Actions

Work Header

Head Injury

Summary:

"A perplexed look joined the hurt, anger, and confusion on his face. “What does that have to do with anything?” He demanded. His words still hurt, but it was obvious that the bite in them was a mask for how he was really feeling.

“I - I tried to heal you, but ... it - you weren’t injured - you didn’t bump your head. It wasn’t physical damage, it was...” Katara paused, incredibly uncomfortable. “... It was your memories. All your worst memories.” She paused again. “And I ... I saw them.”

Zuko could feel flames itching to escape from his palms. His fire was always strongest when he was emotional, and the news that Katara, his former enemy, and someone who he was desperately trying to earn the trust of, had witnessed all of his weakest, most damaging, traumatic moments - had seen him at his most vulnerable, most shameful, was an emotional slap in the face. He was thankful that his wrists were tied.

Instead of fire, he channeled his anger into a loud, biting, “WHAT?!” He tasted smoke in his mouth. A little fire did escape after all."
 
Katara thinks Zuko has a head injury and tries to heal him. In doing so, she has access to all of Zuko’s memories, and they aren’t happy.

Notes:

The only reason I wrote this was because I couldn't get this idea out of my head, but then I ended up with 11,000 words so I'm basically posting this with the mindset of "huh, it was entertaining to write, maybe it will be entertaining to read."

(See the end of the work for more notes and other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Chapter Text

The Gaang was sitting around their campfire eating dinner when Toph perked up. “Did anyone else hear that?” She asked. A chorus of “no” echoed around the circle. Toph really wasn’t sure if she’d heard it or felt it — the senses tended to blend together for her — but she could tell something big had just collided with the earth. It had been faint, but enough to pique her interest. She said as much and beckoned the rest of the group to follow her. 

 

They trekked up the air temple and into the forest above, Toph leading the way with her magic feet. She could sense it getting closer and was starting to be able to detect what it was made out of. Mostly metal, which confused her because it felt too light to be made of metal. There was cloth also, and heat. Sokka wrinkled his nose. “It smells like smoke!” He complained. 

 

“That must mean we’re getting close!” Aang added, ever the optimist. 

 

Eventually, as the smoke plume became more obvious and visible, Sokka took the lead away from Toph, citing his “warrior instincts” in the event of potential danger. As they finally came upon the clearing where the scene was, all eyes grew wide. A mangled metal frame lay before them, accented by shreds of red fabric. Everyone recognized it as a Fire Nation war balloon. 

 

The group tiptoed around it on high alert. This meant that Fire Nation soldiers could be anywhere. Sokka was the first to venture closer to the steaming wreckage. This emboldened the others to do the same. 

 

Katara moved a piece of metal and gasped. The others crowded round. There was black and ivory among the lumps of red and grey wreckage. The material was different too. As opposed to cloth or metal, this thing was ... ? Oh no. This thing was no thing. This thing was a Fire Nation soldier. He lay face down among the wreckage of his ship, large burns covering his back and torso. His legs were still hidden underneath the wreckage. Was that the furnace? The engine? He must have been standing in front of it when the ship went down. Sokka realized with horror that that was probably where the burns came from. Hot coals from the furnace must’ve showered him when the ship lurched. 

 

“Is ... is he alive?” Katara asked cautiously, looking at Toph. 

 

“Just barely.”  The earthbender replied, “He won't be for much longer without help, though.” 

 

Katara's face looked conflicted. She still looked conflicted as she grabbed the man underneath his armpits and dragged him from the wreckage. He felt incredibly light to her and when she got his entire body free from the debris she realized just how small he was. Scrawny, lean, probably just a boy. She hated the Fire Nation even more. 

 

Taking a deep breath, she flipped him over. A scarred face met her gaze. 

 

“Zuko!” She cried and pulled back. The hand that had been cradling the back of his head pulled out from underneath him and his head landed ungracefully in the dirt. 

 

Katara assumed a fighting stance. She discovered with a panic that her waterskins were not at their usual place on her back (she must’ve left them back at camp after making dinner, what an idiot!) She would have to go it without them this time. It took her a few seconds to realize that Zuko wasn’t moving, or in fact reacting in any way to what was going on around him. 

 

Katara blinked, unsure of what to do. She surveyed the faces of her team. Toph looked interested but not invested. Sokka was scratching his head with his boomerang, no doubt as confused as his sister. And Aang, well, he looked concerned. 

 

“Katara, we have to help him!” He blurted. 

 

Katara crossed her arms. “Absolutely not. He can die here and rot for all I care. He is not coming with us. His Fire Nation cronies are probably looking for him as we speak. We need to get back to camp, pack up, and move somewhere else as fast as we can. We’re clearly not safe from Ozai here.” She was thinking out loud with that plan, but said it as firmly as though it were chiseled in stone. 

 

“But Katara -“ 

 

She cut Aang off. “I know I let you save him once in the North Pole, but that clearly didn’t mean anything to him. Did you forget how you literally died in Ba Sing Se because of him? Nope. Not gonna happen. Now come on, let’s see what we can scavenge from his ship and get going. We’re wasting time already.” 

 

With a groan, Sokka rummaged through parts and debris from the ship. He wasn’t finding much, and from the sounds of his colleagues, they weren’t either. That is, until his hand brushed what felt like canvas and leather. He pushed aside some metal and discovered a sack full of what he assumed to be Zuko's personal belongings. Part of him felt bad for poking through someone else’s private things, but he had to remind himself that Zuko was the enemy. 

 

He didn’t find much. There were some clothes (Fire Nation red, of course) a bedroll (imperial quality ) some meager food rations (rice, mostly) a small cooking pot (practical) a map (score!) a pouch filled with Fire Nation coins (I wonder how much is in here) and, for some reason, a single well-worn sandal that reeked of Fire Nation feet. (just, what???)

 

Putting the items back in the bag, Sokka heard Toph announce, “Hey! I found something!” He got up and observed. The blind girl was drawing a sword from a sheath. The strap on the sheath showed that it was clearly meant to be worn over the shoulder. As Toph exposed the silver blade, her unseeing eyes widened. “Woah, there’s two!” She said, intrigued. Sokka was interested to hear that, as he’d never seen Zuko wield so much as a single sword, and had never seen anyone using twin blades before. He moved closer to the earthbender and looked at the set. 

 

“Zuko studied with Piandao?” Sokka was intrigued to see his swordsmanship teacher’s insignia engraved on to the sheath. Both swords had engravings to match. “I guess you get nice things when you’re prince of the Fire Nation.” Remarked Toph, running a finger along one of the blades. 

 

“Toph, put those back, they’re dangerous. We can take a closer look at them when we’re safe.” Katara wasn’t asking. Uncharacteristically for Toph, she listened to the waterbender and sheathed the blades, setting them aside to continue searching through the debris (and totally not to practice a little metalbending in the process). 

 

“I found something too, but it's no good. I think its just his stuff.” Sokka added. “Let me see it.” Insisted Katara and she dug through it roughly. “I guess we can use some of this stuff.” She deemed after a bit and set the bag next to the swords. 

 

“Shouldn’t we get someone to search him?” Asked Toph. “I mean, he might have some rich Fire Nation goodies in his pockets.” 

 

“You’re right,” agreed Katara. Sokka, being the closest to the lifeless prince, assumed the duty and patted him down in search of any “rich Fire Nation goodies” he might have hidden on his person. His front pocket yielded a small compass (nice!) . His pants pockets were empty save for some red lint, but he wore a dagger on his hip. That would be useful. Sokka took a closer look at the ivory knife and noticed a small inscription. “Made in Earth Kingdom.” Huh. He flipped it over in his hands and saw a much larger, more prominent inscription. “Never give up without a fight.” That sure sounded like Zuko, Sokka thought. He thought, for a moment, that this dagger must be very important to him if he lived by its message so intensely, and again, felt a pang of guilt at what he was doing. 

 

But he couldn’t let guilt distract him. “He’s got a compass and a dagger,” Sokka told his group, “The dagger says  ‘Never give up without a fight’.” 

 

“Typical firebender, all they know how to do is fight. Fight and destroy and kill and burn .” Katara's eyes blazed dark with hate. 

 

“You guys, I don't think we should be doing this.” Aang piped up. He hadn’t been participating in Operation Loot Zuko’s Ship and had been visibly upset since discovering the scene. “And why is that?” Katara asked, bitingly. 

 

“Because I - I ... I think he came out here alone. I mean, we haven’t seen any evidence of other Fire Nation soldiers or warships in the area, and they aren’t exactly subtle. We haven’t even seen any evidence of a second person on his ship. I mean, look at how he packed. One bedroll, one set of clothes, food rations for one, I seriously think he might be acting alone here.” 

