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Ocean waves crashed against the large tourist boat, rocking it back and forth. Winter was always rough out in sea, storms and rocky waters more apparent. It was also the middle of January, so hopefully it can only get better from there. As it was winter, that meant less tourists came by boat, let alone to a small, tropical island. It wasn’t worth hours of a rocky, cold boat trip.
But for Killua, it was.
A few days prior, Alluka actually came up with the idea to visit Whale Island, as she's never been, and it would be a chance to catch up with an old friend.
Killua froze. An old friend. He was unaware his sister was looking at him with a knowing grin.
“Well, why not? I know you miss Gon,” She said with an encouraging tone, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Plus, I’ve wanted to see his homeland!”
This was partially true, but she also didn’t want to mention that she’s noticed Killua seemed inconsolable lately. It had been over two years since they’ve been on their own, and that he’s last seen Gon. Expectedly, they’ve texted, called, and even had video chats, but it was never the same. She couldn’t help but be to blame, but Killua has reassured her multiple times that that wasn’t the case. He’d even agreed it was good they’ve time apart, as he’s been with him for years prior.
He never went into too much detail, but Alluka sensed that he had been overly attached to him when they were together. Even when Gon was being selfish at the end, he still wanted to stay by his side. Of course, it’d only be natural when Gon’s been his first long-term friend, but there’s also a barrier between healthy and unhealthy. He was afraid he was crossing that barrier.
Looking up, Killua nodded with a reminiscing smile. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
~
“Brother! Look!” Alluka yelled, pointing to the distant island silhouette, other hand gripping the rail as she leaned over.
Killua was a couple of feet next to her, unphased by her volume. Looking towards her direction, suddenly his stomach dropped. He began to think about the first time he arrived here with Gon. He remembered how green everything was, the town and the forest alike. The air was clean, flowers were nearly everywhere you turned, there were tons of natural sightings. He even remembered that one cliff Gon took him fishing on.
He felt at peace. No, he felt like he was home. He couldn’t wait to step foot on the island again, to see aunt Mito and her grandmother, to see Gon again. His heartbeat increased as he thought about Gon, soon his tranquility replaced by anxiety. He was going to see Gon again, after years apart. Why was he so nervous? They've talked countless of times over phone. Seeing him in person made him excited, but also afraid of how much he'd actually change.
He didn’t notice he was breathing heavily until Alluka placed her hand on top of his. She gave him a reassuring smile, squeezing his hand.
“It’s going to be okay. He misses you as much as you miss him,” Alluka always seemed to know the right thing to say. Killua placed his other hand on top of hers, his breathing normal.
“Yeah, you’re right,” he said with a smile, more at ease. “He’s probably been waiting at the docks, in this cold, like an idiot.”
~
There wasn’t a storm, but it was windy and nearly freezing. They both were bundled up in winter-style clothing, as the mainland they boarded the ship from was covered in snow. Surely, it’ll be warmer on the island since the weather hardly changes with the seasons, but it’ll still be cold.
Earlier this morning, Killua had texted Gon that they would surprise him by visiting the island. He contemplated on just surprising him when they actually got there, but Alluka convinced him to tell him beforehand. She claimed that it wouldn’t be fair for Gon or Mito to suddenly cater to them if they show up unannounced. Killua knew that it didn’t matter either way, because they’d always be welcome, but he complied anyway.
Gon responded within an hour, which was unusual, as he wasn’t great with technology. He’d eagerly responded with excitement, which was expected, and that he said it was okay for them to stay as long as they wanted. Okay, that was probably an exaggeration on his part, but Mito was willing to have them over for a while if needed to do so. She was glad Gon’s friends would be coming over to visit, but wanted to make sure that he’d have done every chore before they arrived.
Gon obliged with zero complaints, attending to get every chore done as fast and efficiently as possible. It wasn’t hard, as he’s done these chores since he could walk, and it helped give him something to do while he waited. As soon as he finished his last chore, he began dashing out the door before his aunt could stop him.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Mito asked, a laundry basket in her arm as she gripped the end of his white tank with her other hand. “It’s cold out, please wear a jacket.”
