on Bakugou Katsuki’s back . It was certain now, this man had a death wish.
So, as expected, with the killer reflexes that Ground Zero had, this man was immediately blasted as soon as he had gotten a finger on him. What was not expected was the fact that the man was still on Bakugou’s back and- holy shit he’s mad. He’s laughing his head off while clinging onto a literal bomb.
The said literal bomb craned his head back to take a look at the person who had not only survived the explosion, climbed onto his back, and started laughing his head off to find the pro hero (who incidentally had gone to Shiketsu not U.A.) Red Riot.
Instead of blowing his head off, Bakugou’s face softened and he asked something that even the agency pin drop quiet as it was ( because seriously, this was so bizarre ) could not hear.
Then the lunatic- no Red riot who is absolutely not a lunatic because that would be bad for the future of Japan if it’s number 6 hero was crazy - showed Katsuki something on his phone and for the first time in probably his entire life Bakugou smiled .
At this point Midoriya was down for the count, insane mutterings coming out of his mouth while he curled into a fetal position. Uravity was also down- or rather up as she had accidentally activated her quirk due to shock and was still up there. Iida looked like he wanted to scold Bakugou and was swinging his arm furiously but no sound came out of his mouth, probably because there was nothing to chide him for. Kaminari looked like he short-circuited if the blank stare and insulated blanket were anything to go by. The rest of the class were in various states of disbelief, fear, and shock.
But that wasn't the end of their suffering because this . . . magician? . . . miracle worker? . . . Bakugou Whisperer? . . . was now hugging Katsuki- and he was hugging back with that goddamned smile on his face .
Then Bakugou grabbed Bakugou Whisperer's arm and ran out of the building with him.
I shall now sit down and wonder how soon the end of the world is.
With Bakugou and Kirishima who were utterly oblivious to the plights of Class-1A
“I can’t believe we actually met our goal.” Kirishima exclaimed, running as fast as he could toward the most high key jeweler in Japan who happened to be situated down the street from Class-1A’s agency.
Bakugou turned and grinned at him.
“Of course we did, Shitty Hair, I told you we would and I am never wrong.”
“I know you said we would,” Kirishima reiterated, “ But it didn’t seem real. Face it Katsuki, reaching 30,000,000 dollars seemed impossible. I mean it’s an absurd amount of money.” His face turned softer than it already was, “But now we can finally buy that penthouse, furnish it, and more importantly get the rings and chains.”
For a while now Bakugou Katsuki and Kirishima Eijirou had been happily married. They had used substitute rings during the wedding ceremony and they had since been saving up to a great many expensive things all at once because Bakugou was an all or nothing kind of guy.
If they were going high class then they were going high class. Their enormous paychecks made this a little easier.
They finally made it to the jeweler’s store after a few more blissfully happy bickering which the author does not want to write because they're very lazy.
When they were finally admitted in, because this is a very high-class establishment and they had security checks and clearances and other time wasting procedures . One of the boys vibrated badly and contained excitement and the other barely contained rage.
When they finally went inside they picked up two chains made of Tungsten and two bands made of pure, unadulterated diamonds. They glimmered and shined with an unearthly beauty. Kirishima gently took one of the chains and rings and gently fastened the chain around his neck and then slid the ring onto Bakugou’s ring finger. Bakugou took his cue and did the same thing to Kirishima.
They sealed it with a kiss full of the love and triumph that resulted from the careful culmination of their plans.
The end.
Just Kidding, we’re now going to visit Class 1-A as the relationship is revealed .
When they finally made it back several hours later, after doing some . . . unholy things, covered poorly hidden hickeys they were grinning (yes even Bakugou, and yes it terrified everyone who came on contact with them ) and beelined straight to the Bakusquad who were best buds with Kirishima but had never introduced them because , as Kaminri said “The angel of sunshine should never meet King Explosion Murder whose vocabulary consists of FUCK, SHIT, FUCK YOU, and his personal favorite DIE . No,” He shakes his head in an attempt to look resigned and wise. (Yes, it was a complete and utter fail)
Kirishima and Bakugou held up their hands which held their rings and beamed at them. Bakugou blushed and if this had been any other situation the Bakusquad would coo over it but they were focused on the rings .
It was when Kaminari finally spoke up.
“You guys . . .” he tried weakly growing more and more pale by the minute while Sero comforted a hyperventilating Mina, “You guys got married?!?!?!?” Kaminari asked, looking as if he was going to pass out and the rest of the class weren’t much better off.
At this Bakugou scowled inquisitively at them.
“Get with the program extras, we’ve been married for two years, we just got our rings. It took a long time for the jewelers to make them, because these are fucking amazing .”
“And we reached our goal of 30,000,000 so now we can get that penthouse that we’ve been after and finally move in together.”
Kaminari swayed and Kirishima reached out and steady him worriedly.
“Dude, are you okay? You forgot our marriage and that we were waiting to get these rings. What’s the matter?”
Midoriya let out a choked noise that disrupted the flow of his mutterings and slowly looked up with the eyes of a haunted man.
“Kaachan . . . Kacchan got married, and I wasn’t there?” At this the couple looked vaguely unnerved.
“No deku, you weren’t invited.” Bakugou growled out, his eyebrow twitching.
“Don’t worry Midoriya, it was very small, only an immediate family and All Might.” Kirishima hurried to say because Midoriya looked broken and Kirishima being the kind hearted soul he was couldn’t stand to see it no matter how satisfied Bakugou looked.
“All might know and he didn’t tell me? ” he asked and Kirishima got the feeling that he had made everything worse because of the disturbingly happy expression that Bakugou was developing. He made a last ditch effort to steer the conversion to safer waters.
But Bakugou looked around and saw the faces of his classmates and you could practically see the moment when he realised that nobody knew of his marriage.
People swore that their ears had never been the same after Bakugou released what had to be the loudest DIE YOU FUCKING EXTRAS in history.
The end
“But seriously, nobody knew?” Kirishima asked for the tenth time as the class nodded in various stages of trauma.
“Nobody?!?!?”