Chapter Text
“Think you’ve got enough stuff?” Sugawara asked wedging the final box into the back of Asahi’s mom’s van. Asahi was retying his hair up from where it had escaped his hair tie, first looking embarrassed and then indignant.
“I’m moving Suga, I need to have things to live.”
“But do you really need things to live?” Suga quipped back wiping the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand and fixing a grin on Asahi.
“You’re sure you don’t want to come up with us?” His mom was driving with him up to Tokyo today to get all moved into his tiny apartment. Suga would complete that picture. It had made some sort of panicked end of high school sense to move in together. Asahi’s internship with the design firm was in the same part of town as Suga’s university. “Better than a random stranger.” Asahi had said and Suga had scowled back. “I thought we were friends, Asahi!”
“Do you really think you have room for all the things I need to live?” Suga asked back and Asahi grinned dopily back.
“I suppose not. We could make room though,” he said.
“No, it’s fine,” Suga brushed him off, “I’ve got stuff to do around here first,” he said the thought warming his face a little bit. Asahi gave him a look.
“Daichi stuff.”
“Not Daichi stuff,” Suga was quick to counter even if it was an outright lie, “Mom stuff. You know how she is, not ready to let her baby bird leave the nest yet. I’ll be up in two months. Give you some time to adjust,” Suga said remorseless in changing the subject. Asahi winced. “You’ll be fine by yourself, I believe in you Asahi. Pretend you’re the ace for a minute and seize your new life.”
“Suga,” Asahi complained his embarrassment increasing with the size of Suga’s smile. Suga patted him on the shoulder.
“It’ll be okay.”
“I wish you were coming with me.”
“I am. Eventually,” Suga assured him turning back to the van and closing the back doors. Asahi’s mom appeared on cue swinging her purse over her shoulder and beaming at Suga and Asahi.
“Got everything?”
“Yes ma’am,” Suga responded saluting her.
“Asahi, ready to go?” she asked.
“I guess,” Asahi answered. “Suga…”
“Go get ‘em, Ace,” Suga said slapping him on the shoulder one more time.
It wasn’t until the van had pulled out of the Azumanes’ driveway before Suga felt his smile slip, and the deep dread settle over him again.
Walking home he could only think how Asahi was gone, and that was the first step to him also being gone, to high school being behind them, the rest of their lives ahead. Which was at some level exciting but also terrifying. He thought again of the things his mother had told him about nursing school and wondered why he’d ever in his right mind thought, you know what, medicine would be cool. It’d be great to be a doctor. And if contemplating what was ahead wasn’t frightening enough, he could always consider what he was leaving behind.
There’d never been the assumption they would all stick together, all stay or all go, but still when Daichi had said he wasn’t going to Tokyo, Suga’s stomach had dropped.
“No point,” Daichi had said, “I’ll always be a country boy, that’s just the way that it is. No need to pretend to be slick like Kuroo or a hotshot like Bokuto.”
“You’ve never wondered what it’d be like?”
“I’ve been to Tokyo, Suga. I’d rather stay here.”
Suga shook his head, nope, better to worry about the future than think about what he was leaving behind. Maybe he should’ve gotten his shit together and gone with Asahi today. He’d meant to. He’d made a packing list. He’d gotten boxes to pack but when he sat down to it, he just couldn’t. Then his mom had told him there wasn’t any rush and that she needed help with her garden and why not just take it easy before school started up in the fall. Asahi’s internship was starting right away but there was no need for Suga to move immediately. Maybe Suga’s mom wasn’t ready for her baby bird to leave the nest, but also, maybe, the baby bird wasn’t ready either.
Anyway it didn’t matter, Asahi was gone and Suga had two months to get his shit together, help start his mom’s garden, and also, Daichi.
Also Daichi.
He was out of town with his family for the rest of the week and as soon as Asahi was gone Suga didn’t know what to do with himself. His mom was at work, she’d staked out where the garden would go and so Suga set to turning the soil, until the middle of the day heat ended him up on the porch thinking about how hot it’d been in Tokyo for the training camp they’d done last summer. He wiped the sweat from his forehead. Wondering if practice was going on right now, his hands itching for the ball, for the sound of shoes on the court, setting the ball, the perfect moment the spiker slammed it down. Nice kill. He stopped himself half way to the gym because it would be awkward, there’d be new first years and Ennoshita would give him the face that saw through whatever excuse he’d made why he should be there.
To Daichi:
Asahi is gone. Whyd u have to leave me here all alone :’(
The reply was too fast for someone supposedly having a good time with their elementary school aged siblings and doting parents.
From Daichi:
I thought u were going with Asahi?
