Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Bakugou has always been a secure kid, he has always been able to hold his own ground, he also was able to accomplish anything that he put his mind to. Over the years this has changed though, he began to have a problem that affected his day to day life. 

Bakugou’s problem is depression, he didn't understand why he felt this way. He had always been a happy kid so it just didn't make any sense as to why he felt this way. 

Maybe it was caused by the kidnapping or his attitude that pushed many people out of his life. Bakugou probably would never know why he has depression, all he knows is that some days he felt worthless. 

Bakugou did have one person in his life though, his name was Kirishima. Kirishima and Bakugou were called friends by many people, Bakugou didn't see it though. 

Bakugou didn't see Kirishima as a friend, he only saw him as a person that tries to talk to him a lot. Bakugou would never admit that he actually liked having Kirishima around, he’d rather die than admit that. 

Bakugou often found himself comparing himself to his classmates. His classmates were strong, and had amazing personalities. Bakugou felt as though he was nothing compared to them, this caused him to feel as if he was going insane at times. 

The blonde has always had trouble showing his emotions, he struggled with showing that he was happy or sad. He felt as though people would judge him if he smiled, so he never did. The only time he would show any other emotion beside anger was when he would cry alone at night. 

Bakugou knew that he had problems, he didn't know who to talk to about it so he never did. Bakugou couldn't go to his mom about this because in fear of her seeing him weak, his father was for the same reason. Bakugou definitely couldn't talk to Kirishima about his problems because the redhead shouldn't have to deal with others' problems. 

There was one person who Bakugou used to talk to about everything though, Midoriya. Izuku Midoriya, or as Bakugou liked to call him, Deku. Midoriya was always the kindest and most honest person, both him and Bakugou used to be friends in middle school before Bakugou got his quirk.

They stopped being friends because Bakugou loathed the thought of people in his life, he felt like there was no reason to have anyone special. 

Bakugou abandoned Midoriya and regretted it, the blonde watched Midoriya get stronger and taller, it was hell in his eyes. All he's ever wanted was to just be close to Midoriya. It was all Bakugou's fault that he was like this. 

All Bakugou has ever wanted to be in life is strong. He wanted to be able to take on the world, but he knew that he couldn't and this was what was holding him back. The crushing thought of being a failure in life, Bakugou was unhappy with his life for some reason, he had yet to figure out why he felt this way. He felt like he was unwanted, a total reject to society.

The exertion of going through every day with a fake face was finally catching up to him. Bakugou faked putting on a face every day so that it wouldn't affect anyone else, he never wanted to be a nuisance. 

Bakugou felt worthless at school, every day he would yell and curse out his fellow classmates, take his built up anger out on them.  Being temperamental was a big issue for Bakugou, he couldn't control that part of him, it was too difficult. Bakugou knew that people hated it for him but it was better this way. 

Bakugou self-harmed, he himself did not think that it would be considered self-harm since he deserved it. Many of his nights were spent letting his quirk burn the top layer of his skin on his thighs. 

He didn't understand why he self-harmed, it just felt as though it was helping him. Burning himself gave him control of what he was making himself feel, he couldn't control his emotions but burning gave him the control of his pain. 

He just wanted to feel in control again, like when he was a kid. He can still remember the first time that he burned his thigh.

It was in the school bathroom at lunch. Kirishima had shown him something on his plate which had somehow then fallen on his uniform, so Bakugou went to the bathroom to clean the disgusting school food off of his clothes. 

While cleaning off the food his quirk went off, burned a bit of his skin on his arm. He didn't think too much of it until he looked down at the small burn mark. The red skin stood out against his pale complexion, it made him want more.

Bakugou had actually burned  his arms for a week before his teacher pointed it out. Bakugou told his teacher it was just because he was training too much, that was not true at all.

The next day Bakugou burned in a place that was much harder to see, his thigh. After that he only self-harmed on his thigh, no one ever noticed it. Bakugou learned quickly to just ignore the people that asked how he was doing. 

Bakugou’s dad clearly knew that was something going on with his son, he just didn't know what. His mom on the other hand never really talked to Bakugou. 

Bakugou talked to his dad everyday if he had the chance to, he found it relaxing when he talked to his dad, it always helped the terrible thoughts go away. Bakugou’s mom was much different, it was only yelling with her around. 

As life went on Bakugou trained and worked hard on trying to get the best grades and number one spot as a hero in training. 

Feeling worthless was always in the back of Bakugou’s head, it never left no matter what he did. Some days it was more present while on other days it was barely ever there. On the days that it was present Bakugou stayed in his dorm room alone, he didn't come out for food.

Kirishima was often worried for his friend when these days happened, he would knock for hours on Bakugou's door only to get no response. Kirishima knew that he shouldn't try and pry into his friends private life but at times it just made him worry too much.

Other people in Bakugou’s class also noticed his odd behavior, many believed he was just being moody while others believed that he was going through something. 

Midoriya was the first to notice the change in Bakugou. Over the years he slowly saw the blonde change, saw him withdraw from people, even saw the shine that was once in Bakugou’s eyes disappear. 

Midoriya had zero clues on why Bakugou was acting this way, all he knew was that he cared for Bakugou too much to see him go through this alone. 

Chapter Text

“What in the actual fuck shitty hair!” Bakugou shouts angrily at Kirishima with a frown on his face. Kirishima laughs at Bakugou’s reaction before taking a step back just in case Bakugou wanted to actually explode. It was a Monday morning and Kirishima was already annoying Bakugou. 

