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Erwin had temporarily assigned Sasha the position of Hanji's research assistant. Usually, it was the job of a member of Hanji squad, but since they were out in a mission without her, she was alone for a few days. Knowing Hanji's energy and enthusiasm, Erwin thought it best to assigned her a new recuit, officially to assist her in her research works, informally to keep an eye on her.
Sasha globally spent her day carrying her belongings, taking notes to her demand, and helping her setting scatterbrained observation strategies. She was also in charge of reminding her lunch hours and bed time, and was occasionnally getting involved in her reaserch work. Hanji often asked for her opinion, she liked to have external viewpoint and seemed intriguated by her past as a hunter. Sasha spent most of her time following her everywhere and listening to her talk. Lost in her thoughts, the squad leader's tirades had neither head nor tail, and she was often rambling. Sasha had since long gave up the hope to understand her way of thinking, she was just answering some of the questions her superior was asking out loud, without really knowing if they were adressed to her.
As days goes by, she realized that this new position wasn't so bad. She was getting used to the eccentric temperament of her superior, and she learned how to assist her best in her work. She even dared to take part of her reflections, which seemed to please the squad leader. Sasha felt that they were talking as equals. Hanji was taking into account any of her opinion as if, like her, she was part of the survey scouts for years. She feeled listened and recognized, treated differently from a newbie or some cannon fodder, and she liked that.
One day, while they were walking through Stohess district, Sasha heard some recruits from Military Police Brigade laughing at Hanji. "Freak. What is she even doing here? Don't she have some sticks to insert into titan asses or whatever? They shouldn't have the right to circulate so casually around here"
Sasha was shocked, it was the first time she heard someone speak of a superior like this. She knew the Survey corp wasn't really appreciated by everyone, especially by the nobility and Church of the wall, but it was the first time she witnessed it. She didn't thought there could be such an animosity between the corps of an army that fought for the same goal : the survival of humanity.
Past the schock, she slowly felt anger overwelmed her. How dare they, low gradded soldiers like them, cowards cooped up inside of the Wall where they had the least chance to face titans, insult a squad leader who is the embodiment of mankind's hope, and who is sacrificing her life for their survival? to ensure the daily comfort of coward like them? When she thought about it, it wasn't the first time she heard people mocking Hanji like this. When Erwin came to publicly announced her that she was temporarily named as her assistant, she heard some other recruits snickered: "Wow, so unlucky!" or "Oh no, what did she do to deserve that?". At the time, she didn't really payed attention to it, but now, facing these cocky recruits, everything maked sense : Humans didn't deserve Hanji Zoë, Skilled squad leader within the Survey corps.
They weren't trying to know her. They weren't trying to understand her point of vue. They didn't see her ardor, her devotion to humanity. They didn't see her struggling everyday and risking her life into the battalion. They didn't see her coming back home covered in blood, unable to stand, but still haunted by the same fire, the same thirst for knowledge. Nor didn't they see her saving number of lives by her sagacity and her brilliant mind. Or Her being crushed by the loss of their comrades and the years spend into the survey corp.
They chose to see in her a devil who was playing with the object of mankind's decline. A maniac who take her pleasure by keeping living titans as pets and torturing them. A hysteric with twisted scientific approaches who was risking good people lives to gather derisory informations.
"What a freak, I don't understand how she is a squad leader" "Eeew look at her hair, they're so oily" "Did you see her face when she stab the captiv titan in the eye? so scary"
She suddenly felt overwhelmed by the ingratitude and the narrow-mindedness of these people. It was like everybody had blinders. She didn't understand how they can have such feelings toward someone so kind and so fair. She wanted to rip off their blinders, to get them off their high horses. Whe she opened her mouth to do so, Hanji turned to adressed her.
"Come on Sasha, we have a lot to do" Her face was as cheerful as when they entered the city. She couldn't hadn't heard what they sayed about her, these bratty recruits didn't even bother to whisper. She just chose to ignored them and to move on. Frustrated by the situation, Sasha frowned and begrudgingly followed her.
Hanji added in a neutral tone "Let's not get distract by some foolish kids. For the time being they have nothing more valuable to do. If they are stupid enough to insult the people who are fighting for them, we have to be wise enough to ignore their childish provocations. We have better things to do than dealing with internal conflicts". She was right, she couldn't let her feelings take control of her. She had to ignore these recruits, they didn't deserve this much attention anyway.
However, Sasha's anger was still there and prevent her from moving on, she felt stupid beside her superior and her wisdom. Hanji read her face and guessed her struggle. She laughed "Don't worry, this is something you will understand later". She patted her on the shoulder then started to walk again.
Sasha and Hanji spent the night at the district barracks. After a late diner, they sayed goodnight and went to their respective rooms. Sasha couldn't sleep. In her bed, she was still thinking about the event that happened earlier. She didn't understand why her superior marginalization was putting her on edge. Even though that wasn't the kind of subject that usually bothered her, she sinked into a deep thought.
She was used to this kind of treatment, she herself had suffered mockery from some of the other recruits in the past, and sometimes she still did. They were laughing at her for many reasons like her obsession for food or her nervous behavior. She didn't really mind it though. It had bothered her at first, but the fact that people were trusting her and that she was respected for being in the top 10 graduated from the 104th Training Corps eased her and gave her more confidence in herself.
Then why was it different for Hanji? What the others were thinking of the squad leader mattered to her, and knowing that she was marginalized on brief observations or rumors bothered her. She felt powerless in front of this popular assumption, she felt the need to get back at the recruits from the Military Police Brigade and the ones that mocked her the day she took her new position to restore the truth and to explain them why they were wrong.
She was confused by this pulsion of heroism Hanji inspired her. She spent the night to ponder over it while questionning human's reasoning and her own position. She tried to explain feelings she never felt before.
Eventually she fell asleep when the sun started to filter through the curtains, and was woken up 5 minutes later by Hanji. It was time for them to get back to the camp.