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It starts like this, with Hajime asking, “She broke up with you, didn’t she?” without looking up from their History homework. Matsukawa and Hanamaki head shot up from where they were laying down on the table. They looked at each other, then at Oikawa, mirrored looks of confusion in their eyes.
“Well, I wasn’t going to make it a big deal. It doesn’t even matter. But yes. How did you even know Iwa-chan?” It was a lie of course. Tooru had been hoping for more from this relationship, it was his first real one, where they’d been together for months, where he took her on dates, and she actually learned about volleyball- listened to his ramblings about Jose Blanco even. Yet volleyball ended up being what drove them apart when he missed one too many hangouts and dates when he lost track of time practicing. It didn’t even matter. He had volleyball. He had his friends. He was fine.
But clearly, his friends weren’t satisfied with his answer. “It really is fine. I promise.” Oikawa huffed, taking his glasses and crossing his arms.
“Oiks, you’re kind of shitty so this is the only time you will get my sympathy. What did she do?” Hanamaki asked, Matsukawa nodding along.
“Nothing. Really! Nothing. Can we just get back to work?” One of his migraines was starting because of this conversation, and he couldn’t handle it. Once again, it seemed that Hajime somehow understood this, waving at the other duo to let it go. Oikawa heard a faint, He’ll tell us when he’s ready , as he was rubbing his eyes, elbows on the table.
They continued studying, and soon Makki and Mattsun had to leave to go home. It was then that Hajime turned to Tooru, looking him deep in the eyes. Oikawa knew he should feel uncomfortable under his gaze as if his soul was being picked apart, but it was Hajime, his Iwa-chan, it would never feel uncomfortable when it was him. Suddenly, he spoke. “She said something about volleyball when breaking up didn’t she.” He leaned back as he said it, a face showing he already knew the answer.
Tooru sighed and nodded. “I spend too much time on it apparently. I’ll never care as much about another person as I do volleyball. It shouldn’t be my life. That’s unhealthy.” He shook his head as if to clear it up, then continued, leaning his head on his bed behind him. “It’ll ruin me, she said. Imagine that.”
There were different kinds of anger for Hajime. Two were reserved for Oikawa, he knew this. One was when he was mad at Oikawa when he was being bratty or pushing himself too hard again. The second was when he was angry for Oikawa, this was scarier than the former. Hajime’s fists clenched and unclenched, his jaw was tight, and there was a faint fire in his teal eyes. He had a contemplative look on his face, before finally speaking. “Don’t listen to her. I hate it when you spend too much time on volleyball only because it hurts you when you do. But no. This is what you’re passionate about. Tooru, you always try to be perfect, and ugh- picturesque I guess.” He took a deep breath then raised his face to look Tooru in the eye once again. “You’re the most beautiful, and effortlessly so when you’re setting.” It was like an unspoken for me was there at the end of the sentence, lingering in the air between them, but Oikawa felt like he was reaching.
The silence stretched thin between them. All too quickly, Iwa snatched his papers as well as Oikawa’s from the table between them. He started packing up while a startled Oikawa tried to keep up. Before he could ask what he was doing, Hajime started answering. “You dumbass, let me just- I’ll take care of our homework. You’re clearly too distracted for this, and it won’t take me too long. Just let yourself feel tonight. You liked her a lot.” He shook his head, pulling on his backpack. He walked over to Tooru and pulled him into a hug, a rarity now that they were older and their sense of masculinity set in. A quiet voice in Oikawa’s voice whispered that it was safe here, he ignored it. “It’s okay to cry.” Was whispered into his ear, as arms withdrew, and footsteps started sounding before Oikawa called out to him.
“Ha- Iwa-chan, how did- how?” Oikawa couldn’t form the sentence, but Hajime still knew, giving him a soft smile.
“I know everything about you Tooru.” He spoke softly, uncharacteristically gentle for the ace, before walking away.
But when Tooru did start crying, he didn’t understand why but it was over his best friend. It was because he knew Iwaizumi Hajime would never hurt him the way his now ex-girlfriend would. Huh, you don’t know everything do you Iwa-Chan? Tooru thought. You don’t know I cry over you.
The question came to plague Oikawa. Did Iwaizumi really know all there was to the deep, carefully crafted enigma that was Tooru Oikawa? He was wandering around downtown, pretty late at night since he wasn’t able to sleep, minding his own business. Pondering the question. They had been best friends for as long as they could remember, it would only make sense that if anyone knew Tooru it would be Iwaizumi, but knowing everything ? That was what he wondered.