“But I won’t get cold!” Gon whined, still going back upstairs to obtain one. It was pointless to argue with his aunt about this kind of thing. Hell, he felt lucky he still had her to care for him, after all these years. “Okay, jacket! Can I go?”
“I thought their ship didn’t arrive until a couple hours from now?” She interrogated with a knowing grin.
“I know! But I still want to be down there to greet them! And also maybe plan out some stuff before they do!” Gon admitted, hoping she wouldn’t press any further.
“Oh, alright. Just be careful. Be sure to bring them back here as soon as they get here! I’ll have a warm meal ready.”
Gon grunted approvingly, waving goodbye as he jogged out the door and shut it behind him. He was ecstatic, he couldn’t wait to see his best friend again after years. He also wanted to know Alluka better, as he felt he rarely got to spend time with her last time he’d seen her. She was younger, and a lot shyer then, and didn’t really speak as much to him as she did to her brother, which was reasonable. However, whenever he'd video chat with Killua, she'd gradually warm up and chatted along with them. He remembered even seeing Nanika for the first time, which he enjoyed her company.
Flowers! I should show her our native flowers! Hopefully Nanika would also like them.. He thought with a smile, as his mind slowly drifted to Killua.
Killua.
He always loved saying his name, as he made it prominent to do so every time he’d talk to him or about him. Killua never seemed to notice, as he's never asked him about that, and Gon was grateful about that. Probably assumed it was another one of his weird tactics. He began thinking about his sparkling blue eyes, his soft, white hair, his porcelain skin, his—
Gon blushed, going to roughly pat his cheeks repeatedly until they stung. He needed to focus, figure out a plan for today, and then go down into the town to meet up with the Zoldycks.
~
The boat had met the dock, the bridge between the two connecting as the anchor dropped and ropes attached. Alluka rushed off the ship with her suitcase, as Killua followed shortly behind her. It wasn’t hard, as there weren't a lot of people on board to begin with. He looked around his environment, seeing everything still as vibrant as when he first visited, despite it being the middle of winter. Exhaling in relief, he looked ahead as he stepped on the main island grounds, stopping in his tracks.
He saw Alluka with Gon, who were already talking. She looked over at him, which caused him to do the same, and frantically waved at him with the biggest smile. His heart was caught in his mouth, almost not believing he was actually in front of him. Instinctively, he began running towards them, tearing up. As soon as he got within a few feet, he stopped, examining his face, seeing that he had tears streaming down his face.
“Killua,” he breathed, stepping in as he gently pulled him into an embrace.
Hearing his name made his spine shiver. Myriad of thoughts ran through his mind, as he stood there awkwardly, processing what was happening. His breathing grew heavier, as he started shedding his own tears. He hugged back tightly, embracing the nostalgic warmth he’d gone years without. He had missed it, a lot more than he'd care to admit.
“I missed you,” Gon whispered, in disbelief. “So much.”
Gon was glad he still mostly smelled the same as he did years ago. The fact he was still taller didn’t satisfy him so much, even though both of them had grown a few inches since last time.
“Idiot,” Killua croaked, aggressively wiping away tears on his sleeve. “I missed you, too.”
Gon beamed at his words, finally releasing him as he wiped his own tears with the back of his hand. Killua bit his lower lip subtly, disappointed they'd broken off, gripping the straps of his backpack. Alluka found their reunion touching, but felt almost like she was third-wheeling as she watched them hug. She refrained from elbowing Killua, not sure if it would give off the "wrong" message.
“Oh! Aunt Mito wanted me to tell you that she’s made lunch, and to bring you back to my place!” Gon remembered, running off without any other words. They briefly glanced at each other before running after him.
At one point, uphill, Alluka yelled at them to slow down, as she didn’t know where to go unlike the other two. Plus, she didn't have the same super speed they both had. They both apologized, slowing down and they walked the rest of the way. Upon reaching the house, Mito was already at the front, waving to them.