 

Katara had been expecting some pacifist monk philosophy that she could write off, and she didn’t like this answer instead. “Why?!” She snapped. “Why would he leave by himself to go capture you when he could have the full power of the Fire Nation behind him? Huh? Answer me that!” 

 

Aang looked hurt and Katara already was starting to regret her sharp words. “I don’t know...” he admitted, looking down. “But I know that if we leave him here, he really doesn’t have anyone coming to save him. I can’t live with that.” 

 

“You can’t live with him coming along with us either, because he’ll kill you!”

 

“Does he really look that dangerous to you right now?” Aang stared down at his lifeless body, slitted eyes, mouth slightly open, skin badly burned. He smelled like singed hair. 

 

“Well, no, but he is certainly gonna be dangerous when he wakes up!” 

 

“Please, Katara. As bad of a person as he may be, he doesn’t deserve to die. I know it's hard to trust him, especially for you, but please. Trust me .”

 

His big grey eyes had more pleading in them than ever, and even Katara had to relent. “Fine.” She said. “But he is already on thin, thin, ice!”

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Chapter Text

Sokka was surprised at how light the firebender was. He expected to be sweating and fatigued by the time he laid him down at camp, but his muscles were barely sore as he gently set the prince down on his Fire Nation bedroll. 

 

He found it was too awkward trying to pull his shirt off, too difficult to properly position unconscious arms and wrangle it over his unconscious head, not to mention trying to be careful of his burns. Eventually he gave up and, silently apologizing to whoever crafted such a beautiful and high quality silk, cut the fabric with Zukos “never give up without a fight” dagger and ripped it. 

 

Now it was Katara’s turn. She begrudgingly summoned water from her now handy waterskin and held it over his chest as it began to glow blue. She had to admit, as much as she hated Zuko, she had never worked on a firebender before. His chi paths were interesting and different than that of the other three nations. She almost enjoyed herself, exploring and discovering the different ways his body worked, how it used energy differently. 

 

Waterbender chi is in the blood. The natural ebb and flow of waves and tides mirrors the natural beating of the heart. When a waterbender is in sync with their element, the water will move with the bender in an effort to maintain synchronization. 

 

Earthbender chi is in the bones. Toph had explained to her that the bones are your root to the earth and to yourself. They bridge the gap between an earthbender and their element. Their hardness makes them the closest thing to rock that an earthbender can control. And with strong enough chi, the earth will bend to the will of the bones. 

 

Airbender chi is in the nerves. She remembered healing Aang with the Spirit water, and his chi radiated from his head and spinal cord to the rest of his body, tingling bluish-white. She thought about what Aang looked like airbending, and concluded that the nerves were the body’s border with the air all around it. If the chi in that border was used correctly, it could manipulate the air beyond. 

 

As Katara worked, she found Zuko's chi centered on his lungs. Breath , she thought. Firebending must come from the breath. His stomach, and really all his organs, were radiating a golden-orange chi. That must be where his fire comes from. He must be able to convert the energy stored in his body into fire. She had to stop herself from appreciating how cool that was. He was Fire Nation and he was bad. Regardless of how his bending worked, he was bad. 

 

After a surface level examination, Katara determined that he was suffering from several third degree burns, two cracked ribs, and some kind of head injury. She healed the burns and ribs the best she could (they would take several sessions to be fixed completely) but when she went to tend to his head she paused. 

 

She’d never treated a head injury before. The brain was such a complex organ. It was so ... personal. Everybody’s lungs breathed air and everybody’s heart pumped blood. She knew how to ensure that they did that. But the brain ... she wasn’t even sure what it was like to heal someone’s brain. She had never tried it before. Would she be able to read his thoughts? Influence them? What about his memories? 

 

The brain controlled thoughts and consciousness, but it also controlled the rest of the body. What if she accidentally made his brain stop telling his heart to beat? What if she made it so that his brain could no longer tell his body to move? What if she paralyzed him? What if she were to accidentally take away his ability to bend? 

 

She returned the water to her waterskin, not touching his head. “Well?” Asked Toph. “What's the prognosis?” 

 

“He’s got some pretty serious burns and two cracked ribs. I did my best to heal them but I can only speed up the body’s own healing process, I can’t do it myself. It will probably take a few more sessions to get him back to normal.” Katara paused. “He ... I think he also might’ve bumped his head ... I don’t know how serious it is ... I’ve never tried to heal someone's mind before. I’m scared. I don’t even know what to do, not to mention what might happen if I mess it up.” 

 

“At least it’s Zuko,” Sokka suddenly said. “If you screw up his little jerkbender brain, it's not like we like him. Can you imagine if it was Aang? If you had to heal the Avatar’s brain? Then the weight of the world is really on your shoulders. But it’s not! Just the weight of one terrible jerkbender! You got this Katara, I believe in you.” 

 

Katara gave him a look with her awkward thanks and drew out her water over Zuko's forehead. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes. 



“Dad’s going to kill you. Really, he is.” 

 

Azula always lies, Azula always lies. 

 

“I love you, Zuko. Everything I’ve ever done, I’ve done to protect you. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are.”

 

“Where is she?” 

 

“What better to use as bait than fresh meat?” 

 

“Please, father, I didn’t mean any disrespect! I only had the Fire Nation’s best interests at heart! I am your loyal son, please forgive me!”

 

“You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.” 

 

“Prince Zuko, you are on a ship. You have been banished from the Fire Nation. You are only allowed to return once you have captured the Avatar.”

 

“But the Avatar hasn’t been seen for 100 years!”  

 

Katara reeled back screaming. She lost control of the water at her hands, leaving it to splash over Zuko's face. She started to stumble to her feet, to run away, but Sokka caught her. She crumpled to her knees again, crying. 

 

“Katara! What happened?!” 

 

“I saw everything!” She cried, letting loose a few sobs before continuing. “I - I saw - I felt - it was horrible!” 

 

Sokka rubbed her shoulders. “It’s alright, just take a few deep breaths, calm down.” 

 

“No! You don’t understand! I saw everything! Oh my god there was so much! Azula told me I was gonna die and Ozai burned my face and I was banished  and - and -“ Katara was starting to hiccup over her words and Sokka shushed her. 

 

“It's okay, it didn’t actually happen, you're okay” 

 

“I'm not touching him again!” 

 

“You don’t have to. Just focus on calming down. What do you need from us?” 

 

“I think - I think I just need to be by myself for a little bit.” 

 

“Okay, we’ll be here when you need us.”

 

“No, It’s fine. You guys can go to bed. I don’t think I’ll be getting a lot of sleep tonight.” Katara walked off, upset, and the rest of the group sat in shocked silence around Zuko's lifeless body. Slowly, they all slid into their bedrolls. All except Sokka, that is. He had opted to take first watch over the firebender.

Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Chapter Text

Sokka watched Zuko diligently, guarding his companions like the warrior he was. Any sign of life would be met with quick adversity. Unfortunately, there weren’t many signs of life. Aside from the shallow rise and fall of the firebenders chest, he was completely still. 

 

Sokka was unwilling to look away from his guard and so he busied his mind by taking in the fire prince’s features. He had noble blood, certainly. His nose was refined, not sharp but not soft. His cheekbones were high and his lips were thin, but not sickly. His eyes, Sokka could tell despite them being closed, were lethal. He recalled from memory the way his eyebrow(s) had contorted into a look so icy, sharp, calculating, cunning, and sure, almost sly, when they had met during battle and emotion steamed off the bender. One could tell he was quick thinking and deadly during conflict.

 

Sokka thought about that lethality with disgust. This man, no, this boy, (he was no older than Sokka himself) was nothing but deadly, lethal; a weapon. This boy was a weapon. Sokka hadn’t bothered trying to re-clothe the prince after Katara’s healing session, and now his chest lay bare and exposed to Sokka’s eyes. It was lean and muscular, and Sokka thought about his own, now inadequate feeling, body. At least Sokka wasn’t a weapon. Zuko’s chest and abs were well trained and well built, but as Sokka looked closer, he saw the scars that came with being weaponized. Burns from firebending, slashes from swordsmanship, bruises and broken bones from hand-to-hand combat. Sokka was glad that his body was as underwhelming as it was, because Prince Zuko had scars

 

It couldn’t have been easy to make him this wa y. No, he was Fire Nation. He was Ozai’s son for God’s sake! Nobody made him this way, he was born like this. Wasn’t he?

 

It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if he had been born or made, it didn’t matter if he had scars, none of those could change the past. Because the past showed that he was evil. And Sokka hated him

 

When morning came, Katara sat down to breakfast silently, even though the eyes of the group were on her. “Are you okay?” Asked Aang. “Better.” Said Katara, “But I can’t stop thinking about what I saw.” 

