Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You don't know what it is but something about Miya, Atsumu irritates you. 

Just hearing his name is enough to get you frowning, more so when that name is accompanied with praise, girls reveling in the thought of him alone. It leaves you scoffing, internally mocking them for being enamoured by such an asshole. 

Well, maybe you do know why he irritates you. 

You met the twins during your third year of junior high, in a joint volleyball training camp. You originally went to a different school and you were well aware of the reputation of Inarizaki, the school being a powerhouse. But you really didn't pay much attention to the twins, seeing no appeal in ogling them like some of your peers did. (Why would you give them the time of day anyway? You don't have to bother with the boys' volleyball teams.) 

However, when you caught a glimpse of how Atsumu seemed to make it easier for the spikers to spike the ball, giving them room to breathe and making it look like they're at their peak, your jaw nearly dropped in amazement. As a setter yourself, you envied his skills so you spent the rest of the camp observing him, trying to remember every little detail about his plays, writing it down and deconstructing it so you can apply it to yourself as well. 

Of course, skills like that aren't honed overnight. You struggled, almost being benched out by one of the coaches because you kept experimenting during a practice match. Another coach, however, commended you, because it was exactly the best time to try new things out since there were no real consequences. So you did your best to accommodate your spikers, asking them for their preferences, trying to read their moods, thinking of ways on how you’ll be able to push themselves further, brain going overdrive with all the information you tried to process while on court. 

Your attempts were clumsy at first but you know it’s another step forward towards your goal. 

You remember vividly the moment Atsumu walked over to you during the end of the training camp, just as you were finishing washing up the water bottles outside the gym. He was carrying a tub full of water bottles in his arms as well and you weren't really about to address him, just content on bowing politely as greeting and grabbing all your stuff but then he just had to open his damn mouth. 

"Oh, look. It's the try-hard." 

That's where the hatred started. 

Try-hard ? What's so bad about trying hard? Even now you're still bitter about it, still can't believe that the guy had the audacity to speak to you in such a way. Sure, Miya is a household name dominating the volleyball scene but does that give him the right to belittle someone who's trying their best? You grit your teeth, chest tightening upon remembering that dumb scene again. You're pretty sure it's one of your core memories now, one you use as motivation to get better just to spite him. 

Another core memory is how he smiled in recognition when he saw you on the first day of class during first year of senior high, immediately taking the seat next to you and announcing- 

"Are ya so into me you enrolled in Inarizaki?" 

You stop setting towards the wall and suddenly get the urge to slam the ball to the floor... so you did, startling some of your teammates as you huff and go after it once it bounces twice and rolls away. You hadn't mean to transfer here, heck if it wasn't for your family you would've stayed back in your old school but nooo , your father wanted you to go here in an effort to support your volleyball endeavors, justifying it with how Inarizaki is a powerhouse and you're sure to learn more while playing with powerful people. It makes sense honestly. It checks out, the motive behind the gesture pretty sweet too. 

But curse your luck. You just had to share homeroom with the one person you know and detest in the whole school. Heck, why didn't you get his twin as your classmate? At least that guy didn't open his mouth and just looked at you disinterestedly from time to time. 

(He's just as bad but more tolerable, you guess.)

You take a deep breath as you lean down to pick up the ball you just abused, patting it as if to apologize before the coach calls for a match again, making the lot of you stop individual practice and huddle together to form teams. 

You were quickly assigned as a regular (the team's setter) at the start of the school year, which flattered you because it meant your relentless training paid off. (You're kind of pissed that some tricks you learned are from Atsumu but whatever you gathered from him, you made it your own so-) You still have some room to grow but your coach has fairly been happy with you and your progress, even giving you pointers and suggestions to help your talent bloom more. The thought of it leaves you smiling as you wiggle in a training vest, eager to enjoy a grueling rally once again. You lick your lower lips. 

What's so bad about being a try-hard? 

*** 

"Good evenin', [Y/n]" Atsumu greets you with a smile as you bump into him on the way to the school gate, his twin just beside him, nodding at you in acknowledgement. You nod back at Osamu but shoot Atsumu a glare as you pocket the gym keys, being the last one out since you insisted on staying back to practice some more. 

Of course, the Miya twins stayed back too, to also practice you assume. They're a different kind of freaks. 

"We are not in a first name basis, Miya," you grumble as you speed walk your way out of their sight but Atsumu is hellbent in annoying you, jogging and falling into an easy step beside you, his long legs leisurely keeping up even as the setting to your speed walking is super ultra fast .

(You eye his kneecaps. You'll get them someday.) 

"Why not? We're friends, aren't we? We even share the same homeroom and sit next to each other and everythin'." 

You roll your eyes at his statement, looking over your shoulder to check if Osamu is still with you both. He is, loitering just ways behind his twin, typing something on his phone. You thought he would at least walk beside his other half (hoped he would) because then maybe Atsumu would think more before uttering whatever bullshit he's going to throw your way again.

You immediately open your school bag, rummaging through your stuff before procuring your earbuds, plugging it on your phone and starting up a song in record time. You faintly hear Atsumu huff in disbelief through the blaring music but your brief moment of reprieve is quickly yanked away from you as Atsumu literally yanks your earbuds off your ears. 

You redden in anger. 

"What the fuck, Miya!?" You hiss and swipe your earbuds back from him, muttering to yourself about how annoying he is. 

He laughs at that, always delighted to have you explode so easily because of him despite you looking so put together. He's seen you get angry during a match but people probably can't tell since your expression never changes. But, he can tell. 

(He totally didn’t dedicate some of his time watching some of your matches. Nope. Why would he?)

He noticed that when you’re irritated, you clench your jaw, press the fingernail of your thumb in your palm, or sometimes run your tongue on your right fang, actions that can easily be mistaken as habits. You keep your anger hidden under wraps so well, the only time your temper ever slips is when he's involved. He revels at that. Makes him feel special. 

His eyebrows furrow, immediately snuffing that thought out. What the hell? 

"Yer so rude. Here I am gracing you with my presence and talkin' to ya with nothin' but good intentions and yet you choose ta disrespect me by plugging earbuds to yer ears." Atsumu makes a show of clutching his chest, feigning hurt and that gives you an idea, strongly smacking him by that hand, knocking the air out of his chest as he clutches it in pain for real. He looks at you, livid and now it's your time to smile. 

The radiance of it makes his blood boil further. 

"What the fuck, [Y/n]?!" 

You laugh, the sound heavenly. You put your earbuds back in your ears and muttering, "Serves ya right. Also, we're not on a first name basis." Before he can say what he always says whenever you remind him of that, you add, "And no, we are not friends!" 

"Why not?!" 

"Who'd wanna be friends with someone who insults them daily?!" 

Atsumu gasps. 

"When did I ever insult ya?!" 

"Are ya deaf?! I said daily!"

“And I said when?! I’ve been nothin’ but nice ta ya!”

You scowl at him before turning the volume of your phone way up, already done with this conversation. Nothin’ but nice … He practically antagonizes you everyday, calling you cute and whatnot, lavishing you with attention, even forcing you to have lunch with him (sometimes Osamu tags along) and then ‘ accidentally ’ bumping into you just when you’re about to walk home.

Okay, maybe it does sound nice, sounds like he’s making an effort to befriend you when you list it that way but you don’t want his attention and you’re pretty sure he’s doing it just to bother you, those endearing pet names of his uttered with complete sarcasm. It makes you angry when he smiles and calls you ‘cutie’ because it does things to you that you don’t quite understand. He’s also so patronizing, it pisses you off.

You don’t even say goodbye as you divert from the path, going your own way because your house is actually not on the same way as the Miyas. You lower the volume just as Atsumu tells you to take care, tiny butterflies on your stomach fluttering despite you already expecting him to say that with that gentle voice of his. You grit your teeth and shake your head before turning the volume way back again, huffing. He watches your retreating figure until you’re out of sight before they, too, also go their own way.

“Yer like a scrub who bullies the girl he likes,” Osamu says later and Atsumu almost chokes on his own spit. He looks at his twin wide-eyed. 

“I’m not bullyin’ her!” He says, defensive before he realizes he should address the last part more, “And I don’t like her!”

Osamu rolls his eyes.

“ Sure .”

“Why do I feel like ya don’t believe me?”

“Because I don’t.”

Atsumu first saw you during third year of junior high, in a joint volleyball training camp. You originally went to a different school and he’s quite aware of the rising reputation your boys’ and girls’ teams had. He didn’t particularly care about the girls’ team since he won’t be playing with them anyways and though he likes to bask in attention sometimes, he’s not particularly bent over trying to impress a bunch of teenage girls. 

(Not like he needs to try anyway.)

He caught a glimpse of your stunned face through the crowd once after he just finished setting to one of his spikers, grinning to himself because that was one clean set-up. He didn’t know why he reflexively looked your way, eyes immediately drawn to your face, and he doesn’t really know you but the way you looked at him like he’s breathtaking nearly knocks him off his feet.

Atsumu looked away just as fast, that brief eye contact lasting for merely a second but that was enough to make him curious. It’s not like that was the first time someone looked at him that way, girls occasionally fawning over them, but the way your eyes glimmered had him feeling a bit different.

Maybe it’s because it looked like you were amazed by his skill rather than his face.

He noticed you going to their side of the court every moment your team went on a break, always feeling a pair of eyes staring holes at the back of his head as you try to pry him open to learn the secrets of all his techniques. Atsumu hated it, being so openly read, and Osamu noticed how he’s a bit distracted, probably because a fraction of his attention was focused on the girl scribbling on a little notebook, trying to make sense of whatever information she had absorbed.

He asked around discreetly about you (which wasn’t discreet at all, he immediately got teased for having a crush and he tried to deny it which led him to be teased more) and learned that you were also a setter, a skilled one at that. 

If she were so skilled then why does she have to watch me do basic things? , he thought one time as he chugged down his water bottle.

He found you alone in the outdoor sink on the afternoon the training camp ended, your jacket’s sleeves rolled up as you finished washing up the water bottles. You were about to leave, nodding at him when you saw him coming, and just as he was putting down his basin, for some unknown reason he blurted out-

“Oh, look. It's the try-hard.”

Atsumu immediately snapped his mouth shut, a bit mortified that he just said that and he cursed internally when your eyes widened a bit, as shocked as he was. You looked at him for a few seconds as he tried to keep an easy smile, nervous as all hell, getting the feeling that the statement offended you greatly but you didn’t say anything. You just left and acted like nothing happened.

Once he was sure you were out of sight, he smacked his own forehead repeatedly, calling himself a dummy because why did he do that?!

(He came back a bit later, forehead still a bit red and Osamu asked if he did something dumb again. Atsumu ignored him.)

He thought that’ll be his last encounter with you (unless you manage to bump into each other during competitions but he highly doubts you’ll smile at him and greet him) so imagine his surprise when he blearily walked inside the classroom he was assigned in and saw you there, sitting in one of the desks, stone faced as ever. He immediately slid to the vacant seat next to you, excited, thrilled, having been woken up by your presence and before he could stop his mouth again, he asked, “Are ya so into me you enrolled in Inarizaki?” 

You looked at him like he’s ridiculous which made him smile for reasons he can’t fathom. However, instead of ignoring him like how you did during your first encounter, you simply blinked and said-

“Naw, m’not interested in people with piss hair.”

And that's where the mutual hatred started.

Though hatred is a strong word. He doesn’t really know what he feels towards you but he definitely enjoys it when your face scrunches in annoyance whenever you hear him say another ridiculous statement. He finds the action adora-

Atsumu looks at the mirror in their room, ruffling his hair. Piss hair? It looks good! What kinda eyes do you have? Sure, he enjoys teasing you, it’s a highlight of his day honestly but you also annoy him to a certain extent because the insults you throw at him sometimes has him dropping his jaw, appalled that you even said such a thing to him.

And then you laugh, that laugh that has him shutting up and stuttering on multiple occasions, the comebacks dying in his throat. It makes him angry that you have such an effect on him.

Hatred is a strong word. You make him angry on occasions but he wouldn’t go so far to say that he hates you. The same probably can’t be said about you though. 

You hated Miya, Atsumu with everything you have.

Even the part that’s a little bit his.

Chapter Text

“Mornin’,” Atsumu greets, yawning as he unceremoniously drops his school bag on his desk, taking the seat next to you. You ignore him as usual, forever not in the mood to deal with him. He’s a bit used to you ignoring him now and he doesn’t really care anymore because it just gives him time to think of something to say that’ll make you snap back at him, a pretty sneer plastered on your face.

“Did ya get a haircut?” He asks, eyeing your face, fully aware that you didn’t get a haircut, just saying it in order to get a reaction out of you. He grins when you furrow your eyebrows and shoot him a look.

“No, I didn’t,” you say with a huff, “Can ya stop talkin’ to me please? It’s already halfway through the school year and I’ve shown no interest in befriending ya, you haf’ta give up at some point.”

Atsumu shrugs before resting his head on his bag, facing you.

“Geez, so mad and for nothin’. What happened, [Y/n]? Ya used ta look at me with stars in yer eyes.” 

You grimace at what he said, knowing exactly what he’s referring to. You sort of got the feeling that he was observing you just as you were observing him during that accursed training camp which is probably why he addressed you in such a way the first two times you’ve interacted. If he just approached you nicely, you wouldn’t really mind being friends. But , he didn’t. You clench your jaw. Call it petty, holding a grudge for something so stupid but your pride just can’t handle it. Before you knew it, you just automatically hated everything he did.

“When did that happen?” You ask, feigning ignorance, too proud to admit that you did look at him that way. You fidget with your fingers.

“Aw, you forgot already?”

You roll your eyes. The man in question doesn’t really help his case either.

“Anythin’ involving ya isn’t worth remembering.”

“Okay, rude.”

You scowl and before he can ask you another meaningless question, your homeroom teacher enters the classroom and starts the roll call. Atsumu is quiet for most of the classes, actually paying attention, contrary to popular belief where people (e.g you) didn’t think of him as the type. He isn't studious but he's smart, a fact you begrudgingly accepted.

However , there are times when he would throw a piece of crumpled paper on your desk, attempting to pass notes but, of course, you typically ignore those. Which makes him throw more your way until you’re forced to actually reply back, your note mostly consisting of colorful words that he’ll just smile at.

Around third period, he starts doing just that and just as he’s on his third attempt to get you to respond, the teacher announces a group project and starts announcing names by pairs. Dread settles itself on your stomach. Group projects always make you nervous, primarily because you always hope with all your heart that you won’t be paired up with Atsumu. You don’t think your blood pressure can handle it. So far your nightmare hasn’t happened… yet .

“[Surname], [Y/n] and…”

You hold your breath. Atsumu’s name hasn’t been announced either so there’s a chance-

“Miya, Atsumu.”

Fuck.

You close your eyes and accidentally bang your head hard on your desk when you were just about to rest it, making the whole class turn to you. You don’t even feel the pain on your forehead, too focused on the heat creeping on your cheek and nape as you feel multiple eyes on you. You didn't mean to make such a ruckus but you guess your hatred for that pairing decision had you acting up.

“ Wow ,” Atsumu exclaims beside you, tone clearly offended. You clench your fist because he's gonna use that annoying whiny voice next. “What’s yer deal?! Do ya hate partnerin’ with me so much that you’d give yerself a concussion?!”

The class laughs and you swear you hear even your teacher’s laughter mixed in, amused because they’ve seen you and Atsumu interact, all of them aware of just how much you don’t like the guy.

You turn your head to face him, catching him looking at you with an annoyed look on his face. You discreetly give him the finger. You see him try to stop a smile but he just sticks his tongue out instead. If you could reach for him, you’d pull that filthy tongue out. He always does that. It’s irritating.

“[Surname]-chan? You okay?” Your teacher asks after the laughter dies down and it takes you a few moments before you lift your head and force a smile.

“M’alright. Sorry.”

The class thankfully continues on, everyone immediately forgetting the whole ordeal. You put your head in your hands. Ooooh, you’re doomed. You are so doomed.

Another crumpled paper makes its way to your desk again later when Atsumu figures you won’t be responding to him calling out your name. You open it with a scowl.

So whose place?

You throw the paper back at his face, much to his chagrin.

***

After the last period ended, you find yourself standing over Atsumu’s desk just as he’s gathering his things so he can head to volleyball practice quickly. He raises an eyebrow once he meets your gaze but he smiles immediately after, canines on full display.

“What is it, [Y/n]?”

“Can ya stop that , Miya?” You scowl and Atsumu chuckles because he would never tire of hearing you reprimand him for using your first name. It’s been half a year already, he figures you should just give it up because he’ll never listen.

(The same could be said to him. It’s been half a year of you blatantly ignoring him and he still doesn’t give up.)

He waits for you to say more but you just stood there, looking at him like he’s some sort of alien. He furrows his brows, annoyance quickly prickling at his skin. He’s already seen you look at him with stars in your eyes so this judgmental gaze of yours isn’t something he particularly enjoys.  When his patience runs thin because you still haven’t said anything after a minute or two, he stands up and slings the bag over his shoulder.

“What?” He asks tauntingly. "Can I go now? Just take a picture if ya like what ya see so much."

(Oh, thank goodness. He didn’t notice how one of your hands fidgets, nervous. You’d rather die than have him found out that he makes you nervous.)

You bite your lower lip before taking out your phone from your skirts pocket. His eyes widens, shocked because he really thought you'd take his picture but then you say-

“Give me yer phone.”

He looks at you dumbfounded but it isn't long before he's smiling like an idiot, realizing what  you’re trying to do. So that’s what it is.

“Why?”

“Just give me yer damn phone.” You click your tongue, patience running a bit thin.

He tuts at you which makes your grip tighten on the device on your hand.

"That isn't the right way to ask for someone's number ya know." 

You clench your jaw and glare at him while Atsumu’s smirking at you like the smartass he is. Gosh, if you didn't need your phone, you would've used it to bash him on the head. When it’s clear that he wouldn’t budge, you pocket your phone again and turn away from him with a frown, gathering your things as well because you, too, have practice to attend to.

“Man, [Y/n], no patience at all. Can’t a guy play hard to get even a little?” Atsumu says as he follows you out the classroom, trying to make you hand your bag over to him because he, in his own words, is a gentleman. You swat him away and try to walk as fast as you could but you both know it’s futile. You eye his kneecaps again. You’ll get them one of these days…

Someday.

(Atsumu shivers a little. You call him a wuss. He calls you a bitch.)

When you both were about to part for the clubroom, Atsumu lightly touches your shoulder and you quickly turn to glare at him, immediately dusting your shoulders and stepping back. Atsumu rolls his eyes at your reaction before turning his nose up, a little bit offended. You fight the urge to shove your fingers up his nostril, scolding yourself internally for such a thought because there’s no way you’d let Atsumu’s germs touch you.

“What?” you ask, miffed.

“Ya really ain’t gonna ask for my number again?”

“No,” you answer simply before walking away again, leaving the bleached twin standing there alone to watch your retreating back. He can only let out an exhale through his nose when he catches you stealing a glance at him one last time before you enter your clubroom, contempt evident on those eyes of yours.

How cute , Atsumu sarcastically thinks.

For some reason, Atsumu just stands there, not taking his eyes off your clubroom door, as if he’s expecting you to come out and tell him you’re kidding and you, in fact, would like to know his number, a giddy smile on that lips of yours. He has yet to see one but the thought of it is quite nice. 

What he gets instead is a clap on the back of his head.

“Stop bein’ a pervert and go change already.”

Atsumu lets out a high pitched noise as he touches the part where he got hit, quickly turning to the perpetrator. Osamu cringes at the sound. 

“M’not a pervert! Was just lost in thought!”

Osamu raises an eyebrow. “Oh really? Lost in what thought? Of [Y/n]?”

The grey haired twin smirks as Atsumu turns away, probably to hide his flustered state. Seriously, Atsumu can be quite easy to read when it comes to matters of the heart. But maybe it’s just because Osamu knows him too well.

Atsumu turns back to him when he seemingly gathers himself, eyebrows furrowed. “Yer on a first name basis with her, huh, ‘Samu?” He asks tauntingly but Osamu thinks it just comes out pathetic considering that he suspects that Atsumu has a thing for you.

“Yeah, ya scrub. She calls me Osamu unlike you, Miya-kun. ”

“Seriously?!”

“What are you two doing?” Suna squints at the twins loitering outside their clubroom and Osamu’s quick to point fingers at Atsumu.

“Sunarin! ‘Tsumu was creepin’ ‘round the girl’s clubroom!”

“Was not! I was just starin’ at their door, the hell!” Atsumu shoves Osamu with a scowl, the latter quickly retaliating. 

“Oh! So ya really were fantasizing about [Y/n]?!”

“SSSSSH!! M’NOT BUT WHAT IF SHE HEARS?!”

“M’not the one yellin’ ‘bout it, idiot!”

Suna just watches the two be idiotic, hoping a bit that this little squabble turns into a full blown fight just so he can record and laugh about it but before it does, Aran and Kita appears, making the two stop and quickly head over to the clubroom door, still discreetly shoving each other with their elbows as they fight over who gets to go inside first. Suna just rolls his eyes at their antics, not acting up a bit because he knows that a scolding from their upperclassmen isn’t too far behind. 

Just as Aran is telling the twins to just use the door normally, Suna catches you exiting your clubroom and you glance at the twins briefly before meeting his eyes. You nod at him before you break eye contact, fixing your hair as you walk towards the gym so it won’t get in the way.

Suna knows you’re one of the star players of the girl’s team, a talented setter in your own right so maybe that’s why you’ve caught his troublesome teammate’s attention. But...you seem like a really cold person, even the way Atsumu and Osamu talk about you has him suspecting as such. Especially Atsumu; the guy has a way with words that makes it sound like he’s praising and yet insulting you at the same time and Suna’s certain that if you heard whatever bullcrap Atsumu utters sometimes about you out of nowhere, the guy would have his ass handed to him. He knows because he’s caught you one time making a face and quickly brushing off your arm when Atsumu came too close to your liking, an act that had the twin brushing shoulders with you more as he corners you in a wall just to annoy you.

(You stepped at Atsumu’s feet quite hard just to escape, a scowl on your face, an expression that startled Suna the first time he saw it because he didn’t expect such a pretty face to express so much animosity. He remembers how funny Atsumu’s face was that time as he clutches his foot and yet the look he gave you when you walked away was all but wistful.)

(Suna also didn’t expect that.)

“Atsumu, are you perhaps a masochist?”

Aran nearly chokes on his own spit. Kita peeks curiously at Suna, a bit amused but overall intrigued. Osamu’s eyes widen at first but then he starts laughing, hands clutching his stomach. Atsumu drops his shirt the same time his jaw nearly hits the floor.

“Wh- Wha-” he sputters after a few seconds in an attempt to recover.

“You like that setter, right? [Surname]? All I’ve seen her do is abuse you so I was thinking-”

“M’not!” Atsumu scowls, picking up his shirt and gripping it tightly on his hand. “Also, I don’t like her!”

“Always so slow ta denyin’ ya like her,” Osamu wipes a tear from the corner of his eye as he begins peeling off his uniform. “Just say ya like her, ya scrub.”

“I don’t!”

“Sure thing, Mr. Masochist.”

“Suna!”

***

When practice ended, your captain had you run to the boys’ gym to borrow a mop since a teammate accidentally broke one and when you subtly expressed your distaste for the task, she laughed and told you to just ask for Osamu or maybe Suna if you disliked facing Atsumu so much. You internally debated whether you should argue that it’s not that easy, that the bleach haired bastard is adamant on ruining your day every moment he gets, but decided against it because you’re sure some of your teammates get a kick of watching you and Atsumu bicker like kids.

Or as they say, like an ‘ old married couple ’. You gag at the thought.

Sure enough, the moment you slid open the gym doors and excused yourself for intruding, Atsumu’s quickly at the door, towering over you and acting like he’s hot shit, asking if you’re there to watch him just like old times’ sake (you wanted to sock him so bad for this) but too bad practice was already over but he didn’t mind staying late as long as you accompany him-

“Miya, can ya shut up? I’m just here ta borrow a freakin’ mop, who cares about you?”

You quickly snapped back to your senses as you realized that the whole gym probably heard you so you turned to them and bowed apologetically before completely tuning Atsumu out and acquiring your mop, courtesy of Osamu.

“Thank you, Osamu-kun. I’ll get it back ta ya later as soon as I can.” 

“Sure thing, [Y/n]-chan. Take yer time.”

You smiled a little and bowed again before you went on your merry way. You missed the way Osamu grinned proudly at Atsumu as Suna declared-

“Oh, so Osamu’s really on a first name basis with her, huh?”

“Poor, poor ‘Tsumu.”

Atsumu gritted his teeth and smacked Osamu’s arm quite hard, making the latter chase after him around the gym and it wasn’t long before the two were throwing volleyballs at each other. Kita sternly reprimanded them later for messing around and slowing down the tidying up process.

Atsumu asked Kita for the gym keys just as they were closing up, making Kita raise an eyebrow.

“Why?”

“[Y/n] still hasn’t returned the mop. I’ll wait for her then lock up.”

Kita stares at the twin, trying to gauge something, making Atsumu straighten a bit and after a few moments, the older man hands the keys over.

“Don’t lose it.”

“Yessir!” Atsumu salutes, making Kita smile a little before waving goodbye and heading over the clubroom. Osamu exits the gym and calls him lame just in time Kita left, making Atsumu scoff.

“Should I go ahead?”

“Don’t really mind. Ya can stay with me if ya want.” Atsumu whirls the keys on his fingers, pouting.

“Who’d want that?” Osamu gives him the finger and Atsumu’s about to kick him in the rear but the former’s quick to dodge, running away before he could. Atsumu gives him the finger back.

“Go home already, ya lameass!”

“I will! Don’t wanna witness ya bein’ lame and whipped for [Y/n]!”

“M’not both of those, screw ya!”

Though Miya, Atsumu isn’t whipped for you in any way or form as he says, he waits for you at the entrance of the gym, eyes trained to the night sky and he wonders if you’d go stargazing with him someday. He knows a perfect spot, one that he and his brother found as kids, and he’s certain the place’s still available because he sneaks out there sometimes to get some breather or maybe some setting practice. Would you train with him? Well, the real question is if you’ll be willing to go in the first place. He suspects that if you see the path, you’ll make a comment about how he’s planning to murder you. He snorts at that. You’re such a smartass sometimes. No, he’s not whipped at all-

You’re taking a really long time.

He finally makes his way towards the girls’ gym, ready to tease you about taking so long but the sight that greets him instead makes him freeze. It’s like a tiny drop of ice makes its way on his chest and the sensation spread throughout his body. After that ice is hot searing anger as he stomps his way over the two figures near the clubrooms.

Your panicked expression softens a little when you look up from hearing his footsteps as if relieved that he’s here and Atsumu internally pats himself on the back because his assumptions must be correct then.

The basketball team’s captain is bothering you, caging you in between him and the wall, an imposing figure threatening your security. Atsumu notices the way your grip tightens on the mop handle.

“Oh, if it isn’t Miya, Atsumu.” The captain chuckles, hand still resting on the wall beside your head as if the scene he just walked on is a normal occurrence which makes Atsumu’s blood boil. The bleached haired twin quickly comes in between you and the captain, hiding you from the guy with his broad back, much to the other guy’s confusion.

“Hello Basketball-kun,” Atsumu greets with a seemingly cordial smile but the captain knows otherwise.

That’s a smile that screams danger.

“Man, couldn’t even bother remembering my name, huh?”

“How could I remember when I didn't know it in the first place?”

The captain snorts. 

“Well, I don’t really care. If I may ask though, I’m havin’ a pleasant conversation with [Y/n] over there, can ya fuck off?”

Atsumu drops his smile as soon as your name tumbles out of the captain’s lips. He glares at the guy with the most venom he could muster, which was a lot considering it’s Miya, Atsumu and without taking his eyes off the guy (who is sweating by now, might I add, even if he’s a feet taller than Atsumu), he turns a bit to address you.

“S’that true, [Y/n]?”

You don’t answer which makes Atsumu think you’re ignoring him again and he internally curses because is this really the time? You should at least put your differences aside for this moment, but then maybe you both really have this type of relationship and Atsumu had just made a fool of himself- 

Suddenly, Atsumu stiffens.

Because your hand, ever so gently and hesitantly tugs at the back of his shirt.

“Let’s go already.”

This is a first. Atsumu finds it hard to think clearly for a few moments until the guy scoffs and peeks over Atsumu’s shoulder, attempting to get to you.

“Let’s have a nice chat again tomorrow, [Y/n]-chan-” 

Before Atsumu can control himself, his hand finds the captain’s collar and he drags him down so he can come face to face with him. Atsumu sneers and even you can’t help but shudder when words spoken in a harsh tone comes out his pretty mouth.

“Get yer hands off my girl.”

The captain’s jaw turns slack as his eyes widen in shock. If both of the guys aren’t so keen into going after each other’s throat, they’ll see just how much in a shock you’re in right now too.

“ What? ”

“Ya heard me.” Atsumu shoves him away before his hand finds your free one, intertwining your fingers together, humming proudly to himself when his warm skin hits your icy one. The captain just gawks at you both.

“We’re datin’ so scram.”

“What? This the first time I’ve heard of it- I swear if yer lyin’ Miya-”

“Well, [Y/n] here wanted ta keep it a secret but if little bitch ass boys are comin’ after her when I’m out of sight, maybe we should make it public after all. Now if you’ll excuse us, I haf’ta walk my girlfriend home,” Atsumu says in a lighthearted manner but his eyes says otherwise, sharp and deadly, giving a clear warning. The captain eventually gets the memo and leaves after a bit of fumbling, stealing one last glance towards you before a string of curse words leaves his mouth.

Atsumu lets go of your hand once he’s out of sight and he doesn’t know why but he laments the loss of contact. He grips that hand into a fist, trying to savor the way your soft palm felt.

Meanwhile, you absentmindedly grip the mop handle, a bit dizzy at what happened and confused at how much comfort you’re getting from his warmth.

What just happened?

“Ya okay?” He asks as he lays his hand, motioning for you to hand over the mop already. You do just that and nod.

“M’alright.”

Atsumu motions again for you to follow him to the gym and once he stores the mop and lock up, you both head over to the clubrooms to change, him waiting for you outside once he’s done and he notes the way you’re still staring blankly as if you’re not really sure what just happened. 

It’s because you’re not really sure what just happened.

You snap back to your senses when you both just exited the school gates.

“What the hell was that?” you ask him, much to Atsumu’s delight.

“Oh! Welcome back!”

“Don’t ‘welcome back’ me!” 

He can only laugh as you pout at him and it lasts for a few minutes, just you staring at him as he grins mischievously, moving around like some sort of idiot. After you’ve once again registered what just happened, you clear your throat and say “Hey.”

“Yes?” Atsumu tilts his head, an amused smile on his face. It takes everything in you to not want to smack it off his lips but then he did do you a favor.

You take a deep breath.

“Thanks, Atsumu. Ya really saved me back there.”

Atsumu freezes making you freeze as well because, did you do something wrong?

He turns away, eyes suddenly trained to the path home as he starts walking again. For the first time, you follow after him, trying to match his pace and when it turns to be quite difficult, you quickly run up to him and headbutt him in the back.

“OW! What the hell?!”

“Yer not goin’ ta say anythin’?! Also, yer going way too fast, give me a break!” When you look up at him with a huff, you suddenly shut your mouth because the sight you’re suddenly subjected to is…

Beautiful.

Atsumu’s blushing and somehow it’s making you blush too. You furrow your brows.

“W-what?!” you ask, trying to be menacing.

“Give me a moment, ya scrub!” He turns away again and then suddenly smacks himself on the cheek, the type you do on a match when you’re trying to recenter yourself. You also take deep breaths, attempting to calm yourself down so you both would be decent once you all got your shit together.

After a few moments, you both look at each other and then continue on walking like that little freakout session didn’t just happen. 

After a few moments, Atsumu, of course, ruins the peace and quiet, something that you’re actually grateful for.

“Why don’t ya treat me dinner as thanks?” He nudges you playfully and you scoff, dusting off the part he touched as customary. He scowls at that and then continues to grab your arm, making you try to elude him on the street.

“I would treat ya dinner as thanks if you’d stop bein’ a little shit! Stop touchin’ me!” 

Atsumu perks up at that. “Really?”

“Really,” you huff. 

Thankfully, that got him keeping his hands to himself. He suggests a place, somewhere in between the school and your houses, and you begrudgingly accept just to spite him even though you like the food there too.

At dinner, he finally brings up what just happened back at school with the basketball captain, something you anticipated and it honestly surprised you that he didn’t ask about this first.

“He’s been doin’ that since the school year started. I don’t really know what ta do,” you say before slurping your ramen. Atsumu watches you fondly but when you look at him, he looks away, bringing his gaze down his own bowl.

“Yer so tough and mean ta me but ya can’t even tell the guy off, the hell?”

You chew the inside of your cheek, debating whether you should tell him the reason. It may flatter him or offend him, to be honest, though you don’t really care if the effect is the latter. It can work both ways but you think either way, Atsumu’s ego is bound to inflate anyway. 

You sigh. Screw it.

“I feel like he can hurt me if he wants ta. I don’t think you’d do that.”

Atsumu is caught off guard at the admittance that you trust him. He stares at you in disbelief and after a few moments, red blossoms on your cheeks, making him smile.

“Quit starin’ or I’ll stab ya with my chopsticks.”

He snorts. “I won’t harm ya but here you are threatenin’ ta end my life. Where’s the compassion, [Y/n]?”

“Shut up and just eat,” you grumble, making him chuckle.

Dinner is surprisingly pleasant, Atsumu can actually hold a decent conversation if he wants to and you spent the latter part of your evening planning for your project. As promised (you guess), he walks you home, actually accompanying you to your street unlike the other times where both of you would separate at an intersection. You don’t know why but this leaves you a little flustered.

Especially when he just told that basketball team captain that both of you are dating.

You click your tongue at yourself because a part of you rather enjoys that thought. Another part reprimands you for being stupid.

“Hey, scrub, hold out yer hand.”

You look at him suspiciously, keeping your hands still at your sides. Atsumu rolls his eyes.

“No trust at all. I’m hurt.” He holds his fist out, clearly wanting to hand something to you. You squint and after a few moments of him frowning at you and his hand not budging, you hesitantly hold your hand out.

He drops a piece of crumpled paper on your hand and then he grins.

“G’night, [Y/n]. See ya tomorrow.”

You look at the paper then at his retreating form, waving lazily, then back at the paper then back to Atsumu. 

“Ah- good night, Miya! Take care!”

“Call me ‘Atsumu’, ya idiot!”

You scoff, watching him laugh and it’s only when he disappears out of your sight do you uncrumple the paper, revealing its contents.

It’s his number. With a little cheeky note saying ‘ Call me for a good time. ;^)’

You giggle. How stupid.

You send him a good night message that night, detailing how much of an idiot he is, and Atsumu, despite all his annoyance, saves that message, keeping it as a remembrance to look back to for when you first messaged him. Osamu wonders why the hell his brother is smiling like a lovestruck idiot at his phone for the rest of the evening because he wholeheartedly believes that there’s NO WAY in hell that he’s managed to put some moves on you. Heck, they didn’t work before, why will it work now? Osamu didn’t even bother, he just slept early, figuring that his brother’s idiocy is in no way his business.

(Maybe only a bit.)

You stare at Atsumu’s good night reply accompanied with an insult and you can’t help but smile. You immediately find yourself slipping and on a fit of panic and impulse, you erase his message and quickly regret it after.

You sigh and chuck your phone somewhere in your bed.

This is stupid.

***

The next day, you find out the whole school apparently found out about this allegedly secret romance of yours and Atsumu’s. You grit your teeth. That blabbermouth basketball team captain! If he didn’t scare you so much, you for sure would beat his ass!

You cradle your head in your hands.

This is stupid.

Chapter Text

This morning has got to be the weirdest morning of your life.

Some people were staring at you in the shoe lockers, giving you knowing grins and looks, congratulating you and teasing you for being sly before whispering amongst themselves, especially to those who’s just as confused as you are, but after a quiet discussion, they’d look at you too as if everything in the world suddenly made sense.

If that wasn’t enough to confuse you, a gaggle of girls were glaring at you at a distance, openly seething and even as you raised your eyebrows at them in question, all you got was a scoff before they stomped away.

What is happening? Am I dreaming?

Even your classmates had those shit-eating grins on their faces as greeting when you slid the door open to the classroom, some girl friends you’re rather cordial with nudging you mischievously and calling you a sneaky fox. You had never been more frazzled. When you asked what was going on, the only thing you got was-

“Don’t act dumb!”

-before they went on their own businesses, leaving your question hanging in the air still unanswered. You clench your jaw, a bit irritated. You’re not acting dumb. You seriously don’t know.

Atsumu always arrives a little later than you and he usually enters the room either half-awake or with that haughty smirk of his, eyes usually finding you first no matter what, a morning greeting automatically tumbling out of his lips. You’ve found out that whenever he’s more awake, it’s usually when they got morning practice. You bite the inside of your cheek. You have no idea how you knew that but that’s taking up space on your brain now, you guess.

But this time, he goes into the classroom with a confused face similar to yours and you notice that your mates had the same reaction towards him too, the boys this time patting him on the back and congratulating him before stealing glances towards you. The girls giggle.

“Mornin’, [Y/n],” Atsumu says as he drops his bag on his desk and slowly takes a seat besides you, eyes focused on your mates that are currently grouping themselves at the front of the classroom and looking at you both with mirth in their eyes. You don’t answer him per usual so, of course, he takes it on himself to continue on the one-sided conversation.

“Everyone’s actin’ weird, man. Lots of people congratulated me first thing, even when I was just at the gates. I haven’t done anythin’ worth congratulating though.” Atsumu scoffs and you start biting your lower lip. Shit. You have a really bad feeling in your stomach. A really bad feeling.

“Look at the lovebirds! The ruse is up, you two! You can stop actin’ like ya hate each other now.”

“Huh?” Both you and Atsumu say at the same time, faces bewildered. That just causes the class to erupt in laughter.

“Man, I knew there was some tension in there!”

“Why’re ya both hiding it in the first place?”

“Well, Atsumu’s kind of popular and has some toxic fans…”

“[Surname]’s plenty popular too, y’know!”

“Yeah! Captain actually likes her so he went on a big rant about them secretly dating earlier-”

You immediately stand up, hands laid flat on your desk, the chair screeching back, startling all because of the sudden noise. Even Atsumu jumps a little, looking at you like you’re some sort of freak while clutching his chest. You were expecting him to laugh and fuel this rumor the moment he realizes what’s going on but you guess he’d been rendered speechless just as much as you are.

You narrow your eyes at the last person who spoke and he flinches from the contact, thoroughly confused as to why he’s being singled out. You recognize him as Ryota-san, from the basketball team. Of, fucking, course . You grit your teeth. That blabbermouth basketball team captain! If he didn’t scare you so much, you for sure would beat his ass!

“[Surname]-chan?”

Before you can tell everyone off and deny the stupid rumor, your instructor slides the door open, confusion on her face as she looks on on what’s happening inside. She tilts her head, a bit worried.

“Are ya fightin’ or something? Take yer seats.”

“Nah, teach! We just found out today that Atsumu-kun and [Surname]-chan were dating all along!” One girl cheers as everyone goes back to their own seats. 

"Some people in our year saw them last night too! They had dinner together and Atsumu-san walked [Surname]-san home."

"Kyaa! Didn't know Atsumu ta be that type!"

"Oh, please. He's been walkin' her home since forever. I think it's on us that we didn't really think much of it."

"Well, they're always arguin'. Who would've thought? I could've sworn [Y/n] hated him."

"Ah, young love!" 

"Yer pretty young still, ya idiot!"

You remain standing still, a bit shocked at the fuckery unfolding before you and you briefly wonder if you’re dreaming after all. Moreso when your instructor just laughs, goes to the desk in the middle to put her notes down, and beams at you and Atsumu.

“I see! Congratulations then. Now, now, settle down, we have classes ta attend to. You can sit now, [Surname].”

You frown and slowly take a seat as asked. You suddenly feel like crying. You feel like you’re being bullied. You cradle your head in your hands.

“Huh.” Atsumu mutters beside you before a smile slowly makes its way to his face. It seems that he’s come down from his own initial shock.

You scream internally.

This is freaking stupid.

***

“Miya, get up and follow me,” you say the moment the bell rings to signal lunch time, shooting up immediately from your seat and power walking out of the classroom, ignoring the nosey stares you're getting as Atsumu trails behind you, asking about lunch. Atsumu was just about to protest that he's hungry and wants to eat in the classroom instead but you don't give him a chance as you shoot him a deadly glare the moment you sense him open his mouth again, making him shut it back up. You huff. At least the guy can read the mood sometimes. 

Sometimes .

You lead him under some stairs that doesn't get visited much by people and the first thing you do is pinch the bridge of your nose in annoyance, eyebrows knitting together as you think the whole situation over. Atsumu figures you aren't really in the mood for witty quips right now so he decides to stop being a little shit for once and just leans in on the wall, hands in his pockets as he waits for you to speak up. He tries to stop a smile threatening to show on his face as he watches you be troubled. He doesn't particularly care about the rumor, in fact, he's quite delighted because he has yet another material to tease you with.

(Yep. That totally is the only reason why he doesn't mind. Totally.)

"Why'd ya use that excuse ta brush that guy off in the first place?" you mutter and then sigh deeply, obviously agitated. "Look at what it did!"

Atsumu shrugs, a bit annoyed that you're scolding him for what happened yesterday when all he wanted at that moment was to help.

"Dunno. That's the only thing that came ta mind. Why complain? It worked." He clicks his tongue.

You look at him with brows furrowed, annoyed as well. He frowns back. 

After a few seconds, your expression softens.

"I know and I'm grateful ya helped me out of that situation really, but…" you say softly and sigh again. You chew on your lower lip, looking down at your indoor shoes. You feel a headache coming as you try to rationalize this whole shebang.

Meanwhile, Atsumu stares at you, jaw slack, surprised at your honesty and sudden soft tone of voice (which he doesn't hear often since you consider him public enemy #1), and he swears, his heart skipped a beat.

He grits his teeth and throws his head back to look at the ceiling. No, no, no. Erase that thought! You just got surprised, is all, Atsumu!

"We have no choice but ta break up."

He immediately brings his gaze down to gawk at you and for some reason, he feels like he's going through a breakup for real just based on the reaction he reflexively gives.

"Huh?!"

"We need ta break up publicly." You press on, 100% serious about it. You even step towards Atsumu, showing him your conviction, as he tries to back away further in the wall, a feat impossible since his back was already to it in the first place. He scowls, trying to distract himself from the heart that's now going nuts on his ribcage.

"Why should we?!"

You blink, confused as to why he's so opposed to it. He blinks too, confused as to why you're confused.

Suddenly, he flushes as he realizes that what he said can be taken in two ways. He clears his throat, trying to get his shit together. He sure does fall apart easily when you're involved.

"I mean! Why break up when we aren't even datin' in the first place?" Atsumu scowls, at you or towards the fact that the last part stings a little for reasons he can't fathom, only he can know. 

You step back and cross your arms over your chest, looking towards the side to check again if people are nearby or will be heading to where you guys are. Luckily, there's none and the coast is perfectly clear.

"People are gonna believe what they believe anyway and right now, they’re connectin' these dots that don't make any sense at all just to justify that we’re datin’. So let's just make a fuss about breakin’ up and maybe they’ll leave us alone,” you rationalize, nodding to yourself since you’re convinced this is the only way you can get out of this sticky situation you both find yourselves in. Surprisingly, you’re not exactly repulsed by the fact that people think you’re dating, it’s just that… it makes you slightly uncomfortable.

Because, it’s freaking Miya, Atsumu.

“Woah,woah, woah.” This time it’s Atsumu’s turn to step towards you and corner you in a wall, making you gasp and almost stumble on your feet as your back meets the opposite wall. He leans in towards you and then tilts his head, eyes ablaze with something akin to a challenge. You gape at him for a second before quickly gathering yourself, glaring at him with all the sharpness you can muster.

“Back off,” you sneer. Atsumu’s eyes widen as if he’s caught himself forgetting his manners and immediately backs off just as you asked. The taunting look doesn’t leave him though.

“A bit hasty with breaking up, aren’t ya? How about we don’t do that?”

“Huh?”

“I said ,” he emphasizes, like he’s talking to a child, “we don’t haf’ta break up.”

“Yeah, I heard. What I meant by that ‘ huh ’ is ‘ are ya sick in the head ’? What do you mean we don’t haf’ta? We aren’t even datin’!”

“Aaaah, this is so troublesome!!” Atsumu scratches the side of his head in frustration and you only watch him with brows furrowed. After a bit of glaring, you both sigh and step away from each other, trying to re-center yourselves and talk within the same wavelength for once when you both calm down.

Once a few minutes pass, you finally gesture for him to elaborate.

This time, it’s Atsumu’s turn to cross his arms in an attempt to shield himself from the hurtful reactions you might throw his way again. Not like he’ll ever admit that they do actually hurt him. Why does he get hurt by them anyway? You’re just a girl he constantly annoys.

He clears his throat. “What I mean is we can keep pretending that we’re datin’.”

“And what will that achieve?” you fidget with the ends of your skirts, nervous. Atsumu tries to ignore the action lest he gets accused of being a pervert.

“Think about it. Basketball-kun and other male pests that threaten to invade yer personal space won’t attempt ta go after you again since yer taken. I can act as yer bodyguard.”

You bite the inside of your cheek as you desperately try to ignore the fact that the way he said the last part made you feel a bit tingly. You curse internally because what is that reaction?! Body, cooperate please! What you must feel is repulsion!

“And? What benefit do ya get from actin’ as my bodyguard? Annoyin’ the shit out of me?” You raise an eyebrow and that makes Atsumu smirk for some reason. Gosh, you want to smack that face of his whenever he has that expression on.

“Well, yeah, there’s that, but also maybe the girls who always ambush me will leave me alone now. Those girls just ignore every excuse I make and then when I get straight with them and tell ‘em off, they cry like babies.” He scoffs and you roll your eyes.

“That’s because yer an asshole.”

“Well, true.” Atsumu shrugs before narrowing his eyes at you. “Yer quite the meanie too! And for the life of me, I don’t know why its only ta me!”

“It’s because yer annoyin’ and mean! Don’t pin this on me!”

“ Oh , and the guy who literally had you pinned on the wall wasn’t worth being told off?”

“I told ya I was scared of him!”

