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Staring at the night sky on a school’s rooftop used to be one of the best moments in Kim Dokja’s life. Especially when there was a certain someone there beside him.
“I thought this was my spot...”
There was another male student, about a year younger than him lying flat down and gazing up in the sky. He didn’t recall anyone who looked as handsome as this person here in this school, a new student? No, there aren’t any for this year. So who might he be?
The stranger looked...emotionless. His eyes were darker than the stormy nights Kim Dokja spent alone. Not even his breath can be heard. Kim Dokja tried his best not to make a sound while slowly closing the door to find a new place to rest.
“I can hear you.” Was all he said.
That was their first encounter. On one night, under the stars.
—————
Without knowing the reason why, he met with the mysterious boy every night. They won’t share a single word, just gazing at the sky. He found this peaceful and relaxing. Somehow being with this stranger made him feel safe and protected, that he can do anything in the world.
His middle school was wasted like that. He became a high schooler, yet that man is always there. Like he was waiting.
They both are used to each other’s company without sharing a single word. Without knowing each other’s name. Kim Dokja felt no needs for words, or any gestures.
Sometimes the unknown man would leave first, every single time before he closed the door, he would glance back at him and wave his hand. It felt comforting. It felt really good. He had never felt like this before in his life.
“Why are you always here?” He says sitting down beside the man.
“I was waiting,” without looking back at him, he answered and paused for a while
“for someone.” He never removed his gaze from the night sky.
Such a dark void. Deep and scary. If you gaze at it for too long, it might eat you alive and leave nothing but a broken image of your soul. That’s what made it beautiful. Deadly, but worth the risk. Just like life.
—————
“Why are you covered in- blood?” With his back up against the railings of the rooftop, dark red liquid flown down his head. He glanced at Kim Dokja’s way, and without a word he sat down, facing him. Kim Dokja was confused, but he sat beside the man.
He handed the man a handkerchief. He took the handkerchief and wiped out his ‘blood’. Kim Dokja shifted his gaze back at the bright sky.
It was not nighttime yet, he always skipped class and hidden himself here. The only thing different now was that there was someone beside him.
It now felt...familiar.
—————
One day he wasn’t there. There was no one on the rooftop, lying on the floor and gazing up. There was no one. He walked to the place he used to sit at and placed his hand on the spot next to it.
It’s cold.
He hated the cold. It brought back unpleasant memories. He hated every single second of winter. He hated it so bad, he skipped the entire week of school to stay in his house and sleep all day.
It’s all the same. The feeling of emptiness.
Nothing had changed and it never will.
Not knowing how long he had stayed there, he fell unconscious.
A presence of someone loomed over him. He was startled, but the feeling that he wasn’t alone comforted him, just a little. His eyes fluttered open. He felt that he was lying on his lap, the feeling of the cold floor was gone. It felt great. He almost smiled.
The man didn’t move, he continued to stare at him, like Kim Dokja was his world. His eyes reflected the light of the night sky. It was mesmerizing. But he knew if he stared for too long, he’ll get false hope.
“I’ve never knew your name.” It was barely louder than a whisper, but he knew that the other person could hear him.
“Yoo Jonghyuk, it’s Yoo Jonghyuk” his voice made butterflies inside of him. His voice was monotone, no emotions could be heard in his voice. However for Kim Dokja, he’s experiencing every single emotions he had never felt before in his entire life.
It was addicting.
“What’s yours?” Yoo Jonghyuk placed his hands on Kim Dokja’s shoulder. It was a small motion, but the world seemed to stop for him. The night sky was fading away. He knew what he felt. It was confusing at first, but that does not mean that he was dense to this.
He shone brighter than any constellations.
“Kim Dokja.”
—————
He disappeared, again. It was nothing new. After he learned Yoo Jonghyuk’s name, that said person has not appeared on the rooftop for four weeks. But he kept on waiting, getting used to the presence of someone other than him and the nebulas.
It was too quick for him to adapt. He should’ve known nothing stays forever. He should’ve known that better than anyone else.
Another day had passed. The days became a week. And the weeks became a month.
He still hasn’t returned. The night sky felt more quiet then usual. The stars shone brightly in sky, but something was missing. He didn’t like his feeling. The feeling of emptiness.
Has he moved on? Had he forgotten about him? Did he get bored? Was he annoyed? Why did he leave? Why hasn’t he came back? Where is he? Is he-
The questions that are flooding his mind came to an end when the door slammed open. He flinched and turned in surprise, he felt relieved that the man came back and didn’t leave.
However, it was not him.
