Chapter Text
The sun always shone in Elmore- at least, that’s how Alan saw it. The sun always shone, the grass was soft and green, the birds sang in effortless harmony. It wasn’t perfect, but it was pretty darn close. Out on his morning walk, he waved hello to the senior citizens on the porch of the old folks’ home.
“Good morning, Alan! Have a good day, dear!” they chorused, their tired faces grinning at him. He thanked them and returned the sentiment before continuing on his normal route through the suburbs to his bus stop. He always took the long way- it let him see more of the world, breathe more of the fresh morning air.
Rocky pulled up to the stop exactly eight minutes late, just like always, and sped down the boulevard to pick up the Wattersons. Alan greeted him with a smile and a chipper “Good morning, Rocky!” as he walked down the aisle to find Carmen. She was sitting in her usual spot, waving to him and grinning ear to ear. Alan slid into the seat next to her, throwing his arm over her- that sweater never did get less prickly, but she swore it was soft on the inside- and gently dropping his backpack at his feet.
“Good morning, my love.”
A few annoyed groans came from the seats around them, but Alan didn't care. Carmen was the best girlfriend in the world, and she deserved to know it. She giggled and leaned into his chest, her frizzy buns bumping into his shoulder as she got comfortable.
“How have you been since I last saw you?” she asked, yawning. “I missed you.”
It had only been about 16 hours since they had seen each other, but Alan understood. That was the kind of love he and Carmen had. They always wanted to be together.
By the time the two had gotten off the bus and walked to class, Carmen was fully awake and Alan was happy as ever.
“Boy,” he sighed, “Can you believe it’s been nearly four years?”
“What?” Carmen smiled at him, a bit confused by his sudden topic shift.
“You know, our anniversary is coming up. It’s been almost four years since we started dating.”
Which meant it was also the fourth year in a row of Tobias’ annual back to school party. How he always managed to get his parents out of the house on the same weekend was anyone’s guess, but the ‘how’ didn’t really matter as long as it happened.
Alan liked parties. He didn’t drink, or try any drugs, or even stay up too late, but he liked being around people, and he liked having an excuse to go out with Carmen. Last year they had worn matching outfits and Tobias had playfully threatened to throw them out if they didn’t change.
But this year, Alan was nervous about the party. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go. It wasn’t that Tobias was, at all times, either shooing away the freshmen who desperately wanted an invite or basking in their admiration. It wasn’t even that Alan had heard Jamie was trying to convince Masami to smuggle in some of her dad’s expensive liquor. It was Carmen. She was perfect, and Alan loved her, and he wanted to be with her forever. But lately, he had been, well… pining. For Leslie, of all people, which pretty much guaranteed that if anything at all went wrong, the whole thing would be very high drama.
Leslie wasn’t like Carmen. He was dramatic, and loud, and a completely different type of attractive, with his blue eyes and dancer’s body. Carmen was short and chubby, with dark curls and dark eyes and the warmest smile. Carmen felt like coming home, like safety and comfort and everything soft. Leslie felt like- or at least, Alan assumed Leslie would feel like adventure and glamour and a brand new, exciting type of love. And Alan wanted both.
The problem was figuring out how to explain this to Carmen without making her feel like she wasn’t enough. Carmen had known Alan was bisexual for years, but he hadn’t really come out to anyone as polyamorous. Not because he didn’t trust anyone to know, just because there hadn’t really been any reason to. Until recently, he had been happy with Carmen and only Carmen, and he knew she was happy with only him. She said it all the time- “my one and only,” “the only one for me,” “I can’t imagine being with anyone else.”
Alan trusted Carmen to care about him and to put his heart first. He and Carmen always did that for each other. What he wasn’t as sure about was his ability to explain to her that maybe he wanted two partners, and that didn’t mean he loved her any less, it just meant he loved someone else, too.
“Alan? Alan, come on, that was the bell. What’s going on in that cute lil head of yours?” Carmen laughed as Alan came to, grabbing his hand and tugging him out of the classroom.
