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Ethari sighed as he tossed and turned beneath his covers. He had always had trouble sleeping alone, even before he married Runaan but right now felt a hundred times worse than any time before.
Tiadrin, Lain, and Runaan had only been freed from their coins a few weeks ago but it already felt like an eternity had passed, and yet, it felt like no time had passed at all simultaneously. All three were having difficulty adjusting back to life even now, with Tiadrin somehow managing to forget how to properly walk down stairs and Lain now seemed shocked every time he touched some sort of object. However, despite those two having been in their prisons longer, Ethari was more concerned about Runaan's mental state. The assassin had nearly lost his arm, did lose a horn, and was still recovering from the treatment he had underwent as a prisoner. The self starvation bit had completely messed up his stomach so he could only drink broth and juices throughout the day instead of eating normal foods, and his arm was already scarring from how deep that ribbon had cut. If it had gotten any tighter there would have been no saving it. Ethari didn't let himself think about how well Runaan would do if he had actually lost his arm after all this, instead he always refocused back on how Runaan was doing now. Despite everything, the assassin talked about his arm and his time in the dark mage's dungeon without hesitation. What made him tense and tremble was the touch.
As soon as Ethari had seen him for the first time, he had pulled Runaan into a hug but the moment he did he felt the way Runaan stilled. Frozen like a statue, until the shaking started. Ethari had let go, but the damage had been done, and Runaan had spiraled into an attack shortly after. Ethari had kept his distance after that, but it was Runaan who approached as soon as he was released from the healer's hut. He had asked Ethari if he could sleep alone until Runaan adjusted back to normal life, and of course Ethari said yes.
And so it had been. Three weeks now, though the days were beginning to fade into one another as Ethari himself lost more and more sleep every night. Often times, he would wake up in a cold sweat, rushing down to the fountain with a rising dread that perhaps everything had been a dream, and Runaan was actually gone.
Tonight had been one of those nights. However, instead of calming down pretty quickly as soon as Ethari saw the resurfaced flower floating peacefully on the water, like he had before, this time he ended up breaking down at the fountain's edge. Days of exhaustion building up to this one, key moment but even when Ethari managed to settle himself again, he didn't sleep. He tried, even assuring himself again by checking on Runaan in the guest bedroom before he laid down once again in their own room, but sleep never came.
Hours later, and he was finally about to give up. Maybe go downstairs and work on the bowblade replica some more. He tensed, though, when there was a quiet soft knock on the door. Of course, Ethari looked over, and the frustration melted when he saw the figure of his husband standing in the doorway. He wore one of Ethari's night shirts, as he hadn't owned night shirts of his own before this and he now refused to go without a top after his time in the mage's custody, but his arms were held tightly against his chest even still. One folded on top of the other, with the top gently pinching at the scabbing area on his upper arm, where the bind had been. His hair was tied up into a bun to keep it out of his face, but some strands still made it free and rested over his shoulder and down his back. His eyes were just as tired as Ethari felt, even as they seemed to glow in the dark.
"I noticed you were awake." The assassin murmured quietly as soon as Ethari looked up. It was uncharacteristic of Runaan how the assassin shifted on his feet. "I wanted to make sure you were alright."
Ethari hesitated far too long in answering. His ears drooped, and even has he sat up his hands fidgeted with the blanket as he thought about his answer. Honestly he wasn't, but surely his own concerns were not as big as Runaan's... "I'm okay," Ethari finally assured, offering a pained smile. "I just..." He sniffled, wiping away a few stray tears. Since when had he started crying again?
"...Thought everything that happened had just been a dream?" Runaan finished for him, resting against the doorway with his own grim expression now. Ethari could only give a small nod. That was enough for Runaan to continue "I understand that far too well." Runaan agreed, finally making his way to the bed as well. Ethari froze in shock when Runaan sat down, then gently pulled Ethari into a hug he didn't try to resist. "Each time I wake up, I feel it is some trick the mage has tried to pull in order to gain some sort of information. I sometimes spend hours alone trying to remember where I am when I wake up in a bed alone... It's difficult. But understandable." Ethari relaxed when he felt Runaan rest his forehead against his shoulder.
"You could come back to laying with me." Ethari offered hopefully. The shaking was starting again, but Runaan wasn't showing any other signs of being alarmingly close to his attacks. He was just... shaking. Then Ethari felt something wet against his shoulder as Runaan's own shoulders shook. A soft gasp. Then another. Finally a sob. Runaan was crying. Ethari hesitantly pulled the assassin against him more firmly. "It's alright, I'm here." He assured as quietly as he could.
Runaan's grip tightened. "I thought I would never see you again." The assassin whispered, his trembling only getting worse as he practically hunched into himself while pressing completely against Ethari now. "I promised you I would return your heart to you, then everything went wrong.."
Ethari held Runaan tighter now, listening but saying nothing. This had been a long time coming, after all. They had hardly talked since Runaan was released, after all. Once Runaan went quiet but for a few hiccups, Ethari began to gently run a hand through the assassin's hair, letting it down from the bun then coming through it with his fingers, resuming in his quiet assurances until Runaan gave a shudder and fully relaxed. "It's been rough." Ethari finally murmured, his own voice feeling breathy yet forced from the building pressure behind his eyes. But no, he wasn't going to cry now. "But it's alright, We're safe, everyone is okay. For now, all we need to do is settle down and recover. Rest. Can you try that for me?"
There was hesitation, then Runaan slowly nodded, looking up with puffy red eyes, then shuddering and going to lay down. Ethari shifted under the covers, pulling them over both of them then settling against Runaan's back, and gently wrapped his arms around the assassin's waist. He watched in astonishment how Runaan seemed to fall asleep immediately, pressing a single hand over one of Ethari's, then with a quiet "Thank you" the assassin was out.
Ethari managed a smile, even as the pressure behind his eyes broke, and he fell apart against Runaan's back, sobbing quietly while Runaan slept. It would be alright. They were safe and home.
It would be a long road for everything to go back to normal but for now, all he could do was rest and hope the closeness would help not only him but his husband too.
With a final tear shed, he pulled Runaan closer to himself, and fell asleep shortly after.