Work Text:
12 July 1419 (in the Shire reckoning)
Minas Tirith
But the Queen Arwen said: 'A gift I will give you. For I am the daughter of Elrond. I shall not go with him now when he departs to the Havens; for mine is the choice of Luthien, and as she so have I chosen, both the sweet and the bitter. But in my stead you shall go, Ring-bearer, when the time comes, and if you then desire it.' Return of the King p252
Frodo stared at the pendant in his hand. His mind reeled, slipped, darkened. With an effort he focused his eyes on the Gift that had just been inflicted upon him.
A choice.
He had perceived only two choices for himself: to succumb to the Darkness, or to accept that he must fight the Darkness to live and love in Middle Earth.
Now there were three.
His eyes came up to meet those of Arwen, daughter of Elrond, Queen of Gondor. He remembered what Sam had said once about Galadriel: 'You could dash yourself to pieces on her, like a ship on a rock.' Arwen was a worthy granddaughter of the Lady of Lothlorien.
"The Choice of Luthien has been a source of great grief for the Children of Iluvatar," said Frodo very quietly. "And your Choice is causing great grief to the Eldar."
Arwen's eyes were cool and remote as a mountain lake, but Frodo's smouldered.
"And now you would burden me with the same Choice, Lady?"
Arwen's voice was calm. "Cormacolindo. Ringbearer. You of all people understand that there is no Choice without pain, and no Gift without cost."
"I understand that indeed," murmured Frodo. "So -- you offer me the Gift of Peace. Of Lostaren. Do you know, Lady, whence I have been offered that Gift before?"
Arwen's glacial tranquility was unperturbed. "At the Cracks of Doom, the Ring promised you *Lostaren:* forgetfulness. But you cannot equate my Gift with that promise. The promise made by the One Ring was vain -- it promised a peace that it would never deliver. My Gift does not make the same promise. Lostaren -- forgetfulness -- is not the Gift of the Blessed Realm. There, however, you may find Peace."
"Peace," said Frodo, "without Sam."
"I do not know that, Cormacolindo. Sam also was a Ringbearer, if only for a brief time. He may choose Valinor."
"No," said Frodo. "No. Sam is alive, he cannot yet leave Middle Earth. He is meant to be one and whole for many years. No, if I make the choice for Valinor, it will be choosing to leave Sam." His eyes burned up at Arwen. "That is not the choice you made, Lady. You chose to forgo Valinor and stay with your love."
"That is my Choice," said Arwen, "as it was the Choice of Luthien."
Frodo's eyes never wavered from hers, though tears had begun to trickle down his cheeks. "And must the most terrible Choices ever be my fate?" he whispered.
There was no answer.
the end
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
if i could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a wayNine Inch Nails Hurt