Work Text:
In hindsight, Namjoon should have rehearsed his speech. Better yet, he should do it in front of his bandmates. Throw out his key points, then parse their feedback. They might even provide insightful counter-arguments, so that he could plan the responses accordingly.
Sadly, this strategy was eclipsed by the overpowering need to tell his and Seokjin's parents - to get it over with - as soon as possible. The family dinner was a perfect occasion, being a more or less routine meeting of two families who came from the same province. And that was how, during the dinner at Seokjin's parents' Seoul house, Namjoon let slip about the joint apartment.
All four parents stopped eating and stared at him. Seokjin went utterly still, chopsticks poised over his bowl. The tight set of his mouth might imply worry, disapproval, or both. Namjoon could empathize, since he too disapproved of his recklessness.
"The Hannam-dong apartments, you mean?" Namjoon's father asked. "I thought you two bought them as properties."
Breathe in, breathe out. Don't dwell on what cannot be fixed, and move on. With a small smile, Namjoon looked his father in the eye.
"We did. This is another apartment. Just for me and Seokjin hyung - for us to live in."
Their parents exchanged swift glances. Their puzzlement was rising like an impalpable mist in the dining room. Seokjin's mother turned toward Namjoon. "Why would you need that? Is there a problem with the dorm?" Her eyes went wide. "Or with the other boys - ?"
Namjoon shook his head. "No, no - all seven of us get along great, like always! It's just that hyung and I... we'll need a place of our own. Only for the two of us." He finished uncertainly, feeling like a broken record.
The ensuing silence was briefer, yet more ominous. Frowns gathered on the parents' faces. The room temperature seemed to drop; despite that, Namjoon's mouth went dry and the space between his shoulder blades grew damp with sweat.
"Namjoon," his father intoned. "Is this your way of telling us that you and Seokjin are getting married?"
"No, Dad, we're not. We're simply going to spend our lives together, he and I. Perhaps starting from the end of our contract with the company. This apartment is something we've been discussing for some time now."
His father raised an eyebrow. "You two are going to live together without getting married. That part I can understand, though not completely agree with. Your mother and I just never knew you two are in love."
"Neither did we," Seokjin's father said.
Seokjin spoke up for the first time. "Joon and I do love each other. But it's not the kind of love that makes us want to get married. What we have between us is not romance. It's platonic, but just as solid and binding as romantic love."
Their parents were no longer frowning. Once again they merely stared, which weighed even more on Namjoon. He cleared his throat.
"That type of feeling does exist, Dad," he said. "It's what hyung and I have. You've seen it, right? In how we look at and constantly gravitate toward each other."
Last night he had prepared this speech, had even jotted down parts of it. After crossing out some phrases and rewriting others, his confidence slid up a notch. I got this. Our parents will understand. They will agree with our decision, and everything should turn out fine.
Now, in front of four parents whose expressions had gone from bemused to impassive, Namjoon's confidence took an alarming plunge. It was obvious that they didn't fully understand - or, if they did, they were reluctant to agree. Worse, they might suspect he was merely spouting off grand-sounding words, to coerce them into accepting something they would regret.
Seokjin's father broke the silence. "So both of you are going to live together as... what? Lifelong companions? Friends with benefit?"
Another, heavier silence. Each parent fixed their son with a relentless gaze. The spot between Namjoon's shoulder blades was cold by now. He started to reply but Seokjin beat him to it.
"As an aromantic couple," he said. He looked vaguely intimidated, perhaps because he was presenting his parents with an unfamiliar word. "That's what we are. It means - "
"Your mother and I know what it means," his father interrupted. "It's just not the future we see for either of our sons. We adore your brother's child, and we'd love to do the same to yours. Do you plan to adopt?"
"At the moment? No," Seokjin whispered.
Namjoon could almost hear I'm sorry tremble at the end of the sentence. His hand twitched, desperate to reach out and clasp Seokjin's fingers in his. Instead, he pressed his hands against his thighs, getting ready for whatever came next.
His mother sighed. It was a wintery sound, one Namjoon had never heard her make before. She looked down at the table and away from her son. Namjoon's heart took a plunge along with his confidence; he would have preferred passionate outbursts over this lack of visible emotion.
"Is that your final decision?" she asked.
