Chapter Text
“I think I’m gonna hit the hay for tonight, Penny, I’m exhausted. What a day!” Penny Haywood couldn’t help but giggle as her friend and fellow Hufflepuff student Tonks pulled away from the hug they’d been sharing, a big smile on her exhausted face. Even the notorious party girl and prankster had been tired out by the festival for the celebration of magic. It really had been a long but exciting day, even if things hadn’t gone as she’d hoped.
It had been wild, attending classes outside, campaigning for the spot of festival ambassador, the festival itself...not to mention an exciting duel between a supposed legend and one of Hogwarts’ prodigies, one of her friends, and the boy she had had a crush on for years now.
That thought made her face fall a bit, and Tonks, as empathetic and loyal as she was, caught it instantly, her smile growing soft as she placed her hands on Penny’s shoulders.
“Hey, listen. I know you’re probably disappointed about the whole...festival ambassador thing. But you had a great run, and got a lot of votes!” Tonks said, and she really did appreciate the support even if that wasn’t what she was truly upset by.
“Yeah, you’re right. And besides, you saw how happy Alex and Merula were! So even though I lost, that’s no reason to be sad…” Penny’s smile was bright and cheery, but judging by the look on Tonks’ face it wasn’t convincing. The other girl pulled her into another hug, and after a moment Penny returned the embrace, her breath coming out hitched. When Tonks pulled away again, the expression on her face was a little sad.
“If you need me...you know where I am.” Penny nodded, but she no longer met the prankster’s eyes, and as she heard her friend’s footsteps grow more and more distant, she finally went back inside her room and sat down on her bed.
Closing her eyes, she thought back on what happened today again. Her hands clenched involuntarily, and she only realized when she felt her nails biting into the palms of her hands.
The truth be told, it wasn’t losing the competition for the position of festival ambassador that was bothering her. It was disappointing, she wouldn’t deny that, but it was another competition she had lost today that was really digging into her.
‘Though, is it really that much of a competition? When your opponent has the lead on you 4-0, it’s not much of a fight…’ And didn’t that just sting the most? If she had gotten even a single ‘point’ in this match, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much. But she’d been unable to gain a single victory over her rival, a single moment of success and happiness and perhaps love.
Merula Snyde had once again emerged victorious, seemingly without any effort at all.
Perhaps the one positive of how one-sided this contest was was that she didn’t even really feel hurt anymore, just tired and a little disappointed. She knew she had no real chance with her crush. With Alexander Ambrosius.
Alexander, Alex to most of his friends, Al to Rowan and Bill, Lex to Tonks and Barnaby, was a proud member of Gryfindor, the younger brother of Jacob Ambrosius, and the rising star of Hogwarts, a young man who had led his house to victory after victory every year. He was brave and kind, sly and teasing, smart and strong, and loyal to all those he called his friends. He was also the boy Penny’s heart longed for. And the boy it seemed was beyond her reach.
That wasn’t to say he was distant, or that he was ignoring her. That he didn’t still consider one of his cherished friends. Alex had always been there for her when she needed him, and that hadn’t changed now. The red-head had taken to her beloved sister’s case like a bloodhound, searching out any clues or hints relentlessly, checking in on her to make sure she was doing alright. He had kept her from doing anything rash or self-destructive, and for that she was forever grateful. And from what he had told her, he and his group were very close to breaking the portrait curse and freeing Bea. She should have been happy.
Except that, for as much as his friendship made her heart soar, she wanted more than just friendship. For as happy as knowing how close the curse breakers were to freeing her sister should have made her, it was spoiled by knowing Merula was among the group, and that she was now around Alex far more than anyone else was. Even worse since Alex specifically chose her to be with him on his missions.
When did things change? When did Alex and Merula go from sworn enemies to rivals to friends? To perhaps even lovers? Penny asked herself this, but she knew the truth. It had been something that had been happening for years, as the two competed against each other in classes and with the Cursed Vaults and so much more. With anyone else, such competition would have poisoned them against each other for life, but Alex and Merula revelled in it.
