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Janus finally grasped his apple, still with the single bite taken out of it, expression disinterested but still not making direct eye contact with Emile. Emile frowned at Janus’s response, but he didn’t press the issue of what was going on with Janus.
Janus held his gaze at no place in particular for a long moment, waiting until Emile lost interest and began focusing on something else before daring to bring his gaze away.
Emile eventually turned his attention to his own food, a single pack of peanut butter crackers, having already eaten two, going to select another.
Only then did Janus turn his attention to the apple in his hand, taking everything little detail about it in. He studied the grooves left by his teeth, how the edges had already begun their slow process of decomposing, like every other apple he had been given. The flesh of the apple itself was almost mushy, that almost brown color it turns before it starts to soften and turn to pure mush.
You’re staring, Janus, you gotta eat or else Emile’s gonna get concerned again. I- I hate that I let myself get lost in there again, I gotta try to keep it only for the special times I need it.
Janus tightened his jaw, eyes becoming subtly determined as he brought his hand with the apple up to his face.
But as his teeth pierced the flesh of the apple, his lipstick covered lips gripping the skin, he made eye contact with a set of glaring eyes directed directly at Janus. He nearly choked on the apple in surprise, suddenly biting down and breathing a sudden gasp of air in. The only thing that saved him from possible death by apple slice was his back teeth, catching the apple slice just before it lodged itself in his throat.
None other than Roxanne, the hot shot, the ‘perfect model,’ Mr. Princey or Princess (when he was onstage) Mc Perfect, was glaring at him. Roxanne was dolled up like all the rest them, no one but close friends used your real name as custom went, but anyone could tell just from looking at him that he didn’t need makeup of any kind of look flawless.
Roxanne’s ruby red lipstick matched his strand of licorice that he was twirling menacingly, which of course Roxanne could make twirling a strand of licorice menacing, what couldn’t he do?
Plenty, he’s not all The Directors crack him up to be. Roxanne’s just as flawed as the rest of us. He believes his own lies, the hypocrite. What has he ever had against me anyway?
Janus glared right back. Chewing his apple slice, the sound of his teeth slicing through the apple dulled by his intense focus, maintaining the same intensity. His focus was measured, it was intense, but an intentional intensity that only came from lots and lots of practice.
Janus didn’t snap out of the eye contact until two things happened. He bit down on a bare apple core and the bell by the door buzzed, signaling lunchtime was over.
Everyone stood up in perfect unison. To anyone else that would be eerie, but it was pounded into him and everyone else here from the moment they got here that everything about this place should be perfect. Perfect unison. Perfect makeup. Perfect outfit. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.
But Janus didn’t buy that, not for one second.
That’s why you keep thinking about that night, you know what they do to those who fail.
Janus blinked, refraining from shaking his head to not become too noticeable. He easily fell in line, filing out of the cafeteria perfectly, the sound of everyone’s mandatory high heels clicking against the ground in unison.
Or... almost perfectly.
The ghost of a finger or someone else in general against his right side brought his attention to his right. Janus didn’t dare turn his head, but he did glimpse fleetingly who it was out of the corner of his eye, his eyes flickering over for just long enough to still give a shadow of doubt.
Roxanne.
Roxanne always managed to weasel his way to cause trouble for Janus. Why would he assume any differently? His stomach was as hard as a rock, and suddenly he could barely breathe, as if bands were squeezing the life slowly out of his very lungs.
Just as Janus was about to brace for the inevitable harassment he would never be able to prove was intentions, the group reached the point where they weren’t required to be ‘perfectly exiting’ the cafeteria. Instantaneously everyone’s posture relaxed, a soft rumble of voices quickly giving way to a roar.
Roxanne was quickly lost in the more chaotic jumble of people as the neat lines gave way to a chaotic sea of outfit less drag queens, for that, Janus was most thankful.
Janus himself joined the cacophony that now surrounded him, yelling out to Emile as he was entering their dressing room, catching sight of him just before he would’ve slipped into the room.
How’d he get in front of me?
Emile stopped in the doorway, turning around, searching the crowd for a few seconds before his eyes fell on Janus, immediately brightening, his signature smile blooming on his face. The smile was always for Janus, every other smile Emile gave always feel short of that smile in Janus’s humble opinion.
Janus sped up, bounding much like Emile always did up to Emile, nodding to him with his own patient smile. Janus sauntered through the open door that Emile was holding open for him, a courtesy Janus rarely ever reciprocated, truth be told.
Janus let his footsteps clack against the muffled walls of the dressing room before he flopped down dramatically on the fainting couch.
“Roxanne was staring at me again. Like? What is it with him? I’ve done nothing to the guy and yet he acts like I killed his brother or something! I’m certainly not over whatever rivalry he thinks we have. The last thing I want to do is anger someone like that. It’s just- Ugh!” Janus ranted to the ceiling, slamming a pillow on his forehead instead of his face in frustration.
Emile let the door shut gently behind him before coming over to Janus as he was laid across the couch dramatically.
“Well, like I’ve said before, there’s no real way to know why unless you ask him!”
Janus sat up, gaze hard and razor sharp. “I can’t just... do that! He has all the bullshit social power here! He can turn everyone on me or even you in an instant if he could I just... I just...”
Janus’s shoulders stuttered, his physical tell that told him he was about to cry and he cursed them as Emile came quickly around the couch.
Emile’s arms wrapped around him and that’s all it took and he just broke. It wasn’t full sobbing, there were even any tears, but from the pained sounds coming from his mouth, there was no denying Janus’s sadness. There was a long (but not too long) silence between them, Emile rocking Janus back and forth slightly in a soothing manner. The gentle movement was pleasant, something for Janus to focus on as he tried to stop his sobs.
When Janus was sure he had cried himself out, it was Janus who pulled back first. Emile rubbed his thumb over Janus’s cheek, holding it gently.
“You and me against the world, remember?”
Janus smirked, his amusement chasing away the lingering aches of sadness in his heart.
“Me and you against the world... platonically.”
Emile chuckled, glancing at his hand and the intimate gesture he was giving Janus, not retracting his hand, but visibly making it a little less ‘cliche romantic’ a touch.
“Always.”
They were abruptly interrupted by a forceful cough mixed with clearing one’s throat in the doorway, sending them both scrambling apart immediately. They had been too close and intimate for the owner of this new voice not to at least initially assume the worst.
Janus wanted to be anywhere but where was as he whipped to face the door of the dressing room.
Of fucking COURSE.
Roxanne was standing in the doorway, eyes angry and expression fierce despite his body leaning casually and nonchalantly against the door frame.
Janus was dead, sooo fucking dead.