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A heavy thud woke Eddie from his sleep. He opened his eyes in the dark and flinched, the fight or flight instinct kicking in.
His mind blacked out for a moment, a sudden rush of panic that sometimes overwhelmed him even if he really couldn’t understand why, like there was something screaming in the back of his mind that he should be careful, always careful, but he couldn’t hear the words clearly.
Like the time he saw the balloon stand at the city fair. Like the time he heard the rats in the sewers that sounded like whispers.
A few seconds passed and his mind cleared, when he heard another thud. He grabbed the bedside lamp and slowly sat on the bed, his heart racing in his chest.
Robbers. Or maybe I’m crazy. Maybe I’m just paranoid and I’ll have to go see the doctor and take more pills and they’ll be bad for my liver and I’ll die. Maybe it’s It. Yes, it’s probably It and I’m going to die.
He couldn’t elaborate on what this it was supposed to be, because as he looked at the window he saw a little rock flying towards the glass, hitting it full force.
Another thud, louder this time.
“Fuck.” He jumped off the bed and ran to open the window. Another rock flew a few inches away from his face, landing on his bed. “What the-”
“Sorry, my bad!”
He would have known that voice anywhere. “You are an absolute idiot,” he hissed, looking down with a frown. “What the hell are you doing here this late?”
Richie pushed up his glasses on his nose and smiled up to him.
“But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Eddie is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief that thou her maid art far more fair than she.”
Eddie couldn’t help but smile at that and shook his head. “You know, you could at least change the pronouns, it doesn’t really make sense this way.”
“Too late for my brain to function, Eddie-yo. Come on Rapunzel, let your hair down.”
“What is with the theatrics today, dipshit?” Eddie asked, stepping back and opening the window the rest of the way.
“You bring out the poet in me, Freddie.”
“ Freddie? ” he said, hearing Richie climb up like he had always done since fourth grade. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Richie said, finally getting in the room, more clumsy than usual, falling with his ass on the bedroom floor. “Freddie, Maddie, Confetti. I’m working on new ones, if I keep saying Spaghetti every time you’ll get used to it and it wouldn’t serve his purpose, right?”
Eddie didn’t even bother to give him a proper answer. “What are you doing here in the middle of the night?”
Richie finally stood up, adjusting his clothes. “You didn’t come to Mike’s today,” he said, shrugging.
“Yeah, no shit Sherlock. You know my mom doesn’t let me go to the farm. I have too many allergies to survive that.”
Richie scoffed. “If only that sexy girl knew how strong you actually are she’d send you to the fucking moon unprepared, not only the farm. ”
“Okay, first off: ewww gross. Second: you are clearly talking about someone else.”
Richie sighed and fell on the bed on his back, his eyes closed, and Eddie let his eyes linger on him longer than he normally did.
“We’ve already talked about it, I’m not doing it again,” Richie said, with a serious tone that didn’t suit him. “I’m not here to fight.”
“What are you here for, then? You still didn’t tell me,” Eddie pushed. He didn’t mind Richie sneaking in at night, he really didn’t, but this looked weird, like there was something he wasn’t telling him. And God, he was tired.
“But I did tell you. You didn’t come to Mike’s today,” he shrugged. “What is the weekend without my Eds?”
Eddie cringed slightly at the nickname. “I see we’re back with Eds now.”
“There’s a reason why a classic is a classic. I said I was looking for new ones, but I would never leave your favourite.”
“It’s not my…” Eddie sighed. “You know, you’re kinda scaring me now. What’s wrong?”
Richie smiled and finally opened his eyes again.
Eddie could barely see him in the dark room, but he knew every part of his friend by heart now, he could picture him clearly even if he couldn’t really see. The crooked smile, the glasses too low on his nose, the limbs all wide making him look like a starfish on the bed, the sharp line of his jaw. “Am I this obvious?”
Eddie sat down on the bed in the little space Richie left, just next to his head. “You are to me.”
He rolled his eyes. “Not for the things that count the most.”
“And what is it, then? What is it that counts the most to you that I don’t get?”
