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Soobin hates his new hobby.
Sure, ever since he’s been bitten by a radioactive spider back in Jeju, he’s become basically superhuman. His former clumsiness is all but gone, and he’s a lot stronger. Vigilantism during his free hours means he tones up too, but that also means he has to eat a lot more than he usually does, and his wallet is stressed out (it’s not like anonymously fighting crime pays well, or at all, really). Being able to keep his little square of Seoul safe, or being able to “hero up”, as Yeonjun often says, isn’t something he wants to give up now that he knows he’s capable.
It’s the secrets he doesn’t like.
It’s sneaking into his own apartment that he doesn’t like.
It’s the misunderstandings that pile on top of each other that he doesn’t like.
It’s the way Kai tries his best to hide his hurt every time Soobin has to turn down an invitation to hang out that he doesn’t like. No, he hates.
The first few times it’d been easier. He’s studying. He has to work on a project. He already made plans to hang out with other people. But he quickly runs out of excuses because he’d always been in the habit of choosing Kai over everyone, everything else, so when he stops doing that, the disparity stings.
When he stumbles into the living room, tired and a little bruised from that night’s patrol, it hurts when Kai hesitates before patting the space next to him on the couch. Soobin drops his duffel with the suit and curls up against his roommate.
“Hyungie, you’re back…” He trails off as he stares at Soobin, completely frozen.
“Is something wrong?” Soobin asks with a frown.
Kai suddenly lights up. “Soobinie, you should have just told me you’re dating someone!” Soobin furrows his brows, but Kai continues, elbowing him conspiratorially. “You know you can just tell me to leave the apartment when you need alone time.”
“What are you talking about?”
Kai hits him playfully on the shoulder. “Your neck hyungie,” and he pretends to be scandalized for a minute, all drama and proud tears about how far Soobin has come ever since he messed up his first kiss with Yeji during prom night (how could he not mess up when Kai had been watching? Yeji didn’t even like guys, she just needed someone to appease her parents).
“My neck—oh.” Soobin winces as he feels a bruise forming from where he’d been caught in a chokehold.
“So who’s the lucky person?” Kai teases as he rubs Soobin’s stomach, and Soobin wishes he could say “you.”
He hates this.
Instead, he has to shrug and say, “We’re not serious.” Because protecting Kai Kamal Huening, the person most dear to him, is infinitely times more important than his pathetic love life. He quickly changes the subject, not wanting to hear any more earnest congratulations from Kai, his heart aching in disappointment. “Why are you up so late anyway?”
Kai rubs at his eyes. “Couldn’t sleep.” He looks like he’s about to pass out though, and Soobin lets himself be selfish and leans Kai’s head onto his shoulder. He reaches for the blanket on the end of the couch and spreads it over them. Kai giggles, the sound softened by exhaustion and fleece. “Haven’t slept together with you in forever.”
“I’m sorry,” Soobin says finally, but Kai has already fallen asleep. Soobin wants to trace the curve of his cheek, the way the moon dapples across it, the arch of his nose and the line of his brows, his long, long lashes and the bow of his lips.
Kai is delicate in sleep and always has been since they were younger. His sleeping face has not changed.
He waits a few more minutes to make sure Kai really is asleep, wasting none of them as he drinks up Kai’s presence. With a sigh, he bundles Kai up in his arms, blanket included, and carries him to bed. He tries not to loiter, closing Kai’s door before pressing his forehead against it.
How many times does he have to convince himself that it’s worth it? That everything is for the greater good?
He owes a lot to Yeonjun and Taehyun. Even though they had found out by accident (or rather Taehyun had figured him out not even two weeks in while Yeonjun had literally stumbled upon him with his mask off in an alleyway), they seem to be even more committed to keeping his identity secret than he was sometimes. Thank god Taehyun’s a genius and keeps his apartment with Yeonjun and Beomgyu equipped to the teeth with alarms and safety measures, otherwise Soobin would be more worried about the danger they were in. The less people knew, the better, Taehyun had explained, because any one of them could be used as a bargaining chip against him. Friends and family are always the first ones targeted.