“Hey, I thought it was funny!” Kirishima says with a bright smile on his face, his sharp teeth slightly poke out. “You got a little spooked, it’s okay!” Kirishima says while trying not to laugh at Bakugou’s angry face. Bakugou rolls his eyes at the redhead before walking away. 

“What the fuck ever!” Bakugou shouts angrily. Kirishima had sneaked up behind Bakugou while he was closing the door to his dorm. This made Bakugou flinch from the sudden movement behind him, Kirishima has yet to let him live it down. 

“Oh come on Blasty!” “Oh come on Blasty!” Kirishima says while trying to catch up to the angry blonde. Bakugou had barely gotten any sleep during the night, he was just able to sleep more than two hours. He was exhausted and was definitely not ready for the long day that was ahead of him. 

After Bakugou yells and tries to explode Kirishima’s face-off they both make their way to their first class. Kirishima and Bakugou walk into class and immediately have Kaminari throwing himself on both boys with a wail. 

“Please save me, Mina says she plans to dye my hair!” Kaminari cries out while clinging to Kirishima and Bakugou. Kirishima laughs loudly while trying to hold onto the squirming blonde. Bakugou on the other hand tries to forcefully push the other blonde off of himself, when he succeeds he takes a seat at his rightful desk. 

“Mina, try to do it blue!” Kirishima says while messing up Kaminari’s short hair. Kaminari cries out in terror at Kirishima’s words. Mina then runs over and grabs the sides of Kaminaris head chanting ‘electric blue’ over and over again. 

Bakugou stares at Kirishima, Kaminari, and Mina. Bakugou was jealous of them, he wished that he was as happy as they were. Bakugou hated that he couldn't experience actually being happy for once. 

“Hey you okay bro?” Kirishima asks Bakugou, the blonde snaps his head to look up at the redhead. Bakugou hated that Kirishima had just caught him not paying attention. 

“What the fuck?” Bakugou says while pushing Kirishima’s concerned face away from his face. 

“You looked in a daze, didn't mean to startle you or anything. You had a sad look on your face,” Kirishima says to Bakugou with a concerned look in his eyes. Bakugou only rolls his eyes at the redheads' words. 

“I don’t get sad looks you shitty haired morron,” Bakugous says with a sneer that showed off his top row of teeth. Kirishima holds his hands up in surrender in hopes of not angering the blonde too much. 

“Oh alright, well you know you have me and the other to talk to if anything is going on right?” Kirishima tells Bakugou with a small smile on his face in hopes of lightening the mood.  Kirishima is always ready to help one of his friends out whenever they need it, he grew up not having many people and now that he has them he never wanted to let them go. 

“Yeah, whatever,” Bakugou says while rolling his eyes at Kirishima’s words. Kirishima stares at Bakugou for a moment before sighing. 

“Just remember that we are always here for you bro,” Kirishima says with a smile on his face. All Kirishima wanted Bakugou to know was that he is always there for him. 

“Oh fuck off!” Bakugou growls out with a little frown Bakugou hated when Kirishima told him these things, it always made his heart warm. 

Bakugou always felt bad that he never talked to Kirishima about anything personal. Kirishima always told him to come to him if he ever needed to get something off his chest yet he never did. 

Kirishima goes back over to Mina and Kaminari who are now trying on each other's shoes. Bakugou watches them mess around and talk about various things, he really wished he was like them.

As soon as the bell rings everyone sits down and waits for the teacher to come into the classroom. The class goes by quickly, Bakugou sat attentively through the entire class like always while Kirishima and the others goofed off. 

As soon as class was over he went onto the next one and then the next after that, before Bakugou knew it lunch had arrived. He normally ate lunch alone if he was lucky, most times Kirishima nagged Bakugou to come eat lunch with the group, he declined just like he always does.

Bakugou liked eating alone for some reason, it was probably because he felt uncomfortable when eating around people. Feeling uncomfortable when eating around other people had actually started up when Bakugou was young, he even told Midoriya about it. 

Bakugou also ate very little, he didn't like big meals nor did he like anything that sat heavy on the stomach. It wasn't like Bakugou was afraid to put on weight, he just didn't like the thought of eating a lot of food. 

So for lunch Bakugou grabbed an apple and a water bottle, he often ate this for dinner but he was a little more hungry today. After Bakugou grabs the apple and water bottle he goes to his dorm room. Going to his dorm room was a bit of a walk but it was far better than sitting at an empty table in the lunchroom. 

Once lunch was over Bakugou went back to his classes to finish up the day. As soon as he finished all his classes he went back to his dorm to change into some work out clothes before going to the training room. 

Kirishima and Sero were the ones who Bakugou normally trained with. It was very rare for Bakugou to train with Mina, only because she would roast his training clothes. 

Kirishima was Bakugou’s favorite person to spare with, they often went over moves that would later be used in batel. Bakugou has seen Kirishima get more advanced with his fighting moves, Bakugou felt as though he has not improved at all. 

Bakugou knew that Kirishima couldn't train with him today since he was staying after school to work on his failing grades. So Bakugou went to train alone, he didn't mind because it just meant he would be getting some peace and quiet for once. 

As soon as Bakugou’s fist punched at the punching bag he got lost in his own thoughts. He punched and kicked until his muscles screamed at him to stop. 

That night Bakugou went straight back to his dorm room and face planted on his bed. He liked training, it helped him focus on the important things. Bakugou laid on his bed for a few minutes before letting sleep overtake his mind. 

Chapter Text

“Oh you have got to be kidding me…” Bakugou whispers to himself as more tears begin to make their way down his cheeks. 

Bakugou loathed the bad days, it was around midnight and Bakugou was sitting in his bathroom on the floor.

