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In a dark room, the TV flitters to life. On screen is a typically talk show set up with two grey chairs facing each other against a more mute background of reds and grey with impressions of flowers overtop the grey colouring. In the right seat is the host. A no name man with very little personality other than the faked cheer that could only be more fake if he’d had his face surgically fixed into a smile.
No one’s watching for the host though. In fact, the only reason for the high viewership count on this particular episode is the guest.
Seated opposite to the host is a short statured (compared to the host) man who holds himself with confidence. That confidence is only boosted by the exotic features he sports with ocean blue eyes and fire red hair along with the tailor fitted suit resting just right over his frame.
A text bubble on the lower left declares him to be Nakahara Chuuya.
Not that anyone watching could not instantly recognise the CEO of the Hadori Branch a subsidiary of the Mori Corporation. The Hadori Branch has been steadily rising in value since Nakahara took over 4 years ago as a prodigy at 18. Due to his incredible ability, charisma, and good looks, he’s regarded similarly to celebrities.
Even now, Nakahara Chuuya is reclined naturally in the flimsy chair, legs and arms casually crossed. His face is serene, and he nods along to the babble of the host.
After exchanging fairly lengthy pleasantries, the host immediately jumps into Nakahara’s position and his duties as CEO. For his part, Nakahara does a good job at explaining what he can and evading the more confidential topics. Even during the drier parts of the conversation, Nakahara still manages to keep the audience amused with his wit and charisma.
But then, the host asks some mundane question. Really not important. But to answer, Nakahara removes his hands from their crossed position and pulls off the glove on his left hand. As he waves the hand around, something glitters from around his ring finger.
It’s a ring.
So, instead of asking the next scripted question, the host points to the ring as he asks, “I know this is an unorthodox question, but are you married Nakahara-san?”
And this is a new revelation. Nakahara is very quiet about his personal life. In fact, outside of his appearances on talk shows like these and his photo in newspapers and magazines, almost nothing is known about the man.
But he shows no qualms about sharing about his personal life as he glances at his ring before displaying it to the camera. It’s a simple silver band. While polished and obviously well cared for, it was undeniably a cheap ring.
However, Nakahara answers like he’s sporting a 15 carat diamond ring, “I am.”
“I, uh, can’t help but notice its simple nature.” The host trails off, no doubt realising how rude his comment is.
Nakahara just laughs. “You’re not wrong. Unfortunately my husband’s a penny pincher of sorts.”
“But he still used his own money to buy your ring!” The host declares, trying for some reason to look on the brightside, “How amazing of him.”
“Hardly,” Nakahara’s laughter intensified for a moment before descending to an angry cackle, “He used my money to buy them. While he’s obsessed with not spending a dime of his own, he has no problem spending other people’s money. I’m almost certain he married me so he could access my bank accounts.”
The hosts mostly horrified expression says all there is to say about Nakahara’s statement. However, he still tries to rectify the conversation, “You must really love him then, to marry him.”
“Ah,” Nakahara’s face begins to turn a slight red as he answers, his voice barely containing his anger, “He scammed me into marrying him.”
“Well, you must at least like him to not have divorced him,” The host is really stretching for something to say at this point.
Unfortunately his words are the last straw as Nakahara’s anger truly snaps and he begins to rant. “Dazai, that damn mackerel is a cheapskate who loves to extort others into paying for him. He’s a lazy ass who loves to manipulate me into doing his bidding, and if I’d take every opportunity to kick his ass! Just the other day he called me to tell me he’d die in 10 minutes if I didn’t show up and then he’d tell the world I murdered him. So I had to rush to his office, only for him to shove all his paper work on me! We don’t even work in the same company! Or even do the same type of work!”
“And, uh, what exactly does your husband do?” The host seems to have given in to the inevitable and resigns himself to Nakahara’s tangent.
“A detective, if you couldn’t say that with how little work he does,” Nakahara scoffs. “I’m surprised he hasn’t been fired yet with all the goofing off he does. Sometimes he skips off work just to bug me. One time, I’d just returned for a business meeting to find him messing around in my office. He’d only shown up to harass me and run away from work!”
“And that’s all the time we have for today,” The host cuts Nakahara off with the end of the story. He almost seems relieved that their time is over. “Thank you for joining us today, Nakahara-san.”
