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There were four things that Finral immediately remembered as soon as he woke up.
One. Taking part in the Royal Knights Selection Exam held to pick the Royal Knights that will raid the Eye of the Midnight Sun's base.
Two. The fight against Langris' team in the quarterfinals and Finral's duty to protect their team's own crystal.
Three. Langris' sadistic face as his dark spheres shaved chunks of his older brother's body away.
Four. The last thought he had before he lost consciousness. "Ah. I failed as his brother again."
Finral's mind was still foggy, but he more or less remembered everything. His vision eventually focused on the gray brick walls surrounding him. He was probably in the capital's medical headquarters and had been asleep for several days. He wondered if the selected Royal Knights departed yet, and lamented the fact that he wasn't able to bid his comrades goodbye.
The bedsheets were smooth under him, and his bare arms that tucked his blanket in place felt chilly. He was about to sleep again when he heard the voices.
The spatial mage tilted his head a little to the direction of the door and saw three figures standing near the entrance. The room was fairly spacious, the distance between the bed and the door being the reason why Finral didn't realize he was alone earlier.
Yami was talking with two members of the Golden Dawn, captain William Vangeance and behind him was...
Finral's eyes widened.
Langris. With his wrists cuffed together by a magical item. He was most likely taken for questioning after releasing that ominous mana in the selection. Finral felt a pang of worry; he hoped that Langris was fine.
The Golden Dawn captain bowed his head gracefully. "His questioning's still ongoing, but I requested that he be brought here for a short while. I apologize for Langris'... misbehavior during the selection. As the captain of Golden Dawn, I too am responsible for the actions of the members. Rest assured that this incident will not happen agai-"
"Oi oi," Yami's annoyance was evident in his tone. Even with the distance between them, Finral could hear his captain's loud voice clearly. "Does your vice captain-san there not have a mouth? Did you bring him here just for decoration?"
William looked behind him and beckoned Langris to come forward. "Langris, don't you have anything to say to the captain of the Black Bull?"
Langris didn't even move an inch, causing William to sigh deeply.
"He caused all of this, so he better not hide behind your flashy cape." Yami took a long drag of his cigarette and breathed out. He gestured to the Golden Dawn vice-captain who looked everywhere but Yami's eyes, face blank of any emotion. Finral took a small peek before closing his eyes again. He didn't want to make the situation more awkward for everyone in the room lest they'll notice he's awake.
"Oi kid," Finral heard his captain say. "I'm not mad at you mainly for Finral's injuries, though that's also one reason. It happened within the match and as per regulations, the participants are allowed to wreak havoc as much as they want. But that rule's basically non-existent after the match ended. You intentionally attempted to finish off one of my men who already lost and was lying defenseless on the ground. I'm not the person to preach about the code of Magic Knight etiquette or whatnot, but what you did was downright shameful. What's worse is that you're his brother. Do you really hate him that much?"
Finral weakly grasped at the sheets covering him. His throat still felt like sandpaper and his body, while already in the later stages of healing, still felt achy and painful all over. However, instead of trying to take his mind off the pain, he focused on every throb and sting instead.
Just so that he won't hear Langris' answer.
He heard it anyway, and like any other word from his little brother, it shattered his heart into little pieces.
"What if I do?" Langris' tone was so full of malice that he practically spat out his words. Finral couldn't see Yami's reaction, but he can very well imagine the annoyed twitch of his captain's brow. If he wasn't making that expression then well, Finral can dream.
In his prone position on the stuffy bed, he was certain that each word Langris utters will be like a thin little needle piercing into the depths of his heart.
And Langris had a whole lot to say.
The Golden Dawn vice-captain's mocking laughter filled the spacious room. "How could I not hate him? Despite being the older brother, my talents far surpassed his since we were children. And I, the little brother, was praised by my parents and became the Vaude family heir. Isn't it embarrassing? He's a useless coward who left the family, wandered off on his own and even managed to land in the worst squad to exist. How low can one get-"
"Langris." Vangeance called out warningly, but Langris showed no signs of stopping.
"Even within your squad, don't you just order him around to bring you everywhere? A good-for-nothing porter, that's all he is and will ever be. A miserable existence that shouldn't have ever been a magic knight, no, he's someone who shouldn't have been born in the first place and became my brother! "
Finral opened his eyes once more but immediately regretted it. Langris' cuffs transformed into thick chains that bound the spatial mage's whole torso. It was a high-tier binding magic item that reacted to the malice of the person it binded. Even with his body encased in chains, Langris was a beast ready to attack. The pure unadulterated hate in his brother's eyes was enough to make Finral close his own.