Atsumu’s face suddenly softens which catches you off guard. You immediately bite your lower lip and try to stop the creeping heat towards your cheeks. 

“Yeah, that’s why we shouldn’t break up. I can walk ya home everyday- heck , I’d even wait for ya outside yer gym or the clubrooms just ta ensure yer safe,” he says, softly and you have to close your eyes and mutter a curse under your breath because why does it seem like you’re really dating and this asshole is pulling all his stupid cards just to get you to not break up with him?

You’re not even really dating!

This conversation is really stupid.

“I don’t get ya,” you mutter while giving him a bewildered look and he only grins, so childlike that it makes your chest hurt.

Miya, Atsumu sure is a fucking lot to handle.

You sigh, exasperated. 

“Fine. Ya better protect me from yer fangirls too! They were glarin’ at me earlier like I’m dead meat!”

The way Atsumu’s face brightens has your chest clenching tight and for a brief moment, you’re glad you’re able to make him smile that way by agreeing to such a stupid idea.

“Well, would ya look at that! That’s why I told ya breakin’ up wasn’t a good idea! I can tell them off from botherin’ the both of us because we’re datin’ and it would make sense!” He laughs like he thinks he’s the genius of the century and then smirks at you haughtily as if he just one-upped you.

Which he did. You fell right into his trap after all.

You immediately scowl because you just agreed to such a stupid idea.

“Whatever. Let’s go have lunch,” you mutter as you walk out of that little corner, intending to go back to your classroom and maybe rethink your life choices again. Atsumu grabs your wrist before you can go and your initial reaction is to glare at him. He rolls his eyes.

“Come on, let’s shake on it!”

“I am so close ta breakin’ up with ya,” you say but shake his hand anyway, ignoring how large his hands are compared to yours. You immediately pull away as if you’ve been burnt. Atsumu rolls his eyes and is just about to annoy you by attempting to touch your arm as you relentlessly dodge him when you suddenly exclaim, “Rules! We need ta make ‘em!”

Atsumu freezes in his spot and raises an eyebrow at you.

“Shoot.”

“Don’t touch me.”

Atsumu rolls his eyes and he’s just about to protest what kind of couple does that but then he sees the way you glare at him and it tells him that you really wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Fine then.

“Alright, then in exchange of that, ya haf’ta call me Atsumu.”

“Huh?!”

“Don’t ‘ huh ’ me as if you didn't hear!”

You grit your teeth and huff, turning your back towards him and walking towards where your classroom is. He follows after you, falling into easy steps beside you as usual and he leans in, trying to get you to look at him. You pout and pointedly avoid his gaze. He ignores the way you ignore him too.

“Well, I’ll take that as a ‘yes’. Any more rules?”

You look up a bit, trying to wrack your brain for an idea, but then look down back again, shrugging.

“I'll think of them as we go along the way. How ‘bout ya?” you look at him finally, gaze a bit unsure. He just smiles and looks ahead.

“Well, nothin’ for now too.”

“‘Kay.”

“ ‘Kay ,” Atsumu mocks your tone and you elbow him on his side, making him clutch it in pain as he grimaces and calls you a bitch. You stick your tongue out at him, acting like a child.

To both of your surprise, Osamu’s waiting by your class door, looking a bit grumpy, and Atsumu suspects that it’s because they were supposed to have lunch together today and that his other half isn’t quite happy that you guys made him wait. Osamu looks up, his nose scrunching up as if he just saw something unpleasant before cocking his head to the side.

“Well? Are ya love birds done canoodling now? Can we go eat?” Osamu says impatiently and Atsumu just chuckles nervously, both at his brother’s tone and at choice of words. Of course, Osamu has caught wind of this dating rumor too and of course, he’s angry. This twin of him loses all of his pleasantness when he’s hungry. He steals a glance towards you to ensure what he just said was alright with you but you didn’t look particularly bothered, just sliding the door to your class open with a blank expression.

“Ya aren’t goin’ ta join us, [Y/n]?” Atsumu calls after you when you enter the classroom. You look back at him with a frown before shaking your head and giving him a lazy wave. Well, it looks like you’re eating inside the classroom, huh. He’s just about to leave when-

“Hey, Atsumu!”

He immediately halts his steps and looks back at you, a bit surprised. Emotions of last night come rushing back to him again, you looking so sincere as you thank him and say his name, the syllables sounding nice and safe from your mouth.

Maybe the rule he made isn’t good for his heart after all.

“Can ya buy me apple juice on yer way back?” you tilt your head cutely and for some reason, Atsumu feels like his brain is crashing because you’re actually acting civil and normal towards him for once.

“Uh- ah- yeah, sure,” he says, like an idiot.

You smile a little.

“Thanks.”

Atsumu would’ve stood there forever, just gawking at you and revelling at how pretty that small smile is, if not for Osamu grabbing him by the collar and muttering about how he’ll be stealing Atsumu for lunchtime and practically dragging the bleached haired twin out of that room.

After a few minutes, just as they arrived in the cafeteria, Atsumu finally regains his senses and breaks free from Osamu, cursing him as he tries to adjust his collar back neatly. Osamu only rolls his eyes.

“So, ya datin’ her for real?”

Atsumu scoffs and averts his gaze.

“Yeah.”

“Ha! Liar!”

“M’not lyin’! Ya saw what happened earlier!” 

Osamu looks at him dubiously and Atsumu tries not to sweat. 

“Yer a habitual liar. Don’t think I don’t know when yer lyin’, I’ve known ya my whole life, ‘Tsumu.”

“I said m’not lyin’! What’s with this untrusting nature, ‘Samu?” Well, in a way, he really isn’t lying. He thinks.

Osamu just sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, annoyed at how Atsumu just wouldn’t admit things even when he’s already been caught red handed.

“Well, if yer pretendin’ ta date each other, ya better guard yer heart well or at least make her fall for ya so you won’t go cryin’ ta me like a scrub when things go wrong.”

Atsumu straightens up and Osamu takes note of how his expression hardens.

Osamu doesn’t even need to tell him. He knows the stupidity of this idea the most. He’s basically just caught himself in a trap in hopes of you possibly developing the same feelings that he has-

What feelings?

Atsumu scoffs. “I said we’re datin’ for real.”

Osamu watches him carefully before averting his gaze to say his order to the person in charge of the meals. He scoffs.

“Whatever ya say, ‘Tsumu. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.”

“Shut up, ‘Samu. So noisy.”

When you get your apple juice later, you notice that Atsumu’s clutching his arm.

“Are ya okay? What happened?” You attempt to hand him the payment but Atsumu just waves it away, scowling.

“It’s nothin’.” He plops back down on his seat.

You eventually give up trying to pay him back and just drink your apple juice in peace but the way he’s sulking bothers you. You normally didn’t care and you still don’t but then he did do you a favor this time. You eye your half-finished apple juice.

“Did Osamu-kun hurt ya?”

“I said it’s nothin’.” He scowls. You frown.

After a few seconds of you staring at your juice box, you shyly put it at the edge of his desk. He raises an eyebrow at you.

“What? Yer gonna have me throw away your trash too?”

“What? No! I would never!” You pout at him and Atsumu’s not gonna lie but it lightens his mood up a little. “I haven’t drank much of it. It’s yours now, maybe the sweetness can make you less of a sourpuss.”

“Who said I wanted it?” Atsumu asks quite harshly and you flush, in anger or in humiliation, Atsumu doesn’t know.

(It’s both.)

“Ugh! Fine, and here I am tryin’ ta be nice!” You attempt to snatch it back away from him but Atsumu’s faster, immediately taking it and moving it far away from you.

“Ya said it’s mine now!”

“Ugh! This complicated man!” You huff in anger before turning away from him and Atsumu chuckles a little because he guesses it’s your turn to sulk now.

This is pretty much the scene with the both of you everyday and he knows that with you it’s better to just let you be and calm down by yourself so he does just that. He looks at the juice box in his hand and smiles to himself. Such a stupid thing to give. Who’d want a half-finished box of apple juice?

He’s hesitant at first, a bit too hyper aware that he’ll be sharing an indirect kiss with you if he takes a sip and after a few moments of him just staring at the straw, he finally musters the courage to wrap his lips around it.

It’s sweet.

Of course, nothing much happened. It’s just juice. Atsumu really is stupid.

It’s just juice but it really makes him happy. 

Maybe Osamu’s right. He really better guard his heart well or at least make you fall for him while he still can.

Atsumu shakes his head as he stands up to discard the already empty juice box to the trash can near the classroom door. He scoffs.

What is he saying? He totally doesn’t have a crush on you.

(He’ll keep telling himself that until it becomes true.)

(It won’t.)

Chapter Text

"Eyyy, look at our cute little setter who's dating our boys team's fellow talented setter! Congratulations!" Your captain cheers, laughing with her fellow third years as they wheel a cart around the court as preparation. 

"For real! Is that where you're getting yer extra practice from?" 

"Waaah, so lucky! Though it's not really surprising." 

"Yeah, I mean, Atsumu-kun's always lingering around her, no?" 

You automatically frown, a little bit irritated that this is how your fellow teammates greet you the moment you step into the gym. It doesn't make sense how easily they accept the rumor as if you dating him was a given despite the hostility that surrounded you two. Why aren't they surprised that you and Atsumu are allegedly involved? Be more surprised, dammit! Also, yeah right, he's always lingering around you because he wants to make every second of your time at school to be annoying and miserable! 

Even now, he's not around, he still makes you angry. You grit your teeth. You can't believe he made you agree to this pretend relationship stuff. So even if it's against your will, you technically have to accept everything they say about you two because it's ' true '. 

(No, it's totally not your fault too for agreeing even though you could've just kicked his ass and refused.) 

(No, it’s totally not because maybe you’re kind of into it too.)

"I practice by myself, I don't need that scrub." You scoff. He didn't say anything about being lovey-dovey though so you'll still treat him and talk about him in the way you've always done. 

"My, such a tsundere!" 

You blush. 

"I am not a tsundere!" 

"What a tsundere thing ta say!" 

Despite the occasional teasing, practice went by without a hitch and you think your jump serve is fairly getting there too after much gruelling practice. It's gotten more ins than outs and you're pretty satisfied with the power, grinning at yourself a bit when it makes such a horrid sound upon its impact. 

The sting you feel on your palm is quite delightful. 

"Man, I always get so nervous when yer serving, [Y/n]!" Your team's libero, Kokoa, a third year, exclaims during a break, having played in the team opposite of yours earlier and you can't help the smile that threatens to split your face so you try to hide it by chugging down a water bottle. 

Kokoa grins at you though, teeth and all, competitiveness burning in her eyes as it always has been. Somehow, it reminds you of Atsumu. Hungry. Always hungry. 

"I'll still get 'em though. And receive all your spikers' spikes too." 

You put down your water bottle and grin at her back, letting out that arrogant side of yours for a little bit as you pridefully take on her challenge. 

"I'd like ta see ya try then." 

You're quite hungry too. 

***

You're fairly happy after practice ended, changing out of your clothes to put on your uniform again and gathering your things, saying goodbyes to your teammates as you exit the clubroom. 

Though your smile immediately dissipates when you see Atsumu nearby with girls flocking around him as usual. You don't know why but your chest tightens and you nearly take another route towards the school gates when you hear him say-

"Piss off already, ugly pigs. I told ya I already have a girlfriend! M'waitin' for her so scram before she sees all yer ugly faces and get the wrong idea." He says with a horrible expression and if you were one of the girls, you would've cried or punched him in the face. 

Which they did.

You feel a little bad as some collectively slapped him on the cheek/back of the head and exclaim “‘Tsumu-kun, yer so stupid!” before running away. Though you guess you feel a little bad for those girls too but you think it’s partly their fault for liking such an unlikeable guy in the first place.

( Maybe, they just can’t help it , a voice inside your head says.)

He looks at your direction as if sensing your gaze on him and even though he’s holding his red cheek, he doesn’t really seem that fazed about the whole thing.

Atsumu turns his chin up and cocks his head towards the direction where the girls ran. “I told ya. They’re such a pain in the ass. Hopefully, they’ll leave me alone now.” He scoffs as he walks towards you. 

You only stare at him, observing this guy in front of you with as much scrutiny as you can. You look at his hooded eyes, brown orbs staring back at you a bit condescendingly, that nose that he scrunches whenever he gets mad at whatever comes out your mouth or when he’s trashtalking Osamu, that trademark smirk quickly forming on his lips as always, and that piss-colored hair that you vividly remember used to be black. You hate to admit it but he does look attractive. You haven’t really looked at him properly ever since that training camp, refusing to acknowledge that this force of nature is now part of your life, but now that you’ve looked you guess you really can’t fault the girls earlier.

Especially since he took your breath away the first time you laid your eyes on him too, his fingers setting the ball on where it’s supposed to be and even though two blockers came, his spiker was able to spike it with such ease.

The setter’s job is to create a path for the spikers after all.

He smiles at you, expression softening just a bit and your chest tightens again.

Why?

"Yer such an asshole." 

His eyebrows immediately knit together. 

"Is that the first thing yer gonna say ta yer boyfriend after he just rejected a buncha girls for ya?" 

You blush, a bit embarrassed at how he referred to himself, “Shut up! Lemme see that!”

You distract him by pulling his face close to you and immediately tilting it so you can get a better look at his cheek, checking for a scratch since he did get hit pretty hard. It catches him off guard because he remains silent throughout the whole thing and he looks a bit dazed when you finally let go of him.

The daze is momentarily though because even though his voice shakes a little, he immediately throws a quip towards you.

“Oh? Yer concerned for me now? What a nice girlfriend.”

(Atsumu has to bite the inside of his cheek after that sentence, heart racing because he can’t believe he can get away with calling you his and have everyone believe it.)

Your heart skips a beat and you were about to tell him off when you hear whistles coming from behind you. 

You whip around to find your teammates giving you sly grins and you don't know why, it's not like it's the first time you two were teased before, but you blush more and have to push Atsumu to move already just so you can escape their attempts to embarrass you. You're pretty sure Atsumu would delight in it too and you have to get him away before he pulls off some stupid stunt just to rile you up considering what just happened.

"Guess it reached them too, huh?" 

"F'course it did. I don't know why everyone cares ‘bout it honestly.” You pull away and settle just beside him so you can walk side by side and Atsumu doesn’t know why but it makes him nervous how you’re going along with walking home with him even though this is his idea in the first place.

He thinks it’s cute how you’re being so cooperative.

(Heck, you’ve always been cute.)

 “Well, I am pretty popular.”

You roll your eyes but don’t say anything back about it because it’s true. Even though you’re both just first years, you’ve seen how some upperclassmen looked at him with some reverence in their eyes.

You hate it. He’s just a highschooler just like you so why?

“Where’s Osamu-kun?”

Atsumu’s face immediately scrunches in distaste.

“Why’re ya lookin’ for him?”

“So walkin’ home with ya won’t be as intolerable as it is.”

“Rude!” He raises his hand to pinch you but you immediately raise one too to block it.

“No touching!”

“Oh, right.” 

You think he’s surprisingly compliant despite it all but then now that you look back, Atsumu’s always been considerate when it truly matters and the moment he forgets or gets overbearing and you tell him off, he immediately backs away without as much a witty remark or complaint. Maybe, that’s why he got so angry when he saw you get cornered the other day. You bite your lower lip.

Dammit, why are you starting to appreciate him now?

“Seriously, where’s yer twin?”

“He went ahead with Suna. Ya happy now?” He scoffs, a bit bitter as to why you’re looking for Osamu when he’s literally right there.

“Lame.”

“Yer the lame one."

“ Yer the super-duper lame one.”

He raises his hand in an attempt to lightly shove you but you catch it with one of your hands so he has to use his free hand to try to do the deed again but you catch it with your free hand too and moments later you both find your hands intertwined and pushing each other as you try to overpower Atsumu and vice versa. But, of course, despite you having a decent amount of strength from years of doing volleyball, the same could be said about Atsumu.

(Doesn’t mean you don’t hold up though. You are still quite strong.)

(It just pisses you off that he’s stronger.)

“Idiot, idiot, idiot ! Let go!”

“ You let go, idiot!”

You contemplate biting him but then grimace at the thought of having your mouth on his skin so you did the next best thing you could think of. Kick his shins.

He easily falls apart, half-shouting a curse and your name, but it makes you fall over a bit too because he is still holding your hand after all, something you didn’t think about, and you nearly topple over him if you hadn’t immediately caught your footing.

Even when he’s at the ground and pressing his leg close to his chest as he tries to process the pain, he doesn’t let go of your hands and when you try to tug it free, he just holds on tighter, making you yelp in pain.

“It hurts!”

“ This, ” he looks down at his leg, “hurts too and ya don’t see me complainin’!”

“I hear ya complainin’! Even feel it too! If ya don’t let go, I’ll drop kick ya ta the ground, I swear-”

“Sheesh!” He lets go of you, which makes you stumble back a bit, because you’re pulling away too in the first place. Atsumu watches as you nearly fall into traffic and fear and adrenaline rush has him reaching for you, large hand encircling on your wrist as he pulls you back to him.

You don’t really know what happened or what you’re supposed to feel when you feel Atsumu’s warmth full force, the hand that pulled you into him now resting on the back of your head as he presses you close to him, his other arm wrapping around your waist.

“ Fuck . Ya scared me,” he murmurs in your ear, soft and a bit nervous.

You feel like your face is about to blow up from overheating and you try to rationalize that the way your heart is racing isn’t because of Atsumu but because you literally nearly stumbled back into traffic and might’ve gotten into an unfortunate accident if it were not for him.

You can’t even pull away from the shock and Atsumu doesn’t let go of you either, if anything he just hugs you tighter, before finally taking his hands off of you and resting it on the ground as support when he leans away.

You miss the way his eyes can’t seem to focus on your face because you can’t look at him either, just content on staring at his chest as you try to stop yourself from freaking out.

“Geez, we really should stop messin’ around when we’re on the streets. Come on, can ya stand?” 

“Y-yeah. Sorry. Thank you.”

“Sorry too.”

Despite all that, it’s Atsumu who stands first and he holds his hand out to support you as you stand but you ignore it, wobbling by yourself as you try to put power back on your legs just to hide the shame you feel from literally melting in his embrace.

(You’re so screwed. You’re so screwed. )

He just scoffs at his attempt to help being rejected but he steps over your spot and nudges you to the side so he’s the one close to the streets. You just let him and it isn’t long before you two are walking side by side again like nothing happened, except you both are quiet now and you find it a bit stifling. You really don’t know what to say since Atsumu’s always the one to initiate conversations and just when you gathered the courage to open your mouth, he speaks over you.

“So about the-” “Oh, do ya wanna get-”

You both look at each other.

You grip the strap of your bag.

“You first,” you say.

“No, you first.”

“Atsumu,” you say in a tone that’s a bit like you’re softly but sternly telling someone to confess to his crimes already and Atsumu can’t help but melt a little bit because it somehow feels… domestic.

(Gosh, maybe he’s way in too over his head.)

He scratches the back of his head. “I was just wonderin’ if ya’d like to get meat buns with me. That old lady’s store is nearby.”

You perk up, familiar with the said store but then you immediately frown.

“We’re goin’ home already though and dinner…”

“Yeah but we burn a lot of calories so we haf’ta eat a lot too. You have a healthy appetite too from what I’ve seen so-” he shrugs- “Don’t force yerself though if ya don’t want to.”

“I want to,” you say shyly and Atsumu has to look away and walk ahead before he just combusts and admit that he has a crush on you.

( No, he doesn’t! Keep it together, Atsumu! )

“Well, let’s go already!”

“Why’re ya in such a hurry, ya scrub!” 

Atsumu scowls at you when you shove him a bit when you catch up to him and he then whines that what if what happened earlier happened to him.

You pout. “Sorry, geez, I didn’t even push ya that hard!”

He rolls his eyes then slides the door open to the shop, announcing both of your presence.

“So, what were ya about ta say earlier?” He asks before greeting the old lady just near the entrance with a cheerful smile. You couldn’t even answer him at first because you’re greeting her too and she even reaches to give you a hug, patting you on the back gingerly like a doting grandma would.

“My, it’s such a rare sight for ‘Samu-chan ta not be with ya ‘Tsumu-chan. And for ya two to be here together! I didn’t even know you know each other!”

“Well, we’re classmates, Asahara-san,” you say nervously and then takes a side-glance at Atsumu and he apparently does the same because your eyes meet for a brief second before your attention shifts to the old lady again.

“Really? I hope both of ya are gettin’ along well.” She smiles kindly and you chuckle nervously because you literally were just bickering before coming to the shop.

“We’re datin’ granny so I guess we’re gettin’ along well.”

You nearly choke on your own spit and you find yourself gripping Atsumu’s arm because what the hell?! He just smirks at you mischievously as you widen your eyes at him as a warning but before you can tell him off, you hear granny giggling like a schoolgirl, hands hiding her mouth as she regards you two, amused. 

“I see. Ah, young love.”

Somehow, you can’t find it in your heart to deny what Atsumu just said when Asahara-san looks at you both so happily.

“How many meat buns ya want?” Atsumu asks, always so brash but you guess you’re grateful for the sudden topic change because you are not about to indulge the old lady about your pretend relationship.

“Two.”

“We’ll take five, granny!”

“Alright, alright. Wait a bit, ‘Tsumu-chan.”

“Yer eatin’ three? Ya do realize our house isn’t too far from here, right?”

“Who ya think yer talkin’ to? I’m ‘Samu’s twin, I can inhale a bun or two in seconds too!”

You roll your eyes. “What’s the point? Ya should be savorin’ this stuff, ya know?”

“Hey! Ya ordered two when ya say we’re near home so shut up!”

“Huh? Ya tellin’ me ta shut up, ya scrub-”

“You two remind me so much of me and my husband,” Asahara-san says as she rings up the cashier with wrinkly fingers and that immediately shuts you and Atsumu up. Atsumu asks you for your payment and you give it to him before he hands the whole pay to the old lady. You raise an eyebrow.

“Err, are you two doin’ well, Asahara-san? Is he treatin’ ya like crap? I’ll beat him up for ya-”

“[Y/n], stop actin’ like a delinquent and, also, don’t beat up grandpas!”

You glare at Atsumu and he grits his teeth at you. You’re about to poke both of his eyes when Asahara-san just giggles and hands Atsumu his change.

“We’re doin’ well. I love him very much despite him bein’ difficult,” she says fondly as she hands over the plastic with the meat buns too. “Well, I guess he’ll say I’m difficult as well!” She chortles and somehow you find yourselves smiling along with her. You do have a soft spot for the lady after all and you figure Atsumu does too with how gently he’s treating her.

“Ya wanna stay here for a bit or should we eat on the way?” Atsumu leans over to you and whispers.

“Is it alright if we stay here a bit? I do wanna discuss our project too.”

He grimaces but mutters ‘sure’ anyway.

You inform Asahara-san that you both will keep her company a bit and she just nods and thanks you both, reminding you that if you need anything you can tell her. You smile and bow at her as thanks before sitting on the free table just a little bit inside the shop, Atsumu already waiting there with a meat bun on hand.

“So I think the best place ta do it is the library.”

Atsumu knits his brows together.

“Lame. It’s too quiet, I’ll fall asleep in there,” he says before eating half of his bun which startles you a bit because just how wide is his mouth?

(But then you’ve seen Osamu put a whole yakisoba bread in his mouth one time when Atsumu challenged him so you guess that’s just on their genes.)

You knit your brows together too.

“Uh? The point in doing it there is it’s because it’s quiet and ya can concentrate? And don’t worry ‘bout fallin’ asleep, I’ll smack ya awake.”

He finishes his first meat bun and reaches for another one and immediately stuffs it in his mouth. Somewhere deep inside you, you hope he chokes but then another part reprimands you because maybe you’re being too harsh on him.

“How ‘bout my house?” You swat at him for talking with his mouth full but he just ignores you, just as he ignores what you just said. You scoff.

“I don’t really wanna be in your territory. Worse, am I gonna be alone with ya?”

“No, duh. I don’t wanna be alone with ya either. ‘Samu and mum’s gonna be there.” He rolls his eyes as if that’s obvious. Sometimes, you wonder about your self-control because if you didn’t have one, you surely would’ve karate chopped him in the throat. 

Atsumu urges you to eat already because he’s just about to finish his second meat bun so you begrudgingly peel open one of your buns and take a huge bite off of it.

“What ‘bout yer house then if yer so against mine?”

You glare at him as you chew your food properly unlike this caveman in front of you. He just sticks his tongue out at you.

You don’t really want him to meet your mom.

You swallow. “Ya really don’t want ta go ta the library? We can get sources from there too.”

“Then how ‘bout we go there tomorrow after practice then borrow what we need and then use them on the weekends?”

You sigh and then just quietly continue to eat your meat bun, trying to wrack your brain on how you’re gonna make him compromise or if you’re able to get your mom to leave home on the weekends.

“Geez, don’t worry. We can work in the living room if yer so wary. I won’t do anythin’ ta ya, I swear. And as I said, mum and ‘Samu’s gonna be there too. Especially ‘Samu. He’s gonna be there ta grind my gears.” He puts what remains of the second bun in his mouth before opening up the third one just as you’re finishing your first. You chew carefully, giving him a dubious look and he just raises an eyebrow at you.

You get to your second bun just as he’s swallowing the first bite of his third.

“So?”

You sigh.

“Fine, fine.”

“‘Kay.”

Asahara-san watches you two fondly and she smiles to herself when she sees just how Atsumu’s looking at you when you aren’t looking back at him and she thinks to herself that, yep . 

You two remind her of her and her husband after all.

***

Just as you bid your goodbyes to the old woman, you come across an old man in the entrance and when Asahara-san’s all flowery and smiles, this man looks like he’s perpetually pissed the whole time despite him bowing as greeting towards you and Atsumu. You both bow back politely.

“Ya both here often?”

“Yes, sir,” you answer and try to smile. Atsumu snorts at your attempt and you immediately pinch his elbow, which makes him yelp. The old man just shakes his head at your antics and you didn’t see it clearly but you feel like you saw a shadow of a smile on his lips as he does so.

“Well, thanks for stayin’ round and lookin’ out for my wife.”

“Don’t worry, grandpa. Granny’s real nice.” Atsumu puts up a thumbs up and you cringe. He catches the gesture and it’s his turn to pinch you on the elbow, earning him a smack on his hand.

“F’course, she is! She’s my angel!” The old man huffs proudly before entering the shop. You hear Atsumu snort and say something scrubby but you don’t really hear it because you’re too busy catching a glimpse of the old couple and wondering if you’ll be able to experience that kind of love. Where the old man’s hard expression immediately softens as soon as he sees his wife and despite it looking like Asahara-san said a smartass remark by the way he scowls, you can still see the love on his face.

Atsumu snaps his fingers in front of you to catch your attention.

“Hey! That’s so rude, ya should listen ta people when they’re talkin’ ta ya!”

You scowl at him.

“As if you listen, you scrub!”

Atsumu rolls his eyes. 

You two remind me so much of me and my husband.

You furrow your eyebrows at Atsumu and he just sticks his tongue out at you.

In what way, Asahara-san?

Chapter Text

"So what was that about not liking [Surname], Atsumu? Even my classmates are talking 'bout it. Is it true yer datin’ her after all?"

Atsumu flinches and immediately looks towards the wall to avoid Aran’s gaze and by extension, all of his peers’ gazes, their eyes boring holes in the back of his head. He’s lucky Kita isn’t in yet, probably a bit late because a teacher asked him for a favor. Osamu scoffs next to him but internally laughing at how stupid his brother is being, but then, what’s new? Atsumu’s always been a bit of a dumbass.

(He’s not one to talk.)

The club room door opens and in comes Suna, scanning the room a bit upon entry since it’s unusual for it to be this quiet but when he sees how everyone seems to be staring at the twins, specifically Atsumu, he gets it and pushes the door close. Atsumu turns to him in an attempt to make small talk and maybe disperse the tension in the room but when he sees Suna’s judging eyes and hear-

“You clown.”

-come out of the middle blocker’s mouth, he turns his head to look at the wall again. Fuck!

When a few minutes pass and not a single peep comes out of Atsumu (he’s trying his best to come up with a bullshit explanation but he’s drawing a blank), Osamu finally takes it upon himself to explain his twin’s predicament.

“He’s-” Osamu’s cut short, yelping in pain and stumbling forwards a bit when he feels Atsumu’s knee make contact with his rear. He curses and rubs the damaged area before looking back and glaring at his brother.

“What the fuck, ‘Tsumu?!”

“Shut up, ‘Samu!” Atsumu sneers, eyes giving some sort of warning for the other to not continue before facing his teammates head on, determination ablaze like he’s about to explain his way out of some sort of crime when in reality, it’s just about ‘dating’ you.

(Which isn’t even true. And whether or not it’s true, the Inarizaki boys’ volleyball team won’t even care that much anyway. It’s free real estate to tease Atsumu either way it goes.)

“Yeah, we’re datin’.”

“Why’re ya being so hesitant about it though? Seems fishy,” Akagi teases lightheartedly and Atsumu flinches ever so slightly. He doesn’t know why he’s so worked up about it but he just can’t seem to calm his heart down at the thought of him lying to his precious team’s face about dating a girl that hates his guts. He hates that it’s pretend. He hates it so much.

(If it was real, he would be harping about it non stop though.)

“Maybe [Surname] didn’t want it ta be known in the first place. It was a secret,wasn’t it? Is she mad at ya now that it’s the talk of the school?” Aran chuckles as he unbuttons his school shirt before shrugging it off and getting his workout shirt.

“She’s always mad at him though,” Suna says as he walks further inside the room and sets his bag down to get to his lockers. Ginjima snorts.

“Maybe it’s just an act she puts up so they won’t get found out.”

“Why’re they keepin’ it a secret in the first place?” Yuto asks as he sits crossed leg on the bench in the middle of the clubroom, just waiting for everyone to finish up.

“I’d want it ta be kept a secret too if I’m dating ‘Tsumu,” Osamu spits out, giving up and just rolling along this whole pretend dating stuff, and Atsumu grits his teeth angrily at his twin, exclaiming- “The hell does that mean?!”

The twins bicker a bit, Akagi laughing at the grey haired twin’s quip, but they eventually shut up when the clubroom door swings open again and Kita and Omimi greet them politely. It’s not until later, when they’re out of the clubroom, that Suna picks up the topic again.

“Not that I particularly care but I’m just really curious. If you’re not a masochist then why do you like her? I don’t think she’s that special, no offense.”

Atsumu takes full offense in every statement that just came out of Suna’s mouth anyway.

“ Huh?! Are ya blind?! She’s very special, pretty, and she’s really good at volleyball! Have ya seen some of her plays?! She’s a good setter, good at receiving, her straights aren't that bad either, though I guess her serves still need a little work but-!”

“Oh, so yer a masochist and she’s good at volleyball. Got it.” Osamu adds next to him. Atsumu crashes his shoulder with his brother in annoyance.

“I’m not!” Atsumu whines,  “Also, she’s a very nice girl towards other people! Has a bit of a temper but she’s realy nice!”

“Towards other people, he says. Maybe she’s mean to you because you’re a masochist,” Suna says with a smirk and Atsumu narrows his eyes at his friend.

“Yer on thin fucking ice.”

Suna only rolls his eyes, smirk still in its pretty place. Atsumu’s fun to tease since, when it really comes down to it, he’s actually pretty lame. You’d admire him for a bit for something really cool he did but you’ll go back to thinking he’s a clown after 2 or 3 seconds just because of what he says or how he acts after that cool stunt. Maybe that’s Atsumu’s charm since despite all that, he still has quite a following, girls always crowding and cheering for him and Osamu on the balcony whenever they allow audiences during practice matches. Suna has never seen you attend one of their practice matches but then he guesses you’re pretty busy with practice too.

“What did she say she likes about you then?”

Osamu glances at his twin upon Suna’s question and he sees how Atsumu pouts, irritated that he’s being interrogated about this.

“How should I know? Ask her.”

Suna looks on ahead.

Maybe he will.

***

“What do you like about Atsumu, [Surname]?” Suna asks as the four of you are heading towards the school gates one fine evening, already on the way home with Atsumu walking you back as always, but this time Osamu and Suna insisted that they come along too. You didn’t really mind so you agreed even though Atsumu was seething behind you the whole time the conversation was transpiring.

Your eyes widen, a bit stunned at the sudden question but you’re pretty quick to recover, looking at Atsumu straight in the eyes before saying-

“I don’t know.”

Suna and Osamu snort and try to hold in their laughter at the same time Atsumu gasps, offended.

“What do ya mean ya don’t know?! Yer datin’ me!”

“Oh shut it! I don’t know, okay?! Do I need a reason to want ta date ya?!”

“At least say cause I’m the coolest or somethin’!”

You scoff. “I wouldn’t want ta lie.”

Osamu and Suna hold on to each other as they laugh, clearly mocking Atsumu and Atsumu has to pull you a bit to the side to have a talk. You frown at his hold on your arm but he’s too busy trying to fuss over the details to you to notice your tiny displeasure at the action.

“Geez, do ya want this ta be believable or not?” He whispers with a sense of urgency.

You yank your arm away from him and pat your blazer. “Who cares? Besides, Osamu’s yer twin, doesn’t twins have those mind sync thingy? Doesn’t he smell bullshit already?”

Atsumu doesn’t tell you that, yes , Osamu did smell it even after you both just had the Conversation but that’s besides the point.

“I care! Don’t ya think it’d be embarrassin’ for this whole thing ta blow up then just be revealed to be a fraud? Bet that basketball guy would give me so much shit. Not just him too.” Atsumu clicks his tongue and scratches the back of his head. You frown and grip the strap of your school bag.

“If we denied it in the first place, this wouldn’t even be an issue.”

“Well, yeah, it’s stupid looking back but ya already agreed ta it too, did ya not?”

You frown more and click your tongue, glaring at him with contempt and Atsumu would normally don’t care if it was any other human but you giving him that look makes him angry so he just decides to press his pointer finger in between your brows, making you stumble a bit from the force.

“The hell?!”

“If ya frown so much, you’ll get wrinkles early.”

“ You’ll give me wrinkles early. I always get so stressed when I’m with you,” you mumble, pressing your fingers on your temple this time, trying to calm yourself down from being offended by Atsumu doing literally nothing. Man, you don’t really know why his presence gets you so riled up. Just him being near you makes you want to throw hands for no reason at all.

Atsumu smirks and before he can think on it, words just automatically come out his mouth. “That’s okay. I plan ta stay by yer side ‘till yer old anyways. Wouldn’t make much of a difference.”

You flush and Atsumu gets the urge to run away.

“ Why you-! ”

“Heyyy, ya two gonna keep arguin’ back there or do ya have any plans ta go home?” Osamu calls after the both of you just as you were raising a hand to hit Atsumu’s chest. You and Atsumu look at him and then back at each other before sighing and walking together back to where Suna and Osamu is.

“Sorry for interrupting your love quarrel but it is getting pretty dark.” Suna teases as both of you trudge solemnly beside each other, your mood obviously sour but Atsumu’s a bit cheery because you reacted to him in such a way. He doesn’t know if that blush is out of anger or if it’s because it made you shy but he chooses not to dwell on it that much and just revel at the way your cheeks redden because of him.

You refuse to look at him after that, opting on talking to either Suna and Osamu about school, volleyball practice and Atsumu’s lameness, anything to get your attention off of him next to you, because you can’t get it out of your mind that Atsumu may have flirted with you just earlier. But then he always says things like that. Doesn’t he? You don’t know anymore. Your mind’s all jumbled up and it’s because of this… this … guy!

You glare at him and Atsumu just narrows his eyes at you, a bit wary as to why he’s receiving such a deathly look again when he’s the one who should be annoyed because he’s being blatantly bullied by you three. You eventually rip your gaze away from him and that just has him questioning what the hell he did.

“Oh! Do ya guys wanna get meat buns from granny’s store?” Osamu perks up when he spots the store lights at the distance and you thought for a bit that it was Atsumu who just spoke. Well, they are twins after all. You wonder why Osamu doesn’t really get on your nerves despite him and Atsumu having the same face and, sometimes, behavior.

“Why not?” Atsumu also perks up beside you, brushing shoulders with you for a bit as he leans in and asks Suna, who’s on your other side, if he wants some too. For some reason, that brush makes you feel as if lightning just shot down your whole arm. You grimace. Is that static or-

“Do ya want some too, [Y/n]?” Atsumu turns his gaze to you as he smiles and you try to look at him straight in the face without being flustered at how cute his smile is. Shit, did you just think that?!

“Yeah,” you mutter, a bit ashamed of your thoughts.

“Two, right?”

“Yeah.”

You both don’t say it but going to Asahara-san’s store has become part of your routine on your walk home so this is not really something new to you and Atsumu. You suspect that Atsumu always rushes Osamu to go home before him so you both will get alone time, but then why would he do that? To create the illusion of you dating? You’ve gone home with him a few times before all this shebang but it was always with Osamu in tow. 

You don’t want to admit it but you’re getting quite used to having just Atsumu for company on your walk home. The thought of having Osamu and Suna getting part of this routine too feels a bit… intrusive.

You bite your lower lip as all of you pool your money together. What the hell?

“Buy it, ‘Tsumu. We’ll be waitin’ for ya outside.”

“Huh?! Don’t ya wanna greet granny?!”

“Next time. Just hurry, hurry!” 

You step up, “Then I’ll go with him.” You want to see Asahara-san, that’s all. You avoid Atsumu’s gaze.

“Nah, stay here with us, [Surname]. Let Atsumu do it.” Suna chuckles and you look at him, his narrow eyes staring right ahead at Atsumu. You take a glance towards Osamu too. His expression holds a bit of mirth on them despite him being blank faced as ever and it looks like he’s making an effort to look ahead too.

Huh. Do they want you to stay back so they can interrogate you? Suna did ask that question earlier after all. Do they think you’re just messing with Atsumu? Or have they caught up that this whole thing with Atsumu is all pretend? Or maybe it’s because of how you treat Atsumu and that they’re here to reprimand you? Will they ask you to break up with him? You frown.

“Hurry then,” you say and Atsumu scowls, snatching the money from Osamu’s palm and indignantly stomping towards the store, sliding the door open with such force that you hope he didn’t startle Asahara-san that much. When the store door slides close, the two look back at you expectantly.

You tilt your head. “What?”

Suna and Osamu stare at you a bit more before the latter shrugs and says, “Do ya really like ‘Tsumu?”

You purse your lips and Suna watches the action. You stay quiet, just staring back at them with an expression that practically screams defiant and somehow Suna finds himself thinking that you really are Atsumu’s girlfriend.

Osamu thinks otherwise though.

After a minute of silence, Osamu shifts so he’s fully facing you. He doesn’t have super faith in Atsumu and it’s not like Atsumu listens to whatever he says either. For some reason, Osamu feels like you’re going to be his twin’s downfall and Atsumu gets super annoying when he’s down in the dumps so, for once, even if it isn’t really Osamu’s business, he’ll step in for a bit for damage control.

“If ya don’t like ‘Tsumu, ya should break up with ‘im.”

Suna’s eyes widen a bit as he whips his head to look at Osamu, not expecting this confrontation at all. He was not expecting Osamu to be a bit hostile too, evident in his tone of voice.

“M’not breaking up with him then.”

Suna’s and Osamu’s eyes widen, a bit surprised. You narrow your eyes at them, annoyed. That's the first time that glare has been directed at them and it scares them a bit, wondering how the hell Atsumu deals with this intensity on a daily basis.

“I like Atsumu very much. I think he’s the coolest in the world even if he’s a bit stupid but I like his stupidity too. I think he’s pretty cute when he smiles. I’m telling ya, it was the happiest I’ve been when he confessed ta me.”

Osamu and Suna stare at you, flabbergasted, especially Osamu because never in his life did he expect you to say all these. He legitimately thinks you hate his brother after all. This whole dating thing was a bit of a whiplash for him too since he’s the only person who’s been in both your vicinity the most, watching you and Atsumu practically lash out at each other every moment you get.

So… why?

Osamu narrows his eyes. 

“Did he tell ya ta say this while ya guys were bickerin’ back there?”

You frown and Suna gets the urge to tell Osamu to cut it off already.

“No? Even if he did, why would I do it? I’m sorry if ya don’t like me for yer brother Osamu-kun but m’not breakin’ up with him,” you say with finality and bow politely towards him. You internally curse inside your head. Why are you doing this?! You guess it’s your pride working against you once again but it really annoys you that Osamu seems to think you’re not good enough for his brother. Not good enough for Atsumu?! Please. That’s the biggest insult in your life.

You raise your head to find Suna nervously looking at Osamu and Osamu looking at you a bit unsure, mostly because he just received one of the biggest shocks in his life. Was Atsumu saying the truth after all?! What is this? 

You bit on your lower lip as you fidget with the ends of your skirt. “M’sorry if ya don’t like me Osamu-kun but...”

“No, no, I like ya plenty, [Y/n], it’s just that…” Osamu cuts himself short and sighs, “Nevermind.”

Suna looks back and forth between you two and he finds himself thinking he wishes he’d gone inside with Atsumu because this is awkward.

Thankfully, Atsumu soon slides the shop door open again with a plastic bag in hand. You see Asahara-san wave at you with a smile from behind him and you wave and smile back, Suna and Osamu doing the same. 

Osamu glances at you and bows a bit towards your direction in what you take as apology before he takes his and Suna’s portion of the meat buns and walks ahead with the middle blocker. Atsumu raises an eyebrow.

“The hell’s wrong with ‘im?”

You blush as you peel open one of your meat buns and stuff it inside your mouth.

“Nuffin.”

Atsumu nudges you gently. “Hey, don’t talk with yer mouth full.”

You roll your eyes at him, chewing the bite carefully before swallowing, “Yer not one ta talk!”

“Did ya pick a fight with him and Sunarin?” Atsumu looks at you, horrified and you pout.

When you don’t answer, his jaw nearly drops.

“Seriously?! Yer pickin’ fights with my brother and friends too now?!”

“Hey, I didn’t! And I’m pretty sure it’s not a fight! Maybe! It’s- Osamu-kun- Aish! Whatever!” You pinch him on the elbow and he yelps and jumps back, gritting his teeth at you as he clutches the plastic bag towards him. He looks at you dubiously again and you look away, pouting, cheeks flushed.

“He asked if I really liked ya and that if I don’t I should just break up with ya.”

Atsumu perks up. That Osamu-!

“What’dya say? Did ya tell ‘em it’s all pretend?”

You look away more, refusing to make eye contact with him because it’s just coming back to you what you said earlier and you’re embarrassed as all hell. Atsumu scowls and is just about to nag you again when he catches a glimpse at how red your ears are. 

He brushes your hair back so he can see it more clearly and you immediately whip around to look at him, face red and cheeks full of meat bun as one of your hands fly to cover the ear he just touched. 

Atsumu’s heartbeat quickens.

You look so pretty. 

You look away again, seemingly trying to hide how you chew your food quickly so you can reprimand him but Atsumu’s too stunned to even throw a teasing remark towards your way. It’s only seconds before you’re grabbing his arm and dragging him along as you both hurry up to catch up to Osamu and Suna.

“Shut up! Let’s just say I told him I’m not breakin’ up with ya!”

Atsumu feels butterflies in his stomach and your hand on his arm is so warm, he likes it very much. He tries to hide his face with his free hand lest that you see just how red his face is too. After a while, he leans down to whisper to you.

“S-should we hold hands?”

You look up at him, startled. He quickly rips his gaze away from you, physically can’t handle seeing you look up at him lest he combust, looking ahead as he mutters, “Since they’re doubtin’ so much. I just thought maybe we should show ‘em we do couple things too, I guess.”

You stay quiet for a while but he can still feel your gaze searing hot on his skin and he nearly jumps when he feels your hand slide down to hold his large ones. He nearly drops the plastic bag he’s holding on that hand too.

“Do ya wanna hold hands or not?” You hiss at him and he can’t even answer back as he clumsily transfers the plastic bag to his other hand and slides his sweaty hand with yours again, so nervous, heart hammering inside his chest.

He feels like a little bit of him dies when you hold his hand tightly as you stare ahead and nibble at your meat bun.

Fuck. He’s so happy right now.

Osamu and Suna spare a glance behind and are pleasantly surprised to see you both holding hands and eating meat buns while utterly flustered.

Osamu looks back ahead, shakes his head and sighs. “He’s tellin’ the truth after all.”

Suna snorts, “She likes his stupidity too,huh.”

It’s one of Atsumu’s charm after all.

Chapter Text

Weekend arrives, so even if it’s against your will, that means it’s time for you and Atsumu to do the damn project.

You both agreed to meet up after lunch and even though he insisted to fetch you from your house, you insisted more that there’s no need and that he should just draw you a map to where their house is. You got into a heated argument about it but you and Atsumu eventually settled on him waiting in the convenience store on the way and walking the short distance away from his house together.

You honestly hate it when Atsumu babies you as if you aren’t a capable person when you’re on your own. Heck, you’d bet that you’re even more capable than him. You huff in front of the mirror as you fix your hair and pat your clothes to fix the unnecessary creases, eventually slinging your bag over your shoulder and checking the mirror one more time to see if anything’s amiss.

“Ooh~ What ya lookin’ all pretty for? You going on a date, [Nickname]? I thought it was a group project.” Your mother coos when she catches sight of you in the living room just as you were headed for the entrance to put some shoes on. 

“What?! No! It is a group project!” You fluster, hurrying along to avoid getting interrogated but she follows after you anyway, a lighthearted smile on her lips. 

“Ehhh~ But you don’t usually wear that unless yer tryin’ ta look real nice. Is one of your groupmates cute? What’s his name?” She even sits with you on the genkan, nudging you with her shoulder and you can’t help but roll your eyes.

“Muuum.”

“Oh! Yer blushin’!” She pokes your cheek and you gently brush her off before hurriedly standing up even though your shoes aren’t properly on yet, stumbling clumsily as you reach for the door, eager to get out of her sight. This is why you didn’t want her to see Atsumu. She surely will barrage him with questions and it doesn’t help either that you’re both pretending to be dating. You think that it’s overkill if you both lie EVEN to your parents but knowing Atsumu, he’ll take the chance just to inconvenience you.

“Don’t do anythin’ I wouldn’t do, okay?” She calls after you, giggling, just as you’re shutting the door close and you mutter a “yes, mum” out of habit. You sigh and fix your shoes and then your clothes again after you’re done. You look down.

