Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mr. Alex always kept his workplace tidy. There were a few Post-It notes on the walls with various lesson reminders, as well as a potted pink tulip. At one corner was a framed photo of him out to lunch with two other teachers, one wearing a mask and a brown blazer, and the other wearing a green sweater and sporting a smile on his bright red lips.

Lately, however, you've noticed something. Some of his pencils are all chewed up, and others are just broken in half and in the trash can next to his desk. His pens, too. That can't taste very good.

You usually stand to the side of the classroom when assisting Alex, only getting up whenever he requested help or a demonstration for his class. But you did notice how he would nibble at his fingers on occasion, even biting his knuckles whenever a student unknowingly pissed him off. He would do this even more when he felt frustrated while grading his tests, gnawing at his hands until they bled.

You really hoped he was okay. He may be eccentric and a bit creepy, but you knew deep down that he was a good man, just under a lot of pressure. Those concerns had to be pushed aside as you worked on typing some reports. Thirty minutes later, your eyes grew heavy. Shouldn't have slept so late, now you're falling asleep at 1pm, when you're supposed to be doing work. You just let yourself lull involuntarily into a nap right at your little desk...

A sudden sting to your arm woke you up. It was like small knives were being jabbed into your skin, and out of fear you jolted awake with a yelp. You quickly drew your arm away from your crouching attacker, who looked at you with an equally surprised face.

Alex indeed looked scared, even embarrassed that he had been caught biting on your arm. His teeth appeared unusually sharp, and covered a bit in your blood.

"Y/N... I... I'm really sorry..."

You weren't really mad, just startled. Turning to him in your chair, you asked "Why did you do that?"

"I... uh... I don't know," he stammered, looking away. "I've just been so stressed lately..." He wrung his hands, which showed some minor scars here and there. Now you knew what his problem was.

"...are you biting yourself?" you said, giving a concerned look.

"Yeah, I... I've been doing that for a long time. I don't really know how else to deal with it."

You gently took his hand into yours, examining the bite marks closely. This couldn't be healthy for him. There had to be another way.

"Sir, I don't mean to object your way of doing things... but what if we found other ways to deal with stress?"

"Like what?" Alex cocked his head quizzically.

"There are plenty of other ways! Like breathing, stepping outside..."

When you looked back up at him, he looked at the ground. You've never seen him this vulnerable before, but it was your chance to help him out.

"...yeah, I'll consider that," he replied. "Could you help me, though?"

For the next few weeks, you were like a coach to him, training him to use his newfound coping skills. Whenever he felt upset, he glanced at you, and you motioned for him to take deep breaths. During lunch hours, he would take a walk outside the school for a few minutes to clear his thoughts. You knew his biting habits wouldn't go away, so you bought him a necklace with a rubber pendant, specifically meant for chewing. He delighted in it, and you could see him gnawing away as he worked at his desk after hours.

Mr. Alex gave you a pat on the back one day. When he placed his hand on your shoulder, his skin looked more clear.

"Hey, Y/N... thanks for teaching me all that. Never knew I needed those skills, honestly."

You smiled back at him. "Always happy to help, sir."

Chapter Text

3 days before winter break
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You made your way to Alex's school, snow crunching under your feet. Your breath materialized in a mist before you, made to be passed through you as you walked briskly.

Winter break was approaching, but you felt... empty. Ever since you were little, Christmas was supposed to be an eye-opening, exciting time to wake up early to see your tree glowing before the sun came up. It was supposed to be a time when you could hang out with your family and share a delightful dinner, and maybe you could go outside in the new-fallen snow dressed in a coat you'd just received today.

It's all different when you're an adult. You're living in an apartment by yourself, and sometimes you'd wish they allowed pets because it gets a little bit lonely in there. You didn't want to waste money on luxuries too often, so no warm knitted clothes or hot chocolate for you, you guessed.

You were stuck in a cloud of your thoughts when suddenly you felt a sharp pain to the back of your head. The blow was hard enough to send you flying forward, but you kept your stance for a few seconds before more were hurled at you.
You kept running, confused and afraid this early in the morning, as snowballs pelted you endlessly before making you fall, crashing into a face full of snow.
Afterwards, you heard a holler of victory behind you. Once you got up you saw Alex, cheering for his little victory and giggling like a child when he saw your reaction.

"Alex, sir, what...?" is all you could say as he approached you.

"Wasn't that snowball fight fun?" he responded gleefully, extending a hand to help you get up. "I totally got you! You weren't even expecting it!"

"Snowball fight?" You wondered how a single snowball to the head counted as an actual "fight".

You and Alex walked side by side as he continued gloating with his hands in his pockets. "It's like a predator going in for its prey, don't you think?" he continued, attempting to make an analogy. "That's where the most damage happens, from a surprise attack like that!"