"Yes." A single syllable that rolled off his tongue like jagged stone. Keeping his voice steady, Namjoon murmured, "And Dad, Mom, Uncle, Aunt - we would very much like to have your blessings."
"I see. Then we have nothing more to talk about." She picked up her chopsticks. Her tone was brisk as she added, "Let's eat before the food gets cold."
*
"Was that harder than you expected?" Namjoon asked. "I mean, I found it difficult to read their reaction. How about you?"
They were in Namjoon's room, having changed out of their jackets and trousers. The digital clock on the bedside table said it was past eleven p.m. Sitting on the edge of his bed, Namjoon wasn't sleepy at all. Traces of post-dinner adrenaline still occasionally buzzed under his skin.
When he and Seokjin had taken their leave, their parents were distant, almost distracted. He had the impression that they did indeed object to his and Seokjin's decision. It had been gnawing at him ever since, although he also hoped the impression had mostly come from nerves.
Seokjin was standing next to Namjoon's bookshelves, arms folded, face a little tense. "It's difficult for me too, yeah," he said. "But I was ready for them not getting thrilled right away. My father especially - he's always wanted a lot of grandkids."
"Would they, you know, disagree? As in tell us not to go on with it?"
"No, that's not the vibe I'm getting. I think they just need some time to get used to the idea. Since we kind of dropped it on them without warning."
Namjoon felt himself blushing to the tips of his ears. "Okay - that was a blunder on my part. I should've given them hints from, like, a month ago."
Seokjin's gaze softened. "Oh, hey. Joon, I'm not shading you. Really! It just caught me off guard, that's all. I didn't want to keep putting it off either - the sooner they know, the better."
As he spoke, the tenseness melted away from his face. Unlocking his arms, he walked over to the bed. Namjoon opened his legs wider in invitation, and Seokjin sat down between them. With a sigh of contentment, he leaned back against Namjoon's chest.
"In fact," Seokjin went on, "I'm relieved you brought it up tonight. This way we're giving them more time to see our point of view. And they'll get there, and accept it."
Namjoon arms gently slipped around Seokjin's waist. "You really believe they will?"
"Sure." There was a smile in Seokjin's voice. "We just need to talk more often to them - convince them that this is what we want. Our parents are not stubborn or contrary. They'll come around eventually."
"First of all, what you said is technically a conjecture - "
"Kim Namjoon, are you seriously going all linguistic on me?"
" - one we'll have to work from. Happiness is a verb, hyung. It's not something static once achieved, but something we maintain. We'd only get our parents' approval if we work for it. Once we do get it, we should value their trust in us so we won't lose that trust."
Seokjin hummed. "Sounds hopeful. Sign me up."
"That work might take a couple of months, or years. Brace yourself."
"But you'll be by my side, won't you? That makes it even more hopeful."
"Mmm." Namjoon laid his chin on Seokjin's shoulder, inhaling the scent of Seokjin's favorite perfume. Roses-like with an undertone of spice, it always soothed him, like a promise only Seokjin could deliver. Moments like this had become the highlight of his days, and he'd fight for them every inch of the way.
*
When Seokjin first suggested that they should live together, Namjoon's reaction was one of level-headedness.
They were in Namjoon's room after a long day of practicing new choreography. Seokjin was lying on his side, snug and warm under the bedcovers. Namjoon sat behind his desk, transcribing something from his phone to a notebook. A song by The Weeknd floated thinly from the phone's speakers; Namjoon always shared his favorite music with Seokjin first before tweeting about it.
"Namjoon-ah."
"Hmm?" He glanced up from the lined pages. The light from the table lamp illuminated the lower half of his face. Even so, Seokjin could see lines of exhaustion on Namjoon's forehead. A kiss would soothe them away only for a few minutes, so to Seokjin the solution was easy: give him more kisses for a longer period of time.
He pushed down the bedcovers and sat up. "Let's do this for the rest of our lives."
"Do what?"
"Work side by side. Go for lunch dates - or dinners, I'm not fussy. Know for sure that, at the end of the day, we have someone to go home to."
As Seokjin spoke, the lines on Namjoon's forehead deepened. "Home? As in, you want us to build a home together?"
"Exactly."
"Hyung, are you proposing to me?"
"Er. No? Unless you want to get married. Do you? It's all the same to me, as long as we're together."
