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Black Jackals Cafe had been a popular establishment in their university with a second floor; it technically served as a roof deck when they'd been freshmen until it closed down since not enough customers could be reined in to be proportional to the amount of space provided. Though the first floor is locked, the roof deck's staircase is outside and there aren't any barricades blocking students from climbing up. Students don't typically go here because it's old and not that well-maintained; the tables are dusty and there are vines spread out all over to the point where Atsumu doesn't doubt that it'll start looking like a forest by the time they graduate.
Atsumu's immediate and slightly exclusive group of friends—Bokuto, Hinata, and occasionally Sakusa if he's in the mood to join them—have made this second floor their spot though, and they're popular enough that no other student dates to trespass what they label as "their territory" even if Meian repeatedly points out that they're not a pack of wolves. Right now, it's just Atsumu, Bokuto, and Hinata since Sakusa said he'd follow, having to buy lunch first even though Atsumu already packed extra lunch for him and Sakusa usually eats that. It's not like he doesn't get why Sakusa decided to do that, but he thinks he's allowed a few minutes to be internally peeved about it.
Atsumu and Hinata are in the middle of a heated discussion about the latest drama they've been watching when Bokuto interrupts them by saying, "Hey, isn't that Omi-omi?"
Atsumu and Hinata follow Bokuto's gaze. Sakusa had said he'd buy lunch first, except the cafeteria is in the opposite area of Black Jackals Cafe and the three of them see him instead at the back of the cafe's building, talking to a girl Atsumu thinks he's seen in one of Hinata's science classes before.
Sure enough, Hinata exclaims, "Oh, I know her. We're classmates in Environmental Science!"
"What's her name, Shouyou?" Atsumu asks.
"Sato Nagisa, I think." Hinata makes a face, trying to remember. "She doesn't really talk much, but my seatmate said she's captain of the swim team or something."
Bokuto whistles appreciatively, and they all lean closer to the wire fence that barricades the roof deck to keep people from falling. "Isn't that kind of a big deal? Pretty sure it is. I hear they're pretty good. Akaashi says they're good."
"He interviewed them in the local press' last issue. Ain't he required to say that?"
"I'm not really surprised that she's confessing to Omi-san," says Hinata, nodding to himself. "He attracts girls like that. Not like you, Atsumu-san. Sorry. No offense."
Atsumu bristles. "All the girls that like me are real pleasant, y'know."
"Tsumtsum, Hinata's not talking about the girls. He's talking about you."
Hinata smiles at him not-so apologetically. Atsumu huffs, mock-hurt that his friends are ganging up on him like this, but ultimately, he doesn't grace them with a response. He's never had the best luck with girls anyway, and it's a fact that he's acknowledged long ago. Besides, he's not that interested in defending the few bits of dignity he has when there's a scene unfolding before him that's way more interesting. The girl—Sato—is talking to Sakusa animatedly, like she's trying to make sure she has his attention a hundred percent even though Sakusa is the type to listen intently to everything even though he pretends to not care. Then she abruptly stops, presumably finished with her speech, and Atsumu wonders if he imagines the red flush on her cheeks—it's a bit hard to see from the distance they're at—as she roughly hands Sakusa a letter, bows her head, and then briskly walks away. Sakusa hasn't moved an inch, but he does tilt his head to stare at the envelope in his hands, like he's trying to let what just happened sink in.
"She didn't even wait for a reply!" Bokuto says.
Atsumu pulls back and folds his arms behind his head. "What d'ya expect? Omi-kun's not that experienced. He said he's never dated back in high school, so of course he ain't gonna know how to act quickly 'bout this. Girls are kinda like goldfish, y'know. If you don't move fast enough, they'll slip from your grasp."
Hinata frowns. "There's something seriously wrong with that analogy, Atsumu-san," he says. "And you know that's not true."
"And you tease him too much about how he doesn't know anything, Tsumtsum!" Bokuto scolds. "If anything, it's probably your fault."
Let it be said that Atsumu has never had the kindest of friends. He glances back down. He isn't that surprised that they'd choose to do a confession at the back of Black Jackals Cafe, because doing it in front of other people would be embarrassing and eliminate the intimacy of it all. University confessions, Atsumu has learned over the course of his time here, isn't that different from the ones that would happen in high school.