Nakahara blinks as if he’s remembering where he is. But he quickly regains control and inclines his head as he returns the pleasantries.
With that Nakahara stands up and walks off the set as the host rambles on about their next guest, some other economic person of power. However, the moment that Nakahara is no longer in the shot, the video ends. It’s a recording.
The television is shut off to the cackling of a mad man.
“Shut up!” Chuuya kicks the still laughing Dazai who at this point is practically choking on laughter. He then proceeds to dig himself deeper into the couch as he tries not to think about the disastrous interview. Mori and Kouyou had been enraged after the recording. Luckily, Dazai seems to be more amused than hurt. “Why are we even watching this?”
“Why, Chuuya!” Dazai chortles as he hugs wobbles to his feet to retrieve the USB that holds the recording of the interview, “How could I possibly not want to watch this amazing declaration of your love for me on national television.”
“Declaration of love? I just insulted you multiple times during a live presentation!” Chuuya shouts before he mumbles, embarrassed, “They only agreed to the live showing because they trusted me not to pull shit like this.”
“And I benefited greatly from it,” Dazai crones. He brandishes the USB and swings in gently in Chuuya’s face, “I got this amazing recording of you talking all about me in professional quality. It’s so much better than the one recorded on my phone. Aaaah! I wonder if next time I can get Chuuya drunk so he’ll say nice things about me.”
“I should have known that’s why you liked it,” Chuuya snarls as he kicks himself to his feet and snatches the USB from Dazai’s hands. In seconds, the USB is crushed to dust.
Dazai glances to his hands then at the dust pooling around Chuuya’s feet. “It’s a good thing I have a copy saved in the cloud, huh?”
“You what!” Chuuya screeches.
“Why is Chuuya so mad?” Dazai asks with a huff as he sits down on the couch, near where Chuuya’s standing.
Chuuya mumbles something as he lets the anger fizz away from his muscles and he collapses beside Dazai.
“Sorry? What was that? Even chibis need to enunciate their words.” Dazai mockingly calls out.
Chuuya headbutts Dazai, but it turns into a collapse as Chuuya sinks into Dazai’s embrace. Burying his head in Dazai’s side, Chuuya mutters just loud enough for his audience to hear, “I don’t want to share you with the world.”
“Oh really?” Dazai couldn’t help but tease, “I didn’t know someone so small could be so possessive, but I guess Chuuya’s just recessing to the selfishness of his height.”
“Did you just call me a kid!” Chuuya couldn’t help the incredulous tone. “That makes you the creep in our relationship. Should I start calling you a pedo?”
“Fine, fine,” Dazai waves a hand back and forth as he changes his words, “Chuuya’s possessive due to the god he hosts. Better?”
“Not really,” Chuuya grumbles but continues to elaborate his true disagreement with Dazai’s statement, “I just like that you’re mine, and I like that after posing to the public I can return home and have it just be us. I don’t want this interview to ruin that.”
“It won’t,” Dazai promises as he pulls Chuuya into his lap and runs his fingers through Chuuya’s soft red locks. “Our home will always be just for the two of us.”
With Dazai’s words, Chuuya is happy to forget the interview.
Or at least until he’s walking through the shopping mart and his face and Dazai’s are plastered on every magazine and on the front of every newspaper. Each and every one of them have an absurd title sprawled across the front that all sound generally like: ‘Nakahara Chuuya Married To Con Artist!”
Shit.
Atsushi wakes up that morning and opens the closest door to the glare of the sun. While the weather seems good and the people outside the window are cheerful, Atsushi feels an overwhelming sense of dread like his tiger is trying to warn him of something. But he pushes the feeling away when Kyouka-chan tugs on his sleeve to invite him for breakfast.
He immediately regrets waving away his concern when he arrives at the Agency building. Or tries to arrive at the agency building.
For some reason reporters are swarming the entrance, heckling anyone who wants to enter. Atsushi looks around, not really wanting to talk to these pushy reporters and kind of nervous that he’ll have to talk to them. And not even Kyouka-chan is with him today since she was escorting Ranpo-san to the train station this morning.
Just as Atsushi is about to give up on searching for help, he notices Kunikida-san strolling towards the office.
“Kunikida-san!” Atsushi calls out as he rushes over to the older man’s side.