The two had been, even before this year, seeking each other out whenever they could. Duels, races, verbal sparring matches, competitions to see who could get better grades, the two always seemed eager to try and outdo each other. She’d heard Ismelda grumbling for the two of them to just ‘get a room and shag already’ for some time now, and while the two hadn’t actually done such a thing yet, at least she hoped, they’d certainly grown closer.
Perhaps, the truth was it all really started during their first year at Hogwarts, at the height of their rivalry and Merula’s nastiness. It was on Christmas, and the Slytherin girl was, to the surprise of no one, not exactly drowning in gifts. She hated feeling satisfaction at other’s misery, but Penny didn’t exactly think Merula deserved anything special after the way she acted.
But Alex apparently thought otherwise. Otherwise, why else would he have been the only one to get her a gift?
It was Christmas Day, and a young Penny Haywood could not help but feel excited. She was surrounded by all her new friends that she had made at Hogwarts, and all of them were taking the time to exchange gifts and talk about what they hoped to get. Alexander Ambrosius, or Alex as he had insisted he be called, was sitting with them, his emerald eyes shining with happiness, and as her own eyes met his, he gave her a warm smile, warm enough to make her own face heat up.
And yet, for as happy as he looked, there was also a strange hesitation to him, as if he was thinking of doing something but was unsure of whether to go through with it or not. His gaze occasionally drifted from their group to elsewhere, and in his hands Penny saw him fiddling with something. A present? Oh, yes, that’s what it was. He tapped his fingers on the table, an odd, irregular beat, and the blonde Hufflepuff girl realized that the normally confident boy was nervous about something. But what could it be?
‘Perhaps he’s waiting for someone? Another friend he was expecting, and that’s who the present is for?’ Penny wondered. She couldn’t deny feeling curious, and she leaned forward a bit, trying to see if she could sneak a peek at what he was hiding. But whatever it was, it was rather carefully stored in a wrapped present box, so she couldn’t tell what it might be.
Suddenly, Alex stood up, and for a moment Penny worried he might have seen her trying to peek and had taken offense to it. But he was still smiling, albeit a bit awkwardly, and his voice held no anger or annoyance to it.
“Be right back, guys. Have to deliver a present to someone.” Alex spoke, and Penny felt her curiosity grow. Who could it be that he had to deliver a present to, and why did he look so nervous?
The rest of their friends wished him well, and told him to come back as soon as he could so they could all open their presents together, before going back to laughing and talking with each other. Penny, still very curious, kept her eye on Alex, trying to see where he was going, and despite herself felt her jaw drop just a bit, her eyes going wide.
Because Alex was going to Merula’s table. Striding towards it with clear intent, and if Penny was not so disbelieving of what she was seeing she might have wondered how no one else was noticing him. The young wizard wasn’t exactly what most would call plain or unnoticeable. What was he doing?
It did not take Merula long for her to notice her enemy’s arrival at her table, and she looked just as confused as Penny felt. The tables were set apart from each other, but not so far that Penny couldn’t hear them if she strained her ears. And she did, because she just had to know what in the world was happening.
“You seriously got me something?” Merula asked, her voice tinged with disbelief. It did not become any less disbelieving or confused when Alex sat down across from her. “You’re such an idiot.”
“Ah, just open your present, Merula.” Alex’s voice was a little harder to hear since his back was turned to her, but the exasperation could have been heard from a mile away. Which was weird, since if he was so annoyed by her attitude, why had he gone over to her in the first place?
Whatever his reasons, Merula tore into the present with surprising eagerness for it having been a gift from her rival, giving it only a token shake, but then, it was her only present, so Penny supposed it wasn’t that surprising. When she finally opened it, the witch’s eyes went wide, and the blonde’s own eyes looked down to see that within the box had been a song book of all things.
