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“—And then you just connect these wires here, and if you hear this… clinking sound, you know you've d-done it right,” Dwight explains, crouched by a generator with Felix carefully looking over his shoulder as he repairs the machine. “I, uh, I didn't get it, but… that's the idea,” he explains, embarrassment flooding over him as he failed to give the generator extra progress because his hands are shaking so much.
“I see,” Felix says, apparently not minding Dwight fucking up. “Thank you for showing me. I tried to ask the… Korean girl, but she just told me to ‘get good’.”
“Chinese, and yeah, she does that,” Dwight cringes in sympathy, making a mental note to give Feng yet another feeble pep talk about being nice to new survivors. “I promise it's nothing personal, she's just really competitive.”
“Fair enough,” Felix says. “After we finish this generator, do you think you could explain the bone piles? Meg showed me one, but I didn't really understand what I was supposed to do.”
“Oh! Of course. We call them totems; I saw a couple nearby. I'll show you after this," Dwight says.
“Thank you,” Felix says with a small smile. “Sorry for being a bother, you must be tired of teaching new survivors all the time."
“N-not at all!” Dwight exclaims, leaving out the fact that everyone before Felix has mostly brushed him off and learned from one of the others. “I like helping people,” he adds lamely.
“You've certainly made this a lot easier. You're a good leader,” Felix says, offering him yet another smile that nearly makes Dwight swoon.
“Thanks,” Dwight mutters awkwardly and almost adds a ‘You too’ while he tries not to burst from the compliment.
So he has a crush on Felix. It would be impossible not to; he's polite and freakishly smart and actually treats Dwight like he's not a complete failure of a leader.
Plus he's insanely attractive.
For what has to be several tens of trials they've been in together, Felix has always approached him for instructions, eager to learn more about their predicament. And Dwight is more than happy to help, even if his advice is far from well-put and he often messes up from the nerves. But Felix doesn't seem to care that he doesn't have a single authoritative bone in his body, always thanking him for his teachings and commending his efforts.
And god, Dwight is weak to praise.
He tries not to let his feelings show, not wanting to ruin their slowly blossoming friendship. Felix hasn't shown any type of interest in him, and Dwight isn’t surprised, considering his commitment to a girlfriend and baby in the real world, not to mention even if he was into guys Dwight is probably the last one in camp anyone would go for. But despite knowing that basic kindness doesn't mean romantic interest, it's so hard not to let his mind run wild with different possibilities when Felix smiles and looks him in the eye and tells him, with his wonderful accent, that Dwight is a great teacher.
Several trials later, back at the campfire, Dwight is the last to arrive after a rough trial, and is surprised to find a commotion going on. But when he sees Kate twirl in a bright orange dress, he realizes the Entity has once again decided to dress them up as her dolls.
“It's so pretty!” Dwight sees Claudette smile and poke at Kate's flower crown, and he almost misses her reply of “Thanks, doll,” because he sees something so much more pretty.
Felix is one of the lucky ones to have gotten a new outfit, and he looks even better than usual. His hair is styled in an undercut with a stray lock and trimmed stubble adding a roguish charm to his looks, and he's wearing a suit vest with a button-up shirt, along with cute capris that make the outfit seem a little more casual. Felix is sitting on one of the logs with his hands clasped below his chin, chatting away with Adam and David.
“Hey, Dwight's here!” Yui announces, and several heads turn in his direction, causing his heart to leap into his throat. What are they planning?
“Let the festivities begin!” Meg squeals, jumping up on a treestump and showing off her new outfit, a leather vest and ruffled shirt with matching pants, while throwing some party streamers over the group.
The group shuffles into a circle to the side of the campfire, Kate and Meg taking the center of the makeshift stage.
“What's going on?” Dwight asks Bill, sitting down next to him in the circle.
“Kids celebratin' Oktoberfest,” Bill grumbles around his cigarette. “'Cause of the new clothes.”
Dwight takes a closer look at Meg and Kate, and can definitely see a festive, folk kind of theme; might as well embrace the opportunity to celebrate.