It’s not like you picked these clothes to impress Atsumu! You just happen to feel like dressing up a bit today. You grumble to yourself about it as you make your way to that convenience store, checking your phone to text the bleached haired twin that you’re on the way.

***

“That’s my jacket.”

“Can I borrow it?” 

Osamu frowns. “You can ask that once ya return the damn thing first.”

Atsumu just ignores him as he puts on his shoes and calls for their mom that he’ll be back soon. Osamu perks up. 

Oh right. You’re coming over because of a group project.

It’s not like it’s the first time they’ve invited people over but he thinks that you’re the first girl their age that will step foot in their house. Will Atsumu take this chance to introduce you as his girlfriend too to their mother? Aren’t you guys moving a bit too fast? Osamu scratches the back of his head. This whole thing honestly baffles him since it seems so illogical and unreal but whenever he thinks back on how you two shyly held hands that one time Suna and him walked home with you, he can’t help but think it’s legit.

He looks up the ceiling.

Whatever.

Atsumu checks his phone multiple times for a new message, hoping you’d reply to his last message saying that he’s on his way and that he can’t wait to see you but, alas, just as always, it’s all in vain, the bluetick staring back at him tauntingly. That doesn’t dampen his mood though even as he pockets his phone because today will be the day he’ll see you in casual clothes for the first time. He’s so excited, he can’t wipe the smile off his face. Maybe he should’ve agreed on studying in the library so he could make some moves on you but then silently arguing over things doesn’t sound fun at all.

When he turns the corner to where the convenience store is, he has to hold his breath because he thinks he’s just seen an angel. It looks like you’ve just arrived too as you scan the surrounding before hesitantly going inside the store. Atsumu checks his phone again and sure enough, there’s a new message saying [I’m here.]

Atsumu has to turn back a bit, hiding behind a wall as he crouches down and has a mini meltdown. You’re so cute, your hair all done up and your style suits you so well too. He briefly wonders what face should he put on when he finally faces you and if he can even handle being in the same vicinity as you when you look that cute. He ruffles his hair and sighs, red tainting his cheeks.

Yeah, maybe he has a crush on you, okay? It’s pretty stupid to deny it at this point when lately all he can think about is your face happily munching on the meat bun or whatever snacks you guys bought from Asahara-san and your warm hand that he held once when Osamu and Suna were nearby.

His phone makes a sound again and he has to force himself to get his shit together when your text reads-

[Where are you? Don’t make me wait. >:( ]

Atsumu stands up and takes a deep breath, one hand over his chest as if that’ll help him calm down his heart. He’s pretty sure it’s gonna start acting up again though once he’s near you so he just decides to go fuck it and just get it over with.

When the automatic doors of the convenience store opens, he was expecting you to be near the entrance, arms crossed and ready to nag him but he’s kinda pleasantly surprised to see that that’s not the case at all. He wanders the store a bit and he finally spots you near the section where the drinks are, hunching over as you scan them one by one.

“Hey.”

You turn to look at him and he wonders how he somehow manages to look at the drinks aisle with you in it as if it’s the most breathtaking sight he has ever seen. He has to blink twice to set himself straight but it doesn’t really change much and he swears he feels as if he’s gonna have a heart attack when you smile a bit at him and motion him over.

Yeah, maybe he has the BIGGEST, FATTEST crush on you, okay?

“There ya are. Took ya long enough! Help me pick drinks.”

Atsumu tries to shuffle towards you smoothly as he tries his best to conceal just how jittery you’re making him feel.

“Why?”

You look at him a bit before brushing your hair so that the strands become untucked from your ear, hiding your face from Atsumu. 

Dammit! He looks so good in casual clothes!

You clear your throat.

“I dunno. Feels awkward ta come ta yer house empty handed. Thought that maybe I could bring yer mum and Osamu-kun somethin’.”

Atsumu thanks the heavens that you’re having a casual conversation with him and your focus is on the bottles in front of you because then you won’t notice how he’s stealing glances just so he can commit how you look to memory and that he can direct his brain power to talking instead of focusing on how fast his heart is beating just by being near your presence. 

“Ah, so ya won’t get anythin’ for me?” He teases, leaning close to you so he can nudge your shoulder with his. Fuck, you smell good too. He sighs and runs a hand over his hair, thinking that he sounds like a mega creep. He steps away.

You scoff, “Fine, get one too, just tell me already. Then we should hurry so we can finish this project early.”

“Ya don’t really haf’ta get them anythin’.”

“Well, I want to.” You pout.

Atsumu closes his eyes. How can he say ‘no’ to that?

He picks some snacks and drinks with you, offering to pay half when you’re in front of the cashier so you can’t really argue with him lest you both hold up the line. So, begrudgingly, you split the bill with him and soon enough you both are walking towards his house, side by side, as he carries the paper bag where all your goods are.

“So, yer not gonna tell yer mum about our deal, right? I think that’ll be overkill.”

“F’course not. Yer just a really cute classmate that’s comin’ over because of schoolwork.” Atsumu immediately purses his lips since he just slipped but thankfully, you just huff and don’t add anything more to that.

Both of you have your story all covered up when you arrive at his house but when his mom greets you just as you were scanning your surroundings and pardoning your intrusion in their genkan, you and Atsumu freeze in place.

“Oh, my, welcome! ‘Tsumu, ya troublesome boy! Ya didn’t tell me yer girlfriend was this cute!” 

“ What?! ” Atsumu quickly exclaims as he nearly drops all the goods you both just bought and you try your best to keep your mouth shut, suppressing the urge to pick a fight with Atsumu in front of his mother but you didn’t really have to do that because Atsumu’s not at fault at all. The culprit of this misunderstanding appears soon and you want to smack your forehead because, of course, why didn’t you two account for this?!

Osamu appears behind their starry-eyed mother and he grins, all mischief and trouble.

“Welcome ta our humble home, [Y/n]-chan. Yer lookin’ real cute today.”

You flush. “T-thank you, Osamu-kun.” You don’t really know what to do with yourself and you both can’t exactly deny it anymore since you’ve already put up such a stupid show in front of Suna and Osamu about ‘liking’ each other. Atsumu just stands there, a bit stunned as he stares at his family in disbelief and you just want to melt on the spot right now because their mom is beaming at you expectantly.

You move near Atsumu, partially hiding behind his back as your hands tug shyly at his jacket so he stumbles back near you. Atsumu quickly flusters at the gesture and for some reason, Osamu thinks you both look like some young couple who just got married secretly and got caught so you’re now shyly asking for a mother’s blessing, gifts of offerings in hand.

“Um, hello, we got ya a little somethin’ as pardon for my intrusion. I hope it’s okay, Miya-san,” you say meekly towards Mrs. Miya and Atsumu suppresses a shiver because that’s the first time he’s heard you speak in such a tone. He stops the urge to just kneel over and groan about how cute it is and instead, hands the paper bag towards Osamu, frowning a bit at his cheeky twin. Osamu grins.

“Sick,” Osamu says as he shows the contents to their mother, looking back at you to nod as thanks. You nod back and smile a bit as you still try to make yourself smaller behind Atsumu’s figure, hoping hopelessly that you stop getting perceived by the Miyas.

(Atsumu feels like he’s getting constipated from the nerves, fixated on the feeling of your hands clutching cutely at the back of his jacket.)

(Yeah, he’s never giving this jacket back to Osamu.)

“Such a sweet girl too!” Mrs. Miya chuckles before gesturing graciously, “Come in, come in, make yerself at home! The living room’s free, I’ll bring ya snacks in a bit.” 

Atsumu finally shrugs you off and gestures for you to start taking off your shoes already before bending down to do it himself, trying to hide the fact that he’s flustered about all this and muttering to himself about how Osamu will surely get it from him later. You don’t pay any attention to him as you smile nervously towards Mrs. Miya, shyly muttering a thank-you as you clumsily take your shoes off and put it aside. She just smiles widely at you before ushering you inside and you briefly think that the twins got their smile from their mother.

Some study materials are already spread out in their coffee table and Atsumu says he already took down some notes when he was having breakfast earlier just to pass some time and you nearly don’t believe him until you see the notes yourself. You read over it and hum.

“Sometimes I forget that yer not actually a dumbass,” you lean in to whisper to him and Atsumu is torn between cursing you or acting like an awkward school boy who’s being whispered to by his crush. He does neither and just scowls before opening his laptop.

You take out all your stuff too and you both set out to work, brainstorming and such, taking each others input and there was a bit where you both got into an argument about a certain topic and you had to bicker in the docs just to prevent from creating a fuss in their household and having their mom worry about things. Mrs. Miya brings a tray of assorted snacks just a little later and puts it down somewhere on the coffee table with a smile and you bow to her in thanks. Osamu joins you both later, taking his share on the food and munching on it as he watches you and Atsumu work. You peer at him curiously.

“Isn’t it borin’ ta watch us?” You ask him.

Osamu shrugs.

“Kinda. But I’ll get scolded if I start watchin’ television while ya both are workin’ yer ass off so...”

“Then watch in our room, scrub.” Atsumu scowls beside you while furiously writing something.

“But the snacks are here…”

“Then take a lot of it and scram, dumbass!”

“Oh, yer right.”

“Boys, are ya fightin’ again?! Don’t do that in front of a guest!” Mrs. Miya calls from the kitchen.

“We’re not!”

Osamu leaves with a handful of biscuits, leaving you and Atsumu alone again. You’re actually quite thankful he’s taking this seriously and that you’re getting work done. You smile to yourself and start humming as you also start writing stuff down, in an awfully good mood because this isn't so bad after all. You kind of expected this to go down in flames, with Atsumu begging for mercy as you try your darndest to not strangle him to death out of anger.

Atsumu bites the inside of his cheek upon hearing you hum a song and he doesn’t know why but he wants to laugh. It’s interesting. Seeing you start to do things you normally didn’t do while you’re around him back then. He feels like both of you are starting to get closer too.

After a few minutes, you both are humming the same tune, shoulders brushing against each other as you and Atsumu gently sway to the rhythm.

At around 6 pm, with your work 60% done, he offers to take a break.

“Ah it’s already evenin’. Should we continue this tomorrow or next monday?” You ask as you stare at the wall clock in their living room. Atsumu stretches and then smoothly rests his arm behind you, an action that you don’t miss. You don’t say anything about it though.

“Why not today?”

You scrunch your eyebrows together.

“Uh, I haf’ta get dinner at my own house.”

“Ya can get dinner here.” Atsumu raises an eyebrow. “M’sure my mum won’t mind.”

You bite your lower lip, “I’ll mind though.”

“Ew.”

You pinch his side in irritation and he merely chuckles.

“Atsumu!”

“Yeah, yeah, m’serious though! Ya can stay for dinner. I bet even if ya insist ta go home, mum would force ya anyway. That’s just how she is.”

You stare at him, unconvinced.

“I’ll walk ya home, don’t worry.” He shrugs.

You frown and turn your gaze at the wall clock, watching the hands tick continuously. You sigh, mumbling to yourself about how dumb Atsumu is as you reach for your phone. Atsumu presses the side of his head with yours as he tries to get a glimpse of your phone screen but you just move away, scowling at him.

Atsumu expects you to start calling him names but you don’t do that, just glaring at him as you face him so he won’t get a glimpse of what you’re doing on your phone. 

“What’re ya doin’?”

“Tellin’ my mum I’m gonna stay here for dinner and I might get home late, obviously.” You roll your eyes and you briefly worry that your mother might think you’re doing something inappropriate since she’s already suspecting something just because you dressed up nice. You hope not. Even if you’re staying over at your pretend boyfriend’s house. Gosh, mothers have some sort of sixth sense, you swear. 

Atsumu snorts. “Yer so easy ta convince.”

You stick your tongue out at him before moving your gaze and tapping on your phone.

He then suddenly realizes that you don’t act out as much because you’re inside his home and there’s a possibility that his mother will hear. He laughs loudly at that and you hit him on the chest.

“Shut up!” You hiss and he just sticks his tongue out back at you.

Just as he said, his mother cheerfully invites you to dinner and you’re glad you got peer pressured by Atsumu to stay because the food is good, the conversation is too, Mrs. Miya and Osamu outing all of Atsumu’s (and sometimes Osamu’s too because they’re practically conjoined on the hip) embarrassing childhood memories. Their mother whips out a photo album somewhere in the middle and Atsumu thinks that’s the most he’s seen you smile the entire time you’ve been in his presence.

You show him a picture of him when he was like 5 years old and you beam at him.

“You look so cute in here! Chubby cheeks!” You giggle, turning the photo back to you as you try to take a quick snap of it on your phone, “What happened? Ya look like a loser now.”

Atsumu inhales then hurriedly turns to Osamu, saying in a hushed tone-

“‘Samu, I’m so in love.”

Osamu gags.

“Ya really just ignored the last part of what she said?”

You offer to help clean up after dinner but Mrs. Miya says that you’re a guest and it’s rude to impose chores on guests, ushering you and Atsumu back to the living room to finish your project. Osamu gets stuck with cleaning duty and he seethes in anger when Atsumu sticks his tongue out at him haughtily just as he is leaving the dining area.

You go back to work significantly happy and Atsumu briefly thanks the gods above that his mom managed to get you in this mood. You occasionally snap at him but that doesn’t stop him from stealing glances at you and feeling his heart grow three times from the sheer joy of seeing you with a tiny smile as you type on your laptop.

You both finish your work at 9 pm and you quickly gather your stuff, bowing in apology for staying so late and thanking the Miyas for their hospitality.

“Oh, that’s no problem! Yer always welcome here, [Y/n]-chan.” Mrs. Miya gives you a hug and you awkwardly accept it, a little bit flustered when she draws away. Osamu waves at you from behind his mom, muttering “See ya.”

“Let’s go already, [Y/n].” Atsumu whines near the door and you give him a quick glare before bowing towards the old woman and his twin again and waving goodbye.

“Thank you again! I’ll visit again sometime, Miya-san!”

“Call me ‘mum’!” 

Atsumu pushes you gently out the door, a bit embarrassed at how his mom is acting but also a bit elated because his mom likes you and you seem to like her too.

He feels like he’s sort of scamming you. First, he lowkey forced you into this arrangement and now, he’s letting you meet his family as if you’re truly his girlfriend.

He doesn’t really mind but you, on the other hand…

“Man, yer mum is so nice! Why didn’t ya take after her?!” You playfully shove him with a pout and he merely rolls his eyes. It’s evident you’re still in a good mood because after that, you whip out your phone and show him the picture of that baby picture of his you took earlier.

“This is really cute! Is this baby really ya? Maybe ya got mixed up with Osamu-kun. Osamu-kun’s pretty cute as a baby too but then ya both are twins so I guess there’s not much difference.”

“Excuse me? I’m cuter than ‘Samu, as a baby and even now!” He scowls.

You giggle a bit as you try to hide your grin with your phone. Atsumu puts his hand over his chest, an action that confuses you but you don’t bother addressing it.

“Sure, whatever ya say, Atsumu.”

You look at that picture one last time before putting your phone away on your bag, sighing contentedly as you stretch.

“Yer mum is such a good cook too! Man, I had such a good time! I wonder when I can visit again~” You hum as you start to skip and Atsumu doesn’t think he can handle this much cuteness. Will he die tomorrow? Is this it? Is this his final moments of reprieve, his final moments of extreme happiness that he’ll take for his demise tomorrow?

Suddenly, you stop and Atsumu doesn't even notice it until you’re a foot away, too busy wallowing on what sort of misfortune he’ll receive tomorrow. He looks back at you as horror seems to slowly dawn on your face.

Atsumu raises an eyebrow.

“Wait! She thinks we’re a couple, right?!”

Ah.

“Yeah.”

You hold your hand out in front of your mouth.

“Do we haf’ta keep pretendin’ ‘till we’re old or something? I mean, we’re technically legal on yer side of the family now- will this lead ta marriage?! Do we haf’ta pretend ‘till we get married?!”

Gosh, Atsumu hopes so.

“Idiot, no, we’ll break up after graduation or somethin’, get yerself together.”

You pout.

“But I like yer mum. I don’t want her ta hate me…”

“Ya both can still be friends even after we’re not together, don’t worry about it. We’ll find a way.” Atsumu scratches the back of his head, a bit annoyed at the mention of you both breaking up. At least you don’t seem to object pretending to be with him for two more years though. You walk towards him, a bit sulky now.

“Okay.”

You both continue your walk home in silence and somehow it’s got Atsumu thinking about a lot of things. You, on the other hand, hate the silence so you try to talk to him about the upcoming tournament and nationals. Even if he’s conversing with you about volleyball, that nagging thing at the back of his mind won’t leave him alone.

When you’re near your house and you tell him it’s alright now, he reaches for your wrist before you can walk away. You raise an eyebrow at him and yank your wrist away from him, not like he’s had a tight grip on it in the first place.

“What?” You ask.

“Rule no. 2.” Atsumu holds out two fingers and you suddenly pay close attention to him, body going rigid.

“If ya find someone ya like, ya can stop this pretend thing with me. No need ta hold on to that deal ‘till graduation.”

You just stare at him, blank faced and you both just hold each other’s gazes for a few minutes before you shift a little, body turning away even though your eyes still hold his.

“Sure. Same goes ta ya.”

“Yeah.” Atsumu drops his hand and smiles, albeit a bit forced. 

“I’ve had fun today. Thanks for yer cooperation with the project and for the good time with yer family.” You smile back, soft and gentle. Atsumu’s heart suddenly hurts. Why? He’s the one who brought this up.

“See ya at school.” You wave at him before jogging towards your house gates. 

Atsumu sighs.

“See ya.”

Sure. Same goes ta ya.

As if. He doesn’t think he’ll like anyone as much as he likes you.

You kneel over your genkan, a bit flustered and mood somehow ruined. Why did Atsumu making that rule kind of hurt you? But you guess it makes sense. Why stay with each other when you find someone you genuinely like?

You bite your lower lip and try to force a smile when your mother and father welcomes you home.

That rule’s a bit unfair. 

You hiss, a bit angry at yourself but there’s no point in denying it anymore anyway. You check your phone only to be greeted by Atsumu’s childhood picture staring at you in the face. Your expression softens.

You guess you like Miya, Atsumu a little.

Chapter Text

Atsumu thinks you’re being distant.

But then he might just be overthinking it. He scrunches his nose in annoyance as he files his nails, sitting on a corner inside the gym with Osamu watching some volleyball reruns next to him. Why does he think that? Well, first of all, you barely react strongly to anything he says anymore, the most you do is shoot him a withering look before continuing on whatever you’re doing at the moment. Second, you stopped joining him and Osamu for lunch, excusing yourself because your ‘senpais asked for you', saying that it's for discussing volleyball strategic purposes since interhigh is coming close and everything be damned if the Inarizaki girl’s volleyball team doesn’t get chosen as representative for the region. Third, you rarely ever agree on going to Asahara-san's anymore, only waiting outside the shop if Atsumu insists he must absolutely get something to eat or he dies from hunger.

One last thing. You don't look at him in the eyes for more than 2 seconds and (not like he counted) the most words he can get out of you nowadays is 10 max.

He chews the inside of his cheek. Did he do something wrong? 

Should he go ask you about it? He should, shouldn't he? He knows you both don't really get along that well in the first place and you've always treated him a bit poorly but there's something about you stopping to care about him altogether that hurts. Indifference is much, much worse than hate, isn't it? 

Atsumu sighs and Osamu nudges him gently.

"Somethin' botherin' ya?" Osamu asks, eyes still glued to his phone. Atsumu frowns deeper, debating whether he should tell his twin about his girl trouble or not and after much silent deliberation, he decides not to.

"Nothin'. Just thinkin' 'bout nationals."

Osamu frowns as he steals a glance at his twin. He knows when he's lying.

But then Osamu has been wrong before. Your face comes into mind and all of a sudden, he flinches as if the idea he'd just have physically struck him. Atsumu feels him flinch and looks at him as if he's looking at something weird. The grey haired twin narrows his eyes.

"It's [Y/n], isn't it?"

Atsumu immediately looks away.

Bingo .

"She hasn't been spendin' that much time with ya or somethin'?"

Atsumu remains quiet and starts to file his nails again. Osamu scoffs.

"Figures. Ya always look so dejected when ya come ta me for lunch but I figured ya both are alright since ya still go home together. Is it that bad?"

Still, Atsumu doesn't answer. Osamu hits him in the back of his head, making Atsumu yelp and clutch his head in pain.

"I swear, m'gonna kill ya, 'Samu!" Atsumu says, teary-eyed and Osamu clicks his phone closed, scowling at his twin.

"M'tryin' ta help ya here!"

"Well, I don't need yer help!"

(Aran takes a peek towards the twins and mutters something to Kita, asking if it's alright to leave them be. Kita spares a glance at them before deciding it's probably still alright. The twins look like they're not exactly interested in throwing punches at the moment anyway. Just let the two squabble it out.)

(Aran worries a bit that Kita's only willing to step in if they've already thrown hands.)

"Fine! Bet ya two argued, didn't ya? And now she's ignorin' you. Serves ya right!"

Atsumu grimaces. "We didn't even argue!"

"Oh, so she is ignorin' ya."

"Oh, shut up! Just continue watchin' that stuff you were watchin' or somethin'! Ya wanna try it, right?! National's comin' up soon, let's just stop talkin' 'bout her." Atsumu steals the phone from Osamu's hand only to shove it back towards him again. Osamu's brows furrow in frustration but in the end, he just snatches his phone back harshly before scooting away from Atsumu just to spite him.

"Fuck you." Atsumu scoots back closer to him anyways.

Osamu sighs before unlocking his phone screen, the twins back to their previous spots and what they're previously doing as if that whole argument didn't happen. Of course, Osamu will let it go. Especially when Atsumu seems down about something. His girlfriend nonetheless. Atsumu will never admit it but Osamu being next to him actually makes him feel a little better; like, at least, he has this part of his life under control, deriving comfort from the fact that he has his twin on his side.

That's what brothers are for, right?

***

"Did I do somethin' bad?" Atsumu asks when you’ve both just passed the school gate and you briefly look at him before looking up the sky and answering-

“No, ya didn’t.”

Then why are ya actin’ like that?

He wants to ask so badly, the question practically clawing at his throat, forcing to get out, but he swallows it down instead when it's clear you're not particularly bothered about what prompted him to ask such a thing.

Normally, one would follow it with ' Why do you ask? ' but you didn't, unbothered and uninterested. Now he's certain he's not just imagining the distance you forcibly wedged between you two.

Atsumu’s not one to give up though even if other people thinks he’s annoying because of it. Maybe, it’s something that doesn’t have anything to do with him. Maybe. 

(He hopes so.) 

He gently nudges your arm with his and you simply move away, saying nothing, not even humoring him with that cute glare of yours he’d grown quite fond of. Atsumu frowns.

“Is somethin’ botherin’ ya then?”

You sigh and Atsumu grimaces a bit, internally scolding himself at such a reaction because what is he so afraid of? You just sighed, a sigh that seems like you can’t wait to be rid of him, and it’s not like it’s the first time you did it, heck, you’ve done more spiteful gestures towards him so why is it that his chest feels tight right now?

You look at your fingers and his eyes follow suit, some sense of yearning accompanying that heavy feeling in his rib cage at the sight of your small hands. 

Small hands that were so warm inside his own that one time you held hands with him. He’s long been trying to find a moment to feel that warmth again on the tip of his fingertips but he hasn’t really found such a chance and by now, he’ll think it’ll be a miracle if he ever did.

“I guess it’s botherin’ me that it’s the season again where yer fingertips get really dry.”

Atsumu tears his eyes away from your form and looks on ahead, unfocused.

“I see.”

For some reason, his heart sinks into his stomach at your answer.

***

Atsumu’s been in a bad mood the whole day, entering the gym first thing with a pissed off expression and when practice started, he struggled to not snap at his teammates at the slightest slips though it’s evident that it’s getting on his nerves. To top it all off, it just coincidentally happens to also be Osamu’s bad day, the tension between the twins intense as Atsumu berates him for sucking, not holding anything back because he’s his brother. Osamu’s looking down at his feet, fists clenching, looking like he’s about to explode at any moment and coming real close to socking Atsumu in the face. Suna watches as the twins tip over the edge of their tempers as Ginjima and Akagi try their best to ease the tension but as Suna predicted, it’s futile. Osamu kicks Atsumu quite hard and starts spouting off profanities that Suna didn’t even know exist in the grey haired twin’s vocabulary and it isn’t long before Atsumu throws a punch back, the two brawling it off as Akagi hurriedly tries to get Aran or Kita to stop this madness.

Suna thinks he’s recorded a decent video of the fight, snickering to himself as he watches the whole thing again even well after it’s over.

***

You stare at the empty spot in front of you and for some reason, you feel like a thousand pin needles are currently being poked in every inch of your skin. You take a deep breath and fish around for your phone inside your bag, checking to see if anyone sent you a message.

Nothing.

You lock your phone and grip it tightly, peering back again on the empty spot where Atsumu usually is waiting for you outside the clubroom. You bite your lower lip. Maybe he’s still in the gym? Should you go message him or check the gym instead? Is that necessary? It’s not like walking home is part of the deal, it’s just something you both just did without any reason or agreement, making it a routine out of nowhere. You nibble on your lower lip, trying to mull things over your mind. Should you just go home on your own? But then, Atsumu might freak and you’ve been trying to work on your patience these past few weeks, ignoring every little thing he does that tick you off, so you don’t really want to test yourself that much.

You sigh and trudge towards the boy’s gym, silently hoping that Atsumu won’t take you seeking him out the wrong way.

You’ve been trying to detach yourself from him after all.

***

“Atsumu already went ahead with Osamu,” Kita informs you just as he was finishing up and all you can mutter back is-

“Oh.”

Aran, who’s just besides him, smiles nervously towards you. “Didn’t Atsumu tell ya anythin’?”

You feel a little annoyed at how he seems to look at you apologetically and with...pity? As if you care that Atsumu left you alone without so much as a notice. You clench your jaw before bowing towards them politely.

“He didn’t. Thank you, Kita-senpai. Aran-senpai. I’ll be goin’ now too. Take care.” You raise your head to see them waving back at you, muttering their goodbyes and take-cares, and you give them one last small smile before heading your own way, gripping the strap of your bag hard until your knuckles turn white.

Aran lets his hand drop on his side before looking nervously at Kita.

“Somehow, I smell trouble. Do ya think we should’ve told her the twins got in a fight or somethin’?”

Kita blinks. “Why? It’s not our business.”

“Well, ya know…” Aran gestures vaguely but once he sees the still-blank look on Kita’s face, he sighs and drops it. “Nevermind.”

Kita chuckles a little and Aran’s eyes nearly bulge out his head. It lasts for only a second though before Kita’s back to his stoic expression.

“Don’t ya think it’ll be fun ta see how this will go?”

Aran closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose.

How dare he forget that Kita has a mischievous side to him.

“Well, if it affects Atsumu’s performance then maybe I’ll have ta step up.”

Aran snorts. “F’course ya will.”

***

You feel a bit empty and a bit lonely, much to your chagrin. This is why you didn’t want to be attached to Atsumu in the first place especially since your relationship is a superficial one.

You sigh for the nth time, hoping each sigh will let the bad feeling out of your chest. There’s no freaking way you’ll nag Atsumu about not informing you that he’ll go on ahead and leaving you to walk home alone like a loser who’s just had her hopes up only to be squashed to bits at the last moment. You clench your jaw, annoyed at yourself that you’re feeling such a way, in a way which doesn’t even make any sense. 

Ah well, going home alone isn’t that bad , you chastise yourself. At least Atsumu isn’t here to talk your ears off.

(Even though he’s been quiet these past few days, which is probably your own fault too because you’ve begun droning him out, trying to pretend he isn’t there.)

At least he isn’t here to tease you about something stupid, stealing small touches on your arm and shoulder despite your rule of no touching.

(Even though he doesn’t do that anymore, keeping his hands tucked inside his pockets, not a small quip falling off of that lips of his.)

You stop in front of Asahara-san’s, the warm light beckoning you over. You nibble at your lower lip. You haven’t really talked with the old woman these past few days, content in peeking inside for a little bit, smiling and waving at her before walking back outside in an attempt to distance yourself with Atsumu.

You breathe out.

You guess it wouldn’t hurt to hang out here for a while.

***

“I wonder if [Y/n]’s home already,” Atsumu mutters as he takes his eyes off the screen briefly to check the wall clock in their room. Osamu clicks his tongue, annoyed that Atsumu’s attention is drifting while they’re playing, taking it as him not giving Atsumu a hard enough time to focus on the game.

Osamu smacks Atsumu’s leg, earning a yelp from the older twin, before he scoffs.

“Didn’t ya send her a text or somethin’?”

Atsumu shifts uncomfortably in his seat on the floor. “No. I forgot.”

Osamu pauses the game so he can look at Atsumu with a raised brow. “Are ya an idiot?”

“Well, she didn’t text me either so I think she doesn’t really care that I didn’t.” Atsumu pouts, attempting to continue on with their game but Osamu pauses it again.

“Really, what’s the deal with ya two? Ya both were just flirting nonstop at our dinner table just the other night-”

“That’s been so long, ‘Samu.”

“-and now ya won’t even talk properly.”

“S’her fault!” Atsumu snaps, gritting his teeth as he glares resentfully at their tv screen. Suddenly, Osamu catches fear overshadow Atsumu’s face, the bleached haired twin gripping the grey haired one in the arm with alarm before going-

“Do ya think she’s cheatin’ on me?”

Osamu snorts and this time, it’s Atsumu who smacks his twin in the leg.

The younger twin hisses. “Do ya want a round two of earlier?!”

“Bring it, scrub!”

“M’not the one with a buncha plasters in my face, idiot! No wonder [Y/n] might be cheatin’ on ya, weakass baby!”

Atsumu whimpers and Osamu regrets saying it a little, feeling that he just crossed a line that he really shouldn’t. He snaps his mouth shut, sighs and awkwardly pats Atsumu on the back.

“She’s not cheatin’, m’sorry.” He pauses. “Probably.”

“Wow, that’s reassurin’.” Atsumu rolls his eyes, making the other smack him in the back just for his ungratefulness. They bicker a bit before they agree to just settle it via video games as their own respective injuries from their little scuffle at the gym still stings a bit.

Atsumu lets his gaze drift to his phone for a bit but ultimately decides to ignore it for the rest of the night.

Cheating on him? As if he has any say to that. Maybe you already did find another person to pour all your attention to, already tired of this arrangement with him. He did tell you to tell him if you’ve found someone so you can part ways cleanly and he won’t be like an idiot stabbing in the dark, guessing at where your relationship stands, but the ambiguity right now sure seems like it, a fact that he resents.

Is it because you’re unsure of that other person still?

Atsumu closes his eyes tight and breathes out his nose.

He really wishes you should just tell him straight up what’s happening. It’s not like he’ll get mad. He’s competitive and determined but sometimes, sometimes , he knows when to give up.

He wakes up the next day with no messages still.

Atsumu’s so close to swallowing his pride and sending you a good morning message but he’s able to get ahold of himself, a voice inside his head telling him that he shouldn’t show such attachment towards you because he’ll just look pathetic.

What is he supposed to do then?

He feels pathetic either way.

***

You look down on your phone as you rest it and your hands on your lap, hiding it under the desk so you won’t be caught by your classmates checking it now and again. Atsumu still hasn’t sent you anything . You furrow your brows.

He arrives in the classroom moments later and you stiffen at the sight of his face filled with plasters.

Has he been in a fight yesterday?

You clench your fist in your lap.

Why didn’t he tell me?

“Mornin’,” Atsumu says out of habit as he lazily drops his bag on his desk and flops down on his seat. You want to ask so bad what happened but you feel like it’s not in your place. What’s the use of worrying about him now when you’ve shown him nothing but contempt from the first moment you two had the chance to interact.

“Mornin’,” you mutter, upset, and Atsumu glances at you nervously before looking straight ahead, trying to stop himself from beaming because you greeted him back and fussing over you because it looks like something’s wrong.

Is his guess correct? Is there someone else? If so, is it not going well?

Some strange air surrounds you two, awkwardness obvious in each of your movements, Atsumu not even bothering to invite you to lunch anymore though you didn’t even really wait that much for him to have the chance, and you don’t even look at each other as you two make your way towards your respective gyms.

You stop your steps just as you’re about to get to your clubrooms, making him stop too and look back at you, and you get the urge to ask if he’ll leave you in the dust again today, but you stop yourself. Atsumu doesn’t seem particularly bothered about it so it must mean he doesn’t really care and walking home together is not something you must definitely do everyday.

“What?” Atsumu asks with a raised brow.

Still, it kinda hurts.

You shake your head.

“Nothin’.”

You walk ahead, not looking back as Atsumu doesn’t even dare follow your figure with his eyes.

***

Atsumu’s waiting for you in his usual spot, hands tucked in his pockets, bag slung over his shoulder. He’s looking up at the sky. You nearly tear up.

You walk home together and stop by Asahara-san’s, the old woman smiling at you both gingerly, and accompany each other without a single word.

***

Today’s a Saturday.

You have volleyball practice the whole day. 

You huff to yourself as you jog your way to school early in the morning, warming yourself up so you can get to working immediately once your captain opens up the gym. Or maybe Kokoa-senpai has the keys today. Well, either way, you’re thrilled to be getting the whole day to dedicate practice to.

You spot Atsumu and Osamu already at the school gates, a bit surprised that Osamu’s wearing plasters on his face too, though less than what Atsumu has, and you wonder if Osamu got roped into whatever fight Atsumu had gotten himself into the other day.

As if he felt your gaze towards him, Atsumu turns your way mid-yawn and you see him flinch a bit once he meets your eyes. You furrow your brows in reflex, irritated that he reacted to you in such a way. You shake it off though and pass by them with a wave, hurrying along to the gym with urgency on your step, eager to be out of Atsumu’s sight. You don’t notice how a blush seems to taint Atsumu’s whole face in your haste to get ahead.

Osamu nudges him a bit. “You sure ya alright?”

Atsumu scoffs. “M’fine. Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

Kita finds out later that he has a fever.

Atsumu thinks someone cursed this whole week for him because it’s just one misfortune after the other. Is this your new person’s doing, huh? Is he getting cursed because he’s currently your quote-unquote boyfriend ? What a coward , he thinks in his delirious state as their teacher representative scolds him a bit and checks his temperature. They should just go at me and I’ll be willing to throw hands, sick or not.

When he gets back to the clubroom, he tears up at what’s waiting for him especially since he’s not feeling good emotionally and physically, and he wholeheartedly appreciates what Kita has done for him, yelling out an outburst and later on cradling the plastic bag on his chest as he sniffles like a child.

His head hurts, he feels weak, his chest is heavy.

Atsumu sniffles again as he slings his bag over his shoulder.

He really wants to see you.

***

An empty spot. Again.

You check your phone. Again.

Nothing.

You bite your lower lip, debating whether you should check on the gym or just head out straight home. Though you doubt it matters much.

You almost went with the latter option but then guilt gnaws at your head and you find your feet taking you towards their gym before you can think back on it. Well, this option is better, you guess. So if something happens, Atsumu can’t say such an incident against you.

You perk up a bit when you find that their gym still sounds lively and you’re a bit embarrassed at the relief you feel because maybe, Atsumu’s still there, too engrossed with practice and you’re going to be back to the routine you’ve grown fond of despite the awkward silence that’s been surrounding you both lately. 

“Ah. ‘Tsumu already went home earlier,” Osamu says as he approaches you near the gym door.

Your heart sinks. 

“Oh.”

Osamu stares at you. You force a smile. 

“Sorry for the bother then. Take care on yer way home.” You turn your back on him and go down the steps, walking away as if your mood hasn’t just plummeted from a single sentence alone. Osamu watches your retreating form and Suna, who’s been watching the whole exchange like the nosy person he is, approaches the twin and asks-

“Do you think she knows Atsumu has a cold?”

Osamu stares more even as your figure disappears into the building.

“Don’t think so. Should I have told her?”

Suna scrunches his nose. “The hell’s Atsumu doing?”

“Hell if I know.” Osamu pushes Suna back towards the court as he too struts back to where he was before you showed up. He chances a last glance towards the gym door and sighs. At least Atsumu’s performance isn’t getting heavily affected by this and he hopes it’s not affecting yours as well. You both carry a big part of the Inarizaki’s pride after all considering you both are setters.

***

You clutch the meatbun on your hand as you listen to Asahara-san tell stories about her youth and sure, you enjoy listening to them but you’re still in a sour mood, mind drifting to Atsumu now and again and internally cursing him, hating him more and more because he’s making you feel things you didn’t even know you’re capable of feeling.

One thing is for sure, they’re not positive ones.

Asahara-san smiles kindly and takes one of your hands in her wrinkly ones. “Yer in a bad mood, my dear. Is it because of Tsumu-chan? Ya both haven’t been visitin’ me together. Is somethin’ wrong?”

You nearly cry in front of her but you catch yourself before you do. You’re a big girl, there’s no way a pathetic loser like Atsumu is going to make you cry. You force a shaky smile.

“Nothin’s wrong, m’sorry for worryin’ ya, Asahara-san.”

The old woman pouts. “Yer not that convincin’, girly. So it is Tsumu-chan.”

You wither at the look she gives you and she beams immediately once she sees your reaction, letting out a gentle but hearty laugh. “Are ya two not doin’ good? Tsumu-chan’s been down these past few days too.”

You just continue eating your meatbun, hoping that she’ll drop the subject if you pretend that conversation hasn’t happened but the more time stretches on and the more you chew, her patient gaze doesn’t leave you and you’re eventually forced to face this dilemma of yours head on.

You clench her hands that're holding yours gently.

“The situation we’re in is weird so I don’t really know what ta tell you, Asahara-san.”

“Weird?” She tilts her head, grey locks falling from her shoulders. “Ah, is it because yer still both young?”

You just nod at that, settling for that explanation since you’re not really that enthusiastic to talk about this weird arrangement of yours lest this lovely woman in front of you think that kids these days are off their rockers. She smiles understandingly and pats your hand.

“Well, I guess. I guess yer lucky if ya get ta marry yer highschool sweetheart. Heck, I’ve met my husband in college!” 

You smile at the twinkle in her eyes the moment she mentions her husband. How nice. You clench her hands again.

“So it’s okay if we find someone else, right? We’re still young.”

“Oh. Did ya guys break up already?”

You bite your lower lip as you look down at the remaining bits of your meatbun. “No…”

She gasps. “Did he cheat on ya?”

“I-I…” you swallow, “I don’t think so.”

“Are ya cheatin’ on him?”

“What?!” You nearly rise from your chair. “No! I’d never do that.”

She furrows her eyebrows. “I swear Tsumu-chan’s been complainin’ ‘bout ya findin’ someone new.”

It’s your brows’ turn to furrow and you mutter angrily to yourself, cursing him under your breath because how dare he!

(In your offended state, you miss that Atsumu has the same concern as you.)

“That rat.” You look at her straight in the eyes, trying to show your earnesty. “I haven’t found someone new!”

Asahara-san smiles and you grumble, feeling like the child you are under her gaze.

“Well, I don’t know what ta tell ya really. If someone’s cheatin’ or hurtin’ ya deliberately through actions or even words, then I suggest ya don’t stay with that person. Ya gotta know yer worth and what ya deserve, [Y/n]-chan. Ya should also treat Tsumu-chan real nice back!” She dumbs it down for you to easily understand and you know all those things already but you can do nothing but nod at her advice. You look away, a bit embarrassed and ashamed because you’re not exactly doing well on the treating him real nice part, vocabulary overloading with insults the moment he gets near your vicinity.

Maybe, he’s starting to realize at last that you’re not worth tolerating.

You want to bang your head on a surface. How rude of him to realize now when you’re partially attached to him, finding solace in the fact that he’s near, a sure constant in your life. A supposed to be constant that’s starting to waver and you know it’s somehow your fault why that’s the case.

You say your goodbyes to Asahara-san later, head full of anecdotes of her life and you’re grateful that she dropped the subject of you and Atsumu real quick. You suspect that she thinks a teenager’s love life, especially this young, isn't something she needs to be invested in.

(Though she does see potential.)

You wipe your face with your hands, tired, and you sigh deeply. You shouldn’t really invest so much time thinking about Atsumu. It just brings you nothing but a heavy heart and a headache. You’re grateful for volleyball really because it’s the only time your mind is clear, focused completely in the game, processing everything that needs your attention just so you can make the ball fall on the other side of the court. You stare at your hands, little bumps in your fingertips due to how much you’re able to touch the ball. You clench it, relishing on their feel against your skin.

You need to focus on your goal ahead. There’s no space for boys in your head. Especially since interhigh’s almost near.

You take a deep breath and jog towards your house.

You’re gonna practice in your backyard after dinner.

You receive a phone call later just as you’re about to sleep and you nearly don’t answer it when you see who was calling. You could’ve easily pretended that you’re asleep already but curiosity gets the better of you and with shaking hands, you slide the call button and put your phone at your ear.

You nearly stop breathing.

At Atsumu’s delirious state, mind filled of you, he decides to call you just to say-

“I miss you.”

Chapter Text

“I miss you.”

“Wh-” you start and if you weren’t already lying down, you would’ve fallen over from the shock.

“I miss you, [Y/n].” He repeats, voice hoarse, and you think he mumbles something after that but you don’t quite catch it, your ears too preoccupied with the sound of your beating heart. Your mind is currently jumbled, thoughts flying around, getting all muddled up just from hearing those three words come out of Atsumu’s mouth. Directed to you . You want to ask if he’s alright, if anything’s wrong, if he’s got the wrong number (even when he clearly said your name), what’s happening with him, but all that comes out your mouth is a weak-

“I miss you too.”

He groans, clearly protesting, “No, ya don’t.”

Instead of getting angry like usual, a pang of guilt ripples through you and you find yourself closing your eyes tight, as if being unable to see will lessen the heaviness you feel in your chest at the knowledge that you caused this loneliness not only to yourself but to Atsumu as well. You don’t really know what to say, what words to string together to avoid incriminating yourself and admit that maybe you’re getting quite taken with him, that maybe you don’t want to like him any more than you already do so it’s better that you distance yourself so as to not get too attached and get hurt a lot when he inevitably leaves your side. 

It’s easy to fall in love with Atsumu. With that annoying but handsome face, the way he endearingly grins like a kid, acts like a kid too when he finds something that he finds cool and interesting (which he never fails to share with you, making your heart skip a beat, much to your dismay), the way he dotes on Osamu, sometimes smiling ever so softly and fondly whenever his younger twin turns his back on him, the way he holds himself, so confident and sure and, yes , he has the right to be cocky because he’s freaking Miya, Atsumu . A guy who’s capable of so much even though he doesn’t look like it (since he looks like a regular douchebag), a guy who took your breath away in more ways than one the first time you saw him, a guy that you desperately want to get ahead of when it comes to setting and volleyball.

How can you not?

It’s stupid, really. That you felt so, so lonely the moment he did the same thing you’re doing to him.

You hear him sniffle.

You freeze. 

“Atsumu?”

Silence.

Anxiety spikes in your head at the thought of making Atsumu so upset that he’d cry and you feel a little bit lightheaded when you sit up too fast in alarm, as if that would help your case. You wince and hurriedly whispers, “M’sorry, m’sorry, I just…”

“Is there someone…” cough, cough ,”...yer interested with?” You notice that he sounds a bit different and you wonder briefly if it’s really Atsumu you’re talking to. Is he sick? What spurred him to suddenly call you like this anyway? What made him decide that I’ll call [Y/n] tonight and make her feel bad for avoiding me like the plague.

“No, there isn’t.” You clench your fist that’s not holding your phone, “How ‘bout you?”

“I don’t have one too.”

You feel a hundred butterflies flutter inside your stomach and you had to try your best to steady your voice, hoping Atsumu won’t notice just how much he’s giving you in this moment, letting hope bloom in your chest along with the confusion that lingers in your mind at his absence for the last few days.

“I see.”

“Then do ya not care for me anymore?” He asks next, sniffling.

“Wh-!” you almost yell and then realize that it probably isn’t a good idea to be this loud so late in the night. You sigh. “That’s ridiculous. I’ll always care ‘bout you, Atsumu.”

You hear him inhale and you find yourself holding your breath, not sure if you regret saying that or not but before he can say anything more that will throw you in another limbo, you sputter, trying to change the subject.

“Are ya sick?”

Atsumu sniffles and you hear shuffling, “Yeah.”

Oh.

“B-but, this morning… I saw you…”

“Yeah, Kita-senpai made me go home.”

Oh.

You feel your chest lighten a bit at that but another wave of worry comes crashing onto you because first, Atsumu didn’t tell you that he’s sick (or maybe he’s too out of it that he didn’t get to) and second, he should be resting right now instead of calling you and making you feel all these emotions. 

“Go rest, dummy. I’m hangin’ up.”

“I want ta see you.”

You blush. “Get well soon, ‘kay?”

“Ya won’t avoid me anymore, right?”

You bite your lower lip.

“I won’t, Atsumu.”

“Promise?”

You snort, hand unclenching and relaxing. You stare at the crescent shaped dents on your palm.

“I promise. Now, go rest.”

“[Y/n]-” You don’t let him finish as you hang up immediately, hands shaking because you can’t believe that entire conversation just happened. You throw your phone somewhere in your bed before plopping back down, hands covering your face as you reel yourself in.

You mutter a curse under your breath before turning on your side and pulling the blanket over your head.

Atsumu wakes up early the next morning, body clock working against him this time because he’s still not feeling all that well. His throat is dry and he badly needs a drink. He groans as he sits up, holding his head because it still feels a little heavy and for some reason, he thinks he’s forgetting something important. He doesn’t dwell on it too much as he looks around the room and is delighted to find that Osamu’s still there (of course, he’s already awake; Osamu’s always the first one to wake up) in the middle of their room, munching on something as he watches some program on the tv. Atsumu groans before plopping back down. Osamu looks his way.

“Mornin’. Ya still sick?” Osamu asks as he turns back to the tv.

“Mornin’,” Atsumu greets back, voice still hoarse so he clears his throat (though it didn’t help much), “Not as sick as yesterday. D’ya have a glass of water there or somethin’? I feel like a dried up raisin.”

Osamu scoffs but stands up anyway to fetch Atsumu a glass. Atsumu sighs and closes his eyes, trying to go back to sleep but his scratchy throat prevents him from doing so. He frowns in annoyance, groping for his phone in the area around him, intending to go lurk in one of his social media accounts to keep himself entertained while he waits for Osamu. 