“You got me a song book?” Penny pre-emptively winced as she heard that, already expecting Merula to tear into Alex for giving her such a thing, with some cruel remark for his kind gift.
“I know it’s sort of strange, but I--” For the first time since she’d known him, Alex sounded somewhat nervous and embarrassed, and Penny was about to stand up to help her friend, knowing what would come next, only for what she thought would come next never to come.
“How did you know I wanted a song book?” Merula instead said, shocking Penny into stillness. Of all the things she had been expecting as a response, that had not been one of them. Alex had apparently been surprised too, since she saw him shift a bit.
“W-well, truth be told? I didn’t, really. Peeves told me. Do you...like to sing?”
“I…” Merula started, only to stop again, sounding surprisingly hesitant. Then she seemed to steel herself, and if Penny had not already been seated, what Merula said next might have sent her toppling over.
“Thank you, Alex.” And Merula smiled a surprisingly dazzling smile, one that seemed so at odds with the near constant scowl that adorned her face. “Happy Christmas.”
Though Penny could not see Alex’s face, she could guess what it looked like by the way he sat. First, an expression of shock and disbelief, and then, another of his warm smiles, this time directed Merula’s way for the first time.
“Merry Christmas, Merula.” Alex said back, voice as warm as it would have been if he was talking to one of his friends rather than his rival. And perhaps it was a trick of the light, but Penny could have sworn she saw a brief streak of red across Merula’s face, and something about the way the Slytherin girl looked at Alex seemed to change.
For some reason, it made her feel cold.
After that, Merula had come to sit at their table, prompted by Alex, and while their other friends seemed unsure about it, Penny herself felt unsure about something else entirely. Why had she felt cold? Why had she been disturbed by this change in behaviour between the two? She should have been happy, right? It hadn’t even been limited to just Alex giving Merula a present, either: the other girl had also taught him a spell, one that created snow, and while she had gone back to her normally angry, scowling self soon enough, storming off and demanding she be left alone, she had come back again later to join the party in the Great Hall, and even encouraged Alex to cast the spell she had taught him
It had been bizarre, and no one was quite sure what to think of it, Alex and Merula themselves most of all. The two seemed to renew their usual rivalry right after, but there was something different about it, something no one could quite place.
Time after time, the two seemed to run into each other again and again. Sometimes as enemies, sometimes as reluctant allies, but whatever the case, the two seemed almost drawn to each other. And perhaps, perhaps that would have been fine. Even if they became friendly rivals, they were still rivals, so what did it matter? Except it did matter, because they didn’t remain rivals, or if they did, they were the closest rivals she had ever seen. It was, after all, not often that someone took their rival to a ball as their date.
The Celestial Ball, their fourth year. It was something that came with deeply mixed feelings for Penny. On the other hand, there was pride in having set it up, in having made it as wonderful as it was along with her friends, all without the use of magic. Granted, she had needed some help from Alex to help convince her other friends of that last point, but she was fine with that. The joy of having worked to make it, the laughs she had shared with her friends setting it up, it had all been so innocent and silly. That part of her memory, at least, refused to be tainted. The problem came with what happened at the dance itself.
More specifically, the fact that Alex had chosen Merula as his dance partner and date rather than her.
And she didn’t think she was being unreasonable in that regard, at least. She knew that, for all that Alex and Merula’s relationship had shifted over the years, the two were still rivals. Sure, his grumblings about her had grown more and more good-natured over the years. Sure, her insults and barbs had been filled with less venom and more playfulness. Yes, he had taken to calling her ‘Firebrand’ in a tone that almost sounded fond, and of course, Merula calling him a ‘daft fool’ or something along those lines had started to sound like a nickname rather than an insult, but it didn’t actually mean anything, right?
Her pillow that night had been more than a little wet after realizing just how wrong she was.