It had all started after he got out of his fifth class of the day. Bakugou was minding his own damn business until he heard people talking about him loudly in the hallway. This wasn't an unusual thing, many people talked shit about Bakugou. 

Many people talked shit about Bakugou, it was just what people did because of his attitude towards them. Bakugou knew he came off rude but that would never stop their hurtful words from not hurting. 

Bakugou didn't pick a fight with them, instead he went straight to his dorm to take a cold shower. That cold shower turned into him crying on his bathroom floor for about ten hours. Bakugou tried not to let the words get to him, he really did try. It was no use though, no matter how hard he tried to forget it wasn't going to happen. 

So Bakugou cries, he tries to push out the sadness that rested deep inside his chest yet it couldn't stop or go away. His hands shake as he struggles to stop the flowing tears. He felt so numb at that moment, so hopeless, he felt worthless. 

Bakugou knew he looked weak sitting on the floor crying his eyes out. He couldn't help this though, he was a little okay with it since no one was around to see him in such a vulnerable state. 

That was until a knock was heard from the food of his dorm, a loud yet hesitant knock. Bakugou jumps from the sudden noise and tries to keep himself quiet in hopes that the person will leave. 

"Kaachan?" Bakugou freezes from the sudden voice that he knew. There was no way that Bakugou was going to let Midoriya see him like this. 

Bakugou and Midoriya were childhood friends, they did almost everything together. They were inseparable as children. This stopped once Bakugou got his quirk, he stopped hanging around Midoriya. 

Instead Bakugou made new friends in hopes to fill a space in his heart that was left open, different friends, rude friends. Bakugou's new friends bullied others and this caused Bakugou to do the same. 

Bakugou began to bully Midoriya, Bakugou hated himself for what he had caused Midoriya to go through. 

So once they got to high school he stopped everything, he stopped talking to everyone and focused on himself. Of course Bakugou still talked to people but he stopped having friends and stopped feeling happy. 

He didn't really know why he did this to himself. He believed that maybe it was so he could feel just a little bit of what Midoriya had to go through. Bakugou despised himself for what he had done, he wished he never did what he did to Midoriya. 

“I know you can hear me Kaachan,” Midoriya says before letting out a sigh from behind Bakugou’s dorm room door. 

“Just go away you nerd!” Bakugou shouts out while wiping his eyes. He was pissed over Midoriya knocking on his door and for being called that awful nickname. 

Midoriya’s eyes widened from hearing Bakugou’s voice, he sounded as if he had been crying. Midoriya has always watched Bakugou, made sure he wasn't struggling in class and making sure he wasn't getting into too many fights. 

“I can’t do that Kaachan,” Midoriya says with a small voice, Bakugou glares down at the floor. He hated when Midoriya sounded as if he was walking on eggshells. 

“Then what the fuck do you want?” Bakugou asks Midoriya, his throat hurt from talking. Crying for hours can do that to a voice but Bakugou tried not to think about it. 

Midoryia was a little astonished to hear a different tone from Bakugou, normally it was angry. 

Midoryia never knew why Bakugou bullied him and then left, well not left but completely stopped talking to him. Midoriya saw changes in Bakugou over the years, the way he closed off people and how he stopped having friends.

What Midoriya didn't understand was why Bakugou was going through these things. Midoryia missed the way how it used to be when they were both kids. He missed how they used to spend the night at each other's houses or the way that they used to just laugh and watch cartoons together. 

Both Bakugou and Midoriya rarely ever talked to each other. Midoryia would occasionally have to talk to him due to training or when they were out on missions. It was strange because both boys were almost always together. They had the same classes and were put on many missions together. 

“I just wanted to check on you, see if you are doing okay is all,” Midoriya tries to explain to Bakugou without pissing off the blonde. Midoriya tried not to make it seem like Bakugou couldn't take care of himself. He knew that Bakugou has always struggled with feeling weak. 

“Whatever, I’m fine. Now get the fuck out of here,” Bakugou says with a sigh, his eyes were starting to grow heaver and heaver with each passing second. Midoriya found it odd that Bakugou was being so quiet, normally he was at least more vulgar. 

“You know I’m always here if you need to talk about something,” Midoriya says quietly, he really did want Bakugou to come to him if he ever needed to talk. Bakugou rolls his eyes at Midoriya’s words. 

“Get lost loser, it’s late,” Bakugou says to Midoriya. The green haired boy lets out a sigh before running his hand through his short hair. 

“Just remember what I said Kaachan, night, sleep well,” Midoriya says before walking away. Bakugou only grunts in reply. Bakugou hated that hearing Midoriya’s voice helped him calm down just a little. 

Chapter Text

“Alright everyone be quiet I only want to say this once,” Aizawa says to the class with a tired expression. The class shuts up and he lets out a sigh of relief glad that his students listened to him for once. “Today I want you to spare with each other,” a few people in class start to shout with joy, “But,” the joyful shouts stop. “I want you to spare someone you haven't before,” Bakugou couldn't help but groan loudly at Aizawa’s words. 

Bakugou doesn't listen to Aizawa as he explains what they will be doing for training today. He honestly doesn't care about what they will be doing anyway. 

Bakugou has yet to spar with Sero and the weird short purple dude, he also has yet to learn his name. Bakugou didn't care for learning people's names anyway.

Aizawa lets the class figure out each other's partners while he sets up the floor mats. The floor mats were there just to be extra sure that these pro heroes didn't hurt themselves too badly while training. 

As the students moved around the room talking to each other Bakugou stood by the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. 

Bakugou was in no mood for training today, which was a little odd since he often found himself wanting to train. With a shake of his head he finally looks around the room to see if Kaminari or the purple guy have a partner yet. 

