Chapter Text
31 March 20xx
“Namjoon-ah…let’s do it”
Jin lie down on Namjoon’s stomach with a smile
“What? No…I don’t want to”
Namjoon ignores Jin’s request and continue reading the book in his hands
“But I wanted to…pleaseeeee”
“And I don’t want to…Now go to sleep ok…want me to sing you a lullaby hyung?”
Namjoon push Jin’s body and it makes Jin automatically lie down on his place
“No I wanna do it…I want it…I want it”
Jin shakes Namjoon’s arm making him hard to read the book and finally he gave up and put the book at the side tables beside their bed
Jin who thought that Namjoon gonna gave in prepared himself by unbuttoning his pajamas but before he could finish it Namjoon stop him
“Who said I’m gonna do it today?”
Namjoon buttoned Jin’s pajamas back
“Aren’t you going to do it right now?”
Namjoon just shook his head and lie down besides Jin and pulled him into his arms
“No I’m not…not now okay..Now we go to sleep it’s almost midnight”
Namjoon pulled the blanket and cover his and Jin’s body in it
“You know hyung…can you promise me something?”
Jin who is starting to feel drowsy just nodded his head and snuggle into Namjoon’s chest
“No matter what happen we will not forget each other okay hyung…Let’s be in love until the people around us feel jealous with us and if they wanted to cringe then let them be because it’s our love live…ok hyung?”
Jin just chuckled and lifted his head looking at Namjoon’s face
“You’re much of a talker and it’s not like I’m going to forget about you…So you also have to promised me not to forget me too..okay Namjoonie?”
“Yeah let’s do that…I love you Kim Seokjin”
“I love you too Kim Namjoon”
Namjoon kiss Jin’s forehead and in a couple of minute Jin’s eyes were closing on its own…
Jin has fallen asleep
Namjoon’s took his notebook at the side tables first drawer and scribble something at the book
’31 March 20xx
You’re beautiful too this month hyung
Ok let me tell you what happens this month hyung……….’
1 April 20xx
It’s a normal day as always…Namjoon wakes up at 7 a.m. in the morning and later he took a shower and make some breakfast for him and Jin-hyung
The other members?
Well actually after Namjoon and Jin had their come out, they decided that they wanted to live together with just the two of them, and the members didn’t seem like they oppose the idea so that’s how they end up living together…It’s been 4 years since they first buy this house using their own money from their hardwork
Namjoon setting up the table and put a nice warm delicious pancake on the plate…
Namjoon looks at the plate and smile at it
‘2 years training myself to cook seems to finally paid off’
That’s when he heard a loud crash at the bedroom upstairs he quickly put the apron aside and go upstairs where Jin-hyung is
“Jin-hyung are you okay?”
Jin who is lying down on the floor get up and look at Namjoon
“Namjoon-ah where am I?”
Namjoon sighed and give a hand to Jin-hyung to help him get up
“You are at ou-…No I mean my house”
Jin looked at Namjoon with a lot of question playing in his mind
“What am I doing at your house?”
“Well actually because of some circumstances we have live together….It’s not like we had a fight with the other members but its something that both of us decided to do”
Namjoon looks at Jin-hyung hoping that he will not freak out like last time
“Ouhh…so that’s why I’m here..anyway thank you for letting me crash at your place Namjoon-ah, I didn’t cause any trouble to you right?”
“What you? Troubling me? Pfft nonsense…of course not instead I’m happy that we can live together hyung”
“I thought so too,who in the world wouldn’t be happy to live with this Mr. Worldwide Handsome…. so mind if I borrow your shower?”
Namjoon just nodded his head
“There’s the shower and your clothes is at the closet with the black colored door the turquoise one is my closet okay…And after you have taken your shower come down at the kitchen I’ve cooked us some breakfast”
Jin smiled at Namjoon and ruffled his hair
“I didn’t know that you can cook…thanks for the invitation I will come down in a couple of minutes just wait for me okay?”
Namjoon mumble
“Its not like you are going to remember anyway tho”
Jin turned his head and look at Namjoon
“You said something?”
“No..nothing hyung just go and take a shower I will wait downstairs okay”
Jin just shows the ok sign and go straight to the bathroom
‘Just how long will I have to put this up with every single time it’s too painful’
Namjoon sighed once again and make his way to downstairs and as soon as he reach downstairs he heard his phone ringing from the kitchen…It’s Yoongi-hyung
“Hello”
“Namjoon-ah are you okay today?”
“Yeah I’m okay why wouldn’t I Yoongi-hyung?”