Kunikida-san barely gives Atsushi a glance before his eyes are drawn to the rampage of reporters. He stares at them for a few moments before returning to Atsushi, “What is this?”
“I- I’m not sure!” Atsushi cries, glad that someone else is finally here to take charge. He’s very glad that he ran into Kunikida-san opposite to say Dazai-san. Atsushi is certain that Kunikida-san will fix everything. “They were here when I arrived.”
“We’ll just have to go through them,” Kunikida-san decides after observing the reporters once more, “I have 10 minutes to reach the office and I cannot allow these busybodies to interrupt.”
“But, but Kunikida-san!” Atsushi protests, but Kunikida-san is already marching towards the reporters. All Atsushi can do is cower behind Kunikida-san and hope that Kunikida-san can guide him through the throng of people.
“Excuse me,” Kunikida-san says to the first man standing in his way, “I need to be in the building you’re blocking in exactly 2 minutes.”
“Oh!” The man turns around and he’s holding a microphone. Another handful of people armed with professional grade video camera equipment turn with him. “Are you a member of the Armed Detective Agency?”
“I am,” Kunikida-san tells the man even as he glances down at his watch, “And I really need to get to work.”
The reporter ignores Kunikida-san’s statement to ask, “Do you work with Dazai Osamu by any chance?”
“He’s my partner,” Kunikida-san admits before peering back at Atsushi. “And his mentor.”
Atsushi’s eyes widen as he realises that Kunikida-san has just included him into the conversation. However, the reporter just gets this hungry look in his eyes as he takes in Atsushi and Kunikida-san. As Kunikida-san admits to their relationship to Dazai-san, the rest of the crowd around the building turn their fixations onto the two of them. Suddenly there’s a forest of microphones pushed in their faces and people with notepads eagerly begin to scribble in them. Every one of these reporters are blasting questions off at the pair of detectives.
This is entirely too much attention for Atsushi. He gulps as his eyes begin to spin. Only a firm touch of Kunikida-san’s hand to Atsushi’s shoulder grounds him to the situation. Still unsure of what to do, Atsushi looks to Kunikida-san for guidance.
“Can you confirm that Dazai Osamu, your partner is married to Nakahara Chuuya?” One of the reporters is able to ask above the collective bombardment of questions.
“Dazai-san is married to Chuuya-san!” Atsushi exclaims before he really thinks about his words. Immediately after, he realises that he probably shouldn’t have answered the question because the people with notepads begin writing even more vigorously (although how that’s possible since they were already writing insanely fast is beyond Atsushi) and every person in the crowd descends on the two like vultures.
“Can you describe their relationship?”
“Nakahara-san refers to Dazai-san as a penny pincher. Can you confirm this?”
“Are you in personal contact with Nakahara-san?”
“How did Nakahara-san and Dazai-san meet?”
“Nakahara-san claimed that Dazai-san is notoriously lazy. Has your office ever considered firing Dazai-san?”
At that, Kunikida-san pauses in his attempt to push past the crowd of people. He turns to the person, a young woman who’s pushed her way to the front, and says very concisely, “The Agency values Dazai’s work and has no plans to fire him. However, such a question is inconsiderate and confidential between Dazai and the Agency. Please refrain from asking such personal questions in the future, of which ever question asked has been.”
With that Kunikida-san turns to face the entrance of the building only to find that all the reporters now part for him. His glasses twitch as he checks his watch, most likely noticing that he’s now off schedule, and barrels down the passageway of people.
Atsushi follows Kunikida-san, still trying to remain hidden behind the older man. He almost makes it to the entrance without anyone asking him anything. But a man roughly the same age as Atsushi asks him as he’s about to follow Kunikida-san through the door, “How is Dazai-san as a mentor?”
Atsushi turns to the man, aware that Kunikida-san is glaring at him from the confines of the building, and answers, “Dazai-san is an amazing mentor.”
Atsushi quickly enters the building and timidly brushes past Kunikida-san’s gaze and rushes up the stairs to their office. While he’s not ashamed of answering that reporter’s question, he doesn’t particularly want to justify his actions to Kunikida-san. He knows that Kunikida-san didn’t want him talking to the reporters, but Kunikida-san already answered one of their questions, and Atsushi didn’t even respond to a question that’s meaning could be twisted.