When he does find his phone and unlocks it, his eyes nearly bulge out his head and he sits up so fast he nearly blacked out. He groans in pain, hand on his head and eyes shut as he gathers himself, thoughts a mess, trying to dig for something in his memories. He remembers vaguely that he dreamt about calling you but anything past that is hazy. Did he really call you? Was he really that dumb enough to do that?

(Maybe.)

He shuts his eyes tighter before sighing, opening it to take a peek at his phone screen that’s currently on his shaking hand.

There’s your name on the screen and a message saying-

[Good morning. I’ll come visit you later. I hope you’re feeling better.]

He grips his phone with both hands this time, bringing it close to his face and rapidly blinking. Is he hallucinating? Is this because of the cold? Was that dream real after all? He checks his call log to double check and sure enough, he made a call sometime during 12 am. What the fuck - The door opens and in emerges Osamu, holding a glass full of water, looking bored. Atsumu turns too quick again, muttering a curse as he gets lightheaded.

“Idiot, what’re ya doin’?” Osamu asks as he walks towards his twin. Atsumu glares at him and Osamu almost chucks the water at his face but he restrains himself, reminded that Atsumu’s still sick. He hands it over carefully and Atsumu meekly accepts it, muttering a thanks. 

After gulping the whole glass down, he returns it to Osamu. “Did ya tell [Y/n] I was sick?”

Osamu raises an eyebrow.

“I didn’t.”

Silence. 

“Didn’t ya?” The younger twin asks and Atsumu immediately crashes face down in his bed, full of shame. He grabs for his phone again to stare at your message, emotions a mess. He doesn’t know if he should be embarrassed, happy, or angry. Embarrassed because he probably sounded so clingy and whiny during that call. Happy because you messaged him, promised to visit him even. Angry because his delirious self just had to do that call and leave him no memory of it. 

“Ya really should tell her ‘bout things like this, y’know. She came ta the gym yesterday and asked for ya and I thought she knew ‘bout yer cold so I just told her ya went home. She looked pretty upset.” Osamu scolds him as he puts the glass down on a surface near him before going back to his previous spot in front of the tv. Atsumu groans.

“I didn’t think she’d care.”

Osamu scoffs. “F’course, she will. She’s yer girlfriend, right?”

Right.

Atsumu sighs and wipes his face with his hands. “She texted me she’d come visit today. What should I do?”

Osamu turns to look at him again. “Is somethin’ really goin’ on with ya two? If you don’t want ta be with her anymore, just break up with her, man.”

“That’s not-!” Atsumu scowls before biting the inside of his cheek, “I don’t want ta break up with her! I think she’s the one who wants ta break up with me.”

“Well, no wonder,” Osamu turns back to the tv, “Ya act so much like a moron, leavin’ her in the dark ‘bout stuff that’s happenin’ ta you. She’s bound ta get tired.”

For some reason that sends a sharp pain in Atsumu’s chest, making him furrow his brows. You’re the one who left him in the dark first. He doesn’t wanna come out as clingy especially since you both aren’t really dating in the first place. 

But he guesses both of you are kind of friends now too. He clenches his fist and covers his eyes using his arm. He’ll try to talk to you about it then. Both of you are just going in circles and honestly, he’s getting a little tired of it.

“Shaddup! What’dya know? Ya don’t have a lover!”

“I don’t have a lover but I have common sense, thank gods.”

Atsumu scowls, not daring to say anything more because Osamu’s making more sense than he is. He sighs. You’re going to visit. He doesn’t know what he looks like but he feels like shit so he’s certain he looks like it too. You’ll see how pathetic he is. Maybe he should reply, tell you that it’s all alright, that he’s already well so you don’t have to trouble yourself with anything but before he can do so, he finds himself waking up to a knock on their bedroom door.

Shit, he fell asleep.

“‘Tsumu, are you awake? Can we come in?” He hears their mother call beyond the door. He sits up a bit, looking around the room, looking for Osamu but his other half is nowhere to be found. He groans and lies back down.

“Sure,” he answers. He looks towards the door as it slowly opens and his eyes widen as he sees who’s beside his mother. He doesn’t know what exactly it is he’s feeling but he wants to vomit, his stomach doing flips that leaves him weak and jittery.

You stand there, so perfect and pretty, carrying a tray while wearing an apron bigger than your size. Upon closer inspection, it’s the apron he uses when their mother isn’t home and he’s stuck with kitchen duty. He can’t help but blush at the sight so he just lies back down and curses under his breath, putting a hand over his chest.

Aaahh, this crush will be the death of him.

“Well, [Y/n]-chan here was sweet enough ta visit and cook for ya! It’s perfect since it’s time for lunch anyway. I’ll leave him in yer hands, darling.” 

“Ah no, I’m sorry for the intrusion. And thank you, Miya-san.” He doesn’t know what his mom did but judging by how your voice shakes when you said that, his mom probably hugged you or gave you that childlike smile that usually flusters people, the one that conveys full admiration. A lot of people tell him and Osamu that they have their mother’s charming smile but his smile has yet to work on you, much to his frustrations.

(He doesn’t know that it’s already done its wonders.)

“Oh, please. Thank you for doin’ this for my son.”

He hears the door click close and he swallows almost instinctively. He prides himself on his steady hands but he feels them shaking now, positively scared of facing you because he has no idea what he said during that call. A sudden thought strikes him and he feels himself pale.

Did he confess?

Atsumu hears you shuffle towards him and he contemplates pretending that he’s dead, like a person trying to steer clear of a predator that he knows he has no chance of surviving an encounter with. He shuts his eyes tight as he senses your presence near and it’s silent for a while and he thinks for a bit that maybe he just hallucinated the scene earlier so he opens his eyes a bit, taking a peek, only to be greeted by the sight of you looking down at him.

He shuts his eyes again.

“What’re ya doin’? Yer actin’ like an idiot.”

He sits up, scrunching his nose because he feels like he’s about to fall again, never learning his lesson about moving too quickly in his state. “Shaddup! Why’re ya here?!”

You scowl. “Ya told me ya wanna see me, you scrub!”

He flushes and for some reason, you do too, embarrassed at his expense, but you reason that maybe that’s just his cold acting up so you huff, motioning for him to sit up properly so you can put the tray down, dropping the topic to avoid further awkwardness to an already awkward situation. He does so wordlessly, not really sure what to say or how to act so he just decides to obey you for the time being, watching your every move as you put the tray in front of him, watching strands of your hair falling from where you tucked them behind your ear, lips in a permanent scowl whenever you’re in front of him, eyelashes fluttering as you blink, and he wonders if he’s ever been this close to you before.

He blinks and your eyes are onto him too. His heart skips a beat.

“Yer still sick, right?” You put a hand up to touch his forehead but before your fingers even touch skin, he moves away. You raise an eyebrow.

“M’fine,” he insists as he busies himself looking down at the tray’s content, trying to not make it obvious that he’s nervous as hell. There’s a bowl of porridge, some medicine, and water. He frowns and before he can complain that he’s good enough to eat more proper food you smack him in the forehead lightly, laying your palm flat on it, checking his temperature anyway despite his protest earlier.

“Ow! What’s yer deal?!” He groans but it doesn’t really hurt, quite the contrary actually, the coolness of your hand quite soothing. Not like he’d say it out loud nor would he purposefully lean into it because you give him so much comfort it’s unreal. But he doesn’t draw away either.

“It’s cause yer so stubborn!” You scowl at him and then start to put your other hand on your own forehead, comparing temperatures. He finds the sight quite endearing, your brows furrowed, lips in a pout, and it’s really weird but that angry look in your face directed towards him actually makes him happy.

“What’re ya smilin’ about?” You draw your hand away, satisfied that Atsumu doesn’t seem that hot anymore, and Atsumu already finds himself missing the contact. He chews the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling but alas, to no avail. He just turns away and grabs the top of your head to block your view and at the same time push you further away from him in an attempt to save face.

“Atsumu!” You yelp and hold his wrist to pry it away but you didn’t really have to put in the effort because he quickly pulls back as if your touch burned him, gripping his wrist with his other hand before busying himself again with the contents of the tray. You look at him weirdly, tilting your head in confusion but before you can call him out, he opens his mouth and carelessly forces out words just to save his rapidly beating heart from your prying.

“Did ya cook this?” He asks and dares himself to steal a glance towards you, cheeks warming once again at the sight of you in his apron, “Yer even wearing my apron.”

It’s your turn to flush, hands coming up awkwardly to adjust the straps, and you’re grateful that Atsumu has his eyes trained down on the bowl of porridge. You contemplate for a second if you should take it off and embarrassment eventually won out so you reach behind your back to untie the unbelievably tight knot Osamu made just to get you to fit the apron.

“Yeah! I know how to cook that but yer mum helped me too!” You say as you struggle a bit and Atsumu notices, eventually sighing and motioning for you to turn over so he can do it himself. You pout (cutely again, Atsumu thinks) before obliging, turning your back on him and scooting close so he can reach you. Atsumu gulps. Somehow, he thinks there’s something intimate about this and he has to internally smack himself because he’s getting ahead of himself. 

“Hey, hurry up so ya can start eatin’ while it’s still hot.” You urge him on when you notice that he hasn’t moved an inch and Atsumu is forced to calm the heart that’s currently thrashing inside his chest as his hands start to work on untying the knot.

A minute into it, irritation has already replaced his previous nervousness.

“Who the hell tightened this?!”

You sigh, “Osamu-kun.”

“S’he plannin’ on never letting you out this apron?! That moron! Where is he anyway?!” He asks, all riled up. Your eye twitches.

“He said he’ll go fetch Suna-kun and hey,” you turn to him, shoo-ing his hands away and then cupping his cheeks, making all of his brain activity cease. You tilt your head, an eyebrow raising as if to taunt him and gosh, he misses these expressions of yours so much, so expressive and pretty (despite you cursing him with those malicious looks), unlike the ones you gave him these past few weeks. So cold and indifferent.

“Don’t get so riled up, what if ya strain yerself?” you ask, genuinely concerned and at the same time, scolding him. He snorts, closing his eyes and letting his hands cover yours, nuzzling into your palm, expression serene and soft. You feel yourself blush from head to toe, unable to process what he just did, but you don’t move away, hands feeling tingly from his touch. 

Ah. Atsumu’s so pretty.

“Sorry, we’ll just remove that later. I’ll go eat now,” he mutters before letting you go and you quickly bring your hands into your chest, clasping them and you almost barely hear him over the sound of your rapidly beating heart.

You’re so screwed.

Atsumu half-expects you to start spoon feeding him porridge but when it’s clear that you have no intention of doing that, he just sighs through his nose and picks up the spoon. Well, not like he could handle that gesture. He thinks the cold will come back and might even do him in for real and even then, he thinks he’ll be able to die happy.

The moment the spoonful of porridge enters his mouth, you clear your throat and he looks at you to find that you’re picking on his apron, nervous and shy, and my gosh , his heart is so full already, the porridge’s warmth and his admiration for you spreading through his chest.

“Is it good?” you ask.

“It’s the best, [Y/n].”

You look back at him and smile softly.

“That’s good then. Eat up, ‘Tsumu.”

Atsumu grips his spoon tightly.

Ah, he feels like crying.

***

Atsumu ate everything in the bowl much to your delight as you both chat about the upcoming tournaments. You clean everything up with a giddy smile on your face, one that Atsumu absolutely adores.

“Well, I’ll be goin’ now too.” You say as you pick up the tray, grinning at him, making him feel butterflies in his stomach. “Rest well, ‘kay?”

He nods despite feeling a bit sad that you’re going already, sad that you’re only here for a short time, but before you go, you shuffle in your feet and look as if you’re hesitant about saying something next.

Atsumu raises an eyebrow. “What?”

You bite your lower lip before sighing.

“I promise I won’t avoid ya anymore so don’t go avoidin’ me too.”

His heart skips a beat.

“Huh?”

“Don’t ‘huh’ me! Yer the one who made me promise that!”

Oh shit! Right, the phone call! Atsumu flusters, of fucking course, not-in-the-right-state-of-mind-Atsumu just had to make you promise that. He groans and buries his face in his hands, ashamed but also grateful for past Atsumu because his idiocy led to such a wonderful moment with you.

“Sorry, [Y/n], for being such a whiny bitch.”

“Damn right. And ya better tell me if ya find someone new too because I’d tell ya if I did too!”

He peeks through the gaps on his fingers. Should he admit that he remembers jackshit so he can get filled in in the sort of agreements you both agreed on while he’s delirious? But, he feels like you’re gonna rip him a new one if he did and you’d get unbelievably angry at him, as if it’s his fault that he was too sick to process any of them. He sighs. So far what you told him is reminiscent of his true feelings of loneliness anyway and it doesn’t seem like he said anything more than that (e.g. that he’s absolutely in love with you) so he just nods and gives you a smile.

“Sure. Thank you, [Y/n].”

You huff before turning your back on him.

“See ya tomorrow. Ya better get well soon! I still hafta beat you!”

Atsumu snorts.

“Mhm. You too.”

Atsumu falls back on his pillow and mattress the moment the door clicks shut and you’re out of the room. He holds out his hands in front of him, his palms calloused from years of playing volleyball. Yours was too, he felt it when you held hands for the first time and earlier too when you were touching his forehead and cupping his cheeks. He touches his own face. You’re no doubt just as much as a hard worker as him. He closes his eyes.

“Still hafta beat me, huh?”

***

Mrs. Miya made Osamu untie the knot he did on the apron you’re wearing and the entire time Osamu struggled to loosen the knot, Suna kept you company by telling you what Atsumu’s been up to the entire time you both were dumbassing around and avoiding each other.

“Suna-kun, what went on yer mind while you were recording that?” you ask, judging him a bit but still a bit amused as you hit the replay button on his phone, starting the video of Atsumu and Osamu brawling once again. Osamu just scoffs behind you, not really minding it because he handed Atsumu’s ass to him that time, as he diligently work on removing the knot, cursing himself a bit because why did he tie it so tightly in the first place. 

Suna snorts. “That I’ll be able to show how idiotic the Miya twins are.”

“Hey!” Osamu kicks the chair Suna’s sitting on and you chuckle at their antics.

“So that’s why you both had plasters on yer face the other day.”

“Well, yeah, and since there’s proof of my triumph, don’t let ‘Tsumu brag ‘bout beatin’ me around ya, ‘kay?” Osamu’s face lightens as he finally unties the knot and you snort at the delight on his face, a bit happy too now that you’re finally out of that apron and can finally go home.

Before you do though, you tap Suna on the shoulder and whip your phone out your pocket.

“Can ya send me the video?”

Suna smirks. “Sure.”

***

Both the boys’ and girls’ volleyball teams of Inarizaki High have been chosen as representatives for the Hyogo region. You greet Atsumu with a haughty smile, him doing the same, as you both show off your respective awards and Osamu calls you both scrubs and that he expected better of you, but you tease him back that he’s just as happy about his award, you and Atsumu suddenly ganging up on him and was only stopped because Kokoa pulled you away for a group picture, exclaiming something like ‘The hoe gets to have you later, bros first!’ . 

(“Pft, you just got called a hoe, ‘Tsumu.” “Shut it, ‘Samu.”)

When you’re both alone, sitting on one of the benches, resting before going back, Atsumu teases you about some missed plays you did that he witnessed because he’s always visiting the side of your court whenever he’s free, making you scowl and pinch him on the side. He’s relentless though, reminding you of every mistake you made and when you’ve just about had it, you take out your phone and make him watch the video of him getting his ass wiped by Osamu in a brawl.

Atsumu reaches for your phone, exclaiming ‘Where did you get that?!’ , and you hide it quickly on your side.

“None of yer business!”

“Delete it!” Atsumu scowls at you.

“Naw.” You stick your tongue out at him before pocketing the phone and grinning at him. He just grimaces at you before sighing.

Suddenly, he perks up and takes out his own phone.

“Hey, [Y/n], do ya have an insta?”

“I don’t have one.” You answer quickly. Atsumu gives you a judging look and you immediately pinch him for it, making him hiss and move away.

“Why not? Yer such a scrub, I swear.”

“I won’t post pictures anyway!” you say defensively. He just snorts at your reaction, finding it cute.

“I’ll make ya an account.” Suddenly he scoots closer to you, so close that your shoulders are touching. You try not to blush as he holds out his phone in front of you both, the camera app open and his finger just hovering above the capture button. You frown and he whines, nudging you.

“Come on! We’re supposedly datin’ but we don’t even have pictures together!”

“Is it a requirement?” You ask as you cover your face with a hand, still stubbornly refusing to have your picture taken alongside him. He turns to look at you disapprovingly and you can’t help but giggle a little bit. It’s fun to defy him and have him acting like a little brat sometimes.

Sometimes . Most of the time, it infuriates you.

“Man, yer so lame,” he mutters, sulking, and he just takes a picture of him making a disappointed face while you hide behind your hand. You laugh at the preview because he looks so pathetic. You nudge him playfully.

“Alright, alright! Stop actin’ like a big baby already.” 

Atsumu’s quick to grin as he positions the camera in front of you both again and you lean into his shoulder, putting your face close to his and sporting the most radiant smile he’s ever seen. It takes his breath away and he almost forgot to smile as he pushes the capture button.

Despite him being a little distracted, the picture turned out okay and he can’t believe he just captured such a radiant smile on camera. He feels queasy. You’re still leaning onto him as you peek at his phone to look at the selfie that makes you both look like a real couple.

Fuck. He feels like he’s just won more than being the representative.

He misses the way the tip of your ears redden.

“Hey, send me that photo.” You pull your phone out again.

“S-sure.” He swallows.

***

You started periodically joining Atsumu and Osamu again during lunch and he’s already known that Atsumu's background picture is a selfie of you both but he had the misfortune of accidentally seeing yours too one fine day.

He nearly gags.

Your phone's background picture is that selfie too.

Chapter Text

The next few days are spent preparing for the nationals; training and recording each player’s jump reach, height, and whatnot. You’re not exactly an all-around star player so your stats isn’t anything that jaw dropping compared to your peers. Still, you can pull off some amazing plays now and again but they aren’t that consistent since you tend to experiment even during tournaments regardless of them being mostly a hit or miss. (You got scolded for it once but you get curious sometimes if you could do things differently and still make it work.) It annoyed you to no end though when someone from an opposing team called you a fluke. Man, the sheer amount of pride you radiated once your team won the set because of a feint you did, gracing that girl with an infuriating smile that will surely render Atsumu proud.

A lot of people have told you that your setting style is quite sneaky but you don’t really get what they meant by that so you just give a polite smile, not really sure if you should thank them or take it as an insult. Even Atsumu told you that your style is so erratic that he has no idea what you’re about to do next. You’re about to insult him for it because he’s quite the same but then he shows you that large grin you quite like and tells you that he loves it, keeps things exciting.

You tighten your grip on the straps of your school bag and scowls.

“Whatever.”

Atsumu’s grin widens more if it’s possible. 

(He really likes you.)

On New Year’s Eve he gives you a call before the clock struck 12 just so he, in his own words, can be the first to greet you. It really, really makes you happy but at the same time there’s dread at the pit of your stomach because you can’t possibly think of some special meaning in such a gesture. He’s probably just making a show towards his mother and Osamu; the two seemed like the type to pester Atsumu about it considering how much they seem to like you. That’s it. Nothing more.

(Never in your life would you dream of Atsumu liking you.)

Coincidentally, that’s also the time when your parents find out that you’re ‘ dating ’ him. They ask who’s phoning you and when you tell them it’s a friend, they tease you that your smile is a little too wide for it to just be a ‘friend’.

“Don’t lie ta me, [Nickname]! I’ve seen ya goin’ home while bein’ lovey-dovey with this bleached haired boy a few times already!” Your mother laughs despite the accusatory tone and you all did nothing but blanch as she steals your phone away from your grasp.

“Mum! Wait-!”

“Hello! This is [Nickname]’s mum speakin’!”

Atsumu blanches on the other side of the phone too and a million thoughts run in his head, trying to find something to say because holy shit, he’s talking to your mother. Thankfully, the one his brain settles on saying isn’t something that disastrous.

“Happy new year, Mrs. [Surname].”

“You too!” Your mother beams and even though you know it’ll go well, considering how carefree your parents are (your mom moreso, your father a nervous wreck most of time just because of her e.g. he’s currently trying to silently persuade your mom to give back the phone), you still find yourself clasping your hands together and hoping to the gods that Atsumu won’t say anything inappropriate. 

“So, are ya the douche lookin’ boy who’s datin’ and walkin’ my daughter home?”

Forget about Atsumu saying something inappropriate, the one you should worry about is your mother.

“Mum!”

Atsumu’s jaw drops, utterly in disbelief. Shit, your mom thinks he looks like a douche?! Should he stop bleaching his hair?! Fuck!!

“Y-yes, I’m Miya, Atsumu,” he says, reluctantly, wondering if there’s another person walking you home besides him. He likes his bleached hair. He’ll talk to you about what you think about this.

“I see. Nice ta meet ya, Atsumu-kun. I’m [Surname], [Mother’s Name]. I hope yer treatin’ my daughter well!” 

“I am, ma’am, no need to worry,” Atsumu reassures quickly and before he can stop his mouth, “You should ask if she’s treatin’ me well.”

Atsumu sincerely wishes he can put his foot in his mouth but they’re currently in the living room, having a feast, and he doesn’t really want to explain to his mother and brother that he just made a fool of himself in a phone call with his crush’s mother. 

“I-I’m kiddin’-”

Your mother shoots you a look and you reflexively flinch.

“What?” He hears you ask defensively. Oooh no.

“[Nickname], are ya terrorizing this poor, handsome young man? That’s no way to treat yer boyfriend.”

“What?” You ask again, eyebrows furrowed this time, reaching for your phone again. Your mother dodges you, making you click your tongue. “Hey, ‘Tsumu! What’re ya tellin’ my mum!”

“Nothin’!” Your mom hears him reply and she guffaws, dodging your hand still and Atsumu thinks that you sort of sound like her but he hasn’t really heard you laugh that carelessly, so full of warmth and happiness, and he briefly wonders if he can get you to laugh like that too.

When your mom finally calms down after much berating from you and your father, she tells Atsumu to come by sometime and he’s welcome anytime.

So he does, picking you up in your house the next morning for a shrine visit.

Your mom fusses over him for a solid 10 minutes, forcing you both to take a picture together, and then gives Atsumu one of your scarves because he came just in a jacket. 

(Atsumu thinks it really isn’t that cold yet but he’s grateful for it anyway.)

(It smells just like you.)

Just as you both were about to leave, your mother makes a high pitched noise of disapproval.

“What?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed and Atsumu briefly thinks that maybe you got your grouchy attitude from your father, seeing that your mother is so sunny. He also thinks that his and your mother would get along quite well if the two ever have the (mis)fortune of meeting.

“Yer not gonna hold hands or anythin’?” She grins and both of you immediately flush at the suggestion. It’s something you both seem to actively avoid, completely shying away even if there are times your hands accidentally bump into each other during your walks. Atsumu has long given up in attempting to hold your hand, overtime thinking of himself as unworthy of such a miracle, content with just being able to stand next to you while chatting about stupid things  and seeing you either smile or frown, so it doesn’t really come as a shock when you simply scowl at your mother and grab his arm so you can push him along, out of your mother’s teasing gaze.

What comes as a shock is after a couple of blocks, you start fidgeting with your scarf and then eventually clearing your throat before asking, so meekly and quietly that he nearly doesn’t hear it-

“Do ya wanna hold hands?”

Atsumu isn’t even in the shrine yet but he’s already thinking of the bountiful offerings and amount of thank-you prayers he’ll send the spirits way for gracing him with a miracle. At the start of the year! Will he die? Is this like a final happy moment? Will it go downhill from here or is this a sign of things looking up? Will he eventually have you as his girlfriend by the end of the year? He’s a lucky dude (he thinks anyway even if he has the tendency to put his foot in his mouth) so it isn’t that impossible-

You click your tongue, cheeks reddening as Atsumu just stares at you flabbergasted, not saying anything, and your brain immediately tells you to get defensive, to save yourself from the humiliation for even offering such an absurd suggestion.

“I-it’s fine if ya don’t want ta. It’s just my m-mum-”

“I’d love ta!”

You’re taken aback by his outburst and Atsumu lowkey regrets it, embarrassed that he sounds overeager but the damage has been done already so all he can do is try to compose himself, even if he’s nearly vibrating in happiness and excitement, his hands feeling tingly as he holds it out for you. You stare at it for a few seconds before shyly holding onto it, the warmth and contact of his skin shooting off little electric shocks in your arm. You bite your lower lip as his grip on your hand tightens and he tugs you along so you both can resume your walk to the shrine. You wonder if Atsumu felt what you felt too.

(He did and so much more.)

“Your hand is warm,” you mumble. Atsumu didn’t think his smile could get any wider, but it does, as he shifts his hand a bit so he can intertwine his fingers with yours, carefully drawing circles in your hand with his thumb. You didn’t think it possible for your face to get redder too but it does, and you worry a bit that your palm might get sweaty despite the cold weather because of your nervousness pertaining to this situation.

“Your hand is warm too.”

Warm and small and lovely, soft but at the same time rough in some parts, especially your fingertips. Atsumu loves it all the same. Oh what he wouldn’t give to hold your hand for the rest of his life.

You run into Osamu and Suna on your way to the shrine and for some reason, you get the urge to tug free from Atsumu’s grasp but he doesn’t let go, giving you a betrayed look because this is exactly the perfect opportunity to show-off. You shoot him an apologetic look back but the whole ordeal is embarrassing nonetheless especially when you see Osamu and Suna’s disgusted faces and you’re quite grateful that it’s directed at Atsumu.

“Ew, pda-ing at the start of the year. Have you no shame?”

“Go bury yerself in a hole, ‘Tsumu.” Osamu scrunches his nose as he looks at the scarf Atsumu’s wearing, “Really? Ya didn’t wear one so ya can get one from [Y/n]’s?”

“Oh, shut up!” Atsumu kicks Osamu in the rear, making the other twin topple over a bit. Commence the infamous bickering of the Miya twins, one that you and Suna don’t really care much to stop, letting the two talk it out as you four head over to the shrine. They eventually quieted down, afraid of getting scolded by adults, but Osamu and Suna doesn’t let up in teasing Atsumu about being whipped whenever they catch him do something in service of you or when they catch him staring at your intertwined hands with a happy but flustered expression, Atsumu just giving them a scowl or flipping them off before huffing and pushing you away from the other two so you could get some alone time together. Osamu and Suna are determined to ruin Atsumu’s hopes for a date though, interrupting every chance they get and Atsumu briefly wonders if this is the misfortune he’s granted parallel to the blessing of getting to be at your presence, merely laughing at their antics.

Despite the teasing, he doesn’t let go of your hand, even as he forces Suna to take a picture of you both, bodies leaning towards each other in a form of unspoken requited attraction, a shy but happy smile gracing your faces, looking like a couple that is so utterly in love with each other.

You both are acutely aware of this as you both look at your photos.

(The both of you think that the other is such a good actor/actress that it’s starting to hurt living in such a fantasy.)

***

Nationals came and even then, Atsumu was insistent in having a picture taken before the fun of the games started, saying something along the lines of ‘it’d be fun to look back to it a couple of years later’. Sure, you agree, but you’re pretty sure that you both would’ve already broken off this pretend relationship after a couple of years and there wouldn’t be much point in all of these keepsakes he’s trying to make.

“No point? I’d be a famous player one day, wouldn’t ya like ta brag that ya dated such a hunk? No one would know we’re only pretendin’ anyway.”

You cringe at what he said and he merely laughs, dropping the smile quickly and pinching your side when you start to gag. You swat his hand away.

“Excuse me, I’d be a famous player one day too and I’d like no evidence that I dated such a moron.”

“Rude!” He grabs your head to ruffle your hair, making you yelp, hands coming up to pry his away from you.

“Let go, dumbass! Your hands are heavy!”

“Take it back first!”

“No way, I’m not a scrub!”

You both were broken apart shortly by your teammates, scolding you both for loitering around but before Atsumu gets fully separated from you, he grabs your wrist and pulls you towards him, kissing you on the cheek. You just look at him wide-eyed, face red. He chuckles and lets go before Osamu grabs him by the collar and drags him out of there. 

“Good luck on yer games, [Y/n]!” 

You bring a hand up to cover the cheek he kissed, watching him wave to you one last time as Osamu gives him dirty looks, lastly nodding at you politely as goodbye. Aoi, a fellow first year teammate that came to get you, just also stood there, flabbergasted and flustered on your behalf and before he’s completely out of earshot, you call his name before flipping him off and sticking your tongue out.

“Good luck ta ya too, scrub!”

Atsumu grins.

Ah, he’s so in love with you.

***

Both your teams fare well, quickly climbing up your way to victory, earning the eye and interest of people as strongest challengers. Inarizaki has been a powerhouse school for a while now but seeing new powerful players play for them is always such a delight. It has also come to the attention of the public populace that the setters of both the boy’s and girl’s teams are both noteworthy in their own special ways. 

Atsumu (who shares the glory a bit with Osamu, not that he particularly minds) gets praised for his aggressive plays. His tosses are also remarked to be very easy to hit, sure and unwavering, creating the illusion that the spikers have improved way beyond what they currently can do. You, meanwhile, reign the court with your intellect, tosses just as aggressive as Atsumu’s are, never letting up with attacks no matter how broken the receive is, still setting the ball up as best as you can no matter the position you find yourself in. Your tosses are very easy to hit too but sometimes your spikers get surprised when the ball comes their way when it seems like it wouldn’t, not like it matters because they promised you that they would hit every ball with everything they’ve got. You’re an enigma, unusually calm inside the court, suppressing any emotion that wants to come into surface, making you incredibly hard to read. You don’t make any unnecessary movements either, so sturdy and so sure.

Atsumu’s quite taken with flashy attacks but you lean more into unassuming ones. Nonetheless, you both cause quite a ruckus inside the court, especially with serves. A spike serve is the only thing in your arsenal at the moment (unlike Atsumu who also has the jump floater serve) but man , the sound it creates still makes Atsumu shiver the one time he was fortunate enough to have time to watch your match for a bit as they wait for their next lineup.

(“Why don’t ya become a spiker? Ya hit quite hard.”

“I like bein’ a setter, mind yer own business.”)

You both agreed to hang out every evening outside for a little chit-chat but both your respective captains have scolded you both, worrying that either of you could catch a cold in the freezing weather so you both settle for phone calls, telling each other your matches and sharing analyzation of your opponents, just in case either of you could encounter a similar scenario. You quite like hearing his voice and he does too, the melody of your voice always nearly knocking him out, so soothing and lovely, even more when you giggle at one of his quips or playfully tease him about being lame.

“Shushin’ the orchestra with a hand, pfft. Yer so lame, it’s embarrassin’.”

“Hey! Gin said it was cool!”

“Sure, sure.”

(You’d never tell him that when you saw him do that gesture during one of your breaks after a gruelling match, the first thing that came out of your mouth is-

“He’s so cool.”

Before hitting your wrist repeatedly because you can’t believe you said that out loud, a snickering Aoi at your side.)

And in the blink of an eye, after much, much fun matches with incredibly powerful teams, it’s finally the semi-finals.

You file your nails as you glance repeatedly at the wall clock inside the gym, the hands ticking inside your head as your teammates practice their serves inside the court. On the other side your libero catches every ball she can, tiny body zipping around the court quickly. You snort at the sight as she leans down to gracefully receive a ball before quickly rising up, a half-step, before going to another ball. You observe your teammates carefully, mulling over how much it’s a delight and an honor to play with such powerful players. Your captain catches your gaze, pouting at you before motioning for you to come over and set for her, an invitation that you accept wholeheartedly, stuffing your nail file inside your jacket as you jog over to her.

Your coach soon walks inside to call for you all to get ready and suddenly the nerves settle inside your body again, hands becoming cold and you briefly wonder if Atsumu’s match is starting too. Their opponent this time is Mujinazaka High School, right? One of the top three spikers in the nation is in that team. You bet Atsumu’s buzzing in excitement by now.

You take a deep breath as you change into your uniform.The current best high school setter of Japan is in the team your team will be playing against, that’s why you’re so nervous today. You feel like you have something to prove, to show to her face and to everyone that you’re better. You expressed this to Atsumu last night and all he had to say was to take it easy and to not be too greedy. You guess it put you in a bad mood and you both had a bit of an argument about it (the reason being you sulking and thinking that, of course, he’d say that; he’s guaranteed to receive the best high school setter next and it kind of hurt your pride that he was deemed best server when he was in middle high, fairly certain he’ll receive such an award again) and the phone call ended bitterly, solemnly wishing each other good luck for tomorrow before bidding good night.

He greeted you this morning with a strained smile so you guess it’s not that bad.

Still.

Kokoa slaps you in the back and then proceeds to laugh when you cough uncontrollably from the impact.

“S-senpai!” You cough out. She just smiles at you.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it,” she says with that confident grin of hers as she adjusts the tape on her fingers. (You have one too, in your right pinky.) “You’re the best setter ta us.”

You look at her and after a few moments, you snort. You feel like you’re going to cry. 

“Thank you.”

You really do love your team.

You hit your cheeks hard, startling Kokoa, huffing out a breath before straightening up.

“Let’s do this.”

***

Your team lost, 2-1. Kokoa’s ankle is injured. You think your right pinky is a little broken from blocking a hit earlier.

As if seeing your upperclassmen cry didn’t hurt enough, you feel like you got slapped in the face when the other team’s setter shook your hand and asked with a smile-

“You’re that setter Miya’s girlfriend, right? I saw your face in his social media,” she states a matter-of-factly as her eyes narrow down at you. 

“Too bad, huh? Wonder what he’d think.”

The words echo inside your head as you absent-mindedly hug your team, their tears and sweat mingling with each other’s body as they all hold each other, strong arms and hands around your form and it aches, it aches , it really hurts, especially when your team consisted of upperclassmen, so sturdy and strong and so reassuring. You hold back your tears, refusing to show any sign of weakness even at the face of your friends as they whisper words of praises and congrats and you did well and I’m proud of you , Kokoa limping as she struggled with her little arms to bring you all to her embrace, the captain practically whimpering as she helps hoist the other girl up.

You close your eyes and wail internally, lamenting the fact that the playtime with this wonderful team is over in an instant. You like this team. You would’ve given it your all for this team to reign the nationals but alas, your all isn't enough. The pain in your chest stings you more as you acknowledge the fact that in the third set, you mildly panicked, too preoccupied with besting the other team’s setter.

You swallow.

“I’m so-” “Shut up, [Y/n].” Kokoa hiccups as she glares at you, hand reaching to ruffle your hair fondly. You feel the corner of your eyes sting.

“Give the best tosses next time too, alright?” Your captain sniffs as she gives you a shaky smile, a smile that holds so much. 

“Yeah! Show the nationals what yer made of again!” Kokoa adds, guffawing as she pulls the captain close with an arm.

Your lips tremble as you line up with your fellow first years and second years, facing the third years as you all bow down to them in gratitude.

“Thank you very much!”

***

Atsumu is over the moon about the win against Mujinazaka High School, hugging his teammates with glee as they all yell about the victory despite the exhaustion. Once he’s off the court, the next logical step is to check up on you, of course, half-assedly telling Osamu that he’ll be back soon as he pulls his jacket over himself, rushing along even as Osamu protests a little, but the moment he gets on the your side of the stadium, seeing your teammates all downcast firsthand wasn’t exactly the best sign of how your match went.

“Uh, is [Y/n] around?” He asks… Aoi? He’s not entirely sure. Aoi(?) just looks at him nervously before gesturing down the hall. He thanks her politely before going the way she pointed and sure enough, you’re there, sitting in one of the benches, head leaning on the wall with your eyes closed. Your nose is a bit red and when he calls you and you open your eyes to look at him, it’s a bit red on the corners as if you’ve been trying to stop yourself from crying. He smiles softly at you and you just stare at him as he comes nearer, scooting a bit to the side to make room for him. He gratefully takes it, sitting close to you as he gingerly takes your hand into his.

You squeeze his hand. It’s warm. As it always is. A bit calloused and rough but it’s warm. 

“Seein’ as yer not immediately complainin’ ta me, I take it ya made it ta the finals?” You ask, voice soft and beaten and somehow it hurts Atsumu too. Losses are part of the game too but man, does he know that it’s kind of a bitch.

He squeezes your hand. Hands that are always a little bit cold. A bit calloused and cold but it’s soft and tender, hands that never fail to illicit nothing but affection from him.

“Yeah,” he mutters, chewing the inside of his cheek, not really sure what to say in such a situation, “I know it won’t much handle comin’ from me but I just know ya did yer best.”

You scrunch your nose. “No, I didn’t.”

He nudges you gently. “Come on now, [Y/n].”

“I really didn’t,” you say, voice shaky, tears threatening to fall once again but you don’t dare- not in front of him.

“Why do ya think that?” He asks, softly, and you’ve never heard him use this tone before and suddenly, tears are spilling because it’s so tender and sweet and caring and my gosh, Atsumu, what are you doing to me-

“I felt like I had ta prove somethin’. I completely forgot that I’m not just a single person in the court, there were 5 more people and I- I-” you gasp for air as more tears come out of you and Atsumu quickly shrugs his jacket off to wrap around you as he pulls you in his embrace, your face buried in his chest as he shushes you gently, rubbing your back in an attempt to calm you down. You sob, tears wetting his shirt, and it hurts Atsumu to feel you tremble against him, trying to contain so much emotion inside that body of yours.

“I love my team, y’know. I feel such a stupid idiot for not enjoyin’ this time with them. I wish I could play more. I wish I could play more with them. They’re so cool, y’know-” you hiccup and Atsumu hums, letting you ramble on, assuring that he’ll listen to every single word you say no matter how incoherent they are right now. You don’t say anything anymore as you keep sobbing into his chest, letting out everything that hurts right now, your broken pride, your disappointment with yourself, everything , letting out everything while wrapped in his arms, one of your hands intertwined with one of his, his jacket covering you from prying eyes, his scent and low tone of voice reassuring you that it’s okay. In this moment of time, with Atsumu’s soft and chapped lips on your temple, you feel like it’s okay.

You feel like you’re home.

***

Inarizaku eventually lost to Itachiyama in the finals, much to the twin’s chagrin, and sure enough, Atsumu was presented with a bunch of awards, awards that he flashily presented to you after the awarding ceremony. Your team stayed back to cheer on the boy’s team that’s why you got to witness Atsumu in action and you’re once again reminded that you have a lot of catching up to do to him and to that girl who rightfully and figuratively spat on your face.

He insists on taking a picture again, a before and after of the nationals he says, and you really want to hit him in the gut because he wants to take a picture with awards in hand as if to flex on your scrubby self.

“Come on, [Y/n]! Aren’t ya proud of me?” He pouts as he nudges you playfully, Osamu already tired of both of your antics as he once calls again for you to pose properly for the camera. You shoot Osamu an apologetic look before composing yourself, a feat that is thwarted quickly when Atsumu smoothly slides his hand to hold yours. You blush at the tip of your ears and internally curse because you could never get used to his warmth.

“I am proud of you, it’s just that yer so infuriating about it that it pisses me off.” You sigh. Atsumu chuckles.

“No matter, you’d be holdin’ the best high school setter award too next year, I bet.”

You flinch.

“Too bad, huh? Wonder what he’d think.”

“Don’t kid with me. I mean, I want ta be awarded but I still have a long way to go.”

Atsumu squeezes your hand.

“I watched the replays.”

You frown and you’re about to let go of his hand when he grips it again tighter, but not enough to hurt. You feel your heart start to thrash around inside your chest as he leans closer to you, head bumping into yours as he smiles for the camera for the nth time.

“Ya did well, y’know,” he whispers, “That long way is just a short way ahead. Believe in yerself more, idiot.

“I believe in ya. Yer the best for me. I’d even elaborate some wonderful tosses and plays ya did in that match just ta prove it."

“Three!” Osamu counts with Suna by his side, the latter internally laughing about how Osamu seems to third wheel you both often.

(He fails to acknowledge that he’s the fourth wheel.)

You look at Atsumu in disbelief and he looks on ahead, on the camera, with that breathtaking smile of his.

“Two!”

You chuckle. “Man, I can’t believe ya.”

“Ya better!” Atsumu huffs.

“One!”

You quickly get on your tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.

(“Oh, that’s a good shot.” Suna offers as he looks down at the photo Osamu just took.

Osamu sighs. “I’m tired of this shit. Seein’ yer brother with a pretty girlfriend. Feels like an insult to my whole bein’.”)

Atsumu looks at you, face as red as a tomato, eyes wide and mouth agape. You smile at him tenderly.

“Better watch out for me next year then, Mr. Best High School Setter.”

Looking down at you, hearing nothing but his own beating heart, acutely aware that you're holding his hand, feeling like his whole system shutting down at the face of such a goddess, Atsumu decides then and there that he’s yours for the rest of his life.

Chapter Text

Atsumu swears he falls a little bit more each time he gets to hang out with you and it’s not like he particularly minds that, enjoying every bit of your company on the remaining days of your first year of senior high, but when vacation starts, he finds himself thinking that maybe your absence will snap him out of this infatuated state and he’ll function again as a regular human being when he’s in front of you.

Which is hopeful thinking in his part because a week in and he’s already missing you.

You both had a talk about your situation before parting and you both agreed that sure , you’ll continue this charade until second year because so far, it has warded off unwanted pursuers and it’s not like you guys are particularly upholding the commitment a real relationship entails; you act more like close friends now more than anything (with the bonus of always walking home together while holding hands and the brief after practice dates in Asahara-san’s store) so you both guess it’s okay. It’s not like it’s a hassle or anything; communicating in messages, trading jokes and sometimes random updates, and the occasional phone calls in the evening. Those aren't something both of you deem as a chore, in fact you both quite enjoy those little moments. He guesses you guys are technically dating for real, just without the important element.

Mutual feelings.

He sighs as he trudges in their living room, intending to collapse on the sofa, coming home from a match with the neighbourhood volleyball association. It’s where him and Osamu spend their time playing volleyball when the team isn’t available and it’s good practice since they usually play with adults. Much, much more powerful and skilled adults.

Laying face first on the sofa, Osamu sits next to him with a platter of snacks before turning the tv on to watch some obnoxious game show the both of them took a shine on lately. Atsumu just watches quietly with his twin but his attention was soon taken by the buzzing phone in his pocket. He hurriedly fishes it out of said pocket and his eyes immediately light up when he reads your name on the screen, a smile automatically making its way to his face as he takes in the content of your message. 

[You wish you were me.]

It’s a pretty picture of the sea.

He quickly types a reply back.

[Idiot.]

“Y’know, I’ve been wonderin’, aren’t ya and [Y/n] goin’ on a date or somethin’? It’s already been a few weeks but all you’ve done is hang out and practice with me,” Osamu says as he licks his finger clean of the onigiri he just gobbled up. Atsumu scoffs.

“What? It sounds like ya don’t wanna hang out with me anymore. I’m hurt, ‘Samu.”

“It doesn’t just sound like it, I’m getting sick of yer company for real, ‘Tsumu.”

Atsumu kicks Osamu, making the latter almost drop his plate. Osamu kicks him back but before they can lunge at each other, their mother clears her throat in the hallway, making both of them freeze up and act like nothing happened.

“She’s on a vacation with her family,” Atsumu says later as they’re heading towards their room. Osamu just hums.

“Tragic for ya, huh.”

“Oh, shut it.”

Atsumu realizes later, 30 minutes in game with Osamu, that he hasn’t been spending that much time with the grey haired twin once he started ‘dating’ you. Sure, they’re almost 24/7 together but lately all his attention has been on you, mind wandering every moment to think about you and your smile and your hands in his, that he hasn’t really been that present whenever he does hang out with Osamu.

He suddenly reaches over and ruffles Osamu’s hair, making the other twin scowl, brushing his hand off.

“The fuck are ya doin’?”

Atsumu shrugs.

“Nothin’. Love ya, ‘Samu.”

Osamu grimaces. “Ew. Is this some sort of tactic or somethin’ to get me ta lose in game?”

Atsumu just laughs, sticking his tongue out at his twin before playfully nudging him. Osamu just karate chops his side, Atsumu cursing him a second later. But when he sees Osamu snort and smile a little, he finds himself thinking that brotherly time isn’t that bad once in a while.

***

But seeing you is the best after all. Atsumu didn't need to worry about snapping out of his infatuated state because that idea immediately crashes down when he gets to see you again, so pretty and perfect, and he briefly wonders why he even thought that he’ll be able to get over you while you’re absent.

(You never sent him any selfies during that vacation, depriving him of content, though it’s not like he can ever forget what you look like anyway.)

“Hello.” You politely greet the three of them, Osamu and Suna greeting you back politely like a normal person but what Atsumu does and says is-

“Oooh, yer a little tanned.” Atsumu grabs your arm to compare his skin tone to yours, eager to touch you again to prove to himself that you’re real and not some deity that his mind conjured up. You yank your arm away from his hand, scowling at him and rolling your eyes.

“Well, duh.”

You cover the part he touched with a hand, already feeling a bit weird because of it. Damn it, it seems like your brief break with Atsumu didn’t make your feelings waver either.

“Pardon him, [Y/n], ya know my brother is a little dumb but he’s tryin’ his best.” Osamu quips next to him, making Atsumu scowl and shove his brother lightly by the shoulder. Osamu pushes him back, Atsumu doing the same again as retaliation, and they continue on like that, faces getting more pissed off by the second. You wouldn’t normally interfere since it doesn’t seem that bad, just a normal occurrence with the Miya twins, but when Suna whips out his phone to record the brewing fight, you step in between the two, smiling at Suna apologetically for ruining his fun.

(It startles Suna a bit. You don’t really smile at him often, heck he rarely ever sees you smile at Atsumu.)

“That’s enough, you two.” You regard Atsumu with a judging look, sending a silent message that he should know better than to squabble about such a petty statement. Atsumu answers with an eyebrow raise, communicating that you aren’t any better and it’s true so you hit him in the arm in annoyance. Atsumu grabs your head to ruffle your hair, making you angrier, and man, Atsumu missed you. Suna is the one to interfere this time, noting that the four of you would be late and that you all should go check out what class you’re all in.

To Atsumu’s dismay and Suna and Osamu’s amusement, Atsumu’s the only one in a different class.

Osamu and Suna put an arm on either side of you, antagonizing Atsumu with haughty smiles and for some reason, you didn’t really mind being caged in between the two, not even complaining a bit even though you gave Atsumu hell for even as much as lightly grazing his fingers on your hair back then. 