 

“What do you mean?” Asked Sokka, trying not to sound irritated, but nonetheless flustered at the sound of his sister taking pity on the firebender. 

 

“I saw some of his most traumatic memories, the things that hurt his head the most. They were really scary.”

 

“Yeah, right. He’s prince of the Fire Nation, what does he have to be scared of?”

 

“Ozai. Azula. Same as the rest of us.”

 

“His father and sister? Why would he be scared of them? He’s just like them!” 

 

“I know, I know, but when I saw his memories, I remember Azula telling - saying to me - him - Zuko, that ‘Dad is gonna kill you, really, he is.’ And then at night a woman came through the door, I think it was his mother, and told him that she loved him and to remember who he was. He was really young in that memory, I think it was the last time he saw her...” 

 

“So what? Azula was a mean sibling, check. And just because he lost his mom at an early age doesn’t mean he’s justified to do all the terrible things he did! I mean, we lost our mom and you don't see us trying to imprison the Avatar!” 

 

“But there's more. I also remember - well - he - he was in some kind of stadium, it looked like it was for fighting, and he was on his knees and crying and he kept saying he was sorry and how he was a loyal son and how he would never disrespect anyone or anything ever again, and Ozai just walked up to him and put his hand on his face and said, ‘You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.’ And then all I remember was screaming and fire...” 

 

That little anecdote was enough to shut Sokka up. In fact it was enough to completely silence the entire campsite, and three shocked faces stared at Katara with wide eyes. 

 

Katara had words falling out of her mouth now, she wasn’t done and she couldn’t stop. 

 

“He - we - woke up on a ship and some guy, I think it was his uncle? said that Zuko had been banished from the Fire Nation and would only be allowed to return once he’d captured the Avatar.” 

 

The silence continued. Got louder. Roared, even. 

 

Suddenly, Toph of all people decided to pipe up. “So that's why he chased you guys so ruthlessly. He didn’t care about the Avatar, he just wanted to be able to come home. He just wanted his dad to love him.” 

 

Katara nodded slowly. 

 

“So is that why he came out here?” Sokka asked, shaking himself from his shock and pity. His warrior brain gears were turning again. “He got to go home and Ozai thought that Aang was dead. Everything was finally looking up for him, and then we attacked. Zuko knows that if his dad finds out Aang is alive, he’ll lose it again, so he slipped out to finish the job while everyone was distracted by our attack!” 

 

“I guess that makes sense...” mumbled Katara. 

 

After breakfast, Sokka sat down next to Zuko with a huff. He never would have volunteered to watch Zuko last night if he knew he was gonna have to do it in the morning, too! But Katara was exhausted from healing and Toph needed Aang for training, so here he was. Back to back shifts staring at Prince Jerkbenders Jerkface. 

 

As the sun got higher in the sky, Sokka noticed a few minute movements coming from the firebender. His eyes would move under his eyelids. His face would twitch. His fingers would move. Must be getting close to waking up. Sokka had boomerang close by, but he would still feel safer if Team Avatar were at his side for this one. The light now shone on more than half the firebenders body, and he began to incorporate weak sounds in with his movements. A moan. A grunt. An incoherent mumble. Yeah, better get the rest of the jerkbenders over here. You know, just in case. 

 

“What is he doing?” Asked Toph, more in confusion than fear. 

 

“Rising with the sun.” Answered Aang. “He’s a firebender. Sunlight fuels his bending. He can lose it if he’s kept in the dark for too long. The sun gives him strength. The strength to bend, and in our case, the strength to wake up.”

 

“Wow, I never knew that firebenders can lose the ability to bend if kept away from the sun for too long.” Said Sokka. 

 

“I can imagine they don’t exactly advertise that fact.” Responded Aang. 

 

Meanwhile, Katara was leaning over the prince, examining his movements. The whole group started when Zuko's arms shot up to his face and assumed a defensive position. His hands began smoking and occasionally coughing out sparks as he weakly tried to fight off Katara. A cry of pain told the group that he had discovered his cracked ribs during the process. 

 

Katara backed off and left him to clutch his body in pain and roll onto his side, back facing them, groaning. 

 

“What did you do to him?” Sokka asked. Answering his question, Katara quietly leaned over the now semi-conscious Zuko and gave some of his scar tissue a little poke. 

 

This elicited quite a violent response from Zuko who, despite the pain his ribs must be causing him, sat up and attempted to send a whip of fire at her. He didnt get more than a fleeting flame, but it was stronger than it was a second ago and Katara decided that she needed to be more careful. She knew how unpredictable Zuko could be. 

 

“Who are you?! What do you want from me?!” He demanded as he forced himself to sit up, clutching his side as he did it. He looked like a cornered, wounded, dog. His eyes narrowed, darting around trying to figure out where he was. He even bared his teeth. 

 

His face softened into confused bewilderment when he saw the people around him. “Katara?” He asked. “Zuko.” She answered, a healthy amount of spite in her tone. His face hardened again. “What is this.” He demanded. “You crashed your war balloon. You were going to lay there and die but Aang insisted we save you.” Katara gestured to the airbender. 

 

“The Avatar? Why would he want to save me? After everything I’ve done to you?”

 

“The monks taught me that all life has value. Even yours, Zuko.” 

 

Zuko looked genuinely confused. The concept of mercy seemed to rack his brain. Maybe it’s just mercy being shown to him . Katara thought, remembering how Ozai’s hand had felt on her cheek right before her face was set alight. 

 

“Well, what do you want from me now?” Zuko bit after a moment of contemplation. 

 

“An explanation.” Sokka butted into the conversation. “Why are you out here now. Doesn’t your dad think the Avatar is dead? Did you come out here to finish the job? Escape in the confusion of the eclipse and clean up your sloppy edges without anyone noticing?” 

 

“No.” Zuko said plainly, looking down so his raven hair brushed over his eyes. 

 

“Then why are you here?!” 

 

Zuko spoke quietly. “I’m here because I was wrong. I thought that coming back to the Fire Nation would fix all my problems and restore my honor. But I see now that honor can only be earned by fighting for balance and good. There is none of that in the Fire Nation. I am so sorry for everything I’ve done to hurt your team, but I’m here now because I want to help you defeat my father and restore balance to the world.” 

 

“You think we’re going to trust you just like that?! I remember what happened in Ba Sing Se! Was that the pre-betrayal sob story for this time around? You are so arrogant, you know that?!” 

 

“I understand if you don’t want to trust me right now, but I’m willing to do whatever is necessary to earn that trust later on.”

 

“No. Absolutely not. Why would we even want you here? You’re nothing but a liability!”

 

Zuko looked up with mostly hope but a little bit of firmness behind his eyes. “I have inside knowledge on the Fire Nation and my family, I can help you guys plan another attack. And I can teach firebending to the Avatar.” 

 

“There is no way I am letting you be my teacher, Zuko!” Aang's voice was uncharacteristically firm. 

 

“Yeah, we don’t want you and we don’t want your help!” Sokka tacked on. 

 

Zuko’s heart sank. He was surprised at how low, empty, he felt. He expected a surge of anger, probably fire, too, but he just felt sad. “I see.” He said, dejected. “But, now that I’ve officially defected from my home, I committed treason. I’m an enemy of the state. If I show my face in the Fire Nation I’ll be tortured and executed. So instead, if you won’t take me as a friend, perhaps you’ll take me as a prisoner.” He offered up his wrists and hung his head, grunting in pain as he maneuvered his knees underneath his body. 

 

He looked up after a second when no actions had been taken. He saw the group looking around nervously at each other, unsure what to do. Katara’s gaze was the coldest. Finally, and seemingly without validation from the others, she huffed off and returned momentarily with a length of rope, which she tied tightly around Zuko’s wrists. 

 

“Come.” She commanded, and Zuko attempted to stand, but pain shot through his chest and torso when he moved. He tried to stifle his cries, but a few pained grunts escaped. She looked back at him. He met her eyes with his own pitiful gaze. She sighed and grabbed him underneath the armpit and hauled him to his feet. He cried and stumbled momentarily before gaining balance on his feet. Katara assumed her place behind him and shoved him forward; his signal to start walking. “Toph.” She barked, and the earthbender was by her side. Together, they marched their prisoner into the depths of the temple. 

 

“Katara, what are you doing?!” Toph demanded. 

 

“What. He offered himself as a prisoner and I took him up on it. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

 

“We were just talking about how Aang needs a firebending teacher. Now one shows up on a silver platter and you turn him away?!”

 

“You weren’t there, Toph. You weren’t there when he invaded my home, burned down Kyoshi village, took Aang hostage again and again. You weren’t there when they took my mother!” She accentuated that last sentence by giving Zuko an extra shove. 

 

“I’m sorry.” Said Zuko. 