“Wotcher, Penny! Have you asked Lex out to the ball yet~?” Tonks was teasing her again, and Penny couldn’t help but blush at the mention of her crush, or more specifically, the idea of asking him out to the dance. She wanted to, so very very much, but she was too nervous. Alex hadn’t approached her yet, or any of their other friends, so part of her wondered if he was even planning to take a date, or if he was going to go by himself out of nervousness or disinterest.
“Tonks, please. I promise, I’ll ask him sometime before the ball, I’m just...nervous.” Penny responded as she refused to meet her friend’s eyes, even as she heard a laugh from the other girl. Then, feeling just a bit mischievous, she said, “And what about you? Who’s your date to the ball?” The laughter turned into a surprised choking fit, and Penny couldn’t help but grin.
“A-ah, well, I don’t really fancy anyone like that, so I haven’t asked anyone...or been asked…” Now it was Tonks’ turn to refuse to meet her eye, and Penny felt more than a little amused at the sight. Before she could say anything else, however, she started to hear the whispers their fellow students were spreading. Rumors spread like magic at Hogwarts, and so it wasn’t really surprising to hear some new rumor spreading so rapidly. What was surprising were the contents of these rumors, however.
“Did’ja hear? Red-head Alex has got himself a date to the ball!”
“What? You mean Alexander Ambrosius? Who’s the lucky lass that bagged him?”
“C’mon now, you know there’s only one girl Alex chases after.”
“You mean Merula Snyde?! The self-proclaimed ‘Most Powerful Witch’, the girl he’s always badgering with, the one who can’t seem to decide whether she wants to kiss him or kill him?”
“That’s the one!”
“Oh bollocks, I’ll believe it when I see it. Those two are like cats and dogs!”
“Pretty sure cats and dogs don’t take each other to the ball, mate.”
Penny felt her heart stop, and for some reason she found it hard to breath. Alex? Going to the dance? With Merula?! Not...not her? She swallowed, finding it hard to breathe for some reason. Tonks put her hand on Penny’s shoulder, and she turned to face her friend, who looked concerned.
“Penny...Penny, they’re just rumors. You know how wild rumors can get at Hogwarts, there’s no guarantee that he’s actually going out with her to the Celestial Ball. I mean, why would he?” A nervous chuckle left Tonks’ lips, and Penny’s heart sank just a bit. “I even mentioned that you...may or may not have wanted him to take you to the dance earlier. I’m sure he…” But the prankster didn’t finish, and a thought occurred to Penny that sunk her heart deeper.
‘But did he want to take me to the dance?’
It had been something she fretted about for some time. Tonks had left, ostensibly to tease Alex about the rumors and see if there was any truth to them. When she’d come back later, her face had been downcast, and Penny almost wanted to cry. It wasn’t true, it couldn’t be true. It was all a joke, right? Alex and Merula were constantly bickering, throwing jabs at each other at any chance they could. Why would either of them go to the ball with each other? But she couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe she was wrong.
Later that night, at the ball itself, she saw Alex talking with Rowan and Ben, wearing an outfit that, well, it looked rather fetching on him if she was being honest. Rowan and Ben looked rather nice as well, and she supposed that confirmed the rumors of Andre taking an interest in fashion and sharing his work with his friends. The three were happily chatting, and Penny saw her opportunity to speak with Alex and not only thank him for all of his help...but to also learn the truth, and if the rumors were wrong after all, maybe, maybe this could still be their night.
“Apologies, I need to steal Alex for a moment!” Penny’s voice was light despite her inner thoughts and worries, and when Alex turned to her with that warm smile she so adored, she felt like perhaps there was a chance after all. After quickly saying his goodbyes, he followed her to a short distance away, hopefully out of hearing of others. For a moment, they made a bit of small talk: she complimented his outfit, he told her she looked pretty in her dress, she blushed, that sort of thing. Then…
“It may sound soppy, but I feel like you’ve been part of my Celestial Ball journey from the start!” Penny informed her friend, her smile bright and voice bubbly, and Alex blinked for a moment before giving her a big grin.
