Work Text:
Five days.
Oikawa Tooru can do many things in five days. Practice jump serves until he masters it with frightening accuracy. Eat a hundred packs of milk bread until his stomach protests loudly. Learn one of those card tricks he once saw on TV and render the deck useless by losing a few cards.
What he somehow can’t do, is get over a certain man by the name of Iwaizumi Hajime.
In hindsight, it had seemed like a logically suitable decision. They’re going their separate ways, onto diverging paths with miles of distance between them. Long-distance relationships don’t always fall apart, but Oikawa has read and heard enough stories about the subject to know only few can brave the odds and make it through unscathed. He thought it would be wiser to rip off the band-aid now instead of drowning slowly in the suffocating helplessness when they inevitably drift apart. Besides, Iwaizumi hadn’t outrightly rejected his suggestion when he said it’d probably be better for them to take a break, citing their different futures as the reason.
What he didn’t tell Iwaizumi was that he doesn’t want to hold his childhood friend back. Oikawa knows that he’s needy and annoying and emotional, knows that sometimes he gets so invested in volleyball that he overlooks even Iwaizumi, knows that Iwaizumi would probably be better off without him. Knows that Iwaizumi will go to America and study hard without Oikawa’s distractions, then go on to do greater things.
Oikawa knows he is a selfish person, but he is willing to let the thing that matters to him most go as long as Iwaizumi can reach his full potential and be happy.
That is what the setter repeats to himself every single day, holed up in his room, staring at the ceiling. He knows he’s made the right choice.
So why does he feel so empty?
Because Iwa-chan is gone, his brain supplies. Oikawa closes his eyes, letting the soft hum of the air conditioner fill his ears. He can almost imagine Iwaizumi lying next to him, magazines littering the floor and a plate of watermelon between them to beat the summer heat. He’d reach across and intertwine his fingers with Iwaizumi’s, and even though the other boy always complained that it was too hot to hold hands, he would never let go. Then Oikawa would beg Iwaizumi to feed him the fruit because he’s too lazy to move his arms, and Iwaizumi would scoff but still hold a piece up to his mouth and make him sit up to eat it so he wouldn’t choke…
Oikawa turns his head to the side and opens his eyes to the sight of the empty spot next to him, where a warm body should be. He used to feel the simplest sense of bliss, just lying on the floor on scorching summer afternoons with his best friend.
Now he just feels like a hollow shell, living but spending his days without meaning.
He thinks he can almost hear the heavy footsteps of Iwaizumi whenever he would come over, can hear the sound of feet halting right outside his door.
The door inches open, startling Oikawa out of his thoughts and the boy sits up to acknowledge the newcomer. His heart almost stops beating when a spiky-haired boy stares back at him through the crack between the door and the wall. Oikawa notes Iwaizumi’s unruly hair (even messier than usual) and the dark bags under his eyes, like he hasn’t slept well for a week. The setter’s pretty sure he looks the same (he feels like that too), having stayed in his room except for meals and unable to sleep at night without Iwaizumi’s good-night, Loserkawa messages. For a moment, he thinks his mother has finally grown tired of his moping around and called in Iwaizumi to try and fix the situation, not knowing Iwaizumi himself is the cause of the situation. But then, Oikawa takes in Iwaizumi’s sheepish expression and the way he hesitantly pokes his head through the gap and knows that his best friend is here on his own accord, probably with something to say.
“Hey,” Oikawa croaks, then clears his throat. It feels weird to be speaking after a week of minimal talking since he didn’t have Iwaizumi to bother anymore.
“Hey,” Iwaizumi returns. “Can I come in?”
Oikawa nods, watching as the boy at the door enters and closes it behind him.
“Oikawa… I…” Iwaizumi scratches his neck, a sign of nervousness. “I made a mistake—”
“No, Iwa-chan, I did,” Oikawa interrupts, a week of desperation and misery spilling into his tone. “I shouldn’t have ended what we had. I know I’m selfish, which is why I’ll admit I shouldn’t have let you go.”
“That’s not selfish. I didn’t—still don’t, want to let you go,” Iwaizumi says. “Look, I know we were both worried about our future and the distance and whatnot, but why should we be? Some people make it through, and some don’t, so why did we give up before we try? We could be one of those couples that persist through it—
“I was stupid. I now know we can, Iwa-chan. I’ve been thinking about you so much for the past week every day and I honestly feel like I can’t live without you in my life,” Oikawa admits, tears springing into his eyes. “I don’t want to experience that again.”
“You won’t,” Iwaizumi assures. “I won’t ever let you go again— that is, if… you’re willing to give us another ch—”
“Yes, of course!” Oikawa cries, tears now streaming down his face from all the pent-up sorrow and frustration at himself for the past five days. “I’m sorry, Iwa-chan, I shouldn’t have—”
Iwaizumi kneels onto the ground to wrap his arms around the weeping Oikawa. “Me too, I’m sorry I hurt you—”
“I hurt you too, you can’t just—”
“No, it’s not just your fault. We both made a foolish mistake, and we just have to make sure we don’t do it again.” Iwaizumi lifts up one of Oikawa’s hands to press a kiss to his palm. “I promise I won’t.”
“Me too, Iwa-chan, I promise,” Oikawa whispers back.
Iwaizumi doesn’t feed watermelons to him that afternoon and hold his hand until it gets unbearably sweaty, but he does so much more.
∞
“I wanted to let you go because I’d be holding you back and—”
“That is the most absurd thing you’ve ever said, and you say a lot of weird things.”
“Iwa-chan! I’m trying to be honest here—”
“Tooru.”
“…”
“You would never hold me back. You’re so strong and hard-working and an inspiration, and I’m so lucky to have met you. You’re not a burden, Tooru. You make me a better person, so we can be the best together.”
“…”
“…”
“… Iwa-c-chan—”
“Are you really crying—”
“It w-was to-ouching, alright? Y-you’re not always t-this romantic, I h-have to savor it!”
“You’re such a loser.”
“You can’t insult me and smile at the same time!”
“I take great pleasure in insulting you.”
“You’re so mean.”
“…”
“…”
“Really though. I’m glad we’re together… because I love you.”
“Me too, Iwa-chan. I love you too.”