His school bullies. The one that drove him out of his daily routine of study. The one that forced him to smoke and get caught by the teacher. The one that got him suspended from school for a lie. The one that made his life a living hell.
Were standing in front of him.
Every trauma that he felt and all the emotions that he forgotten flown back to his mind like a waterfall. It was well hidden, but only one click could bring the nightmares back.
They moved forwards, he trembled as they got closer. The man in front slammed Kim Dokja’s head to the fence behind him. He cried out loudly. Sadly, no matter how much he begged, no one every came saving him.
‘Please let it end. Please be a dream. Let me wake up.’ Were the lies that he told himself. He knew that the pain was far too real. This was not a dream. Yet, if he could at least have a little ray of hope shining in the door, he’ll survive.
The torture stopped. They all left. He was alone, again. His bloody and ripped clothes were too much of a mess for anyone to recognize him as a student.
Oh how pathetic that he thought that someone cared. No one will ever do, and he knows that fact very well. It was upsetting and disappointing, but he can’t do anything to change it.
Well, that’s what he thought.
He came running in. With a handkerchief to wipe his blood away. His hand was warm, yet felt faraway. He felt like all his problems were melting. The slightly worried look in his eyes made Kim Dokja feel more...important.
That was all it takes. The look in his eyes. Oh, how he wished he had another chance to witness it again.
—————
They met more frequently. For some reason, Kim Dokja decided not to ask for the reason why Yoo Jonghyuk hasn’t visited the rooftop for a whole month. He ignored his trembling heart and stared at the darkness.
There were no stars in the night sky tonight. It seems like all the lights in the sky were turned off. It was clearly hard to see. Yet he still came up to the rooftop, to meet a certain someone.
“You’re here.” The man said without turning around. He was leaning against the fence. His eyes moved slowly to capture the perfect view. Kim Dokja stood beside him, he’s taken a notice that, the youngster, was actually taller than him, a lot. He felt a little bad after knowing that he was always this weak.
“It’s pretty.” Barely louder than a whisper. He still heard it. Every single word. “It sure is.” Their conversation ended there, no one had exchange a word since. The both of them stared into the endless night sky. Not knowing when the sun will rise again.
—————
It’s this day. He knew it was the right time to end it. He had to snap out. He knew that Yoo Jonghyuk would leave, just like everyone else did. He knew. Yet why does he hold on? Why does every single small hope given from him, he’ll take the bait and waltz to it. Like a bug getting caught in a Venus flytrap . It was irresistible.
He met him again. The same place. Under the stars. On a Friday night.
He knew this feeling so well. He knows. Yet, why doesn’t he let go? It’s too much for him. He needs to stop. He knows damn well. But he wanted to live in this paradise for a little while longer.
They both stared each other. Without saying a word Kim Dokja hugged Yoo Jonghyuk. It was a quick hug. That was all he asked for, just a single moment of happiness
“Thank you.” he held his hands. Not letting go.
He knew if he let this man go, he will never ever, get to see him again.
“It was my job. Someone has to take care of you. So please, remember our promise.” He smiled. The painfully familiar smile made him tear up. This was one of his first smiles in his memories, and he knew this is the last time he got to see it. He just couldn’t accept the fact-
[So please, just let me hold you. For the last time]
[I’ll never forget you.]
[I missed you.]
-that Yoo Jonghyuk died a year ago.
—————
“On 17th of September 2016, 01:37 am, a high schooler named Yoo Jonghyuk was found dead on the rooftop of S.T. High. Police reported that the cause of the death was due to blood loss and hyperventilation. The high possibility of this being a murder case, the police are trying to find the culprit and anyone involved in the scheme. Beside the corpse was another high schooler named Kim Dokja. He was covered in blood, but there were no trace of any injuries on him. The police are now questioning the said person.
Due to the incident, the S.T. High has been temporarily closed. Further information on this case will be provided in the near future”
—————
“Thank you. For everything that you’ve done for me.” He placed the flowers down beside a stone.
So it’s finally been three years huh?
“May we meet again in another lifetime. The least I could hope for, is you remembering me.”
He cocked the gun.
—————
“There’s a new webnovel? I better check it out.” Kim Dokja pulled out his phone and checked the website that had ads all over the place
He’s been released from the hospital and just got back home. He knew that it would be for the best if he were to rest for the next few hours, but the novel seemed so interesting.
[Three Ways To Survive A Ruined World]
“The protagonist’s name is kind of...familiar.”
For some reason he felt a sudden rush of unfamiliar nostalgia.
[Remember our promise.]