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“Edamura?” His trance was broken and he was brought back to his reality: sitting at a marble dinner table alone. Except he wasn’t alone. His gaze followed the voice and his eyes met with Akemi Suzaku. Edamura frowned, upset that his company during his meal was her. He had been living with her for a month after Cynthia and Abby were killed. That same day, he killed his own father. Somewhere along the way, Akemi became his half-boss, half-mother. He wasn’t quite sure what she was to him; he didn’t want to think about it, really.
There wasn’t much he wanted to think about right now. His life went from being exciting to having no meaning at all. He pushed the peas on his dinnerplate with his fork, giving Akemi a half-hearted “I’m listening.” She sighed, deciding that it wasn’t worth pressing. She continued to eat her meal, cutting her steak into a small cube before eating it. It was silent at the dinner table.
Edamura finished up quickly, thanking Akemi for the meal before taking his plate to the sink. He threw out the leftover food and washed his plate obediently before walking up the stairs into his room. His appetite hasn’t came back yet. After not eating for three days, he thought he would never choose to go hungry again, but these days he preferred the feeling of his empty stomach. It felt better than the constant hollowness in his heart.
He took a seat at the foot of his bed and deflated, resting his hands on his head. He rubbed small circles into his temples, trying to think about anything. His eyes jumped around his room, looking for something to focus on. On most nights, he’d find something to push his energy on until he passed out. He’d stare at his tiny laptop screen until his eyes stung, working on documents for the trading company until morning. Or sometimes he’d study his Chinese so he could translate better. He hardly ever slept, only closing his eyes when his body forced him to. Everything he did to pass the time was for Akemi, it seemed. She gave him a purpose. A reason to continue fighting. A rock to support himself on. After she helped the con artist at his lowest, Edamura decided that he’d devote his life to her.There wasn’t much else to live for anymore.
It seemed like there was nothing to spend his energy on tonight, though. Defeated, Edamura forced himself up and walked to the side of his room, opening his curtain. Behind it was a glass door leading to a small balcony overlooking the garden. The moon was bright tonight, and the view was further improved by the thousands of twinkling stars sprinkled in the dark sky; the sky called to Edamura, seducing him with the dance of the stars above. It’d be a waste if he didn’t watch them, right? Only for a little-- until he knew what he wanted to do. Edamura opened the sliding door and shivered as the cold winter hit him. He wrapped his arms around him and took a seat at one of the lawnchairs. They came in a set; sometimes Akemi would come in his room at night and watch the stars. She’d invite the boy to watch with her, but he’d always shut her down by saying that he was focusing on his work. Perhaps he should invite her now.
“Hey,” Edamura heard. It was a quiet voice, like they were trying to yell but they couldn’t. Confused, he looked around the large backyard. “Edamame, over here!” Edamame… That nickname could only mean…
“What are you doing here!?” Edamura whisper-yelled back, standing up from his seat. On the lawn, sitting underneath a willow tree was Laurent, a smug smile on his face. His hair was a little longer than Edamura remembered.
“Hey to you too,” he said, his voice almost happy. “Come down here!”
Edamura let out a noise of confusion. He cocked his head to the side and his eyebrow twitched. What did he mean ‘come down here?’ Did he even know where they were? “What do you mean?” Edamura asked, confusion in his voice. “Why are you even here?”
“I’ll explain it if you come down!” Laurent responded. Son of a bitch. Edamura thought for a little. He hadn’t seen Laurent since they first tried to break Abby out from the smugglers; when Edamura decided he wanted to bring the rest of the kids, their plan was thwarted and Laurent sent Cynthia to pick all of them up next time. Come to think of it, the last time he saw Laurent, Abby and Cynthia were alive. His heart sank and the pain in his stomach grew.
“I don’t want to see your face,” Edamura responded. He grabbed onto the railing, his knuckles turning white with how hard he was holding it. “Why would I want to see you right now? Why are you here?” The more he went on, the more his voice cracked. He could feel his resolve breaking. The walls that took a month to put up were slowly falling down. “Do you know… what you’ve done to me?”
Laurent couldn’t find a snarky comeback to give Edamura. He was right. He hadn’t seen Edamura in a long time. Of course, Abby and Cynthia were back in Tokyo, preparing for the next phases of their con, but they hadn’t told Edamura that. To the Japanese man, Laurent abandoned ship. “I know you’re mad,” he started.