Richie looked at his nails and bit his lips, pensive. “This is our senior year, who knows what’s going to happen next. We all want to run from this God forsaken place and we’ll spread to every fucking direction. Give us a few months and we won’t see each other anymore,” he paused for a moment and looked back at him for the first time since he started talking. “I wasted so much time.”
“You didn’t waste time! We did a lot of things together. We built the Barns, we got Bowers off town, and there was that summer, remember? That summer we met Bev and Ben and Mike and we became friends, and I even quit the meds for a while! We fixed Bill’s car, we helped Bev to move… we did a lot of things. I am happy about everything we did.”
“I’m not… I am talking about something else entirely.”
“Then what are you talking about?” Eddie asked, suppressing a yawn. “It’s fucking-” he glanced briefly at the clock. “It’s fucking 3am Rich, I am not getting you, you’ll have to be more specific than that.”
Richie bounced off the bed faster than how Eddie was expecting. “What the f-”
“Okay, fuck it. You can do this, Richie.” He took a deep breath. “What if I asked you to do something crazy?”
“Something crazy like what?”
“Edward Kaspbrak, would you sneak out with me tonight?”
“Would I what?”
“I’ll explain everything. Scout’s honor. You’ll understand.”
“Richie, you have never been a boy scout. You teased Stan for being one a billion times, you hate them.”
“Pretty please?”
“I’ll catch a cold.”
“Wear a scarf, you have plenty.”
“My mom will lock me in and burn the key.”
“Don’t tell her, then.”
“This is insane Richie, I have to study tomorrow, and what if something goes wrong and what if-”
“Don’t you trust me?”
That was a low blow and they both knew that. “Fine,” Eddie sighed. “But only because you’re annoying and this will shut you up. And no silly nicknames for the night.”
“But mooooom…”
“ Especially not ‘mom’.”
He left Richie on his bed cleaning his glasses with his sleeve and got dressed as fast as possible. He wasn’t the one who did this kind of shit, Richie was. Bill was. Bev was. He considered himself to be the sensible one, with Mike, Ben and Stan. He didn’t have the guts to sneak out at night with his mother sleeping in the next room.
But this was Richie. Eddie somehow never managed to say no to Richie, even before his silly crush that he had been desperately trying to hide for months. Even when he was only his silly, clever bestfriend.
He changed, put on his coat and gloves and scarf, and he took some Panadol just to be extra careful
“Are we done, Cinderella? We’re not headed to the fucking ball, no need to get prepped.”
“Well, excuse me, you didn’t even tell me where we’re going, how am I supposed to know?”
“Fair,” Richie said, and he looked less gloomy, a bit more excited and far more nervous than when he let him in a few minutes before. “So, shall we?”
They sneaked out of the room in complete silence. His mother’s snores echoed through the empty corridors and Richie stifled a laugh. Eddie hit him in the back of his head and put a finger on his lips to make him shut up for once.
When they finally got out of the house, Eddie sighed in relief. The air was chilly but pleasant, especially because he was safely hidden under a bazillion layers. The same couldn’t be said for Richie.
Eddie saw him shivering and rolled his eyes. “You know, you shouldn’t go out this late dressed like that.”
He had a black leather jacket with what Eddie was sure it was a short sleeved t-shirt underneath, ripped jeans and combat boots. “You don’t understand Eds- Eddie. It’s for the aesthetic.”
“Like you ever even cared about the aesthetic. ”
“You wound me, Eddie. I care deeply about my looks, it’s just studied to make it look like I don’t care. The most basic fashion rule, it has to look casual but it’s not supposed to actually be casual.”
“You read too much Bev’s magazines, you know.”
“Maybe, but it works, doesn’it?” he asked with a wink.
Eddie hated that the answer was yes, so he didn’t say that out loud, he shook his head in disbelief and asked instead “So, where are we going, dipshit?”
“You’ll see, you’ll see, don’t be impatient.”
“This is not a prank, right? I swear, if this is a prank…”
“Oh my God, of course it’s not a prank, is your idea of me that bad?”
“Yes, yes it is. And you can’t really blame me on this.”
