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As nighttime approached on the second day of Tanabata, every other member of the Masked Circle was picked up. Parents came and went in predictable certainty, from Lisa’s tight-lipped father to Eikichi’s, frothing with rage, and, just as predictably, no adult materialized for Jun. He protested when Tatsuya argued with his brother, insisting that there was no need for Tatsuya to linger so late, especially not for his sake, but Tatsuya was rigid.
The thought of Jun alone, as it seemed he always was, clawed and tore at Tatsuya. He couldn’t understand why Jun’s parents simply didn’t care when Jun longed for company so desperately, and deserved so much better. Irritating Katsuya with an unplanned late night at the festival was well worth the comfort growing apparent in Jun’s childish expression as Tatsuya remained unshakeable by his side, even as the hours waned on.
It seemed that Jun had entirely forgotten his embarrassment when the stars became visible, and he craned his neck skywards.
“Do you like stargazing, Tatsuya?” he asked, and Tatsuya tilted his head in silent response. He had seen the stars before, of course, but he didn’t think he knew as much as Jun did. Tatsuya didn’t know any children who did. Jun was very smart, and Tatsuya was lucky that he could listen while he spoke.
“I can teach you,” Jun offered when he looked back down again. His black eyes were bright as if the stars themselves had seeped into them. “My father taught me about the constellations.”
Tatsuya’s heart fluttered. It was a rare treat to see Jun so happy. Anything he liked this much must be good. So he nodded, firm, and Jun broke out into a beam.
“Tonight is a good night to see them!” He said, rocking back and forth on his feet. “It’s usually difficult in the city, because of all of the light, but tonight is clear.”
The night sky was indeed beautiful when Tatsuya followed Jun’s example and laid flat on his back to see better, eyes cast upwards to the scatterings of stars between colorful wispy clouds.
“That one is Ursa Minor…” Jun’s finger darted into Tatsuya’s field of vision, hovering in the direction of a cluster of stars. “And- oh! Did you know that Tanabata is based on a constellation?”
Tatsuya shook his head, bangs falling from his face into the grass. He only knew vague notions of the festival- disconnected ideas like streamers, and carnival games, and how older people tittered about romance.
“That one, there.”
Tatsuya trained his gaze on the brightest star Jun’s finger approached, as his voice continued beside him. Jun was so relaxing, so natural, that Tatsuya hardly even felt that he was with another person, lulled into the story Jun told.
That was Tanabata, Jun explained, a beautiful princess who lived amongst the stars themselves. She was an accomplished weaver, and a dutiful worker, toiling for all eternity to produce cloth for her father, the king of the heavens. The cure for her loneliness turned out to be a shepherd named Kengyu, and the two fell into a deep and moving love for one another- a love so consuming, in fact, that they forgot all else, and the shepherding and weaving remained undone. The pair were separated by an uncrossable river, and Tanabata wept so inconsolably that her father eventually relented, allowing them to meet one day a year.
“Today,” Tatsuya said aloud, as the weight of the festival’s meaning fell upon his chest. He could almost see the figures reaching for one another in the stars, drawn to life through Jun’s words. He was a moving storyteller, so impassioned and effortless to believe.
“Yes, the Tanabata festival,” Jun said with a small laugh, quelling quickly with his next words. “It’s sad that they had to be separated, though. I think a love like that is just beautiful.”
Tatsuya didn’t know much about love. It was for older people, and Maya and Katsuya didn’t date, so the closest thing he knew of was his parents. He wasn’t sure of much when it came to romance, only that it exasperated him when Lisa made him play husband. He could never imagine wanting a wife.
As far as Tatsuya was concerned, if his life ended up being only him and Jun forever, just two friends living with one another for all eternity, that would be just fine.
“Tatsuya?”
Tatsuya looked up at the sound of his name, memory swiftly fading.
Having Jun at his side again was a pleasant experience, if not a surprising one. In a world so uncertain, shaped and reshaped by rumors in what seemed like mere moments, few things seemed unreachable- but Jun was one of them. Loyal to his father and driven astray by false memories, it seemed that convincing him of Tatsuya’s innocence would be insurmountably difficult.
Jun was comfortable enough with him now, however. Tatsuya couldn’t help but notice how alarmingly close he had stepped- near enough to touch, he thought with his heartbeat hammering. The thought made him deeply nervous.