“Welcome to the first annual Oktoberfest, sponsored by the Entity!" Meg announces. “Now if our host—” she bounces over to Felix and forcefully yanks him to his feet. “—Would get up on stage and tell us about the program!” she finishes, giving Felix an encouraging smack on the shoulder while shoving him into the middle of the circle.
“I, ehh… What program?” Felix asks, eyebrows furrowing together in confusion.
“You've been, right? What do people do at the festival?” Kate prods.
“It's mostly about the beer, which… we obviously don't have,” Felix starts, a hint of hesitation in his normally calm and collected voice.
“What else? There has to be something we can do!” Meg pushes.
“Well, there's food like the pretzels and bratwurst,” Felix continues, pausing to consider. “There's a parade, and a section for carnival activities. And of course the music, and drinking songs—”
“Ooh, that sounds nice!” Kate interrupts. “Can you teach us some songs, hun?”
“The most common one is ‘Ein Prosit’. Do you know it?” he asks, and when Kate shakes her head, he looks around camp, feebly trying to request back-up.
“C'mon lad, let's hear it!” David encourages.
“I don't sing,” Felix states, and he looks really uncomfortable and Dwight's heart simultaneously breaks a little in sympathy and skips a beat over seeing the small blush on his cheeks.
“I have a Swedish one!” Nea suddenly exclaims, jumping up on her feet.
“Go on, darlin’!” Kate encourages. Nea takes a deep breath, and without any hesitation, starts belting out a broken tune in what sounds like complete gibberish.
“HELAN GÅR—” Nea practically shouts into the stillness of campfire, and Kate excitedly joins in, keeping the tune but missing half of the words, and Meg follows, forgoing the words in favor of a steady humming, but it's a good effort, much more than Dwight would ever have the guts to do.
“—Sjung hoppfaderallan lej, HEJ!” Nea ends the song with a shout and fistpump, which doesn't seem all that fitting. But it makes Dwight smile, and he adds a quiet “Hey!” and a raises his own fist in solidarity, and Nea grinning in approval is worth the embarrassment of several pairs of scrutinizing eyes turning in his direction.
“Okay, your turn!” Meg turns to Felix, who is now cringing from what seems to be second hand embarrassment. Shit, hopefully he doesn't think Dwight is a complete loser for joining in on the song—
“I told you, I can barely sing along,” Felix says. “I wouldn't even know the proper tune.”
“Well, then we'll make our own version!” Kate insists. “What are the lyrics?”
“It's…” Felix says, clearing his throat self-consciously. “Ein Prosit, Ein Prosit, der Gemütlichkeit. And then it repeats a second time.”
“Gamutelick—ight?” Kate clarifies.
“Gemütlichkeit,” Felix repeats, and Kate mouths the word in thought.
“What does it mean?” Claudette asks curiously from the sidelines.
“‘A toast, a toast, to’… it's difficult to translate,” Felix frowns. “Belonging? Friendliness? It's almost like, a form of togetherness.”
Difficult to define and friendly and feeling like he belongs is pretty much exactly what Dwight feels for Felix, and he decides he already likes the song.
“Aww, that's cute," Nea comments. "Mine basically means ‘chug it’".
“A common theme in the German language is that it sounds cold but the meaning is warm,” Adam informs.
Dwight can't help but wonder if that also applies to Felix, very cool and collected on the outside but a big softie on the inside—
Ah, there he goes again; wishful thinking.
“Let's try this, everyone!” Kate announces, clearing her throat and taking a deep breath to signify the song starting.
“Ein Prosit, Ein Prosit,” she sings slowly, letting her steady voice carry a made-up tune.
“Come on, you guys too!” Meg encourages to their ‘audience’.
Dwight quietly joins in with some of the others, no doubt messing up most of the words and his tune shaky at best. And even Felix is comfortable enough to sing now, and Dwight can barely make out his quiet voice in the mix of Kate's overpowering one and David's deep one and Ace's shitty pronunciation, but it's there, and it sounds so fricking cute ugh—
And then the song ends, Kate drawing out a high note on a solo, before the camp erupts into cheers and applause.
“That was awesome!” Steve cheers.
“Well, it was… something,” Zarina comments, failing to suppress a smile.