For the first time in years, Alan couldn’t sleep. He had butterflies in his stomach, in his chest, and, based on how fidgety he was, in his legs and feet, too. He pushed his hair back, staring at the ceiling, and wished things were easier. Why did he have to go and fall for Leslie? That was a stupid question- no, there were no stupid questions, but it was one that he knew the answer to. Leslie was gorgeous, and confident, and bold and bright and wonderful. It was in his aura- he made things exciting, and he made Alan laugh, and he had never been anyone but himself. Leslie had been out as gay since elementary school, and out as nonbinary since middle school, and he wore what he wanted and laughed too loud and seemed to be talented at just about everything he tried. It was unfair how good he was. And it was unfair that even as Alan felt his face turn bright red at the mere thought of holding Leslie’s hand, he was still deeply, profoundly in love with Carmen. At least if he had fallen out of love with her, things would be simpler.
'Gumball has two partners,' he figured. 'Gumball has Penny and Rob, and it’s totally fine, and all three of them are happy.' But things seemed to just happen that way for Gumball. He had this odd luck that got him in excessive trouble, but also consistently got him out of it. No matter how many times things went wrong for Gumball, he always seemed to end up on top. And Alan was happy for his friend. But he worried that things wouldn’t go the same way for him, especially since Carmen, despite her newfound patience, still wasn’t Penny Fitzgerald, with her endless capacity for trying new situations and her steady self confidence. Penny had, at one point, been more anxious and self conscious, but her friendly, optimistic demeanor and the unconditional love she received from her family, friends, and boyfriend had helped her grow into one of the most stable people Alan knew. Carmen, for all her love and warmth, might not be ready to share like Penny was.
But there was no point in just worrying about how things could go wrong. If they did, he would find a way to fix it, and if they didn’t, well, that would be great! Alan only had control over how he presented it, not over how Carmen reacted. The thought helped calm him a little, and he barely processed his alarm clock blinking 3:26 as he finally relaxed into a hazy, dreamless sleep.
The first thought Alan had the next morning was less a coherent thought and more a jumble of expletives he would never say out loud. For the first time he could remember, he had overslept. If he hurried, he could catch the bus by taking the short route. Mentally apologizing to the senior citizens he wouldn’t get to greet, Alan slapped his alarm clock off, splashed some water on his face, grabbed an apple and his backpack, and ran out the front door, yelling a hasty “I love you” to his parents as it closed behind him. He dashed across the lawn, apologizing to the grass for flattening it, and down the street to the bus stop. As Rocky pulled up, Alan forced himself to calm his breathing and smile, fixing his hair so it wouldn’t be obvious that he had almost been late. As always, he wished Rocky a good morning and sat down next to Carmen.
“Hey,” he breathed, still panting a little, and dropped his backpack harder than intended, the dull thunk startling him just a little.
“Hey,” Carmen laughed. “What’s up with you?”
“I overslept,” Alan admitted. “For the first time in my life. And it turns out these stick legs aren’t made for running.”
“Well, are they made for dancing?” Carmen asked, smiling up at him. “Tobias announced the date of his party. It’s in two weeks on Saturday. We’re going together, right?”
Alan’s brain turned to static. Of course he was going with Carmen. The question was whether he was going with just Carmen.
“Well, uh, about that,” he heard himself say, “what if- I mean, how would you feel if, er, is it okay with you if I ask someone else? I love you!”
'What was that?! That was not how I was going to say it! What the heck just happened?!'
Alan watched Carmen’s face twist into nervous confusion as he scrambled to say something, anything, that helped.
“No! No, I don’t mean, like, not go with you, because I love you and I want to be with you forever, also you’re really pretty and you’re amazing and, I mean, uh, what if I have two hands… for… holding.”
Shit. Alan was supposed to be good at these things! He knew how to talk to Carmen, he knew how to handle sensitive topics! Except, apparently, he didn’t.
“Alan, what are you trying to say here? If I’m not enough for you, you don’t have to be gentle about it.” Carmen’s eyes were shining with confusion and unshed tears. “Just tell me what’s going on.”
Alan took a deep breath, hoping his words would come out the way he meant them this time.
“Carmen, I-” his sentence was cut short as the bus jolted to a stop, Rocky’s friendly voice calling for everyone to get off. Alan awkwardly scooted out of his seat and walked off the bus, almost forgetting to thank Rocky on the way down the steps. He turned over his shoulder to find Carmen, but she had disappeared into the crowd. When he finally caught up with her in homeroom, she was sitting between Penny and Masami, her eyes and cheeks just a little too red. Alan sighed and sat down alone, silently cursing himself.