“We’ll be seein’ ya, ‘Tsumu.”

(Well, Osamu and Suna are your friends now, you guess, and they aren’t as annoying as Atsumu in retrospect. Osamu’s a bit similar to Atsumu, since they’re twins and all, but he’s calmer, a trait that you sometimes wish Atsumu possessed too.)

(Though you like Atsumu the way he is. Not like you’ll ever admit that to the guy.)

Atsumu felt like this is the biggest betrayal he has ever experienced in his life.

“You guys planned this, didn’t ya?!” He accused, gently grabbing your wrist so he can pull you away from the two, wrapping an arm around you, your face in his chest, beet red, as he half-hugs you tighter, unaware that the gesture flusters you so much.

“How could we plan this, moron?” Osamu answers, miffed.

“I dunno! Did ya ask the admin or somethin’?!”

“Yer such a scrub for suggesting that.”

“Alright, alright, break it up.” Suna sighs as he claps twice, getting the twins’ and your attention, successfully bringing you back to earth. You flinch before prying yourself away from Atsumu’s grasp, trying to act normal as you dust yourself off once you’re out of his embrace.

Atsumu pouts at you, no doubt upset that he’s no longer your classmate, and you would normally ignore him when he gets whiny like this but you guess you haven’t seen him for a while that you can’t help but dote on him. You wait for Osamu and Suna to walk ahead before grabbing a pouting Atsumu’s hand, making him perk up. You look away, refusing to make eye contact with him as you hold his hand tighter.

“Don’t worry, we can still hang out during lunch and we’ll still walk home together, right?”

If Atsumu has a tail, it’d be wagging right now.

He bumps his shoulder into yours.

“F’course.” He smiles widely, heart happy and full because you’re the one who proposes it, making him positive that his company is not unwanted.

( Hey, [Y/n], I like you. )

***

Aoi turns out to be a classmate too so you either hang out with her or the two boys or sometimes with all of them, Osamu and Suna not minding the extra company even though Aoi was shaking during the first time you forced her to have lunch with them. As promised, Atsumu goes to your classroom or you go to his, eventually agreeing on a schedule. Sometimes you both have lunch alone or join along with your friends, Atsumu usually being the butt of Osamu and Suna’s jokes. More often than not, Osamu’s always with you guys too even if Suna isn’t around, the Miya twins inseparable even though they act like they’d rather be anywhere than in the company of each other.

Time passes by relatively fast and you think your second year isn’t that eventful since Atsumu isn’t in your case all the time anymore compared to when you were both classmates and you guess your arguments aren't that frequent compared to back then too even though you two still have your moments sometimes.

(There was a time where you both argued about splitting expenses when you were in Asahara-san’s store and Suna offhandedly commented about how you two sound like you’re having marital problems, flustering you and Atsumu.)

One evening, on the way home, Osamu suddenly asks, “When’s yer anniversary?”

You and Atsumu stop in your tracks and exchange looks. You bite the inside of your cheek and he smirks warily.

Shit, you both don’t know.

“Why?” Atsumu asks instead, avoiding the question altogether. 

Osamu shrugs. “Just curious. Didn’t expect ‘Tsumu ta last this long, to be honest. He’s always been mean ta girls.”

“Why aren’t I surprised?” You narrow your eyes at Atsumu and he pointedly looks away, feigning ignorance. He was rude to you too when you first had the opportunity to talk but you don’t know that Atsumu usually doesn’t even utter a word to people he isn’t interested in, opting on completely ignoring anyone who shows interest in him or those who talk shit about him behind his back. He thinks that their opinion doesn’t matter anyway, if he himself shows results and is satisfied with himself, he doesn't need anyone else.

You are the only anomaly. The only person whose attention he actively seeks out.

“I mean, I’ve seen him glare at and mouth ‘pigs’ to some girls who cheered him on during his serve during the nationals and my gosh, I wanted ta deck him so hard for their sake.”

“Well, they deserved it! The cheering squad went silent for a reason and yet they did that!”

“They’re just tryin’ ta cheer ya on, what’s so bad ‘bout that?!”

“I need ta concentrate!”

“Awww, widdle ‘Tsumu can’t concentrate when there’s a little noise?”

Atsumu blushes, finding your baby-talk adorable and infuriating at the same time, “Why you-!”

Osamu just watches as you two bicker, undeniably a couple of idiots who’s in love with each other. Oddly enough, you two aren’t holding hands this time, a thing Osamu notices that the both of you particularly like to do. 

(You had a talk with Atsumu that maybe you’re holding hands a little too much that it’s embarrassing, so even if Atsumu isn’t that thrilled in stopping, he just bends to your will before you threaten to stop holding hands altogether.)

Osamu had found it quite strange at first that Atsumu showed interest in you, if he’s being honest. He thought it was just his imagination when Atsumu was a bit taken by you during that middle school training camp, chalking it up as simple curiosity or maybe you got in Atsumu’s nerves enough to warrant his attention, but when it turns out you were a classmate in the first year of senior high, he finds himself surprised at hearing Atsumu mention you now and again with a positive smile in his face. Even more surprised when Atsumu starts inviting you to lunch with them, seemingly attempting to be friendly with you despite you not being particularly thrilled about it. If anything Osamu felt like you became fast friends with him at first even if he hadn’t made any effort to do so, making Atsumu pout and whine.

That’s when Osamu notices what’s going on. 

Atsumu has a crush.

It was fun seeing Atsumu fail and fail and fail in every one of his attempts to get closer to you, since you generally had no patience for Atsumu’s antics, so imagine the shock when Osamu hears that the two of you are allegedly dating. 

Osamu thought it was fake at first, that it’s just a rumor, but when Atsumu confirms it, the next assumption is that you guys are faking it since he knows when Atsumu is lying. But then you went ahead and told him and Suna just how much you like his twin and refused to break up. The whiplash honestly shook Osamu a little bit to his core and Suna just reasons with him that maybe your and Atsumu’s relationship is just that weird so he lets it be, watching things happen and a lot has happened and now seeing the two of you acting like an old married couple in front of his very eyes, he wonders if you two had really liked each other from the start and is just starting to come out of your shell about showing your affections.

Well, no matter. Osamu snorts.

“What’re ya laughin’ ‘bout?!” Atsumu snaps at him and Osamu just scowls. You swat at Atsumu.

“Leave Osamu-kun alone of yer idiocy.”

“Yeah, leave me alone, ‘Tsumu,” Osamu adds, just to annoy Atsumu more. The latter’s eye twitches before looking back at you.

“Excuse me, is my own girlfriend siding with my brother?”

Your face reddens, not really used to being referred that way, but also because of the fact that the rest of what he said irritates you.

“ Huh?! What gives! I’m just sayin’ yer bein’ rude for nothin’!” You scowl before turning your back on Atsumu. Atsumu, sensing that he stepped into a landmine, suddenly turns docile and starts sweet talking and coaxing you back into a good mood. You keep stubbornly refusing to look at him but Osamu can see how you’re trying so hard to not let a smile break out your face as Atsumu starts bribing you with meat buns.

Osamu smiles a little. 

He’s really glad Atsumu found you.

( Hey, [Y/n], take care of 'Tsumu for me, will ya? )

***

“Granny, what do ya usually do on anniversaries?” Atsumu asks as he pays for the stuff he bought on the counter. The old woman just chuckles as she takes his payment and then hands over the paper bag with all his stuff inside.

“Go on a date? Isn’t that the most common thing ta do?” Asahara-san tilts her head.

“Well yeah, but…” Atsumu scratches the back of his head, “Um… what dates?”

“My, don’t ya and [Y/n]-chan go on dates often?”

“N-no, not like that! We go on dates often!” In this store , he thinks, “But like, isn’t that pretty standard stuff? Shouldn’t it be more grand since it’s an anniversary? What kind of date do ya think I should take her?” Atsumu sighs as he fidgets with the paper bag. He remembered that he saved the first ever message you sent him and that’s when you both agreed to ‘date’ so the day he received that is technically the date of your anniversary. 

Which is next week.

You haven’t really mentioned anything about it even after Osamu brought it up and Atsumu thinks you don’t really care for stuff like that but he does.

(Because he wants to experience all his first times with you. Even if you both are just technically playing house. He’ll take what he can get while you’re still bound to him.)

“Why not go on a standard date and then buy her a gift? I’m sure she’d love that.” Asahara-san offers with a gentle smile, mindful that highschoolers still have budget limits so fancy dates are rarely an option. That makes Atsumu perk up and grin excitedly, thanking the old woman for advice and giving her praises flowery enough to make her giggle like a young schoolgirl.

“Ah, yer so silly, ‘Tsumu-chan. Speaking of [Y/n]-chan, where is she anyway?”

“Oh! She said she had somethin’ ta attend to for a bit and that she’ll just catch up. Said that I should go on ahead in here ta buy some snacks.”

“Eh? Why didn’t ya just wait for her?”

“That’s what I told her but she got angry at me.” Atsumu huffs, remembering how difficult you were being earlier, practically driving him off with everything you have before turning your back on him and going your own way. He figures you’re just in a bad mood, maybe practice didn’t go so well, and he wonders if he should ask you out tomorrow instead of today regarding your anniversary. There’s a chance that you might reject the idea completely and shatter his heart into pieces.

(Not like he particularly minds. He’d take whatever as long as it’s you.)

You enter the shop a little later with a tired sigh, smiling at Asahara-san and greeting her just as she was serving Atsumu some tea. Atsumu instinctively perks up at your presence, always excited to see you, and scoots a bit to make some space for you at the small table. You sit next to him, close enough that your shoulders are brushing, and he has to contain himself because he’s seconds away from latching on to you. He settles on holding hands instead but before he can slip his hand on yours, he notices that some of your fingers on your left hand are taped together.

He grabs it gently anyway, startling you a bit because Asahara-san was just talking to you.

“What?” You ask, not really pulling away from his touch. Atsumu delights in that. You two sure have come a long way; if it was back then, you’d positively be kicking him to the ground right now, yelling at him for touching you.

“Ya got an injury?” He inspects your hand closer, turning it over.

You sigh, “Yeah. I really suck at blocking, apparently. If ya want ta hold hands, we can do it with my other hand.” You bring up said uninjured hand, which surprises Atsumu, because huh? What? Are you really offering your other hand just so you can hold hands while snacking together in this small shop? Atsumu’s brain short circuits a bit as he stares at your outstretched hand and Asahara-san chuckles to herself because it looks like you two are getting along well.

After a few moments of silence, you fluster because Atsumu’s not responding and you’re about to exclaim ‘Nevermind!’ and pull your hand back but before you could do, Atsumu’s already grabbing it.

“‘Kay! But wouldn’t it be uncomfortable in this position? Let’s switch seats!” He shots up quickly, ushering you to move over to his previous spot while he sits on yours. He quickly holds your hand then, intertwining your fingers together, making you feel things and you call him an idiot just for the sake of damage control on your poor little heart that’s falling for him further just because of one simple gesture.

“Is that why ya stayed behind? Is it fine?” He inquires, still worried about your hand. You wiggle it in front of him to reassure him.

“Yeah, I went ta the infirmary. The nurse said it’s fine.”

Asahara-san offers to get you tea too and you both snap back out of your bubble, reminded that you two aren’t alone together, flusteredly thanking the old woman and then offering for the three of you to have snacks together. She agrees to join you for a bit but only for a bit because she has a shop to tend to, but that bit of time is still enjoyable as you two exchange stories with the old woman, excitedly listening to her, Atsumu squeezing your hand then and again under the table, making you feel butterflies.

When Asahara-san thanks you both and excuses herself, Atsumu suddenly asks.

“So, [Y/n], our anniversary is next week. Wanna go out that day?”

That surprises you.

“Huh? Really?” He nods, snorting at the look of disbelief in your face. When it looks like you’re unsure, he quickly offers-

“We don’t hafta go out if ya don’t want ta.”

“I want to!” You exclaim, leaning over to him to make a point. The proximity makes his heart skip a beat and for the first time, he wonders what it’s like to kiss you on the lips.

(Not really the first time but he’s been actively avoiding thinking about it because it just hurts at how much he wants to do it but he knows he can’t. Even then, holding hands and those ultra mega rare cheek kisses is too much for his heart already, he’s afraid what might happen if he does get to kiss you.)

(He thinks he’ll actually pass away.)

Atsumu averts his gaze, focusing on the shop’s front door instead. “‘Kay then. It’s a date. We’ll discuss the details later or tomorrow if yer too tired right now…?” He asks, voice soft, and you could do nothing but nod and stare at him, adoration in your eyes because Atsumu really just asked you out to celebrate your anniversary even though you don’t really have to. You guess it’s just to show-off, a thing Atsumu likes to do, but still...

You can’t believe that you’ve been falling deeper and deeper in love with him for a year already.

You look down at your cup of tea, watching the bottom swirl.

“How’d ya find out the date we started doin’ this anyway?” You scoff, trying to hide how mushy he’s making you feel right now, how happy you are that you get to hold his calloused but warm hands that you like so much and how conflicted you are that all of this isn’t real, that most of his affection just comes from pretending, putting up a show, and the fact that maybe Atsumu just considers you a good enough friend to be openly affectionate with.

“It’s a secret.” Atsumu says and when you look at him, he smiles at you so tenderly, eyes crinkling at the sides, gaze soft and caring, and you feel loved, you really do, and you wonder if Atsumu’s just a good actor or he’s just as in love as you are.

Ah, you’re falling into a deep pit and you don’t know how to get out of it.

All you can blame is that soft smile of his, throwing your heart and thoughts in disarray.

You hold his hand tighter as you look away.

( Hey, Atsumu, I’m in love with you. )

Chapter Text

Atsumu is absolutely ecstatic. He almost got no sleep, too excited for today to rest his eyes, but he eventually forced himself to sleep after Osamu yelled at him for thrashing around so much. Well, he guesses that’s a good thing because it’d suck if he came to your date with dark circles under his eyes.

That’s right. Today’s the day.

The anniversary.

Atsumu could barely suppress a smile as he slicks his hair back, trying to style it, in an effort to make himself look more handsome than he already is, occasionally playfully winking at himself in the mirror, imagining how you’ll react to him. Would you get flustered? Would you be annoyed? He sure does hope you give a reaction though or else he’ll be crestfallen during such a supposedly special day.

(Osamu catches him winking at himself in the mirror, making the grey haired twin cringe and laugh uncontrollably at the same time, an embarrassed Atsumu yelling at him to get out. Suna messages Atsumu a little bit later, teasing him and at the same time congratulating and wishing him good luck on the date.)

(Gin messages him too, Atsumu pocketing his phone, already having enough of their shit, and ignoring the onslaught of messages as he freshens up once more.)

You both agreed to meet up at the entrance of the mall even though Atsumu insisted that he can go pick you up, but you felt so strongly about it that in the end he just lets it go. So the entrance of the mall it is. He is way too early but he can’t take being in the house anymore and he can tell Osamu’s getting pissed at how he paces around the house so after checking one last time if he got everything he needed and his mom fussing over him, patting down some strands of hair that he missed, he eventually called out to his family that he’s off.

He checks his watch and all he could do is nervously smile. Yeah, he’s way too early.

Atsumu sighs as he slings the bouquet of roses over his shoulder, another hand carrying a small paper bag which contains his gift, humming as he glances down at it, excited at the thought of you smiling because of it. He could’ve given you the entire world if he could but this small piece of gift is enough for now. He soon takes a taxi, the driver chatting him up a bit, amused that he’s so glammed up, and Atsumu doesn’t really mind the conversation since it takes his mind off the jitters that’s slowly creeping up on him as they get closer to the mall.

“Yer girl must be a really lucky one, eh?”

Atsumu snorts, making the driver look up a bit in the mirror.

“Nah, I’m the lucky one ta get such a pretty girl ta date me.”

The driver smiles. 

Though, we’re not really dating , Atsumu thinks. Honestly, the line is starting to blur and he’s not sure if you’re both still pretending or are you genuinely dating? He means, he likes you, and it seems like you’re quite fond of him too, he’s not just sure if that fondness is the same fondness he feels when it comes to you. Sure, he can ask, but his stomach drops at the prospect of possibly ruining what you two have going on so he guesses he’ll take this ambiguity of your relationship over that.

After paying the fee and getting off the cab, cheerfully thanking the driver, he checks his watch again and darn, he really is early. 30 minutes left. Well, who can fault him for being too eager? This is technically your first official date since all you guys do is take detours on the way home and count them as dates, content with that just as long people can see. He sighs and walks to the landmark you both decided to make as a meeting point and it’s not like he minds standing like an idiot with a bouquet of roses in hand but the suspense of waiting for you isn’t really good for him. Though maybe it’s bonus points since he’s not late or anything? He shivers a little at the idea of being late; you’ll sure be pissed.

A couple of girls approaches him, asking him if his date stood him up (even though he literally just arrived) and suggesting he goes with them instead but Atsumu quickly shuts them down, having no patience for that sort of thing and by the end of it, the girls are slightly in tears, their pride in tatters as they walk away, cursing him under their breath. Atsumu simply clicks his tongue as a nagging voice at the deepest part of his brain (he thinks it’s Osamu’s) tells him he should be nicer to people and he guesses that voice is right but some habits are hard to get rid of.

“That’s not very nice.” A voice he loves so much suddenly spoke up and when he lifts his head from begrudgingly staring down at the ground, he’s greeted with such a sight that his heart nearly stops.

Your hair is clipped with a really cute hair clip that matches the color of your dress and you’re wearing a little bit of makeup, making him think that it’s unfair for him because as if you didn’t already make him into a wreck already without even as much as powder in your face. It’s not that grand, if anything you look like a normal highschool girl out in town, but at that moment Atsumu swears he hears wedding bells ringing in his ear.

He’s so stunned that his next movements and words are awkward, saying something intelligible as he robotically hands over the bouquet to you. You blush a little as you accept it, muttering your thanks.

“Um.. I didn’t quite understand what you just said…”

Atsumu inhales.

“Ithinkyerreallypretty.”

You frown. “Hey, speak slowly.”

“I said!” Atsumu scowls, messing his hair up in the front, trying to physically wipe off the blush tainting his cheeks, “Ya look really pretty!”

It’s your turn to blush this time.

“Oh.”

Silence.

Suddenly, you step closer to him and Atsumu doesn’t know why but he stumbles back a bit, unconsciously avoiding your touch and you frown at that, feeling that you’re being rejected, so you step back too in the case that Atsumu’s uncomfortable with you. Atsumu panics at that, profusely apologizing before grabbing your wrist.

“Ah, no, it’s that- I’m!” He stops suddenly, taking a deep breath before shutting his eyes tight, recentering himself. Fuck! Not even 5 minutes into this date and he’s already making a fool of himself. You stay quiet as you stare at him, a faint blush in your cheek as you revel over how hot Atsumu is and at the same time, amused that he seems so overwhelmed. Something squeezes at your heart. You don’t think you’re that pretty, at least not that pretty to warrant Atsumu absolutely losing his marbles, so you wonder what really has Atsumu acting this way.

“Do you need to poop?” You ask and Atsumu nearly chokes on his own spit.

“What?!”

“Are ya not feelin’ well? Why do ya act like yer constipated?”

Atsumu pouts at you, making you laugh at how childish he looks, especially since his hair is still messed up. You break away from his hold and you hold your hand up, looking him in the eye for permission and when he merely tilts his head in confusion, you take that as a cue that it’s alright to touch him. You gently brush his hair back, fixing it to how it looked like before and once you patted down most of the hair that stuck up, you smile at him sheepishly.

“What I meant ta say earlier before ya freaked out is, thank you, I think ya look handsome too.”

Oh gods.

“T-thanks,” he sputters, trying to avoid eye contact, eyes darting around, trying to find something to focus on so he could at least take a minute to calm his heart. Suddenly, he remembers his gift and he has to take a deep breath before grinning up at you, lifting the small paper bag up so you can see.

“I got ya a present by the way.” The way your eyes widen has him getting nervous and just now, in this moment, it finally registers to him that maybe it is weird for him to get you a gift after all. You aren’t really dating. Heck, even going on this date suddenly feels so weird all of a sudden and now he feels like a creep.

“Ah, I wasn’t really sure if it was appropriate but…” You lift up a paper bag too, much larger than his, and you smile shyly, “I got ya a gift too.”

Atsumu tries his best to not turn into mush, restraining himself to not just kiss you senseless in front of the mall with a bunch of people around even if the idea is appealing at the moment. He smiles, trying not to make it obvious how emotional he’s turning, as he offers to take all of your stuff so he can carry it.

“I’ll carry the roses. I really like it, ‘Tsumu. Thank you.” You smile.

Atsumu feels a whole butterfly sanctuary in his stomach.

“Anything for ya, [Y/n].”

And he means it.

“Should we go ta the cinema?” You ask, oblivious of the mess of feelings you cause that’s fucking Atsumu up right now, and he checks his watch (he’s trembling a bit) to confirm if it’s time for the screening of the movie you both wanted to watch.

“Oh, it’s still early.”

15 minutes left.

“Well, yer here early.” He teases, trying to regain some semblance of sanity in this situation. You merely frown at him and wow, what the hell, he knows he still finds you pretty even when you’re angry but there really is something different today and Atsumu just knows he’s screwed because a year has passed and he’s more whipped than he was before.

“Hey, you were here before me! You're early!”

Atsumu just ignores your quip, pouting like some child and you huff at his attitude. You guys go quiet for a moment before he holds out a hand.

“Wanna walk around for a bit while we wait?” He asks, nervous, even though you held hands for like a hundred times already. When you nod and shyly take his hand, a small shot of electricity runs through his arm and fuck, fuck, fuck , he really is so in love. 

He’s on a date. With you. On your supposed anniversary.

He’s so happy he’s alive.

“Ya need ta really be kinder ta people, y’know.” You start as you both enter the mall, hands intertwined together. 

“I know.” He winces, readying himself for this lecture again. You understand that Atsumu grew up to be an asshole but you figure it won’t hurt to remind him that he can be nice to strangers sometimes too.

To his surprise, you just leave it at that, but he soon wishes he got scolded instead because the next thing you say is-

“By the way, yer constipated, right? Is this really alright?”

“I’m not constipated, quit it!”

You laugh, the sound melodious and pretty, Atsumu doesn’t really mind hearing it all the time. You snicker in your hand as you try to compose yourself and Atsumu realizes that you’re quite in a good mood. He suppresses a smile, happy that he’s at least contributing to that good mood of yours. Well, he is happy too. He squeezes your hand as he tries to make sure that people who look your way can see that he’s dating (but-not-really) such a wonderful person. That even if it’s not really true, you’re his and he’s yours.

(Atsumu hopes that a lot of people from school would be able to see you both. So he can reinforce the idea that he’s your boyfriend again in case they forgot.)

After spending majority of the walk glancing at you, to revel at how pretty you are, he finally breaks and asks-

“Why’d ya dress up so pretty, huh, [Y/n]? Wanna impress me or somethin’?” He teases but he regrets it a second later and Atsumu swears, sometimes he just wanna tape his mouth shut to prevent stupid things coming out of it.

You scowl. “Yer not one ta talk, ya even have yer hair all gelled up!”

Before he can counter your statement back, you huff, a blush lightly dusting your cheeks, defensive as ever. “I just figured ya’d be takin’ pictures left and right just ta show this off so I at least wanted ta look nice since I found out that some girls in nationals adore ya and apparently know me. Gotta save some face or somethin’ like that.”

Atsumu snorts, making you glare.

“Man, don’t mind ‘em! Ya look pretty no matter what anyway. But, I guess, thank ya for takin’ time dressing up for today.”

You get the sudden urge to bite Atsumu, just to let steam off. Gosh, why is he so stupidly earnest sometimes? It’s so inconvenient, making you feel weird and mushy and in love -

“Why’re ya thankin’ me, idiot…?” You mutter under your breath and Atsumu just says a ‘Huh?’ since he didn’t hear. You just scoff.

“Nothing.” You clear your throat, “Thank ya for makin’ an effort too.”

You smile, full of adoration, since you really mean what you’re about to say next.

“I really like how ya look right now.”

Atsumu wonders if he should slick his hair back at all times.

When the time finally comes for the screening, Atsumu insists on paying for the popcorn and drinks and he counters your complaints with the logic of it’s your anniversary and since all of this is his fault anyway, you should let him pay. You’re about to argue more but a line is forming and Atsumu’s being stubborn about this one so you let it go, pouting at him as he grins at you.

The movie is an action one with a bit of drama on the side and there really isn’t that much tension between you both as you munch on the shared popcorn bucket, the only thing that’s remotely romantic that happens is when your fingers brush when taking some popcorn. Atsumu makes it a habit to glance at you now and again, just to check your reactions, and he often finds himself smiling because you’re showing a variety of expressions. The one he likes the most is when you teared up, sniffing, wiping a tear with your handkerchief as you swat at him to look away.

“Aww, did the movie touch my dear [Y/n] that much?” He asks. You glare at him.

“Shut up, ‘Tsumu. Yer eyes are red too, y’know!”

You both gush over the movie after it’s done, heading over to some restaurant as the last date destination. Food was good, and it’s not like it’s the first time you both ate in said restaurant, but the serving is particularly good today and Atsumu suspects it’s because the company is so pleasant that it’s affecting his sense of taste too.

Everything is truly better when you’re around.

After you’re both done eating, winding down as you both idle around the booth you’re in, Atsumu remembers your gifts.

“Should we go open them now?”

You perk up. “I don’t mind.”

“‘Kaaay~” Atsumu reaches for the bags underneath the table and hands you his gift while he props up the paper bag that contained his gift on the table. You look at him expectantly and he looks at you the same. After a moment of silence, you both suddenly clench your fist.

“Rock, paper, scissors! Loser has ta open their gift first!”

“Bring it on, [Y/n]!”

Rock,

Paper,

Scissors!

“Ah dammit ‘Tsumu!” “Sucks ta be ya, scrub! I won!”

You scoff at him before pulling the small paper bag towards you and he merely laughs, soaking over his victory. You stick a tongue out at him, muttering under your breath, hoping that you get to see his reaction first but alas…

Atsumu’s heart thunders in his chest as you pull out the wrapped box out of the paper bag and neatly remove the tape that’s been keeping the wrapping secured. You slide out a box and since it’s already transparent, he watches as you bite your lower lip. He nervously rubs the side of his neck.

“I didn’t really know what ta get you and I guess ya might think it’s lame but I thought I could get ya somethin’ that ya can use in practice or matches or stuff like that.”

Hair ties and a couple of scrunchies.

“Um... do ya like it?”

You suddenly smile, so happy and genuine that it shocks Atsumu and he thinks he just fell in love all over again.

“I love it, ‘Tsumu. Thank ya very much, they’re really pretty! I’d be sure ta use them.” You give a little polite bow and somehow that flusters him too. You open the box and take one scrunchie out, bunching your hair up for a ponytail and putting it on. You look to the side and turn your body a bit so he can see it on you.

“Does it look good?”

Atsumu covers half of his face because he swears, he’s blushing so much. He can’t believe you’re wearing something he got you. He feels like he’s currently dying.

“Yeah, it looks perfect on ya.”

You beam again, almost blinding Atsumu, and motion for him to open your gift too. He clears his throat as he repeats what you did, only that despite his careful maneuverings, he rips the wrapping anyway and he looks at you apologetically as if it matters. (You just look at him with a confused face.) He finally unwraps it, only to find another rectangular box inside and when he opens it, he gives off the same expression you did, biting his lower lip.

You fiddle with your thumbs. “I wanted ta get ya somethin’ you can use too. I guess it’s a lame gift but uh..”

“What do ya mean? I love it.” Atsumu mutters, voice quivering and he ruffles his hair again because dammit , “Ah darn it! Who’s cuttin’ onions in here?!”

It’s a [favorite color] water bottle.

Ah, he wants to cry. 

Atsumu bows so low, his forehead nearly hits the table, startling you a bit.

“I’ll use this forever!”

“T-that’s a bit..”

He suddenly rises up from his seat so he can slide next to you and it makes your heart thump, worrying that Atsumu might hear it with how close he is.

“Can I give ya a hug?” Atsumu mutters, looking down like a shy kid and you can’t believe loud, obnoxious Atsumu is acting this way, You chuckle.

“Sure.” You open your arms.

When Atsumu falls into your embrace, your scent surrounding him like a warm blanket along with your arms, he wonders if it’s really possible to really be this in love at his age.

(You hum as he buries his face in the crook of your neck. He really does feel like home.)

The picture that you both took after that is one Atsumu would treasure forever.

***

It’s already late and it’s time to go home but you two sure are dragging it out, loathing for the day to end because it’s such a good day and you don’t want to part ways. If it was possible to be drunk in love, you both are definitely it, hands intertwined as you both bask in each other’s presence; your cheeks hurt from smiling too much and Atsumu’s throat is dry from laughing too much.

But alas, you’re both on the way home, Atsumu walking you towards your house and he can already feel his dropping mood because he’s not satisfied at all, not at all, and he knows he’s being selfish but he suddenly asks if you wanna come along somewhere because he wants to show you something.

You nod, not that eager to part ways with him either but when you both find yourselves in an isolated and beaten path, you find yourself squeezing his hand tight. He looks back at you, noticing your discomfort. You furrow your eyebrows at him.

“Yer not goin’ ta murder me, are ya?”

Atsumu scoffs. “No. What the fuck?”

“Then, yer not goin’ ta do anythin’ bad, right?” You look at your surroundings, it’s not that well-lit but it’s not that dark either but still.. You can never be too careful.

Once Atsumu senses that you’re genuinely uncomfortable and worried, he stops in his tracks, facing you, squeezing your hand reassuringly.

“F’course, m’not gonna do anythin’ bad ta ya. You can trust me on that.” Atsumu smiles the smile that you like, the soft one, the one he only shows to you, “But if it’s really putting ya off, we can go back.”

You just stare at him for a moment before sighing, stepping towards him until you’re face to face with his chest.

“I trust ya, I guess, so…”

Atsumu’s chest hurts. He’s so happy it hurts.

“Thank you, [Y/n].”

***

“What the hell? This is so pretty.” The strong and cold evening air hits your faces, your hair blowing in different directions because of the wind but you both don’t care about that as you stare at the sight before you, hundreds of lights from houses and the like lighting up the scenery and they look so small from where you both are. The stars aren’t that visible because of the light from below but there still some present, the moon illuminating everything else from where you are. 

It’s so beautiful it takes your breath away.

(Atsumu thinks that about you too as he watches your reaction.)

You shiver, your body cold even though your mind barely registers it, too preoccupied gawking at the sight, but Atsumu notices and he leans closer to you, letting his body warmth soak to you. You look at him quizzically and he just grins, not the arrogant grin that he sports around other people, but the soft one, the one that reminds you that deep inside, Atsumu is really just a softie.

“Yer cold, right?” He breathes out as he shifts his gaze to the lights. You don’t answer him, too mesmerized at how those lights illuminate his face and man, he’s so perfect. No wonder he makes you angry.

“How’d ya find this spot?” You forcefully ask, throat tightening because this feels too intimate to your liking. You want to step away, to gain some semblance of boundary because you feel like you’re starting to toe one now, but you don’t. You remain glued to his side, revelling at the warmth he’s giving you.

“I think it’s when I ran away from a fight with ‘Samu a while back.” He answers, a flicker of nostalgia showing in his face. You look away. Your chest hurts. You’re starting to feel numb.

“That’s why he doesn’t know this spot. I go here when I need a break from him and need time alone, usually after a fight and when I need ta let some steam off.”

“I see.”

You swallow.

“Why bring me here though?”

Atsumu finally looks back at you and you hesitantly look back at him too.

Thump, thump, thump.

You can’t breathe.

He smiles at you.

“I dunno. I just wanted ta.”

You stare at each other for what seems like forever, not daring to move a single muscle, eyes locked with bated breath. You blink and you suddenly find him leaning down towards you, and you want to push him away or move or something but you only stand there, glued to your spot, watching him still as his face gets closer and closer to yours, as if you’re under some spell.

No. My heart can’t take this. Not like this.

Just as when his lips are about to brush yours, you shut your eyes tight and mutter.

“You can’t do this ta me, Atsumu.”

He freezes and after a few seconds, he draws away, even stepping away from you.

(You already miss his warmth.)

“I really can’t huh…” He mutters as he brushes his already messy hair back.

What you say next is what exactly kept you grounded to reality, breaking you away from that spell.

It forces Atsumu to come back down too.

“We’re just friends, after all.”

Chapter Text

We’re friends, after all.

Friends. Friends. Friends.

The word has been echoing in Atsumu’s brain for quite some time now and the more he hears it, the more it sounds like a curse, taunting him, reminding him of how his stomach dropped when he heard you utter those words a few months ago.

You still both act like everything's normal, like nothing's happened, still walking home together, holding hands like a couple, having mini dates in Asahara-san's store but it's undeniable that something's changed. Like both of you are restraining yourselves and for the first time ever in your pretend relationship, it feels like you two are truly just pretending.

He frowns. Sure, you’re friends, but, just friends? Then what the hell was that all about? Are you that affectionate with friends? Do you look at friends that way? So fond, so affectionate, so soft and cruel . Is Atsumu really way over his head?

The day went by so perfectly that he thought he might have a chance. That maybe you feel the same way, that maybe you’re starting to get frustrated with the ambiguity of your relationship, in not knowing what lines are not allowed to be crossed, the confusion in whether you’re both just pretending or if you’ve actually fallen for each other. 

But then you closed your eyes so tight, expression strained, and uttered those five cursed words that have been occupying Atsumu’s brain all day when he was about to kiss you.

We’re just friends, after all.

His grip tightens.

Did he get… rejected?

His stomach sinks, mood dropping further as he stares at the water bottle in his hand. It’s the one you gave to him, keeping true to his promise to always use it though he guesses you won’t really care that much if he didn’t.

“Is somethin’ the matter, Atsumu?”

Atsumu looks up to find Kita looking down at him, face as taciturn as ever, Aran just beside him. 

Atsumu smiles.

“Yeah, I’m fine, no worries,” he says, closing the water bottle and gently putting it down on the floor before he wipes his sweat with a towel and unceremoniously throws it down. Before he can catch Kita’s eyebrows furrow, he’s already up and jogging towards Osamu, berating him for some random thing the other did out of nowhere. Aran eyes the water bottle.

“He's been usin' that for months now, right?”

Kita glances down to it as well before sighing and bending down to pick up and fold the towel Atsumu just abandoned. “Yeah, heard from Osamu that it’s a gift from [Surname] for their anniversary.”

“Really?” Aran asks, a bit surprised. “Why’s he always lookin’ at the thing like it betrayed him then?”

“That’s why I asked if everything’s alright. It was harmless a while back but now it's getting obvious that something's up with him.” 

Aran exhales through his nose as he nervously smiles. Of course, Kita’s already noticed it a while back and is immediately on the case once it seems like it'll jeopardize Atsumu's performance. The guy notices everything.

Aran looks at where the twins are currently terrorizing Suna, his eyes focused on Atsumu as the guy laughs at something Osamu said and on the next breath, argue with him about another stupid thing that Suna brought up. Aran scrunches his nose, analyzing Atsumu’s behavior. He’s acting normally, being the usual loud and obnoxious Atsumu that he’s come to know after all these years, so what seems to be the matter? 

Aran only notices later that Atsumu seems to stare too long at a random spot, thinking deeply, clearly distracted, whenever he’s left alone, that seemingly innocent water bottle in hand. Aran once again wonders if something happened with you though he doubts it since he's seen you two getting along just recently. He glances at Osamu as well, checking to see if something’s amiss with him but he’s acting normally too and it’s not like the twins are actively avoiding each other like they do whenever they get into a big argument so what could be-

Before Aran can get all detective about it (or just complain about it to Kita if he’s had enough), their club advisor enters the gym and asks for their attention, eager to announce something with a big proud grin on their face.

***

Miya, Atsumu got invited to go to the All-Japan Youth Intensive Training Camp.

***

You get a message from Atsumu that he’d be going on ahead and that if you’re anxious about going home alone, he can just send Osamu over. Before you can send a text back that it’s alright, there’s no need , Osamu’s already waiting for you just outside your clubroom, face as blank as ever. You sigh as you drop your phone in your bag and walk towards the twin, an apologetic look in your face.

“M’sorry, I was just about ta reply to Atsumu that there’s no need for this but…”

“S’okay. I wanted ta talk to ya actually.”

Your heart skips a bit, guilt filling your chest as you press your thumb in the middle of your palm, trying to calm your nerves. You smile at him albeit a little strained.

“Is somethin’ the matter, Osamu-kun?”

Osamu cocks his head, motioning that you two should move along, so you start walking, the grey haired twin mindful enough to match your pace as he walks beside you. You rarely ever get the chance to be alone with Osamu; you two are usually always with either Atsumu or Suna, so you try not to show how awkward you feel about the whole ordeal.

Especially since something happened between you and Atsumu. Something that you both seemed to silently agree to ignore for the past few months.

Though maybe you’re just overreacting. You remember that night vividly, how he smiled at you after what you just said, patted your head, and then promptly mentioned that it’s already late and you two should already be heading home. He still held your hand the whole way back, squeezed it once before wishing you good night and letting go. You watched his back until he’s no longer in sight, leaving you standing alone there, a bouquet and gift in hand, staring at the distance, left wondering if you just ruined everything.

(You probably did. But, who can fault you? You-)

“Did ‘Tsumu tell ya that he got invited to the All-Japan Youth Intensive Training Camp?”

You straighten your back. “What?”

“He got invited to the All-Japan Youth Intensive Training Camp.” Osamu repeats for you as he stares off into the distance. You, in turn, stare at him, mind acutely aware that he looks like Atsumu even in side-view, a splitting image of the guy you like. But, he’s different. They’re similar but different.

You swallow before looking back to the path you’re walking in. “How ‘bout you, Osamu-kun?”

“I didn’t get invited.”

“Why not?” You ask, offended on his behalf, despite knowing full well that Osamu can’t answer your question.

Osamu snorts, a fond smile gracing his face, and you have to look away. Your heart aches. 

(Atsumu smiles that way too and you love it very much.)

“Well, I just didn’t and it got ‘Tsumu sulking because I’m not frustrated about it.”

“Why aren’t ya?” You look down at your shoes, “I’d certainly be frustrated ‘bout it. Feels like I’m bein’ left behind.”

“I’m not bein’ left behind though. We’re equal in skill, ‘Tsumu just loves volleyball a tad bit more than I do.” He suddenly stops in his tracks, making you stop too, and you can’t do anything but look up at him. You both just stare at each other for a few seconds before-

“Don’t tell ‘Tsumu this but m’not gonna pursue volleyball after highschool.”

The statement almost knocks you off your feet.

“What?!” You ask, shocked, a hundred thoughts running in your head but the most prominent ones are the memories of Atsumu always bragging about Osamu and how the Miya name will terrorize the whole world beyond your imagination.

“M’not gonna-”

“I heard ya the first time, Osamu!” You yell, surprising Osamu a little because even if he’s heard that tone before, it’s never directed at him. You mutter an apology seconds later but you eventually ask, “It’s just that-- Why’re ya tellin’ this ta me?”

Osamu shrugs. “Yer his girlfriend, right?”

You bite the inside of your cheek and you resist the urge to cry with all your might. You look down at your shoes again, heart thrashing around in your chest.

No, I’m not.

“And ‘Tsumu loves ya a great deal, I can see it every time you two are together. Heck, even if ya aren’t around, I can never get him ta shut up about ya.”

He doesn’t. What is this some kind of sick prank? A punishment?

“He’s dragged me a buncha times with him whenever we get off just in time for yer matches so I’ve seen ya play. You like volleyball just as much as he does, I think. Always hungry for improvement, always looking for other ways to do things, always excited to face off strong opponents. I mean, I get it, I think that way too but… I just feel like there’s somethin’ more for me than just this, ya know?”

You don’t respond to him anymore as you fix your gaze on the ground. You just want to get away because you are not the person he should be telling about all of these. Atsumu doesn’t need you. You’re just a friend (Maybe, a friend is enough for that situation.) but Osamu’s referring to you as his brother’s lover, as his future sister-in-law. He’s entrusting Atsumu to you .

“I know ‘Tsumu won’t take the news well and he’d most certainly feel like I’m leavin’ him behind, so when the time comes please be there for him, [Y/n].” Osamu smiles before patting your head.

Osamu’s entrusting Atsumu to you.

***

“Aaaah, I’m such an idiot,” Aran mutters to himself as he exits the Inarizaki gates again, having gone back to retrieve a couple of notes he accidentally left back in the clubroom. He’s just gotten home too but no matter, he’s here now. He decides to stop by Asahara-san’s for a minute since he’s already on the way anyway, only to find you crouching at the side of the entrance, face buried in your arms.

“[Surname]-chan?” Aran asks, unsure, and instead of being relieved that it is you after you’ve lifted your head, looking at him with a worn out expression, he gets more worried. “Are ya alright? Did somethin’ happen?”

“Oh, it’s Aran-senpai,” you mutter before brushing some stray hair out of your face. “M’alright, it’s nothin’. Thank you for yer concern.”

“Really?” He asks again, just to make sure because you’re most certainly not alright. You just nod.

Silence.

“Aran-senpai.” Aran flinches at the call of his name, watching you as you slowly stand up, dusting yourself and your bag off before looking at him again with a blank expression in your face. He suddenly gets flashbacks on how Atsumu acted earlier, thinking back on how weird it is too, like there’s just something a bit off but it’s not noticeable enough to call Atsumu out for it.

“Are ya in a hurry?”

Aran’s eyes widen. “Not really.”

You nod before fidgeting with your hands. Aran’s getting nervous.

“You’ve known the twins since elementary school right?”

Aran hesitantly nods, “Yeah.”

“What kind of person is Atsumu?”

All right, this is weird.

Why in the world would the girlfriend, out of all people, ask what kind of person Atsumu is?! Like, shouldn’t you know that the most?! But, wait, wait, wait, maybe what you mean is how Aran perceives the twin or maybe you’re asking how Atsumu was during elementary school?

Aran decides to ask, just to be sure.

“You mean what kind of person he was back then?”

“No. Just what kind of person he is in general.”

What is happening?!

Aran is absolutely stumped as he just stares at you in mild confusion but when it seems like you’re serious about this question, he clears his throat and holds his chin, trying to think about what he knows about the twins.

“Well yeah, I’ve known the twins since elementary and they’re both weirdos, I tell ya. They made those stupid sounding nicknames just because they thought my name sounded foreign and they wanted ta imitate me.”

You snort at that, a smile at least forming in the corner of your eyes, and Aran loosens his posture a bit, relieved. He decides to continue-

“Did ya know Osamu was originally the setter?”

Your eyes widen at that.

“I didn’t.”

“Yeah, Osamu was actually more skillful than Atsumu so Atsumu challenged him at every turn, always gritting his teeth in order ta one up his twin. Eventually, since Atsumu never relents, he got picked as a setter and he went off from there.”

“It’s Atsumu, after all.” You scoff and Aran laughs, wholefully agreeing. It is Atsumu, after all.

“Those twins are so competitive, I swear! They hate losing but I’ve always had the hunch that Atsumu had something more than just hating ta lose.”

You flinch, suddenly remembering Osamu. Aran’s too busy reminiscing to notice the shift in your mood.

“I think ya know this more than anyone else but Atsumu doesn’t really have the best relationship with those around him since he does have the tendency to be mean when things don’t go his way.”

“You tell me.” You scoff again and Aran sweat drops a little, remembering that the two of you are infamous for your bickering even before people knew there was something going on with you two. Honestly, the dating news shocked Aran the first time too but as more time passed, he felt like it made sense, seeing you both act like an old married couple, bickering while holding hands. It’s sometimes ridiculous to watch how taken you are with each other.

“It’s scary, y’know. Because it felt like Atsumu didn’t really care even when he’s disliked by everyone.”

Thump thump thump.

“Because I think, in his mind, no matter what, Osamu will be there for him so he doesn’t need anyone else.”

Thumpthumpthumpthumpthump-

“I think Atsumu’s biggest blessing is Osamu, to be honest.”

Aran laughs fondly, “Man, brotherly bonds are somethin’ else, right, [Y/n]?” 

When Aran looks back at you, your face is a mess, cheeks red in an effort to try to reel back your tears even when they’re freely falling from your eyes, leaving a hot streak on your cheeks as you hastily wipe them off. 

“[Y/n]?! What’s the matter?! Was it somethin’ I said?! I’m sorry!”

“N-no… It’s,” sniff , “...alright.” 

Aran full on panics, no doubt saying something to reassure you and to get you to stop crying but you barely register anything he says, your brain tuning him out as you focus on the fact that Atsumu’s biggest blessing, Osamu , trusts you to take care of his brother.

You feel like a fraud. A fool. A joke.

Especially when you were just recently thinking of breaking it off with Atsumu.

You couldn’t handle it anymore, having him pretend to love you, all your anxieties after that night accumulating as months pass by with the two of you not talking about the rising tension surrounding you. Maybe he thinks playing this game is fun, watching you stumble and fall over his actions and words, playing you for the fool you are. Or maybe he feels like he does love you, thinking that you’re the one for him, but for some reason, you just can’t take it. Can’t accept it. What if he just got swept up in the mood of that day? What if he just got swept up in the nature of your relationship in general and thought he’s in love with you when he’s actually not? What if you got swept up with these new developments (the hand holding, the soft gazes and smiles, his warmth, the stupid things he does that make you laugh, the way he grinned at you from the court when he found you watching in the audience, the feel of his soft lips on your temple when you last cried in front of him) and thought that maybe you’re in love when you’re actually not?

(You are in love. You’re so in love. You’re so in love it hurts .)

You sob, wailing like a baby, heart hurting and you can’t breathe, your lungs feel so small and you feel like you’re drowning, even when Aran rubs soothing circles in your back as you hug your bag close to your chest.

It scared you so much. It scares you so much.

The possibility that once Atsumu kissed you, once he feels your lips on his, that he’ll realize that this isn’t what he wanted after all, that the spell will be broken or that he’ll laugh at your face and tell you that you’re so stupid for thinking he holds for you the same affection you hold for him.

Aran leaves you in Asahara-san’s hand when you calmed down, the old woman having a gentle talk with you over a cup of warm tea (although the reason you give is vague and you think you mutter it’s about volleyball or something, you don’t know, your mind is foggy with all the crying) and just as when you’re about to down your second cup, Atsumu appears in the entrance, looking like he just ran a marathon. You suspect that Aran called him to let him know what transpired earlier. You avoid his gaze as he takes it all in, your eyes red and puffy from crying, Asahara-san gently rubbing your arm in an effort to calm you down.