“You don’t know shit!” Edamura cut him off, venom in his word. It hurt to answer him. Not a physical pain, but one much worse. A pain he forgot he could experience. “You weren’t there. You didn’t see them… Th-they’re dead… I killed them…” Edamura started choking up on his words and for the first time in his life, Laurent didn’t feel the need to one-up him. It was obvious that this con was taking a toll on him. Edamura finished, but Laurent couldn’t find the words to say. For a second, all that was heard between the two of them was the wind and Edamura’s failed attempts to hide his tears.
“Come down,” Laurent finally settled on. He looked up at his partner, and his eyebrows were furrowed out of concern. “Let’s talk.” He left it at that; there wasn’t anything else he could say. To Edamura, he was the worst person. He left the three of them to fend for themselves. Laurent held his hand up, as if to extend it to Edamura. Edamura stared down at him for a few long seconds before sighing. He walked inside his room and closed his window.
Laurent frowned in defeat, scratching the back of his neck. “I guess i deserved that,” the blond said to himself. He felt bad (yes, it was possible for him to feel bad). Despite knowing everything going on, he felt like he was doing Edamura a disservice keeping him in the dark. All his suffering would go away if he let him in on the plan, but that would put him in danger. What if he messed up and said something? What if he accidentally revealed their plan? There were too many factors that could go wrong; it was better to let as few people as possible know.
He stood up from the cold grass and wiped his pants for any dirt before turning around to leave the estate. He made it a few steps until he heard a sliding glass door open-- this one was closer to him. He turned his head and saw Makoto standing on the backyard porch, a blanket draped around his shoulders. His eyebrows were furrowed. “What do you want?” Edamura coldly asked, but despite the malice in his voice, Laurent couldn’t help but smile.
Laurent walked up the porch steps until they were face to face. They were a few feet apart now, but even though they’ve been partners on different cons before, it felt foreign. As if they weren’t supposed to see each other. Edamura sat down on the side of one of the patio couches; Laurent took the opposite side. he grabbed a pillow and held it to his chest, squeezing it. He looked at Edamura, who faced forward, refusing to return his gaze. “What did you want to talk about?” He repeated. Laurent’s words escaped him, and he continued to stare at the boy, unsure of what to say next. After a little bit of silence, Edamura continued.
“You’re the worst,” he stated.
“I know,” Laurent agreed. His voice lacked his normal confidence.
“Like, you’re the shittiest person I’ve ever met,” Edamura continued.
“I know.”
“Human scum. Garbage of the earth. The lowest of the low.”
There was a pause. Edamura finally looked over to see Laurent with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face. “I know,” he finally spat out, his voice cracking. There was more silence again. Edamura’s cheeks grew a little flushed; he’d never seen this side of Laurent before. Was he alright? He turned to face forward again, sitting in the slight tension between two ex-partners reuniting for the first time.
Laurent wiped his face with his hand. “Here,” he heard. He turned to Edamura; he was still refusing to look at him, but he held out the blanket. “Use this as a tissue. Or if you don’t want to do that, use it to wrap yourself up.”
Laurent sniffled, taking a moment to recompose. “I’m fine,” he said, shaking his head. “You should have it. It’s cold.”
“Yeah, well, you’re the one who was outside this whole time. I’m perfectly fine, so just take it.” Laurent let out a small laugh as he took the blanket. It seemed like deep down, Edamura couldn’t be mad at the blond. It was silent again, and the two men looked away from each other; it was as if they were scared to talk. What would they even talk about? “ How’s it been since our friends have died?” “I’ve been well, how are you grieving?” “Actually, we’re all alive and fine and we’re keeping it a secret from you!” As if.
Edamura was the first to break the ice. “How’s everything been with you?” He asked, his head tilted up to look at the night sky. Laurent looked at the boy and was a bit confused. He seemed a lot stronger. Not physically, but mentally. He probably grew since the last time they met; he definitely grew since the first time.
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Laurent asked, chuckling. Edamura didn’t laugh, but a small smile was on his face.
“Well you didn’t ask, so I thought I should ask you first.”
“I’m good, thank you,” Laurent finally answered. “I hope you’re doing well, too.”