“You’ve been part of my journey as well, and I’m glad you were. You certainly know how to make it a wild ride!” Alex winked at her, not feeling the least bit of shame for teasing her in such a way, and Penny couldn’t help the nervous giggles or the butterflies in her stomach. Then, his expression returned to something more amicable, and he asked, “After all that drama, has your name been announced yet?”
Almost right after he asked, Dumbledore stepped forward at the front of the room, the grandfatherly wizard calling for attention before recognizing her in front of the entire Celestial Ball, complimenting her work and turning to her a smile filled with pride. Warmth filled Penny, and she stood up as straight as she could, her face actually hurting a bit from the wide smile stretching across it. It was a feeling like none other that Penny had ever experienced, and she knew that this moment was something she would cherish forever.
“Aaaah! I feel like I may explode with joy right now!” Penny couldn’t help but shout out her glee and pride, and beside her she heard Alex laugh and offer his own congratulations for her work. It was the height of her night, standing next to her crush after having been acknowledged by Dumbledore himself for all her hard work and dedication. She felt proud, joyous, like she could do anything.
So perhaps it only made sense that the rest of the night was a steep drop down.
Well, perhaps that was inaccurate. Seeing William ‘Bill’ Weasley was certainly no downside, the older boy happily greeting them both. She rather liked Bill, seeing him as an older brother figure, someone she knew she could trust, even if he could be a bit of a tease himself. He was laid back and serious, casual and hardworking, a responsible person who cared for others. And she certainly enjoyed seeing him turn down Emily, giving the nasty girl the dressing down she deserved. But it was something he said before that that started the downwards spiral of the night.
“And did things work out for you with bringing a date, Al?” Bill asked, not noticing how her face had paled and how the butterflies in her stomach had become wasps all of a sudden. And then Alex, smiling wider than she’d ever seen him smile before, made it even worse.
“You bet they did! I’m here with-” Penny wasn’t sure whether she was grateful or annoyed by Emily interrupting them. Grateful that she didn’t have to hear who Alex was here with, or annoyed that she didn’t get to find out. Either way, Bill’s blatant refusal of her left Emily stunned, and the blond Hufflepuff, driven by both her pre-established dislike of the older girl and the dark feelings bubbling up inside of her knowing that Alex was here with someone else, and possibly with the one Penny dearly hoped he wasn’t, led her to drop a bit of sarcasm herself.
“I’ll walk you out, Emily. And by the way, nice hair.” Ignoring Emily’s subsequent whining, Penny escorted the older girl out, all while trying not to focus on the revelation she’d just had about Alex and his mysterious date. Emily, thankfully, was too embarrassed to put up too much of a fight, though her complaining and ranting had taken up more of Penny’s time and patience than she would have ever wanted. She wanted to return by Alex’s side as soon as possible, to find out what was happening, who he was there with, and, and, maybe why he had chosen to go out with them instead of her.
But unfortunately, it was not to be. Friends, well-wishers, party goers, and even some of the staff all took up her time, congratulating her on a job well done. And as happy as that made her, it wasn’t what she was after now. But perhaps she should have let them distract her, so she didn’t have to see what she did when she finally found Alex again.
Because with him was none other than Merula Snyde, and to the blonde’s muted horror, her fellow witch had cleaned up quite nicely, wearing a dress that perfectly accentuated her figure without being revealing or trashy. Penny had always known that Merula was beautiful, but seeing her like this, and worse, seeing her like this with Alex, Penny felt like she had shrunk down, as if seeing the two together like this had cost her a few inches of height. Her mouth felt dry, while her tongue was glued to the roof of her mouth. Her eyes were starting to grow wet, and she wondered briefly if someone had cast a paralysis spell on her, because she couldn’t seem to move.
The two were talking, chatting, smiling and laughing together, and she felt the same chill she had on that Christmas so many years ago.
“Ambrosius! I was about to give up on you. I thought maybe you changed your mind.”
