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“Love poetry!” Keating exclaimed once all of the boys had taken their seats, eliciting a groan from half the class. He raised his voice and continued, “Yes I know, ‘love poetry is for girls’. Except it’s not!”
Todd felt his face go flush. It was hard enough to get as excited as Keating about poetry. Well, about anything really. That man was one part inspiration, two parts passion. But the second his teacher mentioned love poetry and started talking with his hands for emphasis, Todd knew what that week’s assignment would be.
Without thinking twice about it, Todd turned over his shoulder to look back at Neil. His roommate and best friend was already glancing over in his direction through his messy, dark bangs, giving an awkward smile. Todd hoped his face didn’t get any redder as he turned back to face the front of the room.
“Love is a major theme in poetry!” Keating leaned back on the front of his desk, and then hopped up and took a seat. “Loving another person is one of the most beautiful experiences in this world! But it’s not just another person - you can love a place, an animal, a hobby.”
“What do you love Mr. Keating?” Dalton piped up from the back of the room. A few of the boys in the room chuckled at his question, but the look on his face implied that he was genuinely curious.
Keating scanned the room and locked his eyes with Dalton. “I love teaching.” A collected “aww” rose and faded, and Keating let out a single laugh. “Ha! I’m glad you asked me that question, Mr. Dalton, because you’ll have to turn inward and ask yourself the very same. For next week, I want you all to write a love poem.” He relished the chorus of groans from his class and then glanced over at Todd. “No presentations this time - I’m the only one who will be reading your writing. The key to this writing assignment is to be open and honest.”
Open and honest were two things Todd was often not. He was not looking forward to getting this assignment done.
***
Todd sat on his bed cross-legged, leaning back against the wall, staring at a blank notebook resting on his knees. How was he going to write about something he loved? He didn’t even know what that was. The door opened and his eyes darted over to see Neil.
“Hey, sorry I’m late - was in the library,” Neil greeted happily, taking off his uniform jacket and laying it on his desk. “Whatcha writing - Keating’s assignment?”
“Mhm,” Todd said quietly, then corrected himself. “Trying.”
Neil picked up a notebook and pen from his desk and hopped onto Todd’s bed to sit next to him. “It can’t be that hard.”
“It feels hard.”
“What’s wrong?”
Todd scratched a spot behind his ear and tilted his head to look Neil in the eye for the first time that evening. “I don’t know what to write about.”
“I don’t either!” Neil laughed. “I’m just going to imagine what it would be like to love someone and write about her.”
“Keating will be able to tell.”
“No he won’t!” Todd couldn’t help but be jealous of Neil’s inability to be brought down. Always confident, always optimistic.
“Sure he will!” Todd said with a chuckle.
“He won’t!” Neil joined in his laughter and bumped Todd’s knee with his own, causing them both to beam a little wider than before. “I’ll be really convincing.”
“Like what?”
Neil paused for a moment, tapped the end of his pen to his paper, and then started to scribble some notes. “Well what do you look for in someone?”
“A partner,” Todd said without hesitation. “Someone who gets me and supports me. And who I can do the same for.”
Neil started scribbling faster. “Good! Keep going - what else?”
Todd noticed Neil hadn’t moved away yet and they were still sitting knee to knee on his bed. His heart started pounding, but he focused on the task at hand. “Someone who makes me feel… important… special.”
Neil sensed a tenderness in Todd as he spoke, and his voice fell. “Yeah, yeah that’s good.”
Both boys kept their eyes on Neil’s paper as he wrote: Partner, important, special.
“And,” Todd piped up. “Someone who makes my heart beat faster just by being around.”
Neil glanced up only for a second, hoping that Todd wouldn’t catch him peeking. Todd’s cheeks were flush red. He refused to look away from the tip of Neil’s pen, but his eyes were soft, not focused or determined - just, calm. Neil looked back at his notebook, then back at Todd, this time with more confidence. “It sounds like you’ve got someone in mind?”
“I… no, not really. Just…”
“Just imagining?”
“Yeah.” Todd pushed his wispy hair out of his eyes and raised them to meet Neil’s. “I know you said you didn’t have someone, but… Have you loved a girl before?”
Neil smirked at his page and shook his head. “No. I don’t think I’ve felt that way about a girl before.”
“Me neither.”
“But you know what you want from one?”
“I mean, I guess I just know what I’d want from someone I spend all my time with.”
His words hung in the air between them like a cloud of tension. Neither of them wanted to be the first to speak, but finally Neil joked, “You spend all your time with me?”
Todd chuckled and couldn’t hold back a smile. “I mean… Yeah.”
Neil reached out and put his hand on Todd’s knee, and they both sat up straight and looked each other in the eye as though his hand had electroshocked them. “I get it. It’s like, being friends with you has taught me what I want from another person.”
“Exactly.”
They both looked down at Neil’s hand on Todd’s leg and smirked. “Sorry,” Neil said, starting to pull back. “Is this weird?”
Todd jerked forward and shuffled a tiny bit closer to Neil. “No! No, it’s… It’s fine.”
“Okay.” Neil smiled and tightened his grip on Todd’s knee as he tapped his pen on the page with his other hand. “What else?”
Todd’s head was spinning like he was on a carnival ride. He feared if he opened his mouth, he would just throw up right there, but instead what came out was words. No filter - only the truth. “Just knowing that person is alive makes life worth living. Like no matter how hard things get, at least that one person is around.”
The scribbling stopped abruptly and Neil turned to face Todd. “Is that what love is?”
“I don’t know. I think so. I mean, to me it is.”
Neil bit the inside of his cheek and then said, “Oh.”
“Why?”
“Nothing… I just… Maybe I have felt this before.”
“Oh?”
Neil inched closer to Todd until their sides were touching. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah! I uh, yeah. Yes.” As the two boys leaned towards each other, it was Todd who let his forehead rest against Neil’s. “Do you… do you think we have something special?” he asked in a whisper.
“Yeah, I do,” said Neil in a volume matching Todd’s.
“Do you think it’s love?”
“I don’t know,” Neil replied earnestly. “But… I’d be okay finding out.”
Neil’s words sent Todd’s heart jumping into his throat. “Really?”
“Of course,” Neil cooed. “Why not?”
Todd barely started to beam when Neil closed the gap between them and placed his lips on Todd’s. Neil cupped Todd’s face in his hand as Todd wrapped both arms around his roommate. Neil smiled into the kiss and he could feel Todd returning the favour. When they pulled apart, both boys were grinning sheepishly.
“Not bad,” reviewed Neil with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
Todd laughed. “Shut up.” He shimmied back to his side of the bed, grabbed his notebook, and started to write furiously.
“What are you writing?”
Todd returned Neil’s coy look. “Let’s just say I’ve been inspired.”
***
“I’m coming around to collect your writing assignments!” Keating announced, making his rounds of the classroom. Everyone reached into their bags and placed their poems on their desks. “How did you all find this one? Writing love poems - did you discover who you are, your passions in life?”
Todd swiveled in his seat and looked at Neil, who was already smiling at him - their connection was small but unmistakable. Mr. Keating noticed the subtle exchange from across his classroom and smirked to himself, knowing that at least one lesson had been learned this week.