“Well I thought that you would’t be okay since you know what is the date today”
Namjoon just chuckled
“Hyung I’ve been through this for 2 freaking years why wouldn’t I not be okay”
“Namjoon-ah…we’ve known each other for a long time…I know you are still troubled by it and even today you are still struggling with yourself right?”
“I keep on wondering that no matter how much I wanted to hide something it seems like I can’t keep it when I’m with you hyung”
“Hahaha well this is my specialist, so care to tell me your problem too this month?”
Before Namjoon could answer his hyung he heard a loud noise on the phone
“Is that Namjoon-hyung?”-V
“Yoongi-hyung is that Namjoon-hyung?”-Jk
“It is Namjoon-hyung right?”-Jimin
“How could you not told us…put the speaker on right now"- J-hope
“Ok,ok I will jeez wait a second please”-Yoongi
“Namjoon-hyung be strong okay!”-Jk
“We will always be with you no matter what happens okay!”-V
“Yeah just be happy and if something is wrong contact me too!”-Jimin
“And remember if you lose you hope you have me I’m your hope J-hope!”
“eww that’s so lame..HAHAHAHAHA”-all of them except J-hope
At the other side of the phones Namjoon smiled widely
“Thanks all of you I really appreciate it”
“YOU’RE WELCOME..NAMJOON-HYUNG/-AH FIGHTING!”-all of them
“Now shuhh I still wanted to talk to Namjoon about something else”-Yoongi
“Tch..alright we will go..bye Namjoon-hyung”-V
“So…want to meet up Namjoon-ah?”
“Yeah let’s do that…tomorrow at 9 p.m. okay?”
“okay…bye and fighting Namjoon-ah”
“Bye and thanks hyung”
Namjoon put the phone inside his pocket and he startled after seeing Jin-hyung looking at him
"Wow what an enthusiastic phone call you got huh Namjoon-ah"
Jin chuckled and took his seat at the table
"Hahaha yeah they will always call me like that every first day of the month"
"Oh and why is that?"
Jin stuff the first pancake into his mouth....all of it
"Omg hyung you can't stuff the pancake like that you're going to choke yourself"
Jin took some time to chew the pancake and look at Namjoon
"Well if it's something that is tasty like this then there's no problems stuffing it all into my mouth you know and you haven't answer my question"
"Right that question...well it just something that they always do for these past two years"
And it's Namjoon turns to eat the pancake...but he cut it to 4 pieces and eat it slowly not like you know who
"So Namjoon-ah when is the practice for our new song?"
"After we finish this breakfast we will go straight to the company and they said that we will had a mv shooting today"
At the company......
"Here we are...Hyung you go first I will park my car"
"Okay I will just wait inside with the other members"
Namjoon nodded his head and start searching for the car park well it's not that hard since they had their own car parking space
"Hey Jin-Hyung how are you today?"
Jungkook pat Jin shoulder and he seems a little bit startled by the maknae sudden question
"Jungkook-ah don't startled me like that it hard for my heart"
Jin holds his heart pretending to have a heart attack
"Sorry... so you're going to the preparation rooms right?"
Jin nodded his head while his eyes look around looking for Namjoon well he did promise to wait him
"What a coincidence me too... let's go"
Jungkook pulled Jin's hand toward the direction to the preparation rooms
"But I-"
"Oh come on we will be late"
Jin just gave in and follow where Jungkook leading him to
10 minutes later.....
Namjoon push the door of the preparation rooms and saw all of the members almost done with their make-up, clothes while him,he obviously wearing the same clothes he wear from home
"Namjoon-ssi hurry and change your clothes...you are late 10 minutes hurryyy"
Namjoon's manager scold him...but not like a real scold a light scold I would say
"I'm sorry I will get change now"
"Yeah you better hurry...and Sunhi-ssi will do your make-up"
"Sunhi?"
Namjoon turns his head to the manager asking who is this 'Sunhi-ssi'
It feels like he had heard about that name before but he can't remember it
"Sunhi is the new make-up artist and she will help around okay now hurry and change your clothes"
"Alright alright I am going"
After Namjoon have done with his make-up he wanted to go straight to the members but seems like his stomach doesn't allow it
And finally after 5 minutes of struggling in the toilet he goes to where the members are
"Namjoon-ah you're late"
Yoongi look at Namjoon that's too tired of running around
"I'm sorry I actually-"
Before he even get to finish his sentences he catch a sight of Jin and the new make-up artist laughing and being touchy with each other...you know
I slap you..you slap me kind of thing..dude there's no way that a make-up artist would get close to an idol in that short amount of time
"Oh someone's being touchy"
Jimin who passing by Jin and Sunhi make a joke and automatically stop after saw Namjoon's troubled face looking at both of them
"W-well Jin-Hyung come here I needs some help with something"
Jimin who can see Yoongi glance saying that
'get Jin-Hyung away from Sunhi now'
immediately pull his hand to other direction
"Wait I didn't even finish talking yet"
"Well I really need help right now..and Sunhi-ssi you can wait right?"