Edamura finally looked his way. Laurent’s eyes were bloodshot red and, now that they were closer, he could tell that his hair was a mess. He hadn’t been sleeping since he’s been spending all his awake time planning the next phase of their plan, but to Edamura, he was probably suffering as much as he was. “I’ve been better,” he answered. There was silence again, and for a second, it felt like the tension was back. But then Laurent couldn’t help but laugh at how awkward they were being; they were acting like two shy middle schoolers, too scared to make the first move. This time, Edamura laughed with him.
As the night went on, they continued to talk. The initial awkwardness had since gone away, and they were bantering as if nothing was wrong. It felt like they weren’t on a mission together, but like they were on a secret vacation together during their off day. Edamura hadn’t felt this free in a long time. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was with Laurent or if it was because he finally had someone to talk to; to be honest, he didn’t care why. He was just glad that for a moment, everything felt normal.
Their conversations happened in small spurts. They wouldn’t spend too long on a topic, and once they finished what they were talking about, they would sit in silence, taking in the view. The porchlights had turned on, so now they could see the grand backyard in all its glory. The flowerbed with all the daises Akemi liked. The brick path that seemed to go on forever. The little planter boxes that held all the vegetable plants. To Edamura, the backyard has never looked quite this magical before.
They talked about the weather and how it’s getting colder. Edamura said that there was no heater in the office and that he was worried about the kids that were still stuck inside the building. Laurent suggested that he got extra blankets or something to help them, but Edamura shot the idea down, saying that that he tried already and Akemi wouldn’t budge.
They talked about Kudo and Shi-won; apparently they’ve been hanging out more ever since they unofficially joined Team Confidence. They would leave in the middle of the evening and wouldn’t come back until late at night, sometimes until the next morning. Laurent asked if Kudo was like this when they were hustling together in Japan. Edamura mentioned that he was like that to any woman that would pay him some attention.
They talked about their memories of Cynthia and Abby. This part hurt Edamura, but even though Laurent knew they were alive, it somehow seemed to hurt him more. As Edamura told the blond about the memories they shared together in Singapore and London, he could hear his voice break. Edamura paused to take a second, but nevertheless, he continued to share happy times that he had with the both of them. Stories that Laurent had never heard: Edamura and Abby riding the ferris wheel together before Abby got to fly the plane during her races. Edamura dealing with drunk Cynthia as she babbled about her love life until early in the morning. The two of them yelling at Edamura for every small thing he did. It all seemed like trivial moments, but to Edamura, they were things he’d cherish forever.
Laurent wanted nothing more than to offer him a shoulder to cry on. He wanted to tell them they were okay and that everything was going to plan. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t possibly show it, but he wanted to cry with him too.
Eventually, Laurent’s supposed-to-be quick visit turned into an hour-long catchup session. The phone in his pocket buzzed for the fifth time; it was probably Cynthia, telling him to finally wrap it up. Team Confidence was rapidly approaching their next stage, so Oz needed all hands on deck. That meant that all their free time would be spent constructing, practicing, and surveillancing. In a few hours, Laurent had a plane ride back to China to gather intel and move everything along overseas. He put his hands on his knees, not looking forward to what he was going to say.
Edamura was finally warming up to him again. His face was much less tense, and he quietly hummed a tune as he watched the stars above him. Laurent couldn’t possibly tell him now, right? First Abby and Cynthia were gone, and now he had to leave too? Guilt washed over him, and Edamura probably sensed it as he turned to face his partner. “Something the matter?” he asked.
Laurent stumbled on his words. “N-nothing. I’m good,” he cooly got out.
Edamura chuckled. there was a genuine smile on his face. Laurent hadn’t seen that smile in ages. “C’mon,” Edamura pressed. “You can tell me.”
Laurent sighed. “Promise you won’t be mad?” Edamura nodded cautiously and Laurent continued. “I have to go,” he said.
Edamura blinked. “That’s it?” He asked, confused. Obviously Laurent would have to leave sometime. It was getting late, and if he stayed for long, he risked being caught by Akemi. “Obviously you have to go.
“No like…”Laurent started. He froze up, unsure of how to finish his sentence. “I have to go somewhere. I won’t be back for a while.”
Edamura looked at the blond. “You’re leaving me?” He asked. his eyebrows drooped and it seemed like his walls were rapidly coming back up. Laurent couldn’t possibly answer, so he gave the younger man a quiet nod. “Like… for good?”