Bakugou finds the purple guy first, he was annoying some random girl. He decides on Kaminari next, so he looks around the room for a minute before finding the other blonde. 

Bakugou finds Kaminari squatting down on his knees while pointing at Kirishima’s light blue crocs that had small shark designs, Bakugou had no idea why Kirishima was even wearing them in the first place. Kaminair notices Bakugou's staring so he walks up to the blonde with a bright smile on his face. 

“Looks like it's just me and you Bakubro!” Kaminari says while pointing to himself with his thumb, Bakugou flips off the blonde before growing out a reply. 

“Don’t call me that Pikachu," Bakugou says with a hint of anger. As soon as both boys pair up they then walk over to an empty mat to start stretching. 

The training that the class was undergoing was hand to hand combat. Sure the students had quicks but what if they had someone that their quirks didn’t work on? The whole idea of hand to hand combat was to learn how to kick ass up close and without quirks. 

Bakugou knew that Kaminari was quick on his feet so he would have to make sure to watch him closely. Bakugou was stronger though but with the soreness of his muscles and the burn coming from his thighs he didn't know if it would be so easy today. 

“Are you ready to kiss the mat?” Kaminari taunts while cracking his knuckles. Bakugou stretches his arms while smirking at Kaminari.

“I’m ready to beat your ass,” Bakugou says with a wild grin on his face, he pushes away negative thoughts and focuses on kicking Kaminari’s ass. 

Bakugou and Kaminari stand on opposite sides of the mat, both in a fight position. They both had mouth guards and had their hands wrapped up. 

On the count of ten, both boys begin to circle each other. Bakugou takes the first step to get closer to Kaminari for a good punch, which he lands on Kaminari’s right shoulder. And that's how the training began, they threw punches but made sure to think out a small plan beforehand. Bakugou thought for sure that he was going to win until a punch went to his thigh. 

Bakugou lets out a hiss as he struggles to regain his stance. Kaminari took this as a good weak spot, he went for a sidekick to the legs and Bakugou dropped with a grunt. 

“Dude, are you okay?” Kaminari asks with a concerned look on his face. Bakugou pushes himself up from the ground with a glare. His legs burned from the harsh hit that was delivered to them. 

“I’m fucking fine!” Bakugou shouts loudly at Kaminari. Bakugou was pissed off that he was acting so weak, he felt like he shouldn't even have tried training. 

“I think we should stop today,” Bakugou glares hard at Kaminari, Kaminari waves two hands in front of him. “Not because of you bro! You just, uh, hit me in the...shoulder too hard!” Kaminari nervously laughs while touching his shoulder. 

Bakugou glares but says nothing, Kaminari was more than happy that Bakugou didn't call out his clear lie. Both boys cleaned up, while doing so Bakugou couldn't help but glare down at his thighs. 

Chapter Text

Self-Harm
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There was no real reason as to why Bakugou self-harmed. All he knew was that the burning pain made him feel alive. Bakugou often felt angry and numb but pain made him feel something other than that. 

No one ever noticed how he’d limp on his way to class in the morning or the way he would hold his large black pants so that they were not touching his thigh during class. No one ever noticed or seemed to care that Bakugou was acting so unlike himself.

Bakugou has gotten good at excuses when someone did notice though. It was easy for the lies to slip past his mouth. He’s had years of practice. Sure some days are a bit harder when he has to fight back tears but he still can get them to eat up his lies. 

Midoriya was different though, he would always frown and shake his head. Bakugou loathed that the first time Midoriya saw something wrong.

Midoriya had dragged him into a closet and started to ask numerous questions. The questions were simple but unusual, Bakugou knew Midoriya did a lot of research when he was bored but he didn't know that he did that much.

Midoriya loved to read, it was one of his favorite ways to pass some time. What he often read was about the human body or things that are related to it. When Midoriya was younger his mom fell into a depression due to his dad walking out on both of them. He wanted to help his mom out so he started reading about depression. Sure Midoriya won’t be able to fully understand what his mother has gone through but he knows the symptoms and many other things that are related to depression. 

“Hey Kaachan, how’s your sleeping habits? I know you always go to bed early but are you sure that you’re actually going to sleep when you say you are?” 

“Have you been eating enough? You should really eat more, you got to get big and strong.” 

“Are you sure you are okay Kaachan? You know it's good to talk about how you feel, it's good for your mental health.”

“Are you having trouble concentrating? You looked zoned out in class so I was just wondering.”

“I’m always here if you need someone to talk to.”  

Bakugou hated that it warmed his heart that Midoriya noticed these small things. He hated that Midoriya still cared for him. He never understood why Midoriya still cared for him, Bakugou was a complete ass to Midoriya yet he still stuck around no matter how rude or angry he acted toward the green-haired man, it just never got Midoriya to leave. 

Sure Bakugou wanted Midoriya around, he’d die before saying that aloud, but he also wanted to be alone. Bakugou felt guilty for the things that he had done to Midoriya, he wanted to suffer just like Midorya did. 

Bakugou dug his dull nails into the uneven and rough skin on his thigh. The skin was slightly puffed up and had a reddish-purple tone to it. It brought an odd comfort to Bakugou as he looked down at the burn marks. He never understood why he liked hurting himself, it was strange to him. 

Bakugou had done a little research after almost getting an infection on one of the burns. Bakugou was fine with the pain but he hated the pain of an infection more. It wasn’t like he cleaned each burn after he was done, he settled for showers and a quick scrub on his thighs.