 

“Shut up! I heard it all underneath Ba Sing Se.”

 

Toph refused to be silenced. “I know I wasn’t there, Katara, but I’m here now and you aren’t! He isn’t invading your village anymore! He’s apologizing, and he’s being sincere! I wish you could feel his heartbeat right now because he is terrified! He’s terrified of you!” 

 

Katara saw the confused look on Zuko’s face as Toph said that and gave him a quick, preemptive smack to the back of the head. “You are not a part of this conversation!” She asserted, and Zuko hung his head silently once more. 

 

“Besides, Sugar Queen, what are we gonna do with a prisoner? We can't just keep him locked up forever.”

 

“We’ll keep him locked up until we can figure out what to do with him.”

 

“Fine.” 

 

They arrived at an empty room with no windows and no door on the hinges. Katara threw her prisoner inside and Toph stomped up an earthen wall to cover the doorframe. It was dark and Zuko was alone. 

 

When the two returned into the sunlight of camp, Sokka and Aang were cleaning up breakfast in uncharacteristic silence. “Aang, waterbending.” Katara commanded. The Avatar silently obeyed.

Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Chapter Text

When Katara and Aang returned several hours later, Toph suggested that they go check on Zuko. Katara needed to work on healing his ribs. They walked to his “cell” together, and Toph dropped the “door” so they could enter. Zuko looked up from where he was sitting. He was still bound. Katara expected that he would have either burned the ropes or wriggled out of them by now. Maybe she could give him a little credit for that ...?

 

She pushed the thought out of her mind and told him to lie flat on his back. He awkwardly looked at his tied hands and then back at Katara. Her face hardened. “If you dare try anything I won’t hesitate to end you .” She threatened and unbound his wrists. “Thank you,” he said quietly, rubbing the spots where the skin had gone red and raw. 

 

When Katara got to work on his ribs, she found with dismay that almost nothing had changed since the last time she worked on it. “I don’t understand.” She said. “He’s not getting any better.” 

 

“Maybe Aang wasn’t kidding when he said it’s bad for firebenders to be in the dark all the time.” Toph remarked passive aggressively.

 

“What, you think he’s only gonna grow if we give him fresh air and sunlight? I bet you want me to water him twice a day, too? Jeez, Toph, he’s not a plant. He’s fine.”

 

“What do you think, Sparky? Need some sun?”

 

Zuko closed his eyes and breathed. “Whatever I need to do to get you guys to trust me.” 

 

“That’s ridiculous. Get up, Sparky, you’re coming with me.”  Toph grabbed his hand and yanked him to a sitting position. Zuko would’ve reacted more strongly to the physical contact, but the pain in his chest distracted him. He let out a grunt of pain. “Oh. Sorry, Sparks. My bad.” Toph smiled awkwardly. 

 

She stood behind him, put her hands under his arms and said, “Are ya ready?” Zuko didn’t really get a chance to respond before being yanked up to his feet. He grimaced and swayed slightly for a minute before Toph grabbed his hand again and began to lead him outside. Once again, the pain in his ribs muted the shock of being touched. 

 

They had only taken a few steps before being stopped by Katara. “What do you think you’re doing?” She demanded. “Bringing him outside.” Toph deadpanned. “Like that? He could firebend your entire hand off right now! No. If you insist he has to go outside, I insist he has to be tied up.” 

 

“Look at him! You seriously think he’s-“ Zuko cut her off. “It’s fine, Toph. It doesn’t bother me.” He turned back to Katara and offered his wrists. 

 

Katara couldn’t help but notice how red and raw they were as she bound him once again. She even felt a little bad bringing that kind of pain on him, but certainly not bad enough to let him go free. He gave her a bow of his head when she was finished and allowed himself to be led out of his “cell” by Toph. 

 

He was almost twice as tall as the little earthbender and looked a little ridiculous with her at his back. But he didn’t care. He knew the little blind girl was a powerful bender and a formidable fight, and he knew Katara knew that too. He hoped the ironic dichotomy between them would somehow prove something to Katara. 

 

Zuko squinted in the bright light as he stepped out into the main courtyard of the temple. He felt his inner flame swell with rejuvenated power. It felt so good, he couldn’t help but to take a deep breath and sigh in satisfaction. He had missed this feeling. 

 

As he basked in the warm rays like a lizard on a rock, he didn’t notice the small crowd gathering. Aang and Sokka had meandered over from whatever they had been doing, and Katara had followed from the “prison hold” to keep a visual on the fire prince. Toph was standing a few feet away from him, trying to be respectful (to Katara’s frustration) and there he stood, blissfully unaware of his audience as he soaked up the sunlight. 

 

That is, until he opened his eyes. He scanned the group, and then looked at them with a questioning look, not bold enough to say anything but clearly expressing his discomfort. His eyes would move from person to person, lingering on an individual for a few seconds until it became apparent that they weren’t going to say anything, then he would move to someone else. 

 

When no one spoke up, Zuko took that as his cue to say something, anything, to ease the awkwardness. “I know none of you trust me, but-“ he got cut off by Katara. “Can you bend?” She asked, harshly. Zuko was not expecting that question. “Uh.. What?”

 

“You heard me, can you bend?”

 

“Uh ... probably.. maybe - a little, I don’t know. I’m not going to. Why?”

 

“Because firebenders draw their power from the sun, and I don’t know how long it takes to ‘recharge’ but I don’t want you too powerful in case you have another sudden change of loyalties.” 

 

To everyone’s surprise, including the fire prince himself, Zuko blushed. “You really think I’m that good a firebender? I mean, there's four of you, and I’m injured. You really think I’m that good?” He couldn’t suppress the corners of his mouth from curving upward, and his blush flourished. He was genuinely flattered by this. 

 

Katara was at a loss for words. All she managed was, “Uh, yeah, I guess.” Which fell out of her mouth, dumbly. Zuko’s eyes, those cold, cunning, eyes, softened into something almost childlike. “Thank you, Katara.” He quickly realized how awkward that sounded. “I mean - uh -“

 

Luckily, Sokka saved the day. “I take it the Fire Nation isn’t too big on praise, huh?” He said. “Yeah, not really.” Zuko instinctively reached to scratch the back of his neck (his nervous habit) but was stopped by the ropes. 

 

“How do you learn anything without being praised? How are you such a good firebender if your people have treated you so cruelly?” Aang piped up. He had had the least interactions with the firebender out of everyone in the group, despite having the most complicated relationship with him. He wanted to get to know Zuko beyond his bitter banished-prince facade. 

 

At first, Zuko blushed slightly at the compliment, but felt a spike of anger at the rest of the question. “My people don’t!-“ he stopped himself. “Sorry... I mean, uh, I don’t understand. They’re not cruel. Well - I mean - they are, but - ” 

 

Seriously? He doesn’t even know? Thought Katara. Weapon

 

“ - not to me.” Zuko finished. 

 

“Seriously?” Aang echoed Katara’s thoughts. “Your own father burned you and banished you to go capture the Avatar just to get rid of you, You don’t think that’s cruel?!” 

 

Katara could watch Zuko’s proverbial hackles rise at the Avatar’s words. “What?! How do you know that?!” His words were intended to be angry, but they came out more shocked, accusatory. He sounded violated, appalled, defensive. Scared. Zuko sounded scared.

 

Aang looked shocked. Sokka’s jaw dropped. Toph was frozen. And Katara... Katara looked away. 

 

Zuko looked around the group, just like he had a few moments ago when he noticed their staring.  Now it was his turn to stare. None of them met his eyes. 

 

Most of the group was on his left, and he had been turned to them, but Toph stood “guard” on his right. Zuko whipped around to look at her. Eye contact with the blind girl gave him more relief than he was willing to admit. 

 

She directed his attention to Katara. Even without looking, the waterbender could feel his gaze single her out and burn into her. 

 

When she finally met his eyes, she couldn’t believe what she saw. The fire prince actually looked ... hurt? Yes, hurt. Aggressive, but hurt. Hurt and confused. The emotions clouded his eyes heavily, but they failed to completely mask the fear and vulnerability behind them. 

 

She couldn’t stand to look at it. She hung her head again. “When we dragged you from the wreckage ..” she began, staring at her feet. “... you were hurt.”

 

Zuko’s heart rate was pounding, and Toph could tell that he had spent a lot of energy controlling his hot temper already. She still felt a small jump in her chest when he yelled, “I know that!” The familiar aggression taking over more of his voice this time. But she could hardly blame him. She had a bit of a temper, too, and she could imagine how shocked and violated... vulnerable, Zuko must feel right now. 

 

Katara ground a pebble under her shoe, staring at it, as she continued on. “It wasn’t just your ribs or your burns; There was some damage on your head, too.” 

 

Zuko looked at her expectantly to continue. 

