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Don’t cry to me, if you loved me
You would be here with me
You want me, come find me
Make up your mind
You never call me when you’re sober.
Morgan reeked of regret and desperation because every single time Poppy gets drunk she ended up on her bed. It’s a routine they both despised and it went on for months, Morgan wanted more than these drunken nights they both can hardly remember, she wanted something concrete, she wanted Poppy and Poppy wants nothing to do with her when she’s sober. Poppy hated how she keeps coming back to Morgan, she wanted no strings attached and when Morgan tries to talk about them she fucks her thoughts away.
“I’ve had enough of this, Pop. I can’t handle this anymore.” She finally explodes when she opens her door in the middle of the night and Poppy stood swaying outside completely wasted. She hated that she’s just another notch on Poppy’s bedpost, another plaything. She always feared for the moment when Poppy would get tired of her and just discard her, she couldn’t live with that so she decided to quit while she’s ahead. She hated her destructive behavior, drinking her feelings away and she tried so hard to be the right person for her but she’s pulling away each time.
“Fine, your loss.” She sways slightly in place, losing her balance when she turns around, Morgan catches her elbows. It’s a miracle how she made it to Morgan’s dorm in one piece. She sighs and pulls her inside, she can’t just leave her in this state so lets her sleep it off, leaving painkillers and water beside her bed for when she wakes up. In the morning, as usual there’s no trace of her but the lingering smell of her perfume.
They don’t see each other for weeks, Morgan resisted the urge to come find her no matter how much she missed her. She went through the pain of a break up and they’re never even together.
She wasn’t in the mood for this party but she went anyway because V told her she’s expected to be there. She downs another shot of whatever mix of liquor the frat boys put together, it burned in her throat but it didn’t matter as long as she could drown her feelings away.
She’s maybe on her fifth or was it sixth? When she saw Morgan kissing several girls from the party, no doubt a drunken bet from Ford to see who’s the better kisser, she overheard that fact earlier. She hated the jealousy that bloomed white hot in her chest.
She’s got a little too much to drink and no matter how much she dissuaded herself she couldn’t bring herself to stop. It drowned the pain and bitterness she felt. She didn’t know what came over her, she felt detached from everything and she slurs “Fuck you Morgan!” She was swaying as she walked towards her, she grabs her hands and pulls her away before she captures another girl’s lips in hers.
Morgan didn’t know where Poppy was taking her. Poppy was a little too drunk to care for her protests so she just allowed herself to be dragged away.
She stopped at the door of Morgan’s dorm room and she stops, unthinkingly reaching over and feels for the keys in Morgan’s pockets, fumbling with the lock..
When they’re inside she finally has a chance to take her in, seeing her wasted, and swaying on her feet, the usual. She falls forward, she could barely make it in time to catch her, but she thankfully did. She felt her shirt become damp as Poppy cried on her shoulder. She stiffens in response; she doesn’t know what to do. No classes covered what to do when your former fuck buddy drags you away at 3 am and cries on your shoulder.
Poppy smelled like a brewery, but a trace of her intoxicating perfume wafts over her and she was slurring unintelligible words under her breath. What she felt was a pang of regret, Poppy looked so small and so vulnerable, her heart squeezes a little. What was she supposed to do now? Her self-proclaimed enemy is draped over her, holding her like a lifeline and wouldn’t let go.
“Poppy what are you doing?” Morgan asked her, unable to keep her confusion at bay. A part of her was waiting for her explosive anger not this sniffling drunk mess. She hesitantly wraps her arms around her, standing in the middle of her dark living room.
“I hate you.” Poppy answered, barely audible but it stings her a lot.
“I know.” Morgan was surprised when she crumples a fistful of her shirt and pulls her down into a kiss. She automatically responded to her kiss, it felt like second nature to her. Poppy still tasted sweet underneath the overwhelming taste of alcohol. As much as she wanted to be lost in her, she pulls away.
“You’re drunk, you’ll regret this in the morning, you always do.”
“I don’t care.” She comes closer, her eyes glazed over. Morgan wondered if she really sees her.
“Well I do. I’m so fucking tired Pop, you cling to me, then in the morning you pretend you don’t know me. We can’t keep doing this, it’s not healthy. I want you and what we were doing before just doesn’t cut it anymore” She still has a soft spot for Poppy and before, she might have jumped on a chance to be with her in whatever form she offered, she just can’t do it anymore. “Come on, you can sleep it off here.” She sighs and pulls her to the bathroom, giving her some of her clothes to sleep in. She comes out a little more sober, looking softly at Morgan and sat primly on her bed.
“I didn’t mean what I said, I could never hate you and believe me I tried.” Poppy whispers into the silent room.
“I know.” Maybe Poppy’s a little more drunk than she thought she was if she admitted this to her, it’s practically a declaration of love coming from her.
“That’s what people expected me to do, I never really mean what I say about you. I think I li-” She prattles on and quickly stops herself, coming to her senses.
“You what?”
“Never mind, thanks for letting me stay over.” Poppy quickly changes the subject before her slip-up becomes an issue.
“It’s fine, you take the bed, I’ll sleep outside in the couch.”
“Don’t be stupid, your bed is big enough for us. Stay.” The last part came out as a throaty whisper.
She smiles and takes the left side of the bed, Poppy’s back was facing her, she closes her eyes, praying for sleep to come quick. She feels Poppy shift, minutes later, rustling the sheets before coming closer to her and draping herself across her body.
She shivers involuntary when Poppy’s fingers softly traced her cheeks and leaning closer to kiss the corner of her mouth, softly whispering something to her. She lies there motionless, too stunned to move. A moment later, she could feel Poppy’s breathing steady. She’s pinned under her, how could she fall asleep now?
Morgan wakes up around 9, the events of last night coming back to her. The clothes that she lent her were folded neatly at the foot of her bed and no sign of her. She felt stupid for making last night a big deal when Poppy clearly isn’t affected at all, she remembers Poppy’s soft voice whispering ‘I think I’m in love with you’ last night when she thought she was asleep. She’s sure it’s just ramblings of a drunk mind.
She goes out to the kitchen, she pauses when she catches sight of her sipping coffee at the counter, it’s not unwelcome but it’s the first time she stayed until morning. Poppy smiles at her when she notices her staring. “Good Morning. How about a breakfast date?”