The patterns on his skin were ugly, they didn’t look anything like the wounds he got when he was out in the field. No one ever noticed so Bakugou never cared to try to make them less noticeable or make sure that they weren’t too big. Bakugou runs his hand over the uneven skin with a sigh. 

Bakugou was once again on the floor in his bathroom. He wasn’t sad, Bakugou just felt numb, he wanted to at least feel something other than feeling nothing at all. 

The pain was the next feeling, the burn of his skin as it lights up from his quirk. His skin burned, it brought agony, it gave him satisfaction. 

He lets out a relieved sigh as he lets his head rest back against the cold wall of his bathroom. The pain gave him comfort, it gave him something to hold onto. His eyes stung from the sudden rush of tears, he didn't want to cry but he knew if he did he could feel less like shit. 

Bakugou held his emotions in a tight grasp, he only cried when he was alone in his bathroom at midnight. He only let himself hear the choked sobs that push their way past his lips. He was the only that got to feel his tears run down his face. 

Bakugou felt alone, he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold his act. This act of being strong and not weak, he just wanted to cry out and never breathe again. 

Chapter Text

“Oh, Kirishima!” Mina yells while running down the hall to try and catch up to Kirishima who was sprinting down the hall. 

Mina and Kirishima had both made plans to dye their hair together, the only problem that they had was they both had somehow forgotten to buy gloves. Mina personally didn't care for gloves but Kirishima didn't want pink and red all over his hands. 

“Having red strained hands is going to look like I just killed someone!" Kirishima shouts back at her with wide eyes, Mina rolls her eyes at her friend's words. 

“Why don’t we just ask around for gloves?" Mina asks while looking around the hall. Kirishima stops and turns back to her with a wide grin.

"Oh, I know who has gloves for sure!" Kirishima says to Mina, Mina only shrugs her shoulders. She had no clue who Kirishima was talking about, her best guess was that it's Sero but Sero barely ever went to the store unless it was for energy drinks. 

Both Mina and Kirishima walk down the hall while talking about random things. Kirishima talked about the movie night that they had with the squad and how amazing it was.  Mina talked about her girlfriend, Kirishima couldn't help but fanboy over their cute relationship. 

“Wait Bakugou? You really think he has gloves?” Mina asks Kirishima as she stares at the numbers on Bakugou's door. Kirishima pats her shoulder with a proud smile on his face. 

"Blasty for sure has them, I know since I found a box under his sink," Kirishima says with a proud expression. Mina couldn't help but laugh a little at Kirishima. 

“You gotta stop searching around in peoples room,” Mina says while looking over at Kirishima, he looks down at her and pouts.

"I know he has some sort of stuffed animal somewhere," Kirishima says while scratching his chin. Kirishima had this whole idea that Bakugou had a stuffed animal that he sleeps with. The reason Kirishima thought up this wonderful theory was because Midoriya had told him ‘Kaachan’ used to sleep with a stuffed bear as a kid. 

"Kirishima we are talking about Bakugou here, he for sure doesn't," Mina says with a little laugh, she loved Kirishima but the thought of Bakugou having a stuffed animal was far too stupid. 

"I bet he's a secret softy," Kirishima says while sticking his tongue at Mina. Mina only rolls her eyes at Kirishima's childish behavior. 

"Hell no he isn't, he's as hard as a rock... he's as hard at you!" Mina says laughing while pointing at Kirishima. Kirishima blushes hard and waves his hands around in embarrassment. 

"That sounds so wrong!" Kirishima shouts at her, Mina then points her pointer finger to Kirishima's head. 

"Dirty mind!" Mina yells at him. Mina and Kirishima both miss Bakugou swinging his door open with a glare on his tired face. 

"The fuck are you two extras standing outside my room shouting for!" Bakugou yells at the two of them. Mina jumps from the sudden noise and shouts out a quick sorry. Kirishima on the other hand is used to the yelling and turns to Bakugou with a huge smile on his face.

"Hey, Bakubro, we got a quick question," Kirishima says to Bakugou. Bakugou couldn't help but roll his eyes at the other boy. It was a Friday after school and he had no training, Bakugou just wanted to be alone in his darkroom. The whole day Bakugou had felt sick, not physically but mentally. 

"The hell would you want to know?" Bakugou asks him while crossing his arms over his chest and leans back on the door frame.

"Do you have any gloves?" Kirishima says with a grin on his face. Bakugou's eyes widened, he didn't know why Kirishima had asked him until he looked at Kirishima's hair. The black roots of his natural hair were peeking out from the cloth that was tied tightly around his head. Bakugou rolls his eyes and sighs while looking back at Kirishima's eyes. 

"Hair dye?" Bakugou asks Kirishima. Kirishima nods his head happily, his fading red hair bounces lightly. 

"You guessed right!" Kirishima says while giving a massive smile. Mina stares at Bakugou with scrunched eyebrows. Something felt off with Bakugou today, She didn't know what it was though. Her eyes widen as she looks at Bakugou's eyes. 

"Yeah, I'll go grab some, how many you think you'll need?" Bakugou asks while stepping back in his room, he didn't want either Kirishima or Mina to see how grimy or filthy his room was. 

Bakugou's room often got filthy after a week, he tried to keep it clean but that meant he had to have the energy to clean it, he never had that energy. 

"Hmm, maybe four just to be safe?" Kirishima asks while looking over at Mina, she nods her head in agreement.

"Alright" Bakugou nods his head and closes the door. He goes back to his room and looks under his bathroom cabinet in hope that they might still be under the sink. 

"Hey, Kirishima?" Mina asks Kirishima with a concerned look on her face. She wondered if Kirishima had also known the odd behavior that Bakugou was having. 

