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Miles walked beside Agatha, not looking at her in their conversation, almost as if they were afraid that she would hear them. Miles, it wasn’t their real name, it was meant to be like makeup, on for the day and gone before the clock struck midnight. But it wasn’t gone, and Miles didn’t want to let it go.
The feeling wasn’t right, the dizzy had too much of everything sick to your stomach feeling. They weren’t supposed to be feeling this, where had the ground gone, they shouldn’t have gone to the party.
One thought, one question, stood clear in Miles’ head. Who am I? Who. Am. I?
It wasn’t right, to have the ground ripped out from under them, they hadn’t done anything but go to a damn party.
‘Me’ had lost it’s meaning.
Agatha finally took notice of Miles, the stressed and sick look on their face.
“Marie, are you alright?” Agatha asked, squeezing the hand in hers.
It was suddenly very clear to Miles. “I’m not a girl,” They breathed. “I…I don’t think I’m a girl,”
Agatha blinked, and only said, “What?”
“The party, everyone thinking I was a man, I think I liked it. Too much, I can’t be a girl again, it’s…I don’t think it’s me,” Miles felt his hands shake, what was he even thinking? This was giving Agatha a loaded gun, she could destroy him knowing this, and he was afraid she would.
There was a beat of silence, and then, “Alright,”
“What?” Miles’ hands stopped shaking, out of shock.
“Alright,” Agatha repeated. “I think it’s alright,” She smiled.
“Really?” Miles asked, tears coming to his eyes. “You really think it’s okay?”
“I don’t know much about what you’re feeling,” Agatha started. “Or anything really, but I had to kiss a girl drunk before I realized I didn’t like men, so I can only guess you had to have a taste too before you realized what you wanted. Which makes us quite similar, and I see no need to despise you suddenly because you don’t feel like the fairer sex,”
Miles started crying, happy and scared and everything all at once. Agatha pulled him in for a tight hug.
“It’s okay,” Agatha comforted.
“I wish it was,” Miles responded.
A few minutes later, Miles pulled away, feeling much lighter.
“Better now?” Agatha asked.
“Very,” Miles tried fixing himself up a bit. “Though I’m sure I look in quite the state,”
“Rubbish, you look fine,” Agatha said. “Now, you need a drink. On me, let’s get going, um…what would you like to be called now?”
“Miles” Miles smiled, feeling a little more sure. “Miles is good,”
“Miles,” Agatha smiled. “Let’s get going,”