Chapter Text
Peter was truly grateful with how understanding aunt May had been when he had come out to her as transgender. They had a short conversation about it all while they cleaned up from dinner (Did he want her to call him her nephew? He, him, a boy? Did he want to tell everyone or wait? What did he want to tell the new high school? Was there anything he needed her to buy?) and then they went and watched the new Tony Stark documentary that was airing.
Truthfully, Peter hadn't really expected otherwise. But he couldn’t be too hopeful because then he’d only be let down. He hadn’t expected his aunt to go to Midtown High the next day and have them change the name and gender on his school documents. He was, of course, very grateful for that and made sure she knew. But he had definitely not expected it.
Peter’s freshman year was kind of a mess, if he were being honest with himself.
It had started off as well as any year could. The start of the year always messed with Peter’s head because it meant changing his summer routine and needing to form a new one. His routine was important, it impacted the rest of the school year. Peter had figured out that if he had a good routine set before the first month of school was over, he would have a pretty good year. If it took longer than that for him to get settled, that usually meant the school year would suck.
He had gotten his new routine fairly quickly, and was really happy with his teachers, too. Peter had been worried that new teachers wouldn’t understand him. He’d been through too many schools where the teachers wouldn’t let him attend the classes he wanted to because he was autistic. They thought he’d fall too far behind or cause a distraction or something.
He had hoped that high school was different and was pleased to find that he was able to take all the same classes the other students took. He had been especially worried about the science classes, they had always been his favourite and if he was placed in any class but the advanced ones he would just be bored. He’d already read the text books for biology 101 in middle school.
But the teachers all (well all but the Spanish teacher, she hated him. But Peter didn’t think that was very fair. He had a hard enough time with his first language as it was, it wasn’t like he was purposefully doing bad.) treated Peter just as they did everyone else. Peter loved that. They didn’t treat him special because he was autistic and they couldn’t treat him special because he was trans. They didn’t know that. And that fact made Peter especially happy.
Even with the good teachers and decent students, Peter was glad that he and Ned had most of their classes together. When they had finished something before the rest of the class, they would sit in the back and draw pen pictures back and forth of stick figure jedis fighting, or Iron Man flying next to Thor.
And on not so good days, Ned was always there to help Peter through his shutdowns or sensory meltdowns.
It was during one of those not good days that everything started to go downhill for Peter.
Peter often forgot that he was trans. He didn’t forget he was a boy, he just tended to forget that he wasn’t cisgender. That he wasn’t normal. That he was special . Usually that was the result of spending too many nights without taking off his binder at all but it never really bothered him. Well, not until it did bother him.
And on top of that, Peter could feel the start of a sensory overload buzzing under his skin and in his ears. He shook his head and hands and tried to make it go away, but it only made him more aware of his skin. Peter scrunched his face and picked his favourite hoodie from off the floor. It was one of uncle Ben’s, big and black with a faded Stark Industries logo on the front.
While walking to school, Peter couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d forgotten something important. He tried to tell himself that May or Ned would remind him of anything too important, but reassuring himself never seemed to do much. By the time he got to school, Peter had managed to calm down a little. He was still on edge and jumpy and flinched at the thought of walking through the crowded hallways, but the spiders crawling under his skin had calmed down.
Ned was already waiting for him by their lockers and he looked nervous, tapping away at his phone. “Peter! Good, you’re here, I thought you were going to miss it!” He said as he looked up.
“Hey Ned. Miss what?” Peter scrunched his face in confusion and started twisting the combination lock open. “The field trip, we’re going to Oscorp to see the new exhibit. Remember?” Peter hit the locker, “I knew I forgot something!”
He followed Ned to the library where they were supposed to wait for everyone and the buses to arrive. Normally, the library was one of the places Peter would go to get away from the crowds during school, but with half the sophomore class there it wasn’t quiet at all.
Peter thought it seemed to take forever for Mrs.Glasser, the chemistry teacher, to finish with the attendance and silently begged everyone to just sit still. When she had finally finished, the class moved out the door and to the bus in anything but the line that they were instructed to be in. Peter sat in the first available seat, Ned quick to sit next to him. They talked about how excited they were, about the things they expected to see there, the articles and rumours they had seen online. Or well, they texted each other.
Peter was still over-stimulated, by the too loud bus and the too bright sun and the way he could feel the seat wrinkling under his knees. The noise cancelling headphones aunt May had gifted him for his birthday were starting to lose their silencing ability, the soft padding of the ear cups worn off from years of wear, and he could still hear the fuzzy eruption of voices around him. He pulled his hood up in a last effort to block out the sounds, grateful that it at least shielded his eyes.
The ride was short and Ned stayed with Peter while the rest of the class rushed off the bus to meet the tour guides.
“How are you all?” One of the guides asked, her voice muffled by his headphones. Peter’s eyes flitted around the area as she explained the schedule for the day, his hand digging into his pocket to pull out a fidget cube. He tried to pay attention, he really did. He had been waiting for this field trip since the start of the year, before they had even got the official permission slip.
But he couldn’t hear enough of what she was saying over the muted comments of his classmates, which of course he could hear as loud as ever. He gripped the cube tight in his hand, the little buttons and levers digging into his palm. He’d been so excited for this day, why did it have to go so wrong?