Sunhi just nodded and walked away but everyone can see how unsatisfied she is right now
"Now what did you want me to help you Jimin-ah?"
"Actually I forgot hehe"
Jimin scratch his head
"Eishh this kid"
"Hahaha sorry hyung"
Namjoon just watch them from a far feeling a bit relieve...He knows that what he's doing is wrong but with Jin conditions right now he can lose him anytime
"...on!"
"...Joon!"
"Kim Namjoon!"
Namjoon startled and turned his head to Yoongi
"I'm sorry what is it hyung?"
Yoongi just shook his head
"So tonight 9 p.m. ?"
"Yeah 9 p.m. at the usual place"
Yoongi nodded his head and pat Namjoon's shoulder
"Everything is going to be okay... don't worry Namjoon-ah"
Namjoon smiles showing his dimple
"Yeah, thanks hyung"
8:00 p.m.
"Finally we are done..arghhh!"
Jungkook shouting after they have spend half of theirs day only on mv making... Sheesh can you believe how exhausted they were?
"Jin-Hyung...Ermmm after I drop you off I have to go somewhere else so you can go to bed first okay...well if you want me to stay at home with you I will postpone it"
Jin who is packing his things turn to look at Namjoon
"Hey it's okay just go... its not like I'm your boyfriend or anything so do anything you want"
The word that Jin said actually hurt Namjoon's heart after that but he only smiled and nodded his head
"Alright so... let's wait for Yoongi-hyung because he will go with me after that"
"Wait is this the monthly discussion of you and Yoongi-hyung?"
J-Hope popped out and asked Namjoon out of the blue
"Well...you could say that"
"Wait that's not fair...I want to tag along with you guys too"
Namjoon just shook his head
"Maybe next time okay hyung"
"Yeah I've heard that for two years...but Namjoon-ah sometimes tell me too about it ok,I'm your hyung too"
Although J-Hope is a cheerful person sometime he also felt hurt because Namjoon always had trouble to tell him his problem
"I'm sorry hyung...I promise okay next month I will bring you along"
"Well it's okay... it's not like I didn't ask Yoongi-hyung you know..Just sometimes I want to hear your problems from your own mouth"
"Now,now what is this every month discussion and your problem Namjoon-ah... I'm your hyung too so tell me about it"
Jin put his chin at Namjoon's shoulder and turn his head to look at him
"N-nothing hyung... it's just a discussion about the song and ect."
Namjoon stuttered
"Well if you say so...oh look that's Yoongi...YOONGI-AH HURRY!"
Jin called out for Yoongi that walking too slow while playing his phone
--
"Jin-Hyung I will be back before you wake up okay...make sure to lock the door and don't make a loud noise because our neighbors will scold me about it tomorrow and if you wanted to know about anything just call me I will answer it"
Jin chuckled and nodded his head
"What are you my mom or something?I can take care of myself don't worry and make sure if you come home drunk don't even dream to get into the bedroom okay"
Namjoon smile
"Well that side of you never change hyung"
"What side?"
"No nothing just... Nevermind, I will be on my way now bye"
Jin waves his hand and after that Namjoon's car disappeared from his sight
--
"So...any problems today or last month Namjoon-ah?"
Yoongi looks at Namjoon who is watching his phone
"Well last month is like a usual month but he ask for something impossible you know"
"What?"
"That thing"
Namjoon's face reddened and quickly Yoongi can grasp what he meant by that
"Well sometimes that happens you know...you just can't fight lust"
"Well I can"
"Talking about something that you have done for two years of course you can fight it"
"I guess you're right hyung"
Then they become silent before Yoongi start the conversation again
"Namjoon-ah aren't you tired doing this again and again?"
"That the first time you ask me that...why all of sudden?"