His morning classes were a blur. Nothing was as important as making things better with Carmen before she became fully convinced that she wasn’t enough, or he didn’t care, or any other number of awful things. Alan needed her to know he loved her. When the lunch bell rang, he power walked to the cafeteria and sat down at their regular table. Carmen walked in a few minutes later, and he waved her over, hoping the face he was making read as an apologetic smile and not a dismissive one. Carmen waved back, then turned and joined her fellow cheerleaders at their table. Alan felt his heart drop. How could he have messed up so badly? He groaned quietly and let his head fall into his hands, propping himself up on his elbows.
“Hey, uh, is it cool if I sit here? My usual spot has been usurped,” a familiar voice joked awkwardly. Of course. If Carmen was sitting with the cheerleaders, that meant one of them didn’t have a spot anymore. Might as well be Leslie.
“Yeah, of course,” Alan managed, not sure whether he was forcing or suppressing a smile. Either way, his face felt strained, and he was sure Leslie could tell something was off.
“So, uh… everything okay with Carmen? If I’m allowed to ask. She seems pretty torn up about something.”
Right. Leslie liked drama, and he had never been good at boundaries. That didn’t change the fact that he was blushing just enough for Alan to notice, and there was something genuine in his tone. 'Well,' Alan figured, 'things aren’t getting much worse from here. I may as well talk to someone.'
“Long story short, she asked me to Tobias’ party, and I didn’t say no, but I did very awkwardly try to come out to her as polyamorous, and now she thinks she’s not enough for me and she won’t let me explain.” Yikes. That definitely sounded more bitter than Alan felt.
“Oh. I didn’t know you were-”
“Yeah, that’s why I had to tell her. Nobody knew.”
“That… makes sense. Well, uh, I’m glad to hear it.” Leslie’s face turned bright red, and he rushed into his next words. “Not for any reason, and not glad about Carmen, I just, uh, I’m happy for you. Happy you’re finding yourself. Happy for my friend.” Leslie trailed off and shoved an orange slice into his mouth, still blushing, as Alan held back a laugh. It was good to know he wasn’t the only one who was awkward today, and, man, Leslie was cute all flustered like this.
“No worries. I didn’t take anything the wrong way,” Alan offered. “I just wish I could tell Carmen that nothing has to change between us. I still think she’s the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing girl in the whole world, and I would give anything to have her next to me. I wasn’t thinking straight because I almost missed the bus, and I was tired and nervous, and now she’s upset and I feel awful about it. All this because I didn’t know how to tell her I might want a second partner. I still love her just as much, y’know? Gumball makes it work, so why shouldn’t I?”
“I hear you. Um, not to pry, but who else were you gonna ask?”
“No. No, no, no. I’m not telling anyone that until I clear it with Carmen, and, well, no offense, but-”
“You don’t want the whole school to know. I get it,” Leslie sighed dramatically, placing one hand daintily on his forehead. “I have a reputation. You can’t trust me with such things.”
He dropped the pose and laughed, Alan laughing with him. Maybe it was just his imagination, but Alan could have sworn Leslie was leaning across the table toward him.
“Hi, Carmen. Can we please talk? I love you, really, and this is important. You have my number.” Alan hung up, guessing six voicemails were more than enough, and slipped his phone into his pocket. The two hadn’t spoken in three days, and now that it was the weekend, Alan really wanted to take advantage of his free time and sort things out with her. Carmen hadn’t officially broken up with him, which Alan took as a good sign, but she was clearly upset with him. As he sat down at his desk and flipped his laptop open, resigning himself to working on an extra credit essay, his cell phone buzzed in his pocket. It had to be Carmen. His heart jumped, and he picked up without checking who was calling.
“Hey! Hi! I’ve been hoping you’d cal!”
“Really?” Leslie’s voice came through the receiver, and Alan’s heart stayed in his throat, but somehow it felt different.
“Uh, yeah,” Alan bluffed. Was it a bluff if it was true? He had been hoping Leslie would call, but then, he had been hoping for any interaction with Leslie at all.