“And now for the main event!” Meg announces, doing—finger guns? She’s really embracing her role as hostess—at Jeff, who procures Kate's guitar from behind him.
And then Jeff starts playing an upbeat tune on the guitar and the songstress, to Dwight's mortification, exclaims:
“Time to dance!”
“There's not usually any dancing—” Felix starts, confused.
“There is now!” Kate shoots back with a bright smile, grabbing Felix's hand. And Felix just chuckles and obediently gets into position, one hand on her waist while hers settles on his shoulder.
Out of the corner of his eye, Dwight sees Meg make her way to where some of the girls are sitting, trying to get someone to join her, but his mind is focused on Felix and Kate.
They look beautiful together, straight from some idyllic painting of a happy couple living in a flower field in the Alps, in a log cabin with their 2.5 children and a St. Bernard. Kate follows Felix's lead, effortlessly gliding over the ground with her dress flowing behind her and rising into a cone when Felix twirls her around, and Kate laughs a genuine laugh in her melodious voice.
Dwight looks at the ground as he feels a lump form in his throat. He always knew he'd never have a shot with Felix, and he knows he’s nowhere close to being in the man’s league. But it still hurts to see him enjoy spending time with Kate so much. Soon, they'll probably be a couple.
Dwight glances over to Meg and sees she's finally successfully gotten Claudette to come dance with her, pulling the reluctant botanist to her feet. Meanwhile, Ace has unknowingly saved Dwight's sanity, swooping in and stealing Kate from Felix for a dance, the girl laughing at a joke the gambler no doubt cracks. Dwight's heartbeat picks up when Felix turns around, probably going to ask one of the other girls to dance, and Dwight shouldn't read into whoever he ends up picking but he knows he will—
Luckily, Felix doesn't get a chance to take his pick before Jane taps him on the shoulder, looking for a dance, and he smiles politely and takes her for a twirl.
Dwight sees Steve excitedly bound over to Claudette and Meg, and Meg shoves her friend in his arms before going to pester some of the others.
“Nope. Not happening,” Yui crosses her arms and shakes her head, and Meg only has to glance in Bill's direction before he snorts out something that could generously be described as a laugh.
“Not a fucking chance,” Bill grumbles.
And then Meg’s eyes meet Dwight's.
“Come on, Dwight!" she exclaims excitedly, tugging on his wrist.
“N-no, I'm alright, thanks,” Dwight blabbers, trying not to let it show how much it means to him that she'd even ask, reminded of all the times he had to do this in school and was always the last to be picked.
“Why not? It's fun!” Meg urges.
“I really suck at dancing” Dwight says, and it's not even a lie, he hasn’t danced in close to a decade.
“Aww, you're so boring, all of you!” Meg pouts and puts her hands on her hips, looking over her still seated companions. “Who's going to dance with me?”
“Ugh, fine!” Nea exclaims, jumping up on her feet. “But you're not allowed to complain when I step on your feet.”
“Deal!”
“Can I try?” Cheryl asks, hovering around the other side of the makeshift dance floor.
“Of course, hun!” Kate encourages, sweeping the girl up when the couples switch partners, spinning her around and causing her to whoop excitedly.
And Dwight, somehow, completely misses Felix making his way over.
“Are you sure you don't want to dance?” Felix asks, and Dwight nearly jumps out of his skin when he turns his head and sees Felix's proximity and outstretched hand. And wow, after the dancing his hair is messed up just the perfect amount, and he looks so good—shit, focus!
“I think that'd be best for everyone involved,” Dwight says and manages a shaky grin. “I have two left feet and no sense of rhythm whatsoever.”
“You just have to follow my lead,” Felix encourages, and Dwight feels his face heating up from the insistence. Either he really wants to dance with Dwight, or he's taking pity on him.
Of course Dwight also really, really wants to dance with Felix, and join the fun and be close to him and have Felix smile like he did with Kate. But wouldn't it be suspicious? Even though some of the girls are dancing together, that's kind of different, right? If he says yes, will everyone know he has a crush on Felix?
“Way to leave a guy hanging,” Ash quips from his right, and Dwight sees a sly grin when he looks over. Ouch, looks like his crush isn't as secret as he thought. Oh, what the hell.