“Lunch is almost ready. Gon, would you kindly show your friends where they’ll be staying?” She ordered, patting his head.
“Hey, Aunt Mito,” Killua greeted, which still felt funny to say. Even though he’s met her in person one other time, she really felt like a motherly figure to him, and he loved her.
She pulled him in for a hug. “Don’t act shy, you know you’re always welcome.”
He nodded and smiled down at her, as he grew taller since last time he saw her. He hugged her back, noticing how her warmth was similar to Gon's, comforted. They let go, as Mito looked over to Alluka, who looked a bit on edge. She had never been around a motherly figure who’d been kind and warm; she didn’t know what to expect. She’d briefly talked to her once, over a video chat when Killua mentioned her.
“You must be Alluka? It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” she smiled warmly, embracing her as she awkwardly stood there. They were around the same height, but it was likely that Alluka would grow taller in the future. She was released, giving her a small smile as she fiddled with a lock of her hair.
“Like I've told your brother, you’re always welcome in this home,” she reassured, guiding her inside. “Please don’t hesitate to ever talk to me if you ever need anything.”
The tension in her body left, as she nodded and thanked her. She understood why Killua had some attachment towards her, Gon was lucky to be raised as someone as kind as her. Killua smiled, nodding at her as if to reassure that they're in good hands.
Gon took her suitcase, motioning both of them to follow him. He showed Alluka the guest room, where she’d be staying, which was a cute, pink and blue seashell theme. He told her that Mito personally decorated it for her, even though she had learnt today that they'd be staying over. Alluka felt overwhelmed by the hospitality, quickly wiping away a tear that escaped the corner of her eye. There was only one bathroom in the hallway, which made Alluka dread the mornings she was going to have. However, she was still grateful for her own room, as she had grown out of sharing a room with her brother, and desired to have her own space. Killua pretended to be hurt, but also understood she was getting older and didn't want to solely depend on him anymore.
Killua was still in Gon’s room, as he wanted to change into something a little less restrictive. Gon previously mentioned that they’d be sharing the same room, and he’d asked if he’d prefer an extra futon to sleep on. He said he didn’t really care, thus Gon made the conclusion that they could share the same bed. Outside, Killua acted nonchalantly, completely fine with the idea. When Gon excused himself to use the bathroom, he visibly panicked.
You’re sleeping in the same bed with Gon, not that big a deal. He tried convincing himself, but his cheek grew red. You've done it before! When we were twelve..
He groaned loudly as he put on a thin, long sleeved black shirt, trying to shake out the thoughts. Burying his face into a pillow, he wailed out in frustration, trying to get everything out. Don’t make things weird! He probably doesn’t like you that way!
He froze, depressed at the possibility.
Yeah. There’s no way.
He thought about their reunion from not even an hour ago—they hugged. He couldn’t really recall a time they’ve hugged before. It wasn’t as if he didn’t ever want one, but he didn’t know how to approach for one with him. Wrapping his arms around himself, he found himself craving that warmth and affection he felt from their embrace, and never wanted to let that go. He was still abnormally warm, even during winter, which he never understood. Not even just physically, as he's always mainly felt two different types within his aura: the pleasant warmth and also the scorching hot whenever he was upset.
However, before he was hospitalized all those years ago, his aura was cold, something Killua never felt from him prior. Of course, Gon had gone through a lot, partaking in a war against Meureum and his royal guards, blaming himself for the death of Kite, and even going as far as to kill the one who’d committed that murder—along with sacrificing himself. Not only that, but he was cold towards everyone else, including Killua. He'd realized he was that way because he didn't want to lose anyone else. That'd he'd kill himself if it meant everyone else he cared about was safe.
The idea angered and terrified Killua, and would sometimes get nightmares about that whole event. Sometimes with detailed memory about how he was affected by his actions, or about alternative decisions he could have made. The worst variation was when he’d dreamt about what would have happened if he hadn’t arrived to save him in time. Alluka would always be there for him whenever he’d gain these flashbacks, but never pushed him to talk about it. She believed it would have stressed him out even more, and she hated seeing her brother in pain.
