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After leaving Bardo and returning to Sanctum to find Picasso, Clarke wasn't sure what was to become of her. The rest of the human race had all transcended, leaving her behind. Had she deserved it? She came to the conclusion that she probably did. But that didn't make all of her remaining friends and family leaving her any easier. The only thing she finds comfort in was knowing that they are at peace.
As she wanders around the barren city of Sanctum, Clarke lets herself recall what these past few days have led to. Discovering Hope, losing Diyoza, losing Bellamy...twice, Cadogen trapping Madi in her own mind, seeing Lexa (technically not Lexa herself but it was the closest thing she's had in over 100 years) and everyone she loves transcending without her.
It was all so bizarre. But the one thing that stuck with her was that Bellamy was right.
Bellamy was right...
Bellamy was right.
And she killed him for it.
And it was eating her up inside.
Murdering her best friend is a new all-time low for Clarke. She did it to protect her daughter, but in the end, it never mattered anyway. If she had just listened to him, then maybe he would still be here. Maybe he would've transcended. He told her, that everything he was doing was for his people, for her. He didn't deserve to go through all of that and never get to see if himself.
She made it through the palace of Sanctum (carefully avoiding the throne room where that particular traumatic event took place) and got to the stairwell. Looking out, it seems almost peaceful; a stark contrast to the fiery sight she saw when she stood in the exact same spot not even two weeks ago. Seeing everything in the sunlight, it felt a little serene, but odd.
Though she knew that there was likely no one here, her instinct to not be alone took over and she helplessly yelled for her friends.
"Murphy?! Emori?! Is anyone here?!"
But nothing.
Then along the hill, she hears a bark and sees little Picasso running up to her.
At least I won't be entirely alone.
She runs to Picasso and kneels down to pet her. "Where are we gonna live girl, huh?"
----------
After taking herself and Picasso back to Earth, Clarke realized she needed to make a plan.
“Today water and shelter. Tomorrow food, okay?” she tells Picasso as she sits in front of her.
Then somewhere in the distance, a faint whistle can be heard, and just like that Picasso takes off running. Clarke runs through the forest screaming her name because she can’t be alone. God, she can’t be alone. Not again.
Eventually, she reaches the beach with Picasso still nowhere in sight. “Picasso!! Please come back! I don’t want to be alone!”
Then quieter, “I don’t wanna be alone.”
A few moments pass and then, “Hey Princess, you taking a walk in the woods?”
Her heart stills.
No.
That name.
It can't be.
Too stunned to speak, Clarke slowly turns around and glances down the shoreline. And kneeling there, petting Picasso is someone she never thought she’d see again.
Bellamy Blake.
He's wearing his old guard jacket and tan shirt underneath it, along with his cargo pants. His face is still shaven, but other than the clothes, he still looks exactly the same since the last time she saw him.
After he notices that she’s seen him, he stands up. “You didn’t think I’d leave you behind again Clarke did you?”
Clarke exhales in disbelief and starts sprinting towards him. He smiles and starts running to her too. Her legs can’t seem to move fast enough but then suddenly he’s in front of her, and they’re colliding into each other with almost enough force to put the pieces of her broken heart back together again.
She can’t believe that he’s here. In her arms. Like nothing ever changed.
He still smells the same - like firewood and pine. He still feels the same - warm and comforting. And he still holds her the same - softly, yet so passionately it almost hurts but in the best way possible.
“But, how?” Clarke mutters weakly. She’s too overcome with emotion to really think right now. Her mind is a constant loop of Bellamy’s here, Bellamy’s alive, Bellamy’s with me.
Because he is.
Bellamy is really here.
Bellamy is really alive.
And Bellamy is really with her.
“The beings,” Bellamy says as she still clings onto him. After he doesn’t get a response but only a still very confused look from Clarke, he continues.
“They gave me a choice. They knew I believed in transcendence, but since I died, they gave me the option to either transcend or come back to stay...with you.”
Clarke’s mouth fell agape. What?
She couldn't wrap her head around it. After all she’d done, he chose her over transcendence? Did he choose her over eternal peace? Why?
“Bellamy, no. No, you’ve made a mistake. You have to go back. I’m not worth it. Please, please don’t do this. I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”
She backed out of his arms and immediately felt cold, but she couldn’t stand the thought of him giving up everything he believed in for someone like her.