Jun smiled once Tatsuya turned his gaze down towards him, in that mysterious, unreadable way of his, plucking the flower from his pocket to hold in his slender fingers. “I was wondering if perhaps we could talk?”
Tatsuya wasn’t much one for talking. He never had been. Words didn’t come easily to him, but for Jun, he would always make an exception.
He nodded, fingers twitching for his lighter, and Jun’s polite smile broadened.
“Shall we take this somewhere more private…?” He asked as his eyes left Tatsuya’s, downcast and sly.
Tatsuya flicked back the cap of his lighter, thoughts awry. He wasn’t sure what Jun might wish to speak to him about, nor why he wanted to go somewhere so late at night. It was difficult to begrudge him, however, watching his lashes beat light and fluttery against his pale cheeks.
“Sure.” Tatsuya said. “How about a walk?”
Jun seemed pleased with the suggestion, bobbing his head in a nod and tucking the flower back into his coat pocket, although Tatsuya couldn’t be completely sure. It was difficult to discern his emotions as Jun slowly began to disentangle himself from Joker. Nowadays he cloaked his pain in frigid smiles and calm eyes, requesting in unspoken words to be left alone.
Tatsuya still worried, however.
Their path was aimless as they started on one of the many sidewalks running through Sumaru City, falling into comfortable step with one another despite the mutual lack of direction. Jun’s company was something of an enigma to Tatsuya, simultaneously soothing him deeply and setting his nerves alight with anxiety. He found himself second-guessing near every action he took in Jun’s presence, struck by the thought that nothing in the world could possibly be good enough for Jun. He always seemed too ethereal to exist in the same plane as Tatsuya, too untouchably beautiful to be the same species. Even after a grueling day of battles Jun maintained his composure, with a brow dry of sweat and limbs far too lithe for weariness. The dim, sickly yellow of the streetlamps above that made Tatsuya appear washed out became gold dust on his pale skin, like magic.
Jun travelled to a mundane topic as gracefully as the steps of a dance, quickly reiterating his love for walks- the only form of physical exercise he enjoyed, due to their private and introspective nature, but he certainly wouldn’t begrudge company as exceptional as Tatsuya’s. It was really only a testament to his charms when, blushing furiously, Tatsuya could come up with no better response than telling Jun that he ran track for exercise. Under the honest impression that the both of them were content, Tatsuya could be forgiven for forgetting that Jun had originally asked him on a walk for a conversation. There was no need for an excuse to make time spent with Jun worthy, after all.
It was only natural for Tatsuya to become alarmed when he realized that Jun had fallen behind, jerking his head backwards to see his friend standing lonesome a few sidewalk panels from him. He rushed back in a flurry of thoughts and motion, words of concern poised on his tongue, but Jun hardly seemed aware of him at all.
“Did you mean what you said?” Jun asked. His voice was nothing like its usual tone, small and hoarse.
It wasn’t uncommon for Tatsuya to misinterpret the words of others, or misunderstand them entirely, but Jun was different. His meaning came instinctually, naturally, like taking a step, or falling asleep. When Tatsuya stared at Jun in question, studying his face for any hints, he found himself thinking of their confrontation with Lisa’s shadow. It was a natural thing to think of, while their wounds still stung and muscles still ached, but Tatsuya instead lingered on the conversation just before the battle.
It had been strange, to hear that Lisa harbored such feelings for him. Tatsuya never would have considered a partner other than Jun. He didn’t think he was capable. And he had told her shadow this with no reservations, that his eyes were solely for Jun.
So Tatsuya’s answer was simple. “I wouldn’t lie.”
Jun’s breath caught, and his head turned. Tatsuya had almost certainly done something wrong.
“Even after all I’ve done?” he asked, voice shaking, wounded.
Tatsuya was scandalized at the implication. “Jun-“
“You harbor feelings for a murderer and tyrant.” Jun’s eyes burned into Tatsuya’s once more, when he whipped around to face him. “Is this what you expect me to believe?”
“Yes.” Tatsuya said, because he couldn’t possibly think of anything else. It seemed to quell Jun’s sudden fury, as his lips turned downwards in morose quiet.
When Jun next spoke his voice was hushed, muffled as he stared down at the flower in his hand. “I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me.”