“O-okay," Dwight says, grabbing the offered hand and trying not to panic because oh god it's so warm and Felix is gonna notice his palm is sweaty—
But Felix just smiles and pulls Dwight against him, and then he's moving Dwight in the rhythm of the music and Dwight just has to move his feet so he doesn't trip over himself, and that should be something even he's capable of.
God, Felix smells amazing. Dwight's heart is beating out of his chest upon getting to be so close to the beautiful man, and he hopes Felix doesn't notice how red his face is and how much he's sweating from the nerves. Felix easily taking the lead is making Dwight feel so much better about himself; he sure as hell doesn't look as elegant as Kate, but at least he hasn't stepped on Felix's toes yet, and—
“Woah!” Dwight yelps, falling forward from someone colliding with his back, his nose missing Felix's chin by just a few inches. Did someone push him?
“Careful!” Felix exclaims, helping to steady him. And then he keeps Dwight much closer to his chest than before, glancing over his shoulder to give a pointed stare to whoever the culprit was. Upon hearing Nea's and Meg's snickers, the mystery isn't that hard to solve.
Well, whether or not that was the girls’ plan, at least he gets to be closer to Felix. They dance for a bit longer, and then Kate signals something to Jeff and the music picks up, before the song ends with a final strum.
“Happy Oktoberfest!” Steve cheers.
“That's not really what you'd say—” Felix feebly starts.
“Happy Oktoberfest!” the others chime in and Felix huffs and shakes his head, and even Dwight lets out a nervous chuckle, and then to his disappointment Felix finally lets go of him.
“Happy Wiesn, mein Schatz,” Felix murmurs, barely loud enough for Dwight to hear, and his breath catches in his throat because he doesn't know what it means but it sounds so affectionate—
And then familiar smoky tendrils creep up from the ground.
“Aw shit, already?” Steve whines and Dwight shares the sentiment, glancing up at Felix.
“Thanks for the dance,” he barely has time to finish the sentence before he’s whisked away into a trial.
When Dwight gets back, some of the others seem to still be in the festive mood, forgoing the singing and dancing in favor of setting up makeshift games.
“Yeah!” Feng exclaims excitedly, having managed to knock a pile of medkits off of a log with a rock. “I told you, I’m gonna win!”
“Eh, ya just got lucky,” David shoots back. “Two outta three!”
“You’re on!” Feng, predictably, takes the bait.
On the other side of camp, Kate and some of the girls look to be making flower crowns from twigs, and Kate plucks a few flowers from her own hair to add to one, before walking over to Jake and placing it on the grumbling saboteur’s head.
A little ways off, Bill has apparently decided the occasion is special enough to warrant sharing his cigarette stack, smoking and quietly chatting with Ash and Nea, the two normally energetic loudmouths seeming to have calmed down in favor of savoring the nicotine.
Dwight smiles from taking in the sight of his friends enjoying themselves. Days like these really help to keep their spirits high and break the monotony.
He notices Felix sitting by himself away from the group, looking lost in thought, and Dwight makes his way over.
“You okay?” Dwight asks, his usual nerves absent after the nice day they’ve had.
“Yes, just… thinking,” Felix says, frowning a little.
“I’m sorry if the girls were too pushy,” Dwight says, realizing Felix might have been uncomfortable with being put on the spot, even if he seemed to take it in stride.
“No, it was fine, I…” Felix says, before pausing. “Actually, can I tell you something? In private?”
Dwight’s heart rate definitely picks up from the suggestion, no matter how much he tries to tell himself Felix doesn’t mean anything by it, at most he’s going to say he has a crush on Kate—
“S-sure,” Dwight says with a dumb, nervous smile, and starts walking into the woods with Felix not far behind.
When they reach a place Dwight knows like the back of his hand by now, a small clearing between the trees with a nice view up at the fake sky, they sit down on an old fallen tree and Felix still isn’t talking.
“Did you like the… err, festival?” Dwight asks, trying to lighten the mood.
"If I'm honest, it was probably the most fun I've had in years,” Felix says.