"Nothing just curious but it's okay if you don't want to tell me tho"
Namjoon shook his head and smile at Yoongi..he took a deep breath before start talking
"For the first few months yes it is hard...how to take back his heart every month making him mine every month,yes it is harder than monthly exam
But because I've loved him for years the thought of giving up just can't take over me... Because I love him I try as hard as I can not to do something that will lead him to leave me forever...I learn to cook so that every month when he wake up he will smell my cook very first thing in the morning
I watched the same drama every month with him and heard the same review from him every month and I think the amount of time we spend on the same drama is unhealthy because I can remember the actress scripts you know
You may say that this act is pathetic and exhausting but I love him and I have vowed to myself that I will not leave him and I will love him for every day,every month,every years and for the rest of my life
Just I don't know how long he can stay with me because you see every month he will forget about our relationship..it hurts hyung but because it hurts I try as hard as I can to make him remember back what he forgot
Just one thing that I want is...what if that accident didn't happen two years ago and what if I didn't leave him that night.. what if we instead of letting him go on his own I accompany him..what if-"
Yoongi patted Namjoon's shoulder
"Namjoon-ah there's no end to what ifs ,the only thing that you can do is love him took back his heart and help him to remember okay?"
Namjoon nodded his head and wipe his tears
"Thanks hyung"
"Anything for you"
--
"Then I will be on my way... thanks for the ride again Namjoon-ah"
Yoongi get out of Namjoon's car and smile at him
"Anytime hyung.. anytime.. alright goodbye"
Namjoon drove his car out of the members house and make his way to his and Jin-Hyung house
Suddenly Yoongi words come back at him
'yeah Yoongi-hyung is right there no end to what ifs..but it's all my fault'
2 years ago....
2 January 20xx
"Namjoon-ah~"
Jin came to Namjoon and hugs his arm
"Jin-Hyung what's wrong?"
"Nothing...can I ask you something?"
"What's it hyung?"
"Stop doing your work and come watch drama with me"
Namjoon puts his glasses at the table and look back at Jin
"Seriously hyung we've watched it for 3rd time this month...I think I've remember the actress script you know"
"Oww come on...watch it with me again please"
And in the end Namjoon just gave in and move to the living room and sat at the couch with Jin
"So which episode are we at?"
Namjoon adjust his position while Jin lying down on his thighs
"Last 3 episodes"
"This is when the main character fell down from the cliff and loss memories of the lead female character right?"
"Yah Namjoonie! Don't spoil it"
Jin smack Namjoon's stomach and that makes Namjoon hiss painfully
"Ouchh..yeah I'm sorry..but can people actually forget about something so specific like the main character...he only forget about the lead female character..is it even possible?"
"That's why they called it drama Namjoonie... sometime everything doesn't even makes sense at all but that what attracts people the most"
Jin turn his head at Namjoon's stomach and his hand slowly patted his stomach
"Well I wonder if there's cases like that tho"
"If it exist maybe I should volunteer myself you know"
Jin said jokingly but little did he know it hurt Namjoon a bit
"Why would you say that hyung"
"Well it's you who said if you there's even cases like that"
"But I didn't meant that you can volunteer yourself like that..what if you forget about me how can I continue to live on my life like that hyung"
Namjoon can feel his eyes starting to feel watery and his voice tone change a bit...Jin shocked by Namjoon's sudden change of emotions get up and look at Namjoon that is sniffling hard
"Hey Namjoonie...why are you crying?"
Jin hold both of Namjoon's cheeks with his hand
"You said you're going to forget about me"
"Oh my god Namjoonie...how could you take that seriously..I just joking don't cry Namjoon-ah hyung's sorry...here let me give you a hug"
"Don't make that kind of joke it hurts me"
"Yeah I promise not to...and you also have to promise me okay not to forget about me"
"Yeah I promise"
"But Namjoonie I think if I really will forget about you then you have to help me remember you back"
"There you go again..I hate you hyung"
"No..I'm sorry please don't hate me Namjoonie"
Jin hugs Namjoon tighter making him hard to breathe and after that they laught it off
--
"But you still forget about us hyung.. although you promised me"
Namjoon mumbled and wipe away his tears...remembering that memories only lead him to shed his tears again and again
"Hyung I'm home...where-"
Namjoon stop after he heard someone was talking on the phone
"Jin-Hyung.."
Namjoon push the bedroom doors slowly and saw Jin were on his phone with...Sunhi-ssi? How did he know? well Jin did mention her name when he is on call
After a few minutes of waiting Jin finally hung up his phone
"You're on call with Sunhi-ssi?"
"Yeah why?"
"No it just that you seem like you had known her for a long time seeing how friendly you guys are"
"Yep that's right...we used to go to middle and high school together and you can say that we are bestfriend but we lost contact after that... that's why I'm a bit excited to see her again"
Jin smiled as he talk about her...well they're friend of course they will be so friendly with each other right? There's nothing to worried about right?
"Well I am happy that you are reunited with your bestfriend hyung"
"Thanks Namjoon-ah...and can I ask you something?"
Namjoon turn to look at Jin who is sitting at the bed
"Why did this house only has one bedroom and where will you sleep...and why are this drawer lock..where's the key?"