Laurent opened his mouth, but he wasn’t sure how to answer. “Well not for good… but…”
“A long time,” Edamura finished. Laurent nodded again, his lips pursed. As he continued to speak, Edamura’s face contorted more and more. It took everything in Laurent not to cry, and even then, it felt like a tear was threatening to spill out at any second.
“Will you be back soon?” Edamura tried.
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I mean…” Laurent paused. It was now or never.He looked away from Edamura and at the stars. As an added measure, he closed his eyes too. Maybe it would be easier if he didn’t look at him. “I mean I need to do something important right now. And that means I need to go away for a little bit. So you won’t see me for a long time, probably.” After he finished, he opened his eyes and turned to face Edamura. Tears were streaming down his face. Fuck.
“So you’re leaving me,” Edamura spat out. “I killed my teammates and let everyone down and you’re leaving me.” Laurent raised his hand to grab onto his shoulder, but Edamura slapped it away. “I fucked up. I ruined the con and now you’re moving on.” He vented. The tears that were swelling in Laurent’s eyes started to spill too.
“It’s not like that,” Laurent started, but Edamura cut him off again.
“But it is,” he insisted. “You need to find better con artists. someone who isn’t a rookie who won’t let you down.”
“You didn’t let me down.”
“I did!” Edamura yelled. Laurent backed up for a second, shocked at his outburst. “I got Abby and Cynthia killed! I made that decision! That was my mistake!” Edamura probably should have seen this coming. Why would Laurent want to partner up with someone who made this bad of a mistake? It wasn’t like they were partners or anything; Team Confidence always said they were lone wolves. Still, it stung. A part of him wanted to believe that Laurent would see past this mistake. That Laurent still needed Edamura to play a role for him, and he wanted so badly to play it. He looked at Laurent with pleading eyes. His lips forced themselves to smile. “I’m sorry…”
Laurent was sobbing now. He hadn’t felt this bad since he had lost Dorothy. Oh, he thought. He must feel guilty just like you did. How selfish Laurent was to let Edamura shoulder all the blame for himself. But what could he say to him to console him without telling him what they were planning? “You don’t understand,” Laurent tried, his voice cracking.
It was silent for a second. Defeated, Edamura looked at the willow tree. He focused on the slight sways of the branches and how sometimes, the wind would take one of the leaves away. He furrowed his eyebrows to act strong, but his hands were tightly balled as if he would unravel by the seams if he let that grip go. His body was slightly shaking but Laurent wasn’t sure if it was because of his emotions or the weather. “Just go…” Edamura finally said.
Laurent knew there was nothing that he could say to convince Edamura that he had it wrong. That stubbornness of his was his Achile’s heel, but Laurent couldn’t say that he was any different. Reaching into his suit pocket, Laurent fished out his-- no, Dorothy’s-- ring and put it down on the cushion between them. He couldn’t look at Edamura head-on, so he spoke to the stars. “This is a good luck charm for you, whenever you feel like you’re alone.” He paused, a tear rolling down his cheek. More salty tears fell, pooling at his chin before dropping onto the wood floor. He didn’t bother to wipe them up. “I’m sorry I can’t help you now,” he said before standing up.
He walked to the back of the garden before hopping the fence. Across the block was a black van with its lights turned off; Cynthia was in the driver’s seat. Laurent opened the door and the lights inside the car turned on, showing how wrecked Laurent was. She couldn’t ask him how the blond was holding up. She already knew the answer.
As the car quietly drove off, Edamura was still seated on the couch. He reached over and picked up the ring. “A good luck charm for when you feel like you’re alone,” he repeated, holding the ring up to his face. He stayed there for a little longer, watching the stars as he rubbed the blue jewel on the ring. The tears stopped eventually, but he still was shivering a bit. It was probably time to head inside. Quietly, he opened the sliding door and made his way into the living room. He turned the corner, slowly climbed the stairs, and opened the door into his room before crashing onto his bed.
He woke up late the next morning. In his right hand was the ring. Edamura squinted, adjusting his eyes to the bright light that illuminated his room. He yawned and sat up on his bed. Bits and pieces of last night came back into his memory. He frowned. Why was that the first thing he had to think about? He hated waking up sad. That thought was quickly replaced by another one, though; something he hated more than waking up sad was waking up hungry. Edamura walked down the stairs to join Akemi for breakfast.