Chapter Text
❝ your team is your family. never forget that, ne? ❞
one look at namikaze minato, sasuke already knew he'll be someone sasuke will cherish.
his hair was the color of the sun, kind and gentle blue eyes, a cheery tilt to his mouth as he assessed his genin team, who were merely nine year olds.
namikaze minato is an enigma, sasuke thinks as he watches his sensei laugh cheerfully at naruto's dripping form.
he has been told of tales of namikaze minato; a genius civilian-born who pushed through the horrors of war. who remade the second hokage's famous jutsu, the hiraishin jutsu, and honed it until he was practically known for it.
the yellow flash, his moniker.
his father was pleased when he found out sasuke was going to be taught by a close friend, by a genius, and by someone who was both feared and revered. sasuke was too, until he found out that the blonde man who garnered respect and admiration was a blumbering and clumsy airhead who loved his genin too much that he seemed to be their father. he was also a man with an impossibly pretty face and a charming smile which made the ladies swoon, which made sasuke groan in exasperation, which made naruto squawk in indignation and sakura to smile dreamily. namikaze minato was an enigma, one who appeared to be kind, cheerful, loving and pretty. one who charmed their clients with his pretty smiles and gentle demeanor. one who would always think of his genin before himself.
but namikaze minato was also a shinobi.
he will kill for the benefit of the village, he will slaughter those who tried to harm his team, and he will devour anyone who tries to harm those people he held dear.
(sasuke tried not to remember minato sensei's dark eyes when a chuunin informed him of sakura's kidnapping. he tried not to remember as sweet and cheerful minato sensei left behind a carnage of slaughtered iwagakure enemy nin as he carried an unconscious and injured sakura home. he tried not to remember how minato sensei coldly killed those people who dared to kidnap sakura, how he did not even flinch, even when he faced a barely ten year old genin.
namikaze minato might be kind and cheerful, but he was also a shinobi.
and a shinobi will kill, despite their age and the age of their enemy.)
❝ you were always someone i cherished. tell sakura-chan i love her, 'kay? ❞
sasuke was twelve years old when his world started to crumble.
it started with a simple escort mission. escort a noble to rice country and protect him and his family from bandits and wandering shinobi. it wasn't a hard mission by all rights, so why, oh why did it end up with a chuunin they were working with carrying sasuke's half dead body, leaving naruto to fend off that...that monster?
the mission was compromised from the start, sasuke already knew, but he still went with it. he was overconfident, and naruto, sweet and sun-filled naruto, paid the price for his mistake. sasuke was the team captain, he was the one who was supposed to order and save his subordinates so why was he the one fleeing?
the jounin they faced was huge, blue and looked like a shark. he wielded a huge blade with bandages wrapped around it and deep down, sasuke knew they did not stand a chance. a newly promoted jounin like him and two chuunin's, fighting against a hoshigaki shinobi who wielded one of kirigakure's seven blades? they were going to lose and going to die in this mission, and naruto knew that. that blonde idiot who loved too much and gave too much kenw that.
sasuke was careless and his leg was bleeding profusely. there was no way for him to fight any longer and he wanted to laugh at the sheer fucking irony of it. him. the strongest one. the jounin. he was the first one to fall. the first one to be injured. it was so unbearably painful and humiliating and why was naruto saying good bye to him with teary eyes and why was his vision going dark and why was this chuunin running away and leaving naruto alone why, why, why-
sasuke woke up to the bright and harsh lights of the hospital. he woke up to a sobbing and screaming sakura. he woke up to a deathly pale minato, to a sobbing kushina, to a grieving hokage, to a remorseful chuunin.
october 7th, uzumaki naruto was killed in action by hoshigaki zoki.