You bid your goodbyes a little later when you’ve gathered yourself enough to appear presentable to your parents, Atsumu keeping you company the whole time while Asahara-san smiles at you both, doting like a real grandmother.

“Take care on yer way home, you two.”

“Thank you, Asahara-san. M’sorry for the ruckus.” You bow towards her and she just chuckles, waving her hand to dismiss your concern. Atsumu smiles at her and bows politely as well.

“Thanks, granny! I’ll go bring some onigiris ‘Samu made tomorrow as thanks! They’re really good, y’know.”

Asahara-san’s chuckle turns louder, hiding her grin behind her hands as she regards Atsumu. “Oh my, then I’ll be lookin’ forward ta it.”

After you two wave one last time, just as Atsumu’s about to offer his hand for you to hold, he notices you’re hugging your bag so he drops it, just sliding up in his usual spot.

Besides you.

“Osamu-kun told me you were invited to the All-Japan Youth Intensive Training Camp.”

Atsumu frustratedly sighs, “Man! He beat me ta it!”

“You could’ve messaged me ‘bout it.”

“I wanted ta tell ya personally.”

You bite the inside of your cheek. You know Osamu told you that he’s sulking but he could’ve…

You shake your head, internally scolding yourself for having such selfish thoughts, demanding things from him when you don’t have the right. When you turned him down that night, too afraid to face your own fears, when he takes action on his own selfishness.

“M’sorry ya had to come pick me up in the end. I should’ve told Aran-senpai ta not say anythin’.”

That offends Atsumu, eyebrows furrowing as he stops walking, making you look back at him, and normally, you’d just frown at him back but this time you couldn't. You’re scared, hands trembling as you squeeze your bag tighter to your body, holding onto it to give you strength to face your biggest weakness: Atsumu.

“Not say anythin’?” You flinch, his tone harsh, “Why not? I am your boyfriend, am I not?”

Before you can swallow the words down, it comes out.

“You’re not, Atsumu.”

He winces, feeling like he just got punched in the gut. Still, he persists, taking a quick breath, “Then as friends. Don’t friends help each other in times like this?”

You look away, not knowing what to respond, and you want to run away, want the ground to swallow you whole, anything to get you out of his sight. You feel like the tension you both tried to suppress, the emotions you both kept locked away these past few months are now bursting at the seams, violently trying to kick down the door you two had so desperately tried to keep shut. You’re trembling and you feel like your legs are about to give out because this is the first time Atsumu looked at you with real anger in his eyes and you’re scared, you’re scared, you’re scared-

Atsumu sighs, ruffling his hair, seemingly trying to calm himself. You don’t really know how to go on from here but then Atsumu says something that he’ll come to regret, says something that shatters your heart and confirms your fears-

“Should we break up?”

Atsumu freezes the moment it came out his mouth, his eyes widening, mouth opening to take it back because that was by far the stupidest thing he’s ever said and he’s said a lot of dumb shit but-

“Okay,” you say, tone definite and before Atsumu can reach for you and apologize, to tell you that he doesn’t mean it, that he takes it back, that he wasn't thinking before he spoke, that he loves you more than anything, your back is already turned to him and you’re already running away.

(Atsumu wanted so bad to bash his head in a wall because he doesn't go after you, fear keeping him glued to where he stands.)

That night was the most miserable night you both experienced, falling asleep with your tears as company as you ignore your buzzing phone while Atsumu desperately tries to reach you, falling asleep hearing your ringtone because you refused to pick up.

Chapter Text

You actually feel a bit bad ignoring his phone calls and messages but despite that, you simply mark all of those messages as read even though you haven’t as much taken a peek, not having the courage to go through them and read out whatever excuses he’s managed to conjure up.

You think about it hazily throughout your morning, going over your routine absentmindedly as your mind wanders off to what just happened between you two last night. It’s not like you guys are really dating so why are you two acting like you’re breaking up for real? Why is the pain you feel for real? You bite the inside of your cheek.

Does this hurt him too? 

But then, judging from last night, it seems like Atsumu has finally lost his patience with you so maybe not. You feel like he’s more guilty than hurt since you basically ran away after you agreed to his suggestion to finally stop the lover facade that you both put up to stop unwanted pursuers from bothering you both. If there was one thing you’ve learned about Atsumu after a year of ‘ dating’ him is that he might be an asshole but he, surprisingly, is actually pretty considerate and thoughtful.

You feel stupid for having reacted that way but your body was already moving on its own accord before you can stop it, every fiber of your being refusing to show him how much it hurt you.

You stagger your way into the classroom, ignoring Aoi’s concerned question and Osamu and Suna’s concerned and confused looks, absent-mindedly muttering that you’re okay, that you just watched a devastating movie last night that’s why your eyes are puffy. But then, Osamu says something that makes you feel like you’ve just been doused in cold water.

“‘Tsumu looked like he'd been cryin’ too when he got home after he went out ta pick ya up. Did somethin’ happen?”

You swallow before facing the second twin that you betrayed, chest hurting because he looks like the guy that’s causing your current pain, forcing yourself to smile to reassure him that nothing happened, that it’s fine. Osamu narrows his eyes at you and you feel like he knows, he should know, but he merely shrugs and changes the topic. You look away from him and stare at your desk.

“‘Tsumu will be leavin’ tomorrow for the camp. M’sure he’s already asked ya but are ya coming along in sendin’ him off?”

You clench your hands, because no he hasn’t asked me and he’ll never will , before shaking your head, not even daring to look back up at him again in fear that you might burst into tears. “No, m’sorry. I have somethin’ ta do that day so…”

“What a terrible liar.” Suna mutters under his breath as he walks away, looking at something in his phone. The way he said it makes you flinch, makes you want to go back home because you’re not feeling all that well after all. You think that you’re about to pass out. You feel Osamu’s gaze boring holes in your skull but before you can have a full blown nervous breakdown, he pats your head gently, muttering that it’s okay and then walking away from your desk.

You stand up and hurry to the classroom door, Aoi asking you where you’re going and telling you that class is about to start. You tell her you’re not feeling well before hurriedly heading to the infirmary, praying to whoever’s listening that you don’t run into Atsumu on the way there.

***

You spend the entire morning sleeping in the infirmary and internally cursing yourself for being this sad over a stupid boy, to the point where you genuinely don’t have the energy to move. Aoi luckily comes by during lunch time to force you to eat with her and you at least gain enough energy back (despite being hyper-alert the entire time you’re in the cafeteria, watching out for a certain bleached haired boy) to get you through the afternoon. You contemplate whether you should go home or actually attend your classes but then you remember that you have volleyball practice later and that you can’t afford to slack off because nationals is just around the corner. That snaps you back to reality a little, forcing yourself to be mentally and physically present in the classroom, because you’re pretty sure that if you stayed back in the infirmary the nurse will send you home anyway.

You breathe out a sigh of relief once you step inside the gym, hearing the squeak of shoes, the ball hitting and bouncing on the court and the determined shouts of your teammates makes you feel a whole lot better. You roll an arm back while taking deep breaths. 

Forget him, this is the only one thing you should set your heart on.

Practice went by without a hitch, your mind finally off Atsumu, but that was short lived because just as you’re about to leave the clubroom, he’s already outside waiting for you.

You quickly shut the club room's door close, startling some of your teammates and when your (new) captain asks what’s the matter, you nervously tell her that you forgot something in your locker. That’s the end of that as you walk back towards said locker, heart leaping to your throat, and you realize, as you’re pretending to sort out things inside of it, that you truly are a terrible liar.

You watch as every single one of your teammates file out of the club room until you and the captain are the only ones left. She eyes you curiously when you ask for the key, offering to lock up but she gives it to you nonetheless, telling you to don’t stay back too late. You thought you’d have gotten away with it, intending to wait like an hour in the lockers to make Atsumu give up but the moment your captain is out of the room, she cheerily greets Atsumu and tells him that you’ll be out any moment now.

You want to so badly bang your head in one of the lockers but you try to hold yourself together, clutching the keys in your hand and hoping that if you tighten your hold on it enough, your palm will eventually bleed out and wake you from this nightmare. But, it never happens and after 20 or so minutes, three knocks on the door startles you back to reality.

“You hafta get out of there sometime, [Y/n].” You hear his muffled voice and instead of breaking down like you thought you would at the sound of his voice, what you feel is anger, the stubborn part of you refusing to yield down to his challenge even though deep inside you know you’re being childish. 

So you stay there for another 20 minutes, scrolling through your phone to pass the time, trying to ignore how loud your heart is beating. You don’t hear anything outside during those 20 minutes but you wait another 10 more just to make sure while you once again gather up your things, slinging your bag over your shoulder and picking up the keys that lay just beside you on the bench.

After convincing yourself that he’s probably gone now, considering how impatient Atsumu is, you take a deep breath before clicking the door open and taking a peek.

Just to shut it back close again with such force, even you startled yourself.

“Oh, [Y/n], come on!” Atsumu’s loud but muffled voice comes again and you feel like you’re gonna have a heart attack. You genuinely felt like your heart skipped a beat or two once you briefly saw his jacket. You lean your forehead on the door, trying to gather yourself but before you can even start taking deep breaths, he’s knocking on the door again.

“Shut up, Atsumu! Can’t ya give me a moment here?!” You snap, unable to help yourself.

“ You shut up and get out of there! It’s already late, come on!” He shouts as if the thing between you last night didn’t happen at all. You bite your lip, blood rushing to your ears, and you feel like you’re gasping for air when the next words tumble out of your mouth.

“Why’re ya even here?! Didn’t we break up?!”

Immediate silence.

Your hold on the door knob tightens but you feel numb so the sensation gets weird and you feel like your grip didn’t get that tight at all. Still, you try, as if Atsumu would just twist it open and overpower you, and then you’ll have to face whatever it is you’re scared of.

You flinch once he abruptly speaks again. “Can’t I just walk ya home as a friend? We’ve been doin’ that before the whole ordeal, haven’t we?”

Gosh, please go away.

“Or were ya just pretendin’ too when ya said we’re friends?”

“No!” You say in a panic but you immediately shut your mouth back again as if you regret speaking up at all. But you had to make sure that Atsumu knows you care for him because he at least deserves that much. 

( No, you tell yourself.) 

( He deserves so much more. )

“We’re friends, Atsumu.” You clear up, voice slightly weak, but you have to make sure that he knows you weren’t pretending about everything you’ve said and done for him. He has to know that you weren’t pretending when you told Osamu and Suna that you think that he’s the coolest, you weren’t pretending when you told him his childhood photo was cute, you weren’t pretending when you visited him during the time that he was sick and made him porridge, you weren’t pretending when you told him his hand is warm, you weren’t pretending-

You shut your eyes tight.

You weren’t pretending at all.

“Then come out of there and let’s go home,” he says softly as if coaxing a child. Your chest tightens. Home. He’s your home. You see him and it’s all warm and fuzzy and comfortable. He makes you happy, he really does, but the thought that you aren’t the same for him just hurts you so much, too much that you can’t even bear to look at his face.

You take a deep breath and reprimand yourself. You’re such a scrub. So scared of being rejected, so scared of being hurt, but aren’t you already hurting?

You open the door slowly, eyes trained to the ground as you slowly step out, seeing Atsumu’s shoes move out of the way when you shut the door and lock it close. You stuff the keys on your bag before gripping the straps, still looking everywhere but Atsumu. 

“Let’s go home then.” You mutter. In your peripheral, you see Atsumu hold out his hand and you wince, ignoring it altogether because, no , you can’t accept his warmth now. Now that you’ve purposefully ruined everything.

You hear Atsumu sigh before withdrawing his hand.

“Alright.” He goes on ahead and you risk a glance to the back of his head, his shoulder wide and still full of pride. You bite the inside of your cheek as you meekly follow along, just walking behind him, too afraid to take your previous spot because that isn’t yours anymore. He should be walking side by side with someone he truly likes. Not someone he's just pretending to like.

Suddenly he stops and you nearly bump into his broad back, surprising you. You step back and you almost ask what’s wrong but you quickly shut your mouth when he turns to face you. You look away.

“Why won’t ya walk beside me?” He asks, a bit of accusation in his tone. You furrow your brows but say nothing. 

“Do ya hate this that much?”

You flinch because you don’t know. You could never hate walking home with him but right now, you can’t say that you particularly like it either.

Instead, what you answer is, “I just don’t think we should do this anymore.”

The silence stretches on and you don’t know what sort of face Atsumu is making because you’re still looking away, too scared to stare at your fear in the face, scared to see Atsumu’s contempt or disappointment directed to you. 

Finally, you hear him sigh.

“Alright. This will be the last time I walk ya home then.”

There’s a dull pain that spreads on your chest but you can’t complain because you brought this upon yourself. You nod and to your surprise, he walks towards you and then gently takes your hand on his before gripping it tight, tight enough to actually hurt a bit. Your heart is immediately thrown in a frenzy, face heating up, the pain in your chest becoming more prominent as your heartbeat picks up-

“Atsumu-”

“What? Just play along, it’s the last time anyway.”

You swallow and you wish you could bury your whole face in your jacket. You’re pretty sure your hands are super cold right now, you can feel it, but the warmth of his combats it, leaving you kind of weak. You just let him hold your hand as you both slowly trudge on the path way home, the sound of your footsteps and puffs of smoke from your breathing filling the air and somehow you’re stuck in an emotional limbo between crying and laughing because this situation is ridiculous and it hurts, it hurts, you have to let him go and it hurts, you love him so much that it hurts.

The footsteps halt when you’re both at the intersection where you have to part, your house just a few steps away, and you regretfully untangle your hand from his, clutching it with your other hand as you try to savor the warmth he left.

“This is it, huh?” He asks and you shut your eyes.

“Thank you,” you mutter, trying not to let your voice tremble because as soon as he leaves, you know the reality of it all will come crashing over you and you’re gonna be left with nothing but your tears and regrets. You briefly wonder if you should just accept this ‘love’ of his, to just roll along with it just as you did when this all started, and to just deal with the heartbreak later when he grows bored of you but you’re a prideful person and despite being utterly in love with him, you’d rather die than have your dignity be trampled on by Atsumu.

“Thank ya too.” You see him scratch the back of his head in your peripheral, obviously fidgeting.

Silence.

“Well, guess that’s it. See ya around.” You see his shoes turn away and you let him leave, counting his steps, your heartbeat loud and noisy in your ears.

After the 10th step, you call after him. He cranes his neck to look at you and for the first time today, you conjure up the strength to look directly at his face.

(The moment your eyes meet, your breath hitches and you briefly wonder how you’ll be able to get over him in this lifetime.)

You barely manage to get the words out, your tongue feeling heavy in your mouth, “Take care on yer commute tomorrow and congratulations for bein’ invited, ‘Tsumu.”

This time, it’s Atsumu’s turn to look away, and you’re not sure but you think he’s trembling.

“Yeah,” he says, voice a bit wobbly, “...Thanks.”

And then he walks away.

The moment he’s out of your sight, your legs give out, leaving you to sit on the road and you curl in yourself, wanting so badly to cry but you can’t get anything out of your eyes. You just bury your face in your arms and you don’t know how long you’ve been in there or if anyone else sees you be so lame but you only look up when you feel something cold drop in your hair.

You exhale.

It’s snowing.

***

Atsumu’s kind of pissed but then he can’t bring himself to be fully angry at you nor can he push himself to you because somehow he knows your poor little heart is just confused.

Doesn’t make you less of a coward and idiot though.

He mentally reprimands himself for calling you names but a smaller part of him also says you deserve it anyway because you’re so obviously scared of your feelings that it affects even your logic. Scared of what you feel for him so you just decided that it’s better if you just cut ties with him altogether and ignore what he has to say for the matter. It also throws Atsumu in a confusing situation because, obviously, he’s upset because he just got rejected but at the same time, he’s happy because you being so defensive means that you feel at least a little something for him, right?

(And the look you gave him when you told him to take care and congratulations. It makes his heart ache because that look radiated nothing but love.)

So what’s stopping you both from living happily ever after?

You.

He grits his teeth the whole commute to the camp, annoyed, but despite all that, Atsumu has the sense to disconnect himself from his life troubles whenever he’s inside the court and handling a ball. The fact that he’s currently heartbroken doesn’t matter at all.

(Though he does push out his aggression a bit by taunting and antagonizing the other players; denying it like the little sly fox that he is when someone calls him out for it.)

You, on the other hand, use volleyball as a distraction from whatever is happening with your life, purposefully forgetting everything else, your mind just hyper focused on everything that’s happening inside the court. Nothing else matters. If anything, you’re performing better than usual, trying to compensate in this aspect of your life because you just ruined another.

The next time you see Atsumu properly is in the Spring Interhigh, your teams filing out the buses, Kita and your captain calmly conversing about how they’ll handle the tv interviews. You pull your mask up your face even if it’s already snugly in place just because you feel three gazes on you from the boy’s team, the most intense stare coming, obviously, from Atsumu.

“Woah, they’re really starin’,” Aoi mutters from beside you as she stares back hard at the three for your sake. You swat her away, telling her to don’t mind them.

Just as the dating rumor blew up in a span of a day, the news that you two broke up quickly spread like wildfire too, a lot of girls delighted that Atsumu is once again available to the market, much to your chagrin. Your teammates thought you were joking at first when you informed them but when they saw you walk home by yourself for a week, that’s when they believed you and then demanded an explanation as if they also had a say in your relationship status. You made up some bullshit explanation that you both wanted to focus on school and club activities and they believed it since it’s plausible in every way and form. You and Atsumu are big volleyball nerds, after all. You also said that the breakup was a mutual decision.

Suna and Osamu know a different version though.

They walked over your desk the next day during lunch, bringing you snacks and some onigiri that Osamu apparently made, and then ranted about how stupid Atsumu is, that he ain’t worth shit and that you’re better off without him anyway. Osamu even apologized to you.

“Where is this comin’ from?” You nervously asked them. They looked at you like you’re ridiculous.

“Didn’t ‘Tsumu break up with ya?”

Oh.

“Yeah and he was all asshole-y about it.” Suna added.

Oh.

So now people know two different stories but, ultimately, it seems that Atsumu is painted as the bad guy while you’re painted as the kind, understanding ex who watered down the version of the breakup to cover up for Atsumu hurting you.

Which doesn’t sit right with you at all since you’re the one who messed everything up.

You shake your head as you drag Aoi along with you towards where the souvenirs are, doing anything just to get yourself out of his sight. Thankfully, Aoi seems to get your intention, animatedly chatting you up and even suggesting some lame shirt designs that you both should get together.

And just like that your most beloved arena is in front of your eyes again, the smell of salonpas filling your nose. You take a deep breath before smiling, stretching your fingers and waving the nervousness off.

You shrug off your jacket.

Let’s play some volleyball.

***

You catch the latter part of Atsumu’s game, wearing a mask in a vain attempt to disguise yourself even when your jacket and jersey already gives you away. You told your team you’ll just be in the bathroom a bit since you have a stomachache, covering up because you’re embarrassed that you’re off to check out the game of the alleged ‘ex who broke your heart’.

But you really want to see him play. Before he became Atsumu to your eyes, he was a star first.

Your breath catches on your throat when you see him and Osamu pull off a super quick attack they seemingly copied off the other team, hand clenching as you stare at them in adoration. Atsumu shines more after he did such a difficult and thoughtful set up that even the coach of the other team clapped at. Heck, you want to clap too.

You let out a small smile as he smiles that childish smile of his, so carefree and young. 

( How could I ever beat you, ya idiot? )

“The bathroom, huh?” 

You almost shrieked at Aoi’s sudden figure popping up beside you and you can do nothing but sheepishly bow at her, apologizing. She merely waves you off, laughing at your reaction, before she turns her attention to the current game unfolding before you.

“I figured ya’d be here.”

“M’sorry,” you bow again, “is the game ‘bout ta start?”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s go then!” You hurriedly push her along to your side of the gym, flustered that she found you out while she just giggles again before saying in a singsong tone-

“Ya really love him, huh?”

You chest tightens and for some reason, instead of ignoring that question like you usually do whenever you’re teased about him, you answer her truthfully-

“Yeah, I do.”

***

Atsumu’s team loses while your team advances to the next round.

You stumble upon him sitting on the bench where you had your previous breakdown last interhigh and this time, he’s the one leaning back, an annoyed expression on his face. He doesn’t seem to notice you at first but after staring at him for a couple of minutes, he finally turns his head in your direction, eyes widening once he realizes who he’s currently staring at.

Atsumu frowns. “Are ya here ta shit on me?”

You furrow your brows, unamused at what he’s insinuating. 

( Ah , Atsumu thinks. He misses your stupid face so much.)

“No,” you carefully say.

“Then what?” Atsumu knows he’s being a little bitch but his team just lost and you’re there to seemingly laugh at his face for this defeat and for failing to attain your heart. He guesses he can be mean even for a bit.

You ignore his demeanor altogether, hands playing at the ends of your jacket.

“I know it’s strange coming from me but…”

Atsumu feels like a heavy weight in his chest has been simultaneously lifted and crushed him at the same time.

“Ya guys fought well and I really think yer the coolest. I could only hope ta be half as good a setter as you.”

You bow before turning your back on him and walking away. Atsumu watches your retreating figure which eventually gets swallowed by a bunch of different people from different teams, letting you out of Atsumu’s sight. He sighs before burying his face into his hands.

“Ya think too much of me, [Y/n].”

(But then, he thinks the same to you too.)

***

This time, it’s your team who gets to the finals but eventually loses to the other team, the match unexpectedly close, and by the end of it you think you caught a fever. Your stamina isn’t that great either so your whole body hurts, your legs red from the strain and you feel like your hands are melting off even if you taped them up. 

Despite the loss, you garner attention and you’re subjected to a couple of reporters asking you about stuff related to the game before segwaying to your personal life. You’re not used to such attention so you flusteredly get through every interview and you hope with all your life that you didn't say something super-mega-embarrassing through all that fumbling. 

Before you can run away to find a hiding spot because you feel another reporter staring holes through you, Atsumu blocks your way, startling you. You look up at him, obviously a little bit frazzled. It seems that the boy’s team stayed back too to watch other teams play and to add support for the girl’s team’s game.

Atsumu looks down at you with a frown and you’re about to excuse yourself because you’d honestly pick being interrogated by the reporter than be confronted by Atsumu, but you’re stopped in your tracks when he says-

“You were really cool back there, y’know.”

You look at his face again, slack-jawed. He suddenly smiles, making you catch your breath and think that maybe this is a hallucination, one your brain conjured up in a feverish and exhausted frenzy.

“Yer honestly great and I know it’s because ya always work so hard. But it pisses me off that ya sell yerself short, idiot. Give yerself more credit.”

He sticks his tongue out at you.

“No matter how great you get though, I won’t lose. So don’t ya dare give up, wouldn’t losing ta me piss you off?”

You stare at him dumbfounded, not really processing what’s happening yet but when you finally do, your face crumples and he has to pull you to his chest so others won’t see you cry.

(Atsumu sees you worthy as a rival. Somehow, that’s an honor to you because even if you won’t admit it outloud to just anyone, he’s really someone you admire when it comes to being a setter.)

“Yer such an idiot,” you sob as you bury your face in his chest, wetting his shirt with your tears once again and you think that you cry way too much during interhigh. And it’s all because of him provoking you. You feel him rubbing soothing circles in your back, trying to calm you down and you stay a bit in his embrace, also trying to quickly reel in your sobs before your teammates catch on and ask what the hell is going on with you two again.

After a minute or two, you smack his chest away but he doesn’t budge, seemingly too lost in comforting you that he’s started to daydream. You scoff before pinching his sides, making him yelp and jump away from you.

“The hell?!” He asks, sounding betrayed for all the world. You just frown at him and roll your eyes.

“Ew. Forget what happened. Get away from me.” You stick your tongue out at him but it’s apparent that you’re embarrassed, judging from how red the tip of your ears are, and for some reason, that makes Atsumu’s heart skip a beat.

You turn your back on him when you hear Aoi call you for the awarding ceremony. You yell back that you’re coming before stealing a glance in his direction again, eyes red and puffy. He wishes he can wipe all the evidence away that you just cried but before he can indulge in the idea, you fully face him again before pointing at his face.

“It sure would piss me off if I lose ta ya, scrub!” You flip him off before running off to where Aoi is. As if that isn’t enough to make his heart thrash in his chest for how cute it is, he even briefly catches sight of your hair tie and he has to cover half of his face because he can feel heat tickling in and a smile attempting to break his face in half.

He recognizes that it’s one of those he gave.

(Maybe he can still jump over the distance you forcibly wrought in between you two after all.)

Chapter Text

“Is ‘Tsumu there with ya?”

“Um,” you start, a little uneasy, “We’ve broken up, remember?” You answer Osamu over the phone, confused as to why he’s calling you for this. You smile politely at Asahara-san (she smiles back, albeit looking at you worriedly because this is the first time she’s heard from your own mouth that you and Atsumu aren’t an item anymore even if she’s already had a hunch) and excuse yourself, quietly stepping outside to have this private phone conversation. Osamu sighs, making it apparent that he finds whatever’s currently happening troublesome. You hear a bit of shuffling before he asks another question.

“Then do ya have any idea where he could be?”

“What’s happening?” You ask, a little concerned. You heard there was a bit of commotion in the boy’s gym earlier, the Miya twins bickering again, but you didn’t think much of it since it was a pretty normal occurrence anyway. Was the bickering serious this time?

“I finally told him I won’t be pursuing volleyball after highschool.”

Oh.

“He didn’t take it that well, huh? Since yer lookin’ for him and all…” You mutter, tucking the hand that isn’t holding your phone under your arm because you feel cold. You look from side to side, trying to remember the directions for that place, the place where everything started to fall apart.

Osamu sighs again, “I don’t know. It ended with us having a bet on who’d live a happier life and shit. Thought we’re cool but he suddenly disappeared. He’s not home either.” 

“Well, it is pretty heavy news. Just give him time, he’d come back eventually.” You reassure Osamu because despite sounding as monotonous as usual, there is the slightest implication of worry in his tone and the fact that he’s actually looking for his twin is an indicator that it’s bothering him too. If it was any normal day, you’d hear Atsumu complain to you about how Osamu’s a failure of a brother just because he got ignored for like an hour. 

(Though it’s not your place to hear those rants anymore.)

Osamu hums. “Guess so. Smack him for me if ya ever see him.”

You snort because as if that’ll happen. If Osamu’s assuming that Atsumu would seek comfort from you then he’s dead wrong.

(Even if Atsumu wants to so badly.)

“Yeah, I will. Rest easy, Osamu-kun.”

“Thanks, [Y/n]. You too.”

After he hangs up, you go back to the store and order two more meat buns and a bottled drink, paying up and taking the paper bag from the old woman with an uneasy smile because you know in your head that what you’re about to do is stupid and counterproductive. In your part anyways.

But, you promised, you guess. Even as a ‘friend’, you’d have to at least do this for the twins.

Before you go, Asahara-san softly calls out your name and tells you-

“Be careful and don’t stay out too late, you two.”

Your chest aches and you try to stop your lips from trembling because of how tender her expression is; an image of a loving grandmother who watches over two dumb teenagers who can’t properly define their whole relationship, hoping nothing but the best for them as they stumble over the mess that is their feelings. You give her a shy smile and thank her, bowing politely before leaving the shop, closing the door shut behind you. You take a deep breath, watching the puff of smoke leave your mouth before you decide to book it to where Atsumu’s special place is supposed to be.

You hope with all your might that he’s there, head held up high as he watches the scenery before him, and that when he notices that you’re there, he won’t drive you away.

***

“The fuck yer doin’ here?” Atsumu says with a scowl as he crosses his arms again and plops back to the towel he laid on the ground in a futile effort to save his back from the cold. He rose a little earlier to check who’s around when he heard footsteps, a bit spooked, but his face immediately scrunched up once he saw it’s you.

Well, so much for that hope.

For some reason, you don’t feel awkward at all even though you normally go out of your way to avoid him, occasionally using Suna or Aoi as a human shield just so you wouldn’t have to bother worrying about Atsumu’s intense stares whenever he knows you’re around. (Thankfully, the two don't mind, though Suna makes it difficult for you sometimes just so he can have a little amusement out of it.) You crouch over him and smack his shoulder in an effort to get him to rise again, acting as if this interaction is the most natural thing in the world for you two. As if there aren’t any issues that you both refuse to face. He just glares at you and you couldn’t resist the urge to roll your eyes, pinching him in the side in hopes of having him actually follow your demand. He yelps and rolls away from you, using his arms to prop himself up as he scowls.

“What the fuck is yer problem?!”

“Yer gonna catch a cold! And I brought ya somethin’ so sit up and scoot over.” You scowl back as you force yourself into his space, sitting on the towel as you grab the meat buns from the paper bag. You hear him scoff but he eventually obliges, rising up before unceremoniously plopping on his ass again besides you, your arms brushing as he leans over to take one of the meat buns from your hand.

(You ignore the tiny spark of electricity that shoots through your fingers when it lightly grazes his.)

(He ignores it too.)

You try to take your attention away from how close he is and pretend the familiarity of his warmth isn’t affecting you as much as you rummage through the paper bag once more to get him his drink. He raises an eyebrow at you quizzically when you hand it over but he accepts it regardless, begrudgingly muttering a thank-you and pushing his confusion over the whole situation on the back of his head.

You take out your share as well and after a minute of silence and munching on your food, Atsumu eventually nudges you as you both stare at the night sky riddled with stars.

“What’re ya doin’ in here?”

You bite the inside of your cheek. “I’ll tell ya if ya tell me what yer doin’ here first.”

Atsumu scratches the back of his head and pouts. “I’m stargazin’, duh.”

Sure, you are , you scoff. Atsumu just ignores the underlying sass, “Well? Yer turn.” 

“Osamu-kun was lookin’ for ya,” you say carefully, glancing his way so you can see his reaction. Atsumu immediately turns his head away from you so you won’t see him sulking, but it’s pretty apparent with how defensive his posture gets, his back straightening, shoulders rising as if to brace himself from whatever’s gonna come next. It isn’t that hard to tell that he’s pouting like a child either.

And, of course, he attempts to avoid the inevitable confrontation altogether by muttering some bullshit that’s guaranteed to piss you off. It’s basically his talent at this point.

(Some things never change.)

“Psh. Ya cut all connections with me yet yer all chummy with my twin brother? Isn’t there a code for that? Like, ya can’t date yer ex’s sibling or somethin’.”

You couldn’t resist the urge to elbow him on the sides, making him almost drop his meat bun as he curls up in pain, whining your name in that irritating tone of his. You would’ve hit him too for good measure but you stop yourself and decide that it’s enough violence for tonight since Atsumu’s basically going through a (lowkey) existential crisis right now. 

You sigh.

“M’not datin’ yer brother. He’s just worried ‘bout ya so he called me.”

Atsumu’s eyebrows furrow, clearly irritated but he pouts so he can feign innocence. “Why’s he worried? Nothing’s wrong and besides, why call you ?”

You swallow, playing with the hem of your skirt.

“Well, Osamu-kun’s told me ‘bout his decision months ago and predicted that ya’d react badly ta it, so...” You admit, unable to look at him in the eyes. You return your gaze on the night sky when you feel him stiffen, his stare boring holes through your skull. After a few moments of awkward silence, you feel a heavy weight on your side, him leaning over you and when you’re forced to meet his eyes, his face is inches away from yours, his expression frustrated. Your mind couldn’t even finish processing what’s happening as your heart’s already thrashing in your chest, eyes widening and jaw slacking as he accuses you of something you could and would never do in your life.

“What?! I was kiddin’ but yer really goin’ behind my back with him?!” He asks and you expect to see him fuming based on how strained his voice is but his frustrated expression immediately shifts to one of betrayed and even though you know it isn’t true, even though you know it technically doesn’t matter because your relationship wasn’t real in the first place, even though it shouldn’t be a problem, you grab his face in a panic and yell-

“No! It’s not what ya think!”

Atsumu winces, as if your touch physically hurt him but he can’t tear his eyes away from your alarmed and worried face, gentle hands cupping his cheeks as if he’s something precious that needs to be handled carefully. His chest aches from the yearning, aches at how easy it would be to grab your hands and kiss you on the lips, aches as he imagines how relieving it would be to finally show his affections to you if only he had the courage to do it.

Aches at how he can’t do it because you’re scared too.

“Then how come ya knew it first before I did?! Even ‘Samu’s betrayin’ me now, huh?” He grabs your hands and pushes it away from him, leaning back so he won’t have to suffer through the comfort of your body heat. He misses you so much, he’s starting to hate it. Even now, even if you two are arguing and interacting as if nothing’s happened between you both, he misses you.

Your expression suddenly hardens, a face he loves so dearly staring at him as if he’s stupid. He is. He’s stupid in the part where he couldn’t convince you to make what you had with him into a real thing before you got scared and pushed him away. He’s stupid in the part where he can tell that Osamu’s decision was coming but decided to ignore it because he reasoned it was just a gut feeling anyway. Stupid in the part where he knows he’s incredibly lonely and hurt right now, feeling like he’s just lost two important people in his life, but refuses to admit it in fear of appearing weak.

“Atsumu, yer brother didn’t betray ya.” The way his name tumbles out your lips has him trembling and he has to look away so he can compose himself enough to not break down in front of you because that would be super scrubby of him. You reach for his arm and he wants to recoil so badly, to lash out to you and just tell you to go away already, to leave him alone to ‘stargaze’ but when you grip his arm tightly and tell him it’s okay, he loses all strength to do so. When he looks back at you, you want to cry yourself.

“I thought we’re gonna show the world together,” he says and it breaks your heart because he sounds like a lost child.

You rub the arm you’re holding, trying to comfort him. You feel him shake and you scoot closer as he closes his eyes shut, face scrunching up as he tries not to cry.

“That damn ‘Samu. I’d show him. I’d show him he was wrong to make this decision.” 

You briefly let go of him so you can open your arms up for an embrace and he didn’t have to think twice, body moving like it’s meant to meld with yours as he buries his nose in the crook of your neck. He holds you like you’re a lifeline, like you’re the only one meant to see him hurt this much and you hold him back with the same intensity, trying to keep him afloat before he buries himself in a pit he made for himself. You feel him tremble in your arms, feeling wet tears fall on your skin as he sniffles like a lost child and you just hold him, helping him carry the weight on his shoulder for a little while.

You can at least do this much as his friend .

(But how wonderful it would be if only...)

“I know it’s stupid for me ta be so upset but…” He starts, gasping hard as he tries to contain his emotions. You rub soothing circles on his back and that somehow makes him tear up more, tightening his hold on you. You almost get overwhelmed with how warm he is. It’s comfortable and safe, a soothing feeling blanketing you, and all you can think of is how you belong in here, in Atsumu’s arms. 

“It’s not stupid.” Your voice shakes so you clear your throat, nuzzling up to his ears as you also try to contain yourself in. One of your hands lifts up to pet his head, fingers tangling in his hair as you pull him closer to you. “I’ll ride the sadness out with ya then we’ll talk ‘bout it, ‘kay ‘Tsumu?”

There’s so much emotion inside of Atsumu right now that he feels like he’s a second away from combusting but most of all he’s glad you’re here. Glad that you sought him out despite breaking things up with him, glad that you’re letting him pour his sadness onto you and grateful because he wouldn’t be alone to deal with whatever’s plaguing his mind right now.

“‘Kay.”

All of his insecurities, all his fears and doubts, and how he’ll handle all of them once Osamu is truly out of the picture. 

Even if he saw it coming from miles away, even if he chose to ignore it, even if he’s disappointed but not surprised, it still hurts. He’s been with his twin all his life and suddenly he’s presented with a reality that Osamu might not be there with him forever, playing volleyball beside him, showing the whole wide world how frightening the Miya twins can be. Atsumu knows it’s childish. That it’s an impossible dream from the start and he’s honestly disgusted with how attached he is to Osamu but he can’t help but feel this way. He feels betrayed. Feels like he’s been left behind.

“I’ll be here ta listen, ‘Tsumu,” you mutter into his ear and it tickles but it brings him warmth inside, spreading slowly, making him feel loved. Brought by the girl who broke his heart. By the girl who betrayed him alongside his brother. He knows it’s stupid to pin all of the blame on you and Osamu and Atsumu knows he’s being illogical, that he wasn’t betrayed at all, but he wants someone to blame for the meantime, to reaffirm to himself that he’s not the problem.

You two stay like that for a while until he’s able to calm down but he holds you still, pulling you into his lap as he lifts his head and then buries yours in his chest, refusing to show you how much of a scrub he feels right now. You blush as you hear the steady rhythm of his heart and you pray to whatever gods listening that he doesn’t hear your frantic one.

Atsumu stares at the night sky, the cold wind biting his damp cheeks and he pulls you closer as if there’s any space in between you two left anymore. You’re warm and he thinks it feels nice to hold the world in his arms.

He snorts. How corny. 

(But, he does think the world of you.)

He sighs, a puff of smoke coming out in the air.

“I know I should be supportive because he’s pursuin’ somethin’ he’s really passionate about but…”

You try to lift your head so you can look at him in the eyes but he brings it back down again to his chest with a hand, making you pout. You sigh and scratch at his undercut, making him shiver. You eventually stop doing that because it somehow felt intimate. (As if you two aren’t basically cuddling outdoors right now.) Suddenly, you’re glad that your face is buried in Atsumu’s chest, making him unable to see just how flustered you’re getting.

“But?” You ask, trying to get your mind off the gutter. Focus! You’re here to comfort him, not to daydream about what could’ve been.

“I feel like m’bein’ left behind,” Atsumu says, completely oblivious to your impure thoughts. You immediately feel bad so you bring all your attention to him at once. 

“I thought he’d be with me ‘till the end.” He continues.

You hum. “He still would be though?”

Atsumu freezes. You snort.

“He’s yer brother, of course he’d still be with ya even if he’s not standing on the court besides ya. Yer literally twins, aren’t ya guys like two halves of one whole? M’sure that even if yer walking on different paths yer still gonna be there for each other, making faces and whatnot on your side of the road.”

There’s a moment of silence before Atsumu nuzzles the side of your head and you wince a bit, feeling ticklish, but also, is this normal for friends? It’s not, isn’t it? Suddenly, you’re overtaken with the urge to push him away but Atsumu’s hold on you is tight and you’re literally stunned when he pulls away for a bit and looks at you, your faces close enough for your noses to brush. His eyes are sad and even in the dark you can tell that his eyelashes are wet. You swallow when he closes his eyes.

“I know,” he mutters, “But what if I start ta lose interest in volleyball?”

You bite your lower lip and you have to close your eyes too because he’s so close, you can feel his breath in your lips and oh no, this is not good for your little heart.

“Do ya really think you’ll lose interest in it?” You whisper, somewhat scared. Scared of what, you don’t know yet.

You feel him hum.

“No.”

“Then there’s yer answer.”

“What ‘bout ya, [Y/n]?” Atsumu finally lets go of you, making you open your eyes, and you immediately miss his warmth but you don’t have to think about that because his hands are already intertwining with yours and even though you’re just in between his legs, you feel like you’re caged inside his whole form, eyes locked with yours and you swear he’s casted a spell on you.

“What’re yer plans for the future?”

You stare at your intertwined hands. Even if you want to let go, you can’t bring yourself to.

“I’m plannin’ on going pro, duh.” You scoff in order to hide how your heart’s acting up. You’re scared. You’re scared.

Atsumu snickers. “Me too.”

You’re scared because you know how he affects you.

“Do ya think you’d be happy with that?” He inquires. You roll your eyes.

“F’course. I get ta do what I love and get ta play with powerful opponents. What more would I want?” 

“I think so too.” Atsumu lifts his head again to look at the sky and instead of following his gaze, you stare properly at his face and you know he’s infuriating, know he’s annoying, but why is it that you hold nothing but affection and fondness for this guy? 

“Then m’not makin’ a mistake, right?”

“Well, I don’t know.”

He whines. “Come on! It’s literally free ta be optimistic!”

You hold his hand enough to hurt, making him wince. He doesn’t let go despite that though, squeezing your hand in return as payback. You hiss and wrangle your hand free, glaring at him before hitting him in the arm and he laughs. He laughs. You stare at him, a bit shocked and only now do you realize how much you’ve missed how his laugh sounds like. You hold back your tears because why is it like this? 

You look away. “We dunno what the future holds but since it’s ya, for some reason I know ya’d be fine.”

You don’t know how but you hear Atsumu smile.

“I think the same for you too, [Y/n].” He ruffles your hair and you have to swat his hand away before the weight in your chest becomes heavier.

It hurts and you’re scared but at the same time why are you letting this fear paralyze you in the first place anyway? It’s not like this is the first time you’ve been scared, fear isn’t a stranger to you. You were scared when that basketball captain cornered you during your freshman year, you were scared when you faced the girl who was awarded as the best highschool setter during last year’s interhigh, you were scared on court whenever you feel like you’re not doing enough.

You were scared when Atsumu said you should break up.

(Are you gonna keep running away?)

(You swallow because the coward in you is winning. Your feelings for Atsumu is just a battle you don’t know how to win.)

“So, which university are ya aiming for?” Atsumu asks, unprompted, and you’re grateful for the distraction. That stirs a discussion, conversation flowing naturally as if you two had not been acting as the most bitter exes in Inarizaki High for the past few months. You learn that you’re aiming for universities quite far from each other and you tease Atsumu a bit if he’ll have the brains for the entrance exam and he irritatingly reminds you that he’s quite smart despite his appearances. He then proceeds to get offended when you genuinely forgot that he has the brains and you two bicker about it for a while until you guys are left with nothing but laughs, cheeks and jaws hurting because of the cold and because of the exchanges of playful grins and laughs.

The laughter soon dies down and you two are left to sit in silence as you finish the last remaining meat bun, watching the stars above you and ignoring the frost of the wind that keeps blowing, brushing your cheeks with the cold. You find that you don’t mind it that much because Atsumu’s close and the man is luckily built like a furnace. You chuckle silently to yourself.

(You love him.)

Atsumu sort of panics once he checks his phone and sees the time, helping you stand up as he gathers his stuff and unceremoniously sticks it in his bag. He stretches, back cracking, and out of habit, he sticks his hand out so you can hold hands.

Atsumu doesn’t know if it’s out of habit too but you hold it, small cold and slightly rough hands tenderly fitting in his large ones.

He squeezes it, making you look at him.

“Why’re ya here, [Y/n]?”

You bite the inside of your cheek, nervous, “I made a promise ta Osamu-kun.”

“Liar.” Atsumu accuses. That makes you furrow your brows.

“M’not a liar. I really did!”

“So ya didn’t come here because yer worried ‘bout me?” Atsumu asks and you notice that his mood is still visibly bad. Your chest tightens a bit because he must be seeking for attention, for validation. Atsumu might not admit it but you’ve suspected that he has a bit of an inferior complex towards Osamu hence why he’s so unnecessarily overly competitive towards the grey-haired twin all the time.

“I was worried ‘bout ya too.” You look away, unable to lie because lying means it’ll hurt Atsumu’s feelings. You squeeze his hand. “Are ya okay now?”

Atsumu isn’t because now that you two are about to go home, he can’t distract himself with your smile anymore. When he’s back in the Miya residence, he has to face Osamu again and be called a scrub for sulking over the other’s decision.

(Osamu won’t mean it and Atsumu knows that his twin will do some comforting gesture in a roundabout way. That irritates Atsumu too.)

“Why’d ya know I’d be here?” He dodges the question and asks instead, saying anything to stall for time. You indulge him anyway, spoiling him just this once.

“You mentioned that ya come here whenever ya want ta think and get away from Osamu-kun, didn’t ya? It was pretty obvious ya’d be here.”

“So ya do listen ta me…” Atsumu mutters.

You glare at him, offended. “F’course, I do.” 

“Then,” he suddenly leans close to your face and you don’t know why but you’re left frozen still in your spot and you couldn’t do anything but stare back at his brown eyes, so determined and beautiful with a tinge of sadness, “Will ya listen ta me now?”

“Atsumu-”

“I like you, [Y/n].”

Your eyes widen and his grip on your hand tightens. Your heart’s pounding in your ears when he suddenly leans closer and you brace yourself, closing your eyes shut and freezing up more because you’re expecting a kiss. It never comes and his lips only brush lightly on your cheeks and then your ear.

You’re certain every drop of blood in your body is now rushing to your cheeks.

(Atsumu thinks you’re warm.)

“No way.” You whisper. You’re scared. This must be a prank. A lie.

(You know deep inside your heart that it isn’t but you’re scared to admit that to yourself because Atsumu will literally become your weakness and you’re certain that if it doesn’t work out between you two when you’re dating for real, love will be ruined for you for the rest of your life.)

Atsumu wraps an arm around you, giving you a half-hug as one of his hands is still holding yours. It’s scary how the gesture is so comforting and welcome. So scary that you’re about to cry. 

“Why do ya always deny it? I don’t think I hide how much I’m in love with ya either so why do ya think I’m just pretendin’?”

“Atsumu…” You mutter, body getting weak. He holds you up, sturdy arms holding you like the precious thing you are.

“Though there is the possibility that ya just don’t like me, isn’t there? Well, I’d take it like a champ if that’s the case but…” He rests his forehead on yours and you’re too scared to open your eyes because you know you’d just be breathless when you see the sincerity in his. You bite your lower lip.

“...That isn’t the case, is it?”

And then there’s deafening silence and you would have kept him waiting forever if you could but you don’t think it’s really that good for your heart. You slowly open your eyes and just as you feared, you’re left breathless because he’s so close and so beautiful and my gosh, how can you be anything but in love with Miya, Atsumu?

(Isn’t it ironic how you’re scared of Atsumu but at the same time he makes you feel safe?)

“Shut up,” you mutter, almost ashamed at how happiness blooms in your chest as the word 'I like you' reverberate inside your head. Three simple words and it feels like you won the jackpot. That makes Atsumu chuckle because he knows what you mean to convey just based on those two words. He pulls you closer to him and you get flustered more because you can hear his frantic heartbeat too, beating just in tune with yours. You hide your face with your free hand and that makes him chuckle more.

“Shut up!” You repeat, with more force this time and you shove him a bit away from you. He just clings to you more, making you groan and him laugh more. He kisses your temple and you make an embarrassing noise that has him laughing again.