Words failed Tatsuya at the accusation. He couldn’t fathom disliking Jun, just as it was impossible to picture a world without gravity or matter. He was Tatsuya’s anchor to life, the color that gave it meaning, but how could he possibly explain such a feeling?
Acting out of instinct more than conscious thought, Tatsuya retrieved his lighter from his pocket. Jun looked up at the motion, glancing to the peace offering and then upwards to Tatsuya’s eyes, softened in adoration and attempting to relay the rush of emotion beating through his chest.
It’s always with me. I keep this on my person at all times, as a reminder of you, and all you mean to me. You are an inseparable part of me.
Jun inhaled visibly as understanding dawned on his face. He knew Tatsuya’s mind like his own, reading Tatsuya’s silence as easily as he would a novel.
“You’re everything to me.” Tatsuya finally said, plain but honest.
The two stepped to face one another in tandem, and the closer they drifted the more the air sparked with electrifying closeness. Suddenly, the world seemed alight with possibility, and the thousands of ways that Tatsuya could come into physical contact with Jun, taking his hands, or perhaps stroking his cheek, or running a hand along his neck. It was as the moment flourished, however, that Tatsuya was suddenly struck with the immutable and catastrophic embarrassment of a teenaged boy laying his soul bare. Tatsuya turned his face away from Jun, busy staring up at him with wide, sparkling eyes, as his cheeks burned red.
“Do… you like me too?”
It was downright mortifying to hear Jun laugh in response. If Tatsuya was capable, he would have melted on the spot- or exploded, or blinked out of existence, or any way of assuaging the mind-searing, gut-wrenching shame.
Just as Tatsuya was in the midst of preparing a swift escape, lamenting that this was the first scenario in which his track skills were applicable, Jun interrupted with his answer.
“Of course I do.”
Tatsuya’s eyes shot open. Jun shone with sincerity, head tilted slightly, and the knot in Tatsuya’s chest unfurled.
“You do,” he repeated, if only for confirmation- to see Jun’s eyes fall shut in another giggle, clasped hand hovering before his mouth, as he nodded.
Something slotted into place then, deep in Tatsuya’s heart, as he grasped Jun’s delicate hands in his own. The longing that had burned within him for so long combusted into a fireworks display, spreading to the tips of his fingers in intoxicating warmth. It seemed such slim fortune that Jun would share his feelings, yet so natural at the same time, that the two of them were meant to be one.
The relief quieted slightly, and it was as Tatsuya became aware of Jun staring up at him, expectant, that he realized he had a question.
“…what does this mean?”
For them, for their relationship, for the future- Jun seemed to comprehend his meaning as easily as ever, as he released one of Tatsuya’s hands to tuck his hair behind his ear. “I suppose… we are lovers, now.”
It was an immensely satisfying word to Tatsuya’s ears. People usually discussed romance in modern terms- of dating, boyfriends, girlfriends, crushes, but Jun’s description seemed so much more romantic. It made Tatsuya think of love stories for nobles and knights of eons past, consecrated and hallowed in old poetry and songs, and as though Jun himself were a prince offering Tatsuya his hand.
“Mount Iwato…”
At the sound of his voice, Tatsuya looked up, following the path of Jun’s musing gaze to the sign nearby. He realized, with a jolt, that their aimless walk had taken them to their childhood haunt. Returning here with Jun felt hopelessly nostalgic, although they had already visited Araya with the rest of their friends. Time spent alone with Jun always felt more private, more special in the most indescribable of ways.
Jun’s hand squeezed Tatsuya’s. “We should go!”
It was the first time Tatsuya had seen excitement spark on Jun’s face since they were young, with all of the innocent joy of his childhood self returning to his older features. As Tatsuya’s head rushed with affection, he knew that he couldn’t possibly love Jun more. His vigor for life, and dreams, and passion about different subjects were all simply captivating.
Although it was rather late, Tatsuya couldn’t possibly rest after a conversation like this, and a confession still occupying every inch of his brain. He nodded, allowing Jun to lead him to Araya Shrine, unable to wrench his thoughts away from the undeniable fact that Jun’s fingers were still linked in his.
When they sat on the steps of the shrine, rough and serrated under a Tatsuya who was too elated to care, Jun brushed his bangs back and smiled at him, broad yet tender. It was darker here, stolen away from the dull yellow of the streetlamps, illuminated only by the starry sky above. Tatsuya missed the clear sight of Jun, but there was a beautiful novelty to see him here, adorned in muted starlight.