To Daichi:
I was and then I didnt
From Daichi:
Haha now u kno how I feel
To Daichi:
Ur so mean captain
From Daichi:
Be home in 3 days
Three long days where Suga started packing, sticking things at random into the boxes he’d assembled, only later to open the boxes and drag things back out that he still needed. He started summer reading for one of his classes, falling asleep nearly immediately lying on the floor in front of the fan, the long afternoon sunlight cutting blocks across the floor.
From Tanaka:
U busy? Could use extra setter. Kageyama scared first year, need help
Drowsy from his nap Suga contemplated this development smiling to himself. Daichi would tell him lay off but he was itching to get out of the house and if it meant he got to play volleyball there wasn’t really any way he could say no to that.
“Thank god, Suga-san” Tanaka met Suga at the gym door looking harried. Suga had expected it to feel like coming home, but the collection of boys in the gym was unsettling. With their last season and nationals had come a large group of first years all wide eyed. They’d had a decent showing at Inter-High, but that was with the team focusing on second and third years. Ennoshita was directing them now, less vocal than Daichi but with a presence. Everything felt wrong and Suga fought the urge to flee. The first year in question was hanging behind Tanaka now, mousy brown hair, freckles, knobby knees.
“You’re number 2!” he squeaked. “You scored that spike against Shiratorizawa when the libero set.” Suga flushed. “That was so cool!”
“Aoki here needs some pointers,” Tanaka said flustered again. “Ennoshita said I shouldn’t bother you, but Kageyama is no help. He and Hinata speak the same language but he’s not great at helping besides telling someone they suck.”
“I suck a lot,” Aoki filled in.
“He was always telling Hinata he sucked too, it’s not the end of the world,” Suga assured the kid. His eyes brightened.
Aoki wasn’t bad necessarily, but Suga helped him with form, after a bit another first year appeared to join in the informal demo and then Nishinoya who was struggling with some of the tosses he’d been doing. It was easy to get lost in the team again.
“Sorry, Tanaka asked me to come,” Suga explained to Ennoshita later. Ennoshita shrugged.
“I just figured you’d be busy with university stuff already, it’s not like I didn’t want you to come.”
“I get it, its fine,” Suga tried to hide the grimace, the creeping hand of university on his shoulder again.
Suga did a sweep of Shimada Mart before he found Daichi, kneeling in the soup aisle stocking the shelf. He was wearing a black apron, his hair looking uncharacteristically shaggy. Suga’s heart did a little backflip which was new but he hadn’t seen Daichi in almost a month. His family had taken a trip to visit his grandparents up north. Before Suga could even think of something smart to say Daichi had turned to him with the sixth sense of a retail worker.
“Can I help you find something--- oh! Suga!”
“Yeah, sir, I’d like to speak to your manager.”
“Ha, ha, funny,” Daichi deadpanned grinning at him.
“How was Iwate?”
“Same as always. Grandma sent some of those cookies you like, if you want some.”
“Just for me?”
“Yep, met you once and now all she wants to know is how Suga-chan is doing every time I see her.”
Suga giggled, face heating up.
“I’ll bring them over to your house after work. And uh, Suga, I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Ennoshita has it under control Daichi, no need to worry.”
“Not that,” Daichi laughed.
“I was actually up there a couple of days ago, it was weird. Also being a third year has gone to Tanaka’s head, he’s drunk on power…”
“Sawamura, Sugawara!” a voice interrupted them and they turned to see Michimiya from school coming to join them. She was carrying a bento, her eyes pinned on Daichi. Suga felt the creeping fear again, like he had before the prefecture finals, that he couldn’t hang on to Daichi. Not with the smile that was lighting up his face now, focus shifting.
“I’ve gotta go help my mom. Uh with something,” Suga fumbled for words, “See ya later Daichi. Michimiya,” Suga said turning to flee.
To Asahi:
Weve got a problem
To Asahi:
Like a big problem
To Asahi:
I am so fucked
To Asahi:
R u alive? Why r u ignoring me?
Suga lay back on his bed with a groan and pressed his hands to his face. He’d somehow managed to forget about Michimiya and her meddling. And maybe on a good day he could encourage it, he could say that if she was the one that Daichi liked and the one who made him happy then he could bow out and step aside with grace. Today wasn’t one of those days and he just knew that bento was lunch she’d made for him. And how long had that been going on? Was it already something established? Were they dating and Daichi hadn’t told him?? Daichi told him everything right? They were best friends, right?
To Asahi:
Asahi im dying
There was still no answer and that worried Suga just a little bit. Asahi was a big boy he could take care of himself but at the same time, Tokyo was a big place and Asahi was just a country boy and god, so was Suga, what help would he be if Asahi was actually in some sort of trouble??
