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id watched the rain outside of the window, frowning at the thought that they’d only just missed the storm. while she didn’t mind the rain, she never wore shoes when they went outside, relished the entirely foreign feeling of grass under her feet- the sludgy mud wasn’t something she hated but leopold didn’t like it if she trailed mud into the little cottage they’d managed to find and break into after being dumped wherever this was. she’d almost wanted to make a mess just to spite him but had decided against it. for the first time in her short lifetime with a body, id felt like she was dead on her feet, barely able to keep herself up and awake.
she hadn’t slept yet, not entirely sure she needed to and more bothered with exploring her new found freedom with her new found companion. the doctor wasn’t much of a talker, answering her questions as they came with mild irritation. he still cooked for her, had ran her the first bath when they managed to break into this house and had sat there while she screamed after her head slipped under the water.
he also left when she accused him of coddling her and bared her teeth, though he didn’t seem put off by it and hadn’t mentioned it again. as far as idris was concerned, she couldn’t be further from what jemma simmons was. despite this, she often found herself startled by the viscerally negative reaction to things like her head going under the bath water or the thought of standing near the edge of the pond.
her fears never stemmed from leopold.
after that incident in the simulation, they had both kept their distance from one another. the most they’d touched was brushing fingers when passing things or playful shoving on her end. even now, as the rain flooded the grass and plant pots outside their stolen house, he sat on the opposite side of the living room to her, staring out of the window too. something played on the tv that neither of them paid attention to.
“i don’t feel cold anymore.” id’s voice had gradually become less hoarse and painful to use, soothed by the hot soups and teas she rather enjoyed. it was easier on her mouth than to use her teeth, yellowed and crumbling away.
“that’ll be because i’ve lit the fire- you won’t get any warmer stood by the drafty window, though.” that was the longest sentence leopold had spoken to her all week.
she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the window. she almost looked like jemma herself now, ignoring the rotted teeth and deep, deep bags under her eyes. idris didn’t want to look like jemma.
“i like watching the rain. i never got to see it.”
“you can watch the rain from closer to the fireplace,” he mumbled, tilting his head back. he had borrowed some clothing that’d been left here by whoever stayed there before them, his normal style of button up shirt but with jeans and forgoing the jacket and tie. he looked normal, too, not like he’d been ripped from whatever place they both were before. the exhaustion she’d felt before coupled with the sudden... un-cold meant id was struggling to keep her eyes open, jolting a little as she flinched awake when her nose hit the glass of the window. she shook her head and scratched behind her head a little, blinking to try and wake her up and figure out what she should do. maybe she did need to sleep.
a hand was on her arm, fingers tightening around her muscle, grounding her as she looked up at the doctor. “sit down.” he wasn’t asking but she didn’t feel forced either, her legs heavy as she dragged herself to the sofa leopold was just sitting on. idris flopped back, groaning a little as she screwed her eyes closed. she was crashing, she knew that much- nothing felt quite tangible but the grip he still had on her arm, a tether when everything felt too much and not enough all at once.
“feel so… not cold… i don’t know what it- ‘s too much…” she mumbled, trying to wrench her arm out of his grip so she could use it as a pillow, not much caring if she lost herself to whatever she was feeling now. she didn’t know what the feeling was- jemma had never had a trouble with un-cold.
leopold didn’t let go, gaze still washing over her. “that not cold feeling is called warmth. are you too warm? your arm still feels freezing.” the icy nonchalance was gone, replaced by something id hadn’t heard from the doctor before. he almost sounded concerned.
jemma would’ve been scared of the sudden display of emotions, but idris’ fear never stemmed from leopold. she wasn’t scared of him. she could barely get her words out- it felt like she was stuck under all that fear once more, all of simmons’ pain and loss that id was trapped under for so many years.
“i’ve never felt… warmth before.” the words left her feeling weak and torn, like somebody had taken her apart from the inside out. she curled up further into the sofa, her head buried in the arm the doctor didn’t have his fingers twined around. he felt so warm , she now knew, burning like the heat of the flames and bombs jemma had told her about.
her creator had called those things awful, destructive, blamed her pain and suffering on them. idris wasn’t sure why she hated them so much when the feeling of his hand around her arm was keeping her from slipping over the edge of… whatever this was.
“close your eyes, breathe… you need to sleep, you’ll feel normal after,” leopold mumbled, that spark of concern back again. she tried to argue but she couldn’t make the sounds leave her mouth, her tongue heavy like bone. id gritted her teeth- the shock of pain through her jaw made her squeeze her eyes shut, regretting the choice as soon as she made it. she felt something loosen and she pushed it out of her mouth- there was a tooth, blackened and red with blood. before she could think too much about it and let the ebbing fear take hold, the doctor’s other hand plucked it from her palm, putting it somewhere she couldn’t see.
“does it hurt?” he was quiet when he spoke, gentle when he rested his other hand on her jaw, one of them still resting on her arm. it was no longer gripping, not trying to ground her but now soothe her, calm her down when the crackle of pain made her prickle. id closed her eyes, leaning into the warmth of his hands to calm her down. her breathing slowed and she felt the blanket of exhaustion settle over her once more as she was about to fall asleep. id felt herself being moved but didn’t open her eyes, not wanting to be taken away from the warmth of his chest she was now using as a pillow. as fast as she’d realised leopold was now holding her, she was asleep, soothed by the comforting hand on her arm and jaw. id was safe.