Work Text:
It's been years since Saihara left Danganronpa. After he, Maki, and Himiko got out, they all decide not to forget each other and their friends that died in the killing game. The team tried to buy their silence, which worked for a while since they nowhere else to go, but then they all kept their word on shutting it down by speaking against the evils they put into a TV show, after all getting jobs.
Now they all live in the small town, not too far but not too close either all in their Mid-Twenties. One night Saihara found himself thinking about the killing game and all he held dear within it. Try to befriend Kirumi not as a maid. Posing with Gonta and Himiko. Watch Miu spoke all her vulgar words. Fluster Kiibo somehow. The training nights with Kaito(he still does them with Maki). Walking around the school with Kaede and her positive attitude. And.....try and pick out Kokichi's lies.
That last one it...hurts. A lot. Hurts because he told Kokichi once they got out they would stay by each other sides. He would learn about Kokichi, be able to pick out his lies, and possibly... No. That would've never happen.
Saihara thought about this for a while till a thought popped in his mind.
You could always find out. You know. The recording.
Ugh. These thoughts have been happening since he got the hard drives. The thoughts, like of protection is some sort, come other times but they're the loudest about the hard drives. The hard drives. Where Shuichi could watch the recording of all the participants that TeamDanganronpa gave to them after the came out. One for each of the “students” in the game. They all said they wouldn't watch them. But...a look won't hurt now, would it?
Shuichi shook his head at the atrocious thought at invading Ouma privacy even if he is dead, it's wrong, dead or alive.
But Ouma wanted you to learn about him. So this would be respecting his wishes.
Really? this argument again? Shuichi had to say, he got real pissed at his mind some times. Because sometimes it's right. Ouma had wanted Shuichi to learned about him, probably why he asked him to join DICE so much, but he argued back with his mind that Kokichi only wanted to be learned about, when he was alive and we'll and it was final. Well, was final until his mind argued back with a new statement Shuichi never thought about. Shuichi refused to think about it that event. But his own mind is fed up with the denial that he fought against himself, or was even him thinking about this?
He said he wanted to steal your heart, which obviously meant your love and affection, And I don’t think he would care or maybe he’d even encourage you to do it. No. You know what. He IS encouraging you to do it. NOW.
He doesn't know what compelled him to get up and listen to this thought but he did and walked out of his bedroom and found himself holding Ouma’s Drive from the killing game and the computer ready to go.
Sahara thought a moment if he should stop but it was like an invisible force slowly and softly guided him to the most moment and he felt it deep down, he couldn't turn back now. So he plugged it into his laptop to which a lot of named videos popped up all with different titles, one, however, seemed to be in Bold letters, But some said to delete them for unknown reasons. Mess-ups maybe?
He clicked on one of the videos.
Why Hello Monokuma! I know for a fact that the outside world is a joke and you think we're all gonna die! But here's the thing, I kiiiiiiiinda can't let do that. See, as you were probably watching, I told my Shumai that after we get out, we stay by each other sides, so yeah, oh and I found your little ’Motherkuma’ so if you don’t want that broken you should probably leave my Beloved alone , and let ‘em leave. I promise you if DICE WILL come after you and even if we have a no violence policy, I still have other friends who DON'T. So put some kind of protection on my love, or so fucking help me-
Shuichi stopped the video. Did Kokichi just...
He clicked on another video.
Heeey whoever is watching this! I currently just saw my beloved but he did something today. And it isn't what I... expected. Today I told him if wants to know me. He should stay by my side but instead of laughing at me or looking at me with disgust he took my hand. He took my offer. It was a lie but he still....Weeeeellllll that another story for another time. Goodie-bye!
The video ended there.
Ouma really...
He clicked another.
Hi Hi! Today everyone was suuuuuuuuuppppppppeeeerrrr mean today! Like sure I manipulated Gonta into killing Miu but it was only to save you all! And my Shumai said the worst thing today! ’You're alone, Kokichi and you always will be’ Like duh, that's what I am trying to do dummy detective. If y'all don't hate me this would be for nothing! All my planning would....go to...... .waste.
Sahara heard buttons being pushed in the camera and the screen went black so it was over.
Until he heard quiet crying come through his computer.
He stared the screen a little harder to see a plum mop a hair buried in his pillow, small form shaking and sobbing in the dark room. It wasn't like him to hid his tears. Normally, he'd be wailing loudly and getting everyone's attention. But this was almost silent with the low singing that Saihara the mic picked up on it almost sounded like winded barely brushing against it.
But it was most definitely Kokichi crying, over what though? Him killing Gonta and Miu? No one recognizing his plan? Or was it-
It’s what you said and Gonta’s and Miu’s deaths. Stupid.
His head is being quite loud today. He tried to ignore his thoughts but they never went away like usually. It was like this is what his brain has-been waiting for him to do. Going back on a promise, still felt wrong put there was one last video that That caught his eye.
Confession
Confession? Confession to what?
He clicked on the video
Hey, if you're watching this you better not be Kaito ’cause I told you not to watch this and I'll kick your ass from hell. But if you're my beloved Shumai. Hi.....*takes a deep breath* I LIKE YOU...........................I..................love you, Shuichi................ Ok, Byyyye! *Blows a kiss at the camera*
He...loved me? He loved me. And I didn't realize this until now? The fourth trail. He wasn't lying. How... How could I? Say that to him when?.....
He starter crying at his own stupidity and blindness. All the signs were right there. He wanted his heart, he said wanted to stay with him, he called him beloved for god’s sake! How could he call himself a detective when he can't even see the clearest. And the fact his feelings weren't unrequited stung because he never got to tell him. If only he wasn't so...so... STUPID. Maybe if he did, just maybe, he’d still be here!
Shuichi kept crying until the voice in his head made its presence known.
Nonononononono. It wasn't your fault! He made himself a bad guy so you thought he was lying like usual! You were just doing your job as a detective! You couldn’t have known! It isn’t your fault Shumai!
But it was his fault! An Ultimate Detective would've spotted it easily! He wasn't a real detective but he thought like one. And he didn't even think about Ouma returning his feelings. Why didn't he-
Wait a goddamn second.
Did his own mind call him...Shumai?
He sat there a while before his thoughts spoke to him again.
It isn't your fault. You know this. So stop blaming yourself cause you couldn't have known. Even if you did you know Ouma-kun would just lie his way out or run away. Either way, you wouldn't have gotten an answer in time to tell him.
He tried to reject this truth but his mind wouldn't let him. So he accepted it but he won't let go. He couldn't. He refused to. And his mind couldn't persuade him otherwise. So he took out the hard drive, plugged up his laptop, shut it down, and went back to bed with puffy red eyes. He checked the time to realized it was 1:56 am.
He laid in his bed thinking back in the videos he just watching and the confession that came with it. This started up the waterworks again but something was different this time. He felt warm and safe. Like a hug........Maybe if he...
”I’m sorry for not noticing, and I love you too, Ouma-kun.”
He fell asleep, warm feeling and all, not know what he just did to Ouma.