“Koushi, I’m home!” his mother’s voice lurched him up in bed. Was it that late already? He’d meant to at least have started dinner. And he’d stared at the garden plot for a whole hour and hadn’t done anything. And didn’t Daichi say he’d come over after work? How late was he working? Suga trudged down the stairs feeling tired and tired and tired. His mom was in the kitchen looking through the cupboards. She pulled out a couple of things and Suga could already tell this was going to be a hodgepodge meal of whatever she found lying around.
“Mom, I can do it,” he offered, and she jumped spinning around on him. Her ash blonde hair was a short pixie cut that he was still getting used to, for the longest time she’d worn it in a long braid down her back.
“Koushi, you shouldn’t scare me like that,” she scolded him with a smile. “I didn’t even know you were home. Were you taking a nap? I see you didn’t start on the garden?”
“Maybe tomorrow,” he assured her pulling out the rice cooker and assembling a more cohesive set of ingredients on the counter. His mom leaned against the counter watching him, he could feel her eyes boring a hole into his back. He braced for whatever she was about to say.
“Something up, Kou-chan? You’re quiet,” she asked. He flinched, turning to give her a weak smile.
“Nothing’s up, it’s just so hot out you know? Makes it easy to just let the whole day slip by.”
“True, true,” she agreed nodding. “Wishing you’d gone with Azumane-kun to Tokyo already?”
“Maybe a little bit,” he admitted.
“It is pretty boring around here, with just me,” she said eyes twinkling. Suga smiled a little wider. “What about Sawamura-kun? Didn’t you say he’s staying in Miyagi for school? Go bother him.”
“He’s got a job,” Suga said, and probably a girlfriend, turning his back to his mom, hoping to hide the heat on his face.
“That’s smart, Kou-chan, maybe you could get a job,” she said with a yawn.
“Maybe,” Suga agreed turning on the stove.
“Don’t sound too excited,” she told him, “I’m going to go get out of these work clothes.” And then she was gone and he let out the breath he’d been holding. No scolding about the garden, no pushing about packing. He pulled out his phone but Asahi still hadn’t responded.
Suga was cleaning up the kitchen when there was knocking on the door.
“Koushi, Sawamura-kun is here!” his mom called. Suga ducked his head out of the kitchen to see Daichi in the genkan, kicking off his shoes, holding a box.
“You didn’t.”
“I told you I would,” Daichi said giving him a funny smile offering him the cookies. Suga accepted them popping the lid off and offering the box to his mom who was still hanging around.
“I didn’t know you were a baker, Sawamura-kun,” she said to Daichi who scratched the back of his head bashfully.
“They’re from my grandma,” Daichi explained.
“They’re so good,” Suga sighed taking a bite of one, offering Daichi the box. Daichi waved him off.
“I don’t need anymore. The box was less empty this morning.”
Suga laughed at him.
“Koushi, show him where the garden is going to go.”
“This is why I stayed,” Suga explained from the back step. His mom had marked out the borders of where she wanted the garden to go. “Mom wants to grow more of her own food. So this whole section I’m going to plant cucumbers and squash, and then beans over there. Maybe a watermelon over there and then strawberries along this side. She’s going to start making strawberry jam again, just wait.” Daichi smiled
“And she couldn’t do it on her own?”
“Well I offered to help,” Suga said shrugging it off. “I was going to go with Asahi, you know? But then I don’t know, I just didn’t. Mom could still use my help and classes don’t start for another two months, so what’s the rush?” He ran his hand through his hair. There was the other reason too. “And Daichi, I…” he started, since they were already here, they’d sat down on the back step, knees almost touching. The cicadas droning on the in the trees overhead. Daichi turned to look at Suga when he didn’t finish his sentence.
“What is it, Suga?”
The light was just right and a breeze ruffled Daichi’s hair and Suga had to restrain himself from trying to touch it, it was really getting long, shaggy almost.
“Daichi your hair is so long.”
“It’s not that long,” Daichi said with a laugh running his hand through it.
“My mom’s got scissors, I bet she’d trim it.”
“Its fine, I don’t mind it. Do you mind it?” Daichi asked.
“No it’s alright, I kinda like it,” Suga said and then wanted to eat his words, “I mean it does look like a dad who’s letting himself go, but some people are into that I guess.” Daichi elbowed him.
“Some people, like you?”
“I didn’t say I was into it,” Suga argued, heart kicking harder, Daichi was laughing at him.
“Come on you know you want to touch it,” he said leaning his head toward Suga. Suga reached out and viciously rubbed his hands through Daichi’s hair, cackling. Daichi shoved him off. Suga leaned back on his hands, the sky starting to turn orangey pinks as the sun went down. Suga remembered something Daichi had said that afternoon at the store.