He watches as Sakusa open the envelope, surprised to see him actually reading it. It likely isn't any different from the standard kind of confession letter—at this point, Atsumu is pretty sure the only reason that letters are still a thing in this day and age is because it's obligatory to the tradition—and he thinks that Sakusa should know that by now.
Atsumu can't read Sakusa's expression well from this distance, and it frustrates him. He hasn't even been able to see him for the past week due to their hectic schedules since midterms are coming up; today's break happened to be the first in a long time that they'd been able to see each other again, except Atsumu's first glimpse of Sakusa's face in a long time is distant because he's never had the best of eyesight and it's because of some girl who wanted to confess to him.
Absentmindedly, he wonders what Sakusa would've said, if Sato Nagisa waited for a response instead of leaving immediately. He wonders if he could read the words he'd mouth or if he'd be just as blind to them the same way he can't understand the face he's currently making.
"'M flattered that ya think that highly enough 'bout me and believe I'd be the reason Omi-kun would be too chicken to pull somethin'," Atsumu says dryly. He angles his posture away from Sakusa but keeps his eyes trained on him nonetheless. "If he really wanted somethin', he'd do it. It doesn't have anythin' to do with me," He huffs. "You guys are just jealous of 'im."
Bokuto frowns. "Aren't you the one who's jealous?"
Atsumu gives him a funny look. "What's there to be jealous of?"
Hinata and Bokuto quickly exchange glances. "Nothing," Bokuto responds. And then, almost as if he means for Atsumu to hear it, he whispers loudly into Hinata's ear, "Man, this guy is dense."
Atsumu is about to retort, but suddenly a loud sound crashes against their ear and the fence rattles roughly, nearly causing them to jump out of their skins. They look back down and see that it's Sakusa, who hurls another empty soda can at them. He doesn't exert as much strength as he did the first time, so the can falters mid-air and falls to the ground, but still, they get the picture.
"I know you idiots saw that," Sakusa says, and even though there's a considerable distance between them, he doesn't yell, because he never yells and isn't the type to, even when he gets angry, and because he doesn't need to for people to immediately take him seriously.
"Omi-san!" Hinata yells. "You're so popular! Congrats!"
"I don't want to hear a thing about it when I get up there."
"Why don't you buy your lunch first!" Bokuto suggests cheekily.
Like with Hinata, whether that's a sarcastic remark or not, Atsumu honestly can't tell, and that's probably why Hinata and Bokuto get away with a boatload of shit. Kiyoomi just gives him what Atsumu guesses to be a sour look and flips them off.
The entire time, Atsumu remains quiet. Hinata and Bokuto don't seem to notice, more engrossed in teasing Sakusa, who never really does get mad even when it sounds like he will and who can't really do anything if he's still all the way down there. A year ago, and Hinata and Bokuto wouldn't have dared to pull this sort of thing, but they're a lot more familiar with one another and none of them are really what others perceive them to be; it's nice, to have this little bubble where they can settle into their skins a lot more comfortably and not fear that possibility of pushing one another. There's no harm to it, and there's no point in being prickly. Sakusa doesn't show it, but Atsumu knows it's something he appreciates.
Sakusa's eyes catch Atsumu's for the briefest of seconds, and Atsumu doesn't think it's just in his head, the way Sakusa's expression softens for just the flash of a moment.
He looks back at what Bokuto told him and thinks, it's not like I'm dense. You guys are just stupid.
Though none of them live together, their places are all in the same direction, so whenever they can, they walk home together just so things would be less boring. Later that day, they learn that the confession Sakusa got is apparently the third one this week, and it's only Tuesday.
"I always get these confessions," Sakusa says, using the same tone he has when they're talking about the schoolwork or the most recent drama that's occurred and is currently circulating around the students; he won't shut the conversation down, but he doesn't sound that enthusiastic about it either.
"Always as in?"
Sakusa shrugs. "I get a lot whenever exam season draws near."
Hinata squints. "Ballpark?"
"Around eight?" he answers, sounding unsure.
Hinata's mouth parts open in surprise. "Whoa, Omi-san, how come you never told us so many people liked you? That's amazing!"