He bursts into the office to find Dazai-san draped over the office couch. Kunikida-san notices Dazai-san as well and storms over to his partner to demand, “Have you seen the mess you and your mafia husband have caused us!”
“Good morning to you too, Kunikida-kun,” Dazai-san responds as he flutters his eyes open. He doesn’t respond to Kunikida-san’s question.
Not that Kunikida-san is expecting him to as Kunikida-san then pulls Dazai-san up by the collar of his shirt and shakes Dazai-san back and forth. “That interruption of yours caused me to arrive 3 minutes late to the office. That is unacceptable!”
“And here I thought Kunikida-kun would be happy that I arrived on time!” Dazai-san comments as he allows his head to swing back so he’s looking at Atsushi from upside down. Dazai-san then addresses Atsushi from his position, “Atsushi-kun!”
Now that Atsushi is facing Dazai-san ha can’t help but wonder if the statements the reporters made were true. If he’s wrong, Dazai-san would probably just laugh, right? So Atsushi asks, “Dazai-san, are you married to Chuuya-san?”
Dazai-san blinks a few times and even cranks his head up to share a confused glance with Kunikida-san. Kunikida-san releases Dazai-san and steps back a few paces, rubbing at his nose. Dazai-san, however, turns back to Atsushi once deposited to the floor and eagerly informs Atsushi, “I am!”
“Kunikida-san, did you know?” Atsushi can’t help but ask after seeing how Kunikida-san and Dazai-san reacted to his initial question.
“It’s pretty much common knowledge,” Kunikida-san confirms with a sigh, “I’m not sure how you didn’t know.”
“Dazai-san doesn’t have a ring!” Atsushi is quick to point out.
“True, true,” Dazai-san agrees as he nods, “I lost the ring during one of my drowning attempts.”
Atsushi feels the blood drain from his face as he stares at Dazai-san. He lost his ring! Isn’t that bad? Chuuya-san must be furious at Dazai-san for losing the ring. “Dazai-san! How could you!?”
“It’s not like Chuuya cares,” Dazai-san flicks away Atsushi’s concern with a twist of his left index finger.
Kunikida-san sighs and looks like he wants to protest Dazai-san’s statement, but all he does is agree before adding, “Dazai, what did I say about upholding the reputation of the Agency!”
“Whatever do you mean, Kunikida-kun?” Dazai-san flipitantly asks as he starts listings things off with his fingers, “I haven’t drown myself since yesterday morning, I haven’t invited any woman to commit double suicide with me since last week, I finished 2 reports yesterday, and I even arrived to work early today.”
With each tick of Dazai-san’s fingers, Kunikida-san’s irritation grows. Atsushi can tell by the increasingly quick tapping of Kunikida-san’s right hand on his left arm as he has his arms crossed, and the vicious tapping of Kunikida-san’s left foot. And, honestly, this isn’t the first time Atsushi has watched Dazai-san annoy Kunikida-san, not by a long shot.
“For starters,” Kunikida-san finally allows his anger to boil over and explodes at Dazai-san once more, “Any attempt at suicide, no matter the time, is inexcusable! And why is someone who’s married boasting about not hitting on women! Secondly, those two reports you were so proud to finish were due a month ago! And being early doesn’t mean anything if you’re just going to laze around and not do any work!”
“It’s not like the group of reporters outside is even my fault,” Dazai-san practically whines, and typically Atsushi would be surprised to hear an adult whine like a child, but he’s not even fazed by hearing Dazai-san whine, nor is he surprised by Dazai-san shifting the blame. “It’s Chuuya’s!”
Obviously Kunikida-san is used to Dazai-san crying wolf. “When has Nakahara ever been responsible for anything you blame him for?!”
“Actually,” A voice interjects from behind them. Atsushi turns around to see Yosano-sensei gliding towards them, thankfully with no large, sharp object at hand. “Dazai’s actually telling the truth for once.”
“For once?” Dazai-san raises an eyebrow, but quickly lowers it when Yosano-sensei turns her attention to him.
“It was that interview yesterday, right?” Yosano-sensei continues as if Dazai-san hadn’t interrupted her, “Nakahara really didn’t paint you in a flattering light.”
“He really didn’t,” Dazai-san sighed as he agreed with Yosano-sensei, “But he finally revealed he was married. I was getting sick of dealing with hoards of nameless people desiring him.”