Finral's chest felt heavy. Heavier than how he felt in the recent nights he thought of his brother.
How did it even come to this?
Finral never divulged this to anyone before, but there was one, single time when Langris smiled at him genuinely. Finral was four and Langris was three; it had been three years since his father's new wife and Langris moved to their home. The two siblings were always separated- now that the spatial mage thought about it-but there was one instance when their parents allowed them to play together while the former went on a trip.
The older showed his little brother a party trick, creating mini portals and sticking his arms and legs out only for his limbs to appear a good distance from where they were standing. It wasn't anything impressive; it was their first year of training and Langris, being the genius that he was, can already do more than create meager portals. However, Finral didn't miss the slight curl of Langris' lips when he watched parts of his brother's body appear and disappear using magic.
He missed those fleeting days when their parents didn't pit them against one another for their own benefit, when Langris and Finral were just brothers.
Finral supposed it was his fault. When he walked away from his family, he thought of poor little Langris being left behind and smothered with the weight of their parents' expectations. He knew how it felt to be branded as useless that no one could be bothered to expect anything from him, but he also knew that it was equally painful, tragic even, to be seen by one's parents as a trophy child.
Langris may not admit it, but it pained Finral to think that his brother probably knew from the start that he was just being used.
If he never left, even while remaining miserable for the rest of his life, could he have helped ease the burden on his brother? If he continued to stay by his brother's side, would things be different?
Did he make the wrong decision all along?
He smiled ruefully. Maybe he's still a good-for-nothing, after all.
Apparently, Yami thought the opposite.
"A coward?" The burly captain of the Bulls flicked his cigarette butt to the ground and crushed it with a boot. "Well, he surely acts like that sometimes, but it's always with the small things. You sure as hell don't know about this, so I'm gonna tell you. In one of our recent missions, Finral fought brilliantly and stood his ground against one of the high rankers in the Eye of the Midnight Sun. I was watching the whole time. I saw within him that a flame was lit, and that flame was the desire to protect those who are important to him. That Finral, the one you're calling a useless coward? In that moment, he was ready to risk his life for his friends. And he did."
Finral felt something break open inside his heart. He didn't know what it was, but he can feel it budding steadily behind his ribcage.
It made him feel warm.
Yami continued, eyes full of wisdom, "I don't know much about your family circumstances, but let me guess: it's shitty. I have heard of Ledior Vaude and they say he's always up to no good. Anyway, you were better than your brother at everything, so your parents put all the pressure on you that it felt that you'll become pulverized by it. You loathe your brother for leaving just like that, that you couldn't live the same carefree life as him and was left stuck with a family who only cared for your magic. Heck, you probably even have insecurities no one but you knows about, but because you drowned yourself in all that shit, you don't even notice the one person who truly cared about you."
"Stop making assumptions about me!" Langris roared. He didn't bother shaking off his restraints, but he communicated everything with his fiery eyes. William remained silent. Finral hesitantly opened his eyes again only to see Yami grinning with his hands on his hips.
"Hell yeah. I just pulled all of that out of my ass right now, but it still hurts doesn't it? That's the same thing you're doing to Finral right now... no, all your life. Being stronger than others doesn't give you the right to assume that they're useless. You may be better at one thing, but other people can also do something better than you. People are both better and worse than other people. That is the natural order."
The images of Finral's parents calling him useless in his mind was replaced by that of his captain who thought differently. Yami Sukehiro was barbaric and rough, but he was always true to his word. The fact that Yami thought he was worth something, anything at all, was enough to make his heart burst from happiness.
"And you hate the kid for leaving?" Yami's voice was louder, like what he's saying was downright ridiculous. "Well then, didn't it ever occur to you that Finral left because he wanted to chase his own happiness? He was already the black sheep of your family. What can he even gain from staying and being mocked every single day? He left to find a place to belong to, and he did. His place is right here with us, the Black Bulls. And he's doing just fine."
In an instant, the tip of Yami's sword almost kissed Langris' neck. It was frightening, the Black Bull captain's inhuman speed. Yami's eyes were stormy and murderous. "The next time you attempt something like that to one of my members, I'll cut you."
Langris appeared to be unfazed by the threat, but his chains gradually reverted back to the original handcuffs. Whether it was from Yami's preaching or his threat, only Langris knew the answer.
Sliding his sword back into its sheath, Yami smiled lightly and tapped the spatial mage's shoulder. "But seriously, if you just talk with him, both of you can set things straight. If you're hurting, you can always tell him. No need to put on the tough act when you have your brother to hear you out."