So lost in thought, he didn’t realize it when he ran into Mr.Refreshing. But at the time, the name didn’t seem so appropriate. Sugawara Koushi was just as handsome as ever, in his silver hair, carefree beauty. But it became quite apparent that he was maybe not completely sober. “Oh! Oh-oh! Great King! How are you!” His slurred words were amusing to Oikawa, if not a little startling. “You know- I never got the chance to tell you, us being rivals and all…” He got distracted by the flashing stop lights and trailed off. Oikawa hooked his arm under the other’s shoulder to keep him steady and didn’t pay much mind to what he was saying, assuming it was drunken nonsense. “Oh… uh, yeah! I never got to tell you, you’re hot. Like so fucking hot god, watching you play was something else.”
Now that got Oikawa’s attention. He knew he was attractive, he lived for the attention he got. It was usually from women, of course, but he knew he had his fair share of admirers who were male. He had entertained the idea of being attracted to men as well, but he felt it was better to hide those thoughts, bury them deep in his mind. But not with a doe-eyes Sugawara in his arms, they started to bombard him. He was rambling on still anyways, in Tooru’s arms, of how ‘fun he seemed’ and how ‘his hair was so fluffy even when setting’ (a practiced skill was formed by Oikawa especially for his hair to seem this way).
“Ahh, it seems I need to get you home,” Tooru said, supporting Suga more firmly and asking directions, trying to shut out the intrusive thoughts of his own sexuality. As they walked home, Suga began to sober up, apologizing half-heartedly, saying he did mean everything. Apparently, Mr.Refreshing was as mischievous as he was motherly.
By the time they reached the front door, it was well past 1 in the morning. “My parents are out of town, you can come in if you want and stay the night?” Suga offered this time with no devilish glint in his eyes unlike his relentless teasing and flirting on the walk. (For the first time since he was fourteen, Oikawa had become flustered.)
“I wouldn’t want to intrude still.”
“I offered, I promise you’re not. You live on the other side of town, just come in.” Suga said, taking off his shoes as he entered his house, Oikawa followed in. “Also, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I do mean everything I said, but I also don’t know if you swing my way so…” He looked sheepish for once, innocence flooding his brown eyes. At that moment, with them crowded in the foyer of the Sugawara residence, Tooru found himself wanting to kiss a boy.
That boy seemed to notice. “Or I guess the apology was for naught?” Koushi spoke the words carefully, still wary of Tooru’s own feelings. He got a little closer, “Have you been curious?”. Tooru could only nod, but he felt pretty damn sure at the moment. A steady hand came up to Oikawa’s cheek, and a kiss was pressed to his lips, quickly. “Is this okay Oikawa?”
“God yes.” And he reached for more. He knew he thought Suga was cute, from the moment he saw him. He thought many men were attractive before but convinced himself it was purely a platonic appreciation for as long as he could. He was done now. As he kissed Suga back passionately, they stumbled through the house. Their kisses were rough, with tongues intertwining and hands everywhere.
Soon he had Suga pressed against a door, the way he had girls before, it was different but certainly not bad. “This it?” He asked, voice breathy from making out. All he got was a nod, as he twisted the doorknob and they stumbled in. Oikawa all but picked up and threw Suga on his bed. “This is okay with you right?” Oikawa asked, despite taking off his button-down already.
All he got was a smirk and a finger beckoning him. As they continued to make out, Suga’s shirt joined Oikawa’s on the ground next to them. When Oikawa’s wandering hands brushed against Suga’s nipple, Koushi shuddered and let out a quiet moan, which only spurred on the brown-haired setter. Next thing they knew, they were under a sheet, hands wrapped around each other’s cocks, moving quickly.
“Hey, that was okay for you right? I didn’t mean to push you into this…” Suga started after they both came down from their high, trailing off and turning shy.
Oikawa turned to him and cupped his face. “I promise you didn’t pressure me. I…” He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, and letting it out unsteadily. “I do like boys. You just helped me fully realize that. Thank you.” He said, sending a small smile to Suga.
The silver-haired boy chuckled a bit. “Huh, never thought I’d be the one to make you realize that.” Tooru was confused by the statement, but as sleep overtook him he sighed again.