“I'm glad to hear that!” Dwight smiles, thrilled to hear that Felix has already experienced something fun in the hopelessness of the fog.
“And it actually made me reconsider a lot of things,” Felix adds, looking more somber.
Dwight keeps quiet, not knowing how he'd even begin to respond, instead giving Felix the space to continue.
“You should know I'm not actually who you think I am,” he finally says with a small sigh.
“W-what do you mean?” Dwight asks, anxiety bubbling up in his chest. Is Felix a spy for the Entity?
“I'm not actually this… successful businessman, and I never have been,” Felix confesses, and Dwight is relieved, if a little confused.
“So you're… not an architect?” Dwight tries to clarify.
“No, I am, I just—” Felix frowns while he searches for words. “I'm not as good at it as people think. I just pretend like I know what I'm doing, and somehow I got all this success I don't deserve.”
Dwight has never been particularly well-versed in mental health, having refused to even acknowledge his anxiety before being swept to the realm and forced to confront it. But what Felix is describing sounds a whole lot like something he heard in a talk show once, and the term ‘imposter syndrome’ flashes in his mind.
“But… that just means people like your work, even if you don't,” Dwight tries to reason.
“It's not just the work,” Felix says. “I've pretended to be good with people, that I enjoy small talk and am excited for things I didn't give two shits about. I faked everything; from the way I dress to the way I talk to being in love and—” he pauses. “Being a good father.”
Dwight knows hurting when he sees it, and Felix is clearly in pain, showing Dwight old wounds that never had the chance to heal, and he doesn't know how to help despite desperately wanting to.
“I think you're too harsh on yourself,” Dwight eventually says. “Being yourself is hard,” he says, and fuck if he doesn't know that firsthand. “And I'm sure architecture is really competitive. Nobody blames you for doing what you have to you succeed.”
“I just can't help but wonder how different my life would have been if I'd been true to myself,” Felix says, a wistful tone to his voice. “I only got where I am because of lies.”
“But… everyone lies,” Dwight tries. “As long as it’s not hurting anybody else, is it really that bad?”
“What do you mean?” Felix asks.
“Like… if you’re interviewing for a pizza place and they ask ‘where do you see yourself in five years’, you don’t say you’re only going to be working there for a few months until you find something better. You tell them you’ve always wanted to own a restaurant of your own and PizzaWhat! would be the perfect fit for you.”
“I guess…” Felix frowns.
“And it’s not just about jobs,” Dwight keeps going, not knowing why he’s suddenly talking so much, just desperate to get the doubts out of Felix’s mind. “If you’re in a new group of people and they ask about your hobbies, it’s not like anyone is gonna say that they spend every Friday night eating frozen pizza and watching Netflix romcoms and crying about how lonely they are,” he says, and Jesus, it’s so obvious he’s talking about himself and now Felix will definitely think he’s a loser—
“But wouldn’t it be so much better if we did say that?” Felix argues. “All the formalities and keeping up appearances, it’s… so fake.”
“I dunno, I usually don’t want to tell people how pathetic I am right off the bat,” Dwight jokes nervously. “But they usually figure it out soon anyway, haha.” God, why did he say ‘haha’? Why not just laugh like a normal person?
“You’re probably the most genuine person I’ve ever met,” Felix says, and heat spreads over Dwight’s cheeks because wow he just blurts stuff like that out, huh? “You at least know that people like you for you, and not a persona you put on.”
“Y-yeah, well, I guess I suck at lying,” Dwight says. “I never really thought of it as a good quality to have. I’m just really awkward, haha.” God fucking damnit, stop saying that!
“I’m a hundred times more awkward, I promise you,” Felix insists. “I didn’t even make friends until I was in in my late teens. I barely talked at all during the entirety of school, from elementary to university.”
Dwight can’t quite hide the surprise when he hears the confession; Felix always seems so effortlessly smooth, it’s kind of nice to hear that he struggled to fit in.
“I didn’t really have any friends before the Entity took me,” Dwight confesses. “Classmates and colleagues at most. I was… um, bullied a lot.” Aaand now he’s spilling his heart out; great.
