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"Babe, come here." Matsukawa made grabby hands at his boyfriend, head tilted just slightly to the side.
Hanamaki glanced at him over the rim of his glasses, pressing his thumb between the pages of his book as to not lose where he was at. Quickly though, he returned to his book, leaving Matsukawa where he was, laying on their raggedy couch that was too short for either of them.
"Hiro."
"Please."
In the end his voice was nothing but a whisper, fading. However, it caught Hanamaki's attention, and this time his interest wasn't fleeting. He heard something akin to desperation in Matsukawa's voice, and the last plead sounded just wrong.
Hanamaki let the book drop, not caring about which page he had been and stood up from his desk. He hurried to the couch, where Matsukawa was staring at the ceiling. Eyes unfocused.
"Issei, what's wrong?" Hanamaki kneeled by the couch, not exactly sure what had happened. At first he had figured Matsukawa just wanted to fool around, but clearly something was wrong.
A few moments later, Matsukawa's eyes refocused and he turned slowly towards Hanamaki. He trailed over Hanamaki's face, lifting his hand to follow his eyes.
His fingers wound behind Hanamaki's neck and with a gentle pull he brought the man closer. Hanamaki let him, slightly unsure how to act, for he'd never seen Matsukawa like this.
Matsukawa brought Hanamaki's neck close enough to smell his scent, the cheap brand olive oil hair conditioner invading his nostrils, and he inhaled deep. The smell worked as an anchor, but it wasn't enough.
Matsukawa brought his lips to the tender skin and kissed it. Reveling in the familiarity, the warmth, the feeling. It made everything a little better.
"What is this?" Hanamaki asked, tone neutral, not moving to grow the distance nor lessen it.
"Affection." Matsukawa quietly mused.
"Disgusting." Hanamaki answered and Matsukawa halted in his actions. The moment stretched on.
"Do it again." Hanamaki gave a sly grin and slid closer, giving even better access to his exposed neck while lifting his arms to reciprocate the feeling of wanting to touch the other.
Matsukawa let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been keeping, and hugged the other tightly. He started trailing kisses all over his neck. Once. Twice. Three times and more.
Hanamaki squirmed under the attention, the kisses were feather-light, brush of lips on his skin, which raised his expectations and quickly the affectionate but innocent kisses weren't enough.
"Ngh... Issei?"
Another kiss, this time right by his collarbone. And another, slightly higher. "Mhm?"
"Are you- Can I-? Umm..."
Matsukawa left one more kiss on Hanamaki's neck, and nuzzled the spot. Sighing into the crook of Hanamaki's neck, he eventually distanced himself enough to be able to look the man into his eyes.
"Yeah?"
"Is it okay if- Umm... I just want to make sure that I don't do anything wrong. So umm... Do you want to talk? Or just cuddle or...? I mean, I want to help. What can I do?"
Matsukawa followed, mesmerized, as a dust of pink appeared on Hanamaki's cheeks as he babbled nervously. He found it utterly adorable, how the normally obnoxious man could also be like this; blushing and nervous, worried but wanting to help. It saved him seeing the other like this.
"Hiro. Just... Be with me?"
Hanamaki beamed at this. "Cuddles it is then!"
He proceeded to push Matsukawa's hands away and climb on top of him on the couch. He snuggled down on Matsukawa's chest, lacing his legs between the other's. When his relocationing was over he looked back down into Matsukawa's eyes and gave him another grin and a kiss to his jawline.
Matsukawa tied his hands around Hanamaki's waist, pulling him gently closer, to properly ground him on top of him. "Yeah, cuddles sound pretty good." Matsukawa swallowed hard at this, fighting to keep the tears at bay.
"Great. We can do kisses too." Hanamaki announced, laying his head on Matsukawa's firm chest, trailing the edges of the Vans logo on his boyfriend's shirt.
"Oh? We can? How nice." Matsukawa let out a faint snicker, voice breathy from holding back tears.
"But not too much. Too much is a problem." Hanamaki quickly clarified, lifting his head back up. "A few is okay."
Matsukawa let out another snicker. "Only a few? Why is that?" He leaned down to place a kiss on Hanamaki's cheek. "How many is a too many?" He gave another kiss, this one closer to the jawline. And then another. "Three? Four?" This time he kissed closer to Hanamaki's ear. "Five?" Another kiss a little bit higher. "Maybe six?" This time he kissed the man behind his ear, and Hanamaki couldn't help squirming under the attention.
"... Ah, so that's why" Matsukawa smirked, when he felt the telltale hardness against his thigh. He slid his left hand from the small of Hanamaki's back to between both them, intentions clear.
"I said too much was a problem!" Hanamaki let his face fall to Matsukawa's chest, burying the blush on his cheeks there.
"I wouldn't call this a problem." Matsukawa palmed the growing hardness, kissing the top of Hanamaki's head.
"Issei. No. We cuddle. No sex." Hanamaki picked up his face again, determined. "Why do have such an incredulous look on your face?" He continued, after seeing his boyfriend's reaction. "You look like I told you I fucked your grandma."
"Uhn? Well, the level of surprise would be the same. Though, are you sure?"
"Yes. You're not in the mood, so we won't."
Matsukawa glanced downwards, disbelief still decorating his face. "I literally have my hand on your dick."
Hanamaki flicked Matsukawa's forehead. "But you still don't want to. You don't have to accomodate me, stupid. Let's just cuddle and laze around and hate the world together, okay?"
Matsukawa let his hand slip away, surprising himself how relieved he actually was. He loved his boyfriend. He loved having sex with him. He had no aversion to the act, on the contrary. But, tonight, as Hanamaki had noticed, he wasn't in the mood for it. He thought he had been. He figured affection, touch, skin to skin contact, would help the miserable feeling he had, but it wouldn't. Not this time.
Hanamaki snaked his arms around Matsukawa's waist and nuzzled his face to Matsukawa's middle-section. The couch was unfortunately too tiny for proper cuddling, but he made do. Hugs were important. Hugs would be what he would want. He tried his best to offer comfort in it's most innocent form, with touch, skin to skin contact. It was what he had learnt to be comforting, so it was what he tried to offer.
"This okay? I can change to cuddle you, if you want?" Hanamaki asked, face smushed.
"No, this is perfect. I like it this way."
Matsukawa combed his fingers through Hanamaki's pink hair, taking his time with each stroke. He felt Hanamaki's breaths against his skin, grounding him. The man was calm, fully relaxed in his embrace, and that did wonders to Matsukawa's psyche at the very moment.
"Thanks, babe." Matsukawa whispered.
"Anything for my love." Hanamaki sighed, barely half-conscious, steady and even breathing a reliable indicator that the man was pretty much asleep.
"... I love you too. So much." Matsukawa managed to whisper, and no one needed to know about the tear that managed to slip at the heartfelt confession.