They walked in silence for a while, and Richie started getting more and more nervous. Eddie felt his heart rate increase as well, something was definitely wrong and he just had to know what it was. The fact it was the two of them alone, walking down the street under the stars like a goddamn couple, didn’t help at all.
Keep it cool, Eddie. You can’t ruin this, he cannot know.
When they finally arrived at the kissing bridge his breath hitched. Everybody knew what people went there for.
Stop thinking what you are thinking. This is making things worse.
Richie sighed so deep Eddie feared he could deflate like a balloon. The thought sent chills down his spine, but he didn’t know why.
“So…” Richie said. “The kissing bridge.”
“I see,” Eddie replied, awkwardly. “I know this place, I’ve been here many times.”
Richie walked slowly towards a certain point on the bridge and knelt down to look closer. “Come here.”
“Really? Do I have to kneel as well? Because my back is kinda stiff and-”
“Eds, come on-”
“I thought we agreed on no nicknames tonight-”
“Eddie.”
He didn’t say more than the simple word, raw and low, but it worked. It always did. Eddie got closer and knelt next to him. Richie’s face was pale as snow and he was shivering, Eddie didn’t know if it was for the cold or out of fear, he looked terrified. He gestured vaguely towards a pair of carved words and Eddie swallowed.
R+E
“Well, this sure is a weird coincidence.”
“Not really,” Richie shrugged, “there are thirty three combinations in our school for names with these initials, even more if we consider not straight couples. Trust me, I looked it up.”
Eddie frowned. “And why would you look up something weird like that?”
“Because I needed to be sure it didn’t look like what it actually was.”
“You? Richie, it was you who wrote this?”
He cleared his throat and nodded.
“And why would you do something like that?”
Richie shrugged and looked down, clearly uncomfortable. “Because I like you a lot.”
Eddie froze. “You... what?”
“I like you. I like you, oh, Ben was right, saying it out loud... it really makes it better. I like you, Eddie. I really really do. Here, now you know.”
“Ben?” Eddie asked, his mind fuzzy. “What has Ben to do with this?”
“At least you didn’t punch me in the face. Bill told me you weren’t going to do that but a man can never be sure.”
“Bill?”
“Why are you asking dumb things instead of telling me to fuck off?”
“Why in the world would I tell you to fuck off? I need… I need my inhaler. I need my inhaler, where is it? Richie, where the fuck is my inhaler?”
“Why in the world would I know where the fuck your useless inhaler is? You don’t even have real asthma!”
“I like you too, okay?”
The change of the subject was so sudden that for once Richie was left at a loss of words.
“I like you. I’ve been liking you for a while,” Eddie let it out, at last. “I think you should know as well.”
“Well, I’ve been liking you since eight grade.”
“You are… a complete and utter idiot. You are the biggest idiot in existence.”
“Hey, ouch! Why would you say that?” he asked, but the moment later Eddie was kissing him and his brain shut off.
It was messy at first, and awkward. Eddie’s face hit Richie’s glasses, there were more teeth than recommended, and they were both holding their breaths. They parted after a moment, and Eddie started to laugh hysterically. Richie put his glasses on the floor and smiled, blinking like every time he looked at him with his eyes only.
Before Eddie could say something, anything, Richie was cupping his chin and kissing him again.
This time felt definitely better. Their lips met slowly, sweet and calm, their faces angled just right, and Eddie found himself with his eyes closed without even realising. It was tentative, peaceful, like coming home, better than everything he could have asked for.
“Wowzah,” said Richie as they parted again to catch their breath. “Uh, wowzah is probably not the best thing to say after a first kiss. I was hoping I could come up with something cool, or hot. Wait, saying hot is not hot, is it? Did I mess up?”
“Beep beep Richie,” Eddie whispered, then leaned in just slightly and pressed his lips to Richie’s once again for a brief moment.
“Please, shut me up like that every time. I swear it’ll be one hundred percent effective. I will never talk again. Ever.”
“Maybe I will,” Eddie said with a smirk.
“And you don’t even need your inhaler anymore, I call this the Tozier Effect. Your mama loves it.”
“Come on, Rich!” Eddie sighed. “Now you said it and I need it again!”