 

“I thought maybe you bumped it or something. I thought it was something I could heal, but ... it wasn’t.”

 

A perplexed look joined the hurt, anger, and confusion on his face. “What does that have to do with anything?” He demanded. His words still hurt, but it was obvious that the bite in them was a mask for how he was really feeling. 

 

“I - I tried to heal you, but ... it - you weren’t injured - you didn’t bump your head. It wasn’t physical damage, it was...” Katara paused, incredibly uncomfortable. “... It was your memories. All your worst memories.” She paused again. “And I ... I saw them.” 

 

Zuko could feel flames itching to escape from his palms. His fire was always strongest when he was emotional, and the news that Katara, his former enemy, and someone who he was desperately trying to earn the trust of, had witnessed all of his weakest, most damaging, traumatic moments - had seen him at his most vulnerable, most shameful, was an emotional slap in the face. He was thankful that his wrists were tied. 

 

Instead of fire, he channeled his anger into a loud, biting, “WHAT?!” He tasted smoke in his mouth. A little fire did escape after all. 

 

Katara took a step back at his words. Partially out of apology and fear, and partially because he spat a peppering of sparks and ashes as he spoke. 

 

“I’m sorry.” She said. “I’d never tried to heal someone’s brain before. I didn’t know  what was going to happen. I didn’t know what I was going to see... I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” 

 

She looked up to Zuko to gauge his reaction. He looked ready to strangle her. Then, in an act of self control that she would never have expected from him, the firebender closed his eyes, inhaled, and exhaled, twin jets of smoke escaping from his nostrils. She could see his temples flex as he clenched his jaw and his lips pressed in a thin white line. But he did not move towards her, he did not spit fire at her, and he did not speak words of rage. Instead, only two words came from him. 

 

“I understand.” 

 

They were deep, throaty, and heavy. He turned away. Then, there came a few more words. 

 

“I’m sorry you had to see that, Katara. You’re right. The Fire Nation is cruel. To everyone. Including me.”

 

Katara saw the back of his head, his dark hair shrouding his face, his bony shoulders accentuating how scrawny he was. She had to oppress the feeling she got looking at him. It was the same feeling she felt in the catacombs of Ba Sing Se. When he’d told her about losing his mother. 

 

He hadn’t needed to tell her this time. She’d watched it herself. That and just about every other thing the Fire Nation had done to him. She felt sick. The guilt she felt reminded her of blood bending. No, it was worse. At least blood bending only invaded the body. To Zuko, she had invaded his mind. 

 

His mind was him. His personality. His emotions. His memories. Without those things, he wouldn’t be Zuko. And yet she had just barged right in; invaded the most intimate parts of who he was, forced him to expose himself to her at his most vulnerable. Katara suddenly couldn’t stand herself.

Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Chapter Text

Zuko’s heartbeat had been fast before, but now it was almost frantic. Even as his cool words slid off his lips, Toph could feel the heat of his anxiety. There was an awkward silence where everyone just stood there. His heartbeat did not slow down. 

 

“Can I ask you a personal question?” Aang suddenly piped up. Zuko turned back to face everyone. “I don’t have much left to hide.” He said. Aang took that as a yes. 

 

“What did you do?” He didn’t specify but it was obvious he was referring to the scar. “I mean, I can’t think of anything bad enough that would warrant what he did to you.”

 

Zuko sighed. “I spoke out of turn.” He said, simply. 

 

The group all showed surprise. “What?!” Exclaimed Katara. “No way!” Toph cried. Aang gasped, and Sokka had a perplexed look on his face. 

 

“Jesus! What did you say?!” The warrior finally exclaimed. 

 

Zuko collected himself. “I was in a war meeting. I wasn’t supposed to talk, but I did. There was a general who wanted to sacrifice an entire division of new recruits, and I told him that was horrible.” 

 

Another round of shocked exclamations. 

 

“And then what happened?” Asked Aang. 

 

“He challenged me to an Agni Kai.”

 

“What’s an Agni Kai?”

 

“It’s a firebending duel. It only ends when someone gets burned.”

 

Katara put her hand over her mouth to hide her shock. 

 

“So you lost, right? But I thought Ozai did it?” Toph questioned. 

 

“He did. And I didn’t lose; I didn’t fight. I thought I could fight the general because he looked old and weak, so I agreed. But when I turned around, it was Ozai, and I couldn’t fight him.”

 

Katara couldn’t help but notice how he said “Ozai” as opposed to “my father”. 

 

“So he burned you for refusing to fight?” The expression on Aang’s face was horrified. Katara knew he was only able to get the words out because he was hoping the answer would be no, but Zuko nodded. “Yes,” he said, trying to hide the emotion in his voice. 

 

The Air Temple was silent for several moments after that. Sokka couldn’t believe a person could do that to another person, let alone a father to his son. He thought of his own father’s love. How secure it was. How his chest swelled when his father told him he was brave or complimented his willpower. Zuko never had that. Zuko had the exact opposite of that. 

 

And yet Zuko was ten times as brave as Sokka, with fifty times the willpower. Yet he never got the same kind of validation Sokka did. All he got was a scar. 

 

Aang broke the silence. “That's awful.” He said. He looked like he’d just killed a puppy. Like he didn’t know how to handle the realization. “I - I think I need a minute.” He said, and walked away. 

 

“I’m gonna go make sure he’s okay.” Katara said after a moment, and rushed off in the Avatar’s direction. This left Zuko alone with just Toph and Sokka. Kind of awkward, he thought, considering he had just spilled his guts to them, and now they were just standing there. He really didn’t know what to do with himself. 

 

Luckily, Toph did. “Is she gone?” The earthbender asked, referring to Katara. Sokka looked over his shoulder before giving a nod, but it was obvious he had no idea what the blind girl was up to. 

 

“Good.” Responded Toph, and she walked over to Zuko and began to unbind his wrists. 

 

“What are you doing?” Sokka and Zuko asked this at the same time before looking at each other, and then making a pointed effort not to look at each other. 

 

“What does it look like I’m doing? I'm untying him.”

 

“Okay, but why?!” Sokka exclaimed. It was clear he still had quite a bit of fear in his heart for the young firebender. 

 

“Because I wanna see some firebending!” 

 

“WHAT?! You wanna see him kill us!! Why?!” 

 

“Not like that, Snoozles!” Toph sighed exasperatedly and threw the rope to the ground. Sokka was paying zero attention to that. 

 

“Wait — you can’t even see him kill us! You’re blind! What is the matter with you!!” He finally finished, staring into Toph’s eyes. 

 

“I’m blind?” Toph exclaimed. She gestured to the rope on the ground. Sokka stared at it, then up to Zuko’s free wrists, then up to his still face. No fireballs came his way. 

 

“Thank you,” Zuko said to Toph, completely ignoring Sokka. Sokka grew a sheepish grin and a blush. 

 

“So,” Toph said, sitting down on the ground, inviting Zuko and Sokka to do the same. “Fire has hurt you.” 

 

Finally, Zuko’s hands were free to scratch the back of his head in discomfort. “Uh, yeah.” He said, awkwardly. “I actually used to be really scared of it.” Sokka realized where Toph was going with this. 

 

“So how did you get past it?”

 

“My uncle taught me firebending differently than how I had been taught at ho — in the Fire Nation.” He corrected himself. “They taught me that fire was power and destruction, but my uncle showed me how it could also be warmth and light.” 

 

Toph nodded, thoughtfully. “You know, Aang is afraid of firebending. He was really excited to learn it from Jeong Jeong, but he got ahead of himself and he accidentally burned Katara. He said he would never firebend again.” 

 

“Well, I don’t blame him, Jeong Jeong is crazy.”

 

“We all thought the same thing.” Toph giggled. “But I think that means that you’re meant to be his teacher. You can teach him not to be afraid because he knows that you’ve been hurt by it too. He’ll believe you when you tell him it's not gonna hurt him.” 

 

“I’m not gonna tell him that it’s not gonna hurt him.” Zuko said, toughly. 

 

“What? Why?” Sokka couldn’t help but blurt out. 

 

“Because it is.” Zuko said. He opened his hands to show the callouses and burns on his palms and fingers. “Firebending is more physically demanding than the other elements.” He looked at Toph. “You can’t earthbend without earth, Katara can’t waterbend without water, and Aang can’t airbend without air, but I can firebend anywhere. That’s because I fuel it with my own body. Think about it, have you ever seen a firebender who’s not skinny?” 

 

“Your uncle.” Toph deadpanned. Sokka giggled. Zuko scratched the back of his head again. “Heh, yeah, he doesn’t bend that much. But you get what I’m saying, right?” 