“Do you still look at the stars?” Tatsuya heard himself ask, a thought vocalized before he had even finished thinking it. Jun turned his head upwards, and his fingers slipped away from Tatsuya’s as he faced the sky above.
“See that one?”
It was difficult to tear his gaze away from Jun, far more lovely than any star in the sky, but Tatsuya complied nonetheless, following the line of Jun’s pointed finger. He wasn’t much of an astronomer, he couldn’t really connect the dots into the pictures Jun talked about, but Tatsuya supposed that was par for the course with Jun’s vivid imagination.
“Polaris… the North Star.” Jun explained, as Tatsuya squinted the damned thing into view. “It’s nicknamed for the cardinal direction… and bright, as well, easy to see with the naked eye. That’s why it’s so useful, used often as a benchmark for studies and charts.”
Tatsuya chewed on the inside of his cheek, reasonably certain that the small pinprick of light he was looking at was the correct one, but unable to know for sure.
“It’s said that the star was a guiding beacon for sailors…” Jun continued, bracing himself forwards on his knees. “They followed its light to return home.”
Tatsuya nodded in agreement. Everyone needed some grounding force with them, a physical reminder of their dreams. It was something to touch on when people were discouraged, to hold back any dread or doubt.
“Studying the stars isn’t only about understanding the science. There’s a human element to them as well, because we have looked to the heavens as long as we have existed…” Jun said, drumming his nails against weathered wood. “Some might call that hubris, but I think it’s more a matter of hope. Humans don’t believe that their heroes and stories must be cast into the farthest reaches of the galaxy, timeless and grand, only aspire that they might.”
Jun certainly belonged amongst the stars, with the edges of his face and hair glowing slightly in the dim light. Tatsuya wondered if this was why Xibalba had risen up into the sky, why humanity had so readily believed in a spaceship, and why Jun had agreed to assist the rumor to begin with.
“There’s something so beautiful about them…” Jun continued, as his words fell into a reverent whisper. “It’s fascinating, to learn that the same sky you’ve seen hundreds of times secretly holds so much behind its clouds, a whole universe rich in human emotion and struggle…”
Tatsuya inhaled deeply, scanning the sky above yet again. Whatever Jun saw in the tiny dots was elusive to him, hidden well among a perfectly normal cloudy night sky. Jun always saw more than Tatsuya, however- more in himself, and in Tatsuya, and in humanity as a whole.
When the sky had conferred the full force of its wisdom upon Jun, and he turned to face Tatsuya once more, his soft features had become serene.
“I think I’m home again, Tatsuya,” Jun said.
He shifted slightly and leaned back against Tatsuya, resting himself in the jut of Tatsuya’s hip and leaning his head along Tatsuya’s chest. Tatsuya’s heart jackhammered at the contact of Jun’s skin and clothes on him, at supporting Jun’s weight and feeling each breath travel through his body, at the light floral scent of his hair wafted to him in full force. Crickets chirped soothing in the distance, and Tatsuya worked through the paralyzing questions falling like hail into his mind- should he shift to better support Jun? Should he do anything at all? He hadn’t spoken in a long while- Jun usually didn’t mind Tatsuya’s silence, but he seemed so vulnerable now.
Cautiously, and as slowly as any awkward teenager, Tatsuya shifted his right hand to hold Jun’s waist. Jun hummed at the touch, leaning further in, and Tatsuya exhaled a breath he hadn’t known he was holding at the success. If his first idea was sound, it followed that the next should be as well. Emboldened, Tatsuya searched every crevice of his mind for something to say.
“You’re beautiful,” was all Tatsuya could come up with, and he instantly winced. It sounded shallow to his ears when he had meant so much more, that he could listen to Jun speak for eternities, that his voice was music and his thoughts were gold, that even just watching the subtle expressions on his face and the breaths in his chest was captivating. Jun seemed to understand, however, flushing a pleasant red just barely visible in the dusk.
As if things couldn’t get any worse for him, Tatsuya’s soul just about left his body when Jun pecked him on the cheek.
“Clair de Lune is my favorite restaurant,” Jun said as he drew back, lidded eyes alight. “…in case you were curious.”
Tatsuya made careful note of the fact.