“They’re not going to stop just because he mentioned he was married,” Yosano-sensei warns and Dazai-san just nods even as she adds, “Plus, he made it pretty clear that his marriage isn’t the best. I’m sure the world is just waiting for your divorce.”
“Chuuya would never divorce me!” Dazai-san proclaims cheerfully. Atsushi doesn’t really agree. He thinks Chuuya-san would quite happily divorce Dazai-san if given the chance. And Dazai-san’s next statement really doesn’t help Atsushi’s confidence. “After all, he’s too tiny to fill out the divorce papers!”
Yosano-sensei snorts. Atsushi would like to show his own derision at Dazai-san’s statement, but he could never do something so rude to Dazai-san. Dazai-san, however, doesn’t seem to be fazed by Yosano-sensei’s ridicule, so maybe Atsushi will try next time.
Kunikida-san, having been quietly thinking all this time, finally speaks up, “What interview?”
“Kunikida-kun!” Dazai-san wails in a patronizing way. Does that make sense? Can you wail and be patronizing? Somehow Dazai-san pulls it off. “How could you be so uninformed!?”
“Un-uninformed!” Kunikida-san appears aghast at the potential failure.
Dazai-san, sensing that he’s found a vein he can play with, praddles on, “Yes, yes, didn’t you know Kunikida-kun, constant research on our enemies is imperative at all times. And since the enemy is the Port Mafia, they have their top executives all holding important positions in society. Therefore, every evening we should watch at least 6 hours of television so we can monitor their activity.”
As Dazai-san reveals his terrible evening habits, Kunikida-san actually takes out his notebook and begins copying Dazai-san’s words into the pages as he repeats Dazai’s words, “... Must watch at least 6 hours of television every evening… Hmm, I’ll have to cut out time for dinner preparations and drastically decrease the time allotted for sleeping… And teaching-”
“I'm messing with you!” Dazai-san plays the age old trick and Atsushi can’t help but wonder how Kunikida-san keeps falling for it. Of course, Kunikida-san is outraged by Dazai-san’s trick and explodes at the smug, bandage-wearing man.
“How do you keep falling for that?” Yosano-sensei asks the question that’s been burning in Atsushi’s mind. Kunikida-san doesn’t dignify that with an answer, probably because he really has no excuse.
Instead, he glares at Dazai-san and demands as he stomps away, “This better clear up by tomorrow!”
Dazai-san merely hums in agreement.
However, the next day the reporters aren’t gone.
Atsushi arrives with Kyouka-chan to find the same crowd still circling the entrance to the Armed Detective Agency. Unlike yesterday, Kyouka-chan is with Atsushi so the crowd easily parts for the two of them. Atsushi would like to think that it’s because the reporters have learnt not to bother him. But Atsushi knows it’s actually due to the murderous aura surrounding Kyouka.
As the two of them walk through the crowd, Atsushi notices the reporter who’d first approached him and Kunikida-kun yesterday. The reporter’s still wearing the same clothes as yesterday and doesn’t look like he’s slept.
“Good morning,” Atsushi greets the reporter. He actually stops to interact with the man even as he feels the gazes of the other reporters and Kyouka.
“Ah, hello,” The man’s greeting is subdued, almost as if he’s fighting off sleep, “Have you seen Dazai-san since yesterday?”
“He was at work,” Atsushi tells the man and notes that his eyes crease in frustration, “And he left before me yesterday.”
“I didn’t see him,” The reporter comments, “Are you sure it was him?”
“Uh, yes?” Atsushi stares at the man, not really understanding the question. “It’s hard not to. Dazai-san’s the only person I’ve ever met who wraps himself in bandages.”
“Bandages!” The reporter’s eyes widen and he seems more awake now, “Are you sure!?”
“Yeah, he’s got them wrapped around his arms and up his neck. At least from what I can see,” Atsushi admits. “And he wears this tan coloured trench coat. He’s pretty distinctive.”
“I haven’t seen anyone like that,” The reporter miserates.
“Uh, I’m sorry,” Atsushi tries. He really doesn’t want to be here any longer. The reporter looks almost deranged, and Atsushi’s pretty sure it’s because he hasn’t slept for at least 24 hours. “I really do need to get to work.”