Gon had apologized, genuinely devastated he put his best friend through that pain. The other had casually brushed it off, saying he forgave him. It was true, he did forgive him, but he simply didn’t want to rethink about these traumatic events. It was also a partial reason to why he split up, even though his heart begged for him to stay. Sometimes, he regrets not having a more in depth, heartfelt conversation about it with him before they left.
Maybe in the future. He sighs, walking out the room to check with Alluka. He didn't want to ever have that conversation, despite it being inevitable.
Meeting with both his friend and sister, they headed downstairs for lunch. Gon rushed over to help his aunt with the food and dishes, and Killua shortly followed him to do the same.
“Oh!” Gon realized something, as he set down bowls on the table. He gestured towards an older woman who was sitting in one of the chairs. “Alluka! This is my great-grandmother, who I also see as a mom.”
Alluka waved and smiled at her, watching she slowly put out her hand. She put out her hand, as another was placed on top of hers. Her hand was wrinkled, but somehow soft and warm.
“You must be Killua’s younger sister, Alluka,” She said in a frail, warm tone. “Gon’s told me a bit about you, but he’s never mentioned how beautiful you were.”
Alluka blushed, a mixture of bewilderment and delight. It wasn’t often she paid attention to compliments of the sort, as they never meant anything to her. Her brother had always been by her side to protect her, which she had been thankful for. She thanked her sheepishly, grabbing a lock of her hair with her other hand. She'd always play with her hair as a habit whenever she got nervous.
However, she actually appreciated it, knowing she could trust the old woman. It was nice.
The grandmother leaned in, prompting Alluka to slightly crouch down so her ear met closer to her mouth.
“But between you and me?” She glanced at Gon, who was half paying attention to her while also setting the rest of the dishes. “He’s talked an awful lot about Killua. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s i—”
“Gram!” Gon whined, his face red. He darted his eyes to see if Killua was within ear-shot, sighing once realizing he was still in the kitchen with Mito.
Alluka giggled, unsurprised. Killua was similar; he talked about Gon constantly, both about their past adventures and longing to see him again. She'd suspected there were some unrequited feelings before Killua officially came clean about them. In fact, she helped him find the right words when he was confessed to her.
‘How did you know?’ Killua asked, face scarlet and flabbergasted.
‘Uh, because it’s painfully obvious? You constantly talking about him means nothing, right?’ She mockingly shot back, poking teasingly at his reddened cheek. ‘You’re lucky Gon is as clueless as he is, or he would have realized a long time ago.’
He grumbled, slapping away her finger and crossed his arms like a pouty child. He hated that she could read through him like an open book. ‘Whatever. It’s not like he’d feel the same, anyway..’
‘I wouldn't be so sure, you guys were extremely close,' Alluka reminded him, cocking an eyebrow with a matching smile. ‘It wouldn’t be surprising if he felt the same way.’
Killua scoffed at that, neither confirming or denying the possibility.
Now that it was confirmed Gon felt the same, she can devise a plan for them to possibly talk alone and confess their feelings. Even though she only met Gon’s caretakers today, maybe they could assist her? If his great-grandmother knew, then it was likely that Mito knew as well, which made things easier.
Soon enough, Mito and Killua came in with food, and since it was cold, she decided to make onion soup, using the ingredients from the garden outside. She had also prepared bread rolls, as they were fresh out the oven, which Killua carried the tray. After saying their thanks, they ate and chatted amongst themselves, mostly about the Zoldyck’s and their expeditions. They’ve been to brand new places, but also older places that both Gon and Killua visited prior, even if for brief stops. Neither Mito or her grandma asked about their old family or house, which Killua assumed that Gon had asked them not to beforehand. It could also be because Mito herself sensed that he had come from a toxic home, and immediately wanted to protect him as she had always with Gon. Either way, Killua was grateful, as he never really wanted to think about his old life ever again.