“Clarke it’s already done-”
"But I killed you!” she shouts. And then, “I killed you Bellamy…” she mutters quietly.
“Clarke look at me,” Bellamy says calmly. She glances up with tears brimming in her eyes and he’s still giving her this soft es ever expression. “I know you made mistakes. We all did. But none of that matters right now. I chose this because I wanted to. I forgive you, Clarke. I always do. Plus, the others didn’t want you to be all alone either.”
Clarke has to catch her breath for a second. “The.. the others? Octavia, Murphy, Emori, Raven, Echo? Madi?”
Bellamy gives her a delicate smile. “All of them. They forgive you too, you know. And since you weren’t able to be with them, this is what they wanted for you.”
Clarke swears she can feel her lungs expand ten sizes and suddenly she can breathe easier. She feels lighter. Knowing that her people are at peace; that Madi is at peace. She looks at him with a hopeful glance and takes a deep breath. He’s still smiling at her and comforting her in ways that only he can.
“It doesn’t feel real,” she points out. But then something warm engulfs her hand, and she looks down to see Bellamy holding it and bringing it to his own heart. “It’s real Clarke. I promise.”
She can feel his heart beating. She feels his giant hand wrapped around hers sending currents of heat throughout her body. She feels his love emitting from his entire being. She feels safe.
“I left you behind once Clarke, and I promised myself I would never do that again,” he says softly while still holding her hand and looking into her eyes in a way that makes her want to melt.
She still feels like she doesn’t deserve this, doesn’t deserve him. “I still don’t understand how you could choose me over transcendence Bell.”
He exhales a small chuckle and playfully smirks. “Clarke, don’t you get it? Transcendence means nothing without you. You are my transcendence. You are my eternal peace. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
And that does it.
She flings herself onto him once more, but this time her lips crash into his.
It’s like the world is spinning but the world only consists of them and their love for each other. Their lips move in sync and Bellamy reaches his hand onto her neck so gently that it’s almost as if it was never there.
Clarke on the other hand isn’t holding anything back as she reaches to the back of his head and tangles her hands in his messy black curls. They feel even softer than she ever imagined and her heart feels so full it might explode.
Her emotions are all crashing down on her and she’s fully aware that probably is looking like a goddamn fool, but she doesn’t care.
Bellamy Blake is kissing her.
They leave no inch of each other untouched as they finally express their feelings. Clarke feels like they’re the only people in the world; which she supposes they are, but that doesn’t make it any less exhilarating.
It’s like two pieces of a puzzle, finally connecting. Completing each other in a way that nothing else ever could. Like two binary suns, always revolving around each other, never crossing paths, yet needing each other to exist. But when they finally collide, it changes everything.
Its the head and the heart; both essential for life. One telling you which path to take while the other reminds you why you take it. They keep each other centered. They keep each other balanced. They are one in the same.
Bellamy and Clarke are one in the same.
After she finally runs out of breath, Clarke detaches her lips from his. She can see that his face is red and she can tell that hers is too but she doesn’t care. All she cares about are his swollen yet gorgeous lips, his infinite amount of freckles sprinkled across his face, and his deep brown eyes that are gazing into her own, and all she sees in them is love. They don’t have to say it, they both know. Their love is stronger than words. It breaks the bonds of anything that could ever even try to describe it. Their love even surpasses transcendence.
But to put it plain and simple; they need each other.
The heart cannot live without the head and the head cannot live without the heart.
Bellamy gives her a beaming and knowing smile as he grabs her hands. “Now, where to start huh? What should we do first?”
Clarke chuckles at the memory that immediately pops into her mind, but still ends up saying, “Whatever the hell we want.”
Bellamy is practically glowing as he turns them around and starts walking her down the beach; her hand still in his. He whistles for Picasso once more and she comes galloping right up next to them.
And so Clarke’s little family takes their walk on the beach headed towards the rest of their lives. Which they are totally okay with because they are doing it together. It turns out, Clarke did meet Bellamy on the other side, and oh how the fields are gold there.
She can see the sun start to set in the distance, and although it’s beautiful, all she can focus on is Bellamy by her side, and this intense feeling of warmth spreading throughout her entire soul. Who needs transcendence anyway? She’s with Bellamy, and that means she’s home.
And that's good enough for her.