Without waiting for a reply, Atsushi sprints away to catch up with Kyouka-chan. Hopefully the reporters will be gone tomorrow.
But the next day, and the day after and then into the next week, reporters still showed up every morning and every evening in search of Dazai-san. They heckled the other employees into revealing any small tidbit of information on Dazai-san, and monitored the site every hour of every day (even the weekends) for a glimpse of the elusive Dazai-san.
Honestly, Atsushi isn’t sure how Dazai-san is able to disappear so completely. Every morning Dazai-san waltzes into the office yet the reporters don’t seem to notice him. And every evening Dazai-san vanishes from sight the moment he leaves the office.
One time Atsushi even follows Dazai-san in an attempt to learn where he disappears to. However, Atsushi managed to closely tail Dazai-san all the way down the stairs and then entered the small hallway out of the building to find Dazai-san mysteriously gone. He checked with the reporters after and they claim to have not seen Dazai-san.
Maybe 2 weeks after the reporters began to hound the Agency, Kunikida-san has finally had enough. He marches up to Dazai-san, who is currently fawning over his phone (and what’s on his phone, Atsushi doesn’t want to know. With Dazai-san it could be anything from a graphic suicide method- with pictures!- or an image/video of Chuuya-san being especially cute- to the point that Atsushi’s worried that Chuuya-san will hunt him down and kill him for seeing Chuuya-san like that.).
“Dazai! Do something about this catastrophe that your mafia husband caused!”
“Eh? Why do I have to do that?” Dazai whines as he looks up from his phone, so it probably wasn’t Chuuya-san related. (Dazai-san has a habit of ignoring everyone around him if he’s fawning over Chuuya-san.)
“Because it’s your combined antics that have gotten us into this mess!” Kunikida-san declares as he continues to rant, “The reporters are harassing our customers and our employees. Not enough for the police to step in, but enough for it impact our work ethic.”
And actually Atsushi agrees with everything Kunikida-san says. However, Kunikida-san continues and his rant gets more self centered as he goes, “Worst is that they affect my schedule. I now have to pen in 5 minutes extra every time I enter to leave the Agency to deal with your irritating paparazzi. It’s unacceptable!”
“Fi~in! I’ll call Chuuya,” Dazai-san gives in surprisingly easily. Atsushi’s sure that Dazai-san must have something planned, but he can only guess with trepidation.
Dazai-san easily presses a few buttons and holds his phone up to his ear, “My darling slug! No, no, no! Don’t hang up on me! Chuuya! Is that anyway to talk to your doting husband?”
Dazai-san leans into his desk as he nods to whatever Chuuya-san is saying on the other end. “No, that’s not why I’m calling. Although I wouldn’t be opposed to it later! Fine! Kunikida-kun has been badgering me about the consequences of your little incident. Irony? No I don’t see any irony in that. Yep!”
Suddenly Dazai-san is frowning and he practically wails into the phone, “Nooooo!!! Chuuya! The bed will be so cold without you! And who will make me crab for dinner?!”
Atsushi actually hears Chuuya-san’s voice snapping back at Dazai-san through the phone, “Shut up, mackerel or I’ll cook you for dinner!”
Dazai-san is now beaming once more, and Atsushi isn’t even going to consider the reasons why that is. Nope, definitely not. At least he quiets down, probably listening to Chuuya-san explain himself because after Dazai-san says, “Promise?! Okay, got it~!”
Dazai-san pulls the phone away from his ear with the bemused grin. He turns to Kunikida-san and informs him, “Chuuya says he’s doing something about it tonight!”
“He better,” Atsushi hears Kunikida-san mutter, and, honestly, Atsushi agrees with Kunikida-san.
The TV flickers on once more. It’s the same talk show as before in the exact same set up. Even the host is the same as before wearing what looks to be the same grey suit as before. Not that anyone cares, since they aren’t here for the host. Instead, the world’s eyes are on his returning guest: Nakahara Chuuya.
Nakahara is impeccable as always in his three piece suit that matches the fancy hat perched on his recently straightened red hair. This time, everyone immediately notices that he’s not wearing gloves and his wedding ring is on stark display. In fact, he wears a dark overcoat to his suit that pulls up to his forearms, most likely to highlight the glint of silver around his left ring finger.