“You know you don’t really need that shit, right Eds?”
Eddie pushed him for the nickname and Richie, unsteady on his knees, fell with his back on the ground. Eddie took advantage of his distraction to grab his glasses and put it on his nose. “ You don’t really need that shit, Eddie Spaghetti. ”
“Ha, ha, ha, very funny. Now give it back to me, I need that shit to see, you know.”
“Tell that to your mama, I fucked her yesterday!”
“I so not talk like this,” Richie said, but even if Eddie couldn’t see him – how could he see anything with that awful glasses on? – he could hear the smile in his voice.
“I am Richie Tozier, I can’t sit still for the sake of my own life and I want to fuck every mom in Derry, ha ha ha!”
“Okay, enough!” Richie said, jumping on him and tackling him to the ground.
“Hey! You can’t-” Eddie gasped, trying to free himself from Richie’s grip. “I have allergies! The dust-”
“You don’t have shit, and now,” said Richie, straddling him, “I have you!”
Eddie flinched and looked at him with wide eyes, even bigger with the glasses on, but Richie couldn’t see them. He felt him going still and asked, “what’s wrong?”
“What if someone sees us? This is Derry! We’ll be dead!”
“It’s the middle of the night, we’re alone. It’s okay,” Richie said, then he took his glasses from Eddie’s face and put them back on his. “And now we can even see each other. God, I can’t believe we’re like this, now. Everybody told me you were being kinda obvious lately but I-”
“ Everyone? Did you tell everyone?”
“Of course, they’re my friends! Why didn’t you tell anyone?”
Eddie thought about it for a moment, studying him and trying to elaborate. There was more than one reason. “I was scared. And embarrassed. Not of you of course, but… Ben is like… everyone is sorry for him, I didn’t want everyone sorry for me as well. And there was no point because you kept saying you wanted to fuck literally every human female on the fucking planet. I thought you were straight. Everybody would have thought that.”
“Bitch, it’s called compensating ! Look that up in the dictionary!”
Eddie covered his face with his hands. “You’re unbelievable. What did the others say?”
“Okay, so, basically you weren’t there today so we talked about it a lot.”
“About what?”
“About tonight! I was planning to, well, tell you tonight, so we planned.”
“That’s so lame Richie. That’s the lamest and eight gradest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Well, you kissed me first, so who’s the lame one?”
Eddie couldn’t really say anything at that, so he asked, “so, the others?”
“Ben was thrilled. He wanted me to do this grand gesture, to bring flowers or to sing down your window.”
“Okay, sorry, I haven’t been fair with you. This is the lamest shit I’ve ever heard.”
“Right? And you are allergic to flowers or you believe you are anyway. And your mother would have heard my awful singing so you would have been mad at me and it wouldn’t have worked. Then there was Bill who told me I should write you something or draw you something but I am shit at both, but I kept part of that with the theatrics, as you said. Bev thought I should have just run to your house and told you, but I didn’t have the guts. It was Mike who suggested me to bring you here, he thought it would have been easier for me.”
“And Stan? What about Stan?”
Richie didn’t answer.
“Oh God, should I be concerned? What did he say?”
Richie closed his eyes and covered his mouth with his hands, then looked down at Eddie again and gave up. He sighed and said, “he baked me an at least you tried cake, I was supposed to eat it at his place to cheer me up tomorrow in case it went wrong.”
Eddie laughed, loud and whole heartedly. “Sounds like him. Caring and dreadfully negative.”
“I think he suspected you were going to be okay with it and he just wanted to eat a cake alone. I love that asshole.”
“Richie, I am not okay with it,” Eddie corrected, his tone suddenly serious.
“You’re… not?”
“I am more than okay with it. I am all for it.”
Richie smiled that stupid smile Eddie loved and physically had to get up on his elbows and kiss him again.
“Would you sleep at my place tonight?” he whispered, their lips brushing.
“I’d love to. I’ve been waiting to visit your mom for a while now.”
Eddie kissed a line up his jaw and finally reached his ear. “You’re the worst, Richie Tozier.”
“But you like that I am, do you?”
“Unfortunately, a lot.”