Mito was the first person who wasn’t Alluka that he’d hug, the first adult he’s felt truly safe with. Of course, he trusted and cared about Leorio, Kurapika, Bisky, along with other adults he's been allies with, but that's all they've been at that point. Allies. His aunt wasn't anything like an ally, she didn't serve any other purpose other than to be a mother, to be a caring, protective person, to give out unconditional love. That feeling was foreign and scary, but he was comforted and knew he could trust her and look up to her as a mother. She did raise Gon, after all.
Long after finishing their meals, Gon suddenly got up with his bowl, letting his aunt know that they were gonna head out. Both the siblings stood and followed after, as they placed their dishes neatly in the sink.
Feeling obligated, Killua suggested to do the dishes once they got back, which both Gon and Mito quickly shot down his offer. Mito insisted she’d do them, and that they all should enjoy their first day outside. He was unsatisfied, but decided not to push the matter and thanked her. He figured he could do them any other time, as it was the least he could do for her.
Alluka paused in her tracks as they passed the front door, which made the two boys pause with her.
“Oh! Um, sorry, but I have to use the bathroom,” Alluka claimed, hoping her lie didn’t slip through.
Neither of them suspected anything, to her relief.
“No problem! We’ll be out in the garden when you’re done!” Gon beamed, giving her a thumbs up.
She smiled back meekly, watching as they were distant enough before going back inside. She wanted to find Mito and let her in on her plan.
Not even ten minutes later, Alluka appeared outside, seeing that they were in the garden like Gon said. After confirming that they were set, they all went off, the Zoldyck's curious about what Gon had planned for them to do.
~
The sun was beginning to set, as the clouds slowly started dispersing, revealing the sky as it turned orange. It was still as cold as it was this morning, and Killua was uncontrollably shivering throughout the whole day. He regretted changing, and almost regretted taking Gon’s offer on holding hands. His hand was warm despite not wearing gloves, which left him to question whether he was actually human. It was like he had the opposite of anemia. He wouldn’t admit that doing so made him feel slightly warmer, and blamed his red face on the cold.
They had taken the longer, scenic route towards town, which took about over an hour. The dense forest didn’t really make the environment less frigid, but the hiking and exercise warmed up their bodies. Neither had complained, as they enjoyed being in the green forest that survived year-round. Once arriving at town, they had spent hours within the small town, and even went to an authentic restaurant for dinner.
After they had finished their entrees, Killua suggested they’d get dessert, as he almost always had a sweet tooth, which Gon happily agreed to.
“Actually, I can’t,” Alluka said, struggling to find the words. “You two go on ahead, I think I want to go back to the house before it gets too dark. Maybe have aunt Mito do my hair.”
Gon cocked his head to the side, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, are you sure? We can all just go back home, then.”
“No!” She put out both her hands defensively. Clearing her throat, she eased up. “I mean, don't let me stop you two! You guys deserve quality time together. After this, I’ll barely leave your sides before we leave, so take advantage of this!"
“Plus, I know my way back. I’ll be fine!” She chuckled nervously, raising an arm as she sprinted the opposite direction before they could say anything else, leaving the two confused teens in her hypothetical dust. They stood there, watching as she grew distant.
They looked at each other, the tension growing more unbearably awkward. Killua considered running after her, to stop and question her motives, but he had a feeling he already knew the answer. He hated her for this moment, but he also felt like he owed her for this. If things go well, that is.
“Okay, well, did you still wanna get dessert?” Gon asked, acting if nothing had happened. He took his hand, causing the pale teen to blush as he looked at the ground. He nodded, letting him drag him off to a near bakery shop.
“Ah! I wanted to show you something after!” He exclaimed, looking back at him and smiling brightly. He was a little close for Killua’s comfort, but he didn’t want to push him away. “Only if you’re up for it.”