(Soobin had Taehyun covertly equip Kai’s room as well, in his paranoia.)
He couldn’t have asked for two better partners. Taehyun practices boxing and judo with him on top of making all of the gadgets he uses, while Yeonjun designed the suit he was wearing now. The suit is a far cry from the amateur jerry rig he had started out with, though they kept the design of his web shooters. On top of it all, they cover for him when necessary and they’re his much needed and appreciated emotional supports, though they don’t quite fill up the gap left by Kai.
Speaking of him. “He thinks I’m dating someone,” Soobin groans into his hands. Yeonjun barks out a laugh.
“And you let him,” Taehyun says, eyeing the bruise on his neck. He knows him too well.
“What else could I have done?” Soobin asks, not even having the energy to mock himself.
“How did he react?” Yeonjun asks carefully. The look on Soobin’s face says everything, and the blond’s expression softens as he wraps an arm around his shoulder. “Shit, I’m sorry.”
“I wish I had a chance with him.”
Soobin misses Taehyun’s look of consideration.
Soobin has his earpiece on most of the time. Taehyun says he needs to keep a healthy work-life balance, so Soobin turns it off when he needs to concentrate in class and during the few shifts he has left working at the library, always feeling anxious when he does. Made by Taehyun, it can connect to the encrypted frequencies of the local police departments, though the one he usually monitors is the emergency comm center to stay one step ahead and hear the calls for help as they come in. Soobin doesn’t want to ask Taehyun where his contacts come from, but they’re insanely helpful, since by the time the police arrive, the web-bound suspects are usually left waiting to be picked up.
Sometimes Soobin gets a feeling that something’s going to happen though, and Yeonjun had jokingly dubbed it as the “spidey sense”. That’s exactly what he feels right now as he’s walking home from class. His earpiece doesn’t pick up anything high impact occurring in the city, but Soobin dives in an alley anyway. Suiting up is much easier now that Yeonjun’s modified it, and it’s only seconds before he’s on rooftops, trying to pinpoint why his heart is pounding.
Then there’s a scream that makes Soobin’s blood run cold, because he can recognize Kai’s voice from anywhere. He zeroes in on the source like his life depends on it—in a way, it does—and when he drops down into the barely used pathway behind an arcade, he doesn’t expect Kai to run right into him, knocking the phone out of his hand. Soobin sees the numbers 112 on the screen when he catches it. He ends the call before giving it back.
“Are you okay?” Soobin asks urgently, flinching back when he realizes he’s about to hug him.
“Yeah, he just tried to mug me.” Kai’s voice is the odd calm that Soobin has discovered comes from being shocked sometimes, and there’s nothing more he wants to do than to gather Kai up in his arms with a blanket. Soobin’s eyes flicker to the bent over figure of a man about twelve feet from them, and he engages the net setting on his webs just for good measure.
“He seems to be taken care of—” Soobin grits his teeth when he sees the knife glinting on the ground and hurriedly turns to check Kai for injuries. “Shit, he had a knife?”
“Y-Yeah, I’m fine though,” Kai says bashfully, “luckily my friend taught me some self-defense.”
That would be Taehyun.
“Thank your friend for me,” Soobin says as impartially as he can manage. “You were very brave today…”
Kai ducks his head and mumbles his name shyly. “Thank you, Spider-Man.”
“I didn’t do anything,” Soobin says honestly, though he itches all over at the danger Kai had been in. He doesn’t look at the mugger, not wanting his emotions to turn ugly and to make him do something he might regret. “Do you want me to take you home, Huening-ssi?”
“I mean, thank you for everything you’ve done for the city,” Kai says shyly, cheeks tinted pink. “And um, I’m not good with heights. I’ll be fine going home by myself.” Kai bows politely before taking off. Soobin doesn’t even have a chance to get another word in.
He makes the call as he takes the shortcut home to get there before Kai. “Backstreet by Arcadia. Attempted armed robbery, you can check their CCTV. Victim unharmed.”
He’s been restless on the couch for ten minutes when he hears the click of the lock. He takes out his earpiece and is at the door in a blink.