"...Okay."
"Okay! Good."
"Hold on, can we just - I don't know, backtrack a little bit? To make things clear and more precise."
"Sure."
Namjoon put down his pen. "Do you still remember the early days?"
"Which part?" Seokjin asked, wiggling his eyebrows. "Sneaking off to the bathroom together in TV stations, or washing the sheets when the boys aren't around? Because we still do all that."
Namjoon grinned. "We were also confused that close, repeated physical connections never changed our feelings for each other. They remained strong, but never became love. As if we were already satisfied with lust."
Seokjin nodded. "Yeah. For a while there I felt guilty - like I'm using my best friend for my own pleasure. Totally not how I want it to be. That was before you discovered that what we have might be queer and platonic. There's an explanation for it! Nothing is wrong with us! I was overjoyed."
"Which brings us back to your, er, proposal just now. What we have here is already wonderful. We're both fully aware how we feel and how precious it is to us. Aren't we?"
Seokjin gave him a thumbs-up.
"Not that I don't want this to continue," Namjoon said, "but what if someday we fall for someone else? We'll definitely keep meeting a lot of new people later on. One of them might become... what we are to each other right now, or more."
The catch in Namjoon's voice - that flash of insecurity - broke Seokjin's heart a little. You're amazing, hyung, he had once said. Like, one in a billion amazing. Who wouldn't want to be a special person to you? And Seokjin knew better than to praise Namjoon in return - at least, not in so many words.
Giving Namjoon his fondest smile, he replied, "That might be. But I don't think I'll ever find someone else like you. All those years we've shared are just irreplaceable, Joonie. And I want to have more years like that ahead of me. Tell me that's okay with you."
Namjoon smiled back. All signs of doubt had vanished from his expression, and Seokjin's own spirits soared. "It's more than okay to me," Namjoon said. "It's perfect-everything I'll ever want."
"Awesome. Come here."
Once Namjoon got into bed, Seokjin held out his arms. Namjoon snuggled against him, tucking his head into Seokjin's shoulder. This right here, Seokjin decided, was the best feeling in the world: safe in each other's presence, skin to warm skin, the world shut away for now.
*
They told the other members two weeks before the family dinner, during a short break between shootings for Run episodes.
At Namjoon's request, everyone gathered in the living room. Yoongi, Hoseok, and Taehyung were seated on the sofa. Jeongguk was perched on the back of the sofa, while Jimin sat cross-legged on the carpeted floor. Namjoon and Seokjin occupied the chair in front of the members. He still remembered how the AC was turned off because the night was chilly, and how solemn the members had looked.
"First off, this is a personal matter," Namjoon began. "Not at all related to the band or the company - this is about Seokjin hyung and me. We want you guys to know before everyone else."
Yoongi raised a hand. "Sorry for interrupting, but does this have something to do with Jin hyung spending more nights in your room?"
Silence fell. A crease appeared on Hoseok's forehead. Jeongguk's eyes went even rounder than usual. Jimin sat up straighter, eyebrows rising to his hairline. Only Taehyung remained motionless, his gaze fixed on Namjoon and Seokjin in turns. Yoongi, meanwhile, looked mildly bewildered at the effect that his words were having.
"If it does," he went on, "I, for one, don't mind. Because every time Jin hyung returns to our room, he looks happy. Fulfilled. Makes me just as happy to see him like that."
"Has he?" Jeongguk asked. "Has Jin hyung been spending a lot of nights at Namjoon hyung's room, I mean?"
"Two or three days out of seven," Yoongi replied. "I'm not counting, Jin hyung's just regular like clockwork."
Namjoon blinked. "And you... never commented until now?"
"Should I have? I figured we'd get an official announcement, like this one, sooner or later. Besides, as you said, it's personal - doesn't affect our work or music. Anyway, whatever you two have going on, you have my best wishes."
"And mine," Hoseok said. The crease disappeared, replaced by his sunny smile. "Hyung has been glowing these past few months. You too, Namjoonie. I was going to ask, but afraid it wasn't my place, so it's great that you're bringing it up."
"All right," Namjoon said, a little weakly. It wasn't Yoongi and Hoseok's sharp eyes that surprised him so much as their unquestioning acceptance. But why should he be surprised? More than anything else, all seven of them had always wished for each other's happiness. By the way, hyung and I haven't been too obvious or anything, have we? he wanted to ask, then decided he was embarrassed enough as it was.