"You can do better, vice captain-san. Stop breaking his heart already. And yours too."
The younger Vaude's eyes were downcast, his shoulders hunched, and for the first time, Finral felt like he saw a real glimpse of his brother.
Suddenly, he met Langris' eyes before he could pretend he's asleep. It was like something inside of his little brother pulled at him to look at his direction. His brother's eyes widened for a moment. Finral braced himself for a look of contempt but it never came. Instead, Langris' eyes looked melancholic and conflicted. Finral didn't know what his brother saw in his eyes, but he hoped that his feelings reached him, even just a little bit.
I won't give up on you.
Captain Vangeance finally spoke. "Yami, it appears that it was a bad idea for me to bring Langris here. I apologize. I'll bring him back to the quarters."
"You better give him some alone time to think, Vangeance."
"I will."
Once the two Golden Dawn members left, Yami gazed at Finral's direction. The latter didn't bother to pretend he was asleep anymore, feeling too drained to do so. Captain Yami walked toward him and sat down on the side of his bed.
"Had a good beauty sleep?" Yami teased.
Finral was about to retort when he noticed that the former wasn't smiling when he should be.
That's when he felt the hot liquid running down his face.
Eh?
Finral's fingers settled on the spot just under his eyes. They were wet, like he'd been crying a lot. Part of his face even felt sticky from dried tears. Was he already crying when Langris looked at him? When did he even start crying?
"He left to find a place to belong to, and he did."
Ah.
Finral's shoulders shook, lips trembling. The tears flowed out freely now like a fountain, gushing out of his eyes and sliding down his face and onto the pillow.
"His place is right here with us, the Black Bulls. And he's doing just fine."
Finral covered his eyes with one arm and continued to cry silently. He must look pathetic crying in front of his captain, but he can't help it.
Not when he felt so loved by his friends.
"Y-Yami-san," he said, gasping for breath, "thank you."
A piece of cloth was thrown softly at his face in response. He can't see it, but he knew immediately that it was his Black Bull robe. He cried harder.
"Oi, stop crying already."
The spatial mage squeezed his robe with his free hand. "I-I promise to be stronger, so please forgive me for being weak right now."
"That's not it, idiot. You wouldn't want them to worry, would you?"
As if on cue, the door burst open.
"FINRAL-SENPAAAAI!" Asta.
"FINRAAAAAAAAAL! You had us worried man!" Magna.
"I hope we can fight soon, Finral!" Luck.
"You're awake! Geez, you better not worry my pretty face like this again!" Vanessa.
"I-It's not like I came here because I was worried, okay?" Noelle.
"You should be honored that I visited you instead of finishing my Marie doll." Gauche.
"*********************" Some mumbling that was probably Gordon's.
"I-I'm so embarrassed but I really wanted to visit Finral-san... But it's so embarrassing!" Grey.
"My sheep cooks will help nurse you back to health by cooking some delicious noms, la!" Charmy.
His friends are here.
Slowly, Finral lifted the robe and removed the arm covering his eyes. Asta's relieved and excited face immediately turned to a concerned one when he saw Finral up close.
"Why is senpai crying? WHO MADE FINRAL-SENPAI CRY?" Asta's grimoire blazed and he was halfway through taking out his demon slayer sword when Yami grabbed his head.
"Y-Yami-san, it hurts!!"
"Just try and do that, kid."
Now all the Black Bull members looked concerned, heck, even Gauche, surrounding Finral and asking him questions about who hurt him and made him cry.
Vanessa extended a soothing hand to wipe the tears off his face. Finral briefly remembered the whole ordeal at the Witches' Forest and how Vanessa summoned Rouge, the destiny-altering spell.
If Finral and Langris' relationship was destined to be ill-fated from the start, then Finral will change that destiny with his own hands.
For now, he will be stronger so that he can be someone not just his brother but also everyone can rely on.
He let out a forced laugh that gradually became natural because of his amusement at his friends' faces. "It's because Yami-san said something so funny that I cried from laughing," he reasoned, hoping that Yami will play along.
"Ha?! I'll kill you."
Or not.
"And so when you got hurt, Charmy-paisen summoned this HUUUUGE sheep and flung all of us to the match area!"
"It was my head cook, la!"
"Your brother's crazy, dude!"
"I wanna try fighting him!"
"Noelle was the first one to assess your injuries, right Noelle- OUCH!"
"W-What are you even saying, Bakasta?!"
"OUUUUUCH!"
.
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.
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The rest of the afternoon was filled with laughter and story-telling even as Dr. Owen came in.