"They don't, Hinata." But Hinata clearly doesn't believe him and the tips of Sakusa's eyes are bright red, expression slightly pinched.
"And yet, nothing happens," Atsumu remarks, shoving his hands in his pockets casually. "Makes you wonder what exactly you're doin', huh?"
Hinata turns to Atsumu and the latter doesn't miss the way Sakusa relaxes at the fact that Hinata's attention has now been diverted. "Atsumu-san," he starts, sounding exasperated, but Atsumu just grins at him, a sign that he's not actually being serious.
"Then how come we never see them?" Bokuto questions Sakusa.
"'Cause you're not s'pposed to see 'em, Bokkun," Atsumu reminds him. "'Sides, it's probably 'cause they all do it by the second staircase at the study hall. Best confession spot in campus, the way I see it."
"You have shitty taste," Sakusa says. "It's dusty and stuffy. It smells like semen too."
"So you do admit that you have confessions there!"
Atsumu nods in agreement. "He's a real heartbreaker, our Omi-kun."
Sakusa rolls his eyes. "It's not that I say no," he clarifies. "It's just that they always tell me they don't want to be in a relationship after they confess."
"So why do they bother confessing?"
"To get it off their chests. It's closure, wanting to move on," Sakusa explains. "My reply doesn't matter. It's always been like that."
"I mean, men are shit, so maybe they don't wanna hear your answer 'cause they know deep down you'd be a terrible boyfriend and they wanna cling onto their fantasies," Atsumu proposes. Sakusa kicks him in the shin for that, hard enough to send Atsumu kneeling. It makes him groan, but none of them wait for him, continuing on their walk. Bastards, Atsumu thinks, but he manages to catch up to them once he's recovered.
"I'm really sorry that you're really unlucky with that sort of thing, Omi-omi," Bokuto is saying, genuinely apologetic. "How long has this been going on anyway?"
"Since the second half of last year."
"Damn," Hinata breathes out.
Bokuto's eyes widen with a sudden sense of clarity. "Omi-omi."
"What?'
"I hate to break it to you," Bokuto starts gravely. "But I think I know what this is. You're cursed."
Atsumu bursts out laughing at that. Before Bokuto can defend himself, Sakusa cuts in, "Can we talk about this later?" He sounds long-suffering, patience running thin. "Let's stop by the corner store. Dealing with this makes me hungry."
As Bokuto and Hinata start to excitedly walk ahead at the mention of the corner store, Atsumu steps past Sakusa and says, "It's 'cause you hate the lunch I made you, ain't it."
Sakusa doesn't reply; all he does is smile wryly and walk away.
"It's very important that we talk about this," Bokuto says to Hinata and Atsumu, the three of them huddling by the tables of the corner store that are pressed against the window. "Let's make a list. Akaashi says they’re a good way to rearrange your thoughts. He makes a lot of them before presentations.”
Atsumu isn’t really listening, eyes wandering around the aisles, watching Sakusa’s small figure from the other side of the store, paying by the cashier for the food he wants along with all the snacks Bokuto and Hinata had dumped in his basket. Bokuto has a clean tissue in his hands, which he unravels so they can write as much stuff as they want, and Hinata takes out a pen that definitely belongs to Kageyama since his name's engraved onto the side.
Reasons Why Omi-Omi Is Doomed To A Failed Romance. Bokuto writes down.
"Okay," Atsumu says. "That's a little too much."
"It's too late," hushes Hinata. "Just let it be."
Atsumu sighs.
Reasons Why Omi-Omi Is Doomed To A Failed Romance:
- The girls who like him might be those 'new year, new me', 'no regrets' types and those girls are always witches.
>> Did you mean to say bitches—
>> No. I said what I said. Witches. - He won't be the one in the relationship to kill the cockroach.
Karma from that time Tatara Rei broke up with her boyfriend because she apparently fell in love with him.
>> OBJECTION! That was Atsumu-san though?- (REVISED) All the karma meant for Tsumtsum and his reputation end up being taken out on Omi-Omi instead.
>> But why Omi-san?