"That's a lot questions you know"
"You're going to answer it or not?"
"I will..well what can I do hyung this house only had one bedroom and you see this couch I'm sitting on..this can also be a bed so I'll sleep here and for that drawer...I lost the key so I never opened it"
He lied...he just doesn't want Jin-Hyung to open it..not now
"Well okay...just remember to took a shower before you sleep okay...I'm gonna turn in first..good night Namjoon-ah"
"Good night too hyung"
Namjoon goes inside the bathroom and after a few minutes he come out and saw Jin-Hyung sleeping like a baby
'is it okay if I do this...is it okay to...or it's not okay to do it...arghh let it be'
Namjoon put his lips on Jin forehead for a few minutes and smiled...worth it
"Hyung please hurry and remember"
Namjoon whisper at Jin...but can Jin even hear it? Of course not he's sleeping that's why he did that...After that Namjoon took the extra blanket and pillow in his closet and sleep on the couch
--
"Namjoon-ah wake up!'
Namjoon can feel someone shaking his arm...hard
"5 more minutes pleasee.."
Namjoon turns his back from Jin and continue sleeping
"That's what you said 5 minutes ago..come on and get up I'm gonna go to the company together with Sunhi today"
Hearing that woman names make Namjoon opened his eyes...wide
It have been 2 weeks since then...Nothing happens between them..it scared Namjoon instead Jin relationship with Sunhi-ssi had become more and more close since then it also scares him
"Forget it...I'm going to prepared myself and after that we will go to the company together..okay hyung?"
"What? No I've promised her... she's downstairs and you will go to the company alone today okay since I'm going to have breakfast with her too...so I'm sorry that I can't cook you breakfast today okay Namjoon-ah"
Before Jin can leave him, Namjoon grab his arm
"Hyung go to the company together with me please... don't go with her"
"Yah Namjoon-ah I've promised her...maybe next time okay"
Namjoon mumbled
"You've said that 5 days in a row"
"You said something Namjoon-ah?"
"No nothing have a great day"
"Yeah I will see you at the company then...bye Namjoon-ah"
"Bye hyung"
After Jin has lost from his sight...Namjoon ruffled his hair
"Arghhh...nothing is going right...why did this keep on happening...I have to stop them I have to... Yoongi-hyung"
Namjoon quickly get up and prepared himself in less than 10 minutes he grab his car key and drove straight to the company and he didn't even bother to have breakfast right now..he can't let Jin-Hyung go to someone else other than him
--
"Yoongi-hyung..."
Namjoon run towards Yoongi who is sitting on a chair while playing with his phone
"Namjoon-ah what's wrong?"
Yoongi can see Namjoon's troubled face quickly and pull a chair giving Namjoon time to sit and took a breather
"Jin-Hyung... it's Jin-Hyung"
"Why what's wrong with him?"
"Nothing goes right... everyday,every minute he became more and more chummy with Sunhi-ssi...when I ask him about lunch, dinner or breakfast he will say that he had them with Sunhi-ssi
When I ask him if he wanted to watch his favourite drama with me he will said that he had watched them with Sunhi-ssi...Hyung help me I don't know what to do"
Yoongi sigh and before he could start talking he heard a loud thud outside of the practice room
"Just come in you guys"
After that the door opened and V,Jimin, J-Hope and Jungkook came in
"Seriously?"
Yoongi crossed his arms while looking at each members
"We were just curious because all of sudden Namjoon-hyung came and the first thing that he do is running to where you are...so we thought that there's something wrong...should we go now..then we will be on our way"
Before Jimin and the others go out Namjoon stop them
"You know what.. it's okay come here and sit I will let you guys hear my problem this time around"
Their face light up and they quickly took a seat sorrounding Namjoon and Yoongi
"So I will go on..so you don't know what to do to get Jin-Hyung attention anymore right?"
Namjoon nodded his head
"Well first of all let just calm down... we've got plenty of time"
"For Sunhi-ssi yes she had plenty of time to make Jin-Hyung became hers...but me it's the total opposite... every month he will forget about our relationship... Sunhi-ssi can make him remember her every month...while me I don't have anything every month I have to work hard to get back his heart...Help me hyung"
"I have an idea"
Jungkook raise his hand as if he was in a school
"What if we help you...we will find our time to make sure Jin-Hyung and Sunhi nuna can't make time for each other"
"You would do that?"
Namjoon ask them and they smiled
"Of course we will hyung...we've seen how devoted you are to Jin-Hyung to know how in love you are with him...but you see hyung we have slight problem I think"
Jimin scratch his head and ask Jungkook
"What's it Jungkook-ah?"