Another thing Iwa-Chan doesn’t know. I like boys. It was nice to come to terms with it.
The thing with Suga became a regular thing for about a month. A way to relieve stress, especially with Suga’s growing love for his captain. But as the month came to a close, Suga happened to get drunk again, but this time it was Daichi who found him. The rest is history, and Tooru is happy for them. However, not without some parting words of, “If he ever breaks your heart, you’ll always have me.”, said with a wink, peace sign, and smile, which Suga reciprocated.
However, being newly partnerless once again inspired Oikawa. With the fast-approaching Winter Formal, he decided to go alone. He promised many members of his fan club dances and was ready to stun them all in his white suit. Mattsun and Makki were surprised by his decision, as in years prior he had stressed in choosing the perfect girl for this dance. They cheered him on, albeit with shouts of “Embrace your inner hoe Oiks!”
Hajime on the other hand was stressing out and couldn’t pay much attention to Oikawa’s decision, much to the latter’s chagrin. It led him to one day knocking on Tooru’s bedroom door and walking in. It hadn’t occurred to him that maybe he should’ve waited for a response because seeing Tooru in the state he was in made him second guess why he was asking him for help with this, and also burst out laughing.
Currently, Tooru had a green, cakey face mask on, with a bright blue headband pulling his hair back. There were white patches under the face mask under his eyes and a black strip across his nose. He was in his alien boxers, with long UFO socks on. He was wearing a white shirt with many, many green stains now on it. But the best part was him singing to Britney Spears’s Hit Me Baby One More Time with a strong Japanese accent. When he finally noticed Hajime in his doorway, doubled over in laughter, he shrieked. “Iwa-Chan! Warn me! This is my me time! Stop laughing!” Picking up a slipper and throwing it at Iwaizumi, which he dodged, quite used to Oikawa’s antics, he huffed and puffed.
“You know, you will not be ridiculous.” He said, making his way over to Oikawa’s bed and sitting on it.
Oikawa rolled his eyes, “Not that I don’t…” He thought about his words more carefully than usual, he just didn’t know why. “Iwa-chan, is there a reason that you came into the illustrious chambers of the one and only Tooru?” He said, feigning a regality, which just made his attire and the Y2K American Pop in the background seem even more ridiculous.
Hajime stifled his laughter and took a deep breath. He was here for something, he was a man on a mission. “Oikawa, I hate to do this, but I need to ask you for your help with something.” He said, looking down.
“You’re asking me for help?” Tooru was shocked but didn’t let that process at that moment, instead choosing to boost his ego with the information.
“Yes, Shittykawa. Don’t let it get to your head.” Hajime sighed, rolling his eyes, before continuing. “I need your help. That girl in Class-5, Mika Nakamura, I know you know her, you debated her and she beat you?” Oikawa huffed once again at that. “Well, with the Winter Formal coming up… I wanted to, well, I need your help asking her to be my date.”
He blamed how uncharacteristic the sheepish look on his Hajime’s face was and not the prospect of him asking a girl on a date for the uneasiness in his stomach, but nonetheless, Tooru plastered a smile on his face and walked his best friend through the steps of asking a girl out. It worked. He should be happy for him. He told him as much.
But, huh, Iwa-Chan… you don’t know how unhappy that made me, now do you .
It was two weeks after the Winter Formal. Depending on who you ask, it was either the best night ever or the worst. Considering Tooru got no attention from his number one best friend who was busy with his date or his other two best friends who were stoned and causing chaos that he could not be part of for the sake of his reputation, it was the latter. His fan club's praise turned annoying when girls started turning relatively vicious and grabby with their need for his attention. Really, it was too much for him. Especially with the way, his heart twisted seeing the way Hajime danced with Mika Nakamura.
He ended up breathing too hard, running out of the gym, and somehow ending up in his room sobbing, with a quick text to Hajime saying that his sister had to go out and needed him back home for Takeru. Iwa-Chan obviously inquired more, he knew everything he said, but Oikawa brushed it off with his picture-perfect smile.
Now, the two of them plus their other crazier half, Makki and Mattsun, were lying outside, watching over the first years to make sure they ran all their laps. And this time, it was Oikawa who caught it.
“Iwa-Chan? What’s wrong?”
“Hm?” He seemed in a daze. “Oh, nothing just... It’s nothing.”