“Kai-yah—” and then Kai collapses against him, knees giving way. “What’s wrong?” He doesn’t have to fake the alarm or surprise in his voice, because Kai had looked so composed in front of his hero persona, almost unruffled. He should have known the shock would catch up. Soobin locks the door shut and carries Kai over to the couch, where he latches onto Soobin’s body. “Do you need anything?” he asks uselessly, because if Kai’s in shock, then it wouldn’t be good to give him water anyway.
“No,” Kai says, voice muffled against his chest, “just need you. Please, just…”
Soobin’s heart lurches at how Kai trembles against him. “Are you sure you don’t want me to call an ambulance?” Kai shakes his head, and the next few minutes aren’t quiet even though they’re not speaking; Soobin can hear the turmoil of his own heart, can hear the rapid beating of Kai’s, hates the way Kai’s skin is cold and clammy against his and he can’t do anything to help. He almost zones out with anger as he strokes Kai’s hair and whispers things like it’s okay, I’m here and I’ll always be here. He’s not sure what all he says, what all he promises, just knows that he can’t keep his words locked up like this, that he needs Kai to understand how much he means to him.
When Kai finally untenses, Soobin breathes a sigh of relief. The first thing Kai does is press a hand against his chest and apologize.
“Sorry,” he mumbles, “the person you’re dating probably wouldn’t be happy if they knew about this.” Right. When was that lie again? Sometime last week?
“We’re not seeing each other anymore,” Soobin blurts out as he laces his fingers over Kai’s, “and I wouldn’t date anyone who doesn’t understand how much you mean to me anyway.”
“Oh.” Kai’s breath is warm against his neck. He looks small tucked against Soobin and the couch. His smile is a little fragile. “Would you believe me if I said I met Spider-Man today?”
Soobin half wishes he doesn’t respond, “Yeah? Tell me all about it,” because halfway through, after Kai jokes about how good Spider-Man smells and how in-shape he must have been to find him so quickly, his eyes brim with tears that are too stubborn to fall over as he clutches Soobin’s shirt and whispers that he was scared, and Soobin thinks about the mugger with a malice felt so deep he’s shaken by his own desire to harm. Kai looks exhausted by the time he finishes his story, and all Soobin can do is stroke his cheek and whisper you’re so brave before Kai buries against his chest again.
Kai exhales before saying in a small voice, “Hyung, we’re okay, right? I’m more scared about us not being okay,” and Soobin feels shattered. Is shattered.
“Of course we’re okay, silly,” Soobin says thickly, feeling tears prick at his eyes because he’s not as emotionally stoic as Kai. “You matter so much to me, my gum. You have to know. We already promised to be together forever, did you already forget?” You’re my everything.
He can feel Kai smile against him at the nickname. It’s been a while since Soobin has used it. “You’re the gum,” he whines. His voice drops to a murmur. “I thought you forgot about that promise. We made it when we were like, four.”
“Never,” Soobin responds, knuckles soft against Kai’s cheek, “I’m sorry I haven’t been home as often. I’ll try to make more time for us, okay?”
“You don’t have to,” Kai protests weakly, though he finally looks up at Soobin, eyes hopeful and still wet. “I know you’re busy.”
Soobin squeezes Kai’s hand. “I want to. You belong in my life too. I miss you, Kai-yah. I miss seeing you and I miss talking with you and I miss being with you.” He’s shocked how easy it comes out of his mouth, and Kai seems to be too, his cheeks turning pink.
“M-Me too Soobinie. All of those things, and more.” For a second, Soobin thinks Kai is looking at his lips, but he blinks and Kai sits up. Of course not. Soobin follows and pinches Kai’s cheek.
“What more is there,” he says teasingly even as Kai blushes harder.
“I just thought it sounded good,” Kai mumbles. “I’m hungry, do you want takeout?”
Soobin hums. “Do you want to help me cook? I got groceries yesterday.” His heart skips a beat when Kai smiles and pushes his face against his hand, so beautiful.
“I’d love to.”