"Whats up Mina?" Kirishima asks while stretching out his back. Kirishima was up late last night trying to beat Sero at this video game that he had just bought. The video game was a shooting game that had zombies in it, it was very entertaining for the both of them. 

"Bakugou looked kind of sad," Mina tells Kirishima in a hushed voice, she really didn't want Bakugou over hearing what she just said. 

"Bakugou being sad?" Kirishima asks with furrowed eyebrows, the thought of Bakugou feeling down made Kirishima's heart squeeze. Kirishima hated it when any of his friends were feeling down, it made him want to make them feel better. 

"His eyes looked red, they looked a bit puffy," Mina says while pointing at her under eyes. Kirishima tries not to think too much about what Bakugou could be sad about. 

"Oh, um, what should we do?" Kirishima asks Mina with a sad look on his face. He had always known Bakugou as being strong and manly, the thought of the blonde feeling sad was crushing him. 

"How about we dye our hair then ask a few people if they have noticed anything odd about Bakugou?" Mina asks while patting Kirishima's shoulder to help calm him down. She knew how much Kirishima cared for all of his friends, Mina knew how much it had to hurt Kirishima to see one of them hurting. 

"Yes!" Kirishima yells with a small smile, he was glad to at least have someone help him feel a little better. 

"Stop fucking shouting, here," Kirishima and Mina jump from Bakugou's loud voice and laugh while grabbing the gloves. 

"You are such a lifesaver bro! I could kiss you!" Kirishima says while trying to shove his way into Bakugou's room. 

"Don't you dare!" Bakugou yells at Kirishima with a frown on his face. Kirishima laughs while holding the front of his shirt right where his heart would be, he dramatically yells as if he was in pain. 

"Awe!" Kirishima cries out while acting as if he just got shot in the heart. Bakugou couldn't help but let a small smile come on his face as he watched the redhead be himself. He also couldn't help the pain that started in his own heart. 

Chapter Text

Bakugou's day has been far worse than yesterday, so that morning he burned his thigh once again. This time he did it more than three times, normally he did two times at most since it was harder to walk when his thighs were in pain.

Bakugou had felt numb quickly after, he felt tired of life and the things around him, he felt bored with living. Bakugou questioned if it would be easier to just die. Bakugou never really thought he would get this far, he always thought he was going to die before he saw the age of seventeen. He didn’t want to kill himself but if there was an accident that killed him he wouldn't be mad. 

The training that day was even harder than normal, Bakugou had to train with Midoriya and he was not excited about that. Bakugou of course won but he was in so much pain that he almost cried when Midoriya had gripped hard on his right thigh. 

Of course Midoriya had noticed the look of pain that came across on Bakugou’s face, he made sure not to touch Bakoug on the thigh after that, it pissed Bakugou off that Midoriya actually cared for him. 

When Training had finally ended Bakugou made his way to the showers and went to the very last one and stripped down to nothing. His back faced the other students that came in and washed their sweaty bodies. Bakugou made sure that his entire front side of his body was facing the wall. 

“Hey Kaachan,” Mindoriya says while going into the shower next to Bakugou and begins to wash the sweat off his body. 

Bakugou ignores him and goes back to what he was doing. He  let's warm hot water run over his spiked blonde hair. Midoriya looks at Bakugou with a frown on his face,  he knew Bakugou was acting off but didn’t know why.

Bakugou looks over at Midoriya in the corner of his eyes. The warm soapy water ran down Midoriya in a way that made Bakugou’s hand tighten. Bakugou had always had these weird feelings towards the green haired man. He had no one to talk to so he kept it all to himself, all he knew was that he felt something toward Midoriya. 

Midoriya looks over at Bakugou and smiles. Bakugou never grew much since the growth spurt that he got back in middle school. Midoriya on the other hand grew tall. He knew it was because of the quirk, if it wasn't for that he would be shorter than Bakugou for sure.

Bakugou moves his head in order to let the water wash the soap away from his hair completely. Bakugou couldn't help but close his eyes as the warm water relaxed his body. It felt nice for him to be able to just relax for a second. 

Midoryia's eyes widen as he looks down Bakugou’s body. Light scars were scattered everywhere. It was normal for a pro hero to have scars but the stars on Bakugou’s body looked different. They looked at if they came from his own quirk, it made Midroyia wonder what exactly it was from.

Midoriya didn't ask Bakugou about it right away. He did however stare at the scars. In a way he found the scars looked like shooting stars. Midoriya had many scars himself, he loved them, it showed how far he came. 

Bakugou moves slightly in order to let the water wash the soap away from his chest and arms, Midoriya catches a glimpse of the front of Bakugou’s thigh. His eyes widened at the sight, long thin burn marks were all along Bakugou’s thighs.

Chapter Text

“Kaachan?” Midoryia asks with a confused voice. Bakugou does not spare his glance nor does he even open his eyes to look over at Midoriya. Bakugou would much rather have Midoryia leave instead of trying to start a conversation. 

“What do you want nerd?” Bakugou says with a scowl as his eyes remain closed. 

“Are you okay?” Midoryia asks Bakugou in hopes of getting him to open up. Midoryia was slightly panicking at the thought of Bakugou purposely hurting himself. Never in a million years has it crossed Midoryias mind that Bakugou would do this to himself

“The fuck you asking that for?” Bakugou asks slightly pissed off with the question that Midroyia had asked him. Bakugou loathed when he was asked that, it was rare when he was asked that question but it still made him feel uncomfortable. 

“Katsuki, '' Midoriya whispers Bakugou's first name, the words seemed so close and it confused Bakugou. So he opened his ruby eyes up and turned to yell at Midoriya, but to his surprise Midoryia was in the small stall with him. 

