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Phineas stared at his brother in a combination of shock and surprise, hands clutching and twisting against the fabric of his shirt. "That... wasn't supposed to feel like that, was it?"
Ferb stared back, his own eyes wider than normal as he reached up with one hand to touch his lips, where Phineas had just kissed him. "I am... not sure." Ferb said slowly, each word carefully enunciated. Ferb quirked an eyebrow at Phineas, a silent request for more information.
"Isabella kissed me this afternoon." Phineas blurted, his shoulders coming in as he curled into as much of a ball as he could while still standing upright. "It didn't... I didn't... It didn't feel right. At all. I didn't like it."
"So you decided to repeat the experiment." Ferb said flatly and Phineas flinched.
"Yes." And he did like it, which made him feel even worse. Kissing Isabella had made him feel gross, like he was missing something or she was missing something. It felt the opposite of right.
Izzie was one of his best friends. He didn't like feeling that way about one of his friends.
Kissing Ferb had been nothing like that, it was comfortable. Like coming home after a long vacation or a ice cream on a warm summer day. He’d been pulling himself closer to get more of good feeling, when Ferb had made a confused noise and Phineas had realised that he was kissing his brother.
His very confused step-brother. Which was when he jumped back, leading to the current stand off.
Phineas winced. Ferb wasn't prone to physical acts of violence, but Phineas would understand it if Ferb gave him a black eye and said he never wanted to see Phineas again.
"And?" Ferb prompted after a few moments, when Phineas didn't say anything further.
Phineas flinched again, his heartbeat thundering in his ears, aware that his palms were sweaty. "It felt good." He whispered.
Ferb sighed. "Have you considered that you may not like girls 'in that way'?" He offered, voice surprisingly gentle.
Phineas looked up at Ferb, who had his thinking face on. "No?" He said shakily. "I don't... I mean..." He stammered.
Their classmates cracked jokes in the locker room about various things and Phineas just listened in with a detached sense of humour. He knew that at 16 he was a little behind the curve on some stuff, but there were so many other things that were more important other than how puberty was effecting their classmates or who was doing what behind the bleachers.
Things like designing and building rocket ships and matter transplanters, making experiments and going on adventures.
"You haven't liked anyone in the boyfriend or girlfriend context before." Ferb said, waving Phineas closer. Phineas twitched again, then hesitantly shuffled closer. Ferb wrapped an arm around Phineas' shoulders, pulling him closer in a half hug. "Relax. You're shaking hard enough to jump out of your skin."
"Right." Phineas let out a high nervous laugh. "Sorry." He said, leaning against his brother, tucking his forehead against Ferb's jaw. They hadn't done anything like this since they were little boys, a quiet word of encouragement or a punch on the shoulder usually all that was needed for moral support.
"I was rather taken back." Ferb admitted, suddenly loquacious as Phineas failed to find the words that usually flowed so readily. "I was not anticipating that. However... I must confess that it was quite nice."
Phineas felt Ferb's face warm to the touch and he looked up to see Ferb blushing. From Ferb, ‘quite nice’ was just short of singing praises. Phineas laughed quietly, feeling something in him relax. Ferb didn't hate him. Ferb was confused as he was. "You've kissed girls before."
"Yes." Ferb said, voice nostalgic. "Vanessa Doofensmirtz. Lovely woman."
"Was it like that with her?" Phineas asked, curious.
"No." Ferb shook his head slightly. "But then, I believe it is different with each person. It did not feel terrible, quite the opposite in fact, but it is like attempting to compare one summer's day to another."
Happy, fun, exciting, and good. Summer days came in an excellent mix of all four, but each in slightly different proportions. "Oh."
He unclentched a hand from his shirt and wrapped his arm around Ferb while he thought. There were differences between kissing Isabella and kissing Ferb, big ones. Important ones.
Physically, they were as opposite as could be. Isabella was soft where Ferb was solid. She smelled like flowers and sticky bubblegum, he like motor oil and metallic sweat.
There were other differences too, less tangible ones. But mostly how they made him feel.
He thought about kissing other people, other than Ferb and Isabella. The Fireside Girls and some of the other girls in their class left him feeling kind of blank, they were okay, but that was about it.
He could see himself kissing Buford, maybe Baljeet, but he thought that Baljeet liked girls more than boys. Buford... Well, that put an interesting spin on why Buford was constantly picking on Baljeet, keeping the smaller math genius close at hand.
He wondered if Buford knew.
"Hey, Ferb?" He said after several minutes. "I think I might like boys."
"Okay." Ferb said.
"And you like both boys and girls?" Phineas sounded out.
Ferb shrugged. "Sometimes one more than the other."
Depending on the person. Phineas nodded to himself. "Hey, Ferb? Can-"
"Not until we are both out of school." Ferb said firmly, cutting off Phineas' request for another kiss. "We are still technically brothers and I would not do that to Mum and Dad."
"Oh." Phineas had forgotten that part. Ferb was just... Ferb. Sometimes he forgot that they were two separate people, that Ferb wasn't an extension of his own body.
And waiting until they were out of school meant that it would give him sometime to figure things out. Maybe go on a date with some other guy.
And plan what they wanted to do in the future. There were tonnes of possibilities after all. A huge galaxy that they'd only explored part of so far.
"Okay." Phineas agreed, feeling Ferb relax slightly at his acquiescence. They didn't fight very often, but they were both stubborn when it came to defending their point of view.
"Thank you." Ferb said quietly.
"No problem." Phineas grinned, tightening his hold on his brother. "Although, if we could stay like this? Just for a little while longer?" He really wasn’t interested in anything further. While he wouldn’t have minded another kiss, he mostly just wanted this physical contact, being close to someone for a little while.
"Of course." Ferb agreed easily, giving him a reassuring squeese. "And tell me what happened with Isabella. Are you alright?"
Phineas smiled and started to talk as Ferb lapsed silent, restoring their usual balance.
Between him and Ferb, they could always figure anything out.
-fin-