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Khun Aguero Agnis has never considered himself to be exceptionally sensitive. What’s more, he was perceived as rather cold, and distant or at least that’s what he was always told by others. His fascination with the Tower started as a child. Aguero knew people wanted to reach the top of it for different reasons – some were looking for wealth, power, others got captivated with their own heroic desires to change the world for the better. Aguero wasn’t an exception. He wanted to climb the Tower to prove himself worthy. Khun Aguero Agnis was an extremely intelligent man. When thinking about finding companions for the journey, their usefulness became the top priority for him. He didn’t show any interest in looking for friends, relationships, and making pointless small talk at 5 AM while drinking beer. His mother’s words were stuck in his head, and Aguero repeated them like a mantra – “Never trust anyone.” Humans are traitorous, not worthy of your loyalty. Don’t follow the rules, but make them, because that’s what it means to be a leader. And above anything else, a success must be created with your very own hands. Otherwise, you’ll become a trash lying on the first floors of the Tower. That’s the attitude Aguero entered with. Yet what a surprise he encountered, when the first person he met there was a boy, whose personality completely opposed to what Khun’s mother told him as a child. The boy didn’t seem to be someone who would be capable of using other people for his own plans. The clear confusion filling his eyes was quickly suppressed with happiness, after Khun had proposed him to climb the Tower together. At that moment Aguero wasn’t yet aware how much those eyes are going to change his life. Those that seemed to be made of fragile amber. Those that because of their beauty couldn’t be compared with anything else. Those that from the very beginning looked at Aguero as if he was the only one in the world.
Khun Aguero Agnis has never fully understood other people. What’s more, Bam liked to make him reach the apogee of his confusion. Why was he smiling all the time, even though he had no reason for it? Why was he treating everyone so kindly, even though they didn’t deserve it? Why was he able to sacrifice himself without hesitation, even though he got no benefits from it? And, above all, why was he so damn addicting? He’s not that special! Khun didn’t blame Bam for his anger, he blamed himself.
“I’m too weak, too naive,” he thought to himself. “I should have never suggested climbing the Tower together.”
I should have never met him.
But… was it bad that he wanted to look into his eyes once more? Run his fingers through soft, dark hair, and close the distance between them to see how Bam’s blushing cheeks try to divert Khun’s attention from the flustered orbs filled with curiosity. Aguero wanted to tenderly kiss his forehead, and promise that they’ll stay together no matter what. Because Bam wasn’t like anyone else. Others couldn’t ever compare to a single smile of Bam’s. What’s more, one evening was enough to assure Aguero in that.
“Mr. Khun?” Bam said, trying to start a conversation.
“Aguero”, Khun corrected him.
Usually, he didn’t like being called him by his name. Yet with the awareness that Bam won’t let him get as close as he wanted to, all Khun could do was to get rid of unnecessary formality.
“So, Aguero,” Bam continued while smiling at him. “Why are you climbing the Tower?”
“I need to get stronger. That’s the only way to outperform my father,” Khun answered.
He didn’t lie, even though he could. Khun Aguero Agnis was a member of Ten Great Families after all. If someone heard about his plans toward his father, he would face tremendous consequences. But Bam wasn’t that someone. He’d never betray him, right? Aguero… his name in Bam’s lips sounded exceptionally pretty.
“I understand.”
He didn’t lie either. And that’s what made Khun lose his senses.
Khun Aguero Agnis didn’t exactly like what was happening to him. What’s more, it had nothing to do with Bam. Okay, maybe a little bit. The main problem was his health. Apparently, Khun’s immune system was defective, and that was the reason for him to stay in bed for a few days straight. Aguero hated every part of being sick, starting from taking some kind of disgusting medicine, and ending with the fact that Bam didn’t mind him acting like a jerk about it. The golden eyed boy was taking good care of him. He brought him warm meals, took his temperature, spent time with him, and when he thought that Aguero has already fallen asleep, he had a habit of kissing his forehead before leaving. With each moment they shared together Aguero was more, and more certain of one thing – the burning he felt on his skin wasn’t there only because of the fever. Bam’s subtle touches were quite pleasurable, yet too ephemeral. When thinking about it, Khun tried to be honest with himself, and that led him to one conclusion – even eternity spent in Bam’s arms wouldn’t be enough.