“Get the fuck out of my shower asshole!” Bakugou yells in anger while taking a step forward to get away from Midoryia, Bakugou still made sure to have his front side facing the wall. All Bakugou wanted to do was dry off and go to bed and forget this ever happened. 

“I see the scars, Katsuki, please don’t tell me you did this to yourself,” Midoryia asks while stepping closer to Bakugou, a light blush creeps up the neck of Bakugou as he realized that both of them were naked. He pushes that thought away and glances up at Midoriya. 

“The fuck is it any of your business, It’s from training,” Bakugou says angrily. Midoriya shakes his head. He knew that the burns were not from training because the people that Bakugou had trained with earlier this week had no quirks that could do that. 

“Stop lying,” Midoryia says quietly to Bakugou. 

“I’m not lying!” Bakugou shouts at Midoriya with bared teeth. Bakugou hated that Midorya was trying to talk about his private life. 

“Yes you are!” Midoriya shouts loudly at Bakugou, Bakugou’s eyes widen a little from Midoriya acting so unlike himself. 

“I’m not!” Bakugou yells back at Midoriya with a frown on his face. His fist clench and unclench as he stares at Midoriya. 

“Let me see them then,” Midoryia says with a frown, he hated that Bakugou was trying to hide this from him. 

“What?” Bakugou asks in shock and confusion. He was in shock that Midoriya was being so pushy. It was odd because normally Midoriya wasn’t so pushy, he was more of the subtle type.

“You said it's just from training let me see it then,” Midorriya says while taking a smaller step forward towards Bakugou. Bakugou glares at Midoriya and looks back at the shower wall. 

“No!” Bakugou shouts. All Bakugou wanted now was to disappear, never be seen again. He knew midoriya would never let this go now that he saw the burn marks. 

“Why not?” midoriya asks while resting his hand on bakugou's tense shoulder. 

“Get off!” Bakugou yells loudly, shrugging off Midoriya's hand. 

“Kaachan, I just want to make sure they aren't infected,” Midoriya calmly asks Bakugou. 

“They aren't,” Bakugou growls out at Midoriya. Bakugou was glad that no one else was in the showering room with them. 

“Katsuki you are so strong, it’s okay to feel down sometimes just please let me help you,” Midoriya whispers while stepping closer to Bakugou. Bakugou looks down at the wet floor and sighs. 

“Why,” Bakugou says with a frown on his face, he didn't understand why Midoriya wanted to help him so badly. 

“I love you Kaachan, I hate to see the person that I love drowning in pain,” Midoriya whispers in Bakugou's ear. A shudder makes its way up Bakugou's neck. His ears go red at Midoriya's words. 

“Fine,” Bakugou sighs and let's Midoriya turn his body to face him. Bakugou tries to ignore his loudly beating heart. 

“Thank you Kaachan,” Midoriya says with a smile on his face. Bakugou rolls his eyes but can't help the blush that spreads on his cheeks. 

Midorya lets his right hand trace over bakugou's thigh. He looks closer at the burns, ignoring Bakugou's clear embarrassment of the position that they are both in. 

Midoryia couldn't believe his eyes as he looked at Bakugou's thighs. He hated that Bakugou felt the need to do this to himself, he hated that bakugou felt this way at all. 

“This looks so wrong Deku,” Bakugou grumbles out with a red face. Midoryia looks back at Bakugou's face and chuckles from how red he was. 

“Oh hush, they don’t look infected but I would like to wrap them and put some burn cream on them,” Midoriya says while looking at Bakugou with a sad smile on his face. 

“Whatever nerd,” Bakugou says. Both boys get out of the shower and dry off their bodies before getting dressed. Midoryia drags Bakugou back to his room. Both boys ignore the shocked and curious looks they got as they walk hand in hand to Midoriya's room. 

Chapter Text

Bakugou sat on Midoriya’s bed while he went to the bathroom to get the first aid kit. Midoriya often used his first aid kit to patch himself up, it was far better than having to go to the nurse every other day. 

Bakugou still couldn’t believe that Midoryia had been seen in such a vulnerable state. This made him worry about how Midoriya saw him now. Bakugou loathed that Midoriya was trying to help him, he loathed relying on someone else other than himself. 

After a few minutes passed Midoriya came back  with burn cream and bandages. Bakugou sat still and waited for Midoriya to come over to him. 

“Hey Kaachan, how are you feeling?” Midoriya asks Bakugou with a concerned look on his face, the look that he gave Bakugou made the blonde pissed off. 

“I’m fucking fine, just get this over with,” Bakugou says to Midoriya with a rough voice. Bakugou would much rather be in his own room than in Midoriya's.

Midoriya on the other hand didn’t care that Bakugou didn't want to be in his room, he could tell just by the look on Bakugou’s face. All Midoriya  wanted to do was to help Bakugou feel safe and wanted. 

Midoriya squeezed a little bit of the cream onto his pointer and middle finger of his right hand. He then spreads the cold cream on Bakugou’s thigh, he rubs the cream gently into the burn marks. 

Bakugou couldn't help but flinch every time Midoriya touched the burns. It was strange for Bakugou to have another person see his burns. It made him feel as if he was being cut open, showing all of his emotions. He wondered why Midoriya didn't seem to mind doing this for him. 

It took Midoriya a few minutes to cover all of the burn marks with the cream. The burn marks were all over Bakugou’s legs, it was embarrassing for Bakugou to have to spread his legs wider so Midoriya could get the burns on his inner thigh. 