“You said you wanted to talk to me about something?” he finally prompted. Daichi shot him a startled glance.
“Oh, that’s right,” he mumbled smoothing his hair and wincing, “Do you think Ennoshita is really doing alright?”
“Daichi! You can’t still be worrying about that! What happened to post Inter High when you were like let’s just retire now and let the kids have the club? Just let it go already.”
“Can you let it go?”
“Sure, I can let it go.”
“Is that why you were over there the other day. Nishinoya said you were giving pointers on setting technique even though Kageyama was there,” Daichi teased.
“Hey, I was asked to help, I didn’t go there just for fun. And you know how Kageyama gets.”
Daichi shrugged still grinning. Suga pushed him.
“Quit smiling like that. You’re just jealous they don’t want you to help out.”
By the time the day of the midsummer festival arrived, Suga had tilled the whole patch and finally seeded it. At first there hadn’t been much to show for his hard work beside tiny peeps of green poking their heads out of the soil but in two weeks there were leaves, waving tendrils, a chorus of chaos in the previously orderly patch. But alongside the plants were weeds, Suga had watched them in dismay, and kept putting off the job of pulling them out, instead opting for staring listlessly at his summer reading, and the empty boxes in his room taunting him. And then he would be outside, tracing the route to school, walking by Asahi’s house, catching glimpses of his big dog in the window waiting for him to come back. Once he’d seen Asahi’s mom who had waved to him from across the way and he’d feigned having somewhere to be to avoid the conversation she certainly wanted to have with him about the ever present ‘when?’. Then he’d end up at Shimada Mart to bother Daichi who always looked up with half a grin like he was expecting him. Suga could almost kid himself a minute that things were as they’d always been, that he was as settled as those growing plants in his garden.
The day of the festival Daichi had the day off and had come over in the afternoon for a late lunch.
“It’s looking good,” he said about the garden, surveying it from the back window. “It’s like a jungle.”
“It’s sixty percent weeds,” Suga admitted running water over their dirty dishes in the sink.
“Need some help pulling them?”
“You sure you want to brave the jungle?”
“Why not? I’ve got nothing better to do, let me help you,” Daichi said with a grin that gave Suga butterflies. Suga didn’t want to admit that pulling the weeds was the first step to being done with home but he agreed to Daichi’s offer, and they ventured out into the patch. There wasn’t much shade and within minutes the two of them were sweating.
“I regret offering.”
“I tried to warn you,” Suga said with a set of garden shears clipping back the more rambunctious bits. Daichi wiped his forehead.
“You didn’t try hard enough.”
“Say that again? Come a little bit closer,” Suga said waving him over with a wicked smile. Daichi eyed the gardening shears in Suga’s hand and shook his head.
“Not when you’re looking at me like that I won’t,”
“Come on, just a little trim.”
“I thought you said you like it longer?”
“I did but now I want old Daichi back.”
“He’s gone you’re stuck with new me.”
“No fun.”
Daichi laughed at him.
Later Daichi sat back wiping the dirt off his hands onto his knees and surveying their work.
“Fuck it’s hot out.”
“Want something to drink?” Suga asked getting to his feet and heading for the back door.
“Please,” Daichi said wiping the sweat off his face with the bottom of his t-shirt. Suga returned with a glass of ice water. Daichi drank it down, sitting in the grass.
“Were we still going to the festival together tonight?” Suga started, he’d been thinking about it all day but unsure how to approach it. “I know Asahi isn’t here and the three of us usually went together…”
“That’s tonight?” Daichi looked up. Suga was nodding, bemused by how bewildered Daichi looked. “What time is it?”
“Right now? A little after five,” Suga said checking the time on his phone.
“Oh shit,” Daichi left his empty glass in the grass. “I’ve got to go. I’m sorry, Suga, Michimiya asked me earlier if I’d go with her, and I’m supposed to meet her at five-thirty and I’m sweaty as fuck. I’ve got to run home and shower.”
“Wait, you’re going with Michimiya?”
“She asked me the other day at work, I told her yes without even thinking about it,” Daichi admitted, hesitating at the door. “You’re not mad are you?”
“No, I’m not mad,” Suga said, which was at least partially a lie, it wasn’t mad as much as it was he felt like someone had squeezed all the air out of his lungs.
“Okay, good,” Daichi breathed out. “Thanks for the water and letting me help you.” Suga couldn’t help but smile, only Daichi would thank him for letting him help.
“Enjoy your date,” Suga called after him voice pinched. Daichi’s brow furrowed for a minute as he opened the gate to let himself out.
“Not a date,” he called back as if what was happening could be anything but a date. When he was gone Suga tucked his head between his knees, running his fingers through his hair.
Fuck.