(You’re warm and he thinks it feels nice to hold the world in his arms.)

“Say, ‘Samu and I had a bet on who’d be happier between the two of us 80 years from now.”

“I heard. Pretty scrubby for ya both.” You mutter, bitterness seeping in your tone and Atsumu snorts. He pulls away, putting distance between your body but your hands remain intertwined, always intertwined, two idiots refusing to let go of each other. He smirks at how red your face is even in the dark but you just scoff at him because he isn’t any better, his cheeks and ears flushed just as much as yours.

You squeeze his hand.

“I like you, Atsumu.”

Atsumu nearly melts as you catch him off-guard and he has to scowl at you for making him lose his train of thought. You just giggle at that because now that you’ve said it to his face, it feels liberating.

You wonder what you were so afraid of in the first place. It’s like a heavy weight has been lifted.

“Anyways!” Atsumu says, biting his lower lip as he avoids your gaze, the one to be flustered as all heck this time, much to your amusement. He's so happy he could die. If Osamu and Suna were here, you’re sure they’d be gagging at the display but you’re glad they aren’t because you could share this moment with him and no one but him, saying things to each other that you both already know before all the misunderstanding and denial even occurred.

“What?” You ask impatiently but you shut your mouth when he looks back at you again and you wonder when he got this handsome.

“I plan ta win that bet with that scrub too,” Atsumu says. The guy hates losing so he’ll be damned if he doesn’t show up 80 years later to look Osamu in the eyes and tell him he’s the happiest between the two of them.

The next question catches you off-guard.

“So, won’t ya marry me someday?”

It’d be easier if you'd be there with him.

Chapter Text

“So, won’t ya marry me someday?”

You stare at him, completely flabbergasted because you didn’t expect that at all. Heck, you’ve just confessed to each other and to be honest, his confession came out of nowhere too, considering he was just crying about Osamu so, what is happening right now?

Maybe, this isn’t real after all. 

You pinch him hard on the arm with your free hand making him yelp and cuss you out. He briefly moves away from you, rubbing the spot that you pinched so he could get some sort of relief.

“What the fuck, [Y/n]?!” He glares at you, a little teary-eyed. You tilt your head in confusion.

“Oh, so it hurt, huh? So this isn’t a dream?”

This time it’s Atsumu who reaches for your cheek and pinches you, making you yell in pain and smack his hand away. You hiss at him angrily.

“What the fuck, ‘Tsumu?!”

“Oh, sO it hUrT, hUh?” He mocks you and makes a face that irritates you so freaking much, you get the urge to bite him. You aim a kick on his shin instead but the guy is quick to dodge, so used to being targeted by his twin brother and you that he developed a reflex. He sticks out his tongue in your direction and you do the same, even making horns with your hands to tease him. He just rolls his eyes as he moves near you again, taking your hand in his. You let him. You’ll always let him.

“Hey, wait, you didn’t answer my question at all!” Atsumu suddenly snaps just as you two step foot onto the path on your way back. This time, it’s your turn to roll your eyes.

“Are ya prankin’ me after all? Was the confession just a joke too, ya loser?” You pout and even though Atsumu’s irritation meter is halfway full, it completely depletes back to zero once he sees that adorable expression on your face. He scowls, annoyed that he’s getting all melty just by having you look at him this way. Your power over him is scary.

“No? I’m serious! I really want ta marry ya someday!”

You click your tongue and hide your face with your free hand, trying to stop a smile from appearing on your face. Damn you, Atsumu. The thought of marrying him has your stomach filling with butterflies, all of them fluttering and making you feel, for lack of a better word, happy . You’re happy that he evens entertain the idea and you kind of hate it because he really makes you feel like a dumb teenager in love, so smitten and whipped that even the thought of his smiling face gets you blushing.

(Though, the same could be said about Atsumu. In fact, he’s more smitten with you than you are with him.)

“Let’s just go home,” you mutter, trying to get away from this topic. Atsumu scoffs but decides to drop it because it is getting late and he doesn’t wanna force it if it really makes you uncomfortable. Besides, he doesn’t want to get scolded by your parents either if they find out that he’s the one keeping you out too late. He squeezes your hand at this thought as you both silently trudge down the beaten path, eyes trained to the ground as to avoid any accidental slips and accidents.

You squeeze his hand back, making Atsumu’s heart skip a beat and he has to internally reprimand himself because it’s not as if it’s the first time you’ve done that. It’s not as if this is the first time you held hands but everytime, every single time, his heart flutters as if it’s the first. Now, how can be anything but sure that you’re the one he’s meant to spend the rest of his life with? He doesn’t believe much in destiny but he believes in creating his own path and he for sure would do everything in his power to include you in his.

Was it destiny too when you first made eye contact during that training camp? Maybe. But it wasn’t destiny when he’s decided to approach you everytime with something stupid ready in his mouth just so you would pay attention to him. It wasn’t destiny whenever he’s decided to act upon his feelings just so you would smile his way. It wasn’t destiny at all when he began to feel something much more deeper than a highschool crush towards you.

(Soulmates are made and he’s made you his.)

Though, what does he know? He’s just a speck in this universe. You’re one too. Sure, there are gods watching over this earth and maybe they’re responsible for every single thing that’s happening in one’s life and maybe Atsumu isn’t in control of his after all but he’s glad. He’s glad he’s found you, either by divine intervention or by his own stubbornness and decisions.

“I’m glad yer here with me.” He murmurs just as you two step onto the main pathway, your eyes adjusting to the brighter and harsher lights. He squints, blinking away the pain multiple times, and when his eyes finally refocus and your face comes into view, cheeks tinted pink and your eyes sparkling as you stare back at him, he nearly forgets how to breathe.

The somersaults his stomach does when you smile up at him is so cheesy, it makes him sick.

“I'm glad you let me be with ya, ya dumbass.”

Atsumu snorts. He thanks the gods anyways because he met you.

***

Atsumu walks you home even though you said that he doesn’t need to, stubbornly insisting that he’s missed doing this and he wants to spend more time with you. You just snorted at that statement but he didn’t miss the way you try to stop a smile from forming on your lips, so he doesn’t feel that bad for imposing himself to you. Besides, you didn’t really put up much of a fight either and if anything, you started talking to him animatedly about your day during your walk back, telling him how you stayed back late to school because your senpais held a meeting to share some advice and some suggestions on who the next captain should be. He really isn’t that surprised when you told him that you’re the top candidate. 

“Kita-senpai and Aran-senpai suggested that I become captain next year too,” Atsumu says and he expects you to tease him about it or at least throw a witty quip in his way but to his surprise, you smile.

“I think ya’d do great, ‘Tsumu.”

Is it normal to feel this much just from something simple as that?

Atsumu averts his gaze away from you, the tips of his ears reddening again. Dammit, he’d just calmed down too. 

“What? Not gonna say anythin’ ‘bout how my teammates will hate it?” He scowls just to hide the fact that he’s feeling all mushy though he notices you’re not thoroughly convinced with his little performance because the moment you glance at his ears, a sly smile forms on your lips and you bump your shoulder with his, one of your fingers tapping at his hand.

“Why’re ya askin’? Feelin’ a little too happy with my previous statement that yer ears are actin’ up and stuff?” You ask, mirth evident in your tone. Atsumu curses under his breath and hides the ear on your side with his free hand, glaring at you with as much animosity as he can (which isn’t that much). You laugh at his behavior, cheeks tainting red because of how cute he is and Atsumu doesn’t miss it too, immediately poking you on the face and smirking haughtily.

“Why’re ya blushin’, [Y/n]? Are ya bein’ charmed by how handsome I am?” He fires back, not wanting to be outdone. You just roll your eyes at his pettiness (though you’re not really one to talk) and you have half the mind to refute him to make him angry but you settle on the opposite instead.

“Yeah, I am actually. I think yer really handsome.”

Atsumu groans loudly while clutching his chest and you elbow him in embarrassment, flustered at his own ridiculous reaction and hoping that the houses nearby didn’t get startled by the noise. 

“Keep quiet! What the hell was that about?!” You hiss, heart in a frenzy because why is he this way?! The gesture he did was so lame and corny but it had your heart acting up all the same. Do you really have that bad of an effect on him (and vice versa, to your chagrin) or is he just messing with you?

Atsumu hisses back, “What the hell was that about?! Are ya tryin’ ta kill me?!”

“Which part of that seemed like I was tryin’ ta kill ya?! Are you a moron?! Wait, no, don’t answer that-”

“I’m not a moron!”

“-cause ya undoubtedly are.”

Atsumu grabs the top of your head while his hand is in a claw and you’re quick to get a hold of his wrist too, burying your nails in his skin in retaliation. You try to lift your head under the heavy pressure he’s putting with his hand just so you can look him in the eyes with spite, challenging him with a glare as you sink your nails harder on his wrist. He sneers at you, obviously not wanting to lose in this impromptu fight you two are partaking in, the hands that are intertwined also squeezing each other, just waiting for one to let go.

He shifts his hand a bit so two of his fingers can press hard on your temples and after a minute, you let go of him and smack his hand away, cursing under your breath as you move away from him and clutch your head with both hands. Atsumu immediately feels a bit bad for being the cause of your pain so he moves closer to you and cups your face, trying to assess the damage he’s done. (He ignores the fact that his wrist stings and has red crescent marks in them.) You let him touch you but not without pouting.

“Sorry.” He pouts too as he rubs your temples soothingly. You glance at his wrist as your hand gently comes up to it too, tracing your fingers over the dents you made and you don’t know what comes over you but you tilt your head a little to brush your lips over the crescent shaped marks on his skin.

“M’sorry too,” you mutter and when you look up at his face, it startles you a bit because he’s bright red again and he looks like he’s about to throw up. You tilt your head in confusion and are about to ask him if he’s alright when you realize what you’ve done once he pulls his hand back and then stares at your lips.

Ah, how many times in a span of an hour can he get you so flustered?

“L-let’s just hurry home…”

“Yeah…”

You hold hands again like it’s second nature, like it’s the most natural thing in the world between the two of you and when you calmed down again, Atsumu brings up that you should jog together tomorrow morning. You excitedly agree, eager to go on a run with him, and you teasingly challenge him to see who’d run faster and who’d get worn out first. Atsumu just scoffs and then mentions the fact that your stamina isn’t that great at all and yet you had the audacity to challenge him. You giggle, in an awfully good mood, before sticking your tongue out at him and telling him that you two will settle it tomorrow. You decide on a time just as you’re in front of your house.

You regard each other and for some reason, you two are acting shyly again, eyes downcast as you stare at your intertwined hands.

“Well, I guess this is where we part,” you say with a chuckle before letting go of his hand first. Atsumu really hates parting with you and he is a little bit irked that he spent so little time with you today just after you’ve confessed to each other. He wants to do nothing but bask in your presence, to stare at your smile, to listen to your voice and your laugh but alas, time is cruel. He also briefly wonders if he’s too clingy and if you’ll be put off by it. He bites the inside of his cheek in frustration.

You stare at each other again and you feel that weird trance once more, the feeling where your heart pounds loudly but calmly inside your chest, so at ease as you gaze into his eyes and there’s like a magnetic force pulling you two together. Like you’re about to kiss. You immediately avert your gaze, heart not ready for that yet, and step back with a shy smile.

“See ya tomorrow, ‘Tsumu.” You turn your back on him and walk towards your front door, not even waiting for a reply from him. Atsumu just watches you, not really sure what to do with himself until he remembers something that’s still left hanging in the air.

“Hey! Before ya go inside, ya should tell me if you’ll be willing ta marry me in the future!”

You immediately whip your head in his direction and shush him, a bit scared that your parents might’ve heard him, and you’re just about to tell him to go home already when you see the determination in his face indicating that he’s really serious about his question. Your gaze softens and sure, marrying him seems ideal now but you’re too young to be even considering it and you’re still not sure where this relationship will be headed so it’s better not to raise both your hopes up yet. You just scoff at him.

“Ya haven’t even asked me ta be yer girlfriend yet!”

Atsumu’s eyes widens, realizing you’re right and he’s a bit embarrassed that he just assumed things would be headed that way even if there isn’t a verbal agreement between the both of you. Is he jumping the gun again? You got in a (fake) relationship first before even confessing to each other and now, he’s bringing marriage to the table without even confirming if you two are officially dating yet. How lame.

“T-then, will ya be my girlfriend?” He asks, abashed as he rubs his neck.

You smile and Atsumu thinks that it’s the reason why he’s been thrown off his game in the first place and made asking you out so difficult. You’re an angel.

“I will. Take care on yer way home, ‘Tsumu. I love you.”

Atsumu’s ears ring at the last three words and he swears he feels like he’s about to explode. His mouth gapes, torn between asking you to repeat it again and to say it back but you don’t even give him a chance because you immediately go inside your house, just as flustered as him.

He’s going to die. He’s going to die right now and it’d be fine because at least he’s going to die happy. He buries his face in his hands and lets out a muffled scream, crouching outside your house, so in love and happy as if he wasn’t just sulking about Osamu moments ago.

After a few minutes of a silent happy meltdown, he stands up and adjusts his bag, hands in his pockets to warm them up. He misses holding your hand already. He looks up at the night sky again and smiles. 

He thinks it’ll be alright.

He’s glad he’s found you, either by divine intervention or by his own stubbornness and decisions. 

And one thing’s for sure.

He’ll do everything in his power to make you stay.

***

(“Where’d ya been?” Osamu asks the moment he hears Atsumu’s footsteps ascending up the stairs. He expects Atsumu to immediately scowl at him and tell him it’s not any of his business but, instead, the twin smiles haughtily, acting as if he’s one-upped Osamu at something.

“Let’s just say yer not the only one who said somethin’ life-alterin’ today.”)

***

“Good mornin’.”

“Good mornin’ too, babe.”

You immediately grimace. “Ew.”

Atsumu wants to laugh at your reaction but he suppresses the urge and sneers at you instead, acting offended just for the heck of it although it’s not entirely convincing because one corner of his mouth is twitching up. You suppress the urge to smile too as you wait for him to act up. He doesn’t disappoint. 

“Rude! And here I was tryna flirt with ya!”

“Ya suck at flirting!” 

“Lemme see ya try then!” He points at you. You just scoff and you open your mouth to try but you don’t exactly know what to say so you just point back at him and glare.

“Just shut up and let’s jog, ya idiot!”

“But I’m yer idiot.” Atsumu holds the hand that you’re pointing and snickers and you roll your eyes and slap his hand away, huffing. He doesn’t relent with the flirting though because he suddenly wraps an arm around your shoulder and kisses your temple, too affectionate for his own good. You blush. You already knew Atsumu is affectionate but he usually restrains himself when you two were just fake dating, but now that you guys are the real deal, receiving this attention from him feels… weird .

A good kind of weird though.

You don’t really push him away because, as much as you don’t want to admit it, you like being near him. Whenever you guys touch, you feel like there’s a small spark igniting inside your skin but it’s not uncomfortable. It’s warm and fuzzy and it makes you happy. You like Atsumu. You really do and you could honestly stay in his embrace all day especially when the weather is a little chilly. But , you guys woke up early to jog and not to flirt in the middle of the street. You sigh before biting the inside of your cheek and lightly elbowing him on the side so he’ll step away. Reel yourself in, [Y/n]! Don’t get swept up by his pace again!

(As if your whole relationship with him wasn’t a whirlwind to begin with.)

“Come on, let’s go already.”

Atsumu whines but eventually starts stretching when you start stretching too, already getting the message that you’re tired of his antics and he should just try again later. As he does, he can’t help but steal glances at you. You’re wearing a jacket and leggings and he can’t help but be mesmerized by your form, admiring your curves and the way they bend, muscle straining underneath the fabric as you exert effort in them. The moment you turn his way, he immediately whips his head to the other direction lest he gets accused of being a pervert. Well, sure , he was checking you out and, sure , he’s thought a couple (no, a bunch ) of impure thoughts about you (especially when he sees you in your volleyball shorts) but he can’t help it, okay?! He’s a healthy teenage boy! 

He shakes his head because he’s totally not even thinking impure thoughts at the moment and he’s not about to start now but he’s just been thinking how lucky he is that he gets to be with you and admire you so early in the morning. The sun isn’t even out yet and he suddenly gets giddy at the thought of watching the sun rise with you. He bets you’ll look really pretty as the light hits your face, a refreshing smile on your lips as you look up at him.

“Hey, earth to ‘Tsumu!” You snap your fingers in front of him impatiently and he snaps back to reality, a little bit startled as he stares at the real person in front of him. Even when you’re frowning, the fact that you’re staring at him still gets his heart racing and he groans a bit at how smitten he is. 

“Keep daydreamin’ and I’ll leave ya behind for real.” You scoff. 

Atsumu just brushes it off, as if he wasn’t just daydreaming about your smiling face. “Yeah, yeah, let’s go.”

You both settle on a pace, jogging besides each other around the neighbourhood, bodies in sync. After a minute or two, Atsumu starts some small talk.

“‘Samu was actually supposed ta join me this morning.”

You perk up, “Oh? Why isn’t he here?”

He glances at you. “Cause I told him you’d be with me.”

You raise an eyebrow, confused, until you realize that technically, you both ended your relationship in bad terms so it must be a shock that you two are back together again. You let out a sigh. Your relationship is somehow known to every soul in your school just because Atsumu is a heartthrob so you’re sure that you two getting back together will be another hot piece of information that will get the student body talking. You glare at him, annoyed that your relationship has to be talked about and he just frowns back, as if he can read what you’re thinking.

“So, what did Osamu-kun say?”

“That yer an idiot for gettin’ back with me.” Atsumu scowls. You laugh, the sound melodious to his ears and when he looks at you again, his heart skips a beat as he watches how your eyes crinkles in delight and your mouth forms a grin directed at him . He suddenly finds it hard to breathe and he internally curses because that’s cheating!

“Maybe, he’s right,” you say teasingly and Atsumu sneers, ignoring your quip. You laugh again and this time, Atsumu avoids looking at you because his heart rate might spike up and make things difficult for him.

“How’d we tell the others though? We’d be like clowns, y’know. Since the ‘breakup’ was so dramatic and all.”

“Just let them figure it out themselves and who cares what they think anyway? Yer input is the only thing that matters ta me.”

You blush, eyes softening as you stare at his pouting side view for a moment before looking back on the path so you won’t bump into things or trip. He’s really never been one to think about what others think. You let out a relieved sigh.

“Yeah, yer right.”

“I’m always right.”

You roll your eyes. “Shut up.” 

Atsumu laughs and it’s such a nice sound, so boyish and free. You smile a little.

“Anyways-” Atsumu starts, not having the intention to shut up at all, “Did yer mum know that we broke up?”

You bite your lower lip. “I usually avoid her questions so I think she just thinks we fought or we're on a break or somethin’.”

Atsumu hums, delighted. You quirk an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Nothin’. Cause I just told my mum too that we were just fightin’ when she asked if we broke up.”

You gasp, suddenly remembering his mother, the sweet lady. You’re suddenly filled with mixed emotions and you click your tongue at him.

“That’s pretty ballsy of you, huh! What if we didn’t get back together, how’d ya explain that ta her?”

“No use of thinkin’ of what-ifs, duh. Yer here with me now, aren’t ya?” Atsumu tilts his head to smirk at you and you just scoff, looking away because wow, that was so attractive and you really can’t believe that you managed to snatch this idiot of a man.

“Anyways!” It’s your turn to change the topic, a bit shy under his gaze. “So, will our anniversary date be yesterday?” You joke.

Atsumu hums thoughtfully, seriously taking your question into consideration, which makes you more embarrassed. You’re about to tell him it’s a joke and that he shouldn’t have to answer because you don’t really care for stuff like that, but he gets to you first.

“I mean, we can change the date. Doesn’t change the fact that we’ve been datin’ for like a year and a half though.”

Now, you’re full on blushing.

“Huh?!”

Atsumu scowls at you, “What do you mean ‘huh’?!”

“Who said we’ve been datin’ for a year and a half?! That was just pretend, isn’t it?!”

He gasps, appalled at what you just said. “Don’t shit on me! We did couple stuff even when nobody was around!”

You sneer at him, “What couple stuff! Don’t make it sound like we did somethin’ indecent, we just held hands and went out on dates a lot!”

“Exactly! We didn’t even hafta do that half the time!” 

“Why did ya do it then?!” You furrow your eyebrows and only now do you realize that you two have been increasing your jogging pace the whole time you were bickering. You internally chuckle at that, endeared. 

Your thoughts get cut off at what he says next.

“‘Cause I was in love with ya, duh!”

“Wh-”

“How ‘bout you?” He asks as if challenging you. You bite the inside of your cheek, nervous.

You get the sudden urge to run away, not really used to such honesty, so you did, legs picking up their pace as Atsumu shouts ‘Hey!’ and runs after you. You tell him to shut up and leave you alone and he tells you to answer his question, you coward.  

Atsumu catches your wrist and eventually stops you from running and you don’t really know what transpires next but you end up holding both of his hands as you two push against each other, hands on a death grip, determined to overpower the other. You click your tongue at him.

“So yer tellin’ me you’ve liked me from the start?!”

Atsumu scoffs but a tint of red dusts his cheeks. You don’t know if it’s because he’s flustered or is it because you both just exhausted yourselves doing something silly. “Duh! How dense are ya?!”

“Duh?! Ya did nothin’ but piss me off and insult me back then! Yer flirting game is weak as hell!”

The face Atsumu makes nearly has you rolling on the ground laughing because of how offended he looks. You suppress the urge as you desperately try to frown, feigning annoyance. He grips your hand tighter and you wince because it actually hurt a bit. You think Atsumu notices because he quickly loosens it up again.

“I literally was so nice ta ya! I even always invited ya to have lunch with us just so I can befriend ya but you were always so unpleasant and yer tellin’ me I’m the bully?!”

“Well, I hated ya back then!”

Atsumu kind of already knew that back then but hearing it from you still stings a bit. You quickly save it once you notice how his mood subtly shifts, although what you say next is the truth too.

“I hated how yer so irritating and yet my heart still skips a beat or two when ya smile at me and stuff like that,” you mutter begrudgingly and somehow, you can physically feel how Atsumu’s mood bounces back. If he had a tail, it’d be wagging right now.

“I see, I see. So ya had a crush back on me too back then, huh?” He says, way too pleased with himself. You grit your teeth, squeeze his hand and push back again just to hide your embarrassment. He pushes back too but now with a lovestruck and triumphant grin in his face. He’s not saying anything but your whole being is being set ablaze with embarrassment and you just know he’s having a field day with this.

“Shut up! Ya had a crush on me too so don’t act so smug!”

“Tsundere.”

“I’m not!” You kick him in the shin and to your surprise, he dodges. He laughs and you’re left with a red face again, both from anger and shame.

Both of your attention gets stolen though once the whole place suddenly starts lighting up and you realize that it’s the sun rising. Luckily, you both are in a spot where you can clearly see it and somehow the sight stops you guys from bickering. You put down your hands but keep one of them intertwined, as usual and as always. 

Atsumu could never tire of holding your hand.

He suddenly flinches and as if on instinct, he averts his gaze away from the sunrise to look at you. You . He watches as the sun bathes your skin in light, lighting your features up, so ethereal and beautiful. He’s never seen someone quite like you. Someone who can take his breath away just by existing. 

Once you realize he’s staring at you, you look up at him with a small smile and softly ask him, “What?”

Atsumu suddenly thinks he hasn’t replied to you yesterday yet.

“I love you too.”

Your eyes widen at his words and he watches as your cheeks bloom red. He hums because of the knowledge that he caused that. He made you flustered, made your heart skip a beat, made you feel the same way he does just by looking at you. You lift your free hand to hide your face again, a habit that you seem to like to do. 

( Why are you hiding your face though? It’s such a waste , Atsumu thinks.)

“Shut up,” you mutter weakly. You’re pretty sure your whole body is red right now because my gosh , those four words aren't good for your heart.

He answered you.

You feel like crying because of too much happiness.

Atsumu leans his head down and steps in front of you, prying your hand away so he can see your face clearly. You’re feeling too weak to even swat him away, overwhelmed with your own emotions, so you look down as a last resort. Instead of lifting your head up, he crouches in front of you, looking up and smiling at you sheepishly. You feel like melting because he looks at you with stars in his eyes, you can clearly see it. You gently knock his forehead with your knuckle.

“Idiot,” you mutter timidly. Atsumu snorts before taking the hand that you just used to knock him and then kisses your palm.

“Idiot.” He says back. You grin despite it all.

So this is how it feels to be in love and be loved back.

Chapter Text

After your jog, you stop by Asahara-san’s for refreshments, the two of you greeting the old lady cheerily as if you guys haven’t been avoiding crossing paths in this shop for the past few months in fear of upsetting the ever-supportive owner of said place. She smiles at you nonetheless, welcoming you both with care. Surprisingly, Asahara-san’s husband is in the shop too, arranging some of the merchandise with a frown. The old lady’s warm smile contrasts with the gruff nod the older man gives you but, still, you and Atsumu bow towards him politely.

“So I take it the talk last night went well seeing as you troublemakers are together again,” Asahara-san giggles as she hands you your respective drinks. You avoid Atsumu’s gaze when he turns his head towards you, one eyebrow raised. Asahara-san answers for you.

“Ya see, [Y/n]-chan was here when ‘Samu-chan called and I guess I heard a little bit ‘bout the situation. Forgive me for that.”

“Ah, it’s alright granny.” Atsumu shrugs a little and twists his bottle’s cap open, immediately chugging its contents down. You follow after him, just as thirsty. You don’t know why but you feel a bit awkward with Atsumu acting all nonchalant about it; as if last night wasn’t a turning point in your lives. He hums.

“I think granny already noticed but we broke up for a few months because this girl right here was bein’ an idiot. We’re okay now though,” Atsumu explains with a condescending grin directed at you after he’s downed his drink in one go. You glare at him. 

“Asahara-san, that’s not true at all! ‘Tsumu here was the one bein’ an idiot!” You immediately counter, almost choking on your own energy drink in a haste to refute Atsumu. Atsumu’s eyebrows furrow as he frowns.

“Me?! Yer the one who acted as if I had the plague or somethin’!”

“Of course I’d avoid ya! Yer the one who suggested we break up and it really hurt me ya know!”

Atsumu winces, a little upset that he apparently hurt you even though he was just as anguished during your ‘breakup’. You quickly notice that you may have hit a nerve and an apology is already on the tip of your tongue when he suddenly scoffs.

“I only suggested it because ya were actin’ cold and it seemed like yer just forcin’ yerself to be with me,” he mutters, a bit ashamed that he’s actually admitting this outloud. In front of you. And Asahara-san. Her husband within earshot. 

But he feels like he should clear this up.

You feel more apologetic, your heart melting at the tone Atsumu used, and, honestly, you yourself know you were the root cause of that whole mess to begin with. So, you immediately call him by his nickname, gently hold on to his arm, and tell him that you’re sorry and that you in fact enjoy his company very much. He just scoffs and calls you an idiot but the insult comes out fond and he nevertheless kisses your temple tenderly, implying that it’s alright through such a sweet gesture. Asahara-san giggles at the display of affection and turns to her husband.

“Dear, do ya remember when ya first broke up with me?”

The older man immediately scoffs and goes deeper into the store, seemingly hiding behind one of the shelves to avoid answering her question. Asahara-san laughs and you and Atsumu are positively intrigued with the coming story she’s about to share. She ushers you both to sit at one of the tables, a mischievous smile on her lips. It’s not as if this is the first time the old woman shared some of her (and sometimes their) anecdotes, in fact it’s one of the many reasons you hang out here a lot. Despite her age, her memory is still sharp. Each story is quite intriguing and you’ll admit that some of them kind of reminds you of your relationship with your… boyfriend.

You blush at the thought. He really is your boyfriend now. When you make eye contact with Atsumu though you can’t help but scoff at him, making him frown back at you, a little confused.

Asahara-san clasps her hands together as she smiles giddily, like a little kid excited to share a secret.

“Do ya guys know he broke up with me a week after our first kiss?”

You and Atsumu perk up, “Eh?”

“Mizuki!” The male Asahara half-shouts, apparently listening in despite being on the other side of the shop. (You think her husband’s hearing is quite good too.) Instead of stopping, the old woman just covers her ears and starts loudly humming a tune just to make a show that she isn’t listening to whatever he has to say. You watch as the old man takes a peek from behind the shelves, face fuming, but eventually sighs and lets it go. He goes back arranging some of the merchandise to keep himself busy. Asahara-san peeks from behind her shoulder, checking if he’s still there and when she confirms he isn’t, she turns back to you two with a cheeky grin.

“Yeah, that Yuji broke up with me! Just immediately went ‘bam’ out of nowhere! The audacity of him really,” Asahara-san sighs wistfully as if it’s a fond memory despite her irritated tone. 

“Why though? Did ya suck that bad at kissing, granny?” You gape in horror at Atsumu as the words leave his mouth and you feel like he just realizes what he just said too once he’s already said it. He quickly curls his lips, poorly hiding that he regrets whatever came out of his mouth. Luckily, Asahara-san just scoffs, a little offended.

“How’d he even know that? I was his first kiss! He’s got no one ta compare it ta!” She exclaims with a pout and for a brief moment, you get a glimpse of the maiden she once was, so young and lively. Even now, Asahara-san still has her silly moments and though she mellowed down through the years, there’s still this chaotic cheerfulness around her. It’s enough for you and Atsumu to exchange amused glances.

“Mizuki! Honestly!” The other Asahara-san scoffs, emerging again out of the shelves, ears red due to embarrassment. You suddenly remembered that they met during college so you guess it’s an embarrassing admittance for the old man. Though you’re not one to talk, you’re almost in college and Atsumu has yet to kiss you.

You fluster at your own thoughts.

“Tell me it ain’t true, Yuji!” 

“Yer such an idiot, honestly. I’m goin’ out for a bit if yer gonna keep this up,” he sneers but you get the feeling he isn’t that annoyed. If anything, you think he’s used to this, being married to the old lady for years. 

Asahara-san smiles fondly.

“Take care, dear. Don’t stay out too much and be sure ta bundle up, it’s still cold,” she says in a tone you’re certain is reserved only for her husband. Yuji-san’s tense shoulders suddenly droops and his gaze softens when he looks back at her despite the frown on his lips. You feel Atsumu’s fingers graze yours from underneath the table and you don’t know why but it has your heart rate spiking up. You shyly hook your pinky back with his and it isn’t that long when he finally tangles your fingers together and holds your hand. The gesture has your brain short-circuiting and you almost miss it when the old man points his finger at you both and scowls.

“Be sure ta listen ta her! If she’s so adamant in makin’ a fool outta me for ya two then ya better damn learn a lesson out of it!”

Asahara-san rolls her eyes and shoos him away. Atsumu’s shoulders tense and he yelps out a ‘Yessir!’ immediately. You follow after Atsumu when the old man turns his hard gaze to you. Once he’s satisfied in staring you both down, he looks back at Asahara-san and you could honestly see how his gaze softens in real time whenever he looks at her. Does Atsumu also look at you that way? If so, then how lucky could you be?

“Well, I’m off, dear.”

“Yes, yes, get back soon.”

It seems like Yuji-san wants to go to her to (presumably) give her a kiss but then he remembers you two are around so he just scoffs in annoyance before leaving the store. You briefly think of all the moments you and Atsumu had the fortune to interact with him and if he isn’t ranting about something, he is usually just gushing about Asahara-san and telling you both to treat her well. It has jealousy swelling up inside of you a bunch of times because never in your life could you imagine Atsumu treating you the same way the older man does with his wife.

Atsumu squeezes your hand. You feel a little pang in your chest.

How could you have ever doubted him?

“Well, now, where were we?” Asahara-san asks once she makes sure that her husband has fully left the store, “Ah yes! That idiot broke up with me just because he said he felt overwhelmed!”

Atsumu perks up, “How so?”

Asahara-san smiles, “When I confronted him ‘bout why he broke up with me all of a sudden, he said he felt scared. That he felt so happy and content that he got terrified of it.”

That got your attention. You can relate with the feeling all too well before Atsumu took matters into his own hands and told you he likes you. You look down at your intertwined hands and you sure are glad that one of you isn’t a coward. 

“Why is it somethin’ ta be scared about?” Atsumu asks, a little frustrated, and somehow, you know that he’s asking you too. You direct your gaze back to Asahara-san and instead of agreeing with Atsumu and going on a full blown rant, she just smiles, a smile so understanding no wonder the old man got scared.

It’s the terrifying ordeal of being known. 

And the fear that the other person won’t accept your feelings once they find out you’re such a mess.

“He says even though it’s his first proper relationship, he suddenly feels so sure that I’m the one he’s meant ta marry.”

“And? How’s that terrifyin’?” Atsumu insists, probably because he’s so sure of you too and he isn’t scared at all. If anything, he’s more terrified with the possibility of seeing you in the arms of another. You bite your lower lip.

“Probably because he thought Asahara-san would get overwhelmed too and reject him. He probably thought it’s better ta run away before he gets his heart broken,” you answer for her. Atsumu looks at you, somewhat relieved that he gets to hear those words from your mouth. So his guess was right. 

He knows this is a serious matter but somehow he can’t help but be happy at the fact that maybe you’re just scared of answering his offer of marriage because you think you guys won’t last at all considering you’re- what’s it called- highschool sweethearts? 

He’ll prove you wrong though. Or his name isn’t Miya, Atsumu.

Asahara-san chortles, the sound so youthful. “Correct. And there’s also the fact that I had a reputation of bein’ a heartbreaker too.”

“Eh?” You both let out a sound in unison. She pouts cutely.

“What? I used ta be such a beauty in my younger years, y’know!”

You immediately wave your free hand around, denying her accusation that you both don’t find her pretty at all to believe that she used to be a heartbreaker. “No, that’s not it! Yer still pretty even now, Asahara-san!” And you’re not even lying, Asahara-san has a certain charm to her and you wonder how breathtaking she must’ve been in her younger years.

“It’s just that yer so nice, granny, that it’s hard ta imagine ya makin’ guys cry.” Atsumu adds. 

The older woman smiles.

“I guess I was just searchin’ for the right one ta come along.”

The shop’s doors slide open and the old man announces he’s back. You didn’t think it was possible for the old woman’s smile to become brighter but it does the moment she hears his voice.

“But, what do ya know?” 

Your heart skips a beat, so overwhelmed at the face of a love so unconditional.

“He found me instead.”

***

After Asahara-san’s you both decided to get some practice in one of the parks, bickering a bit as to whose ball are you gonna use just because you can. In the end, since your house is the nearest, you eventually win and after making him wait a few minutes, you spike the ball towards him the moment you step foot within his vicinity.

“Ya remind me of grandpa,” Atsumu suddenly says as he passes the ball overhand to you despite being caught off-guard. You roll your eyes and spike the ball towards him again, Atsumu receiving it underhand just fine this time.

“I’d say ya remind me of Asahara-san but that’d be an insult to her.” The ball goes to your side again and you set it properly towards him this time. 

He frowns and spikes it towards you for a change. 

“Hey!”

***

You both don’t really announce anything to your peers but the moment they catch you going home together again, hands intertwined, they quickly get the memo and soon the news of you getting back together are once again the talk among the students of Inarizaki High.

You still don’t get how this is such a big of a deal but then the Miya twins do have some sort of idol status so knowing one of them is out of the market again must be pretty devastating. So devastating that you feel glares directed at your face the moment you step into the corridors. You sigh. It isn’t new to you and you know that the whole animosity towards you will blow over soon enough but that doesn’t stop Atsumu from sneering at girls who so much utter your name in disdain. You elbow him one time during lunch because he’s being unnecessarily mean again.

“Aren’t ya angry? They’re talkin’ shit ‘bout ya, sayin’ stuff like ya probably did somethin’ horrendous just so I’ll get back together with ya,” he says, like a child explaining his side. You smile at him and for a second, all his anger disappears.

“I thought yer someone who didn’t care what other people say?”

Atsumu gasps, scandalized with your statement, and he soon drapes an arm around your shoulder, pulling you close and sulking. Your heart flutters at the gesture but you swat him away because you’re at school. In the cafeteria. Where a lot of people can see. He scoffs but moves away, always so compliant to your wishes.

“Of course I’d care if it’s ‘bout you though.”

You nearly melt on the spot and Atsumu watches as your gaze softens, the ends of your mouth quirking up to form a fond smile, and he feels sick. He’s absolutely taken with you and he doesn’t really know what to do, too stunned to even breathe. He barely registers it on his brain when you say ‘thank you’ to him.

Atsumu feels like he only comes back to earth once lunch ends and he’s back in his homeroom, plopping down on his seat as he buries his face in his hands. He smiles.

Ah, he can’t wait to spend the rest of his life with you.

***

Parting with the third years was kind of difficult, it was just as hard as the last time, seeing as you are attached to your upperclassmen in some kind of way. At least the twins and Suna were capable of holding themselves together but you and Aoi were absolute messes, especially when your old captain ruffled your hair and told you that she’ll be watching you at the next nationals. It doesn’t help either that Kita and Aran also wished you luck, both with your new position and with Atsumu. Atsumu just complained to you what that was all about once they were gone but you noticed that his eyes and nose are a bit red in an effort not to cry. You take his face in your hands and kiss him on his forehead in an attempt to comfort him. You two ended up behind one of the cherry blossom trees, hiding from everyone’s sight as Atsumu clung to you, tears falling on your shoulder.

“Ah, I’m such a scrub. Sorry, I cry a lot when I’m with ya,” he murmured as he blew his nose on the handkerchief you handed him. You reached up to him and brushed his hair out of his face.

“Don’t apologize. Yer not a scrub for showin’ emotions, dummy.”

He nearly cried again, at your words and at how gently you’re handling him.

(Atsumu’s in love with you.)

You two spent most of your break going out on morning jogs and sometimes playing 2-on-2s with Osamu and Aoi (sometimes Suna when he’s in the mood), though Atsumu and his family went out on a 2-day vacation visit to his grandma just before the new term started. His mom actually invited you to come along but you politely declined, not really sure how to act like a proper legal girlfriend just yet and besides, you don’t think your mom would appreciate you going far-away with your boyfriend’s family.

(“Whaaat?! Ya should’ve gone!” Your mother exclaims, disappointed. You ignore her.)

And just like that, you’re in your third year.

The sound Atsumu lets out once he finds out you’re in the same homeroom again is embarrassing, cheering so loud that at least half of Inarizaki’s populace turned his way. Your and Osamu’s first instinct is to pretend you don’t know him at all which is pretty darn hard considering that Osamu is literally his twin and Atsumu doesn’t shut up about you at all in person and in his social media. 

You honestly don’t know how to feel with him being in the same homeroom despite being his classmate in your first year (though you absolutely hated his guts back then so this time is a bit different). You just hope he won’t be your seatmate again because heavens forbid, you end up breaking up for real just because you couldn’t focus in class when he’s being his distracting self. Suna and Osamu (they’re classmates again) just look at you pitifully as if sensing your thoughts and you just ignore them, not wanting to entertain their reactions, and it’s not like you need to anyway because Atsumu is already ripping them a new one. Luckily, Aoi is in the same class as you, jumping excitedly around you once she sees your name in the roster.

You sigh. You’re happy. You really are but you suspect that the fact that you’re infatuated with him will probably make things harder for you. 

But then you’ve always had a little crush with him ever since so maybe you can do this.

Yes, you can do this!

And you do.

School actually goes by everyday without a hitch and contrary to how you expected Atsumu to act, he’s pretty chill. He does get his clingy moments and there are moments where you two get so riled up with each other that it gets the whole class egging you on but aside from that, there really isn’t anything new. Sometimes he shows up in the girl’s gym with Osamu in tow when you stay back to practice more (Aoi sometimes stays back too) and it’s usually productive despite Atsumu getting so competitive whenever Osamu mentions that he likes the way you set more. In turn, you get competitive too because it’s annoying to see Atsumu try to one-up you even though Osamu’s probably just saying that to irritate him. Either way, despite the friendly fighting, it gets things done and Atsumu usually knows where to draw the line when you don’t.

Today Suna unexpectedly decides to accompany you guys as well while Aoi excused herself early because she has a family dinner she must absolutely attend. She even kissed your cheeks when she bid goodbye, already too comfortable in your friendship to be affectionate with you. That has Atsumu pouting and you suspect that’s why he’s being particularly needy this evening. When Suna calls for a break because he wants to fill his water bottle, Osamu comes along, leaving you two alone. You eye Atsumu’s bottle and somehow you feel a bit giddy about the fact that he’s using the gift you gave him. Though, you’re no better, Atsumu teasing you this morning about how the scrunchie suits you. Ah, being in love is kind of cringe-y.

While you both wait for the other two, Atsumu suddenly says that he wants to try spiking one of your sets and that has you perking up because oh, sure, it’d be an absolute honor to set for him and you kind of want feedback from the guy himself. So, you both get into position, Atsumu passing the ball to you before doing a run-up and for some reason, you think you know him well enough to set the ball how he wants it. 

The ball comes into contact with his hand and it quickly zips into the other side of the court, making a loud sound upon impact. You smile to yourself, delighted and also a bit mesmerized because of this powerhouse of a man.

“Oh, yer sets are actually really easy to hit, huh,” Atsumu says, not surprised at all, but proud all the same. That got his heart racing and he once again wants to play a 2-on-2, paired up with you this time since he never gets to do it considering you both are setters.

You drop the smile and scoff at him. “F’course. I’m not the captain and setter for nothin’.”

He grins haughtily, canines on full display, something akin to a challenge ablaze in his eyes. You suppress a shudder because you sorta like (no, you like it a lot but you’ll never admit it) when he gets like this. It’s one of the reasons why you like watching him play because he gets so intense but at the same time, he’s just like a child enjoying a day in the park.

“Wanna try spiking my set then?”

You smirk back and Atsumu thinks it’s insanely attractive and hot . Gosh, as if seeing you on the other side of the court with a conniving smile on your face whenever you fool them isn’t enough to get him hot and bothered, you just have to do this to him. He nearly looks away but looking away means losing (losing what, he doesn’t really know) and he’s extremely thankful that you say-

“Bring it.”

-before he absolutely loses his marbles.

When you turn your back to him, he eyes the scrunchie you’re wearing and delights on it once more because it somehow feels like it’s making a statement that you’re his although you both are the only ones who know that it’s from him.

It makes him happy nonetheless.

It’s the same song and dance, an action that you both have done a hundred times but when he sees you jump and seemingly freeze mid-air in such a close proximity, at the same side of the court, arm swinging in slow-motion to hit the ball he just set, he feels like he just fell in love at first sight. He only gets snapped out his trance once he hears the sound of the ball hitting the court resonate in the gym.

You land on your feet and look at him excitedly, a childish grin on your face while an excited flush invades your cheek.

“How’s that ya moron?” You ask excitedly, eager to hear what he has to say. Atsumu’s suddenly overcome with an urge to kiss you so he steps towards you, hand gently finding your wrist but before he can lean down and capture your lips in his, the moment he hears you say his name in a genuine questioning tone, he backtracks and kisses your forehead instead. 

Your hand immediately fly to touch your forehead and you gape at him, cheeks red, heart an absolute mess and you want to say something to him, anything to get yourself out of this situation but the way he looks at you so tenderly has you blanking out and for a few moments, you both are just there, your jaw slack, eyes wide, his hand gently holding your wrist, speechless. 

It’s not the first time he’s kissed you on the forehead, heck it’s his favorite spot, but it’s the moment before he did that that’s got your tongue in a twist because you really, really thought he’s going to kiss you on the lips.

But then Atsumu, for some odd reason, chickened out. He swallows, his grip on your wrist slightly tightening.

What if the same thing with Yuji-san happens to him? What if he gets so overwhelmed, gets so overwhelmingly happy that he starts feeling scared? If he’s being honest, the way he feels about you is the only thing he’s absolutely sure of in his whole 18 years of existence so what’s stopping him now? He internally berates himself for overthinking this, for thinking that being happy is something to be scared about, so he opens his mouth, a question asking for your consent on the tip of his tongue but before he can get a word out, Osamu clears his throat.

Atsumu immediately lets go of you and steps back, looking at his twin (and Suna just behind him) with a horrified look. You’re not any better, stepping back from him just as frantically, looking to and fro at the Miya twins as if you two have been caught doing something bad even though all you two were doing was literally staring at each other.

“Did we interrupt something?” Suna asks, tone a little smug despite being as stone faced as ever. He narrows his eyes at Atsumu and the bleached haired twin just scoffs. Before he can get a denial and an insult out, you yell out a strange noise to get their attention and immediately head for the bench to retrieve your own water bottle, shaking it in front of them with a nervous laugh and telling them you just remembered that it's empty too and you forgot to go with them to fill it up. 

You don’t even wait for them to respond as you practically storm out of the gym, ears a tad bit red to not be suspicious.

Once you’re out of sight, Osamu and Suna immediately look back at Atsumu, making him flinch. He sneers.

“What?! We weren’t doin’ anythin’!”

Osamu shrugs as he heads for the bench to go sit down for a bit while they wait for you, Suna following along just behind him. 

“Figures. It’s you after all.”

“What’s that supposed ta mean?!” Atsumu scowls, shoulders tense, ready to fight his way out of this one. The two exchange glances before Suna smirks at him condescendingly, obviously taunting Atsumu.

“Well, Osamu and I have been talking about it and based on what we’ve observed, you and [Y/n] haven’t kissed yet, have you?” 

Atsumu almost chokes on his own spit in a hurry to lie, “We’ve kissed a lot, mind ya!”

Osamu looks at Suna, “He’s lyin’.”

“M’not lyin’!”

“Shut up, ya compulsive liar!”

“What? You’re too scared to kiss her, huh, Atsumu?” Suna covers his mouth to presumably hide a smile and it pisses Atsumu off to all hell. He grips his hand into a fist and waves it at them, like an old man yelling at the sky.

“M’not! And yer not one ta talk, ya absolute virgins! Ya guys don’t even have girlfriends!”

Osamu and Suna cover their ears and stick their tongue out at the twin, making him more infuriated. He knows they’re just messing with him but curse the timing, he suddenly feels like he really needs to prove something just to get them both to shut up.

“Well, I understand [Y/n], imagine the shame on livin’ a life knowin’ ya kissed the lamest and scrubbiest guy alive.”

“Osamu, she’s publicly dating him already, I think [Y/n]’s past the point of caring about that.”