“Y-Yeah, sure.” he mumbled, attempting to make eye contact. His eyes sparkled at his response, making Killua silently inhale in awe, his breath visible.
Gon was secretly ecstatic about how things were going. He wasn’t sure why Alluka suddenly wanted to leave, but it was all the more convenient for his idea. Admittedly, he wasn't sure when he'd had the time to pull this off, but he was glad that the universe given him the opportunity to do so. They found the local bakery shop, as he ordered him a slice of chocolate cake and hot tea for both of them. Killua conplained when Gon immediately paid before he'd have a chance, but he brushed him off, saying he was the guest. His stubbornness wouldn't allow for him to pay for anything as long as he was staying, and he wanted to treat him. He didn’t particularly care for sweets, but he knew it made his friend happy, particularly having chocolate related desserts. He always found it cute that his best friend, having the skills of a top-elite assassin, also had a weakness for chocolate. He asked Killua to find a spot outside while he'd waited on their orders.
He was ninety nine percent sure that it was to be a clear night, as the clouds had gradually disappeared. He also knew it would be a full moon, and due to lack of light pollution on his island, more stars always showed. It was moments like those he was thankful to have grown up on an island with a small population. He'd occasionally seen how Killua shined brightly underneath the starry sky, how his eyes would sparkle within their reflection. The thought made him warm inside, relishing in it. It wasn’t until his name was called twice that he snapped back into reality, retrieving his orders.
They sat outside and chatted on mindless things. Gon told him he’d been thinking about going to school, wanting to either work in a biological field or to even be a teacher, like the one they both previously had. He wasn’t quite sure yet, which didn’t surprise Killua, as he was never “set” with most of his goals. Or, more accurately, his goals often changed due to outside factors out of his control.
Killua was honest with both himself and Gon; he didn’t know what he wanted to do in the future. Growing up, he was raised to be one of the world’s best assassins, but he eventually resented that. His family had tried manipulating him into coming back, but ultimately he was able to leave. Multiple times. He couldn’t have done it the second time without Gon, and he was even more grateful to get Alluka out of that situation when he went back the third time.
He’s always stuck with Gon ever since he came back for him, set on following him until he’d find his dad. For a while, he dreaded that day, but felt indifferent when it actually did. Things were different at that point. They had recently got out of a war, he saved Alluka and Gon, and he met his dad during the elections. He wanted so badly to continue to be with Gon, but he owed it to Alluka to stay with her, to make up for lost times. And he doesn’t regret his decisions. His friend acknowledges that and doesn't hold a grudge against him, as he probably would have done the same in his shoes.
Eventually, they finished, and Gon gently took his hand again, leading them out of town and into the forest. For a moment, Killua was convinced they were going back to the house, until Gon made another turn that diverted from the main path. He flashed a grin at him, before picking up the pace. Killua had no trouble keeping up, as he was most likely faster than him, but stayed behind since he was unfamiliar with this particular area. They ran for a few minutes until Gon came to a sudden halt, throwing Killua off guard and tripping, before he was caught.
“Hehe, sorry,” Gon smiled apologetically, pushing against his arms to make him stand steady. “But we’re here!”
Backing away slightly, he looked ahead, seeing a small, secluded beach. The white sand glistened under the night sky, as the sun completely set at this point. There weren’t a whole ton of stars yet, but the full moon was shining bright. Killua couldn’t recall this place, as he slowly walked onto the beach, smelling the ocean that the wind carried. It was a lot colder then it had been in town. Despite shivering, he felt at peace.
Gon followed, removing his shoes and socks, feeling the cool sand underneath. He didn’t mind it, as he never seemed to get cold, only ever on rare occasions. Killua had mocked him earlier for wearing a tank top underneath his think jacket, surprised that he hadn't froze to death. He told him as long as it didn't snow, he was used to the chilly winters of his island and got away wearing thinner clothing, excluding his forest green sweat pants. Of course, it never snows here, since it's a tropical island.