“That’s, uh, really sweet, Alan. I wanted to ask if you’re doing anything this weekend. Penny and I are getting some people together to go to the mall, and right now it’s just us, Masami and Jamie, who might split off, and Teri. We also have a maybe from Molly. It’s gonna be fun if you wanna join us!”
“Is there any chance Carmen’s gonna be there?” Alan asked, unsure whether he wanted to hear a yes or a no.
“She’s busy already. Something about self care and a lot of homework.” Leslie sounded almost apologetic, as if he knew the real reason Carmen wasn’t coming was she was going to be crying to The Smiths all weekend, and as if he knew Alan knew it now, too.
“Oh. Well, I guess I could come. I haven’t really spent too much time with friends lately,” Alan confessed. In retrospect, he hadn’t spent much time with friends... ever. It wasn’t that he didn’t have friends, or even that he didn’t want to spend time with them, he just had been busy volunteering and spending what free time he had with Carmen. He didn’t like being separated from her, but maybe, if he had to be, it would be better to try to have a good time than to sit in his room worrying.
“Great! I’m glad you’re coming! I’ll see you tomorrow, then? Noon?”
“Sounds good,” Alan chuckled, his heart warmed by the excitement in his friend’s voice.
“See you then. Bye, Alan.”
The call ended before Alan got a chance to say goodbye, which was probably a good thing, as the softness in Leslie’s tone had caught him completely off guard. Alan smiled weakly, then slumped back in his chair, wanting to scream. He didn’t know which was more intense, the flustered excitement he felt knowing he was going to spend all day with Leslie, or the sinking nervousness he couldn’t help but feel for the same reason. Alan didn’t want Carmen to feel replaced. Alan didn’t even want anyone to know about the butterflies Leslie gave him until he knew for sure that Carmen was okay with it. And right now it seemed like Carmen was very not okay with it. Sitting back up, he pulled his phone back out and called Carmen again. Maybe this time she’ll pick up, he thought, despite expecting the opposite.
“Okay, Alan, what do you want?”
Alan gasped quietly at the sound of her voice.
“Carmen! Oh, thank God, I was so scared you were never gonna talk to me again!”
“I considered it,” Carmen deadpanned. “But your messages sounded so desperate. What’s going on? What’s happening between us?”
“Okay,” Alan said firmly, determined to get it right this time. “On the bus the other day, when I messed up, I was trying to come out to you as polyamorous. You know what that means, right?”
“Yeah,” Carmen mumbled, sounding almost embarrassed. “Penny told me she thought that was what you were saying, and, well, you know me. I would never judge you for that.”
It was true. Carmen, despite being straight and cis, had been one of the biggest advocates for Elmore Junior High to start a GSA, and she had educated herself as much as possible on every social and political issue she could find. If Alan had any say in the matter, Carmen would end up as president someday.
“Thanks, Carmen. All I was trying to say is, y’know, I think I have a crush. And it doesn’t mean I love you any less, or I want to spend less time with you, or that our relationship has to change at all. I love you. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you. And that’s part of why I wanted to ask how you felt about it before I asked someone else to the party as well as you.”
Carmen was silent for a dangerously long period of time, and Alan felt his heart speed up in his chest.
“I guess… I guess I need some time to get used to that idea. I don’t want to hold you back, Alan. I don’t want to keep you from the happiness you deserve. You’re sweet, and kind, and honest, and everything you do comes from a place of goodness. I love you, you know that, right? And that’s why I’m gonna say go ahead. Go and ask your other person, and if they have even half a brain they’ll say yes. But I might need a little space for a few days.”
“Wait, what? No! Carmen, I asked because I want to put you first! I want-”
“Alan, listen to me. I’m not breaking up with you, okay? I’m just saying if you’re gonna have two partners, which, I guess, if anyone deserves that, you do- if you’re gonna do that, I support you, and I love you, and I need some space for a bit to think, and to breathe, and to get used to it. And you can spend some time with whomever it is, and then when we’re all ready, we can start hanging out all at the same time. Does that make sense? Because I think that’s what we need.”
Alan opened his mouth a few times before any words found their way out.