 

“Yeah. Firebenders don’t just need the energy to control the fire, they also need the energy to create fire in the first place, right?” Sokka asked. He had let go of his fear of Zuko after he realized that he was actually really interesting. Now he was completely engaged in what the boy was saying. 

 

“Exactly.” Said Zuko. 

 

“Can we see?” Asked Toph. Zuko looked at her, a mixture of confused and surprised. “Really?” He asked. “You want me to firebend?” 

 

“Yeah,” Said Toph. “I’ve never seen it up close.” 

 

“You’re not gonna be scared of it? You’re not gonna be scared of me?” 

 

“I mean, you already yelled sparks at Katara.” Sokka said. 

 

“I did?!” Zuko threw a hand over his mouth. “I am so sorry. She doesn’t hate me now, does she? I mean, she does, but not because of that, right?” 

 

Toph pulled his hand away from his mouth. “Sugar Queen will be fine, now come on, I want to see some firebending!” 

 

Zuko was clearly nervous as he reached his hand out. He looked at both of them for reassurance. “You promise you aren’t going to hate me after this?” 

 

“Yes, now come on!” Exclaimed Toph. Zuko wasn’t satisfied. He shifted his gaze over to Sokka. “Sokka?” He asked. The warrior took a deep breath. His trust in Zuko was clearly much more fragile than Toph’s. After a moment, Sokka answered. “Yes, I promise if you show us normal, teeny tiny, not-at-all-dangerous firebending, I won’t hate you.” Zuko looked unconvinced. “Come on, Sparky, I won’t let Snoozles hurt you!” Toph urged. “Okay, fine.” 

 

Zuko took a deep breath and centered himself. Then, being very careful of where his bending ended up, he snapped his fingers and sent sparks skittering across the floor. He immediately looked up to the others. Sokka looked focused, but his face was unreadable. Toph was about the same. He began to grow uneasy. 

 

A couple seconds passed before Toph piped up. “Did you do it?” She asked. Zuko felt embarrassed. “Uh, yeah.” He said, uncomfortably. “Are you doing it right now?” 

 

“Um.... no. It was just sparks.” 

 

“Well you’re gonna have to do something more than that, Snoozles be damned!” 

 

Zuko looked uncomfortably at Sokka, who also looked uncomfortable. But the water tribe warrior figured if Zuko was going to do something bad on purpose, he would’ve already done it. Even he could tell that the prince was genuinely anxious. More out of pity than anything else, Sokka gave Zuko a nod.

 

With that, Zuko held out his palm. Sokka caught his breath and instinctively jerked away when a fire suddenly came to life above it. Toph smiled and leaned in closer. “It’s so ... gentle.” She said, taking time to choose the word carefully. 

 

“Gentle?” Zuko and Sokka spoke in unison for the second time that day. “Yeah, its so gentle and delicate.” Said Toph, intrigued. “It just dances around, no hard edges, no concrete borders. Its ... soft. I could blow it out if I wanted to. It’s like a flower or a cloud. Its ... immaterial.” Zuko didn’t even think Uncle could come up with such a delicate description of fire and believe it. 

 

Her words seemed to mesmerize the other two boys, and the trio sat in silence for a moment, entranced by the dancing flame in Zuko’s hand. 

 

That is, until a water whip came flying and hit Zuko upside the head. His entire body was thrown backwards and he landed with a grunt on his back. He immediately reached up to his chest and cradled his ribs, groaning in pain. 

 

“Don’t move, ashmaker!” Katara commanded as she stood above him, water at the ready. Zuko responded by letting his head fall back and closing his eyes in pain, another pained grunt accentuating the action. 

 

Katara’s usual sympathy for the injured was gone as she grabbed his collar and hauled him to his feet and pressed up against a wall. He grimaced in pain and gritted his teeth, clutching onto his injured rib cage as Katara began to tear into him. It was obvious he was in too much pain to even hear a word she was saying. 

 

Luckily, Toph came to his rescue. “Katara! Stop!” She demanded. When the waterbender failed to acknowledge the words, Toph stomped up a shard of earth in the small space between the two bodies, separating them. Katara threw a fist at the rock, Zuko crumpled against it. 

 

“Toph, he's dangerous!” Katara exclaimed, trying to get at the firebender from around the wall. “Is he?!” Toph exclaimed, stomping down the wall and forcing Katara to look at the teenager now kneeling on the ground. 

 

Katara noticed his compromised state, but continued to fight. “He was firebending!!” She insisted. 

 

“I asked him to firebend! He didn’t even want to! He was afraid that exactly this sort of thing was gonna happen!” Toph exclaimed. She was genuinely angry. She was more upset with Katara now than she was when they butted heads after she first joined the group. 

 

A weak groan escaped from Zuko and he looked up like a kicked dog. “I’m sorry, Katara...” He forced the words out through the pain and gave her a pitiful look that begged forgiveness. But Toph wasn’t finished. 

 

“No you’re not.” She yelled at Zuko. “You’re not sorry, Katara is. You were respectful and cautious and careful and nobody got hurt! Katara just barged in here and acted without thinking, and she hurt you! You have nothing to apologize for! She does.” 

 

Both Zuko and Katara stared at her. Then Katara went off. “How can you even say that?!” She exclaimed. “Do you seriously trust him more than you trust us?! You’ve never even met him before! I have. I know that he has never used firebending to do anything but hurt people, and I am completely justified to defend my friends if I see some Fire Nation psycho trying to kill them!” 

 

“Katara.” The voice of the young Avatar stopped the commotion in its tracks. “I know you’re upset, but I think Toph might be right about this one.” 

 

“Seriously?! You too?! Why is everyone taking Zuko’s side on this? Are we all loyal to him now? Because we’re not!”

 

Zuko slowly picked himself up while she was talking and once he was flat on his feet he spoke. “Katara, stop.” He said. There was still pain in his voice. Katara faced him angrily, appalled that he dare speak up and defend himself. “I’m sorry,” he said. “You have a right to be angry with me. I should have talked to you and Aang before firebending. I’m sure it must have been scary for you to see me firebending in front of your friends, and I probably would’ve done the same thing in your position.” 

 

Katara nodded curtly and turned to leave. With her back to him, Zuko allowed himself a shred of vulnerability and crumpled in pain, contorting his face into an expression of anguish. Once he was sure Katara was out of earshot, he let out a small grunt. 

 

To his surprise, it was Aang who fluttered up to him with his airbending and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Sorry about Katara.” He said. “It’s fine. Sorry about trying to capture you for a year.” Zuko grunted. 

 

“I know it’s only because you wanted to go home. I would too.”

 

“Yeah, sorry about ... all that.” 

 

“That’s not what I meant. I meant that I understand why you did what you did. You were in a really messed up situation and there were no good options. You just did your best. And it worked out. I mean, you’re here now. Toph seems to like you, and Sokka is giving you a chance. And I need to learn firebending from someone.”

 

“Yeah, and Katara hates my guts.”

 

“I know it seems like that, but I think she has a lot more feelings that she’s hiding. She’s angry right now, but I’m sure she’ll come around. Katara is a loving person, there’s no space for hate in her heart.” 

 

“Whatever you say.” Zuko didn’t sound convinced.

Chapter 6: Chapter 6

Chapter Text

Aang smiled at Zuko. Then, he took his hand and started to pull him towards the fountain where they had “camp.” Zuko seemed a little uncomfortable with this, but Aang led him right in and set him in front of a fire pit — right next to Katara. “Why would you possibly bring him here right now.” She demanded. “Because you two are going to work together.” Said Aang, snatching the spark rocks from Katara’s side. 

 

“Hey, those are my spark rocks! Give them back!” She protested, but Aang hid them in his shirt and held up his hands. “Sorry, I lost them. Looks like you’ll have to come up with some other way to make fire.” He winked. 

 

“There is no way I’m letting him firebend! And there’s no way I’m letting him near a fire that he could control! I guess you are all going to eat your rice cold tonight!” 

 

Katara was yelling these words across the courtyard by now, because Aang was walking off, leaving Katara and Zuko to figure it out themselves. 

 

“If you don’t want any fire, I can warm it up just by holding it - if you want - I mean -“ 

 

Katara thrust a pot of water in his hands. “If you can boil this without making any flames, I’ll think about healing your ribs, ash maker.” 

 

Zuko frowned. “Don’t call me that.” He said as he took the water. “Ash maker” was considered an extremely offensive slur in the Fire Nation. He’d heard it under the breath of locals whenever he’d made port during his banishment, some had even said it to his face. Even before that, his non-bending peers in the Fire Nation would occasionally throw the word around at him, and he would be lying if he said it didn’t make his blood boil. 

 

“I wouldn’t be telling me what to do right now if I were you, ashtray.” Katara warned, but Zuko was never one to step down once he had made himself known. “Listen.” Zuko made his voice slightly firm. “I know I have done bad things to you in the past, and you have every right to be mad about it, but I have always treated you with respect. I expect you to do the same.” 