He walked up next to Killua, sitting down in front of the lining where the ocean waves met on the shore. Killua followed suit, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping around them. They were merely a few inches apart, as they both enjoyed the view of the horizon between the ocean and sky.
"This is one of my favorite places," Gon said after a little while, still looking up. "I come here whenever I'm upset or lonely."
Killua only nodded, glancing over as he saw the moonlight reflect his tanned, freckled skin. The time of day, the right place, it all seemed perfect to him. Killua relished in the reality he got to see him in such a state.
"It's beautiful," he murmured, eyes still on him. He didn't realize he'd said it out loud until Gon finally looked over at him, his cheeks tinted in crimson.
Killua mentally slapped himself, his own blush forming as he quickly turned his head away. Dumbass! Why would you say that?
"Hey, Killua.." Gon prompted, sliding his hand closer towards him. "I didn't bring you here just to admire the sky."
He was convinced steam was coming through his ears, feeling his face grow hotter. It almost seemed as he was confessing something. He was almost afraid to look at him; he was in denial about what was happening.
He swallowed, his heart pounding, and turned to look back at him. Immediately, Gon's breath was taken away at the sight of him, as they stared at each other's eyes for what seemed like hours.
"Killua," he tried again, betrayed by his shaking voice. "You are someone who means a lot to me. You've been there at my best, at my worst, and in between. Everyday, I think about how grateful I am that I got to meet you, and I'd gladly do so again a thousand times over."
He placed his hand on top of his, feeling how cold he was. Killua relaxed a bit, bringing his legs down midway, their fingers interlocking. He opened his mouth to speak, but Gon continued.
"The time we've spent apart has made me realize a lot of things. For instance, I feel like I never gave you a proper apology.." he trailed off, looking down.
"Apology...for what?" Killua was confused.
"From before we split. When I was fighting Pitou, for what I said to you. What I've done to you."
He blinked, still as perplexed. Killua had not been expecting this, but something inside of him was about to burst.
"You.." He tightened his grip, then releasing him as he cackled, palming his forehead. "You idiot, I already forgave you for all that! Yeah, at the time, it did hurt, but I also know it wasn't entirely your fault."
Gon was unconvinced, frowning at him as he attempted to reach back for him. Killua put up a hand, stopping any of his advances.
"You were a kid. We were kids, Gon. You were selfish, you were self-destructive, and you went about your plans in the most dangerous, idiotic way! Without me! What you were doing scared me, but the most important thing to me was not losing you." Killua couldn't stop his rampant, his voice growing more agitated and hoarse. He felt tears stream down his cheeks, which made him more angry. "I didn't want to lose my best friend, someone I trusted, someone I love!"
Silence washed over after that sentence, and the white-haired teen avoided eye contact, panicking. The crashing and receding of the waves filled in the empty sound. He shut his eyes in attempt to prevent more tears from falling, but a few managed to escape. Grasping chunks of his hair, he cursed out in frustration. This wasn't how things were supposed to go. He needed to leave now, leave the island, take Alluka with him and--
"Killua.."
"No!" he breathed sharply, slapping away an approaching arm and slowly stood up. "Please. I've ruined enough. Let me leave and--"
Gon grabbed his wrist, tears in his own eyes, stopping him. They were both standing, Killua refusing to face him. He struggled to break him off, but Gon had more strength than he did right now. Sniffling, he gave up, fully realizing the inevitable had come.
"I...I've always loved you," Killua quietly said, his face wet with hot tears as he lazily wiped some off with his sleeve. "For years, I've loved you. And I don't think I'll ever not."
Gon's heart burst with relief, pulling him closer and urging him to turn around. He gently cupped his face, wiping away the tears with his thumbs, and Killua felt strangely euphoric in his nurturing touch.
"I may not have known what's on your mind," he chuckled, still holding him as he stepped even closer, placing their foreheads together. "But knowing this? Someone who's so cool and amazing in every way--feeling the same way? Knowing that you love me as much as I love you?"
