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"Shou?" Kei calls his name as he peeks through the bedroom door. "You ready?"
"Yeah. I'll be right there." Kei nodded and walked away to make sure Shouyou doesn't forget anything for his flight. Always so thoughtful, that guy, his mind supplies.
Looking around the room once again, Shouyou thinks of all the times he's spent inside. How it became his safe space, a place where he went through his moments of weakness, and celebrated his victories. How it became his solace and comfort in times he's alone, with only his thoughts to keep him company. And how it's the space both him and Kei cultivated to become a place they could call their own, bearing witness to the love they made all these years.
I'll be back. That's for sure. He thinks as he steps out of the room, closing the door behind him. Kei is waiting for him at the genkan , his shoes and coat already on.
"Took you long enough." He says as he grabs Hinata's luggage to pull it through the door.
"For someone who's always been clingy, you sure are eager to have me leave." Kei looks at him, unimpressed with the cheeky remark.
"Your noisy ass will finally be out of this apartment. How could I not be happy?" Hinata giggles at his sarcasm and finally steps out the door with his backpack.
"Did you call for a taxi?" Hinata asks as Kei locks the door.
"Yeah. It's already waiting for us so come on."
True to his word, a taxi really is outside their building waiting for them and Kei loads his luggage into the trunk as Shouyou makes his way to the backseat. Kei joins him briefly and off they go. The ride to the airport will take about an hour and the silence inside gives Shouyou a lot of time to think about… things
He's going to Brazil. Again.
Almost two years after he went back to Japan, he received an invitation to play for Asas Sâo Paulo from Brazil. It was one of the biggest opportunities ever laid in front of Shouyou and he couldn't not take it. The chance to be able to play for a world-class team doesn't always come twice, especially to Shouyou who has to work harder than everyone else to prove himself worthy of being in the same court.
So he took it. And Kei supported him.
"You should take it."
Kei says after thinking about it. Shouyou stares at him, not knowing how to react with how his boyfriend accepted this so easily, without any protest.
“Don’t get me wrong. I… don't like not having you beside me. It's… not the same without you." He looks at Shouyou the way he did the first time Shouyou went to Brazil — sad, longing. "But when I started going out with you, I knew that volleyball is something I can and will never take away from you. So I kinda knew that this would happen some time in the future."
"Really?" Kei hums in response.
So he had thought about this before, Shouyou thinks. Like always, Kei thinks about everything precociously, and carefully.
"And we've been through this before, even longer than this is gonna be."
That's right. They've already experienced being in a long-distance relationship when he first went to Brazil. He'd be lying if he said those two years was easy. They went through lots of fights and arguments, miscommunication and misunderstandings, and even once came to the point of breaking up. It was the first time they've been separated like that after all — with different time zones and half of the world between them. But compared to the two years they've been apart before, the few months he'd be gone this time would be nothing.
But a lot can happen in a span of a few months.
Shouyou shakes the thought out of his head. He's not going there. He knows how destructive that thinking is. He knows despite how unavoidable it was to have doubts, not trusting his partner is bound to create something irrevocable between them. That small crack wouldn't be able to withstand the pressure of having to constantly think about if your relationship is still the same, if you're still the one they think about, if they still feel the same way they did before you went away, and eventually, it will break.
He has seen first-hand how it almost broke them apart. It scared the hell out of Shouyou, shook him to his very core and it was all he could think about. That's when he realized where he went wrong. And all he wanted then was to fix it. He couldn't lose Kei.
Because to lose Kei is like losing his home.
So they talked, and talked, and talked about everything — what scares them the most and how they're going to fix it. They built a new container — stronger and endlessly bigger — that they knew would be able to withstand whatever test the time and distance will give them.
Shouyou looks into his partner's honeyed eyes. The sadness and longing is still there, which probably won't go away for as long as they're apart, but it also glitters with something else — hope.
"I'm not going anywhere, Shouyou. I'll always wait for you until you come home."
Shouyou feels a warm hand intertwine with his and he turns to look beside him.
"Don't think too much or you'll explode." Kei teases with a smirk and Shouyou laughs.
"You're such a jerk."
"You love this jerk."
"Are y ou sure?"
"I am."
And he's not joking. There isn't any trace of hesitation or doubt in his eyes as Shouyou looks at him. He just… knows. The way Shouyou does, too.
"Hmm. Yeah. I do. And I know you love me, too."
Shouyou catches the driver looking at them through the rearview mirror with fond eyes and a small smile on his lips. He can't help but do the same. A squeeze on his hand makes him look up at Kei as he shows Shouyou a smile reserved only for his lover and partner.
As they near the airport, with hands intertwined, his head resting on the crook of the other's neck, and their hearts beating in sync, Shouyou thinks,
Yeah. They'll be just fine.
Shouyou guesses knowing that really makes all the difference in a relationship. During high school, when they just started dating, he spent a lot of time thinking about if he deserved something as beautiful as his relationship with Kei more than he wanted to admit. But he was young, they were young. It's different now that they knew just how many things in this world there are that could break them apart. It's different now that they've learned how much it hurt to be without the other. It's different now that they've learned to be sure of every aspect of their relationship — their love, trust, their commitment to each other, and where they want to go from here.
The assurance is there, binding them tighter and stronger. It gives all the security they need, that no matter the circumstance, no matter how much time they spend apart, no matter how much distance there is between them, they know they won't break.
Shouyou knows this. He knows that once he boards that plane, once he arrives in Brazil, they'll still be the same — longing for each other's presence yet hopeful for their reunion. He knows that they'll settle into a routine, like they did the first time he went to Brazil, and like they did just right before they stepped out of their apartment earlier.
He knows that every time he wakes up, a message from Kei will be waiting for him, greeting him a good morning while he prepares for bed.
Knows that before he goes to sleep at night, he'll get to see Kei's tousled hair and sleepy eyes looking at him through the screen.
Knows that despite the arguments, not one of them can and will resist the other.
Knows that during the moments when they hunger for the other's touch, they weren't alone, that they both feel the same.
Knows that this, the distance and time between them, won't be permanent.
They'll crave, crave, and crave until the day he goes back home. Until the day he steps out of that plane once again, but this time to where his home is, to where Kei is.
They'll wait, and wait, and wait.
Until the time he says, "I'm home, Kei. Thank you for waiting."
And he hears, "Took you long enough. Welcome home, Shouyou."
After all, by each other's side is where they belong.