"Well you see when they are in the company,yes we can split them up but when it come to when we got back home and when we are on our way to the company it's a bit hard you know"
Namjoon smile at them
"Well I will take care of that...the thought of you guys helping me is enough you know...Thank you very much you guys"
All of them smiled at Namjoon
"Well anything for you Namjoon-ah... anything"
J-Hope smile and patted Namjoon's head...they were all smiling and continue with their plans that's before the sight of two people getting in the practice room
Jin and Sunhi-ssi...and Namjoon can't help but spotted how Sunhi-ssi hand nicely linked with Jin's arm while they were laughing about something
"Guys we are on"
V whisper to the members and in a second they run towards Jin and Sunhi-ssi to split them up...Jungkook look at Namjoon and wink his eye giving him signal to go and get his man back
"Ermmm... Jin-Hyung you're pretty late although you're the one go out from the house first"
"Well Sunhi said that the day after tomorrow is her mother birthday and ask me to accompany me to buy her mother a gift"
"Ouh right..then that's good I think"
"Yeah and I'm planning on meeting her mother you know"
Namjoon seems nervous about it and he accidentally ask him
"Why?"
"What did you mean why? She's my childhood friend of course I have to go and see her mom...you know Namjoon-ah you seem a bit weird for the last two weeks like there's something bothering you...care to talk to me about it?"
"No thanks...and thanks for asking but I'm fine hyung"
"Well you said it...and Namjoon-ah I'm sorry but you have to go home alone again later because I have promised with Sunhi to have dinner together"
Jin just grinned while Namjoon...oh god who knew what is he feeling right now
"But you promised me yesterday hyung"
"Yeah I know that and I'm sorry"
"You've said that for 5 days in a row..hyung you promised me"
"That's why I promise you that we will go to the company and go back home together tomorrow okay?"
"You know what that's okay...Just don't make a promise you can't keep it makes me mad and sad"
Namjoon get out of the practice room looking annoyed,mad,sad all of it at the same time but he can hear Jin-Hyung called out to him from inside the practice room
--
It's been 2 days since then and Namjoon don't even speak a word to Jin and Jin also didn't speak a word to him too because he thought that Namjoon needs time alone...but what he need is someone to comfort him that's it but it seems like he doesn't care
Namjoon woke up from his sleep and the first thing that he know is... Jin-Hyung is not here..Why?
Today is Sunhi-ssi mother's birthday so he's going to her house and maybe they will be back later than usual...Namjoon get up and prepared himself take his car key and drove to the company.. Breakfast? He's too tired to take it he's been too heartbroken this month..it hurts
"Namjoon-ah...are you sure you're okay?"
Yoongi look at Namjoon's face..he looks miserable in his eyes although if anyone else looks at him they will said that he looks fine
"Yeah I'm okay just a bit tired"
"Just don't push yourself okay"
"Alright thanks hyung"
"You're welcome Namjoon-ah"
--
Jin-Hyung said that he will be back at 10 p.m. but Namjoon have waited for 30 minutes still no sign of him yet and finally he took his coat and his hat and goes straight to the ground floor only to see a scene that he would never want to see in his life
Jin-Hyung is kissing Sunhi-ssi in his car...
yes you may said how can you see it's dark...but he parks his card under the street light how can't Namjoon not seen that scene...it breaks his heart...his tears dropped one by one...he's broken cannot be fixed again...then he grab his car key and goes to his car
Thank god he wear a hat that way he can hide himself from Jin-Hyung and Sunhi-ssi...right now Namjoon needs a shoulder to cry on...he needs an ear to listen to his rants...he needs a warm hugs to calm him down
As soon as he reach the members house he cried in front of them...he doesn't care if they said that he lost his cool, right now he's too miserable to think of anything and that night he was drowned in the darkness..he's hopelessly too in love with Jin until he can't blame anybody else than himself he hurt himself till this extent
A phone called 'My love Jin' were written but Namjoon doesn't bother to pick it up he wanted to be alone.. he's too broken
--
Although the members said that Namjoon can take a day off to calm himself down he refused to do so because he knew that it would take a long time for him to calm himself after that..
"You should stay at home and rest hyung"
V said in a worried tone
"Yeah you should do that..we won't be angry at you"
J-Hope try to bribe him but he just smile while shook his head
"No it's okay I can do this.. besides I'm the leader, I have to be there with you guys"
"But we also want to be there with you too hyung..please just rest hyung"
Jimin begged him he can't sees the leader like that it's too heartbroken
"No it's okay I'm okay let's go..but I don't think I can drive can you drive Yoongi-hyung?"