“I think I was too,” Felix says, and it’s a really weird statement that makes Dwight tilt his head in confusion. “I was just so far in my own world I didn’t even notice. Maybe that made them get bored of it?”
“Yeah, a lot of the time it’s just kids looking for a reaction,” Dwight says, and his heart clenches at the painful memories of himself crying in a high school bathroom. “I was a pretty sensitive kid, probably made an easy target,” he says like he’s not still just as sensitive and prone to crying.
“Do you ever wish you could have done something different?” Felix asks.
“I—maybe,” Dwight considers. “I’ve done some really dumb things,” he says, like drug his boss ‘for a prank’, god he was so stupid— “But, uh, I think I really needed a wake-up call to change my life. Shame it’s in the form of being tortured for the amusement of a spider god,” he grimaces.
“I feel the same,” Felix says, looking up at the sky in thought. “I guess it’s only in a crisis situation that you realize what really matters. And it sure as hell isn’t the family legacy or throwing your life away for a career path,” he mutters, almost as if to himself.
“W-well, when we get out, we can change that!” Dwight says, once again trying his best to encourage a fellow survivor even if he’s long since given up on finding a way out.
“No, I think I’m starting now,” Felix says, and… starts undressing.
“Ghh,” Dwight chokes on nothing as Felix unbuttons his vest, and Jesus Christ why is he suddenly stripping—
Felix flings the vest somewhere into the woods and rolls up the sleeves of his dress shirt, even popping two of the top buttons open. He then runs a hand through his hair, ruffling the impeccable style into a messier look. When he meets Dwight’s eyes, who is still staring and probably gaping like a fish, he shrugs and smiles a little sheepishly.
“Symbolic gesture?” Felix explains. “It’s a shame the Entity only gave me one t-shirt and about twenty different suits. I never even liked suits.”
“I mean…” Dwight starts nervously, before clearing his throat. “I have a lot of clothes from over the years. If you ever want to borrow, um, sweats and a tee or something, just let me know.”
Shit, he really hasn’t thought this through. If Felix wears his clothes, Dwight’s brain is surely going to implode on itself.
“That’s very kind of you to offer—” Felix starts, prim and proper, before he seems to catch himself. “That would be great,” he corrects. “But don’t feel like you have to. It’s just clothes; I’ll survive.”
“And I’ll definitely survive without my 63rd t-shirt,” Dwight shoots back with a smile. “You wanna go pick out something now?”
“Maybe later,” Felix says, and there’s a pause, like he wants to add something, so Dwight obediently stays quiet and tries to give his most encouraging smile. “If—if I ask you something, can you promise to be honest?”
“Of course!” Dwight says, before realizing that only minutes before he wasn’t, mentioning them escaping the realm and whatnot. He doesn’t want Felix to lose hope, but he’ll tell it as it is, if he has to—
“What did you do in your spare time? Before getting here?” Felix asks instead.
Dwight grins shyly, happy that their conversation is taking a more lighthearted turn.
“Ate junk food and watched TV and moped or cried,” he confesses, like it wasn’t obvious from before. “What about you?”
“Worked way more than what was healthy,” Felix huffs. “But… I really liked playing video games,” he mumbles, and Dwight’s face splits into a grin.
“Hey, me too!” he says, thrilled to discover that Felix is a closet nerd. Who knew he could get even cuter? “I mean I suck at most, but I really like the old Zelda games. What did you play?”
“I enjoyed some RPGs, but also—ehm,” Felix says, averting his eyes. “…the Sims.”
Dwight nearly squeals.
“No way! Did you build little houses for them and everything?” he asks, smile so wide he thinks his face is going to split in half.
“Yeah, and… maybe remove a few pool ladders here and there if they got annoying,” Felix smiles bashfully.
“That’s a little morbid but still the cutest thing I’ve ever heard,” Dwight laughs, and Felix grins, eyes lighting up in a way Dwight has never seen before.
“I’ve never told anyone that before,” Felix says. “I was always so embarrassed to essentially play kids’ games.”
And damn, if that doesn’t make Dwight feel special.
“But I knew you wouldn’t judge,” Felix adds with another smile and Dwight’s heart teeters dangerously close to the line between ‘crushing’ and ‘falling in love’.
