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An angel and a demon had been staring at the duck pond dumbly for a good part of their afternoon here.
"So," Crowley cleared his throat. "How did this happen?"
"Well," Aziraphale also cleared his throat. "I haven't the faintest clue, my dear."
"Did you hear that?" Crowley breathed with disbelief.
"Where did ducks even pick up such obscenity," the angel huffed.
"Probably the Antichrist," the demon shrugged.
"Where did an eleven-year-old learn all that?" Scandalised, Aziraphale squealed.
"He's the Antichrist," Crowley shrugged again. "Likely born with the knowledge or something."
"You'll have to check on that."
"And what, angel? Wipe his memory on the most interesting category of human language?"
"No, you have to lessen the amount of vulgarity coming out from those beaks, Crowley!" Aziraphale accompanied the demand with a pout for good measure. "What if the children understand ducks as well?"
"Angel, I'm a demon, remember?" Crowley snorted. "I'm all for swearing."
"Do something!"
"Or you're not talking to me again?"
"Well," the angel fretted, stuttering and wringing his hands about. "Yes?"
"You threatened me with that when the actual apocalypse happened. Ducks saying indecent words is apocalyptic in your mind, angel?"
What are they fucking discussing about?
Your use of language, Andy.
I've always talked like this and I can say whatever I fucking want, Bob.
"Watch me, then," Crowley muttered under his breath when the chattering ducks waggled closer, apparently Bob and Andy, and hauled both of them up into his laps. In the very short moment of change, every communication happened in eye contact, just like how it's perhaps always supposed to be between man-shaped beings and ducks. While the ducks prepared to attack, Crowley frightened them with a demonic predatory stare.
What the fuck dude! Andy quacked aggressively and died down into a timid noise under Crowley's stare. How can I help you? That's how humans be polite, right?
"Quack," Crowley imitated, confusing everyone that heard that sound. "Do I quack like a duck or just speak human?"
We understand some human languages. Andy replied helpfully.
"Whatever," Crowley growled. "Don't swear! Not in front of this one, at least."
"That's not the point!" Aziraphale protested but shushed immediately.
Or what, dude! Bob challenged, reminding Crowley of reckless teenagers fighting with their elders. You can't tell me how to live.
"No, I cannot," Crowley purred and the ducks shivered in fear. "But I CAN make you my dinner," unhinging his jaw to make the point.
Fine! Bob squealed in a non-duck sound and the demon loosened his hold, dropping them ungracefully on the ground.
"Mind how you go!" The angel smiled at them, happy for the silly thing Crowley did for him.
No swearing! You almost got us killed! Andy quacked loudly, drowning out Bob's frustrated mutter.
I had no idea that would happen! Bob complained. How would I know that they suddenly understand us?