Killua's eyes widened in disbelief. This was really happening. His years spent of pining and longing to be with him forever--it was all coming together. He was here, touching him, something he's secretly craved for as long as he could remember. He brought his shaky arms over his neck, leaning in to kiss him, not caring as more tears rolled down his cheek. They were tears of happiness, which was first time he's ever done that. Gon kissed him back just as passionately, can't help it but smile. He also had tears, ignoring them as he gently held him, stroking his wet cheeks. All this time, they both had felt this way, and it was only now that it's been resolved.
Eventually, they broke off, gasping and smiling at each other. The surrounding air grew warmer due to their breaths and close contact.
Gon suddenly giggled, as he hugged him for the second time that day. Killua immediately hugged back, not bothering to question, as he wanted to live in this moment forever. He's always wanted to feel this entire warmth, their bodies close in contact. It was as amazing as he'd imagine it, tightening his embrace.
"I love you," Gon mumbled into the side of his neck, enjoying his scent. It gave him comfort, and now felt selfish about wanting it all to himself. Though, he honestly couldn't care less, as they were officially each other's. He looked up, surprising him with a chaste kiss. "I love you, forever and ever."
Killua's face was red again, chuckling at his statement. He placed a hand on top of his head, sneering at him and he fluffed up his hair. "You sound like you're five."
"It's true!" He whined, stretching out the last syllable. Proving his point, he stuck his tongue at him, to which Killua playfully flicked his forehead.
He wailed again, receiving a sly grin and a kiss over the same area. Gon then pulled away, still holding both of his hands.
"Did you wanna go back, or do you wanna stay here a little longer?"
The taller teen hummed. He wasn't so sure he was ready to be bombarded with invasive questions by a certain nosy sister so soon. Plus, it wasn't even seven yet, they surely had time.
"We can stay? Looking at the stars with you doesn't seem so bad," he teased, admiring his pouty face.
"Hush! You love the idea, as much as you love me!" Gon grinned, squishing both his cheeks.
Killua rolled his eyes, a small smile creeping onto his face. "Yeah, you're right."
~
Later that evening, the newly announced couple were on Gon's bed. Killua's was head on Gon's chest, resting dully while he stroked his hair.
Earlier, when arrive back home, Alluka greeted them with a smug expression. Killua glared at her, fully convinced she was scheming. She shrugged, only responding with an innocuous grin, before asking about their night. Gon, unaware of anything, happily explained everything, pridefully squeezing Killua's hand. He rolled his eyes, waving off his excitement to appear calm. Once he saw his aunt enter the room, he rushed over to her, sharing her the news. Killua didn't mind, as they've previously talked about it before they returned.
'I knew this day would come!' Alluka cheered, genuinely happy for the two. Killua smiled back at her, pulling her in for a hug, to which Gon shortly joined. They no longer cared about her previous involvements.
It was nearly midnight, and they've been in this laying position for a while now, neither of them wanting to move. They were clean, as they took turns in the bathroom, but both of them still lingered the scent of the ocean and salt. Gon felt deeply complacent, as if he'd finally achieved a long-term goal. It was almost like finding Ging for the first time, but this was more awarding. He'd had gotten to know Killua a lot more than his own father, who turned out to be somewhat of a disappointment. He couldn't help but chuckle at how ironic everything was, how his friend stayed to help him find the man he'd idolized for so long, only to fall for him.
And unlike Ging, Killua actually cared and loved him, and he didn't want to let him go. He sighed contentedly, his hand still on his soft, white hair. He watched his slow breathing, knowing he'd had fallen asleep not too long ago. Tiredness began washing over his body, and he stifled a yawn.
"I'm never letting you go," he whispered, lightly tracing his face. He felt him stir a bit, before Killua slightly adjusted his head and held him tighter.
January 16--no, 17th. Gon thought, now finding it hard to keep his eyes open. He adjusted his thick green blanket to drape only over Killua, as he was overheated as it was. Pressing a kiss to his head, he let sleep overcome him. They both would have a good night's sleep, something that was rare between the two.
This marks the most important day.