 

“You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.”

 

Katara looked into the prince’s scarred face, his hard eyes giving her a firm look. His mouth was pressed in a thin line. “Fine.” She said and turned away hard, focusing intently on chopping her vegetables. “Thank you,” Zuko said, and she wished he hadn’t. 

 

Once the water was boiling (and it started boiling conveniently fast), Katara stirred in the vegetables and rice, trying hard to ignore how close to Zuko she was. She made an effort not to look at his face, and he sat silently. It was awkward and tense, and it couldn’t be over fast enough. 

 

As soon as Sokka sat down to dinner, he could tell that he could cut the tension with a knife. He didn’t know what had gone down between Katara and Zuko after she water whipped him, but there was obvious tension there. He also couldn’t figure out why his sister seemed so mad at Aang. Sure, he had taken Zuko’s side in their “fight”, but she seemed like she was mad at him for something else. 

 

“Katara, why isn’t the campfire lit?” Toph asked. “Ask Aang.” She snapped. Toph looked expectantly at the avatar. “I took away her spark rocks.” Aang said sheepishly. “But I only did it because you need to start treating Zuko better. You act like fire is evil. As a waterbender, you should know that all bending has the power for healing and destruction.” 

 

Katara glared at Aang. “How can firebending possibly heal.” It wasn’t a question. 

 

Sokka decided it was his turn to speak up. “Well, I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m feeling pretty cold without a campfire.” 

 

“Then put on a jacket!” Katara snapped. Sokka gave her a look, but he stood up and went to fumble through their things to find a jacket. “Oh no Katara, I can’t find my jacket. Too bad it's so dark back here .” 

 

If Katara was a firebender she would have steam coming out of her ears. She stood tall over the cross-legged Zuko and growled, “I swear, if that fire get’s one bit out of control, grows one hair too big, I will not hesitate to drown you , do you understand? Now light the damn campfire.” 

 

Zuko looked around wildly at the rest of the group, but they all gave him reassuring looks. When the flames jumped from his hand, even he looked scared of it, and the group gave a collective flinch. Aang was the first to recover. He smiled at Zuko, stood up, and gave him a little bow before returning the spark rocks to Katara and sitting back down. 

 

Even though everyone seemed to relax a bit in the warmth of the fire, the tension was still very much there and it was uncharacteristically quiet as they ate. Sokka used this time to study Zuko a bit more. He really didn’t know what to think of the firebender, but he trusted him a reasonable amount, and was genuinely fascinated by his explanation of firebending, and decided he wanted to get to know him better as a person. You know, now that he wasn’t evil. 

 

He studied his mannerisms. Zuko ate like a prince. He took small bites and chewed with his mouth closed. He held his chopsticks steady and his back straight. Sokka could definitely see him looking very at home at some stately dinner table dressed in formal Fire Nation robes with his hair pulled back. What had happened to his hair anyways? Sokka was thankful for the loss of that ugly ass ponytail, but why did he change it? Katara had worn her hair loopies her entire life, and he couldn’t remember a time where he didn’t have his wolf tail. Sokka decided to break the tension. “Hey Zuko, when did you change your hair?” 

 

Zuko looked startled by the question. “Oh, uh, well, the phoenix tail is Fire Nation hair. After my uncle and I ... defected, were trying to lay low in the Earth Kingdom, so I had to cut it off.” 

 

“Yeah, what were you doing in the Earth Kingdom anyways? And what do you mean ‘defected’? What happened to you after The Siege of the North?”

 

Zuko looked uncomfortable and reached for the back of his neck. “Uh, well, my uncle and I escaped on a raft and drifted until we found some random Fire Nation outpost in the middle of nowhere that took us in. It was horrible, I thought we were both going to die.”

 

His eyes drifted to some far off place for just a moment, but he quickly brought himself back. “Anyways, Azula came to us then and told me that I was un-banished and that I could return home. I don’t know what would’ve happened to us if I’d gone with her, but right as we were about to board her ship, one of her crew accidentally called us prisoners, and I realized we’d been tricked. We both managed to escape, but realized we had nowhere to go. It was either the Earth Kingdom, or back to Azula, so we cut off our hair and left.” 

 

Sokka was perplexed at this. “Wait, huh? I know Azula is terrible and crazy, but why did she want you prisoner? I thought you were on the same side.” 

 

With that, Zuko shot an intense look at Aang, who smiled uncomfortably and shrunk back. “Yeah, uh, funny story, remember when I made you suck on frogs?” The Avatar began. That made Zuko (and Toph) look confused, but Sokka just wrinkled his nose and stuck out his tongue. “Ugh, how could I forget?!” He exclaimed. 

 

“Heh, yeah, I guess I never told you about how while you were sick Zhao captured me and then Zuko busted me out of jail?” 

 

“WHAT?!” 

 

Zuko looked away. “I only did it so I could have you for myself.” He mumbled shamefully. 

 

Sokka appeared not to hear Zuko and repeated himself. “Zuko saved you from Zhao?!” He exclaimed. Aang smiled and his face grew red. 

 

“That’s why Azula wanted me.” Zuko said. “I set you free from a Fire Nation prison. That’s treason.”

 

“But how did they know it was you? You wore a disguise, didn’t you?” 

 

“Zhao recognized my swords.” 

 

Sokka wrinkled his brow. His logical mind was digesting the situation. “So why didn’t Zhao arrest you? Why make Azula do it?” 

 

Zuko rubbed the back of his neck again. “Well, Zhao tried to ... he hired pirates to blow up my ship. That’s why my face was like that at the North Pole.” 

 

“He tried to assassinate you?!” Sokka exclaimed. He’d always thought of Zuko as an evil, spoiled, overly-patriotic prince trying to capture the Avatar to prove he was somehow worthy to be Fire Lord one day, but it was becoming more and more clear to him that the bender was anything but. 

 

“Uh, yeah, I guess.”

 

“So what happened then?” 

 

Zuko looked somewhat uncomfortable again and looked away. “I hid undercover on his ship until we reached the North Pole, then I left to go find you.”

 

“How did you get in? Even the Fire Army couldn’t get in until they broke down the wall.” 

 

Zuko shrugged. “I swam through the turtle-seal tunnels.” 

 

Sokka’s eyes bulged at the mere thought of such a thing. “How did you not freeze?!” He exclaimed. Zuko looked a bit taken aback by his intensity. “I’m a firebender... I can warm myself up.” 

 

“That’s so cool!” 

 

Now Zuko looked really uncomfortable. His eyes were wide and slightly wild, like he’d just been punched in the face. “Uh... thanks.” He said awkwardly. 

 

Sokka couldn’t help but notice how sad that was. Zuko was so unaccustomed to praise that he seemed shocked to repeat it. Sokka also couldn’t help but notice that Zuko offered to help Katara with the dishes after they ate, even though Zuko had likely never done dishes in his life. And also how Katara told him to get lost, and how she never performed another healing session on his ribs.

Chapter 7

Summary:

omg updating this fic for the first time in 9 months 😳

Chapter Text

After dinner, the Gaang dispersed and Zuko didn’t know what to do. He still couldn’t stop thinking about Katara, what she had seen, what she had experienced while she was inside his head. He saw her stand up and start to walk off, and his anxiety peaked. He had to talk to her about it. “Katara, wait.” Zuko said, and she looked back at him. “Can I have a moment alone with you?” He asked awkwardly.

 

Katara looked apprehensive. “I know you still don’t trust me, and you have no reason to, but I want to talk about what you saw. We can go wherever you want — we can be right by the river if you’d feel more comfortable. You’re a stronger bender than me...and I’m injured. I promise, I just want to talk. Please?” Zuko was rambling, which appeared to be his nervous habit, and Katara was inclined to believe him. Although she had also been inclined to believe him in Ba Sing Se. He had just made himself vulnerable — just like in Ba Sing Se — but even in Ba Sing Se, he hadn’t made himself this vulnerable . He actually wasn’t making himself vulnerable at all, he just was vulnerable. Somehow, that convinced her. She took one last look over her shoulder to her friends, and then back at Zuko. “Fine.” She said.

 

When they got to the river, Katara led Zuko to a large rock and they sat down. The babbling of the stream provided a nice background noise for the awkward conversation both knew were coming.

 

“What did you see?” Zuko blurted out.

 

Katara looked down in shame. “It was like I was seeing everything through your eyes. It was like I was you. I saw what you saw, I heard what you heard ... I felt what you felt.”

 

“But what did you see? What happened? How much of my life did you experience?”

 

“Oh. Well, a couple things. They came in flashes. I couldn’t tell when they took place,”

 

Zuko was starting to get irritated. “Just tell me what happened. I’ll tell you the rest.”