“Merula! That’s quite the dress! You look beautiful!”
“Well, I made an effort. You did, too. I mean, you look nice. Very nice. Now let’s check out this dance together.”
‘Stop it. Stop it, please’ Penny begged, but the problem with begging with your thoughts is that only Legilimens could hear you.
“Quite the crowd, eh, Firebrand? Looks like there’s people from every year of Hogwarts.”
“Still going with that ridiculous nickname? I see you’re just as much of a daft fool as ever.”
“What, would you prefer something more cutesy like Songbird?”
“Songbird?”
“Merula means blackbird, after all, and I know you like singing. So it fits, yeah?”
“I’m...surprised you know what my name means.”
“I like to learn things about the people that are important to me.”
Now there really were tears starting to prickle at her eyes, and it seemed more and more like the noise from the rest of the ball was becoming like static, and all she could hear was the conversation she wanted to hear the least. Her feat, as if enchanted by some form of magic, moved on their own, carrying her closer to the two.
“You know, I didn’t know what to expect tonight. After all the planning and drama we all went through setting this whole thing up…” Alex shook his head, a smaller smile than his usual on his face. “But I think it was all worth it. The Celestial Ball has been really special.” Then he paused, and laughed. “And hey, looks like Tonks was right. Out of all of our friends, we’re the only ones here with a date!”
“I don’t know if I’m more surprised that I’m your date,” Merula spoke, raising an eyebrow at Alex, “Or that you just lumped me in with your group of friends.”
“Hey, it’s not like we’re mortal enemies, right? At least, not all of the time.” Alex shot back, and if her eyes weren’t deceiving her he moved perhaps just a bit closer to Merula.
“Well, I’m glad you’re not my enemy tonight, Alex. I’m glad you’re my Celestial Ball date. For someone so ridiculous, you’re...pleasant to be around like this.” Merula almost seemed shy, with the way she fidgeted, turned, and smiled towards Alex. And yet, it seemed like she too was moving just a bit closer.
Finally, Penny regained control of her body, of her legs, and while she didn’t quite run out of the ball, it was a near thing. Tears were now openly streaming down her face, and she desperately hoped that no one had seen. Why? Why was he with Merula? She was terrible! She was mean and angry and completely unrepentant of anything she had ever done, so why was she the one that Alex wanted to dance with?
Was the fighting and squabbling part of it? Alex had once joked that he was the type of boy that pulled his crush’s pigtails, but what if that hadn’t been a joke? Merula, who once bullied others at any chance she got, more and more had focused her attention on Alex. Was that her own way of showing her feelings, challenging the boy and making him push her back? That wasn’t how relationships were supposed to work, not any relationship she’d ever heard of! Her parents weren’t like that, the couples she read about in stories weren’t like that, so why were Alex and Merula like that?
When she finally reached her room, Penny flopped down on her bed and started to cry, her pillow soon growing soaked as she let out her anguish on it. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair, she was Alex’s friend, not Merula! She was the one who did things with him like set up the ball or hang out as friends, rather than challenging him to duels or insulting him. And yet, somehow it was only Merula he chased after, only Merula that he had eyes for. Why? Why?
She didn’t know how long she had laid in her bed crying. It might have been minutes, or hours, but she was oblivious to it. It was a knock on her door and the reluctant, worried voice of her friend Tonks that brought her back to reality.
“Penny? Penny are you okay?” Penny sniffled, not saying anything for a while, but when she was finally about to open her mouth and respond, another voice spoke up and her eyes went wide.
“...Penny? You disappeared during the ball, and no one knew where you went. Are you-” Whatever he was about to say was cut off by a fresh round of sobs from her, and she was sure that Alex had probably recoiled from the door upon hearing it.
“Um, ah...Lex, Lex I think it might be better if you went.”
“Did, did I do something wrong? I...you’re right. Sorry. I-I hope you feel better, Penny.”
It was funny how a perfect night could go so wrong so quickly.