Chapter Text
His hair was soft and fluffy, the chestnut brown strands tickled the edge of her nose as her eyes slowly began to open. The weight on her chest moved slightly before burying himself deeper into her skin. If every morning was as calm as this one, then there would be more happiness in the world. Even when the nights before were spoiled in throated screams and redness flooding into her thoughts. Is it really okay to go? But the fleeting thought passed as she stroked his head as he slumbered, clinging tighter to her body with each stroke. Tooru Oikawa was never one to settle down nor was he ever honest with his feelings. This left her in a constant state of anxiety and guilt for not doing more. He made himself her world but she knew nothing about how he really thought of everything.
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Stirring slightly, he let out a heavy sigh before opening his eyes. The person he was clinging to was softly breathing, eyes shut. Coughing once or twice didn’t get rid of the scratch in his throat nor did the water that he chugged down. The door had a hole where his fist had slammed in, the ache on his fingers pulsating as he remembered the drunken state he allowed himself into. She had seen it. The photos of him marking other girls, the promises messaged to people far away that he couldn’t wait to finally meet them, and the neatly folded sheer lace of someone else. Nothing was truly hidden as a secret, rather as an unspoken understanding I will do what I want with who I want when I want . It wasn’t the first time and likely won’t be the last. So why did the air feel so much heavier? She depended on him for the basic necessities, he made sure of that. Changing into a dress shirt and slacks, he set off without a word to a place only he would know.
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The walls echoed with choked sobs and slamming drawers but that would be the last time they heard from her. She rolled out her luggage, loaded it into a yellow car, and left silently. Clutching the crumbled paper in her hand, she took a step onto the platform and looked towards the sky. Carry me. The winged craft began to roar its engines as she slipped in the white headphones hoping the unwanted memories would remain in the house she left long ago. What was a home if no one occupied it? The soft music hummed in her ears as she let each note hold onto a bit of her burden. When she opened her eyes all of it would be whisked away in the storm that was making its way into Oikawa’s mind.
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It took several days for him to return. Bed hopping from girl to girl and one night alone with his thoughts in the office. That night he spent to himself, he decided maybe now was the time to get serious. She would surely forgive him like always and welcome him into her warm arms. When he opened the battered door, the coldness of the apartment stung his skin. It felt more and more empty as he looked around. Little things were missing but he couldn’t place exactly what. Everything was how he remembered but also not at the same time. He shakily walked into the bedroom, the setup looked normally but before he fully opened the drawer, he knew they were only half filled. So that’s what it was . The pictures of them were no longer in their frames, her toothbrush was missing from the cup, and pounding in his heart echoed into the walls. The sound mimicked the cries that soaked in days before, but no one other than the structure could hear the melancholy symphony that penetrated in.
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She was awakened by the passenger next to her that she had accidentally fallen asleep on. Thankfully he let her rest and did not question her puffy eyes or the tear soaked circle on his shoulder. He even helped her get her bag down from the storage above their seats. Looking him up and down, she took note of his muscular build and his dark brown locks that fell forward once he handed her her things. They walked out the bustling building together and talked along the way to the taxi waiting area. His voice was deep but smooth. Once he was able to hail one down for her, she looked at his dark brown eyes and smiled. “Thank you.” The first words she spoke in the new city were fitting for the past she was trying to run from. The next few days were spent redecorating the small studio she was able to find near her new job. Memories flashed in her head as she pulled out different things from her luggage but as she placed each item in her new home, she pushed away the thoughts of what could’ve been. A month beforehand she told him about the new job, but she was met with one-word replies as he gawked at someone else across the restaurant. That night before she left, she happened to find the box tucked under the bed. From letters to pictures to another cellphone to the light fabric; every bit of her hurt but didn’t. He was more upset about her ‘snooping in his things’ than actually hurting her. Every sign told her run; however, that box harbored the flashing lights that told her she was at the end.
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The phone on his nightstand came to life, erratically buzzing until he finally decided to pick up. “What?” His voice was raspy and barely audible, sounding as if it would break at any moment. “Dude, where have you been?” Silence was the only response he could give. “You have to get up. I warned you (y/n) wouldn’t put up with your antics forever. This is your own fault.” He grimaced at the sound of her name. It rolled off his friend’s tongue so easily but pierced his heart with the weight of everything he had done. “Can you at least get the door? It’s cold out here.” His feet thudded on the ground as his lead body stumbled to find his way out of the bedroom. When he opened the door, his heart sank. He knew it was his friend, but part of him hoped her silhouette would be waiting for him. “Why did you come here Hajime?” The scowling man furrowed his brows even further. “You haven’t said anything since you sent that damn message.” Thinking back, Oikawa couldn’t remember what he said or when he had sent anything. “Here idiot.” A bright phone screen was shoved in his face with the words She’s gone sprawled on the screen. The sharp tinge in his chest was back. His friend shoved his way in and placed a bag on the kitchen table. He looked around before sighing, “She even emptied the frames of you guys. Harsh.” Right, we did have those photos up. How did I forget? He trembled at the thought of her missing from his life. “Where did she even go? WOAH DUDE. Go sit down.” Iwaizumi hobbled his former teammate to the couch. His best friend’s sobs were more than enough of an answer. In fact, he knew where she had gone. She mentioned it over dinner when the whole team had gotten back together at the couple’s apartment. But he knew that his friend should find the answer on his own. Even if the memory was buried deep in his mind. Even if he was hurt by his own selfishness.