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the view in front of him was beautiful.
it was sunset, a vast array of pink and orange painted across the sky, dark blue up above if you squinted, spread like a shadow, the white clouds having a twinge of gray and fading into the soft colors across his vision. the particular hedgehog sat on a cliff overlooking a small town, the grass tickling the hand planted on the ground to keep him from falling, a line of trees in the distance behind him.
the smoke coming from Sonics cigarette helped.
the embers that flicked into the air, sometimes landing on his wrist or thigh and singing the fur that laid there, glowing bright and catching his eye more than anything in front of him, the smoke of the end floating up and away, the dark grey vanishing from sight after a few seconds.
suddenly he felt a cough build up in him and gasped, dropping the cigarette and his hand flew up to his chest, coughing violently.it felt like it went on for way longer than it should've, throat feeling dry and raspy at the end.
Sonic looked down to see the cigarette tumbled down the cliff, a burn mark that someone with less pain tolerance would be on the verge of tears about on his left thigh. Sonic simply sighed, pressing on it and hissing at the fresh spark of pain. every breath he took was ever so slightly labored, and yet he kept doing this.he could just stop at any time, he knew that, right? and yet he kept doing this, kept hurting himself, and it certainly didn't help than he ran every day over speeds faster than any car or plane, fast enough to blow out his own hearing if he wasn't careful enough and his lungs were the one thing more important than his legs.
after a few seconds, he drew another cigarette and pulled out his lighter, putting it in his mouth and shielding the flame from the light breeze until it caught, then pulled it back and exhaled, feeling the stress blow right out of him again.
this was going to be a long day.
it's just to relieve stress.
he could always stop.
but god, he couldn't focus right now.they were at a meeting about this new threat against the resistance, and he could distinctly hear Knuckles and Amy arguing with each other but couldn't focus on words. his arm itched so badly, yet whenever he scratched it just got worse.
"..onic?Sonic?"Sonics ear flicked, blinking and saw that everyone's eyes were on him." are you okay?"
"uh-"Sonic glanced to the door barely slow enough for someone to notice and nodded, putting on a small smile."I'm fine Tails, I'm gonna take a five-minute break.clear my head, kay? bye-!"
within seconds he was out of the base before someone could stop him, feeling the ground beneath him pass in a blur, feet barely hitting the ground as he passed the tree line. the wind blowing past him only made him breath quicker, breaths starting to heave until he suddenly couldn't handle it, stopping at an instant and sliding a few feet as he landed on his knees.
he forced air in and out, in and out, in and out until he could think, head still spinning with a thousand silent thoughts and yet completely blank.there was a deep weight on his chest, making it hard, oh fuck why was it hard to breathe,it wasn't like this before right? who knows, he's almost 16 or 17 by now.its probably just him getting old.
nothing to do with the fact he was already scrambling for his pack of Camel Reds and thunder lighter with shaky hands.
not related at all.
he quickly opened the pack and grabbed one, lighting it with a painful amount of waiting and took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly with a sad chuckle as he felt that itch from before slowly vanish.
god, even his voice was starting to get raspy. of course it was, he picked up this habit and he went too fast, the addiction hit hard and faster than he could've predicted.it only made sense that the effects of smoking would hit way quicker than a normal person. he felt that weight from before slowly get lighter, yet not completely leave.
he was stressed.this was so much anxiety, he had never felt this nervous and unsure before. maybe if he just waited another week before trying this alternative he would be fine, getting kidnapped and-and-all that horrible shit with Eggman, it wasn't that big of a deal.it was only 6 months.he'd gone through worse.
then why the fuck was he here now?
ah,right.because he has to face Eggman again, and he has to stop the person that got him trapped in the first place. the person who can literally trap you with your worst nightmares, the person that can drive you insane with just one hit and you can't tell what's happening and what's fabricated.
......oh god, he's gonna die from this shit before he gets to 24, isn't he.
he knew everyone was worried about him too.he has singe and burn marks across his fur where the wind blew embers in unfortunate ways, noticed the occasional circle burns, and sure as hell would notice this was the second time he had left a meeting.
second time today, at least.
this didn't even count the marks he had from that 6 month period, light bags under his eyes from not enough sleep only made worse from constant nightmares he forced himself to not make a sound when he woke up from, little marks on his neck, some large scabs across his arms and legs, bits of fur that grew back improperly.
he was an absolute mess, and he knew this was gonna get questioned soon. Sonic realized he had gone through his cigarette already, assuming he hadn't been gone for too long, and lit another.
suddenly he felt a heavy gush of air behind him and yelped, quickly standing up and hiding the cigarette behind his back, scooting the butt of his last behind him with a foot.there was Shadow, looking him up and down with his arms crossed, frown on his face as always.
Sonic forced himself to smile despite the burn he felt on his back, notifying him he hadn't been too careful with his arm. "heya Shads, what's up?"
Shadow simply bent down and picked up the cigarette pack he had completely forgotten about, Sonics smile quickly falling. "what's this?"
".....uh."
"..."
"..."
"Is this yours?"
".....yeah."
Sonic had never been so nervous before, sighing quietly and drew his arm back, taking a small puff and watching in curiosity as Shadow drew one, signaling for a lighter and lit it as soon as Sonic threw it to him."..soo.are you gonna, tell on me or-?"
"no, I don't see why.i could easily ruin your reputation but this is your decision and I don't have any fucks to give, faker."
"...oh."
"you know you owe me that back at some point, right?"
"fuck off."