“I understand. I, um, I love you a lot. And I don’t want you to feel replaced. Nothing and nobody could ever replace you.”
“I don’t feel replaced, Alan. I don’t really know what I feel. It’s just not something I’m used to, and once I get used to it, hopefully things will go back to normal. No, hopefully things will be better than normal. I’ll see you at the party, okay?”
“Okay.” What else was there to say? Alan blinked, not quite sure if this was a good outcome or not.
“Also, who is it? The other person. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know at first, but now I think I do.”
Alan had never admitted to it out loud. He knew Leslie made him feel things, really good things, and he knew he had every intention of bringing Leslie to that party if he agreed to come. But it caught in his throat when he tried to say it.
“Come on, Alan. You kind of owe me this one. I deserve to know who my boyfriend is asking out.” Carmen’s voice wasn’t angry, but the amusement definitely had an undertone of annoyance.
“Of course! Sorry, I was just- it’s Leslie. I kinda have a crush on Leslie.”
“That’s what I figured.”
Wait a minute, Carmen knew? How did she-
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with him lately. On the bus, at lunch, in homeroom. But I didn’t want to assume. Anyway, um. I’ll see you at school, I guess. And if I don’t, I’ll see you at the party.”
“Yeah. I love you, Carmen. And I miss you.”
“Yep. …Bye, now.”
“Talk to you later.”
Alan put his phone down and left his desk, flopping onto his bed instead. Was this good? He still had Carmen, but when people said they needed space, they didn’t always end up getting back together, and she had been so… civil. It was almost like she was holding something back. Was she mad? Was she as okay as she said she was? And, maybe most worryingly, was she ever going to love Alan as much as she had just days ago? She said she supported him. She said she wanted him to be happy, and Alan believed that, but he couldn’t help but worry anyway.
'Now is not the time to become a pessimist, Alan,' he told himself. 'Now is the time to trust Carmen to know what’s best for her and for us, and to let yourself have a good time with Leslie and your friends. Everything is going to work out, just like it always does.'
Carmen had asked for space. And she wasn’t the type to play games. If she said she wanted space, Alan would give her space, and he would trust that she would come back to him within the week like she said. But for now, he needed to get some rest. Tomorrow was going to be a big day.
Alan had been to the Elmore mall hundreds of times before, but it felt entirely new now that he was here with friends. Especially these friends. Fine, especially Leslie.
“Okay,” Masami said, reading off the notes she had taken on her phone, “Jamie’s just here because I am, which is super sexy of her and also means anything I vote to do counts double, Alan and Penny are both insisting that they don’t care what we do, Teri just wants to walk with us but won’t actually touch anything in the stores because she’s nervous about sanitation, and Leslie’s a bitch who can’t outvote me because, like I said, my vote counts double. This is gonna be fun!” She smiled at the group, clearly comfortable with them.
“I’m not a bitch, Masami, I’m a dumbass twink. I thought we talked about this!” Leslie, Masami, and Penny dissolved into laughter, and Teri soon joined, leaving Alan and Jamie to awkwardly glance at each other. Alan could tell that if Jamie and Masami hadn’t somehow fallen hard for each other, Jamie wouldn’t be at the mall on a day like today. She would be outside, or hanging out with Tina, or any number of things that weren’t this. But she put her arm over Masami and shrugged, looking away from Alan, who instinctively moved closer to Leslie. Jamie had calmed down a bit since junior high, but Alan, with his lanky body and do-gooder reputation, was still just a little nervous around her.
“Anyway,” Masami continued, “I’m basically the boss around here, and I say we go and smell all the soaps and candles and argue about which ones are the best.”
Alan perked up at that. He liked things that smelled nice, and hopefully this was something he could participate in without too obviously being new to the group. The six of them walked down the hall together, Masami latching onto Jamie’s arm in an almost obnoxiously obvious manner- was that what Alan and Carmen were like?- and, upon entering the shop, naturally paired off.
“Come on,” Leslie said, pulling Alan behind him. “I really like all the floral ones, they smell super nice!”
Alan just followed, a dopey grin threatening to take over his face at the feeling of Leslie’s hand gripping his.