“Ya little shits-”

Before it can become a full on brawl amongst the three, you come back and Atsumu immediately proposes that you two pair up for the last 2-on-2 match because Osamu and Suna are -in his own words- on thin fucking ice - and you just reluctantly agree while the other two are laughing their asses off and making annoying faces at Atsumu. You figure they ganged up on Atsumu again, as the two usually do, and don’t even bother asking the reason why they got Atsumu acting up that way.

For the next few days, all Atsumu could think about is kissing you, it makes him sick.

But he never does, too ashamed of himself because he’s having those thoughts even when you’re merely looking up at him and smiling, so pretty and innocent. He feels like he’s committing a sin even though he’s literally your boyfriend and he has all rights to do that (with your consent, of course).

He ruffles his hair in annoyance, slumped in his desk as he absolutely loses his mind. The kisses he’s daydreaming about isn’t even remotely sinful, if anything he’s just imagining how soft your lips would be on his own, chaste and innocent, and it’s enough to have him blushing like he’s still 14 years old.

For some reason, he takes it as a challenge to not kiss you (only on the lips, he honestly thinks he can’t live without kissing you on the cheek or on the forehead), to restrain his urges, and before he knew it, days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and in a blink of an eye, you guys are in the bus on the way to the nationals again.

It’s not as if he could immediately snuff the desire out. When the urge gets real bad, he just settles on peppering your cheeks with kisses while he hugs you, lifting you off the ground and spinning you around for a bit, and somehow that’s enough because he gets to shower you with affection and hear you laugh while you weakly attempt to get him off of you, acting all grouchy even when the smile and blush on your face says otherwise. It’s not as if you make any attempts to kiss him either, the most he can get from you are cheek kisses too and they’re very rare, you still being a bit shy around him although you guys have already been dating for quite a while. Doesn’t make them a little less special though, if anything Atsumu cherishes those moments close to his chest and he’s honestly excited at the prospect of getting to indulge in the privilege of being loved by you for more years to come.

Aoi teases that you both missed a year while you’re setting up to take a picture as another momento and you’re reminded that you didn’t get to take one last nationals because you two were in the middle of a break up. Atsumu just scoffs and says it doesn’t matter because you’re going to have lots of future pictures taken anyway and to hurry up because you two have captain duties to attend to. 

“Ehh, that’s too bad though! Your feed would’ve been real nice if it was complete!” Aoi insists and Atsumu just pouts.

“What do ya want me ta do Aoi-chan?! We can’t time travel!”

“I mean, I’m just sayin’!” Aoi pouts back, used to Atsumu being rude since she’s around you all the time.

“Huh? What feed?” You ask, confused and out of the loop. Osamu sighs next to Aoi.

“She’s probably talkin’ ‘bout the pictures ‘Tsumu has of ya in his social media.”

You perk up.

“Eh? Ya didn’t delete them even when we broke up?”

Atsumu looks at you as if you’re ridiculous for even asking.

“No? Why would I?”

( They’re proof that something existed between us even in the instance that we didn’t work out , Atsumu thinks.)

(And he’ll hold on to them for as long as he lives.)

“Come on, I’m taking the picture already,” Suna deadpans, already out of patience. You shyly hold on to Atsumu’s hand and lean your head on his shoulder, a soft smile on your lips. Atsumu’s heart skips a beat and he feels like his whole face will split in half once he smiles towards the camera, heart full and content.

You check his feed after winning your first match and your heart aches because not only is it full of you two, there’s the occasional stolen pictures of you that you didn’t even know existed. You knew Atsumu was lame but you didn’t know he’s this lame.

There’s one stolen picture of you wearing the scrunchie he gave and his caption is something silly and stupid, you wonder how you even fell for him.

( I love her with all my butt. I would say heart, but my butt is bigger. )

“Aoi, he’s so lame. I’m so in love.” You grip your phone tighter as you smile at it like a lameass. You blame him for all of these. 

“Uh, can ya not flex yer lovin’ relationship on me? It’s rude.”

The matches go fairly smoothly for the both of you and you’re absolutely ecstatic because it’s time to give it your all because this is the last time you’d be going to the nationals. It’ll be the last competition in your highschool career and you’re the standing captain too, you feel like this is the time when you must absolutely not lose face.

Especially when the boys’ team captain is Atsumu. You feel like you’ll never forgive yourself if you see that annoying grin of his and hear that he’ll be going on ahead while you get left behind.

You admire him, he’s honestly one of your heroes when it comes to volleyball, but you feel like you’re at that point where you can confidently stand up to him and look him in the eyes as an equal and a rival.

The delight you feel once you’re aware that he was there, watching, when you scored a service ace with a jump floater serve and rack up 3 more points using a spike serve, is phenomenal and you feel like you get slightly drunk on power for a bit because of that play, calming yourself as you bury your fingernails on your palm so you won’t get too cocky. It’s fun when you’re good at something , you think to yourself, but before you got good, you went through rigorous and frustrating training too and in this moment, you’re glad that you didn’t give up. You’re glad that you were patient. You’re glad.

You watch as the ball rises in the air again as you push it with your fingertips. You watch as Aoi, your beloved ace, jumps and holds her breath, her form immaculate, and you smile. You smile as the three person block falls in front of her, their timing off, (you think you see their frustrated faces once they realize what’s happening) and her hand meets the ball, the force so strong the ball nearly melds with the court. You hear the whistle. It’s in.

You look up to the stands and smile at Atsumu, his eyes trained to you, his gaze intense.

You’re glad you got into volleyball.

You tear your eyes away from him as Aoi runs to you for a high five, cheering loudly and proudly, high on adrenaline, your other teammates running towards her too with loud boisterous cheers. You grin.

You’re glad you met such wonderful people along the way too.

***

“I’m so tired.” Atsumu yawns as he snuggles his face into his jacket, hands tucked in his pockets as you both meet outside despite the cold weather. You sigh as well, watching as a puff of smoke come out of your mouth and you pout at him. He just smiles once he sees your face and skips over to you, arms immediately opening to cage you in his embrace. You scowl but step over to accept his affections anyway, his warmth welcome around the rigid cold. You both sigh as the body heat comforts you both and you pull down the zipper of his jacket so you can slip your arms inside of it and hold him close.

“Ah, we’re getiin’ spicy? And we’re outside. Shame on ya, [Y/n].”

You roll your eyes. “Shut up before I leave ya here.”

“Ya wouldn’t do that.” He nuzzles into your hair. You draw away just to spite him and he immediately tuts at you and pulls you closer, not letting you get away. You huff as a complaint but just hugs him again which makes him chuckle.

You both just stand there, hugging each other like idiots despite knowing it’s really cold outside, as if the presence of one another is enough, and it is enough but you have some rationality left in you so you pull away a bit to look at him.

“Yer tired, right? And it’s cold, we should really be headin’ inside before we catch a cold,” you mutter. 

“Eh.”

“Don’t ‘eh’ me!”

“But I like bein’ with ya.”

“Not an excuse to act like an idiot.”

“Idiots don’t catch colds though.”

“Atsumu. I will literally pinch ya so hard you’ll cry.”

Atsumu sighs and you thought he’d already draw away and bid you goodnight but he suddenly kisses you on the forehead and you shudder. He chuckles because he felt it and you can’t do anything but scowl, whole face red, and just accept it as he slowly kisses down, to your brow, to your eyelids and then to your nose. Suddenly he stops and your lips suddenly feel a bit tingly because he glances down at it and his whole demeanor suddenly becomes shy. 

Atsumu’s at his limit but he always likes to push the limit or his name isn’t Atsumu so he just swallows, shuts his eyes tight and sighs. He better get away before he goes for it but before he can pull away, you hold him in place, and when he opens his eyes, you’re frowning as if he’s just offended you.

“Yer not gonna do it?”

This time, it’s Atsumu’s turn to feel like he’s gonna spontaneously combust.

He nearly stutters, “Do what?”

“Kiss me?”

He’s totally gonna spontaneously combust.

It’s as if it wasn’t just freezing moments earlier because he suddenly feels warm and he swears his palms are getting sweaty. His heart is in a frenzy and he worries a bit if it’s an early warning of a heart attack. 

(You’re truly bad for his heart.)

“W-what?” He asks again, unable to focus and you frown, a bit confused. You tilt your head and Atsumu watches as strands fall over your shoulders and, gosh, it shouldn’t be attractive but he’s absolutely obsessed. 

“Ya always look like yer ‘bout ta kiss me but ya never do it. Is somethin’ wrong?” You ask and Atsumu notes that your tone sounds a little unsure. He swallows again even though his throat feels dry.

So, you’re at your limit too.

“If ya don’t want ta, you don’t hafta though. I’m just sayin’-” you suddenly stumble over your words, as if just realizing what you’ve been saying for the past few minutes. You start to pull away too and Atsumu can feel your warmth leaving him. “Well, we really must be goin’ back-!”

Atsumu holds your arms and you look up at him, face just as flushed as he currently feels, your eyes wide and questioning. He takes a deep breath.

“I want ta.”

Silence.

“‘Tsumu, yer actually gonna kill me.” 

“Yer not one ta talk! I feel like I’m havin’ an heart attack right now!”

You both glare at each other but your faces immediately light up seconds after because you both laugh, the sound filling the cold winter air, young and in love. He rests his forehead against yours as the laughter dies down and you just smile at each other and you grin because he looks like an idiot and he scowls because he feels like you’re mocking him. You just giggle again and he does too, unable to resist your happiness.

He cups your cheek with one hand and murmurs for you to close your eyes and you’re about to tease him until you see the actual uncertainty and nervousness in his eyes so you just smile and do as requested, hand coming up to hold the hand on your cheek to rub soothing circles on it.

Atsumu takes a deep breath and for a moment, all he hears is his heartbeat. He’s thought about how your first kiss would go a million times and he always thinks the setting must be some kind of fairytale but now that reality is setting in, his brain is kind of blanking out, because you two are just in your team jackets and jogging pants, outside the hotel you’re both staying at, bodies sore from volleyball matches you both went through within the day.

He takes a deep breath again and you lean into his hand, eyes still closed, as patient as ever and you resist the urge to snort because he’s trembling. He’s trembling, so overwhelmed and he hasn’t even kissed you yet.

(You feel like you’re able to keep calm just because he’s freaking out. If he wasn’t, you bet that your knees would be unstable too.)

Finally, finally , Atsumu just decides to screw it and leans in, eyes tightly shut. Your lips meet for -what you suspect is- a second before he draws away, hand covering his mouth, looking flustered as all hell. You step away too, covering the lower half of your face with both hands because you’re just as frazzled as him.

(It’s soft. A little chapped but soft.)

You’re the first one to get your bearings.

“Stop makin’ this awkward! We’re datin’, aren’t we?!”

“Give me a break! Yer my first kiss!”

“Yer my first kiss too, dumbass!”

Atsumu groans and crouches in front of you, face in his hands as he tries to process the way your lips felt on his even if only for a second. He can’t believe he just did that. He can’t believe he finally did that! After almost 3 years of dating, he’s finally kissed you on the lips!

Talk about lame!

You just watch him have a meltdown as you try your best to also calm down, hand on your chest as if that would help.

After a few moments, he looks up at you and you almost melt because he’s looking at you again as if you’re the entire world in the form of a person. He’s so open about being disgustingly in love, you’re starting to worry that he’s starting to notice you’re the same as well.

“Um,” he starts and swallows, suddenly avoiding your gaze, “Can we do it again?”

You snort and step near him again, also crouching so you can meet him eye to eye. You smile shyly and Atsumu revels at the way you blush.

Atsumu’s so overwhelmingly happy. He’s so happy and he briefly wonders if this is what Yuji-san felt when he first kissed granny. He suspects he’s feeling more than that old man because he doesn’t feel scared at all. If anything, Atsumu thinks this is just right. He thinks he was born for this, born and placed in this earth to love you, to stand beside you as you both wade through the storm that is life, to watch each other as you both pursue your passions.

“Just kiss me as ya like, dummy.”

Atsumu takes one of your hands and intertwines it with his own before leaning in once again and capturing your lips on his, properly this time.

He thinks he was born for this, to kiss you like this, to make you his soulmate like this.

He wasn’t looking for the right one to come along but he still found you.

(It’s soft. A little chapped but soft.)

You rest your forehead against his as you both sigh, having stolen each other’s breath.

You smile and he feels warm.

“Let’s do our best tomorrow too, ‘Tsumu.”

Chapter Text

Loving you feels like the most natural thing in the world.

Atsumu had that thought after saying goodbye that night, the snow starting to gently fall to the ground, as gentle as the way your lips shyly met his again, so soft and tender and loving that he can’t help but quickly look away just so you won’t see him tear up at how glad he is that he’s able to experience such happiness because of you.

It was freezing. He remembers it was freezing and it sort of worried him because he felt so feverish he thought he caught a cold. That wouldn’t do. He still had to play two matches the next day and he couldn't afford to fall the way Hinata, Shoyo did last year. You and Osamu would also never let him hear the end of it. But, he was warm, from where your hand held his, to his chest, to his nape, to the tip of his ears, to his lips.

You were warm.

(You were warm too after he gave you a hug when you lost the match for the semi-finals but instead of crying like he expected, you just smiled at him and asked him if you were cool until the end.)

(He said yes. Of course, he’d say yes.)

Loving you feels like the most natural thing in the world.

Everything just all quickly falls into place, without any effort, his chest blooming in delight, his stomach full of butterflies, just from simply seeing you smile. He honestly sometimes thinks he’s been bewitched because his affection for you gets so stupidly ridiculous sometimes that even he gets worried. It’s the way he can just watch you all day, drinking everything you are, soaking your presence like tiny rays of sunshine, his cheek hurting because he can’t stop smiling, delighting on the way his name falls safely and delicately from the tip of your tongue.

(Loving you feels like the most natural thing in the world.)

Atsumu tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear and he revels in the way a light blush dusts your cheeks as you glare at him weakly. He’ll never get tired of it and he hopes you never stop reacting this way too, never stop feeling butterflies when his skin touches yours, never stop shying away when the way he gazes at you gets overwhelming, never stop being giddy at his stupid behavior because he causes you the same happiness as you do to him.

Osamu claps him on the back of the head, snapping him out of his trance, and Atsumu’s first instinct is to curse at his twin, colorful words immediately leaving his lips. He quickly snaps his mouth shut once he sees his mother just beside Osamu threateningly widen her eyes at him and he can’t help but blush when he hears your mother laugh loudly just beside you.

“Atsumu-kun, look at the camera, the camera! [Y/n] won’t go anywhere~ Let’s take this picture quickly so you can flirt to yer heart’s content after~” Your mother teases, even nudging you slightly and you and your father quickly reprimand her quietly, embarrassed. Atsumu almost chokes on his own spit. It seems Mrs. Miya didn’t mind at all though because she laughs too and even motions to your mother.

“Well, I can’t blame ‘Tsumu at all, [Y/n] is too pretty.” Atsumu can’t even react because it’s true. You blush and mutter a thank-you. All he can do is bite the inside of his cheek as he makes eye contact with Suna, the designated photographer who’s been (kind of) forced into his role by the two older women. Suna just narrows his eyes at him and Atsumu can feel his twin leaning to his side a bit (to presumably catch Suna’s attention) and make funny faces. Atsumu just scoffs, muttering that Osamu’s being childish, but if Mrs. [Surname] wasn’t there, he’d totally join in too.

“Oh please! Yer sons are so handsome too! My daughter’s just a tsundere but she’s head over heels in love with Atsu-” “Mum!” You hiss in embarrassment again, eager to get this over with and get away from being teased. Atsumu can’t help but smirk at you and you just roll your eyes at him, making him chuckle over how cute you are. 

The moms are about to tease you guys more until your dad points out that they’re inconveniencing Suna and that you all should pose for the picture already. That got the two of them shutting up immediately and apologizing sweetly to the middle blocker, having a soft spot for the man. Suna just chuckles and tells them it’s alright, having a soft spot for them too because they always dote on him whenever he comes over (Suna and Osamu came over to your house one time due to a project), before pointing the camera at you guys and counting down, Aoi just beside him with a huge grin on her face as if she’s having her picture taken as well.

“Congratulations ta the graduates!”

Well, it’s safe to assume that your relationship is approved by your respective families considering your parents are bonding so well during graduation. 

When none of them are looking your way, Atsumu immediately takes your hand and puts something small and round on your palm, letting your fingers close over it as you look at him in confusion. He just grins at you, excited, and for some reason, you can’t help but suppress the urge to laugh because you immediately get a hunch as to what it is.

You open your palm and there’s a button. You crack a smile.

You look at his blazer and the second button is missing.

You burst out laughing and he quickly grabs the top of your head in a claw, red tainting his cheeks because he immediately got the sense that you’re mocking him. He scowls, offended.

“Why’re ya laughin’, ya scrub?!”

You cover your mouth, not even bothering shaking free from his grip (not like it hurts despite how it looks), and just laugh quietly into your hands, your shoulders trembling from the sheer joy you're trying to contain inside your body. Atsumu presses his hand down further, adding weight but you don’t resist, just dying from your quiet laughter until he’s forced to let go and step back.

“What’s so funny, huh?!” He asks again, face red from humiliation. You laugh a little more, a little loudly, finally letting your voice out just like your outburst earlier and the sound is so pretty, it makes Atsumu a little dizzy. He swears, there’s some sort of enchantment in you, some sort of magic that bound his heart and took hold of it without any intentions to let it go. He just watches carefully as you tilt your head while you wipe tears from your eyes, face still alight because you’re still laughing a little, and thinks of how lucky he is that he gets to drink in such a sight. 

(How lucky he is that he has the privilege to be yours.)

You clutch the button close to your chest and smile brightly at him, working your magic on him once again, and he lets it sink its claws further into his heart.

“Yer such an idiot,” you say with a bit of a laugh, your eyes twinkling- and oh, how he would give everything to have himself reflected on those eyes for as long as he lives - “I’ll take good care of this, I promise.”

(The second button is the closest to the heart.)

He thinks the button thing’s really lame and people are hardly doing it anymore but, for some reason (maybe it’s because love makes you do lame stuff), he thought you’d like it. So he really went and did it. Some part of him kind of knew you’d laugh at him and call him lame but he thought to himself, no matter the reaction he receives, whether it be laughter or you being soft, he wins. Also, (as previously stated, it’s really lame) he kind of thought that it’s sort of a gesture where he figuratively gives you a piece of his heart.

(You clutch it close to your chest and Atsumu thinks you’re bringing a piece of his heart close to yours.)

His eyes land on your lips because he wants nothing but to kiss you right now, to pour all of his love because he feels like he’s about to explode. He resists the urge though because he’s aware that your families are still around and are for sure watching you two closely so they can have material to tease you with later. 

As he’s too busy reeling himself in, he doesn’t notice you pluck your second button too from your blazer. He only snaps back to reality once he feels your cold hand forcibly opening his hand and putting the button on his palm. You smile up at him.

“Here. A piece of my heart too. Take care of it, ‘kay?”

Atsumu closes his hand hard, as if the button will disappear if he doesn’t hold on to it tightly. He bites his lower lip and he’s so close to kissing you, so, so close, but he knows it’ll be a pain to deal with his mom squealing about the gesture later so he settles on a question instead.

“Will ya marry me?”

You stare at him wide-eyed and you must think he’s joking, that this is the same as when he first proposed it, but he wasn’t joking then and he isn’t joking now. He is genuinely asking you. Forget about the ring, he’ll get you one later, he just needs to know if you’ll be up to it.

Unlike the first time though where you ignored him altogether, you pout and lightly smack him on the cheek.

“I’ll think ‘bout it.”

(He clutches your button close to his chest. He’ll take care of it like his life depended on it.)

That’s enough for now.

***

Your universities are going to be quite far from each other so you briefly discuss how you two will handle the long distance situation. You get scared a little about the prospect, that maybe it’s better to break up since Atsumu is quite clingy. You worry that maybe he’ll get upset about not having you by his side to cling to whenever he wants so he’ll look for someone else instead. He just scoffs at you and calls you an ‘idiot’ for thinking too low of him. 

“Yer underestimating me, huh?! What, ya breakin’ up with me cause maybe you’ll meet someone new in a new place, hm?” He grabs your cheeks and squeezes, delighting in the way your lips form a pout. You glare at him but don’t bother swatting his hand away. You just talk through it.

“Maybe you’ll meet someone new and leave me, duh!”

“And I said!” He brings his face close to yours without letting go and you blush a little at the proximity. For some reason, that gets Atsumu flustered too but he holds his ground. “Yer an idiot for thinkin’ that. Ever since I saw ya, yer literally all I think about so don’t worry ‘bout that.”

You furrow your eyebrows, not entirely convinced, and this time, there isn’t anyone to worry about so he leans in and kisses you softly, just a peck, but that has his heart acting up and your lips tingling all the same. 

(It’s soft. A little chapped but soft.)

“If I miss ya too much then I’ll just go ta ya,” he murmurs shyly.

You huff, “It’ll be a few hours and university will be busy, y’know.”

Atsumu rolls his eyes. “I’ll find a way somehow. If I want ta do somethin’, I’ll do everythin’ in my power ta make it possible. And that kinda stuff usually involves you, so...” He trails off before sticking his tongue out and finally letting go of your cheeks.

Your expression softens, overwhelmed and in love. Atsumu’s heart skips a beat. He clears his throat.

“Anyways, bottom line is, we’re not breakin’ up. I won’t let it happen again.”

Your lip quivers because he said it so seriously and softly that it squeezes your heart in just the right way. Dammit, Atsumu! Before you burst into tears, you distract yourself with the shelves in front of you and grab a bottle of purple shampoo, chucking it on the basket Atsumu’s holding. He looks at you in confusion and you stick your tongue out back at him.

“Fix yer piss hair before ya go to college, I don’t want anyone makin’ fun of ya just because of it.” 

Atsumu gasps, scandalized, before brushing his hair back, showing you how soft it is and, yes, it is soft (you play with it sometimes), but the color’s ugly. You just raise an eyebrow at him in challenge and he scoffs in disbelief. Despite his hair being piss colored, Atsumu still finds a way to make it look good though, but you think he can do much better. You watch him go on a rant about what his hair did to you for you to hate it so much, that it’s good the way it is, that he’ll try the shampoo out and asks if he should get a haircut too. Even when his eyebrows are all furrowed, his mouth in a scowl, you admire how handsome he is.

Well, he’s always been a looker. Honestly, you can spend an entire day just looking at his face and you wouldn’t get tired of it. You feel like he’s the type that gets more and more handsome the longer you look at him (not that you’ll admit it to the guy) and, you can stare at him all day, you really can, it’s just that Atsumu acts so cocky about it, smirking at you as if he’s caught you doing something you shouldn’t be doing whenever he notices you being mesmerized by his face.

Just as he’s doing now.

“Oooh~? Even if my hair is piss colored, I still managed to catch [Y/n]’s heart, huh?”

You roll your eyes at his quip before ignoring it. “A haircut would be nice but I think it’d suit ya more if you just styled it, y’know?”

“Huh? Really? How? What’d ya think will look good?” Atsumu immediately asks, eager for your input, and you just snort at his enthusiasm because despite all his talk, he always listens to you. You sometimes think he gives you too much power over him but you guess it’s just his way of showing his devotion to you. Atsumu’s actually the sweetest, past all of his dumbassery, and you sometimes get upset because you think you can’t reciprocate his energy because you’re not a showy person to begin with.

Not like Atsumu had ever made you feel that what you’re giving him isn’t enough. You’re always enough. Heck, he even thinks you’re so much more.

“I really liked it when ya styled yer hair during our first anniversary. Though maybe it can use a bit more spikes?” You offer and Atsumu immediately nods. You giggle at him because you don’t think much of what you’ve said at all, don’t really mind if he just ignores your suggestion, but he’s so serious about it that it’s endearing. His eyebrows furrows again and he opens his mouth to probably ask you what you’re laughing at again but you beat him to it, telling him-

“If I miss ya too much too, maybe I’ll go and visit ya.”

Atsumu’s face immediately relaxes, his eyebrows raising in surprise, and he stares at you, a bit dumbfounded. You just awkwardly smile at him before turning your attention back on the shelves, finally resuming your grocery shopping because you two spend so much time dilly-dallying that it’s concerning sometimes.

Just as you’re putting new things in the basket, Atsumu stops your hand just to catch your attention.

“Ya promise?” He asks, finally recovering from your previous statement. He’s like a child. 

You smile.

“I promise. Ya promise too?”

Atsumu grins before holding his pinky out. You hesitantly hold your pinky up too because you’re shy but the moment it grazes his, he immediately hooks it with yours and shakes on it.

“I promise."

(Loving you feels like the most natural thing in the world.)

Parting is a sad thing. Atsumu’s literally been with you for the past three years and the times when you were separated because of some issue you guys refused to face were already bad enough for him, imagine how excruciating it would be now that the thing keeping you guys apart is actual distance. Though he guesses he can always call you but it’s just not the same as seeing your face in the early hours of the morning when you guys meet up for a jog, the sun illuminating your face like a goddess, your skin flushed with exhaustion as you smile and tell him he’s a dummy. It won’t be the same without your hand holding his as you walk home, the sound of your laugh ringing in his ear like a favorite symphony he would be willing to listen to thousand of times. It won’t be the same without your warmth as you guys lay down on the ground, underneath the night sky, pointing at unassuming stars and talking about your hopes and dreams and everything in between. It won’t be the same without your goodbye kiss as you stand on the porch of your house, your lips soft, a little chapped but soft, while whispers of sweet-nothings are being passed just in between your brushing lips before your hand begrudgingly slips away from his gentle hold so you can go inside. It won’t be the same-

(It won’t be the same without you .)

When it’s time to go, surprisingly, Atsumu’s the one who holds himself together, comforting you with his embrace and telling you reassuring words as you cry and tell him how much you love him, how much you’ll miss him, how much you’re going to kill him if he ever cheats on you. He laughs at that because how could he? How could he even think of looking another’s way when he’s got the love of his life in his arms, crying because she’ll miss him? Him. Miya, Atsumu. A dumpster fire of a human being. 

How could he even think about hurting an angel like you, someone who makes him happy just by existing, one who eases all his agitations and exhaustion just by a simple touch, one who can make him feel warm and… home .

How could he even think about hurting the person he considers home ?

“If ya ever cheat on me too, I would never forgive ya.” Atsumu wipes the tears from your eyes and you just scowl.

“As if. I love ya, I would never do that.”

Atsumu closes his eyes and snorts.

(I love you too.)

Once he’s left alone in the vehicle with Osamu as they make their way to their new apartment, Atsumu finally completely breaks down. Osamu doesn’t say anything as his twin brother sobs pathetically in his hands because it’s finally sinking in that you’ll be far away from him, that he’ll have to settle with not seeing you in person for months, that the only way he can see you and hear your voice is through a screen. He misses you already. Misses your warmth. Miss your laugh. Miss the way your eyes crinkle on its end when you smile genuinely. Miss home.

“Ya alright?” Osamu asks once Atsumu kind of gets the sniffling under control. He just groans.

“M’fine.”

Osamu steals a glance before comfortingly patting him on the back.

“Yer so lame,” Osamu says minutes later once he senses that Atsumu has calmed down.

“Shut up.”

It’s tough at first, having to adjust to a new environment, to new people, to a new lifestyle. It’s hard to juggle one’s time too, considering you two decided to join your college’s volleyball team and more often than not, both of you are burned out already in the evening and all you can do is exchange brief messages before you both get knocked out due to exhaustion. Days pass by in a blur and you get the feeling that you and Atsumu are sort of neglecting your relationship, you more so because Atsumu never fails to message you throughout the day, whether it be an interaction he found funny or by reminding you to have lunch. You try your best to respond to his messages, you  really do, but sometimes it slips your mind and then you start to feel bad.

During one of your water breaks, an insecure thought creeps in your mind again. You feel like you usually get those thoughts under control because you’re secured in yourself, know you’re a wonderful person in your own right, but there’s a little part of you that's sort of convinced that Atsumu’s too good for you. That it’s unfair to keep him tied down when there probably is a better person suited for him that will make him happier than you could ever do, but you thankfully shake the thoughts off before it eats you up because instead of whining about how he deserves so much more, you should just exert more effort to give him what you think he deserves.

You call him that night and tell him what went through your day. The laughter he meets you with is absolutely warm and he tells you what went through his day too, an excited grin on his face as he reenacts the way his teammate blocked a certain spike, and you’re happy. You truly are. Because despite the distance, even through the screen, even if you can’t touch him, even if you can’t feel his skin on yours, he still manages to make you feel warm and content. 

(“Are ya cryin’, [Y/n]?”

“M’not.”

“Liar.”)

Despite promising each other, you guys rarely get the chance to visit each other, too busy and miserable to do so even if Atsumu misses you so terribly, it’s starting to get insane. Even the brief breaks your university gives you isn’t even enough to get his fill of you. He rants about the long distance situation everyday, with Osamu nonetheless, and he rants about it so much that sometimes, when Osamu can feel like the daily rant is coming, he plugs on ear plugs right away, already tired of listening to him blabber on.

There’s the way he often gets invited on gōkons too even when he says he’s already got a girlfriend and it’s irritating, it really is, because the guys who invite him even imply that you wouldn’t know anyway if he goes and he can just drink and eat and not talk to girls if he really isn't interested. Bitch. He’s honestly so close to socking some guys in the face. Even if those options are available, there’s no way in hell he would go. Just thinking about you going on one of those boils his blood something fierce, imagine your reaction if Osamu told on him. It’ll be hell on earth for sure.

(“Hey, never go on gōkons or I’ll cry.” That’s the first thing Atsumu says when he suddenly calls you one afternoon. 

“...Why? Did ya go on one?”

“Hell naw!”)

Atsumu snaps one time though when one of the guys who are a tad bit desperate promises the other party that Atsumu will be coming and that he should do this favor for him because he doesn’t wanna lose face. Atsumu originally is just going to ignore, as he always does, but the guy says something that made him see red.

“Psh, bet yer girlfriend wouldn’t mind. I can’t imagine someone datin’ ya besides for a fuck. Hey, how long have ya been toge-” Atsumu didn’t even let the guy finish what he’s saying before he throws a punch because how dare he say that about you. Who is he to decide what you would and wouldn’t like? Who is he to say your reasons for dating him, for choosing him? Who is he?

Needless to say, he gets a warning after the brawl. Atsumu doesn’t even give a shit.

As he’s laying down on the bed, face all bandaged up, Osamu tells him he’s been too cranky lately. Atsumu just ignores him. Osamu sighs and just lets it go then.

After a few moments, Atsumu murmurs, “I’m homesick.”

Osamu glances at him before chuckling, shaking his head at his brother because despite being twins, the dark haired twin couldn’t possibly imagine what Atsumu’s feeling. Just like when Atsumu cried in that car after saying goodbye to you, Osamu doesn’t know how heavy it is so who is he to judge, he guesses.

“Then go home.”

Atsumu looks at him and he stares back, having some sort of quiet conversation in between them. Not long after, Atsumu purses his lips before sitting up and reaching for his phone, your number on speed dial. You answer a few moments later.

“Are ya goin’ out later?” He asks immediately. You answer and he smiles. “I’ll be goin’ home then.”

You sputter on the other side, taken aback, but Atsumu doesn’t let you get a word in because he’s already hanging up and putting his coat on, mumbling his goodbyes to Osamu. Osamu just watches him fumble through his shoes as he hurriedly tries to exit their apartment, some sort of light in his eyes. He chuckles. 

“Home, huh…”

Atsumu takes the last train towards your prefecture and he knows he’ll be there after a few hours but it feels like forever. He reads your take care message, already aware of what he’s about to do, and he snorts to himself because you’re so cute and he’s excited to see your face. Excited for you to smile at him, to pout, to get angry, to cry. Anything. Just as long as it’s you. Just as long as he’s home.

He looks out the window, watching the lights of the city blur. He doesn’t believe much in destiny. But, was it destiny when you first made eye contact during that training camp? Maybe. It wasn’t destiny though when he decided to always approach you with something stupid ready in his mouth just so you would pay attention to him. It wasn’t destiny whenever he decided to act upon his feelings just so you would smile his way. It wasn’t destiny at all when he began to feel something much more deeper than a highschool crush towards you.

Though, what does he know? He’s just a speck in this universe. You’re one too. Sure, there are gods watching over this earth and maybe they’re responsible for every single thing that’s happening in one’s life and, maybe, Atsumu isn’t in control after all but he’s glad. He’s glad he’s found you, either by divine intervention or by his own stubbornness and decisions.

Your warmth when you greet him in your doorway is something he will remember for the rest of his life.

(Soulmates are made and he’s made you his.)

You aren’t even wearing anything remotely special, you’re just in your loose t-shirt and some pajamas, but it’s enough to take his breath away. Moreso when you suddenly kiss him on the lips after embracing him, a fond smile on your lips.

“Welcome home.”

Atsumu nearly cries, resting his forehead on yours, and he’s home. He’s home. Home is wherever he’s with you.

“I’m home.”

You immediately fuss over his face once you realize he’s kind of banged up, ushering him inside your quaint apartment, and it isn’t the first time he’s been here but he still gets very nervous every time. Being alone in the same room as you. Even though you both have done the deed for the first time already during your second year in college, he still feels like a virgin teenager who’s entering a girl’s room for the first time. You laugh at him and he thinks that he misses you. So much. He immediately drapes his arms around you and you nuzzle your cheek on his chest.

“What happened?” You ask, concerned, and he almost regrets not being skilled enough to dodge all of that guy’s blows. He kisses the crown of your head and apologizes and he’s expecting the whole interaction to be delicate but you suddenly snort and push him playfully, asking if he lost that’s why he came here to sulk. His eyes widen in disbelief and he immediately scowls, bragging about how he obliterated the guy after he indirectly insulted your whole relationship and you just smile at him, gaze fond and tell him he’s an idiot for getting pissed at that.

He takes your hand in his, never breaking eye contact. He purses his lips and drinks all of you in, and before you both knew it, your lips were melding onto each other, bodies pressed flush against another, your limbs tangling underneath the sheets, exchanging cries and laughter in between breaths and Atsumu thinks he’s never loved one like you. 

And he’ll never love anyone but you.

(Loving you feels like the most natural thing in the world.)

Atsumu likes that your window is next to your bed because he gets to watch the sun rays sip in between the blinds and hit your body just right, painting it in golden light. He gently brushes a strand of hair out of your face, his fingers brushing your cheek, and he just listens to the way you breathe, so steady and quiet and beautiful. He feels overwhelmed because how come he loves you so much? How come when you slowly open your eyes, sleep still heavy on your eyelids, he sees the universe in it, and he’s so thankful, so thankful that he gets to hold the world in his arms, to cage happiness in his chest, the warmth spreading even to the skin of his fingertips.

“‘Tsumu, don’t ya think we’re settlin’ on each other too fast?” You ask after a few moments, voice a bit croaky because you just woke up. Even that little detail creates serotonin in him. He raises an eyebrow at your question though and you close your eyes.

“We were young when we started datin’ and, as romantic as highschool sweethearts sound, don’t ya think we’re bound to meet more people from now on?”

Atsumu snuggles closer to you, brushing his nose with yours, and you giggle. He smiles fondly, heart full because you’re really something to see.

“What do ya mean?”

You slowly open your eyes again and smile bittersweetly at him. It makes something in his chest ache.

“I’m just sayin’ what if we haven’t met our soulmates yet?” You ask and Atsumu snorts. He lifts a hand to hold your cheek and brush the circles under your eyes with his thumb and you’re beautiful, you’re so beautiful, he kisses you gently, as gently as the way snow fell onto the ground the night you both kissed in Tokyo.

“I’ve already met mine though?” He says with a cheeky grin. Your lip quivers as your hand comes up to hold his arm, leaning your head into his touch, and he’s warm. So terrifyingly warm and safe and everything you could ever ask for.

“I think I’ve already met mine too,” you whisper, as if you’re telling him a secret, and he kisses you again, more passionately this time, pouring everything he feels to you until you both are out of breath.

(Soulmates are made and you made him yours.)

He rests his forehead on yours, both of your cheeks flushed, and he’s kinda embarrassed about the fact that your lips are wet from his affections so he averts his gaze and you snort, already used to him acting dorky after doing something kind of dirty.

“Aww, widdle ‘Tsumu’s actin’ like it’s his first kiss again?”

“Shut up!” He scowls and then kisses your cheeks aggressively, making you laugh and push him away in an effort to run away. Unfortunately, despite your body being muscular because of volleyball, Atsumu’s still heavier than you and he crushes you under his weight, making you yelp and then groan because you can’t breathe.

“Hey, [Y/n], marry me?” He asks for the third time in his life once he lies down on your side again, watching you catch your breath and you don’t even act surprised, don’t even bat an eyelash, even though it’s been years since he asked last. 

You just... smile .

“Okay.”

Atsumu’s eyes widen and he opens his mouth, every word he knows catching on his throat, and he swears he feels like he can't breathe. He doesn’t know what to do with himself and you just grin at him, turning on your side too, watching him lose his mind, and it isn’t long before he’s sitting up, almost falling onto his face because his legs get trapped on the blankets as he runs towards his discarded clothes on the floor. You sit up too, watching him retrieve something in the pockets of his coat and your eyes widen once you see what’s on his hand. He runs back to you on the bed and opens the small box containing a promise ring.

You immediately burst into tears and he laughs, his childish laugh echoing on the walls of your small room and you’re loved, you truly are, as he kisses your ring finger and slip the small piece of jewelry onto it, as he kisses every single tear falling on your cheek, as he tells you he loves you and he’s so glad he’s found you, so glad that you chose him, so glad that you’re in his arms, so glad, so so glad.

(“Dummy. Do ya always carry this with ya?” You ask as you admire the ring on your hand. Atsumu’s so pleased at himself about it being a perfect fit.

“Only when I’m about ta meet with ya.”)

The real engagement ring comes years later and it’s like the first time all over again, your breath catching on your throat, Atsumu revelling at the way you cry tears of happiness, another affirmation that yes, you’ll marry him , leaving your lips and you’re loved, you’re loved, and you love him so dearly back.

(Loving him feels like the most natural thing in the world.)

You come back to Hyogo to tell your family and friends and it’s something to celebrate for sure as most of them are witness to the way you both fumbled with each other’s feelings when you first started dating. Even Asahara-san is delighted, her husband telling her to take it easy and to control her emotions so she doesn’t push herself as she’s sat on the hospital bed. She just shushes him, indignant as ever, and you and Atsumu laugh, happy that she hasn’t really changed despite her body being a little weaker than it used to be. She gushes about the ring, praising Atsumu for his taste and telling you that it suits you so much that it makes her so happy. She proceeds to show her wedding ring too and she laughs as her husband gets flustered with the praises she throws his way. Moments later, you catch them discreetly holding hands on the other side of the bed and you feel warm because for some reason, for some unknown reason, you’re so sure that you’ll experience a love so grand as theirs with Atsumu by your side.

(How lucky you are that you have the privilege to be his.)

“Come ta the wedding, ‘kay, granny and grandpa?” Atsumu asks as you feel him hold onto your hand too and squeezes, his hand a bit calloused and rough but it’s warm. Just as warm as when you first held hands with him, and you just… know . Even if your relationship is imperfect, even if you and Atsumu still fight frequently about the silliest of things, even when there’s so much more in store for the both of you, you just know that you’ll get through it together, hands intertwined, smiles on your faces and teasing each other at how you two are being idiots.

“F’course, we’ll be there. Heck, I’ll be even there ta babysit yer kids!” Asahara-san chortles and you flush. Atsumu just gives a thumbs up though and you hit him in the chest, making Yuji-san laugh this time.

You bid goodbyes later when Yuji-san basically flat-out kicks you out, saying that the old woman needs her rest. Despite Asahara-san’s protests, you and Atsumu kind of agree so you two set out, just happy that you get to visit the old couple who were a huge part of your highschool life. You promise that you’ll come back just before you leave Hyogo again and Atsumu would bring some onigiris from Miya Onigiri when the time comes too.

“They don’t have children, do they?” You ask once you’re in the car, buckling yourself in. Atsumu hums as he buckles himself in too.

“Don’t think so.”

“Children, huh…”

“Why? Do ya want one already?”

You just scoff at him, a dust of pink on your cheeks, and Atsumu snickers to himself, making you hit him in the arm. You roll your eyes and Atsumu apologizes, still laughing a bit.

“Yeah, I know. It’ll be for later, we both still play in teams after all and yer aiming for the national team, right? We wouldn’t have time ta care for them,” he says as he starts the engine and the same feeling of dread once you learned that he got his license and will be driving you around settles on your stomach once again, making Atsumu scowl at you, offended, because even if you don’t say anything, the guy seems to know what you’re thinking. This time, it’s your turn to laugh and he just scoffs, muttering to himself about how you should trust him more. It’s not like he’s terrible at driving, it’s just… really weird for Atsumu.

“I can sense ya thinkin’ bad thoughts ‘bout me, [Y/n]. I swear-”

“Gosh, we hang out together way too much, I think we need a break. Stop readin’ my mind.”

Atsumu just ignores you with a pout and you snort, looking out the car window, watching the buildings pass by and you think you’re where you’re meant to be, right beside Atsumu with a ring on your ring finger. There’s still so much more for you two, in your personal life, in your careers, both an unfinished canvas with so much left to learn but you think it’s alright. Because you’ll get to experience everything life throws your way with each other and would be able to grow together.

“I wish our kids would have yer smile.” 

Atsumu glances at you, a bit surprised, and he sees the way your ears get red. He smiles, one hand gripping the steering wheel hard while the other reaches over to touch your left hand, fingers then moving to play with your ring. You keep your gaze out of the car, embarrassed, but you hold his hand back, and he thinks it’s a bit cold. A bit calloused and cold but it’s soft and tender, hands that never fail to illicit nothing but affection from him.

“Well, I wish they’d have your eyes.”

You finally look at him and he smiles, so genuine and carefree, and you really wish in the distant future that both your hopes and dreams would come true. Even if it doesn’t, just as long as he’s by your side, you think it’d be alright. 

(Loving him feels like the most natural thing in the world.)

As natural as every breath you take, as natural as waking up in the morning, as natural as saying your vows and promising each other a love so true until death do you part, as natural as falling into each other’s arms, as natural as laughing together until your lungs feel like they’re giving out, as natural as kissing until you feel like the world’s spinning, as natural as being intoxicated by his presence, as natural as-

You watch beside Osamu as Atsumu’s team scores another one out of the Adlers again and you laugh, chest full of pride, as he and his teammates act silly again, cheering themselves on like the dorks they are. You think Atsumu fits just fine and it honestly makes you feel warm at how much he looks like he’s enjoying himself. He looks your way again and winks and you roll your eyes, Osamu making gagging noises because he saw it too. Atsumu gives him the finger and the other twin just laughs, suddenly telling you that Atsumu was just whining to him the other day about a new serve he’s been practicing. You laugh despite knowing and you feel satisfied too because he’s finally able to pull it off. You watch your husband, just as aggressive as he was during his highschool years, and you think, with all your heart, that you’ll never love anyone but him.

Loving each other feels like the most natural thing in the world.

It’s the way that despite being apart from each other and rarely meeting because of your jobs, you guys still manage to slip in little messages for each other, still manage to slip in I-love-yous , still giggling to yourselves upon every message because you feel just as in love as you were during highschool. It feels like the honeymoon phase will never end and even if it does, Atsumu would never let you go. Would never lose the second button you gave him, keeping it somewhere safe in his drawers, would never let your heart shatter, keeping it safe in his hands, so delicate and precious, would never make you feel any less special because you are the world and more to him. Even if you’ve been married for years, he still thinks of you first whenever something exciting happens and he can’t wait to tell someone. He still feels like all his exhaustion dissipates when he hears your voice, still feels like he’s gazing at an angel whenever he sees your smiling face, still would drop anything not too important just to get a chance to be in your embrace. He once attended a celebratory party after winning to the Adlers but once he knew that you would be arriving in the same city that night, he immediately bounced (even if you told him not to) just because he misses you. 

You still welcomed him into your arms nonetheless, even if you bickered with him for a bit, but he knows you’re just as happy as he was because you got to see each other again. You felt warm to embrace, like a blanket being draped into his shoulders, and he just felt like he was meant to be in there.

( You still feel like home. )

“I’m home,” he mutters to himself as he trudges towards the living room, dropping all his stuff on the floor near the sofa as he plops onto it. He sighs. He’s so tired from the commute, his shoulders and neck all stiff. He stretches for a bit, letting his limbs rest on the sofa and peers at what’s on the tv. 

It’s a recording of Japan's women’s volleyball match.

He snorts as he watches the ball bounce in between two teams, the rally intense, until the ace, Amanai, Kanoka finally puts an end to it with an intense spike. The camera zooms to her, face serious but there’s a ghost of a smile on her lips. Someone then comes up to give her a high five and she reciprocates, finally smiling cheerfully. Atsumu narrows his eyes at that woman as the camera follows her, the ball being tossed to her because it’s her turn to serve again.

Atsumu thinks about how your lives are so intertwined now, now that you two are married, giving pieces of each other to one another every day, chipping away until you guys become two parts of a whole. It shouldn’t be anything new to Atsumu, he’s literally a twin, but he knows this bond with you is most special because you built this together. It’s not something that the universe decided, it was up to you two. You two who decided to build each other up by giving parts of oneself to make something beautiful.

You two are individuals who are amazing on your own right but even so, every little victory you have feels like his as well, even if a bit, and he’s sure that you feel the same as well. Happiness, sadness, anger, everything. It’s shared between two people who promised they’d be there for each other as long as they’re able to.

The camera angle then changes so the back of the woman who’s serving gets shown and at the same time, someone hugs Atsumu from behind, kissing him on the side of his head as a greeting.

“Did ya put this on so ya can gloat ‘bout how yer not benched like me?” Atsumu asks, full of sarcasm and you just scoff at him before biting him on his cheek. He swats you away with a curse and you laugh, sticking your tongue out at him as you lean over the headrest of the sofa.

His eyes return to the tv screen and his heart skips a beat because it still feels so surreal to see. Even if you’ve been married for a few years already, it still makes him a bit giddy whenever he encounters physical proof that you now share this with him too.

The camera shows the word ‘MIYA’ printed on the back of your uniform.

His gaze returns to you and you smile, making him feel all sorts of things again. He wonders if he’ll be able to get rid of the butterflies that raid his stomach whenever he sees you smile like that, so fond and genuine and happy, it makes him feel like he’s falling in love all over again.

Still, loving each other feels like the most natural thing in the world.

You kiss him softly on the lips and he feels like he’s home.

“Welcome home.”