 

“Well, first there was Azula. She was in, I think, your room. She was saying, ‘Dad’s gonna kill you!’ in this sing-songy voice, and I remember feeling scared and I — well, you — started telling yourself that Azula always lies, over and over again. I couldn’t tell how old you were in that one, but Azula looked really young, so you must’ve been young too.”

 

“I was. What else did you see?”

 

“Well, I can’t tell how much time passed between that one and this one, but you were in your bed again, sleeping, and this woman came in and woke you up and told you that she loved you and to remember who you were. Then she ran away and just left you there, confused.”

 

“Yeah. That was my mother. It was the last time I ever saw her.”

 

“I’m sorry. Can I ask what the other memory was about? The one with Azula?”

 

Zuko sighed. ”She heard my grandfather order our dad to kill me.”

 

“What?!”

 

“Yeah. I was 10. Azulon was Fire Lord and I was fourth in line for the throne.”

 

“Wait, fourth? If Azulon was Fire Lord wouldn’t you only be second behind Ozai?”

 

“No. If Azulon died, it would’ve gone to my uncle, then my cousin, then Ozai, and then me. That’s how it was supposed to be anyways. But Ozai wanted to be Fire Lord, so when my cousin died and my uncle was grieving, he told Azulon to change his will and write him in as his sole heir. But Azulon wouldn’t do it, he was mad that he even asked. He was so mad that he told Ozai that the only way for him to understand the pain my uncle was going through — the pain of losing a firstborn son — was to lose his own; me. My grandfather ordered my father to kill me. And he was going to do it.”

 

Katara was shocked. “So what happened? How are you still alive?” She asked.

 

Zuko looked down sadly. “My mother saved me. She forced Azulon to change his will at knifepoint— the same knife my father was planning to use on me. Then she poisoned him and fled. But before she left, she stopped by my room and said goodbye to me. That’s what you saw.”

 

Katara was shocked. “I - I’m so sorry.” She said. Zuko shook his head. “It’s fine. What else did you see?”

 

“I - I heard someone, a mans voice, saying ‘fresh bait.’”

 

Zuko grimaced at the words. “Yeah ...” he said, cringing. “I guess you already know about that one.”

 

Katara also seemed to recognize the discomfort of the situation, to Zuko’s relief, and they shared a bit of solidarity in that.

 

“Right... Sorry. I also heard your Uncle talking to you. He said you were on a ship and you were banished and you couldn’t come home until you captured the Avatar. Everything was really hazy in that memory. Even though your Uncle was explaining everything, it still felt like you were disoriented and didn’t know what was happening. What was that all about?”

 

Zuko looked away again. “Yeah, that was right after I had been burned. I was pretty drugged up.”

 

Katara cocked an eyebrow. “Drugged up? Why?”

 

“I had just had half my face burned off, I was in pretty bad shape. There was a time when they weren’t even sure I was going to live. My ship didn’t have the right resources so the medic just gave me drugs until I passed out. I barely remember any of that first month, they had me so doped up. My uncle told me that I got addicted to all the painkillers they were giving me and I ended up going through withdrawal. But I barely remember that either. Just... I just remember being miserable and useless.”

 

Katara thought about what life would’ve been like on that ship for the first couple weeks. Zuko, barely conscious, occasionally crying out in need, only to be met with more drugs. Crew still setting into their roles, probably a few squabbles, poor Iroh having to bear such a huge burden on his shoulders. Zuko was probably lucky he didn’t remember. “That’s awful...” Was all she managed to say.

 

“Yeah, it was. Did you see anything else?” Zuko asked.

 

Katara shook her head. “No, that was it.”

 

There was an awkward pause before Katara spoke again.

 

“Just because your dad tried to kill you doesn’t mean I'm going to forget what happened in Ba Sing Se. I’m not going to forgive you because of this.” She said it to herself as much as him.

 

“I understand.” He said, lowering his head. “I don’t expect you to. I just thought you deserved an explanation for what you saw.”

 

That was the end of their talk.

 

Chapter 8

Summary:

okay yay last chapter! I figured i left this unfinished for 9 months so now im finally wrapping it up :) this chapter is kinda short and maybe its not the greatest ending because im just kind of tacking it on shitty like pin the tail on the donkey but you know what i think its nice and has feels so enjoy or dont idc just be nice have a great day :)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Katara went to bed. Her head was full of storm clouds. Poor Zuko had been through so much! That didn’t excuse what he did though. Katara had been through a lot too, and she was helping the Avatar! Zuko wasn’t the only one to lose his mother at a young age, have an absent father, have too much responsibility thrust on his shoulders too young. She’d gone through all of that and she turned out okay! Zuko didn’t have an excuse.

 

But her chest still itched with pity as she watched him limp back to camp and curl up stiffly in his bedroll. He was so hurt…

 

She didn’t know why, but she got up and went over to him. He looked up at her sleepily. “Katara?” He croaked, voice heavy with sleep.

 

“Do you want me to do another healing session on your ribs? You look like you’re hurting bad.”

 

Zuko looked puzzled, but soft. “Uh, yeah, sure.” He said, and pulled off his shirt and laid back. Katara summoned some water to her hands and her face was illuminated blue from the glow of the healing. Zuko let out a shaky breath of relief. She imagined it felt good. He relaxed into it and closed his eyes, and Katara looked at his soft face and ragged scar as she worked. She’d never examined it up close before (except for Ba Sing Se) and it was even more gnarled and tough than she remembered. She gently touched it.

 

His eyes shot open and he shook his head. She removed her hand. “Sorry.” She said quickly, and he looked around, perplexed and hurt. “Why did you do that?” He asked calmly. “I - I don’t know. You just… you look hurt.”

 

“I am hurt.”

 

“I mean more ways than just your ribs. You look like people have hurt you.”

 

“They have.”

 

“I know. I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault.”

 

Katara sighed and looked down guiltily. “I didn’t help, though. I’ve been nothing but mean to you.”

 

“I haven’t exactly been nice to you either.”

 

“I know, but you’re hurt. You’ve only ever been mean because you’re hurt.”

 

“Well, I’m trying not to be. I’m trying to get better.” Katara looked into his eyes. “I could… help you.”

 

Zuko frowned. “What do you mean?”

 

“The last time I tried to heal your mind, I was unprepared, and you were unprepared, and your brain didn’t want to let me in. But maybe if we’re both ready for it, I could heal you.”

 

Zuko looked troubled and pulled back. “You’d really want to do that for me?”

 

“I just don’t want you to be so hurt anymore.”

 

Zuko took a long pause. He let out a deep breath. “Okay,” He answered, and leaned back and laid his head on the ground with his eyes closed. “I’m ready.” He said, and Katara brought more water to her hands and put them to Zuko’s temples.

 

 

Dad’s going to kill you, really he is.”

 

Azula is cruel.

 

Azula always lies, Azula always lies.

 

It’s not your fault.

 

“I love you, Zuko. Everything I’ve ever done, I’ve done to protect you. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are.”

 

You didn’t deserve to be left alone.

 

“Where is she?”

 

You deserved to know the truth.

 

“What better to use as bait than fresh meat?”

 

You weren’t wrong for speaking out.

 

“Please, father, I didn’t mean any disrespect! I only had the Fire Nation’s best interests at heart! I am your loyal son, please forgive me!”

 

You were an innocent child.

 

“You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.” 

 

You were never disrespectful.

 

“Prince Zuko, you are on a ship. You have been banished from the Fire Nation. You are only allowed to return once you have captured the Avatar.”

 

You never lost your honor.

 

 

Katara took her hands away and Zuko still laid there, face neutral, eyes closed. After a few minutes, he blinked awake, and stared up at Katara with big soft eyes. She stared back down at him, concerned. “Are you okay? Did that help?” She asked, and Zuko got a look on his face that Katara had never seen before; a smile. It was soft and a little sheepish and kind of bashful, but it was a smile nonetheless. “You know what? Yeah, it really did. Thank you Katara.”

 

Katara smiled softly back down at him too. “You’re welcome, Zuko. And you know what? I think I’m ready to forgive you.”

 

Zuko’s face lit up with a true smile this time, and they both felt lighter than they had in a long time.

Notes:

what did yall think of me coming full circle with the memories thing? im kinda priud of it ngl it reminds me of doing emdr therapy lol so zuko gets a little emdr as a treat

Notes:

Thank you for reading if you want to support me im @honkbeep_ on twitter. As is the case for all my fics i just wrote this for fun in my notes app and I am posting it with no edits or anything so i don’t accept constructive criticism. I do love comments so if you want to leave me a comment I would really appreciate it but you don’t have to.

Works inspired by this one: