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Nicodranas was known to many as one of the most beautiful places on the Menagerie Coast, and none could bring themselves to dislike it once they’d had a chance to traverse its winding cobbled streets. It boasted a comfortable hearth away from the tempestuous waters, promised warm delights and cheerful music to while away the time at port that always had even the saltiest sea dog returning with gleeful anticipation. At night, however, it was even better.
Jester knew this, she’d spent the majority of her life within its walls until quite recently after all, but after finding herself so far removed from everything she was used to, she felt a new kind of appreciation for it.
Eyes closed, she sank her toes into the oddly still warm sand and breathed in the sea air, trying to ignore the gentle sound of music still drifting along the coast and instead attempting to focus upon the softly lapping waters. She wiggled her toes, concentrating on the sensation of every minuscule grain of sand sift against her skin as the wind, cooler than it had been on Rumblecusp, tossed her hair across her face, tickling her nose. Slowly, she opened her eyes and felt them pull upward to the tiny slither of the moon.
She puffed out her cheeks, poked her tongue between her lips and “PPPPPBBBBBBBBTTTTHHHHH!”
Feeling only slightly better, Jester continued her trudge across the sand, leaving her boots and stockings where she’d placed them. She was grateful her friends were all such heavy sleepers that none would notice her stealing away in the middle of the night. She’d needed this time alone, her days leading up to this point filled with expectant eyes and excited smiles, and she’d met it, she had, but there was a limit on how much she could take before needing a recharge. The sea air sent her every fibre abuzz with some nameless energy, and she gave a sudden shout of laughter, an excited giggle, before throwing herself forward into a dead run, her feet sinking into the sand with every step, dampening her stride but she found she couldn’t care less.
Still laughing, she flung her body into a cartwheel which, halfway to throwing her hands flat on the sand, she realised she hadn’t done since she was about six, and honestly couldn’t quite remember how to land it.
She tumbled onto the damp beach with a thud, laughter still ringing in the air as she rolled onto her back, eyes bright and wide, taking in the hundreds upon thousands of tiny pinprick diamonds in the endless indigo of night. It felt strange that only yesterday they were still on the island, and if she concentrated and imagined, it was like nothing had changed at all.
But it had. In a round about way, they’d done what they’d set out to do, the Traveler had shed his followers, his godly chains, so he could be free, but she’d very nearly lost him in the process.
She’d nearly...
Nope! Not thinking of that! She shook her head and closed her eyes, breathing in through her nose and letting it rush out of her mouth in a sigh, before she peered through her lashes and up at the blanket of stars once more.
“Room for one more?”
Usually, upon hearing another voice in the middle of the night, on a secluded beach, with nothing to defend herself except her wits, Jester would instantly be shifting through her internal spell list to pick out an ability that would certainly dissuade any funny business. However, this other voice accomplished the exact opposite to what was supposed to happen. She went entirely blank.
Now, it wasn’t a strange voice, or even an unwelcome one. The familiarity of it usually comforted her, made her smile and encouraged her in a way she wasn’t wholly used to, but this time felt different for some reason. The voice caused her heart to race, her face to warm...
It belonged to Fjord.
Unbidden, her treacherous mind reminded her, in the snidest of ways, that the last time she had been close to Fjord, he was holding her as he brought the others in to comfort her, and the time before THAT, he was clinging onto her, begging her to let go... that he was there... that she would be caught. It all reminded her of the way she used to pursue him, the way she decided to give him space, the way she realised that this whole time, strange new feelings had been blossoming within her, ones without a name but with a strength that was starting to scare her a little.
He was standing only a few feet away, his face taking on a slight confused expression which looked a little peculiar on his handsome face, and for a moment, mostly because her brain still hadn’t found the correct gear, Jester couldn’t figure out why.
It was only a heartbeat or so later that she realised that she was viewing him upside-down.
Blushing, she sat up.
“S-sure!”
Why the hell were her cheeks on fire?! Why was she stuttering like an idiot? It was just Fjord.
Just Fjord?
No such thing.
His confusion faded a little, just enough to smooth the crease between his brows, and he moved forward to place himself down on the sand next to her. He was wearing soft black breeches, pushed into his usual brown leather knee-high boots, and a loose white shirt, unbuttoned at the collar, which shifted a little in the wind, revealing the remaining scar from... that night... the night he’d died.
“How’d you know I was out here?” She asked as he settled himself. He smelled like he always did, of sweat, leather and something faintly oceanic, like brine but... more pleasant, less... rough. She almost tried to lean toward the scent, but her sense caught her and instead, in an effort to distract herself, she dug her heels into the sand.
“I saw you leave.” He leaned back on his palms, gazing up into the sky. “I couldn’t sleep so I was out on the balcony... Caduceus’s snoring is... ah, it’s something else.”
“He could wake the dead,” she responded with a grin. His chuckle was deep, and Jester felt warmth spread through her chest.
“He did...” there was a strange darkness in his gaze as he spoke, eyes not shifting from the stars above them, but shadowed by something unresolved. His voice was pitched low, almost lost to the gentle lapping waves in its quietness.
A little hesitant at the sudden seriousness, Jester tried to smile, her voice taking on that lifting tone that wasn’t quite false, but dancing upon the border, hoping to bring some cheer to him, “not quite with his snoring though.”
His face split once more in a grin, and his shoulders relaxed. “Wouldn’t that be a skill?”
“Not if you were a gravedigger!”
Fjord suddenly laughed. “Imagine falling asleep on the job and being woken up by a zombie army!”
They looked at each other and let out mocking screams, before bursting into laughter. It didn’t last long, not really, and faded into silence as they both arrived back at the truth of what had been keeping them both up at night.
Jester couldn’t stand it. With Fjord sitting there next to her, she felt all too keenly the turbulent emotions crashing against her weakly constructed walls, begging to be set free. He told her she could talk to him, that he’d listen to her worries. Sure it was about Artagan that he was speaking of, but maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to soothe these thoughts before they multiplied, grew into something she couldn’t contain and rang out in a huge, crescendo in a way she couldn’t control.
“Still,” she spoke up after a moment, toying with the fabric of her sleeve with her trembling fingers, still hesitating a little. “I’m glad you’re still here. I was... scared, when you died, y’know? I guess... I’m still scared? That you’ll go away soon... or, or that I will? Because I nearly did, y’know? And, and, and I don’t want that to happen, y’know?” And just like that, the dam was broken and her words, everything she had been thinking since that night on Rumblecusp came tumbling out of her like an unstoppable wave, a torrent of honesty and worry which had no recognisable end. “I could have lost you, and, then I could’ve lost you again, and Beau, Caleb, Veth, Caduceus, Yasha and, and, and... y’know?! I could’ve lost everyone! I could have lost Artie, Fjord! And I don’t... I don’t know how to keep it from happening again!”
For the second time in as many days, she felt Fjord’s arm come around her shoulders and pull her into him, but this time, there was no one else to answer his call and it was just his arms, just his breath tickling the pointed tip of her ear, just him .
He held her silently for a long while, as her slightly panicked breathing slowed and her tears drifted silently down her flushed cheeks, her weeping coming to a natural end.
It was only after she’d managed to calm herself down that her heart realised, really truly noticed, that Fjord was holding her. It was not as part of a rescue, or a group hug, but as a comforting embrace, with one hand settled on her back while the other had drifted into her hair, holding her head gently against the hard panes of his chest, his chin resting upon her hair. His scent was everywhere and, despite herself, Jester closed her eyes and nuzzled closer into it, no longer caring about the consequences.
She wanted to be close to him. That’s all it boiled down to, that’s what those strong unknown feelings were telling her to do, and in that silent moment of weakness, her will broke and she gave in to it.
She didn’t expect his arms to tighten around her, for him to shift his position to press his lips to her hair, his heart rate spiking under her ear. He pulled her head carefully from his chest, but only to then gently kiss her forehead.
“I’m here,” he whispered against her skin.
“Fjord.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
She opened her eyes, but kept her gaze low, staring at the opening of his shirt, and his green scarred skin beneath. They’d torn his life away, and nothing the Nein did could stop them, and it was only Caleb’s quick thinking that kept them from stealing his body too...
“You don’t know that,” she said, quietly. “I nearly lost you before.”
“Jester,” his voice was calm, but serious. “Look at me.”
She did, raising her eyes to peer up at his golden irises, split by the dark slit of a pupil. His gaze was a conflicted collection of emotions, all warring for a moment in the forefront: fear, concern, and the constant unnamed light that Jester had never been able to decode. His hand drifted from where it rested at the base of her skull to cup her cheek, thumb gently stroking the still wet tear tracks on her face.
“I’m here,” he whispered. “We all are, and maybe in the future we won’t be but... all of us will fight tooth and nail to ensure that doesn’t happen so it won’t be by choice. And if you go away? Jester, I will follow you wherever you need me to be, no matter the circumstance. When you were nearly taken with Artagan, it was as if everything I’d been worrying about on that island had started to come true and all I could think of was just... not... letting you go.”
That pesky unknown feeling blossomed in her chest at his voice, but this time, it came with words, words that weren’t supposed to circumvent her filter and spring forth from her lips, but did so anyway. As soon as they left her tongue, she saw his eyes widen in shock. “I love you, Fjord.”
Silence followed her blurted admission, broken only by the soft sound of waves lapping against the beach, and they both simply stared at each other only a few inches apart.
Oh, oh no!
No, this was... this was bad.
It wasn’t the same as telling him he was handsome, or as any of her earlier flirtations... this was an actual declaration of love and as she read his expression, she could see he knew it. Desperate, she briefly considered casting modify memory, but the silence stretched further between them and she was left terrified that she’d just unintentionally destroyed their entire friendship with her verbal diarrhoea and guilty that she entertained the idea of messing with his mind for even a second. As he opened his mouth to speak, her bravery all but vanished in an instant and she leapt to her feet, choosing instead to flee the situation rather than sit and wait for his rejection.
“Jester!” She heard his strangled yelp even as he scrambled up to pursue her. “Jester, wait!”
“I’m sorry, Fjord!” Still, she refused to slow, almost running to where she’d left her boots and stockings. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. What a mess.
Before she could reach them, however, she felt his hand clasp around her arm, not hard or rough, but insistent and she froze, unable to move, unable to breathe and unable to keep herself from trembling, her body entirely betraying her.
“Did you mean it?” Fjord asked, quietly. Like his grip, his voice was desperate and strangely ardent, like he was trying to measure his tone and totally failing.
As his hand dropped, releasing her, Jester let out a sigh and turned back to him, resigned, eyes afraid but unwavering as she looked up at him, though not understanding his facial expression.
It looked strangely like... hope.
“Yeah,” she said eventually. “I meant it.”
Something new crossed his features then, however, before she could even interpret it, his hands quickly, but incredibly gently, cupped her face, tilted it upward and he pressed his lips to hers. Her body reacted before she did. Her eyes fluttered closed as her hands reached up to grasp the white linen of his shirt, pulling as if to reach his lips better, rising on her tiptoes. She could feel his tusks against her lip, finally grown in, the coarse lines on his calloused hands, toughened by time at sea, and his racing heart under her fingertips, mirroring her swift staccato perfectly. Her lips parted under his automatically while his right hand slipped into her thick hair, thumb tickling the tip of her pointed ear which made her shiver in the most delicious way, suddenly yearning to explore of these exquisite trembles. His tongue met hers tentatively, tasting her, before with a sigh that almost sounded regretful, he drew away, but only to press his forehead against hers, not shifting his hands, keeping her close.
“I love you, Jester,” he whispered. Jester couldn’t hear the ocean anymore, she couldn’t feel the warm sand between her toes or the cool breeze tousling her hair and she could no longer smell the brine in the air. The whole world outside of her and Fjord had dimmed, focusing entirely upon him and the words he had just uttered. Slowly, she opened her eyes and found his gaze already centred upon her, filled with hope, happiness and, finally identified, love.
“We should probably head inside,” he whispered, a little smile playing upon his lips. “Though I’m really struggling to think of reasons why.”
“Becauuuuse, if Beau catches us both out of our beds, we’d never hear the end of it?”
“That... is actually a very good point. Let’s go to bed - I mean! Err! Separate! Separate beds!” Fjord flushed a magnificent crimson as he stepped back from Jester, his eyes wide and panicked.
Despite herself, Jester laughed and then hooked her arm in Fjord’s as they made their way back to the Lavish Chateau, only pausing to bend and scoop up her discarded boots and stockings.