“Aguero” said Bam when entering the room. “I brought your medicine.”
Just hearing about those ungodly disgusting substances made him shiver. He could already feel the bitterness on his tongue, which didn’t fill him with happiness.
“You look like a grumpy toddler.”
“If you were me, you wouldn’t be ecstatic either.”
Bam looked at Khun apologetically, and gave him the medicine.
“You seem more lively today,” Bam added. “Maybe you’ll get healthy soon.”
“I hope so, Bam. All I’m doing is wasting time, because of that stupid fever,” Khun answered.
“I would never let you climb the Tower in such a state. And we have a lot of time anyway.”
Aguero smiled. He had no idea what he did in his previous life to meet someone as sweet as Bam, but it was surely worth it.
“You should rest.”
He took the empty medicine bottles, and slightly leaned over Khun. He was close. Really close. Before Aguero managed to register what had happened, Bam kissed his nose. After that, the only thing Khun heard was a sound of the door getting closed.
“He knew that I wasn’t asleep earlier as well, didn’t he?
Khun Aguero Agnis didn’t like wasting his time. What’s more, because of his workaholic tendencies, he almost never did that. Each free moment had to be as productive as possible, so when Bam proposed to get a break, and spend their afternoons together, he wasn’t delighted.
“We should train more,” Aguero stated.
“Yes, but we should also take a break from time to time,” Bam argued.
Khun smirked. Bam seemed to feel more comfortable in his presence, which lately led to that kind of trivial disagreements. When they met for the first time, Aguero couldn’t possibly predict how stubborn Bam might be. And that trait wasn’t really helping with anything – what kind of monster would be able to refuse someone so adorable? There was a tremendous determination in his eyes, in his beautiful eyes that others could compare to wheat. For Khun whatsoever, they looked more like daffodils. Not because of some kind of narcissistic tendencies, of course. They just seemed like an embodiment of eternal beauty. Unreachable, never for Khun to touch, yet the most marvelous, and outstanding that he has ever seen.
“Aguero?” Bam said. “Are you even listening?”
“Hmm… oh, yes, of course!” Aguero answered, yet too quickly and chaotic for it to sound honest.
Bam sighed. Nothing seemed to be good enough to make Khun change his mind, and every time he tried it brought no success with itself. Aguero really didn’t want to look at Bam being unhappy.
“So, what’s the plan for today? Maybe we should start with a proper dinner,” Khun said.
He knew what Bam did to him. He didn’t like it, but he knew. Khun Aguero Agnis couldn’t possibly be assertive around him, he was just a human after all.
“Yes, that sounds great!” Bam answered quickly with a wide smile appearing on his face.
Aguero could accept a lot of his mistakes. But he would never forgive himself, if Bam stopped smiling because of him.
Khun Aguero Agnis has never been exceptionally empathetic. What’s more, he often caught himself at feeling an unreasonable disdain towards sensitive people. He wasn’t completely sure if it’s a matter of his own nature or more of a negative result of bad parenting. Aguero’s mother taught him that being delicate leads to having weaknesses. And he had to be tough. Khun knew what kind of effect had on him Bam’s presence. He hated it. Bam’s sensitivity towards others and their pain seemed to change Aguero’s behavior. It was like the sweetest poison known to men, and it made Aguero lose his sanity. Being nice wasn’t good for his heart. And because of this, he came to one conclusion. To get an antidote to his sickness he needed to get rid of a chemical element called “Bam”. And it hurt. Like hell, some may say. With every “I don’t have time for you” he felt as if a billion of tiny needles was piercing not only Bam’s heart, but his as well. Deep down he hoped that Bam will stay with him. He wanted Bam to be his sweet chestnut that treated his Aguero like the biggest treasure in the world. Yet those hopes couldn’t possibly come true.
“You’re avoiding me, Aguero,” Bam said one evening. “But I don’t understand why.”
Khun didn’t understand that either. He wasn’t even sure what Bam’s eyes were filled with. Sadness, anger, disappointment? Maybe everything at once.
