Work Text:
Ronan Lynch never used his phone. Some days it drove Adam to the edge of sanity, days when all he wanted was to hear Ronan’s voice ramble on about his day but instead he was left with the robotic voice of an answer phone because Ronan had left his phone in a barn somewhere and wouldn’t bother to look for it until it’s alarm failed to wake him up the next morning.
Ronan Lynch never used his phone which was Adam’s first indicator that something was wrong.
***
Adam had just got back from his morning class when his phone started to ring, it was an old brick of a phone, but Adam refused to spend any more on it. It was probably Gansey, they hadn’t spoken in a while even though he tried to give Adam weekly updates on his, Blue and Cheng’s travels.
He checked the caller ID before answering, it was Ronan.
“Hey babe, I was actually just about to call you, good news I-” Adam paused at the sound of a tinny sniffle, “Ronan? Are you okay?”
“Adam,” Ronan’s voice was hoarse, it sounded like he’d been crying.
“Ro? Baby what’s up?”
“It-it’s Roisin.” Adam’s heart sunk; Roisin was one of the first calves born on the farm. Adam remembered Ronan telling him about how her mother never took to her and Ronan had reared her by hand, and she clung to him at every opportunity. Her mother had been dreamt and Ronan didn’t really know what affect that had on Roisin, but she didn’t fall asleep after Niall’s death.
“What happened?” Adam pressed.
Ronan sniffed again, “She- she was pregnant,” Ronan had told him this, she’d never calved before and Ronan hadn’t meant for her to get pregnant, “Something went wrong, she was in pain so I-I- called the vet. They said they were gonna have to get the calf out or it wouldn’t survive, they… they said Roisin would be okay and that it was a standard procedure.” Ronan paused and Adam felt dread settle like boulders in the bottom of his stomach. “It was more complicated than we thought…, we managed to save the calf, but…, Oh god, Adam she’s gone.” Ronan’s voice cracked and all Adam could hear were Ronan’s harsh gasps.
“Shit.” Adam muttered as he squeezed his eyes shut to try and stop the burning. “Shit, Shit!”
“I don’t know what to do, Adam. The calf she’s so small and sickly. I don’t… don’t know if she’s gonna make it, and we’ll have lost Roisin for nothing.” Ronan sobbed. “I can't- I can't… Adam, I…”
“Ro. Honey, breathe. Okay just take deep breaths and try to calm down.” Adam could hear Ronan’s short gasping breath through the phone, he was nearing hysterics and Adam didn’t know how to deal with that. He was shit at giving sympathy in real life it was even worse over the phone when he couldn’t even hold him. As Ronan’s breathing began to slowly even out Adam spoke again. “I’m coming home, okay? You don’t need to try and persuade me otherwise I was planning on coming anyway, my only class tomorrow is cancelled. Tell me you want me there and I'll be there.”
“Of course, I want you here, I always want you hear but your exams aren’t that far away, and I know how much this all mean to you. I don’t want you to throw it all away just because things got a bit shitty over here.”
“Babe I wasn’t lying when I said I was planning on coming anyway. One weekend at the barns isn't gonna ruin everything and I can always lock myself in the office if I need to.”
“I- okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah okay. I'll see you later then?”
“Yeah. Tamquam…”
“…Alter idem.”
***
Adam hadn’t really been paying attention to anything happening in the lecture, he’d been making notes through muscle memory and could only hope that they were good enough to study off. He should’ve been paying attention but he couldn’t, not while he knew that Ronan was mourning by himself, not while he was making a list in his head of what he needed to pack, how much he could fit into the trunk of the shitbox, what he’d be able to leave behind, not while he was planning the route home in his head, trying to work out how many times he’d have to stop on the way and how much the rush hour traffic would slow him down. All he could think about was Ronan, Ronan, Ronan, Home, Home, Home.
Adam sped back to his dorm as soon as the lecture was over, grabbing bag from under his bed and shoving clothes, books and other random things that he might need, before rushing to the hondoyota.
Adam had never really been the religious type, but he prayed as slid the key in the ignition, if there was one time when the shitbox had to work it was now. Ronan needed him and not even his crappy car was gonna stop Adam from getting there. Nothing could ever stop Adam from going home.
***
Eight hours, and more coffee than was safe to consume, later Adam finally pulled into the driveway of the barns. The lights in the farmhouse were all off and for a moment Adam hoped Ronan might’ve managed to get some form of sleep until he noticed the flicker of light from the smaller cow barn.
He pulled himself out of the car, grimacing at the pain caused by driving eight hours straight and the gust of ice-cold wind that hit him when he opened the door.
He trudged over to the barn, every step made him feel warmer and lighter. He was home and felt calm and whole in a way he hadn’t felt since he pulled out of the driveway. A piece of his heart was here, not just with Ronan but with the barns, it was home almost as much as it was Ronan’s.
As he neared the barn, he heard Ronan’s rich voice humming what sounded like a lullaby. Ronan was sat by one of the storage heaters, with the smallest calf Adam had ever seen resting in his lap. It’s eyes still weren’t open, and it was gasping so loudly Adam could hear it over Ronan’s humming.
As his lullaby came to an end Ronan looked up at Adam, His face and eyes were glistening with tears, but he was smiling a small, melancholy smile. “Adam, meet Aurora”
“She’s beautiful” It was true, her fur looked like it was made of pure god, it shimmered in the light of the heater, her ears and tail were covered in black fur that was already curly even as short as it was.
As he sat down next to Ronan, the tiny calf wriggled until she was fully lying in Ronan laps with her head on Adam’s thigh. She nudged her head into Adam’s stomach until he got the message and started scratching behind her ear.
Ronan snorted, “A day old and she’s already needy as fuck.”
“Just like you then,” Adam quipped as Ronan shot him a half-hearted glare.
“It’s gonna be okay. Right?” Ronan asked, giving Adam a glimpse at the sea of insecurities he usually kept hidden away.
Aurora started wriggling again before Adam could answer, rolling more onto her side and burrowing further into Adam’s side. She huffed loudly and, for the first time, opened her eyes.
Adam and Ronan gasped in unison as a pair of Lynch-blue eyes stared back at them.
“Yeah,” Adam said, looking at Ronan, who’s eyes were rimmed with tears that hadn’t yet fallen. “I think it’s gonna okay.”