Bakugou knew that his ears were a light shade of pink so he kept his head low so that he wouldn't have to look Midoriya in the face. 

After a few minutes Midoirya finally finished wrapping Bakugou's thighs up, the cream wouldn't get over his clothes or bed sheets. 

Bakugou sat on Midoriya’s bed in silence, Midoriya wondered what the blonde could be thinking about. Bakugou knew what was going to come next, talking, he didn't want to but he knew he’d have to. 

“Kaachan I know you don’t want to talk about this but we need to,” Midoriya sasy to Bakugou with a sad smile on his face. His dark green eyes look into Bakugou’s red ones.

Bakugou and Midoriya stare at each other until Midoriya lets out a sigh and leans over to Bakugou only to grab both of the blonde's hands. Midoriya smiles at Bakugou in hopes of calming him down a bit. 

Midoriya has always had a place in his heart for Bakugou. All his life he had only wanted the best for him and only wanted to see him get stronger. It broke Midoriya’s heart to see Bakugou fake smiling, he never really understood why. Mindoriya didn't understand why Bakugou has become this way. 

The once loud and obnoxious boy was now a loud yet quiet person, Bakugou got this look in his eyes that made him seem like he was about to have a mental breakdown right then and there, yet he never did. 

“I just want to know how I can help you Kaachan,” Midoriya says, trying to help Bakugou understand what he wants to hear. All Midoriya wanted to do was make Bakugou feel better, maybe even get a smile out of the blonde if he was lucky. 

“You can’t help me,” Bakugou tells Midoriya while glaring down at his thighs. The bandages stuck out against his pale complexion.

“I want to try,” Midoriya says quietly, he stares at Bakugou with a small smile on his face. Bakugou glares down at his thighs before glaring up at Midoriya. 

“But why!” Bakugou shouts at Midoriya, he didn't understand why Midoriya wanted to help him so much, all of the things he had done to Midoriya were far worse.  

“Because I love you,” Midoriya shouts at Bakugou, the blonde goes silent before struggling to get Midoriya’s hands off of his own. 

“No you fucking dont that isn't possible!” Bakugou growls out, Midoriya shakes his head and squeezes Bakugou’s hands. Bakugou couldn't handle the thought of Midoriya actually liking him back. 

“It is!” Midoriya quickly says back to Bakugou in defence. The green haired boy had no clue why Bakugou felt the way that he did. It made him wish Bakugou never thought of those things. 

“It isn't! Stop fucking with me already,” Bakugou growls out at Midoriya with an angry expresstion on his face, Bakugou was tired of yelling all he wanted to do was lay down and sleep. 

Bakugou looks away from Midoriya in shame. He hated that Midoriya was seeing this side of himself that he promised he would never show another person. 

“Kaachan, would you please look at me?” Midoriya asks softly towards the blonde's turned head. Bakugou shakes his head, he was always so stubborn. 

“No,” Bakugou whispers back, his throat was sore from all of the talking and yelling that he had done today. 

“Please,” Midoriya asks while resting a hand onto the blonde hand that was sitting on the bed. Bakugou lets the green haired boy touch his hand, he was too tired to move it or yell about it. For some reason the warmth from Midoriya’s hand made him feel more grounded. 

“What,” Bakugou whispers while looking back at Midoriya. He knew he looked like a reck, he could hear it just from his voice. Midoriya’s eyes widen at seeing Bakugou's face. He had tears trailing down the sides of his cheeks, Bakugou hadn't even noticed that he was crying himself. 

“I hate seeing you cry, can we please just talk about this then lay down?” Midoriya suggests while looking at Bakugou. Midoriya wanted to at least hear a little about what Bakugou is going through before calling it a night. 

“Fine,” Bakugou agrees while wiping away some of the tears that had stuck on the cheeks of his face. 

“Can you just tell me why?” Midoriya asks Bakugou in a soft caring voice. Midoriya knew it would be hard for Bakugou to talk about but he also knew that this was very important and needed to be talked about. 

“I don’t know,” Bakugou says quietly, he didn't understand why he felt this way. 

“Kaachan,” Midoriya says just as quietly as Bakugou in hopes of letting Bakugou know that he was listening to what he was saying. 

“I don’t know why, I guess it makes me feel better,” Bakugou struggles to get out the words, they felt odd coming out of his mouth. 

“You know there are other ways to make yourself feel better right?” Midoriya says while looking at Bakugou, the blonde only shrugs his shoulders. 

“Yeah I know,” Bakugou says with a loud sigh. Midoriya squeezes his hand and smiles at Bakugou. 

“Can you just promise me something?” Midoriya asks Bakugou with a small smile on his face, Bakugou nofs his head a little. 

“Promise you what?” Bakugou asks Midoriya in a tired voice. 

“Whenever you feel upset come talk to me,” Midoriya says to Bakugou with a smile, he knew if Bakugou talked about what he was going through he would feel better. 

“Why though?” Bakugou asks a little confused, he has never been asked to do this by anyone. 

“I hate seeing you feel upset with yourself,” Midoriya says while looking at Bakugou. 

“Like you care,” Bakugou says quietly to himself. 

“I care so much Kaachan,” Midoryia whispers. Bakugou's heart beats loudly in his chest as he hears those words. 

“Whatever,” Bakugou grumbles out, his face feeling hot. 

“Also please let me clean your burns till they are all healed” Midoryia says with a puppy dog look on his face. Bakugou loathed how he could never say no to that face. 

“Fine,” Bakugou says without any venom. Midoriya smiles at the blondes and squeezes his hand once again. 

“Thank you Kaachan,” Bakugou squeezes Midoriya's hand back. He felt warm around the green haired boy.