“We should have never met,” Khun whispered through clenched teeth.
It hurt, yet no tear left Aguero’s body. He didn’t deserve to cry.
“I understand.”
When Khun saw Bam closing the door he wasn’t yet aware, that with leaving this room he also left his life. Maybe that’s the way it was supposed to be from the very beginning. How could someone like Khun, who wasn’t loyal even to his own family, deserve an embodiment of Eden? Maybe they’ll meet again someday. In a place, where the ungodly Tower doesn’t exist, and Aguero is capable to love Bam as much as he deserves to be loved. Khun didn’t care when it’ll happen. He would wait another seven lives for Bam to meet him. He’d do that. But is it bad that his heart aches even at the thought that Bam might not remember someone called Aguero?
Khun Aguero Agnis was leading an excuse of a life. What’s more, he was the one responsible for it. That’s what he wanted, right? Get rid of Bam. And as an adult he had to understand the consequences of his own actions. Yes, Khun Aguero Agnis couldn’t admit that he needed help, because he’s able to deal with everything himself. A display of his independence were the countless hours that he spent looking at the ceiling. If Bam lied next to him, everything would be different. But there’s no Bam anymore. Bam left and shouldn’t come back. His golden eyes were Aguero’s weakness. If he had to summarize their relationship, he would describe it as seven glances. The first one, after meeting each other. The second one, when he saw Bam as someone more than a stranger. The third one, taking place during Aguero’s fever. The fourth one, when Bam saved him from his workaholic tendencies. The fifth one, which ended everything. The sixth one. It should take place right now, because Khun really fucking missed his chestnut. And the seventh, for Aguero still believed they’ll meet again. Khun was that kind of fool he used to laugh at. He didn’t want to stay so sick inside anymore. He didn’t want to imagine Bam’s fingers running through his hair, when in reality they were his own. He felt pathetic. Khun had no strength to eat, drink. Sleeping came to him with difficulty. Dark circles under his eyes were getting larger with each day. And he didn’t even want to look at anything. Every little thing reminded him of Bam. Was he obsessed? Probably. He felt like a fish in the water that suddenly lost its gills. Like a child looking at a wrong side of one-way mirror, hoping to see the reflection. Khun Aguero Agnis became the exact kind of trash that his mother warned him of. But if he could hear Bam’s voice once more…
“Aguero?”
Yes, exactly this one. As lively as the one in his mind. The prettiest in the world.
“Aguero?”
Maybe a little to lively? Bam couldn’t possibly be back.
“How did you manage to make such a mess out of yourself?”
It was too real to be a delusion. Shit…
Khun Aguero Agnis was a happy madman. What’s more, since his chestnut returned, a really productive one. It was almost as if his fate was to come back to senses.
“Bam?” Aguero asked. “Never leave me again.”
“Don’t let me leave again, then.”
He won’t. Khun promised himself he’ll wait even another seven lives for Bam, but deep down he knew he wouldn’t be able to do that. Because that’s not living.
“I love you, Bam.”
“You’re telling me this for the hundredth time today,” Bam laughed. “But I love you too.”
The night was still young, a lot could happen. Some relationships might come to an end, some start. But at that moment it wasn’t important. Khun Aguero Agnis has never considered himself to be exceptionally sensitive, yet with every touch that Bam gave him he was losing all the self-control he had. Aguero’s mother has always taught him that choices made because of emotions were actions of a fool. But Bam was the one that made him realize a true fool would ignore his heart in the name of pathetic statements. Bam was his weakness. The only one that Aguero was proud of.
“Let’s see the stars together,” Bam said. “Before they fall.”
Khun smiled upon hearing those words. Is wasting his time on watching the stars something he should avoid? Probably. Will he do it anyway? Of course.
“Okay, just let me grab something to drink.”
Aguero truly couldn’t comprehend why Bam came back. Maybe he didn’t want to understand it. After Khun had opened a kitchen cabinet, he took two glasses out of it. When Aguero entered the Tower he wasn’t interested in making pointless small talk at 5 AM while drinking beer.
No one has said anything about wine.