“It’s clearly something, what’s up?” Mattsun added, Makki nodding along.
Iwa fell back on the grass, gazing up at the clouds, and took a deep breath in. When he spoke next the words came out uncharacteristically unsteady and caused Tooru to get uncharacteristically mad. “Do you think I’m ugly?”
“Hajime. Who said that to you?” Oikawa’s tone was cold, it was almost like he was baring his fangs. Iwa, Makki, and Mattsun raised eyebrows at the use of Iwaizumi’s first name, something he hadn’t said since they were kids.
“Well? Besides you every day?” Iwaizumi let out a faint chuckle, that was clearly strained.
Oikawa’s eyes shot up, and tears started to form quickly. To think he could be the cause of his best friend’s misery. He tried to speak too quickly but didn’t even know what he could say. Luckily Makki started. “You know better than any of us he doesn’t mean that. That’s just how Oikawa is. You’d only start thinking it had meaning to it if someone else said something? So who?”
“Mika.”
Now, all four of them respected women very much. Especially Mattsun, who had a girlfriend before, who moved away their second year. It was heartbreaking for him, but he never blamed her or women in general. Which is why the next words that came out of his mouth were very surprising. “What did that bitch say to you?”
With this, Iwa sat back up into his sitting position, with the sun now shining on him, and his shirt riding upon his stomach showing his toned abs. His sleeves were also rolled up because he needed it like that even in Winter. It shocked Oikawa really, that anyone could call him ugly because with his skin glowing in the sunlight and his eyes an ocean to fall into, it was impossible to call him that really. But it was Makki and Mattsun who reassured him of this, not Tooru.
“Dude, you’re a hot piece of ass. What the fuck?” Makki started.
“She just… she said my personality is great, which is nice. But that, she just wasn’t uhm, attracted to me enough. Because I guess, I don’t look nice enough next to her.” He wasn’t used to sharing like this. It was never necessary for him. But he did, it was nice almost. If only his best friend would say something.
“Well, she clearly hasn’t seen your dick.” Mattsun was so nonchalant about this statement, Iwaizumi had to raise an eyebrow. “What? We all saw it that one time in the first year. It was big then. And if your tight ass boxers are anything to go by, it’s only gotten bigger. She doesn’t know what she’s missing.”
“Yeah, don’t worry. She’s going to regret it. You're hot.” Makki added.
He cleared his throat and finally spoke, gaining all three’s attention. “Iwa-Chan, I never meant anything by what I said. I, I really hope you know that.”
And as Iwaizumi offered a genuine smile and his teal eyes got the sun in them, Oikawa realized that Hajime didn’t know something else. You’re beautiful.
They were graduating. And Oikawa couldn’t believe it. He’d spent his whole life in Miyagi, and now, he was traveling around the world, after getting scouted. And now he was leaving. He was graduating.
“Iwaizumi Hajime! Member of the boys’ volleyball team, and a student with excellent grades.” But nothing compared to the fear in Oikawa’s heart as he saw his best friend walk across the stage because soon, he would be walking away from Tooru himself. They would still be the closest to each other, with Hajime going to college on the west coast of the United States while Oikawa was down south in Argentina.
But still. How would he live without his best friend only a house away? What would he do without strong arms to lean into when he was feeling down? Where would he look when he was hurt and overworked besides teal eyes? It hurt. He noticed.
“Oi, ‘Kawa. What’s wrong?” He asked as soon as they got out of the ceremony. But it wasn’t the time. Tooru knew that. It was supposed to be a happy day, so he wasn’t going to ruin it. So he pasted on a smile and shook his head. Hajime raised a brow but didn’t push it.
Their other halves, Makki and Mattsun, ran up to them and jumped on them, and they all laughed. Tooru had to quickly deal with about 27 girls asking for his second button, and 13 more confessions- the final ones he would receive in high school. They met up with the team, eyes teary, and laughs shared. Yahaba was officially named captain, and Tooru burst with pride for his kouhai. They decided to play a few three-on-threes, the last one with the third years.
Finally, it was time for them to go. The third years walked together, their usual route. Joking, crying, reminiscing. It was a bittersweet ending to their three years together. Makki and Mattsun took their turn, and it was simply Hajime and Tooru once again.
“So you gonna tell me what’s wrong now?” Hajime asked, sparing a mere glance to Tooru as he continued walking.