“Can—can I ask you something too?” Dwight realizes, and upon Felix’s nod, steels himself to get an answer he might not like. “Y-you called me something before, after the dance… um, what does it mean?”
Felix averts his eyes and looks embarrassed, seeming to debate with himself. Dwight realizes he could just lie and Dwight would be none the wiser, but… somehow, he doesn’t think he will, not after the conversation they just had.
“Schatz,” Felix repeats, and it sounds about right. “It was really inappropriate, I’m sorry.”
Shit, what does it mean? Was he really insulting Dwight? Maybe it’s not that bad, maybe it just means ‘awful dancer’ or something.
“’Treasure’,” Felix finally says, and Dwight swears his heart skips a beat. “I called you my treasure. And now I want to die from embarrassment,” he mumbles, face a delightful shade of pink.
“W-well it’s probably a cultural thing, right? Haha,” God-fucking-damnit— “I mean David and Kate call all of us ‘love’ and ‘hun’, it’s not that different.”
Please say it’s different please please please—
“I wish I could say that,” Felix sighs. “It’s not something you’d use for your friends. I don’t know what came over me, I shouldn’t have said it.”
“No, it’s fine,” Dwight reassures, his heart pounding in his chest because does this mean— “Do you, um. Do you still feel that way? About me?”
He steels himself for rejection, but at the same time he’s proud of himself for managing enough courage to ask.
“I—Sheiße,” Felix curses quietly. “Yes, and I don’t know what’s gotten into me, I’m sorry. I know you’ve just been trying to be friendly, and I’m much too old for you—”
“Old?” Dwight can’t help but interrupt incredulously. Felix has like, what, a maximum of ten years on him, probably closer to five? “If anything, you’re too hot for me, haha,” Dwight says and promptly feels his brain give up on its efforts to stop being awkward.
“Äh, ja… thanks?” Felix stammers, looking a little unsure. Did he expect Dwight to reject him?
“I-I mean I’ve been crushing on you since the first time you talked to me and I never thought you could be into me like that,” Dwight rambles, scrambling to piece together the reality that Felix, for some crazy reason, seems to like him back.
“I think you’re wonderful,” Felix murmurs fondly, glancing over shyly. “Despite there being nothing but death here, you’re still so full of life. You’ve made it so much easier for me, and I don’t know how to thank you.”
“You’ve thanked me plenty,” Dwight points out. “I don’t think anyone’s ever been so nice to me. The others usually yell at me when I fuck up.” Which is usually a hundred percent deserved, but he still appreciates Felix being patient with him and even complimenting him.
“I don’t understand how anyone could ever be mean to you,” Felix says, and Dwight is dangerously close to crying, but then Felix is clearing his throat and continuing. “Do you… ähm, maybe want to…?” Felix stammers, shuffling closer to him on the log, and it’s so incredibly cute Dwight’s heart melts even further.
“Please,” he says, and it comes out as a pathetic whine. Luckily Felix doesn’t seem to mind, because he’s leaning over and capturing Dwight’s lips in a soft kiss and the last of Dwight’s doubts fizzle out and die because it’s everything he’s ever wanted.
Dwight lets Felix take the lead, trying to quell the insecurities about his inexperience and just enjoy the moment. And he’s not disappointed, whimpering against the other’s lips when Felix’s mouth moves slowly against his own, a warm hand coming up to gently cup his cheek. Dwight hesitantly kisses back, not wanting to screw this up, even daring to bring his shaking hands up to tangle in Felix’s short curls and mess his hair up even further.
Dwight has never been kissed like this before. It’s always either been a quick peck, like the girl in preschool who liked him before he was a loser, or some random guy at a bar that didn’t even say a word to him before shoving a tongue down his throat.
This is so much nicer. Felix is so gentle with him, like Dwight is something precious he wants to protect, and the thought makes affection swell in his chest and he leans even closer into Felix.
And when Felix eventually pulls away, just enough to look deep into his eyes and murmur that he’s wonderful, Dwight can’t stop the tears from finally spilling free as a happy smile spreads over his lips.