The host is seated across from Nakahara, in the same terrible chair, and is prattling on and on as Nakahara politely nods his head. Finally, the host shuts up enough for Nakahara to speak, “I will admit, I’m here today to clear up a few misconceptions I may have promoted last time concerning me and my husband.”
The host visibly winces, most likely remembering the shit show that happened the last time that Nakahara’s husband was mentioned. Still, the host has the guts to ask, “Misconceptions?”
“For starters,” Nakahara smiles, but his polite smile is almost frost and a threat that he throws to the cameras and the world at large, “Would you please stop hounding my husband’s workplace? His coworkers have voiced quite a few complaints to me. And quite honestly, I find their methods to be in quite poor taste. Although my husband loves it. Just give up. You’ll never actually manage to catch him leaving or arriving at work.”
“Ah,” The host is quick to agree with Nakahara’s bashing of the media outlets that have been following this exciting story. “But Nakahara-san, I don’t think that constitutes as a misconception.”
“Does it now?” Nakahara asks, almost innocently, “How about this then, I don’t appreciate people calling my husband a gold digger.”
“But, but didn’t you say that last time?” The host asks. He audibly yelps when Nakahara turns his frost smile to him.
“I most definitely did not.” It’s not a snarl since it’s spoken quite politely, but it might as well have been with the clear aggression in Nakahara-san’s voice.
“Well, well you definitely implied it!” The host is quick to defend himself, “You mentioned that he married you for your money.”
“Because he likes to annoy me,” Nakahara actually rolls his eyes. Like, what!? Nakahara's records have been leaked and Dazai defiantly spends quite a large portion of Nakahara's salary. And Nakahara simply brushes it aside as an annoyance! “Dazai is perfectly capable of paying for anything he wants.”
“But he makes a detective’s wage.Even being very generous, he still couldn’t afford much of what you can, Nakahara-san.” The host very meekly points out.
Nakahara snorts which causes the host to cower further, “Dazai’s probably richer than I’ll ever be. Not that he spends a penny of it, the bastard.”
“He’s richer? I’m not sure I understand.” The host is actually brave enough to question Nakahara-san further, “There aren’t any public records of him before his employment at the Armed Detective Agency, which removes the possibility of him belonging to a rich family, and you are one of the richest people in the world Nakahara-san.”
“I wonder where those records went,” The microphones are able to pick up Nakahara’s scathing comment that he mutters, most likely to himself. “The records are obstructed from the public, but Dazai and I have known each other for a very long time. He’s the reason that I have the job I have today.”
“Really?” The host actually looks intrigued instead of terrified for once, “Just how did you and your husband meet, Nakahara-san?”
“He recruited me to work for his father’s company when I was 15,” Nakahara has a far off look in his eyes as he reminiscences on his past.
“When you were 15…” The host’s eyes are blown wide as he makes the connection that every Nakahara fan is currently making, “Didn’t you start working for the Mori corporation at 15!?”
“Yep,” Nakahara pops the p as he smirks. He continues with vigour, “Dazai is Mori’s adopted son. The two of us worked together until he decided to spread his wings at 18. Not only was he an executive at Mori corporations for years, he was also set up to inherit the company when Mori passed away. Even now, he probably still has access to Mori’s funds. Plus the slimy mackerel can play the stock market better than anyone.”
“You sound very fond of your husband,” The host comments, not even attempting to touch the declaration Nakahara just made. “Yet you constantly complain about him.”
“Of course I’m fond of him!” Nakahara almost snarls even as his eyes light up, “I love him! But that doesn't mean he’s the worst scum to walk the Earth! Always asking people to kill him, the bastard. I’ll be the one to kill him!”
The host, quite wisely, does not press the almost murderous look in Nakahara’s eyes. And it’s such a different look that the world is used to seeing, and yet not unsimilar to the look he has when he talks about crushing his competition in the business world. Instead, the host points out one thing that’s been bothering him, “Nakahara-san, correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you say that your husband scammed you into marrying him. Did you love him then? Or did you just learn to accept it?”
“Huh?” Nakahara actually seems surprised as he glances down at his ring, “Let me be very clear about this. I’m angry that Dazai scammed me into signing marriage papers. Not because I didn’t want to marry him. I very much wanted to marry him.”
“But then the bastard tricked me into marriage a day before I was going to propose!”