Tooru stopped for a moment, before asking, “Why do you think something is wrong, Iwa-Chan?” Before skipping up towards him.
Hajime let out a small chuckle, “I just do.” He turned towards him. “I’m going to miss you Shittykawa, you know that right?” Tooru could only nod, tears starting to gather in his eyes. He hadn’t let himself cry yet today, he wasn’t a very pretty crier, something he lamented was his downfall as one of the most attractive people he knows. But Hajime had seen him cry, Iwa-Chan had been there to comfort him every time he cried. But it wasn’t just him, he heard a small sniffle from his Iwa-Chan, and he looked up into his eyes. “I know that’s been bothering you. Don’t worry, I don’t know what I’m going to do without you constantly annoying me either.”
Tooru’s eyes grew wide, and he remembered his question. “Do you really know everything about me? Do you really think you do?”
Hajime was surprised by the question but simply nodded, looking confused and stepping forward. Then Tooru knew this was Iwa-Chan, this was his best friend who he chased around in forests, waded through rivers with, cried with, took care of, and who took care of him. He knew he could never imagine a life without him but yet that was what was about to happen. It was then that Tooru knew he couldn’t lie to him about something this important, that when they parted ways, he wanted him to know everything about him because Hajime is the only one who was allowed to. And more importantly, he needed Hajime to know, needed him to know just how much he was missed, how much he was worth.
“You don’t.” The ace was startled and looked a little nervous as if he was worried he had done something wrong. “It’s, it’s not your fault… I never got the time to tell you. Because I just figured it all out.”
“Here are the things you don’t know, Hajime.” He took a deep breath. “I like boys. Too, I mean. I’m bisexual. Maybe you figured, I don’t know but you’re not the type to assume, so I just wanted to confirm. Uhm, hm, the next thing I never told you, as I think you’re beautiful. More beautiful than I am, because you’re something to come home to or go on adventures with. I wanted to tell you that day you asked if you were ugly. And even that day, you were so, so beautiful. Your body is perfect, absolutely perfect. Your jawline, your everything. I don’t know. But you’re eyes especially.”
Iwaizumi was tearing up but Tooru couldn’t stop. “The next thing is- I hated when you asked Mika Nakamura to the Winter Formal. I hate her even more now, but it made me upset like I was being replaced. And I know that doesn’t make sense because I’m only your best friend and you were looking for romance with her, I guess. Another thing, Uhm.” He looked into Hajime’s eyes, lifting his own from the ground between them. “I’ve cried over you. So many times. You’re the only constant in my life, and I have compared every girlfriend, fan club girl, everyone to you. And my heart was never broken because- they broke up with me. It was because I could never imagine them staying with me and putting up with me the way you have.” Hajime had gotten closer and was gripping his arms, which were currently folded over his chest. “Hajime, you don’t know something very important.”
The grip grew tighter, teal eyes grew curious and anxious, and the bodies got closer. “I love you. So much. I have ever since we were kids and I’m so sorry it took me so long for me to realize. But I need you to know.” Oikawa was crying his ugly cry, the one only Hajime, his parents, and his sister had seen. But yet, it was the most beautiful sight he saw. And every moment from their 18 years together which Hajime knew he loved him, came flooding into his mind at that moment, and Hajime could only do one thing.
Their lips smashed together, with the aggressive care that was signature to Iwaizumi Hajime when it came to the one and only Oikawa Tooru. They had both kissed others, guys, and girls each, but nothing, would ever compare to this. It felt like it could be no one else after they had a taste of this. Their summers together as kids, under warm sunlight, with their bellies aching from laughter were in this kiss. Their saddest moments like when Oikawa’s knee injury occurred or Iwaizumi’s grandmother died and he was heartbroken were in this kiss. The moments where Iwaizumi had wondered what his tan hands would look like against Oikawa’s pale skin, or when Oikawa stared a little too long at Iwaizumi’s arms and chest to be considered simply appreciation were in this kiss. Kissing anyone else would be wrong at this point, because what was the point if it didn’t mean everything this kiss did.
As they pulled apart, Tooru could only whisper, “I love you, I love you, I love you so much Hajime, I-”, before being pulled into the other’s embrace. His head was pulled down into the other’s shoulder, and he gripped onto the other.
“Tooru, I love you too.” He said, and their tears began to fall. They might be hours away now, but they’d always have each other. And they both knew that.