"Yeah, I suppose so," you respond, rubbing the back of your head where his powerful snowball hit you.

"Snowball fights are so exciting!" Alex laughed, making you think he really was a kid for a second. "We oughta try that again!"

"I mean, I'd love to sir, but you're not supposed to throw that hard."

"Why not? A battle is where you exhibit all your strength, right?" he picked up a handful of snow, and when he reeled back you flinched a little, but he instead sent it hurling towards a trash can about 10 feet away. To your amazement, the snowball dented its metal exterior, causing it to fall over, releasing its lid and spilling its contents all over the snow. Pretty amazing.

2 days before winter break
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For some inexpiable reason, your heart felt heavier each day winter break inched closer. You were by Alex's side all day every day, as you were his assistant teacher. Not much work had to be done this close to break anyway; maybe the lack of tasks was creating an empty place in your heart.

You were eating your sandwich in the cafeteria when your superior approached you again.

"Y/N!" he exclaimed with a bright smile on his face. "I got you something from the store!"

"Oh?" You tilted your head, curious.

"That's right," he nodded. "It's Christmas cookies! When I saw them on the shelf I thought I just had to get them for you!"

Your eyes lit up a tiny bit at the mention of "Christmas cookies", and you turned your body towards him, expectant.

"Close your eyes now," he insisted, and you did so, holding out your hands. Once you opened them, you were met with a roll of unbaked cookie dough, still in its wrapper. You looked up at him, curious and slightly disappointed.

"See? Cookies!" Alex explained, the smile still plastered onto his face.

"...sir, these aren't baked yet."

"What do you mean? It says so right here, 'sugar cookies'." He pointed at the unopened wrapper.

"But this is the kind you cut up into slices and bake in an oven, sir."

Alex paused for a moment, still trying to understand. You knew that since he wasn't actually human, he didn't know too much about human customs, but you were patient with him anyway.

"Well, that will give you something to do over break, won't it?" he patted your hand as he got up to walk back to his office. "I hope you enjoy it well!" you heard him call out.

Something to bake over break, huh? That was nice of him. The kind gesture lifted the weight in your heart ever so slightly.

1 day until winter break
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There was nothing left to do on this cold winter afternoon. It was a half-day for the students, so they already went home. You sat in your chair in Alex's office, scrolling through social media blankly, bored and still kind of depressed. That's when you heard the familiar opening of the door.

"Can't wait to try hot chocolate for the first time~" he sang happily. You turned around to see what he meant.

Noticing your glance, he handed you a cup as well. "Of course, I would never forget about my favorite assistant! I bet you worked hard, helping me through a semester of biology! Teaching those kids all those charts and diagrams isn't easy, you know."

You blankly stared at the cup, realizing it was just hot milk with a single piece of chocolate floating in it. Again, it was a nice gesture, but it didn't help much.

"Ah right, thanks Mr. Alex," you sighed as you placed it on your desk. You continued gazing at it for a moment before a hand gently placed on your shoulder made you jump.

"Y/N, are you alright?" Alex's voice was hushed, unlike how he would usually speak. You nodded, unable to meet his gaze.

"Hey, Y/N, it's okay," he reassured you. "You can tell me, kiddo."

You never really put that empty seasonal feeling into words before, but now was a good opportunity."

"I just haven't been feeling that great lately," you finally told him. "I know this break is something everyone looks forward to, but I'm just... not feeling it. My family is far away, and I don't have anyone to celebrate Christmas with right now." He watched silently as you poured out your emotions.

"And I'm frustrated that I don't feel as happy as everyone else, but I don't know what to do about it... you understand right?" you asked. You didn't expect him to, of course.

Alex got up quickly, walking over to his desk and approaching with a box, not wrapped or decorated or anything. He handed it to you, meeting your eyes with a warm smile.

"From what you've been telling me," he responded, "it seems like your holidays feel... kinda cold, emotionally, am I correct?" That was an unusual way to put it, but you nodded.

"Well, I'm hoping that this thing I made for you will keep you warm, even on the inside," he continued as he placed it in your hands. "Go ahead, open it."

You opened the box to find a glimpse of pink and white. Thinking it was one of his iconic striped sweaters, you pulled it out to reveal that it was... a fluffy scarf! Apparently it came from parts of Alex's sweater, as the double-sided scarf had a pink-and-white striped side and a solid pink side.

"Don't worry about it, I have more sweaters," he added as you admired his gift.

This gift made you feel warmer indeed. You felt happy, understood, a little less lonely.

"It's great! I uh... thank you, sir," you didn't know how to put your gratitude into words other than that.

"Anytime, kiddo," he gave you another pat on the shoulder before he went to grab his coat. Before he exited his office, he remembered to give his final words for the year:

"I really do hope you have a great break, kid. You've worked really hard, and I'm proud of you."