"Good luck, you two!" Hoseok said, his smile growing wider. "Anything you need, just let us know. We're one hundred percent behind you."
"Thank you, Hope-ah, everyone. You took the words out of my mouth, in the best possible way."
Hearing this from an accomplished lyricist, Yoongi looked even more solemn. "Is that all?"
"Um, just one more thing. Hyung and I are planning to live together after the contract ends. We've found an apartment, here in Seoul. You're all welcome there anytime."
"Wow, already?" Hoseok whistled. "Impressive. You two are nothing if not thorough."
Afraid of boring the members with another thank-you, Namjoon clapped his hands together instead. "That'll be all for now. It's three in the morning and we have practice at eight. Thank you, guys."
"Are you going to get married?" Jeongguk asked, bouncing up and down. "When? Can I be best man?"
Seokjin gave a shaky laugh, his ears going pink. "Whoa, one thing at a time, Gukie! Isn't this enough revelation for one night?"
"Not to me," Jimin murmured. He got up from the floor, feline-like in his complacence. "Not really a revelation."
With that, the meeting broke up. There hadn't been a single word or reaction from Taehyung, which made Namjoon lowkey anxious. While he was certain Taehyung didn't disapprove, he couldn't guess how, exactly, Taehyung had taken in the news. All in good time, he told himself, leaving the living room last and turning off the lights.
*
Seokjin was a light sleeper, sensitive to movements, so Namjoon always took extra care when he withdrew his arms from around Seokjin's waist. This morning he managed not to jolt the bed - only to stub his toe on the bedside table. With a muffled curse, he hopped across the floor; Seokjin muttered in his sleep, but that was all.
Their next schedule, a photoshoot, began at one p.m. Before that, they had the morning all for themselves. Soon the others would wake up and someone, maybe two someones, would make breakfast. This serenity was fleeting, so Namjoon intended to make the most of it.
Taehyung was sitting alone in the kitchen, nursing a steaming mug of tea. He didn't look up when Namjoon entered. As Namjoon plugged in the electric kettle and rummaged around for instant cappuccino, Taehyung remained in his seat. From time to time he sipped at his tea, not looking in Namjoon's direction. This quiet reminded Namjoon too much of last night's family dinner, which rattled him.
"Taehyung-ah," he said, a little too casually, "is there something you want to tell me?"
His younger brother's expression was unreadable. "Why'd you ask?"
"Because you haven't said anything ever since Seokjin hyung and I announced our retirement plan."
Taehyung snorted. "What retirement? You won't even be forty just yet." He put down his mug. "I don't disagree, if that's what you're thinking."
Inside Namjoon's chest, a huge load seemed to be crumbling into dust. He had been afraid that any of the members disapproved, for any reason. It was ridiculous - their support for each other had always been boundless - but he could have missed something.
"Then what is it?"
"Nothing. Just me making a mountain out of a molehill."
"Spill it out. I want to hear."
Taehyung hesitated. "You and Seokjin hyung told your parents last night. How did it go?"
Namjoon considered his answer. "We're... cautiously optimistic? It is too much to take in all at once. We're giving them time to process the whole thing." He paused. "Wait, is that what's been bugging you? How Seokjin hyung's parents and mine are taking the news?"
"That, and one other thing. But like I said, mountain out of a molehill."
The electric kettle had switched off. Namjoon poured boiling water into his mug, then stirred the brew. "Are you sure? It must be important if it's bugging you."
Taehyung chewed on his lower lip. "This isn't even about you and hyung. It's me. You said your parents are still processing the news? To be honest, so am I."
"Processing how?"
"Remember I said that I want to see everyone's kids? I mean it. After we no longer work as performers, I'd love to have a gathering every year, each of us bringing our own kids. They can get to know each other, maybe even get along. Then I discovered that only some of us might become parents."
Namjoon stopped blowing on his mug. "Hyung and I don't plan to have kids, that's true. Who else doesn't?"
"Yoongi hyung, maybe. He told me that all he wants is to keep making music, lots of it. He might have a partner and kids, or he might not. Music is what matters most to him. Domestic life is not really high on his list."
