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Alex can still feel the soft press of Luke's lips on his.
Luke had been oh so gentle, brushing his lips past his ones, twice, as a feather so light, before pressing their mouths against each other, just as gentle. It only had been mere seconds, but it had felt like an eternity. He had wanted this for so long, and now it had finally happened.
Luke's hands are on both sides of his face, holding him as he slowly moves back. Not going far, just enough so they are no longer touching. His thumbs press softly against his cheekbones.
"Can you look at me?" Luke asks softly, his warm breath dancing over his skin. Setting his nerve endings on fire. Alex squeezes his eyes even further shut, shaking his head quietly. Hairs fall down onto his face and his necklace moves against his chest.
Luke's fingers brush over his cheeks, following his cheekbones. Touch so soft as the morning sun, ghosting over his skin.
"Okay." He murmurs, fingertips flowing lower, along the side of his nose. Brushing over his lips with his thumb. Alex's mouth parts slightly, his whole face warm and sensitive, swallowing the lump in his throat. Luke runs his thumb over his upper lip, pulling softly at his lower lip. Alex breath shudders in his throat, gasping softly. Luke makes the movement again, aware of the power he has over him.
"Why don't you wanna open your eyes?" Luke asks, his hands cupping his face, softly pressing a kiss to each of his closed eyelids, feather light. Acting as if he isn’t setting Alex’s whole body on fire.
"I'm scared." He croaks out, wanting to reach out, touch Luke with the same gentleness. Run his fingers over his arms, kissing every birthmark and freckle he comes across. Letting his hand play with his hair, touching his face, neck, shoulders. For as long as Luke lets him.
He doesn’t move.
Luke kisses the tip of his nose, lingering there. His breath rolls over his face, warming it. His cheeks feel like they are made of fire, like the sun before it disappears behind the horizon.
"What makes you so afraid?" Luke's fingertips hover over his face, tenderly gliding up, brushing fallen hairs out of his face. His fingers run over his ear. Following it back to his jaw.
"I'm scared that if I open my eyes, you wouldn't look at me the way I look at you."
He knows, he really knows, that Luke will look at him the same way, with how his fingers don't falter a second when he speaks up about his fear. With how he moves his hands back to cup his face, hot air growing around them. But even knowing that, it doesn't make it less scary.
"Look at me, Alex." Luke says, just as gentle as his fingers, but firm, not giving any room for contradiction. His thumb moves in slow circles against his jaw.
Alex swallows, trying to tell himself to look, that it isn't that difficult, that he should be able to get it done, just get it over with. His brain won't listen. Luke's lips graze over his jaw, placing small pecks on his skin.
"I don't mean right now. Take all the time you need, I know it is a lot. I'll wait till you can open your eyes." Luke says against his skin, sounding like he would wait till the end of the world. Even doing it gladly if it takes till then.
"This shouldn't be hard." Alex mutters, more to himself then to Luke, but he reacts anyway. Luke puffs out a breath of hot air, shuffling closer. His knee bumps against his.
"But it is, because it is so much more than only opening your eyes." One hand lets go of his face, cold air taking its place. Fingers nimbly tap their way up from his ear to his forehead.
"You did it." Alex says, unsure what he means by it. Luke's index finger brushes over his eyelids. Then over his brows, soothing, slowly removing the frown between them.
"Yeah, I guess I did." Luke says sweetly. Not stopping with touching every inch of his face. Alex cherishes every touch, every stroke. Knowing one day, he wouldn't be able to feel this any more.
"Maybe I'm also scared that when I open my eyes, this will be real." This time Luke's hands stop moving on his face. And Alex feels like his blood is being replaced by ice water.
"Why would that be a bad thing?" Luke whispers, both hands back to cradling his face. Warm palms against his skin. Moving even closer. Breath gliding over his face, over his mouth.
He can no longer feel the soft press of Luke's lips on his.
"Because real things can disappear." He breaths out. His blood slowly flows back through him, hot like fire. Heating him to boiling point. Steam filling his veins. He doesn't understand how Luke's fingers don't burn against his skin. How Luke doesn’t move away, leaving him to burn himself down to the ground, till only ash is left.
"Alex, please, look at me." Luke presses their foreheads together, taking in a shuddering breath. Luke’s forehead is colder, cooling him down. Alex feels the pressure of each of his fingers, sincere and steady.
"I won't disappear. I promise you, I won't."
"Okay," Alex mutters, slowly opening his eyes. His eyelashes stick to his cheeks. When did he start crying?
"Okay." He says again, more confident, but merely above a whisper. His breath mixes with Luke's.
Luke looks up at the same time, that soft smile on his lips. And Alex knows, he really knows, that he has fallen so hard, so deep, that he will never get out again. He also knows that he doesn't care, not when Luke looks at him like he is a wonder of nature. His eyes filled with warmth and adoration.
Luke leans close, giving him enough time to move away. Inches from his face he stops. Luke’s graze shifts from his lips up to his eyes.
“Hey.” he says, as if they are the only people in the world. Alex lets out a breathless laugh.
“Hi.”
Alex can still feel the soft press of Luke's lips on his.