❝ i...i'm s-sorry...s-sasuke...-kun... ❞
sasuke was thirteen when half of his heart died.
he remembers it being a complete shitshow for a mission. he and sakura was to regroup with another group of chuunin and jounin when they were ambushed by kirigakure shinobi. sasuke leapt into the fray, eyes swirling as he slashed whoever crossed him.
he forgot about sakura, and she paid for it.
sakura was a medic, the support one. she may be good at taijutsu, but she's been so focused on healing and breathing life onto half dead people that she lacked the fighting skills to defend herself against so many opponents.
her cry made sasuke snap.
he looks at where she was, dread pooling in his gut when he sees the sword impaling where her heart was, and the world burned.
sasuke did not remember the events clearly, but he did remember the waves of anger and grief drowning him, suffocating him as he clutched sakura's cooling body, screaming in anger as his eyes painfully lapsed into the second and most dangerous stage of the sharingan.
the mangyeko sharingan.
he remembers a purple armor coating him as he muttered and cried apologies to sakura. he remembers her hands cupping his face. he remembers her uttering the words that both broke and saved him.
"i...i love you...sasuke...-kun..."
sasuke was thirteen when his world burned.
❝ friend killer, huh? that suits me. ❞
sasuke was fourteen when he lost himself.
he threw himself into ANBU, killing numerous and numerous of people for the sake of his village and it's people. he killed, he murdered, he tortured to make the people of konoha safe, even when it's villagers turned their backs on him
"friend killer uchiha sasuke!"
"the rest of his team died when he was in command."
sasuke ignores the whispers, the glances, and the accusations.
because all of it was true, anyway.
❝ even you weren't safe from my curse, huh? ❞
sasuke was fourteen when his family died.
he remembers the nine tailed monster looming over the village. he remembers the destruction, the death, the blood that surrounded the village. mist of blood lazily swirled around the village as the nine tails destroyed the home he protected.
he remembers the shinigami looming over minato sensei, his hokage cloak whipping around him as he smiles sadly at sasuke.
"you're the only one who i can trust."
he remembers waking up to the makeshift hospital, his chakra heavy and violent. he remembers waking up to the news that the only family he had left was gone too, sacrificed himself for the benefit of the village. kushina was gone, too. died when the kyuubi was extracted from her.
sasuke was fourteen when he gave up.
he threw himself into ANBU, training until the sun came up to adjust to the new chakra he had to use. he threw himself into the dangerous missions, hoping that maybe he'll die in a new mission but whenever he attempted to, the scowl of naruto, the disappointed look in sakura, and the expectant gaze of minato sensei made him stop.
he'd try.
(he'd try, even if blood coated his hands.
he'd try, for his family.)
the uchiha clan was massacred one night when he was on a mission. killed by uchiha itachi, heir of the clan.
there was only one survivor, and that was uchiha obito, age seven.
he did not cry.
sasuke placed his mask down, his coal eyes tired and heavy.
the sandaime looks at him wearily, his lips pulled into a tired smile. "be a jounin sensei and guide the next generation, sasuke-kun."
(he flinches because the last one who called him that died. he wonders if sakura will still love him if she sees him. he wonders if naruto will still be able to look at him with his bloodstained hands. he wonders if minato sensei will still ruffle his hair.)
sasuke wanted to argue, to say that his talents laid in killing and not teaching. his talents laid where he could kill and kill and kill and he will no longer feel remorse.
but he's a good shinobi and good shinobi's don't argue with their kage.
he bows and accepts the flak jacket.
(his nightmares were more vivid than usual this time. sakura yelling at him on why did he let her die, naruto screaming why he left him, and minato sensei looking at him with disgust.
he knew they won't ever do this. knew sakura will never blame him. knew naruto was too selfless. knew minato looked at him like a son.
but maybe he's tired and he's done, so he accepts their words.)
he stares at his team and asks the world why me?
uchiha obito, and sasuke could already see naruto's sunshine smile overlapping his.
nohara rin, and sasuke could already feel the warmth of sakura's healing chakra.
hatake kakashi, and sasuke could already see the protectiveness in him, so reminiscent of his own when his team was still alive.
but maybe this time, there will be a second chance.
so he grunts, nods, and tells them,
"team seven led by uchiha sasuke? meet me in the roof."
maybe this time, he can save them and prevent their team dying.
maybe this time, he can be someone's salvation, instead of being their destruction.