'This is okay with Carmen,' he reminded himself. 'I talked to her, and she said it’s okay, and oh, God, his grip is so strong but his skin is so soft.'
The two ducked into a corner of the shop, Leslie enthusiastically and methodically reading through the names of the candles.
“This one!” he said, pulling a candle off the shelf. “Here, smell this. It’s my favourite, but Penny and Masami say it’s too strong. I wanna know if you like it.”
The candle had a distinctly floral scent, but it was unlike any flower Alan had ever smelled. There was something oddly sweet about it, almost like honey or fruit, that made it clear the candle was made to smell like the idea of flowers rather than any one type. Maybe it was just the knowledge that Leslie liked it, but Alan found it calming and poetic, the idea of creating a scent based around a concept.
“I like it a lot,” he said, handing the candle back to Leslie, whose eyes scrunched up in a smile. “I don’t think they’re smelling it right. They want specifics, but this one is supposed to be an idea. A feeling, almost. Right?”
“Exactly! It’s called Pink Petals. It’s not like the roses and lilies and lavenders, it’s just… kinda nice.” Leslie blushed, looking down in embarrassment.
Is he nervous about how excited he got over the candle? Because if he is, he shouldn’t be. It’s cute.
“It’s a good candle,” Alan said, encouraging another smile from Leslie. “I never actually noticed that one before. I like… coconut.” It was true. Alan did like the smell of coconut. But he still felt incredibly stupid and awkward as the words left his lips.
“Fab. Coconut. Do you wanna, uh, go find the coconut ones? I think they’re... kinda... over there.” Leslie gestured vaguely over Alan’s shoulder and took a step in that direction. Alan managed to miss the cue and didn’t move, resulting in Leslie having just moved in almost too close. The two looked at each other, both of them blushing profusely.
'Is this it?' Alan wondered. 'Is this how I get him to go to that party with me? By saying I like coconut?'
“Um, I was talking to Carmen, and she said-”
“Right! Carmen! Um. Sorry.” Leslie stepped back, breaking out of the moment.
“No, no, I-”
“We were gonna go find the coconut candles, right?”
'I was gonna say she didn’t mind if I asked you to the party,' Alan thought. 'Like, as a date. Would you like that?'
“Yeah," he said, holding back the disappointment that threatened to creep into his voice. "Coconut.”
Somehow, despite all six of them agreeing that food court food was not worth the price, the friends ended up in the food court, debating what to do once their nachos were gone.
“I’m just saying that whether or not we go to that boutique none of us can afford, we should all wash our hands after this,” Teri interjected.
“My dad accidentally gave me $1200 in cash,” Masami replied. “I can afford anything any of us wants today. But yeah, I agree with you.”
“Maybe we could catch a movie,” Penny suggested. “Carrie says the sequel to The Screamening is way better than the original, and it’s not even that scary.”
“Not that scary by Carrie’s standards,” Teri pointed out as Jamie not-so-subtly pulled the rest of the nachos out of the center of the table and finished them herself.
“Aw, don’t be a baby, Teri,” Leslie teased. “It’ll be fun!”
“If it’s too scary for you, I’ll leave the theater and we can hang out, okay?” Penny offered. “I can always go with Polly or Gumball later.”
Teri nodded, a grateful smile on her face, and the six left the food court to wash their hands and go get tickets.
Somehow, Alan managed to make it through the commercials before processing that he was watching a movie, in theaters, with Leslie. Maybe because there were four other people there, or maybe because neither of them had technically asked the other, but, for whatever reason, he didn’t process it as at all romantic until Masami stage whispered “Hey Leslie, how are you and your boyfriend doing? Want some of the popcorn?” from four seats down. He found himself frozen to his seat with excellent posture, staring straight ahead at the screen in case Masami, or anyone, really, was looking at him.
“Shut up,” Leslie stage whispered back, “the movie’s starting.”
'He didn’t deny it,' Alan noticed silently. 'He didn’t say I’m not his boyfriend.' The butterflies were decidedly back.
“Sorry about her,” Leslie whispered- a real whisper this time, and Alan couldn’t help but notice how close Leslie had gotten. Probably just to make sure Alan could hear him, but still.
“I don’t mind,” Alan replied, still staring straight at the screen. “She can call me your boyfriend if she wants. And, uh, you could too, if, if you want.”
'Oh my god,' he thought, equal parts giddy and embarrassed. 'I did it. And I did it… like that.'
Onscreen, a young couple tiptoed through the forest. Leslie was silent. Was that shock? Discomfort? Had Alan fucked up?
“But… Carmen,” Leslie whispered, his hand gripping Alan’s arm. How long had that been happening?
“She doesn’t mind,” Alan assured him. “I talked to her, and she said it’s okay.”
Alan turned his head to smile at Leslie, and, as he did, a scream came from the speakers, along with an awful splattering sound that he did not regret missing the visuals to. Teri yelped, Leslie flinched, and Penny’s comforting voice rose just loud enough to be heard over the movie. Within seconds, she and a shuddering Teri were scooting down the aisle, leaving two empty seats between Leslie and Masami, with Alan and Jamie on the outer edges. As Penny passed by, Alan could have sworn he overheard her wish Leslie good luck.
Maybe because they had been interrupted, or maybe because the movie was picking up, Leslie didn’t say anything. Alan didn’t push it. He became more anxious by the second- was this a rejection?- but he didn’t bring it up again. The ball was in Leslie’s court now. Not that either of them would ever be found on a sports court. Tennis court. It was tennis that was played on courts.
Another awful jumpscare startled Alan out of his head and back into the present. It must have startled Leslie, too, because he leaned into Alan, wrapping both of his arms around Alan’s and clutching his sleeve.
“You good?” Alan asked, still a bit shaken himself.
“Totally,” Leslie breathed, still holding on to Alan’s arm. “I just scare easily. I’ll be fine.” Screams and sickening crunching noises suddenly filled the theater, and Leslie tightened his grip, pressing his face into Alan’s shoulder and sending him enough serotonin to clear his mind and keep him happy for a week.
“It’s okay,” Alan said softly. “I’ve got you.” Was that too much? Leslie nodded into his sleeve, so he assumed not. He gently untangled his arm and put it over Leslie, who flipped up the armrest between them. Alan hadn’t known those were movable, but boy, was he glad they were. At each scare or scream, even the highly predictable ones, Leslie got a little closer to Alan, until, by the end of the movie, his head was nestled under Alan’s chin and he clearly wasn’t even watching the screen. Alan kept his arm wrapped around Leslie’s shoulders, moving as little as possible so he wouldn’t accidentally cue Leslie to get off of him. As the credits rolled, Alan relaxed his body slightly and spoke into the top of Leslie’s head.
“So, would you like to come to Tobias’ party with Carmen and me? Mostly me?”
Leslie picked up his head to meet Alan’s gaze and nodded, his face pink and glowing.
“I would absolutely love that.”
“Perfect.” Acting on impulse, Alan leaned down and kissed Leslie gently on the forehead, then, processing what he had just done, stammered out a quiet “was that okay?” Based on the tight hug Alan immediately received, Leslie’s muffled response was a yes.
On Monday, Carmen smiled at Alan from her seat on the bus, but Molly was already sitting next to her, so Alan sat with Leslie and held his hand. On Tuesday, Carmen sat next to Alan in homeroom, but not at lunch. That was okay. Alan was enjoying his time with Leslie, even if it was time without Carmen. He was sure that before too long, all three of them could hang out together.
On Wednesday, Carmen waved Alan over to sit with her on the bus, and he did.
“So. It’s been a minute,” she said, almost shy.
“Yeah. I’ve missed you,” Alan replied, and it was true. Leslie made him so, so happy. But Carmen made him just as happy in an entirely different way, and he was glad to be talking to her again.
“How could you have time to miss me? You managed to get yourself a whole boyfriend,” Carmen laughed. Alan smiled at her, glad to see she didn’t seem to feel threatened. “Hey, listen, I hope you didn’t feel snubbed or pushed away by me. I really did just need a little time and space to adjust.”
“I know. And, to be fair, I worded it pretty poorly at first.”
“Which is surprising. You’re usually such a poet.” God, did it feel good to be close to Carmen again. Her dark eyes shone with the gentle love Alan had grown used to receiving from her, and his heart felt full just from looking at her. He could tell everything was going to be more than fine.