Yoongi just nodded and ask for the key
As soon as they reach the company they can see Jin and Sunhi-ssi outside being chummy with each other...It makes Namjoon wanted to cry again but he can feel a soft hand patting his back..He smiled at Jungkook
When they got out of the car Jin rushed towards Namjoon and pulled his hand
"We need to talk"
Namjoon pulled back his hand
"We don't have anything to talk about hyung"
"Yes we do..where are you last night and why weren't you answering my call?"
"Hyung...sigh lets talk inside"
They agreed and make their way to the practice room..the others member look at them worriedly but Namjoon just show them an ok sign with his hand telling them it's alright he got this
"Now explain"
Jin looked at Namjoon and cross his arms showing that he's serious
"Look I'm sorry but I thought that you would not come home yesterday and I crash at the members house and for the phone I muted it when I was working on a lyrics yesterday and forgot to turn it back on"
Jin just sigh
"Well that's okay just don't forget to tell me after this okay?"
Namjoon smiled although it hurts him..he know he had to ask this
"And you hyung why did you go back home late yesterday?"
Jin become red...Namjoon hated it he hates it to his gut
"I have some problems"
"You know what, if you can't tell me then that's fine..I'm leaving"
Namjoon is scared he doesn't want to look at Jin-Hyung's face it makes him wanted to cry...before Namjoon can even leave Jin grab his arm
"No wait...I have some confession to make"
Namjoon knows it gonna hurt him but he ask him
"What is it?"
"I confessed my feelings to Sunhi yesterday that's why I'm late"
"So that means you guys fuck right?"
Namjoon knows he's being rude and he's sorry for that
"Wait what... Namjoon-ah what are you talking about?"
"Obviously you have been an idol for a long times...you can't have a relationship and when they lifted up that rules you're going to find yourself a woman right"
Namjoon snapped at Jin...and Jin also snapped at him
"You're being rude right now Namjoon-ah"
"Yeah I know and I didn't even regret it...now that you guys have done it you can break up right?"
After that Namjoon can feel his cheek become hot...Jin just slapped him
"Don't you dare equate Sunhi with whore Namjoon-ah!"
"You're just not fair hyung!"
"And why is that!"
Namjoon took a deep breath
"I work hard for 2 years making sure you didn't forget about me...I woke up every month being heart broken seeing you forget about our relationship every month and it hurts me seeing how you always prioritize Sunhi-ssi on everything when in fact..in fact!"
Namjoon can't hold it in he cried while Jin who is right now is too angry with Namjoon can't even realize that Namjoon is crying grab his collar
"In fact what?!"
"In fact it was me who took care of you when you didn't even wake up for months...when you wake up every morning asking where you are...It was me who took care after you for the whole months and yet you do that to me! To me!"
"I didn't even ask for you to care about me! Why did you even bother to took care of me?!"
"Because I love you...I love you that it hurts I love you that it makes me lose myself!"
"What do you mean by you love me?! We aren't even in that kind of relationship!"
"You've had an accident and because of that every month you will forgot about our relationship..do you even know hyung..do you?"
Namjoon voice tone down a bit he's too tired of yelling and crying at the same time...he's tired
"So what you've been telling me is that we're in a relationship all this years?! And how can you even prove that... you're just an obsessed maniac Namjoon-ah and it disgusted me!"
That word hurt Namjoon...he know he had to pull back and said he's sorry but that word, it hurts him so much
"How could you say that?! How dare you!"
"Huh how dare me...alright let's believe you then we are in a relationship then I think I had the right to say this right.."
"Don't.."
Namjoon begging
"Namjoon-ah I think it's better for us to break up and I didn't want to see you ever again...After years of being friends I think it's better that I never know you and I think between you or me one of us needs to leave the group"
"Hyung no,how could you said that...I would not leave the group I would die than leave them...you promised that you wouldn't leave me!"
"Just when did I make that kind of promise with you?!"
"Hyung please I can't live without you"
Namjoon's tired too tired...Jin look at Namjoon's eyes he feels disgusted towards him
"Then die Namjoon-ah"
"Hyung-"
"People like you are better off dead I hate seeing your face I hated it!"
Namjoon's shocked he try hard not to cry again
Namjoon gets up he walked towards the doors and look back at Jin
"I'm sorry for saying bad things about Sunhi-ssi and about you...maybe we were better off as a stranger right? I'm sorry I...sniff..hurt you, good bye"
Only at that time Jin realized how bad he hurts Namjoon he ruffled his hair and then run to the door only to see a empty hallway
"Namjoon-ah!"
He called for Namjoon over and over, he asked a staff that was passing by
"Excuse me,have you seen Namjoon-ssi?"
"Namjoon-ssi? I saw him go to the downstairs...and I think you better get him because he is wobbling he might fall any second now"
"Alright thank you"
Jin stand in front of the lift but the lift took way to long to get upstairs so Jin used the emergency staircase instead, he rushed to the ground floor as fast as he could but still he can't find Namjoon
--
Namjoon walk leaving the practice room with tears filling his eyes and one by one the tears fell down, he knows that one day this kind of thing will happen and he said it to himself 2 years ago but who know it will end like this
What he needs now is the members support..he wanted a warm hugs, he needs it
"Hello Yoongi-hyung"
'Namjoon-ah are you okay what's going on?'
"We broke up..I- I-...I need help hyung"
'We're at the cafe in front of the company...you just wait at where you are I will be there in a minute'
"No hyung...I will come to where you are..give me 2 minutes"
'Are you sure Namjoon-ah'
"Yes hyung just wait there..bye"
Namjoon put his phone back in the pocket and make his way to the cafe
--
Namjoon's mind is full of thought, full of the words sorry and full of regret that even the busy and loud street cannot bother him...
he's tired,scared and mad at himself for what he said to Jin-Hyung
'Maybe Jin-Hyung is right...I will be better off dead'
That's what he thought before he could hear a loud voice calling for him... Namjoon turns his head and see Jin-Hyung standing in front of the company calling for him while Namjoon...he didn't realize that right now he's standing at the middle of the road
"Namjoon-ah what are you doing there it's dangerous!"
Namjoon can't hear what Jin said and he walk towards Jin before he heard a loud horns beside him
"Namjoon-ah sto-"
BAM!!
Everything went black...he can't see the only thing that he hears is how a lot of people asking him is he okay...is he alive...why did he was standing at the middle of the road
With all the might that he got he opened his eyes only to see Jin-Hyung running towards him..The members that was sitting in the cafe were already in front of him
"Namjoon-hyung!"
He could see Jungkook,V,Jimin sitting beside him holding back their tears and he can also see how worried Yoongi-hyung face
Namjoon smiles to the members
"This is the first time I see your worried face hyung"
Namjoon try to laugh but his chest,his back it hurts so much and he can feel the blood flowing from his mouth and head
"Namjoon-ah don't talk it will make it worse"
All of the other members were crying asking Namjoon not to do anything and wait for help to arrive
"Hey, I'm sorry I am not a good leader and-"
Namjoon cough...and blood came out from his mouth
"Hyung don't talk please...we beg you"
Jungkook holds his hand and Namjoon just smiled because he also felt tired... Jin-Hyung that's sitting beside him look at him with tears filling his eyes
Namjoon hold the older cheek and smile
"I'm sorry hyung"
"Namjoon-ah it's my fault please don't be sorry"
After that they could hear the ambulance sirens coming toward them... Namjoon's who is becoming weaker and weaker looks at Yoongi-hyung
"Give that thing to Jin-Hyung okay hyung"
Seeing how weak Namjoon is right now Yoongi can't help but cry..his hand was drenched in Namjoon's blood he don't want to lose his friends and leader neither does the members
On his way to the hospital Jin sat beside Namjoon holding his hand to make sure he doesn't go to sleep or close his eyes
"Namjoon stay with me"
Namjoon smiled at him
"You're mean hyung...saying that right now"
Although Jin is a bit clueless he looks at Namjoon with this guilty feeling inside him growing up
"Hyung...when Yoongi-hyung gave you a key I wanted you to take it and use the key to open the first drawer in the bedroom"
Namjoon try to talk to Jin although he can feel his head throbbing hard
"Sir please refrain yourself from talking"
The paramedic beside Namjoon stop him from saying anything
"But you said you lost the key"
Namjoon want to answer Jin but he lost his voice after seeing Jin-Hyung tears, instead Namjoon move his mouth to form a word
'I lied,sorry'
--
The hospital hallway is quite, the only things that can be heard is the members crying, a phone call and there's Jin who sit there remembering back the thing that he said to Namjoon a couple of minutes before the accident
'Then die Namjoon-ah'
'You're better off dead'
Jin squeezed his hands regretting what he had said to Namjoon at that time
"Jin-Hyung can I talk to you for a second?"
Jin lifted up his head and saw Yoongi is standing in front of him
"Yeah sure what is it?"
"Not here... let's go outside"
Jin just followed Yoongi footsteps as they reach a park outside of the hospital, they took a seat at the nearest bench
"Jin-Hyung can I ask you some questions?"
"Sure"
"Did you know that you've had an accident 2 years ago?"
Jin thought that Yoongi is joking but seeing his expression he know that he's serious
--------------
To be continued......