>> 'Cause he's the one who is closest to Tsumtsum! We wouldn't have met him if Tsumtsum wasn't so determined for him to hang with us! - Really obsessed with cleaning. If you go on a date with him and eat out in an izakaya, he might spend more time trying to clean up the area you'll be staying at than actually spend time and eat with you.
>> OBJECTION! You're exaggeratin', Bokkun. He just has lotsa allergies and bein' miserable with all the snifflin' ain't a nice experience for anyone.
>> Oh, yeah. He has meds he sometimes takes for that, right? - He's expensive and we’re in university. Everyone is broke.
- The curse is an omen.
>> For what?
>> Maybe he's fated to have a partner that's really really bad at relationships and so not-romantic that he's just better off not having anyone else.
The entire time, Atsumu has kept his protests to a minimum, but at the last point, he almost caves in by admitting, this is gettin' a little too personal.
“Y’know, guys,” Atsumu pipes up instead. “You should also just consider the fact that Omi-kun’s hidin’ somethin’ from us.”
“Which is?”
“Maybe the reason the confessions never work out is ‘cause he says no to all of ‘em.”
“Yeah, but why would he say no?” Atsumu can think of a reason or two. “It’s not like he can say yes if it’s not an option handed to him,” Bokuto argues. “Tsumtsum, that’s a good input, but that’s not list-worthy. We need something better than that.”
Atsumu gives up.
“Hey, Omi-san,” Hinata later asks, when Sakusa finishes paying up and walks over to them. Bokuto’s already tucked in the list, promising that he has it memorized by now. “What if you do get a confession from someone who does want to be in a relationship with you? Would you consider it?”
Hearing this, Atsumu stills. Bokuto and Hinata don’t seem to notice though, much more focused on getting Sakusa’s answer. “I’ll consider it,” he answers, gaze subtly flickering to Atsumu’s. “But so far it hasn’t happened yet, and I don’t think it will.”
This prompts Bokuto to launch into his memorized spiel of the points that they’d written down on the list, except he doesn’t actually recall them to the exact detail and has to fish it out. Sakusa gives Atsumu a knowing look before his eyes sweep back to Bokuto, listening to what he has to say like there are valid arguments in them. Atsumu can’t help but smile slightly, feeling endeared.
They part ways by the time the sun is halfway through its descent. Hinata and Bokuto must be more tired than they let on, because they don’t question how Atsumu and Sakusa are heading down the same route even though Atsumu’s dorm and Sakusa’s apartment are on opposite streets. Atsumu ends up taking out the wrapped lunch he initially made for Sakusa even though the latter didn’t want it just to eat it since he’s starving and hadn’t bought anything from the corner store, and understands why Sakusa refused it even without taking a bite, because it’s shittier than he anticipated it to be.
In the end, he still finishes it, partially assisted with Sakusa giving him an extra bottle of water he purchased just so Atsumu can down the horribly tasting sandwich, except Atsumu’s stomach is still rumbling. For good measure, he takes a few more gulps of water just to make the sound quiet down. Though Sakusa doesn’t say anything the entire time Atsumu is in agony, there’s a small grin that dangles on his lips that is poorly concealed by his sleeve, pretending to wipe something from his mouth just to cover it.
“You ain't that clever, y’know,” Atsumu tells him. “Even though you think you are. You're not.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
He does know, but Atsumu indulges in him anyway. “When you answered Hinata’s question. 'I’ll consider it’, my ass.”
“You’re terrible at impersonating me.”
“We’ve been together for almost a year. Are you really that bitter that I’ve never done a proper confession to you?”
He's always more or less remained indifferent to gestures like that, and he knows the extent of Sakusa’s feelings towards it involve some admiration for the courage it takes, especially when honesty is something that’s hard to come across these days. But it’s a practice that has been going on for so long that it feels repetitive; despite their own plethora of confessions received from admirers throughout the course of their years, to Atsumu, when it comes to what really matters, he doesn’t care about the tradition of two people trading honest proclamations and a handmade letter to put proof to that. He doesn’t need to make a personal but big deal out of something like admitting something you’ve been holding in for a long time.
It’s been a year, but Atsumu still remembers the way he’d done it—walking down the hall with Kiyoomi as they made their way to their respective classes, a floor apart. Before Kiyoomi climbed up the stairs to the third floor, Atsumu asked, “Wanna go on a date?”
There had been no letter, no secret spot, no explicit I like you. But the meaning was all there and there was significance to the way Sakusa’s mouth had tilted up, the way his eyes softened and that look of just knowing that this was something that had been coming for a while.
Sakusa hadn’t given a real response, the same way Atsumu hadn’t given a real confession. All he said was, “I’ll see you later.”
It wasn’t a lot, but it was more than Atsumu could ask for. A year later, and he doesn’t think that has changed.
At least, until now.
“Who said I was bitter?” Sakusa inquires mildly.
Atsumu rolls his eyes. “You're lucky that you're cute,” he says. “I didn’t need that indirect though. Don’tcha know how attacked I felt the entire time, knowin’ I couldn’t say a word?”
“If you were really upset about something, you’d say it.”
“Don’t think I didn’t notice how you haven’t answered the question yet, Omi-kun.”
Sakusa gives him a look, but he ultimately relents. Idly, he kicks at the air as they continue walking. His foot scrapes against the pavement in a way that usually makes Atsumu wince because it’s not exactly a nice sound, but right now, there are bigger things he cares about than a pet peeve. It’s kind of cute anyway, the way Sakusa tries to hide his slight nervousness of answering with this sort of nonchalance that doesn’t work on Atsumu. “I think these confessions are driving me nuts.”
“‘Cause you keep on havin’ to reject ‘em?”
“Because the only confession I’d ever want to endure is one from my boyfriend.”
This admission of wanting something more when all this time they’ve been on a pace that both of them agreed they liked: private and steady and true to them; it’s not exactly something Atsumu expects Sakusa to say, but it’s only natural that it’d come out in such a blunt manner. This is who Sakusa is, the type to say or do something if he really wanted it, and Atsumu is the same. It’s why they work well together, even if no one will know about it until they’re ready to tell.
The use of boyfriend is cute. It’s almost been a year since they’ve gotten together, and Atsumu doesn’t think he’ll ever get sick of hearing it either. “Endure is a painful word, Omi-kun. You sure you really want that kinda romance from me when you talk like that?”
“Fuck off,” Sakusa says, making a move to go ahead, but Atsumu quickly grabs his arm and tugs him back. “I know that romance like that is overrated anyway.”
“And yet you still want it,” Atsumu points out. Sakusa rolls his eyes, but it’s not denial. “Up to what extent?”
“Not enough to tell everyone,” Sakusa says, understanding the underlying question. “Just—I don’t know, actually.” He pauses. “You wouldn’t be the Atsumu I know if you dragged me to the empty soccer field after class and confessed to me under the bleachers.”
“Well, you're right ‘bout that,” Atsumu agrees. “Plus, as much as you say that, I’m pretty sure you’d throw the box of chocolates I’d give you across the field if I ever suggested we do that. Too cheesy. And I think that kinda setup’s been done before.”
Sakusa wrinkles his nose. “I wouldn’t waste chocolates like that.”
“Right. Still,” starts Atsumu, wrapping an arm around Sakusa. “I’ll make it up to you.”
“With?”
“Hm.” Atsumu hums. “How do you feel ‘bout dinner at that izakaya a block away from mine? It opened ‘round a month ago. I think it’ll make a real nice date. We haven’t been on one for a while.”
Sakusa raises an eyebrow at him. “You won’t be turned off by the fact that I’ll spend more time cleaning the area than eating with you?”
“Never,” Atsumu promises solemnly. “Hell, I’ll even clean with you.”
It draws out a laugh from Sakusa, a rare moment that catches Atsumu off guard but makes him grin broadly nonetheless, feeling pleased and light all over the same way he did when he asked Sakusa out on the stairwell and Sakusa said, I’ll see you later.
Atsumu leans to give him a quick kiss to the side of his forehead. “I like you, Omi-kun.”
When Sakusa pulls back, he doesn’t say anything, but the pleased expression on his face is all Atsumu needs. They don’t kiss again or even touch as they start to walk to Atsumu’s area to get to the izakaya, but at some point, Atsumu looks at Sakusa and thinks they aren't doomed to anything but to fall in love.