This came as no surprise to Namjoon. Yoongi's first love was the driving force of his life. Every now and then he meandered away - to architecture, language study, painting - but music was the true, final harbor of his soul. It was what gave him peace and purpose.
"I'm sharing this with Yoongi hyung's permission," Taehyung added. "You being the leader and all. Yes, his personal choices are his own business, but we've always been open about our personal lives among ourselves."
Namjoon nodded. "How did the subject of kids come up, anyway?"
"He and I were talking about Daegu, about whether we'd return to live there. That was when he mentioned about possibly not having a partner or kids."
"Well, we'll never know, won't we? He might adopt Jeongguk."
Taehyung chuckled. "He wishes! Anyway, no need to worry about me - I'm adjusting. You and Jin hyung go ahead and be happy. I'm rooting for you, hyung!"
A desire - all-powerful, deep-rooted - to envelop Taehyung in a hug swept over Namjoon. The seven of them had truly been fortunate to have found each other. It was something he'd never stopped marveling at, perhaps never would. He reined in the desire, not wanting to alarm Taehyung, and settled for a murmured, "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Taehyung patted Namjoon's knee, then broke into a cheerful grin. "Now, which one of us should attempt to make breakfast?"
*
A week after they officially bought the apartment, Namjoon and Seokjin finally found the time for another quick visit. Despite precautions, news of the purchase had leaked into the internet. However, since the purchase was under Namjoon's name, no one thought much about it; most people assumed he had merely secured himself another property.
Seokjin parked their borrowed car in the basement, and they tugged their masks on before going to the elevator. They met no one on their way up and along the corridor leading to the apartment. It was two-storied, with a vast kitchen space and two upstairs bedrooms. Stepping into the foyer, Namjoon was grateful to discover that the magic hadn't waned.
This place was theirs. He and Seokjin were going to spend the rest of their natural lives here. Just the two of them, waking up next to each other every morning, sharing stories of their days late into the night. The anticipation almost overwhelmed him and he squeezed Seokjin's hand; Seokjin squeezed back, eyes shining with his own wordless joy.
They went around the first floor, deciding to keep the walls white for now. The flight of steps leading to the second floor were wide and equipped with elbow-high railings, ideal for preventing accidents. One of the upstairs bedrooms had a window facing east, which Seokjin found deplorable.
"We are not sleeping here," he declared. "Having the sunlight wake me up sucks. That is not what sunlight's supposed to do! The guest room's downstairs, so this room can be your studio or something."
"Gotcha," Namjoon replied, trailing after Seokjin as they moved on to the second bedroom. Bigger than the first, it was also right across the bathroom - a great arrangement for Namjoon, according to the members. He and Seokjin checked the downstairs bathroom, were awed once more by the spacious bathtub, then left the apartment.
Namjoon was closing the door behind him when Seokjin's phone vibrated. He fished it out of his coat pocket and unlocked the screen. From his grimace, Namjoon could tell the message was not work-related.
"My mom," Seokjin reported. "She wants us to have another family dinner, sometime before the end of this week."
"Huh. Two family dinners in one month? Unusual."
"Very."
Namjoon grunted. "Why would our parents do this? Can't be because the last dinner was a roaring success."
Seokjin gave a rueful laugh. "Maybe, this time around, the parents are ready for one of two things. Learn more about our long-term plan, or try to talk us out of it. Which one are you betting on?"
Namjoon smiled into Seokjin's eyes. If they weren't in a public, camera-monitored place, he would bop their noses together, to give Seokjin a little more courage. Familial opposition, if that was what the upcoming dinner would bring, was not insurmountable. He and Seokjin would just need to be persuasive, even wily. It wouldn't be a smooth ride, but definitely doable.
"I'm ready for anything if you are, hyung. How about this Sunday? Our schedule ends at five, we'll have plenty of time for dinner - and to prepare ourselves."
Seokjin huffed. "Guess so. Gotta work for our happiness and all that, right?" He glowered at his phone, as though the gadget were partly responsible for their predicament. As he typed the reply, he asked, "Just curious - are you going to draft another speech?"
That startled a laugh out of Namjoon. Seokjin chortled along with him, and slipped the phone back into his pocket. Together they walked down the corridor, toward the dinner - which Namjoon thought of as stage two of their journey.